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    • CommentAuthorbflora
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008 edited
     (1000.1)
    I posted this over on the Bendis Board a few hours ago because I thought it was funny and also to celebrate what I believed was a kind of perfection that Warren achieved in today's Bad Signal. Someone suggested that you guys might enjoy it, too.

    -----------------------------------

    I've been on Warren Ellis' Bad Signal e-mail list for something like 3 years now it's amazing how quickly things like this become habit) and today he just sent ut a message containing almost every piece of shtick he's ever referenced.

    Let's go down the list.


    bad signal
    WARREN ELLIS

    * Looks like I'm off to Norway in May. There will be beer. Also, it should be dry enough in Oslo to sit outside and smoke, with luck.

    Reference to alcohol? Smoking? Scandinavian country?

    Check. Check and Check.

    * New phone: Nokia N95 8GB. Am pissed off that Nokia chose to break their PC Suite desktop-side manager for the phone. However, in pretty much all other respects it performs brilliantly.

    Reference to mobile technology?

    Check.

    * AvantGo lose for their awesomely shit Symbian client. If the phone knows that there's a USB cable shoved up it, and every other app on the phone knows when there's a USB cable shoved up it, an AvantGo client should have a fucking clue. Massive fail + Arse Eels for AvantGo.

    Reference to sodomy and/or sodomy involving eels?

    Check.
    * Also, a nice man called Quim Gil sent me a Nokia 810 internet tablet today. A beautiful little device. I'll know more once I've got a bluetooth keyboard tethered to it. It's really optimised for wi-fi, which is an unknown
    commodity in these parts, but it was the work of ten seconds to get it to tie to my N95 and access the web through the phone's GPRS provision.

    Self-deprecating reference to living in a yet-uncivilized region? Bluetooth shoutout?

    Check and check.

    * Note: the N95's internet provision is 3.5G -- the bugger
    just rips along.

    * There's a ton of software for the 810 at maemo.org. I swear, there's even a package that makes your 810 look like a tricorder. Stevens, you may want to investigate this."

    Reference to some new software? Star Trek reference?

    Check and mega-check.

    * Watched an ep of BoingBoingTV on the way to the pub, on the phone. Nice.

    Obligatory BoingBoing shout-out?

    Check.

    Ellis just sent out the ultimate Bad Signal. Everything you need to know about the guy was in this e-mail. You know I'm right!

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Thoughts? Did Warren write the perfect Bad Signal today? Will it ever be topped? I'm a huge fan of the list, every message is like a perfectly timed can of dirty swamp water. You might not drink it, but at least you'll think about it for a second. I just thought today's message deserved special attention.

    *braces for arse eels*
    •  
      CommentAuthorYskaya
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008
     (1000.2)
    If the next includes gardening it would be almost perfect.
  1.  (1000.3)
    You spent how much time on this?
    • CommentAuthorDracko
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008
     (1000.4)
    I'm having a time out until I can learn some manners.
    It probably took him seconds, actually.
    •  
      CommentAuthorvrbtm
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008
     (1000.5)
    Since the best art is fueled by hate, I think we can all pretend to agree with you and pretend we are helping Warren create art.

    Yes, Warren has jumped the shark and then he threw cousin Oliver over the sharkpit during the Baltar's trial and then some reference to season 6 of the west wing.

    /run-on sentence /snark
  2.  (1000.6)
    You can always unsubscribe
    Is not like you're paying for it.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAdam
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008
     (1000.7)
    I'm rather fond of them too. Though I did find this one to be rubbing his access to complimentary tech in our faces a bit. He should organise with Nokia to have Whitechapel-branded versions of these gadgets given out to his faithful henchmen here -- at least the ones willing to horribly mutilate the genitals of his enemies. Or the ones who tend and maintain his arse-eel farm, surely. Good Henchmen need to be easily contactable at all times, no?
  3.  (1000.8)
    yes!
    • CommentAuthorzenbullet
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008
     (1000.9)
    @Adam

    I'd say that's the lesson of Global Frequency.

    C'mon, who doesn't want a Freq. Phone?
  4.  (1000.10)
    I practically have a degree in genital mutilation (should write a BBpost on it. Ahhh the joys of college).
  5.  (1000.11)
    at least the ones willing to horribly mutilate the genitals of his enemies.
    -Adam


    I bet you he'd be more willing to give the fans that mutilate their own genitals something a little extra...
  6.  (1000.12)
    yknow, i forgot how sick i am of the phrase "jumping the shark". unless, of course, you are actually JUMPING OVER A MOTHERFUCKING SHARK. in which case it is the best shit ever.
    •  
      CommentAuthorhowyadoin
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008
     (1000.13)
    Does it have to be a live shark?
    • CommentAuthornleavitt
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008
     (1000.14)
    So... jumping the shark was something random and unusual to desperately try and attract the audience, whereas you are pointing out things Warren does normally. So, a Happy Days metaphor would be... Has Mr. Ellis Worn a Leather Jacket and Helped Kids With Their Problems?
  7.  (1000.15)
    either way. corpse shark could be rad, done correctly of course.
  8.  (1000.16)
    nleavitt- well this is a board where everyone knows your name....*cough*
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2008
     (1000.17)
    The shark is actually a device controlled by Warren. It is this way because he wants to see Henry Winkler die.
  9.  (1000.18)
    I'd actually never seen the phrase 'jumping the shark' before today, and this thread.
  10.  (1000.19)
    I'd actually never seen the phrase 'jumping the shark' before today, and this thread.


    Lucky lucky Roo....
  11.  (1000.20)
    seriously, you are lucky to avoid such "buzzphrases".

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