Whitechapel - Worst. Movie. Ever.

Whitechapel - Worst. Movie. Ever. Wed, 22 May 2013 04:40:32 -0700 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/ Lussumo Vanilla 1.1.4 & Feed Publisher Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303452#Comment_303452 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303452#Comment_303452 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:01:04 -0700 Horrible Warning Si Circumstances of experience.
Reasons for soulchunder revulsion.

GO. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303453#Comment_303453 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303453#Comment_303453 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:04:49 -0700 Horrible Warning Si Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303454#Comment_303454 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303454#Comment_303454 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:21:04 -0700 Will Ellwood Circumstance: Up in Edinburgh for a day or two heading up to Fort William to throw myself up a mountain. Visiting Magnulus, a very old friend of mine from way before Whitechapel existed, he feeds me delicious pizza and forces me to watch this abomination of a film.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion:

Well there's this

And then there's the trailer

After I'd left Edinburgh I almost seriously injured myself twice in climbing related accidents. I fully blame The Room and not my own idiocy. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303455#Comment_303455 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303455#Comment_303455 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:24:16 -0700 ravnos
Cabin Fever.
Some friends and I were hanging out during my first year at college and they said "Hey lets go see this new movie..." At the time I wasn't quite as big into movies as I am now, but I had heard nothing about Cabin Fever, but they were excited because Rider Strong was in it, who I didn't even know off the top of my head (they had to explain that he was in Boy Meets World...) So we went to the theater, grabbed some food, and sat down.

And about 25 minutes later I wanted to leave. No plot, terrible writing. Terrible acting. Terrible camerawork. I literally thought my brain was going to devour my eyes for watching this loaded piece of feces. Honestly, the only fond memory I have of this movie, is my friend randomly yelling "Pancakes" for weeks afterwards, and the odd looks she got. That's it. And the only reason I DIDN'T get up and walk out was because it was the first time I went to a movie in Boston and didn't know how to get back to my dorm from the theater...

Now I know better.

Okay, so I know that's not the best example, but it's all I can think of right now... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303457#Comment_303457 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303457#Comment_303457 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:26:28 -0700 James Puckett Avatar
Viewed in 3D at a high-end digital theater with awesome sound.
Avatar was blatant populist drivel dredged out of other movies and dressed up with special effects. It can be seen as a pro-minority rights film, an anti-corporate film, an anti-military film, an environmentalist film, a new-age religious film, etc. This makes the movie play well anywhere in the world but for makes Avatar terminally boring for someone who has seen all the films Cameron plagiarized. Avatar's plot is generic evil-corporation sci-fi that went out of style with cyberpunk, but hopped up on speed instead of put out of its misery. This insipid pandering is compounded by awful dialogue that is mostly phoned in by bad actors who just want to get paid and go home. In his worst moments the Australian lead can't remember which accent to use. The script was clearly written to cycle through the same digital sets multiple times in order to keep costs down. And it was far, far too long. I could go on, but I think you can get the picture. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303458#Comment_303458 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303458#Comment_303458 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:29:39 -0700 StefanJ bad.

I'm thinking about one in particular. A "in search of bigfoot" movie that involved a bunch of students searching for the big guy. I recall starting watching it two or three times, but never got through it. It was so mind numbingly dull that I fell asleep each time. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303462#Comment_303462 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303462#Comment_303462 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 16:02:57 -0700 DC As usual I was slight interested in the movie because it's a comic adaptation and I even won merchandising from the movie on some magazine contest which I might have somewhere. I caught the movie on tv some years later and I decided to try it since I thought it couldn't be that bad despite what everyone said. Yeah, it's even worse. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303463#Comment_303463 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303463#Comment_303463 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 16:05:40 -0700 Purple Wyrm
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.
A friend insisted we go and see it, purely on the basis that it's based on Greek mythology and he was on a major Greek mythology kick at the time. We kept making objections along the lines of "Dude, it's a kid's film" but he insisted on the basis that "It's got minotaurs and shit". So we ponied up the cash and trooped into the cinema.

The plot varied between hackneyed and incomprehensible, the characters did things that no sane person would actually do if they didn't have a plot to keep moving, the actors seemed to be terminally bored through the entire thing, the sidekick was if not an actual offensive racial stereotype then about as close to an offensive racial stereotype as you can get without actually being an offensive racial stereotype, and the dialogue - oh god the dialogue!

"YOUR OMNIPOTENCE HAS BLINDED YOU!!!"

We actually did end up having quite a good time because we quickly gave up on trying to appreciate the movie on its merits and just mocked the shit out of it. The friend who was so keen to see it ended up pointing out that at least each scene was better than the last - in the sense that it was closer to the ending. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303466#Comment_303466 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303466#Comment_303466 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 16:16:25 -0700 BrianMowrey Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303475#Comment_303475 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303475#Comment_303475 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:17:14 -0700 sebfowler
I must say I love watching these abominations, so I'm giving you my enjoyable worst films, rather than films I actually hate.
Title: Birdemic
Circumstances of experience: Some friends from uni get together and hold b-grade movie nights occasionally, someone brought this to the last one.
Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: The acting, the use of in-camera sound (no actual mics as far as I can tell), the special effects (described as "like animated gifs"), the plot, the long and pointless shots of people driving. Pretty much everything. The trailer should speak for itself.

Honorable mention goes to Lair of the White Worm, starring a young Hugh Grant.
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303481#Comment_303481 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303481#Comment_303481 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:56:34 -0700 Soviet Rocket No. 9
Circumstances of experience: So...after the last shuttle launch, my gang and I went to subs for lunch. We were planning on going back to my friend Jason's to hang, but we notice we had a lot of time. Then the conversation turn to current movies, then to (that-which-shall-not-be-named). I lost the debate, especially since it was 2 against 1 and we brought one car.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion.: Oh god, where to start...the not-subtle sex jokes, the chest-beating-because-you're-obivisualy-compensating-for-something patriotism, the eye-raping visuals, the story that-makes-it-look-like-it-was-written-by-Helen-Keller-punching-furiously-at-a-keyboard-while-being-edited-by-a-sugared-up-three-year-old.

Honorable Mention: Fast Five. Only because it makes a great movie to riff on, because of how stupid it's presented. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303493#Comment_303493 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303493#Comment_303493 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:20:17 -0700 Foamhead
The only surprising thing about it was that every name listed in the credits wasn't Alan Smithee. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303496#Comment_303496 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303496#Comment_303496 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:38:05 -0700 Beamish
Circumstances of experience: It's fucking Godzilla of course I'm going to see it. Plus, most of the cast don't mess up.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: This is the only movie that made me (want) to walk out of the theater. Just terrible. I stuck it out because I wouldn't get my money back anyway. I loved how it was Jurassic Park in New York, because, we needed that. Also all the baby raptors -errr- Godzillas born in MSG.

I need to scrub my brain now. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303498#Comment_303498 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303498#Comment_303498 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:55:19 -0700 ScottS
I refuse to recall the circumstances under which I saw it. I have tried to block out all memory of this horrible piece of utter crap and even for my fellow Whitcechapelers I refuse to relive it. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303500#Comment_303500 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303500#Comment_303500 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 20:04:50 -0700 Purple Wyrm Inspector Gadget.

I saw an advance trailer for it about a year before it was released, which made it look like one of those cynical-yet-loving Generation X oriented reworkings of pop cultural classics that were so popular in the 90s (Brady Bunch Movie anyone?). Hell, it even had a premature ejaculation joke. I didn't bother to see it in the cinema, but when it showed up on TV I decided to check it out.

I was floored by just how jaw-droppingly horrible it was. The humour (such as it was) was juvenile and sanitised (juvenile humour can be very funny, but not when it's bowdlerised to the point where it wouldn't offend an elderly spinster) the plot barely held together, the scene flow was jagged and confusing, and it was almost completely unwatchable. I stuck it out in horrified fascination just to see if it could get any worse - which it consistently did until the credits rolled.

I suspect it was originally meant to be the hip and cynical movie suggested by the trailer, and was filmed as such, but some studio suits jumped in at the last minute and insisted it be turned into a children's film, resulting in a frantic hurry to cut something kid-friendly together out of the footage they had available. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303502#Comment_303502 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303502#Comment_303502 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 20:26:10 -0700 Birds_Use_Stars
I give you Ninja Terminator!

"The ninjer empire is supreme and you have double crossed it!"

"But will it BLOW my enemies UP?"
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303505#Comment_303505 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303505#Comment_303505 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 21:01:59 -0700 Chris Blakeley The Company of Wolves, Neil Jordan's re-telling or re-imagining or re-conceptualizing... or some damn thing of Little Red Riding Hood. How bad was it? Bad enough that I remember the act of seeing it but nothing else.

Circumstances of experience: I had just moved to Seattle the autumn before and my roommate was a HUGE fan of the Seattle International Film Festival and made a point of going to the Secret Series every year, which is basically a blind screening. Every Saturday morning, people queue up to see something. Could be old, could be opening next fall... it's a crap shoot. And my roommate thoughtfully (genuinely) bought me a pass.

Unfortunately for all involved I was temping in a tech position that offered two shifts, very early mornings or very late nights, which we shuffled through so nobody had to do one or the other all the time and I'd just been shuffled from mornings to nights. So on four hours of sleep, I shuffled across town, stood in line for about an hour, stumbled to a seat and was treated to... this.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: It's a story interspersed with four other stories based on the original Perrault version of Red Riding Hood with symbolism and... I think there was a lot of blood? And Angela Lansbury? And... uh... hrmmm.

I did mention four hours of sleep, yes? I remember that I saw it, not what I saw. In fact, I have to look up the title whenever I want to talk about it because it's buried that deep. All I know for sure was that my friends were raving about it, the audience was ecstatic and I felt like I could have stayed in bed and had more realistic and believable dreams than that.

I skipped the rest of the Secret Festival. It was a bit of a social blunder but damn me if I was going to lose any more sleep to that tripe. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303506#Comment_303506 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303506#Comment_303506 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 21:10:12 -0700 Jason A. Quest Anger Management. An Adam Sandler film, but Jack Nicholson is in it, right? No.

Nicholson's character is supposed to be so annoying that he makes Sandler's supposedly-sane character go crazy. I don't know if he succeeded, because this is the only movie I have ever walked out of. I took a nap during Transformers 2 because my friend wanted to see it. I sat thru The Expendables because I knew the explosions and sweaty muscles would make my date horny, and that actually paid off. I've endured countless rom-coms and more than a few teen slasher flicks. I watched Elf when a co-worker loaned the DVD to me in a misguided mission to bring joy into my life. But only Anger Management ever sent me to the lobby, ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303508#Comment_303508 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303508#Comment_303508 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 21:15:49 -0700 ravnos In The Mouth of Madness has great acting, an amusing plot, and a rather sickening sense of appeal for those of us with disturbed senses of humor. It has terrible CG, and the writing isn't always great (but isn't usually BAD either), but that's no reason to despise a movie that much. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303514#Comment_303514 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303514#Comment_303514 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 21:52:58 -0700 tachyon42
The first 5 minutes of 28 weeks later does as well. Awesome opening to a zombie movie, terrible disorienting sequel following. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303515#Comment_303515 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303515#Comment_303515 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 22:01:44 -0700 Rootfireember Inland Empire.
Rented DVD.

Returned it an hour or so in. I can't describe the movie coherantly at this point beyond 'he had a new camcorder and was playing with it' and 'my brain leaked out my ears from dullness and ran screaming away'.

Since that time I've recommended it as the best movie ever to people I don't like. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303517#Comment_303517 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303517#Comment_303517 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 22:09:10 -0700 Alan Tyson New Rose Hotel.

Willem Dafoe, Cristopher Walker, Asia Argento. Based on a William Gibson short story. Produced in the same era that gave birth to the story itself. This should have, if nothing else, been a fun, decent flick.

Oh no, my friends.

Oh NO.

I mean, who ISN'T taking the piss in this scene?

And, I'm sorry, but even Willem Dafoe cannot rock a soul patch. This is coming from a man who wore one for half of high school. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303521#Comment_303521 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303521#Comment_303521 Tue, 26 Jul 2011 23:53:05 -0700 Purple Wyrm Peter Jackson's King Kong

Argh! It burns!

By the time they were fighting the giant bugs I just wanted them all to die. FUCKING DIE. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303525#Comment_303525 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303525#Comment_303525 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 00:44:23 -0700 Vornaskotti
Circumstances: Like half of my pals, I was a John Woo fan in the 90's, and seeing him being involved in The Big Hit made us rent it. Whee, hongkonguesque action. NO. The humor was bad. It was bad in the way Hong Kong movies are at their worst, but which the local actors can somehow carry and turn into mere groaners. Replace the actors with Western guys, and you get stuff so stupid you scream your eyeballs out.

This is the first movie ever I remember quitting in the middle, since I just couldn't bear it - and there have been three of those. One was Chronicles of Riddick, but I didn't really quit it intentionally, I just wandered out of the room to do something and forgot to come back, going "oh, wasn't I watching a movie" in an hour or so, and the third was 1996 Black Mask (IIRC, that sounds like it).

Well, all of us quit The Big Hit in the middle and proceeded to get drunk. My pal and fiancé watched the film to the end in the morning, all hangoverish and mellow. It didn't get any better in the end, apparently. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303526#Comment_303526 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303526#Comment_303526 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 01:05:05 -0700 Lazarus99 Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303527#Comment_303527 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303527#Comment_303527 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 01:14:54 -0700 razrangel
Like someone else said I do tend to forget horribly awful movies, or at least forget a much of the details as possible. I know I saw the first Transformers when hanging out with a friend who just loved it (I didn't get it then and I don't get it now), but I snuck a little 500ml bottle of Jack Daniels with me to spike my Coke. That at least made the ridiculous bits rather funny, though unfortunately the bits that were supposed to be funny just came out dull.

Another friend dragged me to Wanted. Story was stupid as shit and I've never been more sure that an actor's motive in a given scene was the paycheck more than when I was watching Morgan Freeman try to be a bad guy but ultimately not give a shit. I am not an Angelina Jolie fan so my friend squeeing on and on about how awesome her ass is and how terrific she is for saving babies in Africa and because she bi and isn't that great... (said friend is a bi female) just grated because none of that saves what I think is mediocre acting. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303528#Comment_303528 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303528#Comment_303528 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 01:23:26 -0700 sneak046
The worst Movie I have ever seen was a movie called ROOSTER.

ROOSTER tells the story of a humble cocker* and his coming-of-age son - set against a back drop of the cock-fighting underworld.
It has a peeping tom midget, more references to 'cocking' than you can shake a stick at, and some of the most blatant Pepsi product placement I have ever seen. Also, some of the worst 'acting' this side of Porn. Totally Fucking Amazing.

My mate had this on VHS along with a thousand other great '80's B-movies inherited from his Dad's defunct video-rental store. this was also the source of my second entry below:

--

The second worst movie I have ever seen is an Aussie movie called HARD KNUCKLE - a sub-Mad Max post-apocalyptic Australian movie where the only money to be made (it appears) is in high-stakes Pool games - with a gimmick being if the player's ball knocks over a block in the middle of the table the player has to sacrifice a digit - hence the title..

Our hero faces many challenges before he can face his ultimate foe, and finds romance along the way. It's a load of old tosh, but fun.

--

(* A Cocker is apparently the term for someone who participates in cock-fighting). ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303530#Comment_303530 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303530#Comment_303530 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 01:44:34 -0700 RenThing Title: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (no, I shit you not)

Circumstances of experience: Some friends of mine and I were at the video rental store (just to give you a rough estimate of how long ago this was) and couldn't decide on what to watch. My best friend at the time, who had shit for taste in movies and still does, picks up TCM:TNG and says, "Hey, this has Matthew McCounahey (or however you spell his name), it can't be that bad." He was fucking wrong. He then pulled the "It's my car what got us here and if you fuckers don't go along with what I want you can walk your asses back home." He had his movie-choosing privileges revoked after this.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: The acting was shite, the gore was shite, there weren't any scares at all. This was like Hostel's older, mentally deficient brother. Like wearing a bicycle helmet and bib, licking the windows and trying to bite his own ear "mentally deficient". I don't know if the writers and/or directors watched the original and said, "Hey, how can we make this better?" if by better they mean idiotic. Apparently the horrible psycho family is actually part of some government conspiracy or something, and one of the crazy brothers (McCounahooie's character) has a leg brace that's also cybernetic.

And they made Leatherface a cross-dresser. I don't know if that was supposed to make a chainsaw-wielding, other-people's-face-wearing crazy more edgy but it just felt cheap.

To date it is one of two movies that made me feel dirty after watching it, the other being Blue Velvet ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303537#Comment_303537 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303537#Comment_303537 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 02:58:09 -0700 keyofsilence
Circumstances of experience: a friend bought it on a whim and I went to his house to watch it with a few of my other friends. I was stoned and probably drunk so at this point I would've been fairly easy to impress, but... fucking hell. It was actually a pretty good time because we were mocking it so hard.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: It's basically Guy Ritchie trying to be deep and coming off like a really pseudo-intellectual pretentious prick. All of the characters are so unrealistically wound up all the fucking time and seem to adhere to social logic that is so unbelievably tense and stupid that you can't help but laugh. I even joked earlier on in the film "you just know they're going to have a really tense Jason Statham shower scene", and it actually fucking happened. He also looks and talks as if he's constipated throughout the ENTIRE film. It also pissed me off that Ritchie wrote in a few parts about Chess that were such complete bullshit that any fucking amateur could debunk it.

I'm getting angry just thinking about it.

EDIT:

From imdb: "There are no opening or end credits. Only the distributor (EuropaCorp) and the production company (Revolver Pictures Ltd) are credited at all. The ending has several minutes of blank screen and piano music. This seems to be a deliberate choice by the director to reinforce the movie's philosophical themes."

Cheapest use of Moonlight Sonata ever, apart from in Elephant, which was also utterly fucking terrible. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303547#Comment_303547 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303547#Comment_303547 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 04:19:49 -0700 icelandbob
Resident Evil: Afterlife

This film will insult the intelligence of an amoeba. it actually made me really angry at its crapulence!! ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303551#Comment_303551 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303551#Comment_303551 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 04:47:16 -0700 curb Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303553#Comment_303553 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303553#Comment_303553 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 05:34:27 -0700 Ben Gwalchmai
I've never walked out of or turned off a film that I haven't seen before so can't contribute. Wish I could though - the hate in this thread is palpable.

Keep it up, movie-lovers. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303555#Comment_303555 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303555#Comment_303555 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 05:54:35 -0700 badbear
I love Michel Gondry's work, I really do. I'm a devotee. But even I couldn't get past the unendlingly depressing badness of this movie. From Seth Rogen constantly telling the audience what they should be thinking and feeling ("Oh my god, that was so cool! Wow, we are so badass! Cameron Diaz is so hot!" Jesus fuck christ shoot me) to the unnecessary deaths perpetuated at the hands of the "good guys" to the nonsensical relationships between the main characters. (Why are they friends? Why have they stopped being friends? Why is Cameron Diaz?) There is nothing redeeming about this movie.

I feel a little bit ill just thinking about how bad it is. Nostalgia has a lot to answer for.

I also second the nomination for Peter Jackson's King Kong. One day that man is going to make a movie that purely consists of people staring at into each other's beautifully lit CGI eyes. And it is going to have a run time of FOREVER. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303561#Comment_303561 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303561#Comment_303561 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 06:28:54 -0700 cardo
Val Kilmer. Joel Schumacher. Batman fucking Forever. Pish. The first two Burton/Keaton movies where moving nicely along.... and then this.

Also, I agree that Jackson's KK was disappointing. Not for any one reason, just a combination of a lot of things. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303571#Comment_303571 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303571#Comment_303571 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 07:51:11 -0700 256 Inland Empire. AGREED.
I watched this in a cinema by myself. The whole thing was ugly as shit, and managed to be both completely nonsensical and utterly predictable at the same time. Not Dave Lynch's finest hour...

At least I didn't pay to see it.

Worst thing I've seen recently: The Happening. Had heard that it was terrible. Decided to watch it and see. The cynics were right.

I can usually wring some sort of enjoyment out of even bad films - some scrap of dialogue, single effective shot, bit of background, something - but I've just never seen a film so devoid of any goodness at all.

The only good thought I had while watching it was that the general "plot" would make a lot more sense as one of those depressing low-budget British films from the seventies. Although you'd need a bleaker ending to make that work. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303572#Comment_303572 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303572#Comment_303572 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 08:01:44 -0700 Tim Murr
My wife and I couldnt stand another minute in our tiny unairconditioned Boston apartment and decided to take in a flick. As I recall there was nothing worth seeing and the only thing we knew about Orange County was that it was a comedy. Fine, how bad could it be...

I cant even bring up the details of this turd at this point, I just remember saying to my wife every five minutes or so "this is the worst fucking piece of shit I've ever seen in my life." I wanted so badly to walk out, I couldnt even fall asleep. The airconditioning was really the only thing keeping us there. The ONLY other film that has come close to offending me for being so boring and pointless was The Astronaut's Wife with Johnny Depp. And for the sake of full disclosure I own the angora laced boxset of Ed Wood's three best films on VHS...so I'm not hard to please. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303575#Comment_303575 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303575#Comment_303575 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 08:15:02 -0700 RenThing
Man, that one was bad. It's one of the reasons why the name Joel Schumacher is a curse in my house, not unlike Barbara Streissand.

Another movie if, I may: Boondock Saints II

I loved the original. LOVED. It's a simple shoot-um-up and I love the interactions between the two brothers. And I'd been waiting for the sequel. I mean, BSD was so fucking awesome, how could the sequel go wrong? Ha ha.

I'd heard that Troy Duffy, the writer/director, became something of an arrogant prick among Hollywood after the cult popularity of BDS that the Powers That Be(tm) then told him to sit in the corner and think about what he'd done for a while. I wish they'd never let him out. The movie was shit, so much shit, after the first one was amusingly awesome. At one point, during the cameo of the Rocco character (as he's going off on some totally bonkers rant about what it is to be a man for no other inexplicable reason other than Troy Duffy has a hard-on for the state of man-ness and wanted to give the actor another IMDB credit), I looked at my wife and asked, "How long have we been watching this shit?"

"I don't know," she responded. "There aren't any clocks in hell."

Not even Billy Connolly could raise this movie to simply mediocre. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303578#Comment_303578 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303578#Comment_303578 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 08:34:16 -0700 The Outer Church Southland Tales

I bought a cheap used DVD. I'm a fan of Donnie Darko (director Richard Kelly's debut) and whilst I'd heard discouraging things about ST part of me refused to believe the film could be entirely without merit. I'd actually built myself up to expect some kind of flawed, sprawling weirdo masterpiece that the critics were simply too stuck up to appreciate. I was intrigued by Kelly's odd casting choices (Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott, Justin Timberlake, um, The Rock) and his chutzpah in putting together something so ambitious, which also spanned a series of graphic novels.

The critics were right, however. It's a truly awful film. The acting is woefully bad, I believe primarily because none of the cast seem to know what the fuck is going on from one moment to the next - they seem genuinely dazed all the way through, especially poor Mr Rock, who reacts to other actors talking to him with a kind of startled woodenness, if such a thing can be imagined. But, more importantly, they're saddled with a script which is a masterpiece, sure, - but of pretension and juvenile idiocy. Two moments stand out as particularly vomit inducing - at the beginning, when Timberlake solemnly paraphrases Eliot thus: "This is how the world ends... not with a whimper, but with a bang" as though nobody had ever thought of that crazy piece of textual reconfiguration before, and the excruciatingly heavy-handed reference to Philip K Dick's Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said, in which - okay, strap yourselves in - a policeman says 'flow my tears'. The film is so terrible, I felt like I needed a brainscan to check whether it had actually inflicted any lasting damage.

Oh, and The Killers are on the soundtrack. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303579#Comment_303579 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303579#Comment_303579 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 08:38:33 -0700 RenThing
Oh, and The Killers are on the soundtrack.

At least it wasn't Creed or Nickelback? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303580#Comment_303580 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303580#Comment_303580 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 08:43:44 -0700 The Outer Church
Thinking about it, I could just as easily have chosen Blair Witch 2: Book Of Shadows, which managed to betray and/or insult everyone who came into contact with it. Possibly the worst drowning of a franchise since Schumacher took over from Burton on the Batman series. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303582#Comment_303582 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303582#Comment_303582 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 09:05:03 -0700 ravnos
In The Mouth of Madness
28 Days Later
Resident Evil: Afterlife

I kind of like Revolver, I wouldn't say it's awful, but I'm not a huge fan of the movie (hence the .5). Same thing with Jackson's King Kong and Boondock Saints II... Kong had good acting, but that's about it, and BSII wasn't a BAD movie - just a horrible sequel. I think... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303583#Comment_303583 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303583#Comment_303583 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 09:19:36 -0700 James Puckett Inland Empire.

I tried watching that. Incoherent pretentious garbage. Sometimes David Lynch tries far too hard to be weird/indie/creepy new guy. Inland Empire really only reminds us that he outgrew weird a long time ago. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303584#Comment_303584 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303584#Comment_303584 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 09:23:21 -0700 Will Couper
I'd also like to second the vote on 'A Company of Wolves', desperately arty shite.

My subject today will be 'The House of 1,000 Corpses', Rob Zombie's directorial debut (no, I'm not counting all the videos he directed for his own songs).

I had been excited to see this film ever since I'd heard about it, I've been a fan of Rob Zombie's music for years and the aesthetic he brought to the graphic design of his albums. Due to a number of factors I didn't manage to get to see it in the cinema. When it came to DVD my girlfriend at the time and myself were growing apart (read: a few months away from splitting up) and I decided I wanted to cheer myself up. Fortunately my brother-in-law was manager of the local Global Video at the time so getting a hold of this cost me no money. Thank fuck. It turned out to be a garbled, mongrel-scabbed piece of attention-deficit brain wreckage. Rob Zombie can't tell a story and can't maintain his own interest in one thing for more than a minute before he needs to splice a few seconds of his wife dancing around topless, which actually makes the film more boring. Add to that there's no plot, just a bunch of references to (mostly) forgettable seventies exploitation films. To say I was disappointed and quite sad at having lost an hour and a half of my life to this twitching piece of cinematic road kill is something of an understatement.

Will ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303586#Comment_303586 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303586#Comment_303586 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 09:26:32 -0700 BrianMowrey
28 Days Later was only mentioned as a setup for the post's shaming of 28 Weeks Later

Actually, Weeks might be the most recent terrible film I have seen. The way gore is handled in that one really is excruciating and depressing, though I guess looking back, maybe I get what it was going for. But it misses. It aims for the apple on your head and puts an arrow straight in your nose.

That makes sense, too -- no way I would have watched something so terrible if it hadn't been a sequel to a really good flick. Nothing else has made it past my stabbing defense. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303593#Comment_303593 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303593#Comment_303593 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 10:47:28 -0700 curb Antichrist.

Saw it to see what all the fuss was about, and because I had fond memories of Trier's TV show, The Kingdom. Big fucking mistake. The one thing I will say for it is that it looks pretty, and I guess Willem Defoe and Charlotte Gainsbourgh struggle to do their best with the script. But the Dialogue, and in this context it really does need the capital D, is the most overwrought I've ever heard. Listening to it was like being beaten over the head with stone slabs for ninety minutes. So, by the time all the horrible violence started, I really couldn't care about the characters. Also, the film features a talking fox and a crow that gets punched to death. Twice. I'm sure Trier meant these to be unsettling, but they just came off as funny to me. And not in a good way. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303595#Comment_303595 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303595#Comment_303595 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 10:50:32 -0700 ravnos
And to add... I like House of 1,000 Corpses. It's not the best film, but it's significantly better than most of the other splattergore movies (Hostel, Turistas, the SAW sequels (I like the first Saw movie...)). ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303597#Comment_303597 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303597#Comment_303597 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 11:01:58 -0700 lampcommander
Circumstances of experience: 2 because I quite liked the first one, and was excited to see the next part. 3 because I hoped that they had gotten their philosophy 101 wankfest out of their system and would actually go back to the spirit of the first film... and I knew it was a vain hope.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: HA!

I thought even with the Animatrix that the fanboyness was getting a little out of hand, but having to sit through the brain-weeping barf of pseudo-philosophical dialogue in the other two was just one of many reasons (Neo as Christ) I could not see any redeeming features in these. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303598#Comment_303598 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303598#Comment_303598 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 11:20:44 -0700 ravnos Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303600#Comment_303600 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303600#Comment_303600 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 11:36:02 -0700 IsaacSher
Circumstances: I have a neighbor who LOVES Transformers, more than anyone I've ever met, which is saying something since I've known a lot of intense transformer fans. He insisted that the Michael Bay movies are good film, and while I enjoyed the first movie a tiny bit, I was warned away from the second. He pressed the blu-ray of T2 into my hand and all but begged me two months ago to give it a second chance, and to "just enjoy the visual spectacle." So I sat down by myself in my living room and watched Transformers 2.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Oh GOD, where to begin? The plot made no sense, the characterization was crap, and I do NOT need to see middle-aged actors in a jockstrap. The racist twin minstrel show twisted the knife further, but the moment that finally broke my spirit was during the big climactic fight against what was presumably meant to be Devestator... and we see that the bestial transformer has TESTICLES. Big brass wrecking balls dangling in its giant metal crotch. If I'd had a gun handy, I would've been sorely tempted to take up Russian Roulette at that moment. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303603#Comment_303603 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303603#Comment_303603 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:41:13 -0700 Solario
Because if it's the last one, then Mystery Science Theatre 3000 got it right -

Title: Manos, Hands of Fate

Circumstances: Imported the DVD after hearing about the MST3k commentary track on the worst movie ever made. Watched it with a friend whose enjoyment of bad movies is only eclipsed by my own.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Discarding the technical problems like terrible lighting, continuity errors, the non-existent plot and resolution, the real life suicides associated of a couple of the cast and crew, the terrible make-up and prosthetics etc. The movie is meandering, nonsensical in the worst possible way, the acting is horrendous and the characters have the attributes of particularly thin and soggy cartboard. Everything in this movie is terrible; even Torgo, whom I love, and whose main characteristic is that he's a secret servant satyr with a pedophilic streak. And it's glorious to watch, through and through. It doesn't have the joie de vivre of an Ed Wood film, but it's incompetence is a thing of sublime beauty. But Torgo. Sweet, sweet Torgo.

TORGO.

To reiterate: Torgo.
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303605#Comment_303605 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303605#Comment_303605 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:52:59 -0700 PatrickBrown
Armageddon, which was just such a soul-crushingly boring string of cinematic cliches that I wanted to leave long before the end, but didn't because I thought my mates might be enjoying it. Turns out they wanted to leave as well. One slight silver lining was that having seen it, I enjoyed Team America: World Police all the more.

One I did walk out of was Up at the Villa, a tale of adultery and murder among English ex-pats in Italy shortly before World War 2, which was written and directed by people who had apparently never observed how human beings behave. Characters communicate in uninterrupted ten-minute speeches while other characters sit around smiling emptily with glazed eyes. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303608#Comment_303608 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303608#Comment_303608 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 13:03:26 -0700 razrangel California Institute of Abnormal Arts and as far as hosting horror shows on local broadcast TV. So thanks to them I've seen Manos and several other movies that made me regularly ask "What the fuck just happened--wait, do I actually care? no, I don't, please pass the scotch."

Someone up thread mentioned Lair of the White Worm. I can't remember the circumstances around watching that one but I know I can't place it on friends because I think I was out of town, possibly passing the time at someone's mom's house. I just remember thinking "this is why you don't give a god stats, then they become kill-able."

And if this list IS about movies for masochists, then we would be remiss if we failed to mention the Sean Connery masterpiece Zardoz!

(Hopefully the embed works this time, I'm about to give up. Just remember: Connery in a red-orange loin cloth.)

You know, maybe I should slap my friends.

ETA: I realize I'm sounding hard on my friends. I don't get out to movies very much and I spend my Netflix allotment most typically on classic movies and anime. But it's friends' reviews that also keep me away from movies that sound unforgiveably bad, for example Avatar, Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Green Lantern, Transformers 2 & 3, GI Joe, etc. and it's friends who got me to go to very lovely/fun movies like the Potter series and Iron Man. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303609#Comment_303609 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303609#Comment_303609 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 13:09:25 -0700 curb Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303610#Comment_303610 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303610#Comment_303610 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 13:13:43 -0700 FredG
Circumstances: The Terminator/Conan on Mars and the possibility of Sharon Stone flashing the hoo-ha again how could it go wrong...

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Written by a 14 year old for 10 year olds, high tech vehicles made from a 1976 Popular Mechanics VW Bug conversions (see image) and no Sharon Stone hoo-ha only three plastic mutant hooters.

But what do I know, I actually like Pluto Nash. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303615#Comment_303615 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303615#Comment_303615 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 14:25:52 -0700 ravnos Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303618#Comment_303618 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303618#Comment_303618 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 15:30:39 -0700 KPatrickGlover
Saw it in the theater when it first came out. Not by choice. Some friends were raving about this hot new action star, Van Damme, and how amazing he was. So, his new movie comes out, we go.

How bad was it? This is a science fiction film where one of the characters actually says, "I'm going to get the pirates that killed my Pa."

That bad. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303624#Comment_303624 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303624#Comment_303624 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 16:17:12 -0700 256 Scrubs made. Zach something? What a complete doucher.

The best/worst thing was that he put himself, or sometimes the back of his own head, at bottom centre of practically every single frame of the entire goddamn movie.

@Will Couper: "mongrel-scabbed" - Brilliant. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303633#Comment_303633 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303633#Comment_303633 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 18:07:55 -0700 johnjones

This.

Circumstances of experience.
I went to see this because of the the title. Sometime in 2002, I had some time on my hands in middle of the day and decided to catch a movie. I believe everything else on was stuff I'd either seen, or had no wish to see. I recall I that saw the title and thought something like Cool. A sci-fi movie. That should be okay.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion.

The horrible acting, the horrible dialogue, the message, aka, modern morality is horrible (at least to the uptight, fundamentalist prig who is the "hero" of the movie). But mostly the sheer, awful, agonizing boredom of the piece. I walked out before this was said, but it sums up my feelings for this movie:

Russell Carlisle: Stop the movie! You must stop this movie! The man on the screen just blasphemed the name of the lord! There must be some mistake! You must stop this movie! This is an abomination!

Case rested. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303637#Comment_303637 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303637#Comment_303637 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 19:07:00 -0700 Soviet Rocket No. 9

You mean this? When I was in ~~brain washing cult for kids~~ youth group at my church, they were advertising this for a local christen film festival. Even before I figured things out, I thought to myself, "Who would want to see a Christian movie?". ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303638#Comment_303638 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303638#Comment_303638 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 19:22:26 -0700 Fishelle
It's hard to pick the worst out of Mobsters and Mormons, The R.M., The Singles Ward, The Home Teachers, and Saturday's Warrior. Mobsters and Mormons gets a special amount of hate because the world's most awful English teacher was an extra in it and seeing his face makes me want to vomit, but there's one that beats it.

There's a Mormon Pride and Prejudice. Having grown up loving the 5 hour Colin Firth version and quoting it with my sisters, I had hoped for something worthwhile. Surely they couldn't ruin Pride and Prejudice? But they did. And one of my sisters owned it on DVD. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303642#Comment_303642 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303642#Comment_303642 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:27:32 -0700 Rootfireember Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303643#Comment_303643 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303643#Comment_303643 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:43:43 -0700 ScottS @ScottS Aww... that's actually one of my favorite movies... since you didn't post anything else about the movie I suspect the simple fact that it was a B-movie bothered you?
In The Mouth of Madness has great acting, an amusing plot, and a rather sickening sense of appeal for those of us with disturbed senses of humor. It has terrible CG, and the writing isn't always great (but isn't usually BAD either), but that's no reason to despise a movie that much.

Maybe we've seen different versions of the same movie? We are talking about the John Carpenter piece of utter dreck, right? I mean, I love b-movies. I will sit through Tremors, the Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins and any number of Bruce Campbell movies (because Bruce Campbell is in them, natch). But In The Mouth Of Madness is the kind of movie that is so bad that when it's over not only was I pissed off that I'd spent the (what was it at the time... I can't recall the ticket prices) whatever amount of money it was... but there were two girls in the row ahead of myself and my friend who summed it up perfectly: "What the fuck was that and why did wewatch it" .... I could not think of a better review. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303644#Comment_303644 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303644#Comment_303644 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:23:24 -0700 CamyLuna Once

I was watching it on DVD at home - my husband probably falling asleep on the sofa.

I guess I was expecting it to be great, and it was just really tedious. I kept waiting for something to happen that was meaningful or that touched me in some way, but it just dragged on and on. It's a very "counting spoons" movie. The production values even got on my nerves after a while. One of the shots had a boom or something in it which set me off. Even if you're making a film for next to no money, there's no excuse for a boom in the shot. (See - it upsets me even now.)

A lot of people absolutely love this movie. Not for me. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303645#Comment_303645 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303645#Comment_303645 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 22:04:16 -0700 James Puckett But In The Mouth Of Madness is the kind of movie that is so bad…

It's that bad. The first half of In The Mouth Of Madness is a decent attempt at weird meta-fiction parody of superstar horror writers, 80s/90s noir films, and 80s/90s movies about the interaction of men and women in big-city corporate jobs. It isn't until about halfway through that the plot explodes into Stephen King attempting to channel Lovecraft during a bad acid trip, and even then it's still kind of humorous. John Carpenter movies are really like Bruce Campbell movies—you're watching for the artists, not for the art. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303649#Comment_303649 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303649#Comment_303649 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 23:09:44 -0700 Neil Ofsteel
Horrible movie 1: Til Human Voices Wake Us
I went to see this on accident, I was actually supposed to go to a screening of another awful movie (Final Destination 2) but they substituted this insanely dull, pretentious piece of garbage instead. SPOILER ALERT: True love = necrophilia.

Horrible movie 2: Godzilla (US)
I saw this when I had the flu. Two horrible tastes that taste horrible together!

Horrible Movie 3: The Exorcist: The Beginning
Another free screening (a perk of working at a theatre prior to the bootlegging renaissance) this movie made me feel physically ill because it was so over-the-top bad. It was the first movie I saw that made me feel like the film makers had actual contempt for their audience. The next was the first Bay Transformers movie.

Horrible Movie 4: Transformers by Michael Bay
Due to Steven Spielberg's Executive Producer credit and "heartfelt" internet video about how much he enjoyed and respected the property, I have boycotted anything he's done since. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303650#Comment_303650 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303650#Comment_303650 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 00:15:46 -0700 Vornaskotti Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303652#Comment_303652 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303652#Comment_303652 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 01:34:23 -0700 Lazarus99 My contributions...both Aussie, too...
Bloodlust
Vampire movie that looked really cool in the cover pics...turned out to have apparently been filmed on a video camera with a red filter for the whole movie! Add to that dodgy acting, plot, FX and laughable makeup...time for eyebleach.
Well, I can't seem to find a hotlinkable picture or video, to here's the IMDB link

Bodymelt
I have no words...except "intraphenomelogical"...I dunno, just watch the clip...
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303654#Comment_303654 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303654#Comment_303654 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 02:20:07 -0700 keyofsilence Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303655#Comment_303655 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303655#Comment_303655 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 02:30:40 -0700 Dextra Hell-ephone. It's not likely you've heard of it unless you were in it, or you've been forced to watch it. I was both in it, forced to watch it, and I pull it out to force others to watch it on occasion. My brother was one of the college kids. I believe his character was named Rick, he was the long haired kid. The only one of the hapless victims that actually had a gun, but apparently too stupid to know how to use it. I had a couple of bit parts, but my character Sara was the only person in the movie to actually be killed via phone. With a title like that, you'd think there would be like exploding cell phones or ones with spikes popping into people's ears or something of the sort. No, just some random nonsense tossed together.

And whatever I was doing to post videos here in the past no longer works, so here's a link to the trailer if anyone wants to see. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303656#Comment_303656 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303656#Comment_303656 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 02:39:35 -0700 D.J. Crash - the one that won an Oscar for best film. (As far as that goes, honorable mention to Slumdog Millionaire.)

It's just 2 hours of racist people complaining about racism. Yes, we get it, people are hypocritical. Also, I didn't realize it's possible to have plotholes in a movie where nothing happens. Basically a whole bunch of people told me it was good so I checked it out, then I forever regretted it.

I would also like to back up In the Mouth of Madness. I am a John Carpenter fanboy, and it is a fun movie. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303659#Comment_303659 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303659#Comment_303659 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 03:24:10 -0700 Solario
And I would also like to back up In the Mouth of Madness. It is not a good film, but I've never been bored watching it. And it gave us this:

I'll agree with the sentiment concerning Crash, the Oscar one. It is definitely one of the worst films I've ever seen. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303660#Comment_303660 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303660#Comment_303660 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 03:51:12 -0700 Aurora Borealis
Possibly because I paid for it THREE times, heh.

In the past, two of my friends bought me tickets to various movies, so when the second Matrix movie came out and they were broke I thought "hey, I have money, you want to see it, let's go!".

The problem: EVERY FIGHT SCENE WAS TOO LONG! Yes, nice special effects, sure, it looks cool but... but... MOVE ON! GODDAMMIT MOVE ON! I DON'T WANT ANOTHER TEN MINUTES OF THE SAME FIGHT!
Observation: someone looked at the script and went "hey, this thing's about 20 minutes too long for a single movie, let's split it in half!"... and so they did and padded the hell out of it.

Never bothered with the third one.

Oh yeah, speaking of Antichrist? I saw it... TWICE! Might watch it for the third time somewhere in the future. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303661#Comment_303661 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303661#Comment_303661 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 04:02:24 -0700 ebullientsoul Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303662#Comment_303662 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303662#Comment_303662 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 04:39:25 -0700 Ananzitusq
I like to believe that those two movies never existed, and its just The Matrix.

What is the opinion for SHOWGIRLS? It's gone over to that "so bad its good" category but its also terrible. I mean, I love it because of the insanity. Better yet, has anyone ever seen the cut they sometimes show on VH1 that makes the movie even more incoherent and possibly into a weird art house flick? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303664#Comment_303664 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303664#Comment_303664 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 05:26:06 -0700 Will Couper
@ keyofsilence: I tried to watch 'The Human Centipede' and gave up. Similar reasons to yourself and adding utter boredom to the list.

Will ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303667#Comment_303667 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303667#Comment_303667 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 05:56:43 -0700 epalicki
Badly acted, incoherently plotted -- which is saying something, because, you know, the plot is all laid out there for you in history books -- tedious and pretentious. And also: Luc Besson hates British people.

I wanted so badly to leave the theater, but I was with a friend and didn't want to ruin his night.

After the movie, my friend turned to me and said "I wanted so badly to leave the theater, but didn't want to ruin your night."

I love early Besson, but he's never really lived up to the promise of Leon or La Femme Nikita. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303670#Comment_303670 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303670#Comment_303670 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 06:46:01 -0700 ravnos
Oh yeah... that's probably the worst movie I've ever seen.
I watched it after a friend at work told me how it made his girlfriend vomit (a plus, I didn't really like his girlfriend).
That movie was just all kinds of "Wait... why the fuck am I watching this?" But I saw it through.
Only movie I ever fell asleep during, without turning it off and finishing a short time later, was Tomb Raider though... Which I didn't think was bad, I was just tired.

But yeah... Human Centipede... that movie was fucking awful... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303671#Comment_303671 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303671#Comment_303671 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 06:57:03 -0700 James Puckett I know I already mentioned Revolver, but did anyone hate The Human Centipede as much as I did?

I had blocked that film out of my memory until you brought it up. I actually watched that entire thing, beginning to end. The Human Centipede pretty much defines prurient. The only purpose it serves is to prove that John Waters' early movies really are art and there is a great deal of room for something to be even worse than Pink Flamingos.

Crash is just sanctimonious Hollywood crap. It's nice to know that all those actors are so concerned about racism that they got together and did a boring movie about racism. Instead of spending the money on a good biopic about Martin Luther King Jr. or something. But Crash is not a genuinely bad movie, because it is at least competently written, acted, directed and edited. Crash is just competently fucking boring.

Showgirls is wonderful because it was clearly intended to be a terrible film. Eszterhas and Verhoven deserve lifetime achievement Oscars for conning a studio into giving them $45 million to make a campy B movie about…whatever the hell that movie is about. I can't stop laughing long enough to really understand it. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303672#Comment_303672 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303672#Comment_303672 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 07:06:47 -0700 Scrymgeour be cool

reason for seeing: Get Shorty

reson for soulchunder revision....everything. THAT kiss, the black eyed peas, the terrible acting....just...just shit ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303673#Comment_303673 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303673#Comment_303673 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 07:19:00 -0700 Will Couper AN ACTUAL FUCKING STORY.

Will ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303676#Comment_303676 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303676#Comment_303676 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 07:54:23 -0700 Birds_Use_Stars
I, on the other hand, love some of the worst.

Here is Samurai Cop (1989)

]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303677#Comment_303677 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303677#Comment_303677 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 08:01:28 -0700 longtimelurker
There is no right frame of mind for this one.

MAMMA MIA.

Me and wifey just taking leave of our senses back in 2008.

Not bad the first 1/3, they actually alternate the songs and dialogue. And the final 1/3 has degenerated into a concert, with song after song after song, so okay, this is a concert, not a movie.

But that middle. That middle. I've rarely cried laughing. Fresh tears were literally dropping from our cheeks. Both of us. Both cheeks. Pierce Brosnan thinks he's too cool to sing, so he speaks his part of the song. Then he warms up and sings anyway, and you wish he'd go back to talking. Then he chases Meryl Streep up the hill singing, and he stands on a cliff and throws his hands in the air right when Streep hits the big note. Wifey yells "now jump off the cliff!" and we both die. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303678#Comment_303678 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303678#Comment_303678 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 08:35:13 -0700 RenThing
You see, I made her go see Max Payne with me. This is why she is angry.

I loved the Max Payne video game. It had an interesting feel, I thought the story was cool, and, really, crying babies have never been so creepy/annoying. So when they made a movie I dragged her along.

I should have remembered the lesson I learned about watching movie adaptations of video games I learned from Doom. That I forgot said lesson after the Super Mario Brothers movie is beside the point.

God, Max Payne was bad. Apparently Mark Wahlberg's leather half-coat of emo-ness can stop shotgun blasts at nearly point blank range but not a couple of rounds from a hand gun. The trailers feature these weird, dark, sort-of angelic beings going around murdering people and I was very disappointed to find out that those are just the hallucinations people have when they're on a drug that, among other things, seems to cause them to shake their head a lot and make strange noises somewhere between an angry dog with a head cold and someone pretending to be an angry dog with a head cold while on drugs.

The reason why this is bad? Two hours of my life down the tubes and I paid full admission price for the privilege. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303679#Comment_303679 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303679#Comment_303679 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 08:43:07 -0700 sellmeyoursoul Leaving Las Vegas. She had heard the exact same things and thought that sounded like a great idea.

Now for those of you who haven't seen it, it's about a man who goes to Vegas to drink himself to death and the hooker he befriends. It is not a happy feel good romp and really not written to get anyone laid.

So the night of the big date comes and I pick her up at her dorm, which was on the other side of campus/Boston's Public Garden. When I got there there were several other guys milling about. She explained that they lived on her floor and wanted to come see the movie with one of those "I'm too polite to say no, but I'm really sorry" faces. OK, sure. It's a movie. We walked to the theater with a small group of manic guys trying to impress her in our orbit. She's polite but seemed to want to focus on talking to me. Nice. Then the film started...

I'm uncomfortable pretty much from the start because this is totally NOT a date movie. As it progresses I periodically check on her and she goes from slightly uncomfortable to genuinely upset, but insists everything is OK when I ask. The film ends and we leave with the same group of morons bouncing around us. She is very disturbed and explains that the movie hit a little close to home, but won't say any more. When one of the boys does something "funny" she laughs and plays along and then gets quiet again when it's just the two of us.

We go back to her room to hang out. When we are alone she opens up. The woman who raised her as her mother in an alcoholic. In runs some of those guys doing something stupid and she becomes all smiles and laughs until they leave. Her actually mother was on heroine while pregnant with her and she's had some health issues to deal with from that. A burst of more unexpected hilarity from the locals. She was raped. The boys are back... ha, ha, ha. Twice. It went on like that all night. I liked this girl and wanted to be supportive. I also didn't want to be the guy who freaks out and leaves because a woman opened up and shared something traumatic that happened to her. At around 5 am, it finally seemed like it made sense for me to go home. We said our awkward good nights.

This is when I needed to walk home. Normally I'd walk through the public garden, but at 5am, no way in hell. I took the long, well lit way around. About a block and a half away from my dorm a car passed me slowly and the driver eyed me. Perhaps it's my general paranoia or that intensity of the night, but I was taking notice of everything that I encountered. Less than a block away from my dorm, that same car pulled up beside me and the driver leaned over and asked if I had a light. I said I didn't and then the man dropped out of sight as he reached for something down on the floor of the passenger side. I have no idea what it was because I began running faster than I'd ever run in my entire life. I didn't stop until I was inside my building, expecting a bullet to the back the entire way.

So yeah, Leaving Las Vegas, my worst cinematic experience ever. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303680#Comment_303680 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303680#Comment_303680 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 08:58:43 -0700 lampcommander Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303684#Comment_303684 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303684#Comment_303684 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 09:55:52 -0700 256
@Ananzitusq - Yeah, I liked Showgirls. It's bad, but it's enjoyably bad. And it does have one thing going for it: It's not halfhearted. Unlike a lot of generic Hollywood movies that are shitty, but so forgettable that they don't even make it onto lists like this. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303687#Comment_303687 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303687#Comment_303687 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 10:24:23 -0700 emonster There are plenty of films that I can't sit through, that is easy, but a horrible film that makes me sit through the entire thing, is a gem.
Any of Godfrey Ho's ninja films from the 80's are gems.
Try to find Ski Wolf. It is not good.
Find Get Even. A vanity project from an LA attorney. NOT GOOD.

]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303694#Comment_303694 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303694#Comment_303694 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 11:12:06 -0700 William Joseph Dunn "Crash". I would add "Traffic" for similar reasons.

I saw "Batman Forever" mentioned, but I think "Batman and Robin" is even more unwatchable (I'm the biggest Batman fan and even I can't get through it). Speaking of bad comic book movies, I would say "The Spirit" was as bad as "Batman and Robin" and considering the source material, "Watchman" was horrible too. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303697#Comment_303697 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303697#Comment_303697 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 11:55:36 -0700 Sonny Spiderman 3.

Now, I never was too big a fan of Spiderman in general, speaking as a comics reader. I do understand why he's such a popular character though, the themes are universally relate-able and Peter Parker is someone you genuinely want to root for. I didn't think the first two films were anything amazing -- the second one was probably better than the first -- but they were solid comic book adaptations (especially for their time; before every B, C, and D-list character had their own fucking three picture deal). So after seeing both those I figured I would go see the third movie with my bro. Here's the catch: me and him get drunk (not completely shitfaced or anything, but sufficiently drunk) before going. Not only that, but we smuggle in beers for during the movie. When we get there, the theater is totally packed to capacity. This wasn't opening night or anything. There were single seats sprinkled throughout, but hardly any pairs -- much less triples -- at all. Except for the first row.

So we're sitting there, watching this box office garbage in the first row, drinking our cans of beer and kinda making fun of the movie the whole time. And even when we weren't, we were bullshitting about other stuff and just generally not caring. At least I had a good time. HA.

But that isn't the story.

The thing ends and the credits come up and behind us the majority of the theater starts to applaud and actually cheer a little. We just couldn't believe it. We looked at each other completely baffled. I mean, it's a good 80% of the (packed to capacity) stadium-style theater cheering for this awful, awful movie. So I decide to stand up and turn around, wobbly and hazy and smelling like heavy beer and cigarettes and probably another substance. There I am, standing at the bottom of the screen in the dead center, the bottom most part of the projector hitting just the top half of my face. I don't know what came over me... but I just let out a really, REALLY loud "FUCK YOU" at the entire theater of movie goers. I mean, this was -- so far -- probably the best, most authoritative, most pitch-perfect timed "fuck you" of my entire life. And you wouldn't believe it if I told you, but the whole damn place gets quiet again. I swear. Not only do people stop clapping/cheering, they stop the post-movie conversations they're having, they stop everything. And they all just stare at me, and no one says anything back to me (which was shocking). So I look down at my brother, who's still sitting. He kinda shrugs, I kinda shrug, and we get up and leave. And everyone just sits there, in a "fuck you" induced silence, and watches the two of us leave the theater.

It wasn't til later that we realized how hilarious that actually was/is. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303698#Comment_303698 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303698#Comment_303698 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 11:56:53 -0700 Ananzitusq
I'm still unsure how to feel about The Informers though. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303721#Comment_303721 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303721#Comment_303721 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:54:04 -0700 imaginarypeople but i would put all other m night shyamalan movies on the worst movies list
also freddy got fingered was pretty awful ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303722#Comment_303722 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303722#Comment_303722 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:54:43 -0700 D.J. also freddy got fingered was pretty awful
/thread ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303723#Comment_303723 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303723#Comment_303723 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 16:11:09 -0700 animatormike Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303725#Comment_303725 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303725#Comment_303725 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 16:17:24 -0700 Internaut

The vid title says it all.

Gary Busey in MANEATER.

Honorable Mention to House of the Dead 2

Biggest let down for me?

The editing made it unwatchable and boring. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303726#Comment_303726 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303726#Comment_303726 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 16:47:01 -0700 Purple Wyrm A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinoasur Hell was heavily featured. We misheard nymphoid as nimboid and assumed it referred to one of the many wanna-be Schwarzeneggers featured in the footage they showed.

To this day I refer to any muscle-bound meathead I encounter as a Nimboid :) ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303727#Comment_303727 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303727#Comment_303727 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 16:49:21 -0700 StefanJ
How could I forget.

A few years back I went with my parents to a strip-mall discount cinema that had a foreign movie night. My parents are long-time movie buffs; my father taught film appreciation classes for many years. So we're not talking about rubes confused by subtitles and foreign ideas.

We saw Dancer in the Dark, starring Bjork as a single mom, working in a factory while slowly going blind. She gets framed for a murder; legal hijinks ensue.

It was so dreary, with murky cinematography and puzzling dance sequences, that we walked out. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303730#Comment_303730 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303730#Comment_303730 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 17:14:17 -0700 COOP Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303731#Comment_303731 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303731#Comment_303731 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 17:15:47 -0700 COOP Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303739#Comment_303739 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303739#Comment_303739 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 18:35:54 -0700 Soviet Rocket No. 9
And Quentin Tarantino's scripts have just sucked after Kill Bill.

Bonus: Saw it with my mom and grandparents. I'll never forget the look on my grandmother's face during the theater burning scene. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303742#Comment_303742 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303742#Comment_303742 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 18:51:38 -0700 Finagle Johnny Sunshine: Maximum Violence"

I actually sought this out based on reputation. I was not wrong.
There is not a single redeeming quality to this movie I could find. Not one.
Save, perhaps, as a warning to others.

]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303744#Comment_303744 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303744#Comment_303744 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 19:42:11 -0700 infomancer Crash so maligned here. It was like a two hour dead spot in my life. It's interesting that for a film that was ostensibly supposed to promote tolerance, it only left me with the feeling that there's a good reason to just hate everyone. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303745#Comment_303745 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303745#Comment_303745 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 19:42:36 -0700 MagicSword! Inland Empire, Southland Tales and In the Company of Wolves. Those are all great (to good) movies. I can understand why people don't like them, but I'm happy to defend them. Inland Empire especially, I loved it.

Has anyone seen Fire Ice and Dynamite? I'd say it's terrible, but I'm not sure that it's really a movie, more of a show reel of people sliding down mountains featuring Roger Moore. The parade of product placement and random C-list celebrities during the opening festivities scene left my jaw hanging open.

For me, I guess Matrix 3 would have to be up there? The action scenes in Matrix 2 were too long, but they were still the only things I enjoyed in it. By Matrix 3 I think there was just nothing at all that I enjoyed in that movie. In fact, I think I've enjoyed all of the Wachowski's pre and post Matrix stuff, so I feel like the Matrix movies are this black-hole of terrible sci-fi that made them a shit load of money, and let them publish some Geoff Darrow comics, and when they just try to make fun movies everything's ok.

Spider-Man 3, I KNOW is terrible. I can see that on so many levels it doesn't work, and yet I still really like it. It's a mess, but it's a fun, crazy mess that really reminded me of Sam Raimi's earlier movies much more than the first two Spider-Man movies. Those are great movies, but I think more endorphins got released into my brain watching number 3 than the first two. And both Topher Grace and James Franco are so fucking good in that movie and no-one ever mentions it.

But my number 1 worst movie, still, since I saw it is Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddie's Revenge. Because it's a terrible, terrible, movie, and because I already didn't like Nightmare on Elm Street 1 (I think it's incredibly influential, but I was really underwhelmed when I saw it), and this was exponentially worse. I think the NOES movies only get going around number 3, I know I enjoyed some of them. And it had this:

]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303750#Comment_303750 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303750#Comment_303750 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 20:39:48 -0700 Internaut Inglorious Basterds. I was promised two hours of Brad Pitt and company, killing Nazis for two hours, and instead I got a small story about a girl's revenge. Mostly I felt lied to by the marketing people.

Fucking THIS. I actually still managed to somewhat enjoy the movie, but was sorely disappointing by the severe lack of a motley crew Nazi hunters marauding around the German country side. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303755#Comment_303755 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303755#Comment_303755 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 22:11:58 -0700 James Cunningham Photobucket

This is my copy of The Cat in the Hat, the live-action version starring Mike Myers. It came in to the store I worked and cost $3, and despite knowing I'd hate it I bought it anyway just to see how badly they could rape the corpse of Dr Seuss.

I don't mind bad movies all that much. The Room was entertaining as hell for it's utter awfulness. I've seen all three Transformers abortions in the theater, although I have to admit to having a place that has $5 Tuesdays available. What does offend me is when Hollywood takes something I love and desecrates it. Until Cat in the Hat, I honestly thought my all-time least favorite movie would be Space Jam. It turns out Hollywood could in fact take a bigger, chunkier, runnier dump on a classic than they did on Loony Tunes. Failing that miserably to understand why this story was loved by so many people for so many years, and completely missing in every regard everything that makes Dr Seuss such a wonderful author, was simply amazing to behold in all the worst possible ways.

So, DVD goes on top of an empty bottle in the microwave and this was the result. The bastard earned it and worse. I enjoyed destroying it so much that I still have it kicking around in my room somewhere, as a warning for all my other movies to Be Good, Or Look What Happens. So far it seems to be working. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303761#Comment_303761 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303761#Comment_303761 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 01:44:22 -0700 D.J.
Shut up, Space Jam is the greatest movie of all time. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303765#Comment_303765 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303765#Comment_303765 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 02:42:11 -0700 James Cunningham Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303771#Comment_303771 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303771#Comment_303771 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 03:59:41 -0700 Soviet Rocket No. 9 Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303822#Comment_303822 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303822#Comment_303822 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 09:03:40 -0700 Neil Ofsteel Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303866#Comment_303866 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303866#Comment_303866 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 14:44:27 -0700 Foamhead

]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303875#Comment_303875 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303875#Comment_303875 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 16:10:11 -0700 government spy
Saw Basterds in the theatre, felt very much the same way.

Never before would I have thought a movie would make me yell, "Would you Please stop shooting Hitler?!?!" ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303877#Comment_303877 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303877#Comment_303877 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 16:59:35 -0700 Andrew_H
Girl Interrupted. Lord above this thing stinks. It gave me a life-long hatred of Angelina Jolie's performances, and she got a damn Oscar for basically being hysterical for 90 minutes. Winona was made of wood, the plot was stupid and the whole premise was ugly and unrealsitic to such a huge degree I wanted to eat my own vomit.

I'm farily tolerant of film and I'll watch things if they have one interesting effect in them, I am such a gore/horror nerd. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303882#Comment_303882 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303882#Comment_303882 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 17:36:18 -0700 RandomEntity Lost in Translation, man, a 2 year year old could count how many fucks I gave about anything that happened in that movie.
Being John Malkovich, EVERY character in that movie is an ass, do not care.
I have to agree with Basterds, I didn't get through it, there was too much yap yap, not enough kill kill.

I've learned to tolerate movies that I KNOW are completely worthless, like Transformers, and Transformers: Dark of the Moon. The second one is inexcusable though. Do they say anything important about society? No. Do they have wicked awesome 'splosions and amazingly technical special effects? FUCK YES WORTH WATCHING ALL OF IT. The scene with the Driller and the skyscraper took 288 hours PER FRAME to render. It deserves to be seen. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303886#Comment_303886 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303886#Comment_303886 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 18:11:43 -0700 256 Girl InterruptedHang on you guys, I think

Lost In Translation

wait, what

Being John Malkovich

now just a mi

Transformers: Dark of the Moon [...] WORTH WATCHING ALL OF IT

Fuck that, fuck you, fuck this thread. No. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303895#Comment_303895 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303895#Comment_303895 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 20:05:20 -0700 James Puckett The scene with the Driller and the skyscraper took 288 hours PER FRAME to render.

Black velvet Elvis paintings don't exactly appear overnight. Doesn't make them any less horrible. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303898#Comment_303898 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303898#Comment_303898 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 20:29:42 -0700 Finagle LiT, The opening shot of Scarlett Johansson's rear alone is worth the price of admission. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303903#Comment_303903 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303903#Comment_303903 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 22:10:41 -0700 D.Miranda
Otherwise, I'm only thinking of boring movies - the Crash of the Titans remake, for example; another example is SuckerPunch, which I stopped after half an hour because of utter ennui. This was a disappointment because I got easily seduced by the trailer. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303906#Comment_303906 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303906#Comment_303906 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 22:22:38 -0700 Val A Lindsay II
Title; Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection

The first movie was scary. Scary as Hell, in fact. What Ridley Scott and HR Giger did is still just phenomenal. The second movie was a great action movie with great visuals, characters and the typical James Cameron multi-cliffhanger plotline.

But the third and fourth movies? They seemed so trite, full of fluff and only created to turn a legacy into a franchise to milk. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303911#Comment_303911 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303911#Comment_303911 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 23:56:00 -0700 RenThing
While I don't think that Aliens 3 was really that great, it was still a sight better than the shite that was Resurrection. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303912#Comment_303912 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303912#Comment_303912 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 00:26:50 -0700 James Puckett Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303919#Comment_303919 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303919#Comment_303919 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 01:35:33 -0700 Alastair
titanic 2

pirates of the caribbean 4

johnny mnemonic

lawnmower man ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303922#Comment_303922 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303922#Comment_303922 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 02:06:35 -0700 The Brad
I know there are worse movies, obviously. But never have I been more infuriated than when I first experienced Lost Highway. For the record, I loved what I had seen of David Lynch's movies at the time, some of them more than others, i was 15 or so and trying to absorb movies one director at a time, so I was excited when I popped the VHS in.

Its a movie that seems to challenge you to stop paying attention, by getting you to pay such close attention to what the fuck is going on because its so easy to get lost and think 'am I missing something?', that you actually begin to wear your mental faculties to the bone and then just check out and say 'fuck this movie'. Abstract is painful to me when I feel it is one of two things: a crutch to cover up a lack of craft, or, even worse, when its absolutely soulless. Now I can't say for sure that Lost Highway is or isn't a passion project, but it feels like somebody just wasting my time. Somebody whose head is so far up their own ass that they forgot to tell me a story or bring me somewhere new. I tried watching it a few more times, when I was in my late teens and again in my twenties, i fell asleep both times, amazing considering how much provocative imagery is in the film that it could bore the living fuck out of me to the point of sedation. I hate it. Its crap. The acting is bland, the plot is incomprehensible, and I don't care about David Lynch's 'dream logic' or surreal nonsense unless I feel like he's got something to say or something to tell me. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303923#Comment_303923 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303923#Comment_303923 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 02:31:45 -0700 Horrible Warning Si
[sobwanks over oft-insulted DVD collection] ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303937#Comment_303937 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303937#Comment_303937 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 05:24:26 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303941#Comment_303941 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303941#Comment_303941 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 05:57:13 -0700 Beamish Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303944#Comment_303944 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303944#Comment_303944 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 06:36:03 -0700 government spy
Aren't you waiting to see The Darkening? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303950#Comment_303950 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303950#Comment_303950 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 08:34:15 -0700 RenThing Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303951#Comment_303951 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303951#Comment_303951 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 08:38:08 -0700 Davies0010 The Knowing starring Nick "Nick Cage Face" Cage

Circumstances for soulchunder revulstion, On a plane full of sleeping korean businessmen, this film made me openly and loudly proclaim: What the fuck is this shit?

If you missed it: Cage-face Cage finds a document in a time capsule full of numbers, which turn out to refer to lots of small American deathclusters such as train accidents, plane crashes, and investigates with his creepy kid. Then it turns out his creepy kid has been contacted by creepy looking psychic guys, who turn out to be angels here to take away a few children to start over again on a far away planet as everyone on Earth dies due to solar flares. Cageface throughout. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303952#Comment_303952 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303952#Comment_303952 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 08:59:08 -0700 DC Long story short, international program in Denmark with lots of foreign students, one of the social activities was going to the cinema to experience a 3D movie with THX sound quality. The purpose is to blow our minds with awesome 3D/sound quality movie experience, it’s (supposed to be) one of the best cinemas in the country.
First they tell us it’s either Kung Fu Panda 2 or Transformers 3, then it’s Pirates of the Caribbean 3D, then it’s Hanna. When we arrive it’s actually Bad Teacher, a romantic(?) comedy(??) with Cameron Diaz. She’s a bad teacher only interested in marrying for money. She starts to saving up money for a boob surgery through various scams. She learns that the teacher of the best class in the school gets a bonus in the end of the year and cons some guy to give her the national exams so her students get the best score. The best teacher in the school tries to expose her and gets a nervous breakdown due to some shit Diaz character does to her. In the end Diaz gets away with everything, doesn’t do the surgery and starts to date the gym teacher.

Moral of the story: eerr... be a bitch and everything will work fine for you?!
Also: THX sounded like the usual cinemas I go to? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303955#Comment_303955 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303955#Comment_303955 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 09:40:09 -0700 glukkake Holy fuck, you guys.
Every time a scene started up, my friends and I would make jokes about where it would go. Ridiculous things like "and then he wears the watermelon as a hat". and then they happened.

The first 5 minutes are amazing, then it drags on with impossibly long scenes of the characters staring at each other or into space. A man smokes a cigarette clenched in a foot (edit: someone else's foot). The ending is horribly disturbing unless you're like one IMDB reviewer who called it "the most beautiful thing you'll ever see" which made me want to vomit.

I don't know why, but I rarely watch movies these days and when I do they all keep resulting in having at least one scene in them that me and my friends sit through in extreme discomfort (see: I Spit On Your Grave, the original, which is possibly the number 1 contender for Worst. Movie. Ever.) ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303961#Comment_303961 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303961#Comment_303961 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 10:04:53 -0700 Will Ellwood
Cannibal Holocaust is wrong. That's all I can think it say about it. That it's just wrong. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303962#Comment_303962 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303962#Comment_303962 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 10:15:20 -0700 glukkake
Edit to add: Not that I think Tideland is anywhere near on the level of Salo or Cannibal Holocaust, it's just another movie that I remembered I own that squicks me out. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303964#Comment_303964 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303964#Comment_303964 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 10:46:54 -0700 ravnos
How about Man Bites Dog? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303966#Comment_303966 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303966#Comment_303966 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 11:03:49 -0700 RandomEntity
I second or third everyone's mention of Human Centipede. It was mostly just boring. It's a solid idea, but the execution was just a pile of meh. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303969#Comment_303969 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303969#Comment_303969 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 11:33:02 -0700 glukkake According to the past few movies I've seen & the internet, this is incredibly difficult. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303970#Comment_303970 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303970#Comment_303970 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 11:33:37 -0700 256 and 4. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303971#Comment_303971 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303971#Comment_303971 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 11:37:23 -0700 Cat Vincent
My contribution - Liquid Sky.
Circumstances - in the 80s, at the sadly-lost Scala Cinema Club. Probably on a double bill with something good.

So, these aliens come to Earth looking to score some smack. Somehow this results in a woman whose sexual partners vanish when the enter her vagina.
This, of course, means she's raped countless times, in order to hammer home a weak 3rd-wave feminist propaganda angle about Teh Evul Mens.
Around this are various layers of pretentious wankery, weak Repo Man riffs and a combination of garish colours and dodgy camera angles to make you feel, like, you're on bad drugs, man. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303976#Comment_303976 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303976#Comment_303976 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 12:15:50 -0700 RandomEntity
oh, and can we add Skyline to the list of film atrocities? holy shit. like, SHIT, WOW THAT FUCKING MOVIE. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303987#Comment_303987 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303987#Comment_303987 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 13:19:48 -0700 BrianMowrey Wayward Cloud is ok; boring but memorable ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303988#Comment_303988 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303988#Comment_303988 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 13:42:56 -0700 Alan Tyson there's not _a lot_ of rape.

True though that may be (and I admit I haven't seen the movie in question) but it seems like there isn't really a matter of degrees with this sort of thing - there's either rape or there's not, right?

@Cat Vincent: And The Crow! Don't forget The Crow!

...

Okay, I might be the only person to continue thinking The Crow is awesome after my 18th birthday. I can accept that about myself. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303989#Comment_303989 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303989#Comment_303989 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 13:51:37 -0700 James Puckett Also: THX sounded like the usual cinemas I go to?

THX is a remnant of run-down theaters of the 1980s and 1990s. The only real advantage to THX theaters today is that the walls are thick enough to block out the sound from the theater next door.

Not that I think Tideland is anywhere near on the level of Salo or Cannibal Holocaust…

And since someone brought up Salò, what a piece of shit. I watched the Criterion Collection release of Salò expecting to see a brilliant commentary on the depravity of Italian fascism. It turned out to be a despicable Italian exploitation flick that was incompetently executed in every possible way. The script was bad, the lighting was bad, the acting was atrocious, the original Italian overdubs don't always sync with the actors, and the editing was choppy. At least Cannibal Holocaust makes no pretensions about being anything but offensive trash. Salò masquerades as serious cinema just to victimize unsuspecting viewers. I question the sanity of any critic who can take Salò seriously, much less list it as one of the greatest films ever made. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303990#Comment_303990 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303990#Comment_303990 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 13:58:10 -0700 Will Couper
I saw 'Cannibal Ferox' and it was just laughable. Until it came to the gloating animal cruelty and then it was just unpleasant.

On that Italian exploitation note I bought 'The Grim Reaper' (an alternate title for 'The Anthropophagus Beast, can you tell that I was big on the video nasties when I was a kid?) on super cheap DVD some years ago. Another booooooring film that didn't even have the dubious interest of the extreme gore as it had all been edited out.

Will ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303992#Comment_303992 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303992#Comment_303992 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 14:07:55 -0700 razrangel THX-1138. Not a bad film, in my opinion. But is it a universal phenomenon that everyone falls asleep the first time trying to watch, and then stay awake through subsequent viewings? I mean, of course, those who decide to come back which ain't many. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303993#Comment_303993 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303993#Comment_303993 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 14:34:19 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303996#Comment_303996 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=303996#Comment_303996 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 14:46:15 -0700 glukkake
But should I come across Begotten & be in the mood, I'll give it a whirl if it's one of your favourites.

(edit to remove something that might be too snarky because I'm feeling ill & it's too damn hot today) ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304001#Comment_304001 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304001#Comment_304001 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 15:15:58 -0700 ravnos

Speaking of X-Files, the second X-Files movie? Billy Connolly was badass... the rest of the movie? Ow? That was painful... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304003#Comment_304003 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304003#Comment_304003 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 16:03:44 -0700 ragingpacifist
Circumstances: "Hey this looks like a good way for men to waste a few hours after drinking everything in sight"

Reason:This movie bored me back to sobriety. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304004#Comment_304004 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304004#Comment_304004 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 16:14:41 -0700 Lazarus99 Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304011#Comment_304011 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304011#Comment_304011 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 19:12:14 -0700 Finagle

"Let's watch this one, it's not got much rape in it.."
"But I don't like rape!"
"That's alright, honey, I'll have yours, I love it!"

I'm going to Hell. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304013#Comment_304013 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304013#Comment_304013 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 19:57:53 -0700 D.J. most rape. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304015#Comment_304015 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304015#Comment_304015 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 20:12:13 -0700 RandomEntity
Has anyone mentioned the Ang Lee Hulk film? Saw it at the $2 theatre, fell asleep not even 30 minutes into it, woke up to the CGI hulk fighting the Absorbing Man? that was also his dad? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304016#Comment_304016 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304016#Comment_304016 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 20:17:59 -0700 ragingpacifist
@DJ Stawes to answer your question "National Lampoon's:Sex Vacation" ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304019#Comment_304019 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304019#Comment_304019 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 20:54:29 -0700 Luke Fatal Deviation

Circumstances: Ireland's infamous (and only) kung fu movie was the stuff of legend. We tracked down an old VHS through friends of a friend and drank ourselves stupid. I imported the contagion to new friends in a new country, and even expert piss-artists/anticinemaphiles couldn't take it.

How bad is it? So bad I got paid to tell people how bad. It's an eight year-old's idea of awesome and instead of making imagination possible by the power of cinema, the single camera cruelly shatters every single illusion the star/writer/director clearly holds dear. To call it playground violence would disrespect children who genuinely hurt themselves. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304023#Comment_304023 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304023#Comment_304023 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 21:29:47 -0700 kozmund
Everyone else seems to have mercifully skipped New Rose Hotel, but I'll second and third you on that. I mean, I love nudity and all, but never have I been as insulted by it as in that movie. Also? The last act basically being Willem Defoe crawling in a sewer having flashbacks? What the fuck were they thinking. It's a sad commentary on this movie and The Gibson Curse that partway in, I was actually wishing that Keanu and Ice T would show up. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304024#Comment_304024 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304024#Comment_304024 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 21:49:02 -0700 glukkake
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304033#Comment_304033 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304033#Comment_304033 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 00:02:49 -0700 MartinSheen
The latest James Bond. Although I have never been the biggest James Bond film, I was entertained my Casino Royale. But the editing in QOS was just terrible and incoherent.

I mean, for example a car chase would be shot like this:

Shot of hand changing gear
shot of car skidding off cliff
shot of angry face
shot of cars skidding
and repeat...

in a manner that does not feel at all linked in anyway. The same goes for the fight scenes ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304043#Comment_304043 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304043#Comment_304043 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 05:21:00 -0700 offtandiscord
sex in the city.

reason: i'm a married man.

also, there was a UFC themed film that i sold some music to without realising how bad it would be called Never Surrender. I feel bad that i'm on imdb because of that attrocity...

urrrrrggh ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304073#Comment_304073 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304073#Comment_304073 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 13:31:56 -0700 Greasemonkey Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304077#Comment_304077 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304077#Comment_304077 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 14:09:37 -0700 The Brad
And the unnecessary 'origin' story? Also, Tim Burton's pompous claim of not really liking the original movie because of how far it strayed from the book, and then making a movie that strayed even FURTHER from said book, makes me want to throw him into a fucking wood chipper. The original had heart, was the perfect amount of creepy/inspired.

Its interesting how much Tim Burton used to be against the grain, a sort of fresh and interesting alternative version of pop-tainment. Now he IS the grain. Every choice he makes seems to be less and less inspired as time goes by. Much like Johnny Depp. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304078#Comment_304078 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304078#Comment_304078 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 14:23:04 -0700 tedcroland Ed Wood and Beetlejuice, but this decade has not been kind to his film catalog. Planet of the Apes, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, Alice In Wonderland...truly atrocious films. It's like he went "Well, I finally learned how to make a movie, now let's just make a bunch of really, really shitty ones." I don't get it.

As for Worst Movie, The Last Airbender gets my vote. I only saw it with Rifftrax enhancement, but my god was it painful anyway. The dialogue, the acting, the plot, everything about it is so atrociously awful I actually couldn't believe what I was watching. I have enjoyed MST3k movies more than that film. It's like a ropes course in what not to do in a film.

My favorite part is this expository dialogue where Aang (mispronounced the entire film) and his buddies are talking about what to do next, but the entire scene is cut back and forth of extreme, low angle close-ups of their faces with out a blocking shot for about two minutes. It made me physically uncomfortable to watch after about 30 seconds. Even the Rifftrax couldn't make that movie entertaining. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304079#Comment_304079 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304079#Comment_304079 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 14:35:09 -0700 Soviet Rocket No. 9 Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304080#Comment_304080 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304080#Comment_304080 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 14:58:16 -0700 DC Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304083#Comment_304083 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304083#Comment_304083 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 15:53:23 -0700 DistractDelude Speed 2 - Remember that one? No? You lucky Bastards!

Other than that... any Guy Ritchie mockney shite - the unfortunate result of someone reading a Kray twin biog, watching too much Eastenders and mistaking their resultant drunken ideas for feasible film plots

On a side note, the Crash everyone's talking about - I assume this is the Hollywood Crash and not the Cronenberg one, yes? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304087#Comment_304087 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304087#Comment_304087 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 16:18:56 -0700 razrangel Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304102#Comment_304102 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304102#Comment_304102 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 18:03:35 -0700 Alberto Circumstances: Suffice to say when I was a kid I thought this was the coolest thing ever.
Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Miles O'Keefe starring as the most improbable Conan spoof ever. A director known for his porn movies. Shot without a script. Hang gliding.

Title: "Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam"
Circumstances: Crazy visual arts students in a late night trash marathon.
Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Quite popular amongst Star Wars fans. There's no words to describe this one.

]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304112#Comment_304112 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304112#Comment_304112 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 20:13:20 -0700 Greasemonkey Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304116#Comment_304116 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304116#Comment_304116 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 21:12:21 -0700 Steerpike Gymkata is for people who haven't seen Never Too Young To Die.

Let's go to the (virtual) videotape:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvOvVtE4rgI

How about some more of Gene Simmons as Velvet Von Ragnar?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6GcM_lH_g8 ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304140#Comment_304140 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304140#Comment_304140 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 04:32:35 -0700 Will Couper

Will ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304145#Comment_304145 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304145#Comment_304145 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 06:23:27 -0700 curb Suffice to say when I was a kid I thought this was the coolest thing ever.

Yeah, I know that feeling. If any of you have treasured childhood memories of Spaceballs, do your best to keep them that way. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304172#Comment_304172 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304172#Comment_304172 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 13:48:17 -0700 longtimelurker Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304174#Comment_304174 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304174#Comment_304174 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:14:46 -0700 Greasemonkey Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304175#Comment_304175 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304175#Comment_304175 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:15:43 -0700 Alastair Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304176#Comment_304176 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304176#Comment_304176 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:20:29 -0700 government spy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vOQdCZmNEg&feature=player_embedded

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell–based on the shocking, ridiculous and hilarious real life adventures of Tucker Max–is the story of an impromptu bachelor party gone horribly awry thanks to a midget, a fat girl, a gaggle of strippers, an overly destructive public intoxication ordinance, and the consequence of Tucker’s unflinching narcissism.

This movie was suggested to me by a convicted meth dealer. God knows why I thought it would be a good idea. My girlfriend didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening, and I only watched maybe the first ten minutes.

The only thing redeeming about this film, is the fact that it was based on the book of some douchebag who collected all of his ridiculous stories into a book, and made a shitload of money off of it. That makes me think that I could do the same thing. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304177#Comment_304177 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304177#Comment_304177 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:30:24 -0700 imaginarypeople ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304179#Comment_304179 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304179#Comment_304179 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:41:08 -0700 imaginarypeople
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304180#Comment_304180 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304180#Comment_304180 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:44:00 -0700 imaginarypeople

my favorite part is when he cuts the guys arm off and hits him with it. and all with out a drop of blood ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304181#Comment_304181 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304181#Comment_304181 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 15:27:38 -0700 keyofsilence

Undefeatable.

But then again it was probably the most hilarious movie I've ever seen as well, so I just can't hate it.

YEAH. SEEEYA. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304187#Comment_304187 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304187#Comment_304187 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 17:24:54 -0700 Finagle
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304203#Comment_304203 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304203#Comment_304203 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 19:33:09 -0700 muse hick Circumstances: I wanted to go watch this because a certain girl was going.
Reasons For Soulchunder Revulsion: It has Sean Connery as a fucking dragon - which is unintentionally hilarious. David Thewlis being in this made me want to cry. Oh, and there was a bit with a really fucking loud boom on the soundtrack which made me empty a family bucket of popcorn on the girl.

Movie: The Happening
Circumstances: We paid for this to be streamed through the TV and sat there in disbelief. We sat through it expecting that maybe there would be a twist; something that save the film ... there wasn't.
Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Mark Wahlberg being as wooden as the trees; well, in fact more wooden, considering the trees and the grass were dangerous; john leguizamo's moustache; the many stupid deaths by tiger and lawnmower for instance; the awful fucking script.

Movie: Rocky and Bulwinkle - does the reason that this makes me want to disown Robert Deniro even have to be gone into? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304205#Comment_304205 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304205#Comment_304205 Mon, 01 Aug 2011 19:42:13 -0700 Maritza Campos
Japón.

It's a supposedly artsy-fartsy mexican movie. It's the most terrible thing ever. I kid you not: people left the theater in hordes, something that it's VERY rare in Mexico, where we mostly sit like good boys and girls even if we hate the movie and our standards, especially when it comes about mexican movies, is VERY low. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304259#Comment_304259 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304259#Comment_304259 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 11:34:09 -0700 Alan McMillian
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

I'm one of those people who believes that there was always a quality story in the Street Fighter games waiting to be told and have never been able to understand why it is so hard to get a coherent movie out of a game that is, for all intents and purposes, Enter the Dragon. So, I followed the lead up to this film with some excitement: supposedly a more serious tone, the director of Cradle 2 the Grave and Romeo must Die (goofy movies, but fun in the right ways) and a reasonably strong cast (Kristen Kruek, Neal McDonough, Michael Clarke Duncan) in roles that they actually fit.

Reason for Soul-Chundering revulsion: Putting aside the fact that for a fighting movie, the fight scenes were RIDICULOUS, the movie begins to fall apart right around the point where Robin Shou turns up. And then, just before they get into the backstory of Bison, the whole movie descends into logic-defying gibberish, and, finally, it ends (and bear in mind this is supposed to be the prequel to the Street Fighter story) with Bison getting killed and Nash surviving, totally giving the finger to the SF canon.

I've seen plenty of crap movies, even ones with talented crews and high production values. This is the only one I was personally offended by.

Honorable mentions:

Spiderman 3: for Raimi saying "screw plot, tone and coherence: I want to do a musical!"

Planet of the Apes (Tim Burton): for being boring up until the end, and having the ending be total Shark Bukkake.

and

Watchmen: which wasn't a bad movie so much as it was a wholesale conceptual failure. The entire premise of the movie hinges on the portrayal of Costumed Heroes as damaged human beings. That idea doesn't play if you portray your movie's characters as walking action figures. I'm of the opinion that Zack Snyder is typical of many a comics fan in that he was so enamoured with the appearance of a story that he neglected to understand what made the story work. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304274#Comment_304274 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304274#Comment_304274 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 13:42:29 -0700 sellmeyoursoul I'm of the opinion that Zack Snyder is typical of many a comics fan in that he was so enamoured with the appearance of a story that he neglected to understand what made the story work.

I assume you mean the kickass costume design, right? Right?

Also, I'm not saying I'd admit to it publicly or anything, but if I came across a link for it, I'd want to see what Shark Bukkake would look like. Wouldn't the water, um... wash things away? Do they leave the water somehow? The logistics alone make that worth a few minutes of my life. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304277#Comment_304277 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304277#Comment_304277 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 13:50:55 -0700 William Joseph Dunn Turkish Stars Wars on DVD. I'd rather watch that than the Star Wars Christmas special. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304280#Comment_304280 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304280#Comment_304280 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 14:29:31 -0700 RenThing
Which is worse, the Star Wars Christmas special, the Ewok Movie, or the Ewok Movie 2: Escape from Endor? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304283#Comment_304283 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304283#Comment_304283 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 14:44:36 -0700 RenThing Carnivore.

Carnivore came out shortly after Jurrassic Park in the way that many sub-B-rated, derivative horror movies will follow after a successful flick. Essentially, the government makes a dinosaur, sort of a Tyrannosaurus-sort-of-raptor-kind-of-thing. From what my hazy memory tells me, this thing's size changed shape regularly throughout the film, not for any real reason other than that the special effects guys kept fucking up (not unlike how the chief dragon in Reign of Fire changes shape several times). It was gory as fuck in the buckets of face blood variety, had horrible acting, and the special effects were shite. Thankfully I stopped it half way though but that's an hour of my life I won't get back. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304287#Comment_304287 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304287#Comment_304287 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 15:11:03 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304288#Comment_304288 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304288#Comment_304288 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 15:12:40 -0700 256 Essentially, the government makes a dinosaur, So much promise...

Also, I actually liked Blade 3. Well, bits of it. Mainly:
1) Some of the soundtrack (RZA samples The Velvet Underground? Yes.)
2) The bit where Blade/Brooks/Snipes shames the preppie vampire hunters.
3) "Blade. Ready to die?" "I was born ready, motherfucker."

Ok, pretty much just those bits. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304295#Comment_304295 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304295#Comment_304295 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:14:43 -0700 Cat Vincent shark genitalia, how the fuck do they work?
Short version - bukkake implausible.

Back on topic: I saw an awful lot of VHS shite in the 80s. Anyone else remember Deathstalker 2, for example? Roger Corman recycling bits of at least 2 previous fantasy 'epics' with an admittedly sly element of self-parody.

The one that just sprang to mind is The New Barbarians aka I nuovi barbari aka Warriors of the Wasteland?
Key plot point: very butch hero is captured and gang-raped by 'The Templars', at end of film gets his revenge, killing the Templar leader by ramming said Templar's car from behind with a driveable giant drill. Subtle, yes? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304297#Comment_304297 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304297#Comment_304297 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:20:32 -0700 William Joseph Dunn Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304300#Comment_304300 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304300#Comment_304300 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:27:00 -0700 Greasemonkey Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304301#Comment_304301 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304301#Comment_304301 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:29:00 -0700 RenThing
No, you're right, it was Carnosaur, and I don't know whether to thank you or hate you for correcting me because...oh god. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304325#Comment_304325 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304325#Comment_304325 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 19:46:49 -0700 Alan McMillian I'd want to see what Shark Bukkake would look like.

Shark Bukakke is from Warren, actually. I can't find a link to it, I think it was in an old Bad Signal, but he was talking about an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise. He said it's the next step beyond "jumping the shark," where (and I'm paraphrasing from memory here) "the shark gets out of the water dressed in an SS uniform and jerks off in Fonzie's face. And mine!"

Except in POTA, the shark was dressed as Abraham Lincoln.

And I'm gonna stop now before I derail the thread. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304334#Comment_304334 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304334#Comment_304334 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 21:31:59 -0700 Alan Tyson

(not unlike how the chief dragon in Reign of Fire changes shape several times)

And THANKS a whole lot for reminding me of THAT piece a' shit.

Okay, look. The central idea of the movie, that dragons have returned from a centuries-long hibernation and have managed to fuck the planet up... nothing wrong with that.

Well, alright, there's a LOT wrong with it. But it could make for a fun movie, right? I mean, dragons dueling fighter jets in the ashen skies above, human survivors hiding in meat lockers to hide from the dragons' infrared sight, a queen-bitch dragon taking up nesting in the New York Stock Exchange (y'know, cuz dragons like their hoards of gold), and in the end, the humans are driven down into the old caverns the dragons were sleeping in, leaving the surface to those nasty ancient wyrms... that could have all been a giant, sticky ball of popcorn-scented fun. No great work of cinema, but still.

Looks like it has the potential for fun, right?

No... no, they decided to have most of the movie be about a bunch of people hiding in a castle (why a castle? I mean, besides to have that oh-so-medieval feel to things) AFTER the dragons have already taken over the planet. So, essentially, AFTER the part where anyone in their right mind would actually want to watch the movie.

Oh, and then the randy Americans show up, with their tanks and bourbon and WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE HOW DID THEY GET OVER TO ENGLAND IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Also, you've got tanks and guns... why the FUCK, beardy angry American guy inexplicably played by universal heartthrob Matthew McConaughey, are you carrying around a fucking axe?

Well, Alan, probably for the same reason the Brits holed up in a castle. Because it makes the movie seem so veddy, veddy clever.

C'mon. Wouldn't you rather watch a movie that was nothing but 90 minutes straight of an RAF Harrier pilot in a dogfight with a dragon? Maybe that's just me, but somehow I don't think so. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304356#Comment_304356 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304356#Comment_304356 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 00:44:31 -0700 RenThing
And THANKS a whole lot for reminding me of THAT piece a' shit

I put forth the argument that the true point of this thread is to not suffer alone. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304357#Comment_304357 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304357#Comment_304357 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 00:45:21 -0700 Alan Tyson Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304358#Comment_304358 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304358#Comment_304358 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 01:35:31 -0700 Greasemonkey
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304365#Comment_304365 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304365#Comment_304365 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 02:57:33 -0700 keyofsilence
After reading/hearing good things about it, me and my girlfriend bought it for a quid from Cex. We got about 45 minutes in, didn't really know what was happening and didn't particularly give a fuck either, then switched it off. The dialogue was fucking useless/clunky, the plot and action were utterly nonsensical (yeah yeah it's about vampires it's fictional and somewhat nonsensical I can live with that, but needlessly driving your car along the side of a building just for a gratuitous "action" scene can get fucked) and I wondered if it was an opinion that existed only within me and my girlfriend. We actually bought Day Watch first, then realised that it was the second in the series and decided to wait until we'd seen Night Watch. So yeah we wasted money on a sequel that we're never going to watch. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304367#Comment_304367 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304367#Comment_304367 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 03:54:21 -0700 Will Ellwood Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304376#Comment_304376 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304376#Comment_304376 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 05:43:50 -0700 Lazarus99
I happen to like both, although I can see where you're coming from.
If you haven't already, please read the books. They are infinitely better. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304393#Comment_304393 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304393#Comment_304393 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 08:37:52 -0700 ravnos Oh man... the dragon movie. About dragons... with dragons. Did I mention dragons?
I only like that movie because of an 9 year on going inside joke.
About dragons... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304397#Comment_304397 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304397#Comment_304397 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 08:54:57 -0700 RenThing
Well, that's good, but I wasn't offended or angered! Go civil thread go!

You know what I'm surprised hasn't shown up here (unless I missed it)?

Anything by fucking Uwe Boll. I mean, Bloodrayne? I bet Ben Kingsley is punching himself in the nuts every time he remembers that he was in it; his only saving grace is that he didn't die immediately after making that movie like Raul Julia did with Street Fighter so that his ending legacy film was a steaming pile of dog turd. I don't know who spews more bullshit, Uwe Boll or Nickelback, but I'd be willing to open that discussion in another thread. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304398#Comment_304398 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304398#Comment_304398 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 09:32:06 -0700 lampcommander Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304399#Comment_304399 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304399#Comment_304399 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 09:36:10 -0700 Alan Tyson Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304400#Comment_304400 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304400#Comment_304400 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 09:55:45 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304408#Comment_304408 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304408#Comment_304408 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 10:40:21 -0700 Will Couper

Will ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304412#Comment_304412 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304412#Comment_304412 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 11:10:59 -0700 D.J.
"Yeah, I'm gonna make the worst possible movies out of video game franchises you like. Wanna stop me? Too bad, I'm funded by ze Germans. You got a problem with it then why don't you come and fight me, skinny white nerds?"

And then he literally boxed his critics. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304434#Comment_304434 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304434#Comment_304434 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:21:32 -0700 Teaflax a movie about the Holocaust. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304438#Comment_304438 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304438#Comment_304438 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:35:51 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304439#Comment_304439 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304439#Comment_304439 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:41:13 -0700 ravnos I think he's poisoned my brain meats. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304440#Comment_304440 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304440#Comment_304440 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:54:34 -0700 hmobius
Title: Jade
Circumstances of experience: Bizarrely, a press screening for student rags.
Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: A pre-CSI David Caruso still figuring out how to wear the sunglasses of doom. And act. This was also Linda Fiorentino's first notable film after The Last Seduction. Cue soul-crushing disappointment that Jade wasn't cool, clever, slick, dark, compelling or indeed anything else that TLS was. Even the poster was crap.

Title: Ninja Dragons (apparently also known as Magic Kid)
Circumstances of experience: Trip to video shop to hire Karate Kid. Wasn't in so got this instead. Looked similar
Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Blind hedgehogs in paper bags can act better. Small pieces of orange peel have more charisma. Don "The Dragon" Wilson, star of various bloodsport films commits an Arnie and tries a. acting b. being Mr Miyagi in a kids film. Even Stephen Furst (Flounder in Animal House) is just relentlessly awful.

I'd say I feel cleansed for getting that out now, but they're still in my head. Sadly. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304442#Comment_304442 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304442#Comment_304442 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:02:23 -0700 RenThing
Get drunk and watch them with some gamer friends. Argue about which clan the vampires are. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304445#Comment_304445 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304445#Comment_304445 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:16:06 -0700 Cat Vincent Jade was also the first film by Joe Eszterhaus after he got the 1st ever million-dollar script sale for Basic Instinct, I believe... and it was directed by William Fucking Friedkin... tragic.

Shall I open a wee can of worms? I genuinely think No Country For Old Men is one of the worst films I have ever seen. Any takers? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304447#Comment_304447 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304447#Comment_304447 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:24:14 -0700 hmobius Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304452#Comment_304452 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304452#Comment_304452 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:46:39 -0700 256
Re: No Country For Old Men - I wouldn't say I enjoyed it a great deal, but I don't think it's a bad film. It might be a bit slow... turgid... impressed with its own seriousness... But on the other hand, the acting was pretty good, the cinematography artful, and the story relatively daring (in Hollywood, at least).

Most of all, I appreciate it for being uncompromising - which might be what people don't like about it - because I'm tired as shit of films that are compromised into being nothing at all.

I dunno - what did you dislike about it? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304453#Comment_304453 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304453#Comment_304453 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:55:49 -0700 Cat Vincent Much of it looked pretty but I didn't believe a word of out of anyone's mouth at any time.

There Will Be Blood, in comparison, held me spellbound from start to finish. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304459#Comment_304459 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304459#Comment_304459 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 16:49:37 -0700 D.J.
I think that proves my point.

@Cat Vincent

I'm going to have to second There Will Be Blood... It's a fantastic piece of filmmaking. As for No Country for Old Men I don't understand how Javier Bardem got an Oscar for standing around and looking menacing. It's not that he did a bad job, it's that there was no complexity to the role. Chris Klein could have done it just as well. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304472#Comment_304472 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304472#Comment_304472 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 20:33:50 -0700 StefanJ There Will Be Blood is one of them. Amazing movie. But so damn brutal.

Likewise Children of Men. It includes some action shots that run seamlessly for minutes. And one of them includes what can only be called a moment of redemption for humanity* amidst such squalor, petty hatred and awfulness that had me wondering if mankind was better off dying out and leaving the planet to the cockroaches.

*

Soldiers on the stairs breaking down crying at the sight of the first baby born on Earth in 18 years, and the hard bitten officer instantly calling for a cease fire in a horrific war zone.

]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304475#Comment_304475 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304475#Comment_304475 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 20:42:54 -0700 allana Reign of Fire.
i'm gonna have to second/third/carry Inland Empire on this one. that said, i finally watched Logan's Run a few months ago and that got pretty brutal after the first twenty minutes.

i want some MST3K now. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304476#Comment_304476 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304476#Comment_304476 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 20:43:45 -0700 razrangel Pan's Labyrinth. Amazing, beautiful, heart-rending film that I just can't sit through again because the horrible bawlingweepingDOOM that settled on me in the theatre was embarrassing enough the first time. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304479#Comment_304479 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304479#Comment_304479 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 21:19:07 -0700 DavidLejeune Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304480#Comment_304480 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304480#Comment_304480 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 21:19:54 -0700 Purple Wyrm Deathstalker III - The Warriors from Hell is where it's at.

My favorite scene is right at the end where the rebels are attacking the castle and the same overhead shot of swordfighting is recycled three or four times. Right down in the corner of the screen one of the fighters is waving his sword back and forth through thin air. There's no-one within yards of him, but he just keeps on trying to take down the atmosphere itself!

On another subject, who can forget the Majesty of Kiss meet the Phantom of the Park?

Gene Simmons destroys a hot dog stand ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304484#Comment_304484 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304484#Comment_304484 Wed, 03 Aug 2011 22:07:23 -0700 Bankara "Passion Play" was so bad we actually had to turn it off. Mickey Rourke is a trumpet player on the run from the mob, Megan Fox is a freak show performer with wings like an angel. Bonus: Bill Murray is the gangster they are running from. So bad that I never even made it that far.
For the absolute worst thing I can think of I can only mention "Lizstomania." Roger Daltry plays Franz Lizst as the classical composer locked in a Heaven VS Hell battle with Wagner. Wagner is a nazi frankenstein monster at the end and Roger Daltry blows him up in a cathedral pipe organ spaceship. No fucking joke. I saw this in high school and was sick for days afterwards. Possibly the illness was unrelated but I don't think so. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304502#Comment_304502 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304502#Comment_304502 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 02:13:50 -0700 Alastair Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304515#Comment_304515 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304515#Comment_304515 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 04:50:35 -0700 DC
Am I alone on this? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304518#Comment_304518 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304518#Comment_304518 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 05:10:04 -0700 DC Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304552#Comment_304552 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304552#Comment_304552 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 12:27:08 -0700 mister hex
The "Star" : Howie Mandel.

I win. Trust me, THERE IS NOT ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THIS FILM, except that it might induce vomiting. It's like "Being There" only with Howie Mandel doing animal impersonations. Feel like suicide yet? I know I sure do. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304556#Comment_304556 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304556#Comment_304556 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 13:26:29 -0700 Alan Tyson Reign of Fire is unfairly maligned because it's a completely different movie than the marketing made it look like. It's a post-apocalyptic survival movie where the apocalypse happened to be FUCKING DRAGONS, and it was sold as ARMIES OF FUCKING DRAGONS DOGFIGHTING ATTACK HELICOPTERS OVER LONDON!

Which is pretty much why I didn't like it: The movie they made it look like would have been awesome!

BUT - your point about it not being what it was sold as is very true. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing how much of the movie I actively disliked, and how much of it I was just disappointed by because I was expecting something else.

That said, my point about Matthew McGodhe'spretty and his axe still stands - why, oh why?

For the absolute worst thing I can think of I can only mention "Lizstomania." Roger Daltry plays Franz Lizst as the classical composer locked in a Heaven VS Hell battle with Wagner. Wagner is a nazi frankenstein monster at the end and Roger Daltry blows him up in a cathedral pipe organ spaceship. No fucking joke. I saw this in high school and was sick for days afterwards. Possibly the illness was unrelated but I don't think so.

Again, that sounds like such a fucking awesome movie! I'll take your word for it that it's a piece of smeary drek, but it at least sounds like it'd make for a great drinking game movie. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304568#Comment_304568 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304568#Comment_304568 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 15:45:56 -0700 Cat Vincent Lizstomania is that it's the height of Ken Russell's madness, and is thus awesome in a very bad way indeed. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304575#Comment_304575 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304575#Comment_304575 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 16:34:48 -0700 The Brad Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304576#Comment_304576 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304576#Comment_304576 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 16:38:13 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304620#Comment_304620 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304620#Comment_304620 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 01:28:07 -0700 cardo Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304623#Comment_304623 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304623#Comment_304623 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 01:55:18 -0700 Lazarus99
Let's see...
Hulk Hogan
No Holds Barred
Suburban Commando
Mr Nanny
to name a few

The Rock
...too many to mention

Stone Cold Steve Austin
...see The Rock

Rowdy Roddy Piper
...see above (@cardo)

John Cena (met him the other day)
Marine
Legendary
...etc...

...and so on...

Except Goldberg. Hasn't been the star in anything (to my knowledge), but the in few things he has appeared, he's been okay. And funny as hell. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304625#Comment_304625 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304625#Comment_304625 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 01:59:56 -0700 D.J. They Live. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304628#Comment_304628 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304628#Comment_304628 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 02:13:14 -0700 cardo Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304629#Comment_304629 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304629#Comment_304629 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 02:34:32 -0700 Teaflax
In my professional life as a subtitler (mostly English to Swedish, but also the other direction), I have run across some staggeringly bad movies in my day. I once did a group of three The Room-quality films - in that they were obviously low-budget vanity projects that would never really be released and that are so obscure as to not even be mentioned on IMDB. Oh, how I wish I had saved those movie files. Most notable was a "comedy" which seemed to have been created by some guy who had decided that he could be Eddie Murphy and Robert Townsend in one. It just ended up playing out like a series of scatological show-and-tell sketches performed by homeless people, with the director/writer in various stereotypical roles such as pimp and about-to-be-raped prison inmate. I think it was called Pure, but I can find no info on it anywhere.

Another candidate for worst movie, and one where I would have loved to have saved the movie file was a Swedish film that ended up being called Fragments of an Unfinished Journey. This is one of the most pretentious yet entirely pointless films ever made. Excuse me while I go on a rant.

It's sort of a documentary, but with some fictional narrative sequences that make even the most pseudo-intellectual drivel look profound by comparison. The director, a young rising star in the Swedish film world with some praised short films and TV movies under his belt, decides to go to the Swedish film institute to have them fund a project he's thought up; take two camper cars, two movie cameras and a skeleton crew through Europe, shooting as they go on a film that they will also write as they go. Oh, this just can't go wrong in any way.

So the documentary about this (utterly failed) project is then intercut with what little they actually managed to film (mostly people walking about or sitting in bars with helpful voice-overs on the meaning of life) and some pretty wooden reconstructions of the director's brother trying to to produce the film from Sweden that have obviously been added later.

The crew, the director and the actors fight, argue, do drugs and spout nonsense through Copenhagen, Berlin and Amsterdam for over an hour until they reach Barcelona. They shoot some scenes of the protagonist (the director's other brother) staggering through that city's medieval quarter at night. Then they decide "Hey, let's shoot at La Sagrada Familia at dawn, man, that's going to be epic!".

At this point, the camera fails, so the attempt at shooting outside Gaudís legendary cathedral, with two exhausted, drug-addled brothers embracing in the pale morning sun, ends up being told through black and white stills and a voice-over interview clip with the sound guy, who has the balls to say "When the camera failed, that's when I knew this movie was finally a real movie". You know what? No.

Like I said, I really wish I had this film to share with the world as The Most Pretentious Drivel Ever Shot.

For Big Hollywood Worst Film, my nomination is Braveheart. I cannot believe that a film so pointlessly brutal and unsatisfying in every creative aspect was so well-received. Otherwise, Quantum of Solace and the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie are films that I couldn't even watch more than halfway, but they're also pretty universally panned, I think.

As for low-budget MST3K-worthy fare, my nomination goes to R.O.T.O.R, a 1988 Robocop ripoff that manages to do everything poorly, not least the lead character's name (Captain Coldyron) and his inexplicably dubbed voice.

Someone has been kind enough to put all of it up on Youtube. R.O.T.O.R Part 1 of 9. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304635#Comment_304635 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304635#Comment_304635 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 03:55:18 -0700 Cat Vincent Hell Comes To Frogtown. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304649#Comment_304649 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304649#Comment_304649 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 04:19:26 -0700 Lazarus99
HP Lovecraft's From Beyond

Awesomely bad.
Jeffrey Combs.
Sucking out Pituitary(?) glands (the one at the front of the brain) through the eyesockets.

"IT ATE HIS HEEEAADDD!!!!!" ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304699#Comment_304699 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304699#Comment_304699 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 07:03:50 -0700 miscellanea
Title: Prometheus (Tony Harrison, 1998) (reviews: 1, 2)

Circumstances of experience: Lived in the north of England near an arty cinema that I was close to living in and was drawn in by the potential of an interesting film experience. Not even the fact that you could bring beer into the theater could make this enjoyable, though.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Achingly slow. Miners get smelt into a huge golden statue of Prometheus, which then tours around Europe, including Auschwitz, followed by an actual damn Greek chorus on a barge and made up of women in tinsel wigs. Did I mention the whole thing is in rhyming verse? Honestly, Harrison's words are sometimes wondrous (the scathing Walter Sparrow as the smoker in the cinema has some fine moments), but it doesn't even begin to make up for this. According to IMDB, the film is 130 minutes long, but I would have guessed it was at least twice that. If you thought Crash beat you over the head with its message, this thing is like a 40-foot-tall statue hitting you over the head with the theme of how we use our advances in civilization in the worst dehumanizing ways. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304749#Comment_304749 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304749#Comment_304749 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 10:14:50 -0700 lampcommander
I also own another Roddy Piper movie, Sci-Fighters. What a clever title!

So, so, sooooooo bad. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304840#Comment_304840 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304840#Comment_304840 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:45:21 -0700 mister hex
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsZpdUUdd3I

EITHER PUT ON THESE GLASSES OR START EATING THAT TRASHCAN. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304863#Comment_304863 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304863#Comment_304863 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 15:47:22 -0700 The Brad
But the most egregious example of bloated period-epic to win Best Picture? Dances With Wolves. What. The. Fuck. Over Goodfellas, no less. Dances with wolves is absolutely painful to watch.

P.S. A cursory glance of its Wikipedia entry and I now know that I need to see Hell Comes To Frogtown, fucking STAT. Three sequels? God where have I been? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304924#Comment_304924 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304924#Comment_304924 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 21:38:21 -0700 James Puckett Dances with wolves is absolutely painful to watch.

Now, I'm not saying anyone should have ever thought Dances With Wolves was better than Goodfellas. But at the time it worked a lot better than it does now. Costner had yet to make all those embarrassing choices that turned his career into a joke. Robot buffaloes seemed amazing before Terminator 2 had blown our minds. Those great 1990s British ensemble films had not yet shown us how much better the Brits are at period films. Hollywood had not churned out a string of terrible plagiarisms in hopes of getting Oscars into the hands of douchebags like Tom Cruise. And just look at all the other shit that came out in 1990. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304938#Comment_304938 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=304938#Comment_304938 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 22:44:44 -0700 fallenkitsune My aunt popped the movie in as i was doing dishes in the same room. Shes obsessed.
Sparkily vampires. Honestly vampires are not supposed to sparkle. The lack of acting skills and bad plot also played a role but i could not watch more than 20 minutes of the movie before walking out. Interview with the Vampire and Blade must have spoiled me, where the hell did the sexy badass vampires go?! ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305014#Comment_305014 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305014#Comment_305014 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 12:54:27 -0700 Rootfireember -Dude. I dare you to watch the twilight film with the werewolves in it. I laughed my ass off. They look like giant stuffed animals and the characters are all "OH DEAR ITS A SCARY WEREWOLF". Childhoodplushietrauma??
:D yes the movies are utterly horrible. But funny very funny. For all the wrong reasons. haha. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305057#Comment_305057 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305057#Comment_305057 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 20:40:35 -0700 Brendan McGinley Take your pick, apparently. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305059#Comment_305059 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305059#Comment_305059 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 20:50:15 -0700 lgenius Battlefield Earth is even hard to watch as a Rifftrax. It is so bad making fun of it is boring. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305063#Comment_305063 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305063#Comment_305063 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 22:20:32 -0700 Fishelle Twilight

:D yes the movies are utterly horrible. But funny very funny. For all the wrong reasons. haha.

Did you know that the next one (and, thank heaven, the last one) has the main werewolf fall in love with the main girl's baby? That's pretty amazing stuff right there. I haven't seen all of them, but was dragged by family to see 2 of them in the theater. They are pretty horrible, for sure. Everyone around me was annoyed because I couldn't stop laughing.

Also, regarding Braveheart, YES. Watched that once, and would never recommend it to anyone. And he didn't even kill anyone with that flag. What a waste. I felt bad because I found it so laughable, and had trouble hiding it from my friend who was watching it with me and said it was his favorite film. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305068#Comment_305068 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305068#Comment_305068 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 23:52:36 -0700 Rootfireember But then again it lead to me musing on how the fur trade would have differed if you had people hunting sparklevamps...

Braveheart- I liked it when it came out. And haven't really seen it again. Totally not really historical but *shrugs* Mel Gibson can do crazy.

I did fall alseep at a friend's house while watching that Alexander the great movie when it came out on dvd, however. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305074#Comment_305074 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305074#Comment_305074 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 00:28:37 -0700 RenThing Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305076#Comment_305076 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305076#Comment_305076 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 00:41:02 -0700 D.J. Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305088#Comment_305088 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305088#Comment_305088 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 04:52:44 -0700 Teaflax Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305103#Comment_305103 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305103#Comment_305103 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 07:31:57 -0700 ravnos My question is how can you know THAT little about vampire to make them into.... that... thing...

Also she admitted it all came to her in a sexually-related dream.

So Twilight is her supernatural wet dream.
Pretty pathetic. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305116#Comment_305116 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305116#Comment_305116 Sun, 07 Aug 2011 10:41:01 -0700 DC
The Troy movie from 2004. Another movie I caught on tv and can't remember if I finished watching it or gave up. The only thing I remember is it was boring. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305437#Comment_305437 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305437#Comment_305437 Tue, 09 Aug 2011 09:52:12 -0700 Ltalbotwolf Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305526#Comment_305526 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305526#Comment_305526 Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:38:24 -0700 Chris Blakeley
"Does ANYBODY have a line?!" ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305527#Comment_305527 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305527#Comment_305527 Tue, 09 Aug 2011 21:22:39 -0700 BrianMowrey So Twilight is her supernatural wet dream.
Pretty pathetic.
...

I want to see if they have the balls to do everything that's on the books the werewolf doing the c-section with his teeth, the falling in love with the newborn baby that has telepathic powers and a mind of an adult and so many other batshit insane stuff I've heard that I can't remember right now. If they really do it, maybe people will wake up and realize how that whole series has weird ideas and purposes.

Well, now the whole series sounds awesome ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305532#Comment_305532 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305532#Comment_305532 Tue, 09 Aug 2011 22:48:11 -0700 khamsin Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305572#Comment_305572 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305572#Comment_305572 Wed, 10 Aug 2011 07:03:32 -0700 Timbo
Ends with a plasticine montage.....set to an Oasis tune...fucking terrible.

Inexplicably, I kept stopping myself from walking out at several points.

I don't mind cheaply made bad movies as much as big budget bobbins like Troy and numerous others mentioned before.

Actually, Eyes Wide Shut(shit) deserves a mention here.

Even plentiful scenes of nudity and cavorting were not enough to stop my younger self from dry heaving all the way through at this piece of shit. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305573#Comment_305573 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305573#Comment_305573 Wed, 10 Aug 2011 07:20:15 -0700 Timbo
It was a dating thing...no excuse really. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305580#Comment_305580 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305580#Comment_305580 Wed, 10 Aug 2011 07:52:43 -0700 DC Well, now the whole series sounds awesome It's just the last book. Even the fans think the last one is kind of weird and crazy. Since they won't dare to do a R-Rated movie I'm curious to see what they will resort to on these scenes. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305585#Comment_305585 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=305585#Comment_305585 Wed, 10 Aug 2011 08:18:01 -0700 RenThing
There's a lot you can do with a PG-13 rating these days. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306348#Comment_306348 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306348#Comment_306348 Mon, 15 Aug 2011 22:11:11 -0700 Internaut
Did you know that the next one (and, thank heaven, the last one) has the main werewolf fall in love with the main girl's baby? That's pretty amazing stuff right there. I haven't seen all of them, but was dragged by family to see 2 of them in the theater. They are pretty horrible, for sure. Everyone around me was annoyed because I couldn't stop laughing.

Also, apparently the main sparkly nancy vampire eats the baby abomination STRAIGHT OUT OF HER WOMB. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306368#Comment_306368 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306368#Comment_306368 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 02:03:52 -0700 apefist
Alien invasion of Los Angeles - interesting looking tentacled alien robots. What could go wrong? Another ID4? V? Falling Skies?

OK, it's bad enough that the movie was about hiding in a luxury highrise from robot aliens. Hiding. Not fighting, not escaping, not even capitulating. But hiding. The cast includes Donald Faison, the funny black guy from Scrubs, David Zayas-the horribly used and badly written Hispanic detective from Dexter, Eric Balfour as the pouting artist, Scottie Thompson as pouting artist's pregnant girlfriend and some other forgettable people. After the hiding, there is eventually a confrontation or the aliens catch and kill everyone or something.

This next stuff all takes place in like the last 5 minutes: Anyway, the girlfriend is spared being eaten or mutated into an alien, for she is withchild, but pouting artist is not so fortunate. His brain is sucked out and put into an awaiting...shell? Golem? slug template? Larva tentacle maggot looking thing, and upset at being an alien in a world of goo and he rampages a bit. But his brain is orange, unlike all the other docile blue ones, so apparently pouting artist is able to be himself in his new gooey shell. Pregnant GF is slapped into a different chamber full of other pregnant women and is covered with rape and scrape tentacles ready to proceed to the unspeakable horror every expectant mother looks forward to. Pouting alien bursts in and saves her from the rape tentacles, touches her stomach, and we hear a heartbeat. he tenderly strokes her face with his new, three fingered tentacle-paw. Preggers recognizes it's pouting artist baby-daddy, and he rises up triumphantly, standing guard over his baby-mama. He picks her up and holds her as more alien tentacles converge on him. Then we get a slideshow of them running away into the ship's labyrinth honeycomb hideout. I shit you not.

Worst. Movie. Ever. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306432#Comment_306432 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306432#Comment_306432 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 13:29:11 -0700 William Joseph Dunn "There's a lot you can do with a PG-13 rating these days."

I agree. "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" was PG - 13 and I thought it was the best popcorn movie of the summer. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306441#Comment_306441 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306441#Comment_306441 Tue, 16 Aug 2011 14:40:11 -0700 RenThing
List of "horror" movies that have PG-13 ratings.

1408 was PG13? Huh. That has to be my favorite Stephen King horror adaptation (Shawshank Redemption is my favorite adaptation ever).

However, I think PG13 ratings does ruin some movies. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306563#Comment_306563 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306563#Comment_306563 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:58:33 -0700 KPatrickGlover
If the only thing that keeps your film from sucking is the word fuck, guess what? Your film still sucks.

Very, very, very few films actually need to be made with an R rating to make them good. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306566#Comment_306566 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306566#Comment_306566 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:05:25 -0700 Beamish Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306567#Comment_306567 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306567#Comment_306567 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:05:57 -0700 RenThing
I agree, to a point based on genre. For instance, horror. Several horror movies, which are escaping at the moment unfortunately, have received poor reviews because they were edited to fit a PG-13 rating in an attempt to appeal to a larger audience where as the director's cuts, which would've been given an R rating, are more favorably reviewed. Del Torro, with his upcoming Don't be Afraid of the Dark and his proposed adaptation of "At the Mountains of Madness", has said that in order to realize his script as he wants to he has to have the R-rating, otherwise he feels he might be forced to produce a watered-down version of what he wants. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306568#Comment_306568 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306568#Comment_306568 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:17:10 -0700 Beamish Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306577#Comment_306577 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306577#Comment_306577 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:17:16 -0700 Soviet Rocket No. 9 Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306595#Comment_306595 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306595#Comment_306595 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:03:36 -0700 RandomEntity I think what has happened is that PG-13 IS the new R and R is the new NC17/X rating. They're allowing more into PG-13 movies these days, including more cussing, way more sexual innuendo and drug references. Not to sound like an old man, but it's kind of scary. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306596#Comment_306596 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306596#Comment_306596 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:06:16 -0700 Alan Tyson Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306605#Comment_306605 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306605#Comment_306605 Wed, 17 Aug 2011 22:41:41 -0700 RenThing
That's not what I heard at all. I heard that he did a pre-treatment, showed it to the movie execs and they loved it (supposedly one of the execs, unnamed of course, said it was one of the best pieces of cinema he's seen ever) but he wanted an R-rating AND $150 million. They were willing to give him the go for the movie on half that budget and a PG-13 rating (in theory because it would appeal to wider audiences who will go see a PG-13 movie but not an R one), he said no. So, partially the rating and partially the money. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306690#Comment_306690 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306690#Comment_306690 Thu, 18 Aug 2011 17:23:56 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306693#Comment_306693 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306693#Comment_306693 Thu, 18 Aug 2011 17:36:18 -0700 RenThing Here's a link to io9.com discussing the end of his last attempt at the movie. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306759#Comment_306759 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306759#Comment_306759 Fri, 19 Aug 2011 05:18:06 -0700 curb Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306850#Comment_306850 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306850#Comment_306850 Fri, 19 Aug 2011 16:52:37 -0700 Emperor
Circumstances of experience: A friend was so appalled by it he sneaked around to mine, stuffed the DVD through the letterbox and scampered down the street like a man who'd got a doubly-incontinent elephant off his back. I am biding my time, but will destroy him for this.

Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: I think the moment my brain tried to throw-up in my skull was when Venice started collapsing like dominoes. The only up-side is that I can guarantee Alan Moore has never seen it or he'd turn Don Murphy's most private parts to coal, if he hasn't done it already on principle. I burnt the DVD in case I tried to pass it on to some other unsuspecting soul in a manner that would rapidly start to resemble a Japanese horror movie. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306878#Comment_306878 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306878#Comment_306878 Fri, 19 Aug 2011 22:08:59 -0700 Lazarus99 Your Highness.
James Franco
Zooey Deschanel
Natalie Portman
Charles fucking Dance

Still trying to work out if it's that crap on purpose... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306907#Comment_306907 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306907#Comment_306907 Sat, 20 Aug 2011 07:13:14 -0700 ravnos I think it was crap on purpose. I keep going back and forth on whether I want to watch that movie... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306913#Comment_306913 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=306913#Comment_306913 Sat, 20 Aug 2011 08:37:52 -0700 Paul Sizer
Is it possible to die and still look like you're watching a movie and walking home afterwards?

It may not have been a "WORST EVER" movie, but it was jumbled as hell and was another instance of a white person swooping in to save black people, then getting the job in NYC while the black people still live shitty lives. There may have been an interesting story in there, but less time was spent showing the unrest of the times than making sure I understood "The mean white housewife is eating a poop pie made by the black housekeeper". Yeah, I got it, can we actually show the lives of the black families who this story is supposed to be about? It's not because it was a "chick flick", it was just a badly told flick.

I kept hearing explosions from the theatre next store and wishing I was there... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307030#Comment_307030 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307030#Comment_307030 Sun, 21 Aug 2011 23:12:28 -0700 HOT_RIGHTEOUS_DEATH
To my eternal embarrassment I'll cop to watching Twilight: Eclipse. I also watched the first two Twilight films, and didn't think they were uproariously bad, but not very good either. However I read this was the best of the films so far so I had at least a bit of hope. Oops. I do love the fact that in this world vampires not only sparkle in sunlight, but they break like glass when hit hard enough.

Simply nothing redeeming about this film. The best thing about sitting through that garbage is that I'm not even remotely interested in seeing the next installment. The worst is that I was ever interested in this garbage to begin with. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307092#Comment_307092 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307092#Comment_307092 Mon, 22 Aug 2011 09:36:06 -0700 Alan Tyson Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307099#Comment_307099 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307099#Comment_307099 Mon, 22 Aug 2011 10:34:57 -0700 DistractDelude Title: Smokin' Aces
CE: Finally watched borrowed DVD just so the evilness could leave my shelf.
R(s)fSR:

1.The first hour. All exposition, clumsily handled, badly paced.
2. Bad stereotypes - Tremor Brothers and "Team Georgia" are the worst offenders by far.
3. Dialogue. Specifically, any dialogue between members of "Team Georgia". Very bad/good example of someone learning how African-Americans' speak solely through the mediums of bad (50 cent bad) rap albums and Quentin Tarantino movies.
4. The fact that there was a smart film in there just waiting to break out, but some idiot decided to try and cram it in to a (very) bloody action movie/gun-porn body-suit that never quite fit with the main plot.
5. The ending. Everything is explained, but the final action of the film isn't justified well enough.

In summary: This is two films in one. If they had focused it solely on the gun-porn element touted so loudly in the trailers, this could have been a fantastic and forgettable action blockbuster on a grand scale. On the other hand, if they had toned down the cartoon nature of the violence and focused on a smaller, character driven cast, this could have been an intense thriller. Ultimately, I think it failed to appeal properly to either fan base. The pure action fans I know would probably have fallen asleep before the action actually kicked off. The thriller fans I know all thought it was a pure action flick, because that's the way it was marketed. A missed opportunity for both genres and almost two hours of my life I will never, ever get back. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307123#Comment_307123 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307123#Comment_307123 Mon, 22 Aug 2011 13:23:20 -0700 RenThing
I can't agree with you more. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307177#Comment_307177 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307177#Comment_307177 Mon, 22 Aug 2011 22:08:49 -0700 D.J.
So, the movie starts off with James Bond being as wooden as possible because that is what all them movie type cowboys do, right? All he does the whole movie is stand there being wooden, except for when he springs to life to threaten or fight something. It's like Jon Favreau just watched a Clint Eastwood marathon and thought, yeah, that's cool, but how about instead of being Clint Eastwood, we take that and strip him of any semblance of personality, because being as stoic as possible is what makes Blondie so great. Anyway, Statue McThroaty (his throat is the most animated part of him, I swear) wakes up in the middle of nowhere right as some, uh... I would like to say their bandits, but it seems like they're just kind of dicks. So three dicks ride up on Daniel, point a gun at him and figure they'll take him into town to see if there's a bounty on his head. But Mr. Bond has amnesia, which leads to him figuring that he should just be safe and kill them all. Then he takes a horse and a dog and wanders into town anyway.

Upon arriving in the town, there is no one anywhere in sight. By the way, Bond has had a gut wound this whole time, and he decides now would be a good time to check that out, so he goes into a house nearby to clean himself up and whatnot. Then a preacher who must have been in the house the whole time decides to pop out, after Bond has rummaged about his place and rinsed his face with water, to point a gun at him and then decide with literally no sort of convincing he's ought to stitch up his wound. I would like to point out that he has this stitched up wound this whole movie and there is no reason whatsoever that it doesn't just tear open and slowly kill him about half an hour in. Okay, so he's stitched up. We hear gunshots outside. They go to investigate.

All of a sudden there are TONS OF PEOPLE in the town. Where were they ten minutes ago? I have no fucking clue, because while this isn't a particularly large town, it is clearly active enough to not be a deserted. Let's move things along a bit now. Paul Dano starts being a huge douchebag because his dad owns the town, Bond knees him in the groin, Dano freaks out and randomly shoots a deputy in the shoulder. Jail time for Dano, but then Bond get thrown in with him because it turns out he DID have a bounty on his head after all! Whoops.

Maybe I'll get back and explain the rest of this terrible film later, but here's one thing that really irked me: What is the deal with the aliens? Nothing about them is explained. They're here for gold? Harrison Ford makes a joke about it, end of discussion. They're immune to bullets? Oh, wait. Now they're dieing from bullets. No, now they're immune to them again. Spears work fine for some reason? They just clubbed one on the back of the head and it knocked it out? Bullets still aren't really working? One of their wristband gun things can blow up their entire ship for some reason? They like to hug little kids? What is that little kid doing there? Why are they abducting people? Why is anything anything?

I could go on. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307207#Comment_307207 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307207#Comment_307207 Tue, 23 Aug 2011 01:15:19 -0700 Lazarus99 absolutely dumbfounded by how bad it was

Really? You were expecting more? Keeping in mind that stupid doesn't necessarily mean unfun? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307223#Comment_307223 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307223#Comment_307223 Tue, 23 Aug 2011 03:27:58 -0700 flecky Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307292#Comment_307292 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307292#Comment_307292 Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:20:18 -0700 D.J.
I didn't really get to the point of touching on how bland and all over the place it was, but yes. I was expecting a somewhat enjoyable action flick. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307294#Comment_307294 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307294#Comment_307294 Tue, 23 Aug 2011 15:53:01 -0700 twentythoughts
Circumstance: While vacationing in the US, US friends who were really nostalgic for Warner Bros. toons wanted to watch the new 3D Wile E. Coyote thing that played beforehand. Somehow we ended up also watching the movie.

Reasons for soulchunder all over the theatre: We already know that the current trend of making kids' movies with real animals with CGI-animated talking mouths is the work of Tobias Funke, analrapist. Take this and put it into a horribly done forced-3D (with downright broken 3D in places) movie with no soul. NO SOUL! And also stuff it to the brim with awful and constant "LOL DOGS AND CATS" puns that make the visual "look at this thing that we turned into a car" jokes in the Cars movies feel like deep and intricate Victorian-era plots between kings and their thousand named subjects. It makes fluttering bird-cars feel like freaking Game of Thrones. And there are fart jokes OF COURSE there are fart jokes. And they use awfully done puppets when they don't feel like animating a cat even though it breaks with the visuals of the movie even more than a CGI cat would among all these real animals dressed in CGI effects. It's a Lowest Common Denominator kids' movie at its very worst. I almost felt like watching "Up" just to clean my brain of the dumb afterwards.

It's sad that this is probably the best part of the movie. The weird white cat-puppet has some mildly amusing lines that are immediately ruined by the other characters going "WHOA LIKE WHAT?"
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307330#Comment_307330 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307330#Comment_307330 Wed, 24 Aug 2011 01:09:37 -0700 Lazarus99
So, not fun in any way then? Dammmit! ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307904#Comment_307904 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=307904#Comment_307904 Tue, 30 Aug 2011 11:33:50 -0700 RenThing Max Payne or Skyline levels of bad but Conan the Barbarian.

I will now provide you a short list of things in this movie that made no sense:
1. Conan's father's inexplicable gynecological knowledge that allows him to perform an emergency c-section on his mortally wounded wife, one-handed, with a dagger, without looking, and without stabbing his newborn son.
2. How ancient necromancers made a Cthulhu-fetish mask out of normal human bones. Seriously, it looked like they skinned an octopus' lower half (and kept the anus, if octopi have anuses) and turned it into a mask. That's supposed to be human bone? Really?
3. Slaver-seeking boulders. Conan's men free some slaves by dropping a bunch of boulders onto a slave camp and, MIRACULOUSLY, no slaves are crushed beneath hundreds of pounds of rolling, rocky death.
4. Conan is made of sex-inducing muscles so that even though he and his men just dropped a couple tons of rocks onto some slavers and stabbed the rest who weren't squished, the women who were hanging out in cages getting oggled at and whipped totally want to jump his bones RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
5. The landboat or, as my friend Amy put it, the MOBILE OPPRESSION PALACE (which is such a better name). I kid you not this is a boat, complete with masts, rigging, prow, and crows nest, only on land, on the backs of elephants, led by slaves. WHY?! Why is there a landboat? The landboat doesn't even do anything except accept trebuchet shot and crash through an archway Zym's soldiers were easily able to ride under. There's no point! And there's one scene where the boat is on the ground and the elephants are milling about at night. How the hell do they get it off and on the elephants? Gah!
6. Ruins. Ruins everywhere. Wherever there needs to be a scene there's ruins. Ruins with chains to hit horses with. Ruins with stacks and stacks of leaky oil amphorae to be lit on fire. Easily destroyed ruins to use for unknown reasons for human sacrifice. Hyborea is nothing but one big ruin.
7. Conan, Tamara, and his friend the captain are sailing on completely open water in one scene, not a spec of dirt in sight, and in the very next they're right near land to make it more plausable when they are attacked by two dinghies worth of bad guys. Because a boat teleporting miles over becalmed waters to be near land is SO much more believable than the bad guys rowing through the open sea without being spotted and catching up to a three-masted ship. Riiiiight.
8. How Conan leaves the boat on a rocky, wind-swept, craggy cliff to be chased down by Tamara for the sex. And the sex takes place in an unexplainable stone house beneath a cliff. Who would build a house there? How did Conan know about the house? How are there piles and piles of fresh hay for them to bang on in what essentially looks like the Grand Canyon? Why, after the sex, is Tamara then walking through a forest that looks suspiciously like the Moon of Endor to be captured by Zym's soldiers who magically knew right where to get her?
9. A thief has the keys to Zym's city and knows all the secret entrances. He doesn't pick the locks, oh no, he has a ring of keys to every lock in the sewer. AND YET HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE TENTACLE SEWER SARLACC.
10. Speaking of which, the whole scene with the Dweller in the Depths. When the Sarlacc in Return of the Jedi has a higher kill count than you, then you know you need to go back to creepy monster school.
11. The part where Conan climbs up to the very highest tower of Zym's city only to watch a procession of cultists, led by Zym, taking Tamara out of the city to the geologically unsound Skull Rock. Because, let's face it, it makes total sense to leave your city with its high walls and richly appointed palace with its army of guards to take a bunch of wimpy cultists to a cave that a sneeze could collapse that has no spiritual/mystical significance to perform your very important ritual.
12. The whole scene where they reawaken the mask. First of all, the mask has an anus that drinks Tamara's blood. Secondly, why are you going to take your one, precious resource that it took you twenty years to find (aka Tamara) and chain her to a circular frame which you will then suspend over a chasm hundreds of feet deep with lava at the bottom? Especially when you then want to use her body to house the spirit of your beloved, long dead creepster wife? I know that it might not be my thing, but if I was being brought back from the dead after two decades of rotting in the ground, I wouldn't want to be put in mortal peril immediately upon returning to life.
13. The mask. The mask, really, is the final straw. I mean, when the voice of God (aka Morgan Freeman) talks it up, he makes it sound like the mask is some artifact of unimaginable power, allowing whoever wears it to conquer nations and subjugate entire races of men. What we get is half a Face Hugger/Head Crab that has the ability to create ill-timed earthquakes below caverns with more cracks in them than a plumbers convention as well as the power to not quite bring people back from the dead. I mean, seriously, if that was the extent of the power of the mask I can't really see what the fuss was about, especially when this mask packs more oomph.

Please don't see this movie. Don't watch it in the theater, don't rent it, don't even download a pirated movie. If you want to see Conan the Barbarian, go watch Conan kill a giant snake and listen to James Earl Jones complain about it. That is, disturbingly enough, the better movie. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309206#Comment_309206 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309206#Comment_309206 Mon, 12 Sep 2011 22:11:08 -0700 D.J. We might have a winner. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309231#Comment_309231 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309231#Comment_309231 Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:37:55 -0700 Mercer Finn rather liked Cowboys & Aliens.

On the topic in general, I usually find something to enjoy in really very bad movies (although Solomon Kane was pushing it). What gets me are films that are actually unpleasant on an ideas level (Baise-Moi comes to mind, also Youth in Revolt -- complained about over here). ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309301#Comment_309301 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309301#Comment_309301 Tue, 13 Sep 2011 22:06:29 -0700 Brendan McGinley Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309305#Comment_309305 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309305#Comment_309305 Tue, 13 Sep 2011 22:16:32 -0700 Greasemonkey
Kristen Stewart nails everything that's awful about Thor here. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309332#Comment_309332 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309332#Comment_309332 Wed, 14 Sep 2011 06:54:54 -0700 Jason A. Quest It was not a great movie, but worst ever? Not even close. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309343#Comment_309343 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309343#Comment_309343 Wed, 14 Sep 2011 09:05:45 -0700 Sonny

There’s not often a lot of connections made within comics,
Defining the parameters of the cultural conversation. What
Paul Morley did in WORDS AND MUSIC, defining the
cultural space and connective tissue between Alvin Lucier
and Kylie Minogue, say… not a lot of that. We’re deathly
afraid of that stabbing word “pretentious,” the word that
students use to curse each other’s ambition. It’s a young
person’s word, a shortcut-to-thinking word.
I’m a big fan of pretension. It means “an aspiration or intention
that may or may not reach fulfillment.” It doesn’t mean
failing upward. It means trying to exceed your grasp. Which
is how things grow.

]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309344#Comment_309344 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309344#Comment_309344 Wed, 14 Sep 2011 09:06:28 -0700 RenThing Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309404#Comment_309404 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309404#Comment_309404 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 06:48:04 -0700 Vornaskotti Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309405#Comment_309405 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309405#Comment_309405 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 06:59:05 -0700 RenThing Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309429#Comment_309429 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309429#Comment_309429 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 12:43:39 -0700 Mercer Finn No joke. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309434#Comment_309434 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309434#Comment_309434 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 13:28:43 -0700 twentythoughts
I wouldn't call it a bad movie, though. It has the seed of a good movie, but just fell a bit flat in the execution. If you demand that everything you see on screen has a clear explanation, I can't see you enjoying a lot of movies. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309567#Comment_309567 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309567#Comment_309567 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 23:45:45 -0700 Fishelle Other movies that are better than Thor include…
Fantastic Four
Ghost Rider
DareDevil
Twilight… IT’S THAT FUCKING BAD

Now I am just confused because this was written by Kristen Stewart apparently, but then she says this about Twilight, and in the "who is this person" section of this site it says Kristen Stewart is in Twilight, but... well, if this is the Kristen Stewart in Twilight I don't think she has any right to talk about movies sucking. Also, this would make no sense.

Also, Thor really isn't that bad. It's flawed, certainly. But I enjoyed it, not expecting Citizen Kane, but rather a fun little nonsense Marvel film. And that is what it is.

And speaking of Twilight, I lied when I said the next movie was the last. I found out recently it's been split into 2 films, so we have to deal with the ads and crazy fans and stuff for another year. This makes me sad. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309580#Comment_309580 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309580#Comment_309580 Sat, 17 Sep 2011 05:57:39 -0700 twentythoughts Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309633#Comment_309633 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=309633#Comment_309633 Sat, 17 Sep 2011 20:50:48 -0700 ScottS Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=310257#Comment_310257 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=310257#Comment_310257 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 23:29:29 -0700 flecky
I'm just being silly..it's the hype i despise..everyone on the tube all reading the same Potter book.I guess it could be anything.
I still hate The Phantom Menace.

It's that old rebellion thing.Why should i like what the mob decide i should..
Nah..i like the pod race bit..

But i'm a sick pervert.I love some of the films you guys have discussed and find some great awful viewing..Cannibal Holocaust(excuse grammer)..the brutality to animals is sickening yet don't they all eat them..i guess i find people eating a big mac more dodgy. i like that film. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311478#Comment_311478 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311478#Comment_311478 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:16:27 -0700 Internaut

Thor’s best buds are worthless. Thor is followed around by a rag tag crew of three dudes and one chick. These dudes and chicks are about a millionth as powerful as Thor is and provide him absolutely no support in combat and absolutely no brains outside of it.

Those dudes and chicks man, they're a millionth behind. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311541#Comment_311541 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311541#Comment_311541 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 23:04:24 -0700 Brendan McGinley Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311548#Comment_311548 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311548#Comment_311548 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:07:53 -0700 DistractDelude
Sure, Heimdall in Norse mythology is not portrayed as a kick-ass, black English bloke. But then again, we're not talking about Norse mythology seeing as (prepare yourselves, this may come as a surprise) the Marvel Universe does not exist! Therefore, anything is possible.

Really, if you're willing to believe that a Norse God would actually reduce himself to fighting alongside a bunch of spandex wearing heroes rather than doing... God stuff, then you should really be open to any possibility. Whining about the colour of an actor's skin and ignoring the fact that Elba did a brilliant job of portraying the comic book interpretation of a mythical being... well, maybe some people have deeper problems than they might like to admit. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311558#Comment_311558 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311558#Comment_311558 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 02:43:08 -0700 Fauxhammer
I did not like the first Transformers movie, Peter Cullen notwithstanding. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311565#Comment_311565 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311565#Comment_311565 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 05:02:02 -0700 city creed Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311633#Comment_311633 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311633#Comment_311633 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 16:44:26 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311645#Comment_311645 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311645#Comment_311645 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:17:43 -0700 RenThing
I have a collection of his work. The difference between REH's work and that movie is that REH's work, in the context of the story, made sense and the movie had so many inconsistencies that it would be a slap in the face of Howard's memory to say that was truly a Conan movie. It was like the movie was desperately trying to be a Conan movie based off of what it had been told about by a third party without ever having read any of Howard's stories. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311650#Comment_311650 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311650#Comment_311650 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 19:02:19 -0700 Fishelle Kristen Stewart doesn't write that blog. The author titled that review site in regards to her perpetual bedroom eyes.

That makes way more sense.

One last thing, then I'm done talking about Twilight, hopefully forever. I found out that apparently the two leads, Kristen Stewart and the guy, are actually dating in real life. Now, normally this is the sort of "news" that I would forget in less than a second, because there's not much I could care about less than who the strangers I see in movies are dating. But I began to wonder, how is it possible that all the romance in these films could be so incredibly forced and awkward when the two people who are supposed to be acting like they're in love are actually, apparently, in love? Are they just that bad at acting, to the point where they can't even convey feelings that they actually have?

Maybe it's like Lina Lamont in Singin' in The Rain, convinced that she and Don Lockwood are engaged because all the fan magazines say so, even though he flat out tells her he'd rather kiss a tarantula. Except, apparently Kristen Stewart was the one who said they were together, but it's her that seems to be the most repulsed by the relationship, if her acting is any indication. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311651#Comment_311651 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311651#Comment_311651 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 19:11:33 -0700 Alan Tyson Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311674#Comment_311674 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311674#Comment_311674 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 22:03:15 -0700 flecky I'm so out the loop..which i can live with..i didn't even know a Avengers movie was out.

Guess only superhero film stuff i really like is Nolan's bat films and Kick Ass..
I grew up reading Howard's Conan books..loved them!! Used to read them under the covers with a torch...was excellent.Latest film..don't even wan't to see!!
Not seen a Twilight movie..reckon i've just made a decision not to.
My opinions are distorted so... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311690#Comment_311690 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=311690#Comment_311690 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 05:00:47 -0700 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312042#Comment_312042 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312042#Comment_312042 Mon, 10 Oct 2011 17:21:16 -0700 gaveedra And it is not even that I dislike this kind of movie. I watch the crappy sub national lampoon style movies on netflix all the time when I am bored. But at least those stick to a formula that works for the movie genre.
Most of of this tirade is because I am mad at myself for watching sooo long waiting for something funny to happen. I want that hour back! ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312063#Comment_312063 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312063#Comment_312063 Mon, 10 Oct 2011 20:29:08 -0700 RenThing
Oh, watch it, just don't consider it a Conan movie. If you want to watch one of those, watch Arnold. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312108#Comment_312108 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312108#Comment_312108 Tue, 11 Oct 2011 06:13:30 -0700 Paul Sizer Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312174#Comment_312174 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312174#Comment_312174 Tue, 11 Oct 2011 16:30:35 -0700 lucien Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312196#Comment_312196 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312196#Comment_312196 Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:17:05 -0700 RenThing
My brother described it as "Shark-tooth Ugly People vs. Pretty Aliens" ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312285#Comment_312285 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312285#Comment_312285 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 07:03:11 -0700 flecky Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312303#Comment_312303 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312303#Comment_312303 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 08:41:13 -0700 lucien
i think he was being kind. not one thing i even kind of liked, or thought was clever. not one damned thing. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312343#Comment_312343 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312343#Comment_312343 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 14:23:03 -0700 D.J. Timothy Olyphant? ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312413#Comment_312413 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312413#Comment_312413 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:04:06 -0700 lucien
could barely recognize him it was so bad. also, i'm not his biggest fan. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312554#Comment_312554 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312554#Comment_312554 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:52:10 -0700 Davie
I was thirteen when it came out and I thought the books were the bestest things evar. So of course I went to see the movie, and even my middle-school self realized what crap it was.

Soulchunder revulsion caused by somehow taking an already hideously cliched and derivative plot and making it even less interesting, while leaving out the few elements that made the book even slightly worthwhile, i.e. the city in the volcanic crater and the dogmatic dwarves vs. atheist elves. The most tragic thing about it was the fact that good actors' careers were forever tainted by the film. The best thing about it was watching these guys be completely aware that they were in a terrible film. John Malkovich sounded consistently bored, like he just wanted to get his scenes over with so he could go off and be in a better movie, Garrett Hedlund had a difficult time not cracking up after reciting some of his stupider lines, and Jeremy Irons, bless the man, actually gave the mentally inept script his best, despite obviously knowing it was barely worth the effort.

But yes, it was awful. The only movie I've seen that came close to its level of awfulness was the Day of the Dead remake, which was the most boring fucking zombie film I have ever seen, and didn't even have the benefit of somewhat competent acting. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312560#Comment_312560 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312560#Comment_312560 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 23:43:40 -0700 flecky Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312583#Comment_312583 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312583#Comment_312583 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 06:14:17 -0700 twentythoughts Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312602#Comment_312602 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312602#Comment_312602 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 13:20:32 -0700 brittanica At least Dawn of the Dead had a mall. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312619#Comment_312619 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=312619#Comment_312619 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 16:37:18 -0700 MShades Battlefield Earth in the movie theater. About halfway through, a thunderstorm rolled in and the theater lost power for about 30 seconds. Everyone was up and putting their jackets back on and we were all looking forward to getting a free movie voucher or something, and then the most horrible thing happened - the power came back on and the movie started up again.

In a show of being a Good Boyfriend, I watched the entire Sex & the City oeuvre. I still haven't decided what to inflict upon him as revenge.

A co-worker recommended that I watch Audition by Takashi Miike. Why hate it? Because it lies to you. It starts as what looks like a slightly weird romance between an older man and a younger woman and then... it's not. I had to pause the DVD and go out to have a cigarette before I could finish.

Finally, Pulp Fiction. This may be an issue of circumstances - all my friends saw it about a year before I did, and for all that time it was Pulp Fiction music, Pulp Fiction quotes, Pulp Fiction posters.... When I finally saw it, with a different group of friends, I thought it was a senseless mishmash that was only saved from utter, indescribable crapdom by Sam Jackson. I hated the characters (again, Sam aside) I hated the style, I hated the editing. I hated Bruce Willis, which hurt more than words can say. I hated it so much that I went back to my dorm, woke up my roommate from a sound sleep and said, "If you EVER quote Pulp Fiction to me again, as God is my witness I will drop you where you stand."

Man, I hated that movie. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315715#Comment_315715 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315715#Comment_315715 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:21:09 -0800 Jack_Crow
to add something i havent seen here, I gave you "titanic 2" - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanic_II

go check it, movies from The Asylum culd get on that list EASILY ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315722#Comment_315722 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315722#Comment_315722 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 05:27:29 -0800 RandomEntity Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315846#Comment_315846 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315846#Comment_315846 Thu, 17 Nov 2011 04:38:01 -0800 tedcroland Passion, but I feel like it will not be as appreciated as I want it to be.

Wanna know a fun fact about The Passion of the Christ? There's an ongoing merchandising campaign! How Christian. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315876#Comment_315876 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315876#Comment_315876 Thu, 17 Nov 2011 11:52:36 -0800 Lawrence Rider
Honourable mention to Scary Movie, which was just a gigantic mess, spectacularly undercut by Scream 2 sending itself up better than the spoof ever managed. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315933#Comment_315933 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315933#Comment_315933 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 02:01:14 -0800 IsaacSher
More recently, a friend and I only *barely* made it through Ong-Bak 2. I wasn't expecting a good plot; the first movie was rather shallow but made up for it with balls to the wall awesome fights and stunts. But 2? Bloated, meandering, and badly-paced fight scenes. The only nice thing I could say about it was "oh, that was a nice kick just now", and then I'd have to wait half an hour before I could say something similar again.

I think Frank Miller's The Spirit takes the cake, though. I *could not finish* that fucker. The final straw came when the midget bellhop eagerly identified the femme fatale by the *photocopy of her ass* that the Spirit showed him. Done. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315956#Comment_315956 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=315956#Comment_315956 Fri, 18 Nov 2011 07:01:19 -0800 government spy
What I was expecting was a Sin City style comic flick, with some hot chicks. This wasn't Will Eisner's The Spirit. I was somewhat okay with that, not as a great movie or anything, but as eye candy.

It had that, but with worse dialog than any soft-core porn ever made. The "banter" between the chief and that annoying female cop was just horrible. I think they just repeated each other's lines for infinity. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316123#Comment_316123 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316123#Comment_316123 Sat, 19 Nov 2011 19:13:38 -0800 Soviet Rocket No. 9
Trust me, it makes Lifetime look legitimate.

I just saw the first five minutes, only worth it because of Hal Holbrook, and then bolted to here.

Robert Pattinson has a hell of a lot of work to make me like him now. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316135#Comment_316135 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316135#Comment_316135 Sat, 19 Nov 2011 21:04:00 -0800 government spy Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316170#Comment_316170 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316170#Comment_316170 Sun, 20 Nov 2011 11:26:23 -0800 flecky
But worst film ever? This horror addict can't really see that.

Still,we are all entitled to our own opinions so 'nuff said. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316193#Comment_316193 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316193#Comment_316193 Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:04:34 -0800 RenThing
Agreed. ItMoM isn't a cinematic masterpiece, and it hasn't aged well, but the sheer Lovecraftian fucking that Sam Neill's character goes through? God damn. "Did I ever tell you my favorite color is blue?" ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316195#Comment_316195 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316195#Comment_316195 Sun, 20 Nov 2011 15:18:26 -0800 RobSpalding
For Your Consideration I give you:
Die You Zombie Bastards
Saint Francis
The Book of Life
Autumn
She-Demons of the Black Sun

Try watching any of these all the way through. I think you'll probably re-evaluate what makes a terrible film.
And these are the problems with Lovefilm, sometimes something sounds interesting, or you add shit while drunk, and then you get to try watching it. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316255#Comment_316255 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=316255#Comment_316255 Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:28:37 -0800 Lazarus99 Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322694#Comment_322694 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322694#Comment_322694 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 11:02:10 -0800 apefist Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322709#Comment_322709 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322709#Comment_322709 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 13:46:07 -0800 johnjones Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322712#Comment_322712 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322712#Comment_322712 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:12:43 -0800 William Joseph Dunn Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322714#Comment_322714 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322714#Comment_322714 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:30:12 -0800 a ethic whelp The only movie I still wish I had walked out of the cinema; armageddon. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322717#Comment_322717 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322717#Comment_322717 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:55:19 -0800 johnjones
I'm wondering if they'll finally include the Butt-cam extra for the U$ DVD. You know, the one where you can see all the scenes Beckinsale's character is in shot as 3-D close-ups of her black leather-clad ass. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322722#Comment_322722 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322722#Comment_322722 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:37:26 -0800 government spy
I don't even watch porn, but I can't take my eyes off that ass. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322726#Comment_322726 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322726#Comment_322726 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:15:49 -0800 William Joseph Dunn
I guess I'm not.

I'm weak...

...sorry...

...don't judge damn you... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322728#Comment_322728 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322728#Comment_322728 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:24:44 -0800 RenThing
I paid full admission to go see Max Payne and it wasn't even because there was a nice ass in that movie. I have no right to judge anyone for the movies they watch. Unless it's Twilight, because god damn. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322729#Comment_322729 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322729#Comment_322729 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:28:12 -0800 tedcroland
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322753#Comment_322753 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322753#Comment_322753 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 23:35:34 -0800 Brendan McGinley Suspira. It was ridiculous. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322770#Comment_322770 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322770#Comment_322770 Sat, 28 Jan 2012 04:42:48 -0800 kahavi Enter the Void. From a technical perspective, it is a very well executed and visually challenging. However, the cutting triggered my migraine, and I really, really hate Paz de la Huerta. As an actress, she's vastly overrated and useless. Argh. So the whole movie experience ended up being vomit-inducing and grating on my nerves. So from that perspective, it's a horrible, not-good, awful movie. Technically brilliant, but still awful. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322773#Comment_322773 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322773#Comment_322773 Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:41:26 -0800 RobSpalding So I turned it off. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322783#Comment_322783 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322783#Comment_322783 Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:08:59 -0800 andycon Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322784#Comment_322784 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322784#Comment_322784 Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:20:34 -0800 flecky
Not the worst films made but i forced myself to watch DAREDEVIL(ok,i hated it)the other night and THE INCREDIBLE HULK is now on the box.It may be just me but i find Stan Lee doing his Alfred Hitchcock thing just a little irritating.Nothing major.Just a tad irksome.

'nuff said. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322804#Comment_322804 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322804#Comment_322804 Sat, 28 Jan 2012 20:05:52 -0800 flecky
When i got a copy of Survival of the Dead i had to turn it off halfway.Seeing a female zombie riding around on a horse;Is that what things have come to?It's depiction of the Irish...sigh.I did get round to watching it all eventually and was sorely disappointed.

Anyway,this thread is about WORST!FILM!EVER!It's a tricky subject as i have a tendency to enjoy some real low-budget,badly made,edited by a chimp,tasteless stuff...

To be honest it's all the multiplex,blockbuster films which get to me now.You'd think that,being a sci-fi/horror fan,i would be up for seeing all the 3D,CGI-ridden stuff that seems to be out there but i'm not.I went to see a few 3D films in the eighties and they where bad.Really bad.

I confess:i've not been to see one of the new batch of 3D films over the past few years and i've no real desire to.Am i just being a old,cynical bastard with a mistrust of change?If children enjoy them then i suppose that's good for them.Saying that,though,lots of 3D films are marketed for adults.

CGI:When i was about 5 my mom took me to see 2001 and,even at that age,i loved it.To this day i still find the miniature models beautiful.I watched Moon again recently and i find the SFX in it more satisfying than a thousand viewings of Avatar.

I will end this rant on a few words:THE SPIRIT.THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST.CONSTANTINE.What a lovely triple-bill that would be for me... ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322836#Comment_322836 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322836#Comment_322836 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 10:13:18 -0800 William Joseph Dunn "Enter the Void was pretty, but after watching it for 2 hours it turned out only half an hour had gone by.
So I turned it off. "

HAHAHAHA! Brilliant! It's kind of true. I watched all of it. I guess I liked it a little more than you did. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322847#Comment_322847 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=322847#Comment_322847 Sun, 29 Jan 2012 14:25:47 -0800 Ryan S Thomason Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323535#Comment_323535 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323535#Comment_323535 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:03:01 -0800 Gordon
Now, I want to quickly stress that the only reason I inflicted this upon myself is because I was watching the Rifftrax version (piss-take commentaries from the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 team). Even with that buffer it was still a mind-raping experience. THIS pile of shit is one of the biggest franchises in the world today?! Everything about it is awful, from the acting (she acts fidgety for the whole film, he puts on one expression and resolutely keeps it until the end credits) and directing to the (lack of) plot and dialogue. Everything is as bad as it can possibly be while at no point becoming so bad it's funny. Well, maybe the bit where the cold, dead paedo (which is what that vampire guy is when you get right down to it) puts the dour-faced fidgeter on his back and 'super sprints' like the Roadrunner.

And sparkly vampires?! Fuck. Off. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323563#Comment_323563 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323563#Comment_323563 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:12:43 -0800 government spy Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323565#Comment_323565 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323565#Comment_323565 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:42:06 -0800 emonster Samurai Cop is one of the worst films ever. I loved it.
You just laugh from start to finish at all the horrible elements. Seriously, this film is so bad, yet so watchable.
I think the greatest crime a film can commit is to be boring. Samurai Cop is not boring. It is just horrible.

I had completely forgot about the existence of Freejack. What a piece of crap. I saw it in the theater as well. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323640#Comment_323640 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323640#Comment_323640 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:30:54 -0800 Finagle So I turned it off. "

The only film I've felt that about was The New World. What complete wankery. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323723#Comment_323723 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323723#Comment_323723 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:26:26 -0800 Exploder Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323815#Comment_323815 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323815#Comment_323815 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:12:28 -0800 fod_xp
Reasons (and there are LOTS): It was discount day at the local theatre when I went to see a movie. The only two movies I had any interest in seeing, yet had fuckall knowledge about, were The King's Speech and Sanctum. Usually I go to theatres for loud action/Sci-fi movies just because it seems weird to me to watch a drama or comedy on the big screen. Something doesn't quite click, and trust me I have tried. So, guess which one I picked. *puts on dunce cap that says DUMBASS* I decided to watch Sanctum because it was an underwater movie and had James Cameron's name attached to it. I paid my $5 and went in. The theatre was packed, another headache, and the Movie began. IT WAS TWO FUCKING HOURS OF PURE MISOGYNISTIC CRAP!!! Within the first 10 FUCKING MINUTES the Australian woman drowned to death and the common theme of the movie was follow the old experienced cave diving pro, which ended up with everyone dying, including himself, except his punk bitch of a son.

There characterization was schizophrenic, the caves looked like a Star Trek: OST build set, the CG was decades behind current standards and looked worse than Season 1 of Babylon 5, James Cameron only attached his name to the project because of a single 3D helicopter scene that was so cringe worthy to watch because it was blatantly fake and gave the middle finger to helicopter physics. Ioan Guffield was in it and at one point he flashed a light into his fiance's face while she was precariously hanging from an unstable line in a flooding section of the giant ass hole they were in, and that caused her hair to get caught in the rigging. Everyone kept telling to her NOT cut her hair with her knife, but for an entire 8 minutes she was caught in the rigging, which was tearing her scalp off, and the other three just stood there yelling at her to not do any thing. So she pulled the knife out, either because she had had enough of their shit and was going to prove them wrong....or she was going to prove them right and die. The latter happened and you get to see her dead bloated corpse 10 minutes later. There were three women in the movie and each of them died horribly and were constantly being berated and condescended to by this "Elite Cave Diver" that ended up getting everyone killed, except his son, who hated him, until they had a random scene where they were climbing a chasm to get out and the dad started quoting the Xanadu poem. Again, all of this might have worked with a better script that didn't call for the character to say one thing, do the complete opposite, then flip the reverse two minutes later. It was shit, and it became an utter chore to watch and by halfway through I wanted to leave, but didn't. Which meant by theatre policy I couldn't ask for a refund.

FUCK. THAT. MOVIE. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323816#Comment_323816 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323816#Comment_323816 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:26:35 -0800 Mercer Finn
The New World worked for me, actually. I think the reason was that I could believe the characters were actually thinking the voiceovers we were overhearing, while in The Thin Red Line that was a huge problem for me. I'm sorry, but soldiers are not hippies. Soldiers HATE hippies.

Had no desire to see The Tree Of Life, tho rather like one apocryphal story I heard abt it: at one screening there was a problem with the digital projection so that a scene was put on loop -- being a Terrence Malick film, no one noticed. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323820#Comment_323820 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323820#Comment_323820 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:05:50 -0800 William Joseph Dunn Tree of Life was worth watching. I can't say I enjoyed it (like most Malick films), but as a person who works in film, I got something out of watching it. I think of Malick films as broccoli. You might not enjoy them necessarily, but you're better for consuming them. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323826#Comment_323826 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323826#Comment_323826 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:05:18 -0800 government spy Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323830#Comment_323830 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=323830#Comment_323830 Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:38:17 -0800 William Joseph Dunn Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335289#Comment_335289 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335289#Comment_335289 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 06:30:51 -0700 Foamhead ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335308#Comment_335308 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335308#Comment_335308 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 09:45:04 -0700 Argos Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335314#Comment_335314 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335314#Comment_335314 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 10:39:17 -0700 William Joseph Dunn exactly the amount they spent on that script. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335383#Comment_335383 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335383#Comment_335383 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 03:46:10 -0700 Finagle Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335384#Comment_335384 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335384#Comment_335384 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 03:51:43 -0700 Steve Toase http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She_(1982_film)
Because the post apocalypse will be like this
]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335389#Comment_335389 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335389#Comment_335389 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 06:12:27 -0700 Will Couper
A week or two ago I decided to put on a low-budget horror film called 'Dread'. It should have been called 'Dreadful'. It's of that school of horror film making that demands a bunch of unlikable, charisma voided characters glare at each other for most of the running time while nothing happens. The makers of this film manage to make the action, when it happens, just a boring as the rest of the film. That action being humourless, dead-eyed torture porn – just what everyone in the world was crying out for, dull torture porn!

Oh, wait, no they didn't. They watched 'The Human Centipede' said fuck that jive and watched the original 'Halloween' instead.

Will ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335395#Comment_335395 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335395#Comment_335395 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 07:43:53 -0700 RobSpalding Is Dread the CLive Barker adaptation about the students making a documentary on fear? Because that was dull. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335398#Comment_335398 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335398#Comment_335398 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 08:03:28 -0700 Argos Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335436#Comment_335436 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335436#Comment_335436 Fri, 29 Jun 2012 20:20:54 -0700 flecky I also attempted to sit through the last 2001 Maniacs flick, which had bits of the comic in it at the beginning. It seemed so badly made that I ended up turning it off.

I just remembered London Kills Me, which was filmed around Notting Hill. I lived there at the time, and that had a cringe-worthy story. Depressing.

I was an extra for a Paul McCartney video, but I'll save that for my nightmares. You can't see me in it, thank God! ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335440#Comment_335440 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335440#Comment_335440 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 02:03:16 -0700 Will Couper

Will ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335517#Comment_335517 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335517#Comment_335517 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:01:00 -0700 brittanica Oh, that 2001 Maniacs sequel was awful. I went into it w/ high hopes, despite the plot (seriously? a parody of The Simple Life, that reality show w/ Paris Hilton? Many years after its relevance?), mainly 'cause I thought Bill Moseley and Nivek Orge did a good job in Repo! The Genetic Opera (which has its own major problems, but it's definitely not "worst movie ever" material).

Ugh.

It's kinda interesting how many of these terrible movies are horror movies. Not surprising, but interesting. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335520#Comment_335520 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335520#Comment_335520 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 07:55:26 -0700 Finagle Lockout/ certainly wins the prize as the 21st century's most derivative movie to date. Really only worth watching because of all the much better movies you'll enjoy remembering as you watch it. "Hey, remember that bit from /Star Wars/? Good times."

I turned it off in favor of reruns of /Law and Order:SVU/, which feature less predictable plot twists. ]]> Worst. Movie. Ever. http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335546#Comment_335546 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10077&Focus=335546#Comment_335546 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 18:17:25 -0700 Kay Orchison