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      CommentAuthorInternaut
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2011
     (10077.261)

    Did you know that the next one (and, thank heaven, the last one) has the main werewolf fall in love with the main girl's baby? That's pretty amazing stuff right there. I haven't seen all of them, but was dragged by family to see 2 of them in the theater. They are pretty horrible, for sure. Everyone around me was annoyed because I couldn't stop laughing.


    Also, apparently the main sparkly nancy vampire eats the baby abomination STRAIGHT OUT OF HER WOMB.
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      CommentAuthorapefist
    • CommentTimeAug 16th 2011 edited
     (10077.262)
    Skyline

    Alien invasion of Los Angeles - interesting looking tentacled alien robots. What could go wrong? Another ID4? V? Falling Skies?

    OK, it's bad enough that the movie was about hiding in a luxury highrise from robot aliens. Hiding. Not fighting, not escaping, not even capitulating. But hiding. The cast includes Donald Faison, the funny black guy from Scrubs, David Zayas-the horribly used and badly written Hispanic detective from Dexter, Eric Balfour as the pouting artist, Scottie Thompson as pouting artist's pregnant girlfriend and some other forgettable people. After the hiding, there is eventually a confrontation or the aliens catch and kill everyone or something.

    This next stuff all takes place in like the last 5 minutes: Anyway, the girlfriend is spared being eaten or mutated into an alien, for she is withchild, but pouting artist is not so fortunate. His brain is sucked out and put into an awaiting...shell? Golem? slug template? Larva tentacle maggot looking thing, and upset at being an alien in a world of goo and he rampages a bit. But his brain is orange, unlike all the other docile blue ones, so apparently pouting artist is able to be himself in his new gooey shell. Pregnant GF is slapped into a different chamber full of other pregnant women and is covered with rape and scrape tentacles ready to proceed to the unspeakable horror every expectant mother looks forward to. Pouting alien bursts in and saves her from the rape tentacles, touches her stomach, and we hear a heartbeat. he tenderly strokes her face with his new, three fingered tentacle-paw. Preggers recognizes it's pouting artist baby-daddy, and he rises up triumphantly, standing guard over his baby-mama. He picks her up and holds her as more alien tentacles converge on him. Then we get a slideshow of them running away into the ship's labyrinth honeycomb hideout. I shit you not.





    Worst. Movie. Ever.
  1.  (10077.263)
    "There's a lot you can do with a PG-13 rating these days."

    I agree. "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" was PG - 13 and I thought it was the best popcorn movie of the summer.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeAug 16th 2011
     (10077.264)
    @William Joseph Dunn

    List of "horror" movies that have PG-13 ratings.

    1408 was PG13? Huh. That has to be my favorite Stephen King horror adaptation (Shawshank Redemption is my favorite adaptation ever).

    However, I think PG13 ratings does ruin some movies.
  2.  (10077.265)
    No, bad writing ruins the movies.

    If the only thing that keeps your film from sucking is the word fuck, guess what? Your film still sucks.

    Very, very, very few films actually need to be made with an R rating to make them good.
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      CommentAuthorBeamish
    • CommentTimeAug 17th 2011
     (10077.266)
    ^ agreed.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeAug 17th 2011
     (10077.267)
    @KPatrickGlover

    I agree, to a point based on genre. For instance, horror. Several horror movies, which are escaping at the moment unfortunately, have received poor reviews because they were edited to fit a PG-13 rating in an attempt to appeal to a larger audience where as the director's cuts, which would've been given an R rating, are more favorably reviewed. Del Torro, with his upcoming Don't be Afraid of the Dark and his proposed adaptation of "At the Mountains of Madness", has said that in order to realize his script as he wants to he has to have the R-rating, otherwise he feels he might be forced to produce a watered-down version of what he wants.
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      CommentAuthorBeamish
    • CommentTimeAug 17th 2011
     (10077.268)
    I feel, depending on the writer, director and editor, very many R rated movies could be crafted to receive whatever rating they want and the story shouldn't suffer.
  3.  (10077.269)
    Crappy Disney movies from the nineties don't get a mention? How about "Inspector Gadget"? Or the remake of "That Darn Cat"? Seriously, both movies combined, do not even equal out to something decent.
  4.  (10077.270)
    @RenThing The studio not "allowing" him to make an R rated AtMoM and him having to bail on the movie that he's been trying to get made for something like 10 years, finally gets the money to make it, and was even to the point of being in negotiations with actors [Tom Cruise was ready to sign was the rumor I heard] and then being completely shut down, OVER A RATING. Is nonsense.
    I think what has happened is that PG-13 IS the new R and R is the new NC17/X rating. They're allowing more into PG-13 movies these days, including more cussing, way more sexual innuendo and drug references. Not to sound like an old man, but it's kind of scary.
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      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeAug 17th 2011
     (10077.271)
    Rocket No. 9: Inspector Gadget was a poorly-made film. Its sequel actually gave me brain blisters.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeAug 17th 2011
     (10077.272)
    @RandomEntity

    That's not what I heard at all. I heard that he did a pre-treatment, showed it to the movie execs and they loved it (supposedly one of the execs, unnamed of course, said it was one of the best pieces of cinema he's seen ever) but he wanted an R-rating AND $150 million. They were willing to give him the go for the movie on half that budget and a PG-13 rating (in theory because it would appeal to wider audiences who will go see a PG-13 movie but not an R one), he said no. So, partially the rating and partially the money.
  5.  (10077.273)
    James Cameron was supposed to be bankrolling it from what I heard. I don't understand how you say no to del Toro AND Cameron with the possibility of Tom Cruise in a starring role. Yeah, Tom's not what he used to be, but still. I just know that now it's not getting mad and it's SOMEBODY'S fault, and that makes me angry.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeAug 18th 2011
     (10077.274)
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      CommentAuthorcurb
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
     (10077.275)
    Another film that I must sadly add to the "Don't watch it if you loved it as a kid" list : The Great Outdoors. We watched it as part of our weekly movie night last night, and boy is it a stinker. Inconsistent in about every way possible, with just a loose series of weird vignettes in place of any kind of coherent narrative. The sad thing is, I must have watched that film ten or more times as a kid, and loved it every time. As an adult, I was expecting that Ackroyd/Candy pairing to work on a whole new level. But it doesn't. It's just an awful, awful, awful film.
    • CommentAuthorEmperor
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
     (10077.276)
    Title: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

    Circumstances of experience: A friend was so appalled by it he sneaked around to mine, stuffed the DVD through the letterbox and scampered down the street like a man who'd got a doubly-incontinent elephant off his back. I am biding my time, but will destroy him for this.

    Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: I think the moment my brain tried to throw-up in my skull was when Venice started collapsing like dominoes. The only up-side is that I can guarantee Alan Moore has never seen it or he'd turn Don Murphy's most private parts to coal, if he hasn't done it already on principle. I burnt the DVD in case I tried to pass it on to some other unsuspecting soul in a manner that would rapidly start to resemble a Japanese horror movie.
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      CommentAuthorLazarus99
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
     (10077.277)
    Just watched Your Highness.
    James Franco
    Zooey Deschanel
    Natalie Portman
    Charles fucking Dance

    Still trying to work out if it's that crap on purpose...
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      CommentAuthorravnos
    • CommentTimeAug 20th 2011
     (10077.278)
    @Lazarus99
    I think it was crap on purpose. I keep going back and forth on whether I want to watch that movie...
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      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeAug 20th 2011 edited
     (10077.279)
    Just because I wanted to spend some time with some good friends, I got talked into going to see THE HELP last night.

    Is it possible to die and still look like you're watching a movie and walking home afterwards?

    It may not have been a "WORST EVER" movie, but it was jumbled as hell and was another instance of a white person swooping in to save black people, then getting the job in NYC while the black people still live shitty lives. There may have been an interesting story in there, but less time was spent showing the unrest of the times than making sure I understood "The mean white housewife is eating a poop pie made by the black housekeeper". Yeah, I got it, can we actually show the lives of the black families who this story is supposed to be about? It's not because it was a "chick flick", it was just a badly told flick.

    I kept hearing explosions from the theatre next store and wishing I was there...
  6.  (10077.280)
    My wife has made me sit through some really God-awful romantic comedies, but that's just the penance of matrimony, so I'll leave that out of this discussion.

    To my eternal embarrassment I'll cop to watching Twilight: Eclipse. I also watched the first two Twilight films, and didn't think they were uproariously bad, but not very good either. However I read this was the best of the films so far so I had at least a bit of hope. Oops. I do love the fact that in this world vampires not only sparkle in sunlight, but they break like glass when hit hard enough.

    Simply nothing redeeming about this film. The best thing about sitting through that garbage is that I'm not even remotely interested in seeing the next installment. The worst is that I was ever interested in this garbage to begin with.