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Culturegasm: Worst. Movie. Ever.

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  1.  (10077.301)
    Thor is by no means a *good* movie... It's competent, but nothing more, honestly. Goes through the usual stuff, gets some laughs, and has anticlimactic fights (seriously, turning the battle against LOKI of all people into a boring slugfest is probably the movie's greatest sin). A lot of stuff isn't established properly (like the ice giants, and what the hell a random Asian dude is doing in Valhalla), but Loki's plan is actually genuinely surprising, making him into an actually-interesting character.

    I wouldn't call it a bad movie, though. It has the seed of a good movie, but just fell a bit flat in the execution. If you demand that everything you see on screen has a clear explanation, I can't see you enjoying a lot of movies.
    • CommentAuthorFishelle
    • CommentTimeSep 16th 2011
     (10077.302)
    Other movies that are better than Thor include…
    Fantastic Four
    Ghost Rider
    DareDevil
    Twilight… IT’S THAT FUCKING BAD


    Now I am just confused because this was written by Kristen Stewart apparently, but then she says this about Twilight, and in the "who is this person" section of this site it says Kristen Stewart is in Twilight, but... well, if this is the Kristen Stewart in Twilight I don't think she has any right to talk about movies sucking. Also, this would make no sense.

    Also, Thor really isn't that bad. It's flawed, certainly. But I enjoyed it, not expecting Citizen Kane, but rather a fun little nonsense Marvel film. And that is what it is.

    And speaking of Twilight, I lied when I said the next movie was the last. I found out recently it's been split into 2 films, so we have to deal with the ads and crazy fans and stuff for another year. This makes me sad.
  3.  (10077.303)
    Well, being in a sucky movie doesn't necessarily take away your right to talk about sucky movies. Take Halle Berry and her appearance on the Razzie awards to accept the award for "Catwoman" as an example. Acting's a job, and sometimes that means finishing your thing in a movie even if you know it sucks.
    • CommentAuthorScottS
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2011
     (10077.304)
    I don't understand the dislike for THOR. Is it a great movie? No. Is it a fun movie? Yes. In fact I just re-watched it on dvd tonight , and it's still fun.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeSep 24th 2011
     (10077.305)
    I guess i will have to see Thor..Dare i invite the wrath of god but no..I've not been able to sit through one Harry Potter film.I may actually find them ok yet because i'm a weak bigot ten minutes into one i despised everything about it..flying cars,english public school feeling,CGI..

    I'm just being silly..it's the hype i despise..everyone on the tube all reading the same Potter book.I guess it could be anything.
    I still hate The Phantom Menace.

    It's that old rebellion thing.Why should i like what the mob decide i should..
    Nah..i like the pod race bit..

    But i'm a sick pervert.I love some of the films you guys have discussed and find some great awful viewing..Cannibal Holocaust(excuse grammer)..the brutality to animals is sickening yet don't they all eat them..i guess i find people eating a big mac more dodgy. i like that film.
    •  
      CommentAuthorInternaut
    • CommentTimeOct 5th 2011
     (10077.306)
    Best quote from that Kristen Stewart review?

    Thor’s best buds are worthless. Thor is followed around by a rag tag crew of three dudes and one chick. These dudes and chicks are about a millionth as powerful as Thor is and provide him absolutely no support in combat and absolutely no brains outside of it.


    Those dudes and chicks man, they're a millionth behind.
  7.  (10077.307)
    Kristen Stewart doesn't write that blog. The author titled that review site in regards to her perpetual bedroom eyes.
  8.  (10077.308)
    I liked Thor, it was a decent intro to his character in preparation for The Avengers movie (which is all it was meant to be), which was made 10,000 times better due to the fact that so many racists pricks were wailing and gnashing their rotting teeth over Idris Elba being cast as Heimdall.

    Sure, Heimdall in Norse mythology is not portrayed as a kick-ass, black English bloke. But then again, we're not talking about Norse mythology seeing as (prepare yourselves, this may come as a surprise) the Marvel Universe does not exist! Therefore, anything is possible.

    Really, if you're willing to believe that a Norse God would actually reduce himself to fighting alongside a bunch of spandex wearing heroes rather than doing... God stuff, then you should really be open to any possibility. Whining about the colour of an actor's skin and ignoring the fact that Elba did a brilliant job of portraying the comic book interpretation of a mythical being... well, maybe some people have deeper problems than they might like to admit.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2011
     (10077.309)
    I liked Thor.

    I did not like the first Transformers movie, Peter Cullen notwithstanding.
    •  
      CommentAuthorcity creed
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2011
     (10077.310)
    The Green Lantern movie makes Thor look like Citizen bloody Kane. Ryan wossizname made me cringe so hard I went into convulsions. Cringulsions.
  11.  (10077.311)
    @RenThing have you ever READ any Conan stories? Cuz pretty much that's how things play out in Howard's stories. Conan kills a bunch of things, a monster, giant or wizard and then he has sex with women immediately after. Because he is fucking Conan.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2011
     (10077.312)
    @RandomEntity

    I have a collection of his work. The difference between REH's work and that movie is that REH's work, in the context of the story, made sense and the movie had so many inconsistencies that it would be a slap in the face of Howard's memory to say that was truly a Conan movie. It was like the movie was desperately trying to be a Conan movie based off of what it had been told about by a third party without ever having read any of Howard's stories.
    • CommentAuthorFishelle
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2011
     (10077.313)
    Kristen Stewart doesn't write that blog. The author titled that review site in regards to her perpetual bedroom eyes.


    That makes way more sense.

    One last thing, then I'm done talking about Twilight, hopefully forever. I found out that apparently the two leads, Kristen Stewart and the guy, are actually dating in real life. Now, normally this is the sort of "news" that I would forget in less than a second, because there's not much I could care about less than who the strangers I see in movies are dating. But I began to wonder, how is it possible that all the romance in these films could be so incredibly forced and awkward when the two people who are supposed to be acting like they're in love are actually, apparently, in love? Are they just that bad at acting, to the point where they can't even convey feelings that they actually have?

    Maybe it's like Lina Lamont in Singin' in The Rain, convinced that she and Don Lockwood are engaged because all the fan magazines say so, even though he flat out tells her he'd rather kiss a tarantula. Except, apparently Kristen Stewart was the one who said they were together, but it's her that seems to be the most repulsed by the relationship, if her acting is any indication.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2011
     (10077.314)
    To be fair, I should certainly hope that Stewart and Pattinson's real-life relationship does not in any way resemble Bella and Edward's.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeOct 6th 2011
     (10077.315)
    See..i just knew The Green Lantern would be bad.not seen it but trust you guys.Captain America..same as!I was hoping they would do a Robocop cynical take on it..just a fantasy.
    I'm so out the loop..which i can live with..i didn't even know a Avengers movie was out.

    Guess only superhero film stuff i really like is Nolan's bat films and Kick Ass..
    I grew up reading Howard's Conan books..loved them!! Used to read them under the covers with a torch...was excellent.Latest film..don't even wan't to see!!
    Not seen a Twilight movie..reckon i've just made a decision not to.
    My opinions are distorted so...
  16.  (10077.316)
    @RenThing Damnit that is depressing. I really like Khal Drogo and the trailer looked so awesome and way more authentic than the 80's movies. I'm completely bummed, I'll probably still watch it though.
    • CommentAuthorgaveedra
    • CommentTimeOct 10th 2011
     (10077.317)
    I was in a hotel the other night and "Get Him to the Greek" was on so I decided to watch. This is a horrible movie. And not just because I didn't like it but because it had not art to it. It is as if it was made by someone who had never seen a movie before. The first, I don't know, It felt like 20 minutes were introducing us to the character that was completely superfluous. Then another twenty introuducing us to the conflict. Look, even if i hadn't seen a million trailers there was no need to take time out of the flow of the movie to painfully explain these things. And then you would have had more time for fart jokes and sex.
    And it is not even that I dislike this kind of movie. I watch the crappy sub national lampoon style movies on netflix all the time when I am bored. But at least those stick to a formula that works for the movie genre.
    Most of of this tirade is because I am mad at myself for watching sooo long waiting for something funny to happen. I want that hour back!
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeOct 10th 2011
     (10077.318)
    @RandomEntity

    Oh, watch it, just don't consider it a Conan movie. If you want to watch one of those, watch Arnold.
    •  
      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2011
     (10077.319)
    @Gaveedra: The sad thing about "Get Him To The Greek" was that I really liked the film it was kind of a sequel to; "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". But I do agree with your assessment: utter crap.
    • CommentAuthorlucien
    • CommentTimeOct 11th 2011
     (10077.320)
    not sure if this was mentioned before, but "i am number 4" was a complete waste of humans.

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