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Culturegasm: Worst. Movie. Ever.

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  1.  (10077.341)
    I see all of these comments about worst film ever being about films that are at the very least competently shot and edited and think "Wow, I watch so much more shit than you guys."

    For Your Consideration I give you:
    Die You Zombie Bastards
    Saint Francis
    The Book of Life
    Autumn
    She-Demons of the Black Sun

    Try watching any of these all the way through. I think you'll probably re-evaluate what makes a terrible film.
    And these are the problems with Lovefilm, sometimes something sounds interesting, or you add shit while drunk, and then you get to try watching it.
    •  
      CommentAuthorLazarus99
    • CommentTimeNov 21st 2011
     (10077.342)
    Bloody Pompoms. About yes, killer cheerleading pompoms...try to get through more than half...
    •  
      CommentAuthorapefist
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2012
     (10077.343)
    Any of Romero's followups to DAWN of the DEAD. All of them sucked.
    •  
      CommentAuthorjohnjones
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2012
     (10077.344)
    Underworld 4: Return of the Beckinsale Butt
  5.  (10077.345)
    @johnjones - the first two Underworld movies are awful. I never paid to see them in the theater, but I watched them on cable when they were on. I don't feel good about that. I will acknowledge that I'm powerless to the Beckinsale butt.
  6.  (10077.346)
    Can't find a clip but I give you THE AMBULANCE. The two things that I remember; Stan Lee was in it. And the unforgettable line "I'm sorry I just love the feel of human skin through a surgical glove.".
    The only movie I still wish I had walked out of the cinema; armageddon.
    •  
      CommentAuthorjohnjones
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2012 edited
     (10077.347)
    @ William Joseph Dunn

    I'm wondering if they'll finally include the Butt-cam extra for the U$ DVD. You know, the one where you can see all the scenes Beckinsale's character is in shot as 3-D close-ups of her black leather-clad ass.
  8.  (10077.348)
    I don't care what you guys think. That butt is worth it. I saw the first two in the theater and boycotted the third because of its less-than-stellar ass. You don't watch those movies for plot, acting or special effects, unless they're Beckinsale-ass related.

    I don't even watch porn, but I can't take my eyes off that ass.
  9.  (10077.349)
    @goverment spy - I'm not disagreeing with you. I just thought I was above watching bad movies for such pervey reasons.

    I guess I'm not.


    I'm weak...


    ...sorry...




    ...don't judge damn you...
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2012
     (10077.350)
    @William Joseph Dunn

    I paid full admission to go see Max Payne and it wasn't even because there was a nice ass in that movie. I have no right to judge anyone for the movies they watch. Unless it's Twilight, because god damn.
    •  
      CommentAuthortedcroland
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2012
     (10077.351)
    Samurai Cop

  12.  (10077.352)
    ...I couldn't finish Suspira. It was ridiculous.
    •  
      CommentAuthorkahavi
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2012
     (10077.353)
    I'm of two minds about Gaspar Noé's Enter the Void. From a technical perspective, it is a very well executed and visually challenging. However, the cutting triggered my migraine, and I really, really hate Paz de la Huerta. As an actress, she's vastly overrated and useless. Argh. So the whole movie experience ended up being vomit-inducing and grating on my nerves. So from that perspective, it's a horrible, not-good, awful movie. Technically brilliant, but still awful.
  14.  (10077.354)
    Enter the Void was pretty, but after watching it for 2 hours it turned out only half an hour had gone by.
    So I turned it off.
    • CommentAuthorandycon
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2012
     (10077.355)
    madness
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2012 edited
     (10077.356)
    There is a whole plethora of cringe-stink movies that make me ashamed to live in England.Some of the later Carry On films robbed my soul of something precious and their influence can be felt to this day.I would try to explain but i don't like to think of it...

    Not the worst films made but i forced myself to watch DAREDEVIL(ok,i hated it)the other night and THE INCREDIBLE HULK is now on the box.It may be just me but i find Stan Lee doing his Alfred Hitchcock thing just a little irritating.Nothing major.Just a tad irksome.

    'nuff said.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2012 edited
     (10077.357)
    @apefist:Night of the Living Dead.One of my fav' films.I bought the 30th Anniversary Edition which included 15 minutes of new footage;15 minutes of,in my opinion,awful new crap which spoilt it.

    When i got a copy of Survival of the Dead i had to turn it off halfway.Seeing a female zombie riding around on a horse;Is that what things have come to?It's depiction of the Irish...sigh.I did get round to watching it all eventually and was sorely disappointed.

    Anyway,this thread is about WORST!FILM!EVER!It's a tricky subject as i have a tendency to enjoy some real low-budget,badly made,edited by a chimp,tasteless stuff...

    To be honest it's all the multiplex,blockbuster films which get to me now.You'd think that,being a sci-fi/horror fan,i would be up for seeing all the 3D,CGI-ridden stuff that seems to be out there but i'm not.I went to see a few 3D films in the eighties and they where bad.Really bad.

    I confess:i've not been to see one of the new batch of 3D films over the past few years and i've no real desire to.Am i just being a old,cynical bastard with a mistrust of change?If children enjoy them then i suppose that's good for them.Saying that,though,lots of 3D films are marketed for adults.

    CGI:When i was about 5 my mom took me to see 2001 and,even at that age,i loved it.To this day i still find the miniature models beautiful.I watched Moon again recently and i find the SFX in it more satisfying than a thousand viewings of Avatar.

    I will end this rant on a few words:THE SPIRIT.THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST.CONSTANTINE.What a lovely triple-bill that would be for me...
  18.  (10077.358)
    "Enter the Void was pretty, but after watching it for 2 hours it turned out only half an hour had gone by.
    So I turned it off. "


    HAHAHAHA! Brilliant! It's kind of true. I watched all of it. I guess I liked it a little more than you did.
  19.  (10077.359)
    My worst film of the last year has to be Wes Craven's My Soul to Take. It took me SIX AND A HALF MINUTES to become gratuitously fed up with the idiocy on show...
    • CommentAuthorGordon
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2012
     (10077.360)
    Twilight

    Now, I want to quickly stress that the only reason I inflicted this upon myself is because I was watching the Rifftrax version (piss-take commentaries from the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 team). Even with that buffer it was still a mind-raping experience. THIS pile of shit is one of the biggest franchises in the world today?! Everything about it is awful, from the acting (she acts fidgety for the whole film, he puts on one expression and resolutely keeps it until the end credits) and directing to the (lack of) plot and dialogue. Everything is as bad as it can possibly be while at no point becoming so bad it's funny. Well, maybe the bit where the cold, dead paedo (which is what that vampire guy is when you get right down to it) puts the dour-faced fidgeter on his back and 'super sprints' like the Roadrunner.

    And sparkly vampires?! Fuck. Off.

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