Not signed in (Sign In)
  1.  (10077.361)
    Just saw Freejack again. Haven't seen it since I made my Dad take me to see it in the theater. I hated Mick Jagger for a long time, and was hoping since he was a 'bad guy' in the movie I could watch him die. I was disappointed on several levels.
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2012
    I'm with tedcrowland, Samurai Cop is one of the worst films ever. I loved it.
    You just laugh from start to finish at all the horrible elements. Seriously, this film is so bad, yet so watchable.
    I think the greatest crime a film can commit is to be boring. Samurai Cop is not boring. It is just horrible.

    I had completely forgot about the existence of Freejack. What a piece of crap. I saw it in the theater as well.
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th 2012
    "Enter the Void was pretty, but after watching it for 2 hours it turned out only half an hour had gone by.
    So I turned it off. "

    The only film I've felt that about was The New World. What complete wankery.
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th 2012
    Somewhat hilariously, the US release of Enter the Void was missing the seventh reel and there's absolutely no change. You can pull a random entire reel from that thing and just not notice.
    • CommentAuthorfod_xp
    • CommentTimeFeb 9th 2012
    Title: Sanctum

    Reasons (and there are LOTS): It was discount day at the local theatre when I went to see a movie. The only two movies I had any interest in seeing, yet had fuckall knowledge about, were The King's Speech and Sanctum. Usually I go to theatres for loud action/Sci-fi movies just because it seems weird to me to watch a drama or comedy on the big screen. Something doesn't quite click, and trust me I have tried. So, guess which one I picked. *puts on dunce cap that says DUMBASS* I decided to watch Sanctum because it was an underwater movie and had James Cameron's name attached to it. I paid my $5 and went in. The theatre was packed, another headache, and the Movie began. IT WAS TWO FUCKING HOURS OF PURE MISOGYNISTIC CRAP!!! Within the first 10 FUCKING MINUTES the Australian woman drowned to death and the common theme of the movie was follow the old experienced cave diving pro, which ended up with everyone dying, including himself, except his punk bitch of a son.

    There characterization was schizophrenic, the caves looked like a Star Trek: OST build set, the CG was decades behind current standards and looked worse than Season 1 of Babylon 5, James Cameron only attached his name to the project because of a single 3D helicopter scene that was so cringe worthy to watch because it was blatantly fake and gave the middle finger to helicopter physics. Ioan Guffield was in it and at one point he flashed a light into his fiance's face while she was precariously hanging from an unstable line in a flooding section of the giant ass hole they were in, and that caused her hair to get caught in the rigging. Everyone kept telling to her NOT cut her hair with her knife, but for an entire 8 minutes she was caught in the rigging, which was tearing her scalp off, and the other three just stood there yelling at her to not do any thing. So she pulled the knife out, either because she had had enough of their shit and was going to prove them wrong....or she was going to prove them right and die. The latter happened and you get to see her dead bloated corpse 10 minutes later. There were three women in the movie and each of them died horribly and were constantly being berated and condescended to by this "Elite Cave Diver" that ended up getting everyone killed, except his son, who hated him, until they had a random scene where they were climbing a chasm to get out and the dad started quoting the Xanadu poem. Again, all of this might have worked with a better script that didn't call for the character to say one thing, do the complete opposite, then flip the reverse two minutes later. It was shit, and it became an utter chore to watch and by halfway through I wanted to leave, but didn't. Which meant by theatre policy I couldn't ask for a refund.

  2.  (10077.366)

    The New World worked for me, actually. I think the reason was that I could believe the characters were actually thinking the voiceovers we were overhearing, while in The Thin Red Line that was a huge problem for me. I'm sorry, but soldiers are not hippies. Soldiers HATE hippies.

    Had no desire to see The Tree Of Life, tho rather like one apocryphal story I heard abt it: at one screening there was a problem with the digital projection so that a scene was put on loop -- being a Terrence Malick film, no one noticed.
  3.  (10077.367)
    I thought Tree of Life was worth watching. I can't say I enjoyed it (like most Malick films), but as a person who works in film, I got something out of watching it. I think of Malick films as broccoli. You might not enjoy them necessarily, but you're better for consuming them.
  4.  (10077.368)
    Hey I really like broccoli.
  5.  (10077.369)
    I do too, but you know what I mean...
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2012
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJun 28th 2012
    Avatar made me hate papyrus font. Really? You can create a new language but you use the same damn font that every acupuncturist uses? HAVE SOME TASTE.
  6.  (10077.372)
    wait, you mean you liked that font before Avatar? I can forgive the fact that they didn't spend money to come up with a new font if they just spent a few bucks on a script...although that might be exactly the amount they spent on that script.
    • CommentTimeJun 29th 2012
    The script from /Avatar/ was really expensive to write, I'm sure, when it was /Dances with Wolves/. They paid so much for it, they had to use it twice.
    • CommentAuthorSteve Toase
    • CommentTimeJun 29th 2012 edited
    She by H Rider Haggard re-imagined as a post apocalyptic film
    Because the post apocalypse will be like this
      CommentAuthorWill Couper
    • CommentTimeJun 29th 2012 edited
    Recently, thanks to getting a Tivo box, I've been on a bit of a film-watching binge. This, as you can imagine has been something of a hit-or-miss business.

    A week or two ago I decided to put on a low-budget horror film called 'Dread'. It should have been called 'Dreadful'. It's of that school of horror film making that demands a bunch of unlikable, charisma voided characters glare at each other for most of the running time while nothing happens. The makers of this film manage to make the action, when it happens, just a boring as the rest of the film. That action being humourless, dead-eyed torture porn – just what everyone in the world was crying out for, dull torture porn!

    Oh, wait, no they didn't. They watched 'The Human Centipede' said fuck that jive and watched the original 'Halloween' instead.

  7.  (10077.376)
    @Will Couper
    Is Dread the CLive Barker adaptation about the students making a documentary on fear? Because that was dull.
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJun 29th 2012
    @William Joseph Dunn - I didn't like papyrus before Avatar, but I didn't have the passionate hate I have for it now, either. It was an overused font that I didn't really care much for, and then Avatar came around and made me flip my lid over it.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeJun 29th 2012
    I tried to watch something called Dark Heritage the other day, which was meant to be loosely based on a Lovecraft story. It had an age restriction of twelve on the box, so I wasn't expecting a splatter/ghoul/tentacle fest or anything. I think I groaned halfway through it, and then fell asleep.
    I also attempted to sit through the last 2001 Maniacs flick, which had bits of the comic in it at the beginning. It seemed so badly made that I ended up turning it off.

    I just remembered London Kills Me, which was filmed around Notting Hill. I lived there at the time, and that had a cringe-worthy story. Depressing.

    I was an extra for a Paul McCartney video, but I'll save that for my nightmares. You can't see me in it, thank God!
  8.  (10077.379)
    Yeah, RobSpalding, that was the very one. Clive Barker was one of about half a dozen producers.

    • CommentTimeJul 1st 2012
    (I only seem to show up when someone's mentioned something I've seen... I'm not much of a movie-watcher. :( )
    Oh, that 2001 Maniacs sequel was awful. I went into it w/ high hopes, despite the plot (seriously? a parody of The Simple Life, that reality show w/ Paris Hilton? Many years after its relevance?), mainly 'cause I thought Bill Moseley and Nivek Orge did a good job in Repo! The Genetic Opera (which has its own major problems, but it's definitely not "worst movie ever" material).


    It's kinda interesting how many of these terrible movies are horror movies. Not surprising, but interesting.