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    • CommentAuthorDC
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2011
    Talking about Burton, Sweeney Todd, the story was awfully written, it worried more about songs than the characters. The only think I like in it is the soundtrack.
  1.  (10077.162)
    Speed 2 - Remember that one? No? You lucky Bastards!

    Other than that... any Guy Ritchie mockney shite - the unfortunate result of someone reading a Kray twin biog, watching too much Eastenders and mistaking their resultant drunken ideas for feasible film plots

    On a side note, the Crash everyone's talking about - I assume this is the Hollywood Crash and not the Cronenberg one, yes?
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2011
    Sweeney Todd was a huge disappointment and really put me off Burton. And I loved that guy, too. (It also disappointed me with Sondheim, whom I totally dig. He signed off on the whole thing even though it wrecked some of the greatest points of his show.)
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2011 edited
    Title: Ator the invincible
    Circumstances: Suffice to say when I was a kid I thought this was the coolest thing ever.
    Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Miles O'Keefe starring as the most improbable Conan spoof ever. A director known for his porn movies. Shot without a script. Hang gliding.

    Title: "Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam"
    Circumstances: Crazy visual arts students in a late night trash marathon.
    Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Quite popular amongst Star Wars fans. There's no words to describe this one.

  2.  (10077.165)
    Nobody's mentioned Gymkata yet. I'm amazed.
    • CommentAuthorSteerpike
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2011
    Gymkata is for people who haven't seen Never Too Young To Die.

    Let's go to the (virtual) videotape:

    How about some more of Gene Simmons as Velvet Von Ragnar?
  3.  (10077.167)
    I remember seeing 'Never Too Young To Die' when I was a kid, and all I can recall of it is the drag Gene Simmons shooting someone with a shotgun. It think that's for the best.

    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2011
    Suffice to say when I was a kid I thought this was the coolest thing ever.

    Yeah, I know that feeling. If any of you have treasured childhood memories of Spaceballs, do your best to keep them that way.
  4.  (10077.169)
    If this thread goes on long enough every film I own will be disrespected!
  5.  (10077.170)
    Wes Anderson has taken his first step onto that slippery slope alongside Tim Burton, with Fantastic Mr Fox. Trying to rewrite Roald Dahl is never a wise idea.
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2011
    blade 3
  6.  (10077.172)

    I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell–based on the shocking, ridiculous and hilarious real life adventures of Tucker Max–is the story of an impromptu bachelor party gone horribly awry thanks to a midget, a fat girl, a gaggle of strippers, an overly destructive public intoxication ordinance, and the consequence of Tucker’s unflinching narcissism.

    This movie was suggested to me by a convicted meth dealer. God knows why I thought it would be a good idea. My girlfriend didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening, and I only watched maybe the first ten minutes.

    The only thing redeeming about this film, is the fact that it was based on the book of some douchebag who collected all of his ridiculous stories into a book, and made a shitload of money off of it. That makes me think that I could do the same thing.
  7.  (10077.173)
  8.  (10077.174)
    this is either the worst movie ever or the best you decide:

  9.  (10077.175)
    or is this the best movie ever?

    my favorite part is when he cuts the guys arm off and hits him with it. and all with out a drop of blood
  10.  (10077.176)


    But then again it was probably the most hilarious movie I've ever seen as well, so I just can't hate it.

    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2011
    No, no. THIS is the best fight scene in possibly the worst movie in the world: ROBOT

      CommentAuthormuse hick
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2011
    Movie: Dragonheart
    Circumstances: I wanted to go watch this because a certain girl was going.
    Reasons For Soulchunder Revulsion: It has Sean Connery as a fucking dragon - which is unintentionally hilarious. David Thewlis being in this made me want to cry. Oh, and there was a bit with a really fucking loud boom on the soundtrack which made me empty a family bucket of popcorn on the girl.

    Movie: The Happening
    Circumstances: We paid for this to be streamed through the TV and sat there in disbelief. We sat through it expecting that maybe there would be a twist; something that save the film ... there wasn't.
    Reasons for soulchunder revulsion: Mark Wahlberg being as wooden as the trees; well, in fact more wooden, considering the trees and the grass were dangerous; john leguizamo's moustache; the many stupid deaths by tiger and lawnmower for instance; the awful fucking script.

    Movie: Rocky and Bulwinkle - does the reason that this makes me want to disown Robert Deniro even have to be gone into?
  11.  (10077.179)
    Rock bottom of my list, not even making the "so bad it's good" list.


    It's a supposedly artsy-fartsy mexican movie. It's the most terrible thing ever. I kid you not: people left the theater in hordes, something that it's VERY rare in Mexico, where we mostly sit like good boys and girls even if we hate the movie and our standards, especially when it comes about mexican movies, is VERY low.
  12.  (10077.180)
    Worst being the utterly subjective term that it is...

    Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

    I'm one of those people who believes that there was always a quality story in the Street Fighter games waiting to be told and have never been able to understand why it is so hard to get a coherent movie out of a game that is, for all intents and purposes, Enter the Dragon. So, I followed the lead up to this film with some excitement: supposedly a more serious tone, the director of Cradle 2 the Grave and Romeo must Die (goofy movies, but fun in the right ways) and a reasonably strong cast (Kristen Kruek, Neal McDonough, Michael Clarke Duncan) in roles that they actually fit.

    Reason for Soul-Chundering revulsion: Putting aside the fact that for a fighting movie, the fight scenes were RIDICULOUS, the movie begins to fall apart right around the point where Robin Shou turns up. And then, just before they get into the backstory of Bison, the whole movie descends into logic-defying gibberish, and, finally, it ends (and bear in mind this is supposed to be the prequel to the Street Fighter story) with Bison getting killed and Nash surviving, totally giving the finger to the SF canon.

    I've seen plenty of crap movies, even ones with talented crews and high production values. This is the only one I was personally offended by.

    Honorable mentions:

    Spiderman 3: for Raimi saying "screw plot, tone and coherence: I want to do a musical!"

    Planet of the Apes (Tim Burton): for being boring up until the end, and having the ending be total Shark Bukkake.


    Watchmen: which wasn't a bad movie so much as it was a wholesale conceptual failure. The entire premise of the movie hinges on the portrayal of Costumed Heroes as damaged human beings. That idea doesn't play if you portray your movie's characters as walking action figures. I'm of the opinion that Zack Snyder is typical of many a comics fan in that he was so enamoured with the appearance of a story that he neglected to understand what made the story work.