In Egyptian mythology, Sekhmet (also spelled Sachmet, Sakmet, Sakhet, Sekmet, Sakhmet and Sekhet; and given the Greek name, Sachmis), was originally the warrior goddess as well as goddess of healing for Upper Egypt. She is depicted as a lioness, the fiercest hunter known to the Egyptians. It was said that her breath created the desert. She was seen as the protector of the pharaohs and led them in warfare.

During an annual festival held at the beginning of the year, a festival of intoxication, the Egyptians danced and played music to soothe the wildness of the goddess and drank great quantities of beer ritually to imitate the extreme drunkenness that stopped the wrath of the goddess—when she almost destroyed humankind.

Marvellous stuff, John - a great opening entry. Who's got the rocks to follow?

SCORES of disappointed rioters queued up this morning to return goods they had mistakenly looted from Games Workshop.

What the fuck is this when it's at home?
The crestfallen thieves had raided the store hoping for a PS3 or Nintendo bounty but arrived home to find they had stolen a box containing 300 unpainted Orcs and a board game called Beyond the Ultraforest of Kwang.

Martin Bishop, 19, said: "I am returning The Runering of Fangor.

"It includes two dice, each with about 40 sides and instructions on how to gain the trust of a 'cloud wizard'.

"And yet somehow I'm the fucking bad guy."

He added: "Nevertheless I am now immune to Dwarven magic, so it hasn't been a complete waste of time."

Meanwhile, historical kitsch outlet Past Times reported the return of a pair or resin bookends in the shape of the Egyptian cat-god Sekhmet and 254 teak statues of a fat, reclining Buddha.