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  1.  (10146.41)
    Or i will come there and hug you. And you don't want that....

    Hahaha... The medics say I might be able to breathe unaided in a few months, but the steel pins are there permanently.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeAug 13th 2011
    Yeah, gotta laff.Or sneer.Or anything.Medics..
  2.  (10146.43)
    nonono... not sneering at all.

    Bob's ManHugs, as some of us found out at the london meetup a couple of weeks back, are somewhat robust...
    • CommentAuthorZJVavrek
    • CommentTimeAug 13th 2011
    Congratulations! What's your field/specialty?
    • CommentAuthoricelandbob
    • CommentTimeAug 13th 2011
    but they be full on manlove! Gentle Ben was my dad!
    • CommentTimeAug 13th 2011
    Well, I've just cracked open Sierra Nevada number *mumble*, and have just put Franks Wild Years on for a listen. I don't think I've played this, as an album, in....a while.

    I find life less that satisfying lately, and is largely my own fault. I've gotten myself around to where I'm fairly well broken, wasted the low-hanging fruit, squandered my potential, and generally have not been facing up to things.

    On the other hand, I still have a roof over my head, and can still afford to drink Sierra Nevada. So there's that.

    The bats are in the belfrey,
    the dew is on the moor.
    Where are the arms that held me
    And pledged to love before,
    And pledged to love before?

    It's such a sad old feeling,
    the hills are soft and green.
    Its memories that I'm stealing,
    but you're innocent when you dream, when you dream,
    You're innocent when you dream.

    Thanks for being there, Whitechapel. I know I haven't been coming around much lately. It isn't you, its me. Really.
    • CommentTimeAug 13th 2011 edited
    I'm absolutely knackered, Whitechapel. Admittedly a sizable portion of my exhaustion is attributable to my own tail-chasing neuroses.
    But if you're gonna be tired it might as well be from doing something you love...and ten months or so later, we've finally released our little EP.
    Some friends of mine shot this video last night:
  3.  (10146.48)
    Week: This was the last week of work for my more fun and reliable co-worker. So I'll miss the banter and discussions. He said we'd still hang out but I highly doubt it. And for some good news, the duplex I was interested in hasn't been sold, and it seems like the seller wants to wait for 4 to 6 more months, which would give me time to build a credit score etc. So who knows? I've also been playing my uke more, and am starting to even get decent at some songs. My co-workers ask for performances and seem to think I'm ok, so that's a great encouragement. I've decided it's ok that I'm not really drawing because at least I'm still doing creative things.

    Hate: My dad lacks an inside voice when he's on the phone. I don't care what time of day it is, I don't like being woken up because he's talking too loudly.

    Love: Hmmm... Puns. British comedy. Stories. Beautiful art. Mythology. Folk Tales. Fairy Tales. Anansi Stories Well, those last four go with stories, but you know.

    Pissing me off: While I am off the pill, I have a raging libido for at least a week or two every month. I also lack a
    boyfriend/fuck buddy or whatever. If I'm on the pill, the libido stops being so overwhelming, but I gain weight even faster than I have been already. Also, I already have crap self control with food and exercise.

    What's broken about the world: Too many to list. London riots, US politics/Economy, my lack of motivation for things I should want.

    What I want: I'm not sure. My own place would be a good start. A pretty boy to talk to about interesting things with and to have hot sex with. As long as we don't have to talk about feelings too often until we've really gotten to know each other. Really boring predictable stuff really.

    How I plan to change everything: Hah. Yeah right.

    What's next: My mom and I are planning on a weekend (Friday morning through Saturday night) in the Twin Cities. I actually set up a thread regarding that. I'm hoping a meetup happens. Wouldn't a meetup be lovely?
  4.  (10146.49)
    Fucking week from hell!!!

    First and foremost: I had to retriev some paintings I left for months in a friend's bar. These were the paintings that I had presented for the faculty's final exhibition, with wich I graduated. I finally got a vehicle to transport everything from the bar to home, then, once in the bar, my friend told me that two boxes with my paintings where missplaced; apparentely, the guy who sells him booze took the boxes by mistake. So, he started to phone this guy to see if the paintings where somwhere to be found, with no result. Yesterday I told my friend to give me the guy's phone numbers so I could put some pressure meself. I spent the whole day talking with this one guy, then with another one, who supposedly was the one who went to the bar to retrieve the unselled wine boxes and mistakenly took my boxes. So this third guy explained me that there was no way he could have mistook the boxes with the paintings for the boxes with wine bottles; yadda yadda yadda, no one knows what happened with my boxes. Gonna have to wait until monday, then me and my friend will go to the storage to ask so we can look for my boxes ourselves.

    The cherry for the cake: today at work, customers where more assholes than usual. And, at closing time, my key got stuck and I got shut down at the store for almost two hours, that is until the locksmith came. Oh, and I put a thermos badly closed in my bag, so it dripped water and some drawins got wet.
    • CommentTimeAug 13th 2011

    Thanks! It's an MA in War Studies. Which I know I know sounds a bit intense. If they had just called it International Relations and Security which is what it is I would have approximately 47.33% less embarrassment when telling people this.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeAug 14th 2011
    once again must piss around wit my server.existential teen anxiety off tappin in shit that dont leave confines o own mind is foookin hideous!
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeAug 14th 2011
    gotta keep it thru the nite.ta for threat of hug icelandbob.its the small things that help!where i live in London is crack and heroin central..bit like most of this fooked up city.Ive somehow managed to get off state horror of methadone maintenence BUT stil usin lesser evil of another today im doing this in my gaff,watchin Corrie and toying with the idea of going to a meeting and hoping to see someone with a Planetary or AUTHORITY or Grendel or even a bleedin Batman T shirt on..then i would share like the mean old bastad i am..
  5.  (10146.53)
    Sunday morning, first day back at work in a week after being on vacation.

    I took my daughter and my girlfriend out west of San Antonio, to Hill Country, where we stayed in a little log cabin with no TV, no cell reception, no internet, no microwave. My daughter is more hooked on Internets than I am. She lives with her mother and mom's boyfriend, and they're both programmers. So I thought cutting that cord briefly would be a good idea.

    We spent one day hiking and swimming in natural waters, one day riding horses, which neither the kid nor I had done before, one day looking at bats in a cave, and one day at a little water park, enjoying some more modern recreation.

    I learned a bit, about how bad the drought really affects these ranches. Some of them have to have water shipped in to keep their livestock alive. The bats in Devil's Sinkhole have dwindled from 4 million to a couple hundred. Not that all have the bats have died, but they have left their normal habitats because there is no food.

    Texas has been growing on me. I grew up outside Chicago, and later lived in the windy city. I always had a prejudiced view of the South in general, and Texas along with it. When I first moved to Texas, I lived in Austin for quite a while, which is no small town, and very liberal, and still encouraged my "anti-redneck" opinions. The stereotypes are just that. I've met so many hard working people in the Hill Country; ranchers, farmers, etc. and we never discussed politics or religion, mostly because it never came up. But those people made me and my family welcome. It may have been because we were vacationing tourists, and they need the income, but I truly felt it's because that's how they are; friendly welcoming good-natured folk.

    I don't listen to a lot of country, normally, I don't like it. But since we were out in the country, I brought out my Johnny Cash, my O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack, and a few others. A week later, my daughter (who professes to like Lady Gaga, but cannot name any of her songs) was singing along to "I'll Fly Away" and "Big Rock Candy Mountain."
  6.  (10146.54)
    So, the company I work for is moving. Which is good, 2 offices will become 1, which SHOULD help with the god awful communication we have.

    BUT, they have left the bulk of the work to 1 guy (no, not me) and he is about to crack.
    People who don't know all the facts are giving opinions and he is too nice to just tell everyone to back the fuck up and let him work.
    Enter me, who unexpectedly had to work a 13 hour day on Friday.
    And then another 8 on Sat.
    Now it's sunday, I'm 3 hours into what is likely a 12 hours shift and thinking...I have a fucking 9-5 gig, what am i doing?

    I'm spending far too much time on some one else's dream and if I get even a thank you for it I'll be surprised.
    In fact the only reason I am willing to work this weekend, is cause the guy left to do it all is just way too nice to leave stranded.

    If I was in his position, the company would go through some really shitty times next week but maybe, just maybe it would force everyone to get their shit together.

    Ah well, another weekend and the freelance gig I have been doing afterhours for the last year will be done, my debt will be slightly lower and the short film in my head screaming to get out will get put on paper.

    Thanks for listening whitechapel, gotta get back to it.
  7.  (10146.55)
    Have to write a 12,000 word dissertation in three weeks. Currently have 14,500 words of organized quotations and notes. It's doable, right?

    Topic is the role of teleology / God / religion in Adam Smith's thought. Man was so reticent about the issue it's impossible to give an uncomplicated answer. It's thesis-worthy, in other words.

    Celebrating the mother's b'day tmrw. She has organized a fancy restaurant, and is now making her own cake, because she (wisely) doesn't trust anyone else to do anything. She's extra special / crazy and I love her for it. She'll hopefully like the prezzies I got her -- DVDs of two of her fave films (Amadeus + The Age of Innocence) which she had on video but cannot watch because we threw the VHS player out aaages ago. And a pricey cafetiere, because she needs her coffee in the morning.

    Now back to work.
  8.  (10146.56)
    Lost my main, desktop computer last night. Major hard drive failure. I've been slowly transitioning into the laptop as my primary unit anyway, but I hadn't fully made the change and so I'm stuck trying to figure out what all's been lost. So far, it's been mostly software, which can be easily replaced. I've made a habit of emailing most of my writing to myself, so any stories in progress have copies in my email box, as does a copy of the file for the upcoming Kindle book, although I don't think I sent out the last batch of edits, so I have to do all that over again.

    Of course the excel spreadsheets that catalog all of my books and comics and such were on that computer. So, gotta do all that over again. sigh.
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2011
    ...I guess I actually do have something to complain about.

    My left hip hurts so that I can barely walk. My shoulders feel like someone stuck a knife in them. My left hand keeps going slightly numb. I've worn at least one blister on my foot. And, because, I couldn't get everything I needed to do today done (which I know isn't entirely my fault as I kept getting more work added and my managers failed to let me know that they'd be gone most of the day and therefore unable to do things I absolutely needed done), I feel like a complete and utter waste of humanity. It just feels like I'm wearing myself down to dust there, and I have neither the time or the money to do anything to fix myself. I know, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not bad off. But the fella had to go to the emergency room a while back, and now we owe them over 600 dollars, for sitting in a room for a couple of hours to wait on blood work that came back okay anyway. We have no extra money. Not for anything that involves the medical industry.

    Driving home from work today, for a split second, I wondered how I could slam my car into the rock wall in a way to kill myself quickly.
    I'm frightened.
    I don't like feeling this hopeless about my (our; the fella was depressed when I got home, completely separate from mine but likely similar) life.
    And I can't even afford to see a therapist about it.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2011

    Have you considered calling a hotline? They may have resources in your area that can help.
    And I think I speak for a number of people here when I say, please, don't do any harm to yourself.
  9.  (10146.59)
    I have just finished reading Fullmetal Alchemist today and I'm still in the happy daze. The ending was awesome, the last chapter made me cry throughout it (the last two things to hit me so strongly were Bone and Scott Pilgrim I believe). And now after finishing this thing I can't stand looking at the endless superhero soap operas that Marvel and DC publish. Because neither Batman nor Spider-man will ever lead to an amazing conclusion, they'll just keep on being published until the interest fizzles out and so will these stories... they'll fizzle out or get cancelled mid-arc or whatever.

    Basically, the whole adventure was amazing, but the ending made worth it. All this build up, all these characters, it all amounts to something. A never-ending title will never amount to anything.

    This made me sit down and think again about what I want to achieve with my own work.
    • CommentTimeAug 15th 2011
    @Aurora - Sweet! I'm watching Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood via AdultSwim. I'm taking my time with it (so please no spoilers) but I really like how it's rolling out as it barrels into the last ten episodes. the plot is surprisingly complex and every strike and counterstrike, ploy, gambit, blow and deflection has a host of consequences that develop into moves the other side can exploit. It's like a really taut game of Risk (I'm guessing, I've never played };P). So I'm definitely looking forward to how it all wraps up.

    I watched Fullmetal Alchemist before, the one that starts in the same place but diverges about midway through because the manga wasn't finished. I thought that it was stunningly impressive. I mean just gorgeous, you'd have to go to Cowboy Bebop or something to find another anime with as much subtext and nuance in the characterization. FMA:B isn't that nuanced for the characters, but what it lacks in emotional depth it easily makes up breathtaking plot twists.

    More than once I've thought of writing to Hiromu Arakawa to ask what she read when studying up on alchemy. And, you know, generally to thank her for the awesome work.

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