2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/ Lussumo Vanilla & Feed Publisher http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=306601#Comment_306601 2011-08-17T21:34:46-07:00 2011-08-17T21:37:40-07:00 Purple Wyrm http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6726

I was thinking today about that subset of humour that's impenetrable to outsiders because they lack local cultural knowledge essential to the punchline. For instance, "What's hairy, smells ...

"What's hairy, smells of fish and rhymes with 'funt'?"

Australians are likely to at least be somewhat amused by the answer "Rex Hunt", but anyone else in the world would be left scratching their heads and wondering what the hell's wrong with us.

Similarly here in Perth anyone who lives in the suburbs of Innaloo or Upper Swan will be grimly aware of the sniggers their domiciles elicit, whereas a visitor from Sydney would need an explanation...

"Where do you live?"
"Innaloo"
"And you?"
"Upper Swan"

So, assuming you're still with me, what jokes are appreciated in your neck of the woods, but puzzle the hell out of outsiders? (With explanations where necessary)]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=306609#Comment_306609 2011-08-18T00:15:48-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 PatrickBrown http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1800

A couple of Belfast ones (where I'm from): Couple of guys are walking down the street when they hear recorded music. "Unforgettable..." "That's Nat King Cole" says one. ...

Couple of guys are walking down the street when they hear recorded music. "Unforgettable..." "That's Nat King Cole" says one. "Well who is it then?" says the other.

Guy gets into a taxi and says "Ladas Drive, please". Taxi driver says "you'll sit in the back like everybody else".

A Glaswegian one:

Guy goes into a bakery, points at one of the items, and says "is that a cake or a meringue?" The assistant says "aye, it's a cake".]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=306614#Comment_306614 2011-08-18T01:13:35-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 Lazarus99 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=3143

Actually, most of the above are self explanatory if you say them out loud in the appropriate accent...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=306654#Comment_306654 2011-08-18T12:34:45-07:00 2011-08-18T12:35:26-07:00 Alan Tyson http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1299

@Patrick Brown: I get the first two, but I'm lost on the meringue/cake one. EDIT: Wait, wait... "Or am I wrong." Ah. Ahah. Heehee. I get it now.

EDIT: Wait, wait... "Or am I wrong."

Ah. Ahah. Heehee. I get it now.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=306656#Comment_306656 2011-08-18T12:41:47-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 mybrainhurts http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1584

This article in the Guardian has a bunch of examples from around the world.

This article in the Guardian has a bunch of examples from around the world.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=306672#Comment_306672 2011-08-18T15:12:49-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 PatrickBrown http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1800

I actually took a bus to Ladas Drive this afternoon, and the driver did that joke.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307477#Comment_307477 2011-08-25T02:00:30-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 cardo http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=8379

Another Scottish one... A glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time. He says ''This is Amanda.'' His dad jumps up. ''It's a fucking what?''

A glaswegian lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time. He says ''This is Amanda.'' His dad jumps up. ''It's a fucking what?'']]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307492#Comment_307492 2011-08-25T06:05:14-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 fat face rick http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2709

What's the difference between Cardo and Walt Disney? Cardo tells Scottish jokes, and Walt Disney

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307512#Comment_307512 2011-08-25T09:45:33-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 Jason A. Quest http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=5192

We don't have an accent where I live, so there are none of those kinds of jokes. OK, we have an accent, but it's essentially the one they use on American television, so everybody understands it.

OK, we have an accent, but it's essentially the one they use on American television, so everybody understands it.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307709#Comment_307709 2011-08-27T22:14:40-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 trini_naenae http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=183

@PatrickBrown: Interestingly, I didn't get the first one, but the other two were easy enough. @mybrainhurts: I enjoyed the article, thank you. @fat face rick: I'm not sure on that one. Is Walt ...

@mybrainhurts: I enjoyed the article, thank you.

@fat face rick: I'm not sure on that one. Is Walt Disney supposed to be pronounced Walt didn't he?]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307716#Comment_307716 2011-08-28T00:35:54-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 PatrickBrown http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1800

trini - in Belfast, "not" is often pronounced "nat", and "disnae" is Scots for "doesn't".

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307725#Comment_307725 2011-08-28T03:55:22-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 roadscum http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=7712

I thought the trouble with Ladas was that most of the time they didn't drive, you had to push 'em...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307787#Comment_307787 2011-08-29T01:57:17-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 Lazarus99 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=3143

^Hmm...nope, don't get it...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307792#Comment_307792 2011-08-29T04:54:58-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 Purple Wyrm http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6726

I think Ladas = Lardarse in that last one, Lardass being a term of derision for a fat, and presumably lazy person. Although I could be completely wrong :)

think Ladas = Lardarse in that last one, Lardass being a term of derision for a fat, and presumably lazy person.

Although I could be completely wrong :)]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307793#Comment_307793 2011-08-29T04:58:39-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 taphead http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2284

"Let us drive", I thought?

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307794#Comment_307794 2011-08-29T05:07:43-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 teasmaid http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=3689

A Lada is a particularly crappy Russian car.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307800#Comment_307800 2011-08-29T05:58:59-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 PatrickBrown http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1800

A Lada is a crappy Russian car, but taphead has got the joke right.

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307811#Comment_307811 2011-08-29T09:22:31-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 Jason A. Quest http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=5192

Understanding the "Ladas Drive" joke is made difficult not only by the need to "hear" and interpret the accent, but also by the need to understand that "us" is often ...

singular pronoun.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=307997#Comment_307997 2011-08-31T07:04:32-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 roadscum http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=7712

Errm, yes, sorry about that, i should probably have kept that little gem to myself. No doubt the whole line of Lada/Skoda jokes (Why do Ladas have heated rear screens? To keep your hands warm in the ...

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=308035#Comment_308035 2011-08-31T14:01:19-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 Alan Tyson http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1299

I dunno, I got the Ladas drive one right away... The Jewish tradition of "Herschel jokes" (Herschel being a faithful and generally virtuous man, but also kinda dim in the brain ...

The Jewish tradition of "Herschel jokes" (Herschel being a faithful and generally virtuous man, but also kinda dim in the brain department) are some of my favorites. They've shown up in various guises all over the world, but they humor is so quintessentially Jewish that you almost can't call them anything but Herschel jokes.]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=308135#Comment_308135 2011-09-01T14:02:22-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 Jason A. Quest http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=5192

@Alan: So did I. I was just pointing out why that shows how brilliant I am. :)

http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=309354#Comment_309354 2011-09-14T12:12:11-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 eDave http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4771

@alan tyson : tell us one then! (please) black country humour enoch and eli are fishing over the side of a bridge. eli drops the rod but reckons if enoch holds his feet he can dangle over the ...

black country humour

enoch and eli are fishing over the side of a bridge. eli drops the rod but reckons if enoch holds his feet he can dangle over the edge and just about reach it. he's been down there a minute or two and then says 'pull us up pull us up!'.

enoch says 'have you got the rod?' and eli says 'no, there's a train coming!'.

there are comedians round here (the west midlands) whose entire act consists of enoch and eli jokes and when they tell them, they are funny.

btw, you don't hear anyone start a joke with 'I say, I say, I say' any more, do you?]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=309356#Comment_309356 2011-09-14T13:47:34-07:00 2011-09-14T13:52:32-07:00 Alan Tyson http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1299

Alright, so Herschel jokes (we Catholics have our own nigh-identical versions, but they don't have a named character the way the Jewish ones do) aren't so much culture-specific, as in you won't get ...

Herschel the Good Rabbi needs money to fix up his temple, but the funds simply are not there. He decides that he's going to try and win the lottery, and donate all the money to the temple. "A grand idea!" his friends say, "but that's quite a long shot. You'll need God's help with that, for sure." And so Herschel, because he is a faithful man, prays every night before he goes to bed, and every morning after he wakes up, "Please, God, let me win this lottery so that I can do your works!"

Now, several months go by, but Herschel never gets that phone call saying that he's just won 20 million dollars. So, he tells his plan to the whole temple, and they all agree that they, too, will pray every night before they go to bed, and every morning after they wake up, "Please, God, let Rabbi Herschel win this lottery so that he can do your works!"

Ten years go by, and poor, faithful Herschel still hasn't won the lottery. His temple is in need of fixing, he's become a bitter and frustrated man, and barely any the temple-goers pray for a lottery win anymore. One night, Herschel prays before going to bed, but instead of asking to win the lottery, Herschel asks "God, my God, God of Abraham, have I not been a faithful and dutiful servant? Have I not led your people on the right path, have I not promised to use the money only in your Name? Tell me, God, what have I done wrong, why haven't I won the lottery yet?"

And, much to his surprise, Herschel hears a booming voice echo through his room. "Heeerschelll," the voice says. "Heeeerschelllll, my son...

You have to buuuuy a lottery ticket!"

***

Like that? Here's another, one that got REAL popular in my hometown of Cedar Rapids back in 2008, when the levees broke and most of the city suffered an apocalyptic flood. It's a bit long, so apologies in advance.

***

Father Hank, the pious Catholic priest (what the hell, let's switch it up a little) turns on his TV one night to watch the news. "Big storm coming," a guy from the National Weather Service says, "biggest I've ever seen, folks. We're looking at more than a foot of rain overnight, and the National Guard is already on standby in case of a flood. Honestly, ladies and gentlemen, this could be the worst spring storm on record - I'd start making plans for a vacation in the high country."

"Bah," Father Hank says, waving his hand at the TV. "This town is full of good people. God will keep anything too terrible from happening to us.

But sure enough, next week the rains come, and the levees and sandbags that the Nat Guards set up can't hold back the river. Water rushes down the streets, and pours into basements. Father Hank wakes up to the sound of someone pounding on his door. "Father Hank, this is the fire department! We're evacuating all of downtown, we've got a truck outside waiting for you, get dressed and come on!"

"No thank you," Father Hank says. "God will protect me."

The firefighters argue with him for a bit, but eventually they move on - they've got other people to evacuate, and surely the good Father will see reason eventually. Father Hank makes a cup of coffee, and thanks God ahead of time for saving him.

The rains don't quit, and as afternoon turns into evening, the streets have become canals. Dumpsters and cars are being washed away, and whole waterlogged houses are leaning into the rushing water. Father Hank's church is holding on for now, but Father Hank has to rush up to the roof to stay dry. After a while, a Zodiac inflatable raft zips by, full of guys in camo fatigues and life preservers. "Father Hank!" one of them yells. "I'm Sergeant Willis, with the National Guard! This whole area's being evacuated, we've got to get you out of here!"

"No thanks," Father Hank says, waving the Guards away. "God will protect me!"

The Guards argue with him, but the current is picking up again, and they can't stay on station without wasting fuel. They radio back to base to tell them about the priest, and then move on to find anyone else trapped by the flood.

Now, night falls, and along with the flood a terrible midwestern windstorm has swept in off the plains, and is whipping the water into a frenzy, and causing plenty of damage on its own. Poor, faithful Father Hank is reduced to hanging onto the crucifix atop his church, arms wrapped around it for dear life, as the wind howls and the water sprays up into his face. He hears the sound of helicopter blades, and looks up to see a white helicopter hovering over him, a searchlight shining down like the light of heaven itself. "Father Hank!" a voice booms out through a bullhorn. "We're with FEMA! The whole town's gonna go under, we gotta get you outta here! We're lowering a rope now, grab on!" Sure enough, they start lowering the rope ladder, with a FEMA guy on the other end, reaching out to take the priest's hand.

Father Hank almost reaches for it, but yells back "I'm a man of God! If I can't trust Him to save me from this, then what right to I have to call myself a priest? Go on, save the others: God will protect me!"

Oh, how those FEMA boys try to save the old priest anyway, but the winds are so strong that the helicopter is blown off course, and the guy on the ladder has to be brought back up. By the time the winds die down enough for them to go back, they see that the crucifix has snapped off, and the poor, good, faithful Father Hank is nowhere to be seen.

Father Hank wakes up a little while later, standing on fluffy white clouds, the music of angels all around him. He is greeted by a white-bearded man in an immaculate robe, and Hank knows this has to be God. "God," Father Hank says. "Not that I'm ungrateful for admitting me into heaven, but... I had faith that you would save me! I waited for your deliverance! Why did you let me die?"

And God, who is called Yawheh, Allah, and a host of other names, shakes his head, sighs, and puts his hand on Hank's shoulder. "Hank," God says. "I sent a guy from the National Weather Service, I sent firemen, I sent the National Guard, I even sent FEMA to go help you. What more do you want?"]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=309361#Comment_309361 2011-09-14T15:19:04-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 icelandbob http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=5250

Some Scots humour...

]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=309363#Comment_309363 2011-09-14T15:28:27-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 Yskaya http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1359

'Moet je de geit uitlaten?' is a phrase that Kim Thompson struggled with. When you know it/have heard a similar joke it's a no-brainer. the fantagraphics blog tells the silly but not so silly ...

'Moet je de geit uitlaten?' is a phrase that Kim Thompson struggled with. When you know it/have heard a similar joke it's a no-brainer. the fantagraphics blog tells the silly but not so silly translators dilemma best :)]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=309391#Comment_309391 2011-09-15T00:40:04-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 eDave http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4771

thanks alan. the joke about the priest is one of my favourites - it's funny but also wise (strokes chin)

wise (strokes chin)]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10159&Focus=309398#Comment_309398 2011-09-15T03:56:59-07:00 2013-05-21T19:13:49-07:00 cardo http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=8379

@fat face rick - touche! I could go on, but I think we've saturated the thread with Scottish banter.