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  1.  (10163.1)
    You know how this goes by now, right?

    Open Mic is a tradition founded by Spacedaddy Warren. I'm experimenting with launching it on Fridays rather than Sundays, on the grounds that most of us have accumulated a working-week's-worth of toxicity and hatred, and the sooner we can trepan our collective psyches the better.

    To paraphrase herr Ellis:

    This is your judgement-free space to vent, get stuff out of your head and otherwise experience special Internet Catharsis. Screaming into a well, 21C-style.

    Instructions: Tell us about your week. Tell us what you hate, what you love, what's pissing you off. Tell us what's broken about the world, tell us what you want. Tell us how you plan to change everything, tell us what you're building in your basement, or, hell, just dance or play a tune.

    I, we, and all of us are here for you. Smash your wordvenom against us.
  2.  (10163.2)
    The week started off quiet, but now the wife and kids are back from their extra week in Spain, noise rules supreme.
    the first couple of days the solitude was a novelty, but I miss the mayhem of having the wife and 3 kids about!
    The only downer my wife had was that her bag was stolen in Spain - the cards were cancelled straight away and the sim for the phone was blocked, the annoying thing is the photos of the holiday she had stored on it!

    Now organising work and site visits for next week, so that will be mayhem too!
  3.  (10163.3)
    beer. lots of beer. a parking ticket at some point, and a bit of work in between, but mostly beer. I'm torn as to whether I should wander out, but important life rule #3 (if you've been drinking, and you make it home safely, STAY THERE) is currently in play. then again, the beer in my fridge has probably been there long enough to go skunky on me, and sleep is a ways off, so it may turn into a situation where rule 3 gets bent, broken, or ignored. we'll see.
  4.  (10163.4)
    I'm repeating what I already said in the Vile Hugging thread really.

    Blah blah blah got paid for doing absolutely no work blah blah freelancing for a magazine on a temporary basis for a lot of money blah blah still unemployed.

    Much better than last week.
    • CommentAuthorsnafu
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
    Crappy week. Found out Wednesday I may be getting laid off after only one project and after I relocated my family across the country. There's still some hope but it's slim. That would be 3 job changes in less that 2 years. Worst run ever.
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
    @snafu - That's tough, especially after relocating for it. Hope you find something better. Job hunting sucks.

    Finally got together a half decent script for the animation I'm working on this semester. The last one had to be put down; it was unwell. Pretty excited about the new one and got some good feedback. Slightly terrified about actually making it, because there's so many techniques & processes I've never tried, but I should learn a hell of a lot.
    Also, I submitted something I made a while back to a student animation film fest and got accepted, so this week I got to see something I made up on the big screen at one of my favourite venues. It was surreal and quite lovely.
    It wasn't all fun and roses, but I'd rather not get into the unpleasant parts. They're over now, moving on.
    Hope the week finds you all well.
    • CommentAuthorNil
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
    Just received an electricity bill for £529. Apparently our budget plan wasn't covering the amount of electricity we've been using each month, something they thoughtfully didn't think to mention to us until we switched to a different power company. At least it's going to get split between the three of us living here, but that's still around £175 that could be going towards food or rent (or one of the other debts I still have to pay). I really don't want to have to move home, for any number of reasons, but it's looking more and more likely that I'm just not going to have any other choice. The flatmate is already moving home in September and while he says he'll keep paying his share of the rent until our contract runs out in November he has a history of not paying his debts (he already owes me a months rent and at least 2 months council tax).

    Added to this, my girlfriend has been ill for quite some time (we still don't know exactly with what, given that our GP seems to be treating it as if she's imagining the whole thing) and that's starting to take a toll on me. I have to be strong for her, try to keep her spirits up and constantly reassure her that it's going to be OK and it's just sapping what little energy I have these days. What really makes me feel sick is that I find myself getting angry at her, as if it's somehow her fault she's ill. I know that what's actually making me angry is how unfair the illness itself is and how the GP is being such a massive cock about the whole thing, but that gets misdirected sometimes.

    Anyway, that was fucking depressing. Have some pictures of cats dressed like Batman.

    Also, @snafu - I don't know what to say other than that really sucks and I hope things work out for you.
  5.  (10163.8)
    Just a suggestion, but I have noticed that there are some very intelligent people that reside in Whitechapel.
    What are your girlfriends symptons? Their may be some here that may have suggestions to what the illness may be.

    Or am I breaking some social rule by suggesting this?
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011 edited

    Typically it's out of pocket to ask someone about specifics re: a third-party's personal health because you don't know if they would want those details shared. This can be minimized by the fact we have no idea of who Nil or their girlfriend are but I, personally, wouldn't ask for specifics (too used to dealing with not asking since I work in HR because asking can get me, and my employer, in very deep shit).

    Plus, also, unless someone's a medical professional (and I don't know if we have any doctors on here), it's just speculation anyway and you can get that for free on
    • CommentAuthorNil
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011

    I don't think you're breaking any social rules (although my knowledge of such has always been rather shaky), but I'd rather not say.
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
    For this summer I've been running a project that was screwed up a year before I was hired. I've managed to make it work with little resources, and I'm proud of that. The downside is, I'm tired all the time. While I technically have two days off every week, I still handle work problems on those days. Experience has shown that if I don't handle them, then nobody else will. The project ends in a week and a half, which is good. While I like the people I work with, handling a project designed by people who have very little practical experience on marketing, resourcing and problem-solving is exhausting and frustrating.

    The good thing is, I've gotten a wealth experience working in this project, and that experience might just land me the job of my dreams. Nothing is definite yet, but so far the feedback has been good. I've been told that I'm one of strongest candidates for the job, and that they are impressed with what I've done thus far. I'm only 25 going on 26, and having the possibility of getting my dream job is both exhilarating and terrifying. I want it so bad, yet I don't want to get my hope up. Been disappointed so many times with other prospects, so... cautious optimism is the way to go, I guess.

    (Please, oh please let me get that job. It would solve so many problems.)
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
    There's a substantial gap between 'intelligent forum goer' and 'medically trained professional'.

    More's the pity.

    I've had an absolute shitter of a week. I took the previous week off to recharge, hoping that when I came back the bad things would've been resolved. As it happens, they've been completely ignored.

    Now, I've had a poor year with a previous manager who tells me my blunt, forthright, style is demoralsing for my co-workers and that I need to change. And I've worked hard at that, keeping my mouth closed when I really wanted to chip in etc..,

    And where has this got me? Utterly screwed. I finally kicked off this week, and rather than be tutted at for being disruptive I've had people say 'why did you wait so long to say something?'

    Head. Desk.
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
    I have certainly leveled off since last week. No longer panicking about whether or not I can handle life-in-general, but I'm still in a funk.

    I started going to Weight Watchers meetings in January, at the insistence of my mom (she offered to pay for it, even). She's done very well (she's lost over 90 lbs. over a year or two), and for a few months, so was I. I lost 23 lbs, got my 10% weight-loss keychain, and almost immediately stopped caring. It's been months since I was at 23 lbs lost. I'm 5 lbs. more than that now. I just can't care. I mean, I haven't gained it all back, thank gods, but I'm still in a place where food=comfort, and of course it's not the kind of food anyone should be eating, and I'm not terribly interested in a life where I eat veggies and not drink soda and where I can't just eat cake all day if I wanna, and I'm being such a child about it, I know...

    But I weigh 193 lbs right now. I'm somewhere around 5 feet, 6 inches. I'm not happy, and I'm certainly not healthy. I just can't get it through my head.

    But yeah...
    E-hugs to nil and snafu and everyone else.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2011
    This week, all things considered, hasn't been too bad.

    I did pretty much walk away from a person, quite possibly for good, after they decided to curse at me. They thought I was shitting on a hobby of theirs but, rather than ask for clarification of what I meant or giving me the benefit of a doubt as a friend, it was fire first and ask questions later. My other friends don't do that shit and so I have to decide whether or not I want to give this person a second chance because I usually have a zero tolerance policy for such bullshit.

    Other than that, and that was pretty minor compared to some of the other things going on in this thread, things aren't too bad.
  6.  (10163.15)
    I GOT A MUHFUCKIN' JOB! One that'll pay me every week, which'll help out a lot. And tips! And keeping my freedom! YES.
  7.  (10163.16)
    Okay. So my mental shit hit the fan the past few weeks or whatevers and I'm slowly putting myself back together.
    Emphasis on slowly, as I apparently am having to learn the hard and very painful way that I can't do everything at once, and just how painful a bad anxiety attack can be (If anyone sees my heart/lungs, I'd like them returned from wherever they ran to after escaping my chest cavity). Had an anxiety attack last night. I guess it was from just sitting up. Fuck if I know why, I just tried to get comfy and YEOW. I'm on new medication, waiting for it to do shit, and rather unimpressed that it's a sorta barfy color.
    My bosses are being supportive and trying to give me time to recoup.... but I just keep on feeling lame for not being able to handle my normal crazy workload. Guess I pushed everything too far....

    I just feel like my mind and body have conspired to betray me at the current time.
      CommentAuthorJay Kay
    • CommentTimeAug 20th 2011
    Hmm...nothing great, but nothing too terrible either. Tomorrow I start back on my job at the stadium--which is great, 'cause I'll finally have money coming in again, but the jobs are so infrequent that I still need to find something more regular.

    Also, I'm a couple of steps away from possibly getting into a university to soon get my ass a degree. It's just a matter of whether I'll be able to apply for financial aid, and I won't know that until some tax shit is processed.
    • CommentTimeAug 20th 2011
    You beautiful people.

    @snafu - sorry to hear that, man. That fucking sucks.
    @Nil - also, with an extra eek! for your girlfriend. Hang tough.
    Go @kahavi go! and good on ya to @keyofsilence and @shining_lion
    Warm thoughts and virtual hugs for @brittanica and @rootfireember - anxiety is an evil bitch that will sometimes shove hot ice into my lungs and grab my heart with a bear trap and next thing I know I haven't moved for a whole day. All I know is to breathe through it.

    I'm keepin along. There's been a little ambient anxiety, playing off some slight depression, feeding the ambient anxiety, setting off the slight depression... Annoying more than anything. I'm really, really done with the suicidal scenarios that run at the hint of the merest idea that I might look a little silly in front of someone. It's like if I don't hit the bullseye but just the next closest ring the projectionist who runs little scenarios in my head and is my own personal Bad idea Bear will ever so helpfully show me that the best solution to get out of such a monstrous error of being less than flawless involves a rope and sturdy clothing rack. Oh Fuck Off, says I. What the hell does that guy know, anyway?

    Well, the fucking irony of my life is that the mechanic in my head that I need to judge my work, not just for good or bad quality but for characteristics (more blue? less yellow? flatten? deepen? lighten?), is just as twisted as the projectionist and gets off on wallowing on how it's not bright enough, or hot enough, or sharp enough, too weird or too weak.

    I want the projectionist gone but I need the mechanic. I just need her to be less of a sadist. I think those two are going out together, too. Bastards.

    Began Japanese 203. Relieved that I haven't completely forgotten everything over the summer, but forgot a lot more than I like. Made all these plans over the summer to study. Haha. Plans are so cute. Made plans to make sure I'd have time to study before Monday's class. HAHAHA. ahh. Just like old times.

    Final edit of the demo is done. When I post it on my Web site plan on me making it unavoidable. }:> Next is making a pretty CD package for it, though I really need to also get some serious leg work going on figuring out how to market it. I hate the idea of having to go into offices and make a nuisance of myself but I don't have better options at the moment. The best option is a pro offering to take in to his or her agent, which obviously isn't an option I can create for myself. Guh. this is the part that I knew was coming, I knew would be the most uncomfortable. It could explain why I keep waking up grinding my teeth.

    Oh and improv class was fun. I have a cool teacher who is kind of telling me the same thing every coach has said - speak up! - but regularly tells me she likes what I bring (when she can hear me). YEah. HAha brain things. I'm plenty loud when I know what I'm saying. Lose all the oomph when I have to make it up on the in...improvising! hilarious.

    Only other thing from this week was editing a friend's Masters dissertation. with it being 50ish pages long and her needing it back after three days I couldn't get terribly in depth with the content. So I shut myself away as much as I could, cleaned up the text and asked questions where things weren't too clear and sent it back. I sure hope it does well. It was in dramatic arts, looking at the threshold theatre that is immersive gaming. I could have spent weeks looking into it & reading up on the ideas it raised but alas, no. But I really want to read up on Husserl now.
    • CommentTimeAug 20th 2011 edited
    To quote @shining_lion...

    I GOT A MUHFUCKIN' JOB! However mine pays sporadically... I'm a freelance writer for MIT Technology Review now.
    Now I need to learn to write... shit.

    Also - Sam Adam's Octoberfest, my generic beer of choice is out for the season. Woo! That might not helping with the learning to write...
    • CommentTimeAug 20th 2011 edited
    I don't have much to say about this week, since it has been so many levels of hell. Instead, I'll share some true facts:

    Back in 2006, shortly after graduating, I was in talks with a friend of mine about doing a porn shoot for her site based on silkscreening, since I was new to screen printing & so in love with it and also had secret lusts for being something like a Suicide Girl. I planned out the whole thing, but ultimately couldn't really find a place where we could stage such a thing. Time passed and the idea was forgotten.

    Now. Now that I am a Real Printer, the idea of a silkscreen porno shoot horrifies me, if only because the idea that printing abandoned for sex/masturbation would ultimately lead to INK DRYING IN THE SCREEN. This is the worst thing ever, because it can ruin a screen at worst or result in hours of scrubbing with ink degrade and power washing. I cringe at the thought of leaving my screen even to get a glass of water. I can't imagine abandoning it for something like SEX.

    I have abandoned my reckless nymph lifestyle and became a giant nerd.

    The end.