Okay, so the first thing that really threw me off (that didn't really matter but still, I noticed it): Curt's daughter was killed in the last week or so (if not less). I had no idea it was that recently. He was at the mausoleum talking about his wife wanting a divorce and that their daughter is what was keeping them together. I just went and flipped through it again and, looking back, I realize that Curt was probably terminated because he was drunk on the job? And probably drinking because of his daughters death? And he was terminated 3 weeks ago... If that's the case, that puts his daughters death at more likely 4 weeks ago but most of the other people were killed a day or two before the story started. I could be wrong, but that's what I'm seeing it as. Not that it can be changed now, but for future work, if maybe his boss had said more about why he was fired instead of talking about the mayor's ties (which I did like though) then it would have flowed a little better. As written, at the end when they talk about the daughter being in an accident recently it pulled me out of the story as I had it in my mind that it had been 6 months to a year before.
The other part was when the story takes place. I didn't see anything letting the reader know that it takes place a couple of days before the tsunami hit. Again, maybe I missed it, but I remember someone mentioning that they may have to evacuate the area but don't tell you why until later. And even then, I think I only put it together because I had remembered you mentioning on here that it took place right before the flooding.

Two questions: I understand that the doctor was being threatened (I almost missed that part which would have made the entire thing a self-fulfilling prophecy otherwise), but I didn't see who was threatening her. And why did she think that releasing what she had would prevent something bad from happening?
Also, was there a point to the hotel having Curt on camera? The only thing I could see it being used for would be to have the city prosecutor in her back pocket and since a murder was in the same hotel it helped to show that Curt was really good at his job because he had to have noticed them and if there wasn't a reason for him to not ask for the tapes it would've made the story a little shorter. It also, very subtly, hinted that him and his wife had grown so far apart that he was cheating on her. I think I answered my own question, but I'll leave it on here just in case there was something else.

Okay, so the first thing that really threw me off (that didn't really matter but still, I noticed it): Curt's daughter was killed in the last week or so (if not less). I had no idea it was that recently. He was at the mausoleum talking about his wife wanting a divorce and that their daughter is what was keeping them together. I just went and flipped through it again and, looking back, I realize that Curt was probably terminated because he was drunk on the job?

***Curt wasn't terminated, he was on personal leave for a few weeks because of his daughter's death, and was reluctant to return to work. He was at risk for being fired because he didn't return, Jeff was trying to save Curt's job.

And probably drinking because of his daughters death? And he was terminated 3 weeks ago... If that's the case, that puts his daughters death at more likely 4 weeks ago but most of the other people were killed a day or two before the story started. I could be wrong, but that's what I'm seeing it as. Not that it can be changed now, but for future work, if maybe his boss had said more about why he was fired instead of talking about the mayor's ties (which I did like though) then it would have flowed a little better. As written, at the end when they talk about the daughter being in an accident recently it pulled me out of the story as I had it in my mind that it had been 6 months to a year before.

***I'm not completely certain the timeline is perfect, but I did my best. But the chain of events with the daughter, divorce, and first murder is only a few weeks. I'll have my editor triple check my timeline on future work to be sure it works, because this is the type of thing that also bothers me when I read/watch other fiction. Thanks for the note!

The other part was when the story takes place. I didn't see anything letting the reader know that it takes place a couple of days before the tsunami hit. Again, maybe I missed it, but I remember someone mentioning that they may have to evacuate the area but don't tell you why until later. And even then, I think I only put it together because I had remembered you mentioning on here that it took place right before the flooding.

***There are several spots in the story where the hurricane is mentioned as approaching, it's a fine line, you want to make sure the reader is aware of it, but you don't want to do it in a way that is heavy handed and annoying. But there are at least 4 points in the story where it's brought up, and a sense of urgency is maintained. Give it another read with that in mind, I'm sure you'll find them all.

Two questions: I understand that the doctor was being threatened (I almost missed that part which would have made the entire thing a self-fulfilling prophecy otherwise), but I didn't see who was threatening her. And why did she think that releasing what she had would prevent something bad from happening?

***She wasn't trying to release it, she was trying to compromise with the people that were trying to get it from Patel. She may have been selling it, or simply giving it to them, I didn't feel it was important to the overall finale, we just know she was there to get rid of it, and the killer was there finishing his job.

Also, was there a point to the hotel having Curt on camera? The only thing I could see it being used for would be to have the city prosecutor in her back pocket and since a murder was in the same hotel it helped to show that Curt was really good at his job because he had to have noticed them and if there wasn't a reason for him to not ask for the tapes it would've made the story a little shorter. It also, very subtly, hinted that him and his wife had grown so far apart that he was cheating on her. I think I answered my own question, but I'll leave it on here just in case there was something else.

***The implication is that Curt and Gabrielle had a sexual history, and this was probably the central reason his wife wanted a divorce. The daughter was the only thing keeping them together, and once she died, the wife cleared out ASAP. So Curt was cheating on her with Gabrielle. But when we meet Gabrielle, it's clear it was in the past, so the wife never forgave him. I thought it was an interesting character moment to have him attempt to avoid painful things from his past while dealing with the reality of a live investigation. It was also a clue planted I thought would be fun to pick up on if I decided to do a follow up story.

***A lot of what I did with SWEETS was an attempt at subtle storytelling since so much of what happens in comics is punching and very obvious storylines. It was an experiment to see how far I could push the concept of saying things without actually saying them, and testing the limits of what works and what doesn't. Example, when Jeff meets Curt at the grave yard, he's been considering suicide. The characters never talk about it, it's just something we observe by studying the gun, and the fact that he's ashamed when Jeff shows up, so he hides it with his newspaper. There are MANY subtle things that happen in the story and it seems you've gone FAR deeper than most, so I'm grateful.

***In many ways, SWEETS was an experiment and a personal challenge to step up my game in a big way. Time will tell how it holds up, but I've found by a large majority, people appreciated the type of subtle storytelling I applied to this book. If nothing else, I pushed the boundaries and knocked down a few walls, so I now have a much better understanding of what works and what doesn't and new scripts are already in progress.