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: OPEN MIC - the Spleen Venting Thread (Sept 16th - 22nd)
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21 to 40 of 57
Sep 18th 2011
Wow. A lot of bad shit lately. Hugs and comfort to razrangel, Jon Carpenter, Dovryn, flecky, chris g, Fishelle, DJ Stawes, and Argos. Shit, that's a lot of you.
And a happy dance for oddbill.
And now a copy/paste from last night:
Week: I'm typing this in a word document to paste later because I'm sitting on a couch in the room my dad grew up in, in the farm house my paternal grandmother was born in, which is actually only a couple hours away from the Twin Cities. And it is a near small town that tourists only drive through, so there isn't wifi or internet anywhere except at the library. And I didn't manage to leave the house one bit today anyway. At least I don't actually live here for fucks sake. I'm here to help my dad and uncle do some painting to get the house to a rent-worthy state. I actually felt more like cleaning because of the endless dust, cobwebs and just overall messy ickiness of the place. And take photos of old farm buildings built by a bunch of Swedes. Well, really boring Swedes who were a part of the Free Church. Wooo history! At the last minute of packing I thought taking glam self portraits in an old farm house would be fabulous, so I might do that too. I should take some tonight but I'm too tired. And you really don't need to see my hair.
But that is actually really boring stuff. Why am I boring you people with this nonsense? So... the other thing that went on this week, is that nothing really happened with the boss' son, except a “pep-talk” towards the end in which he talked about work stuff and stammered a crapton. Then mentioned something about hanging around or something? Very awkward. Whatevs. Guys, seriously, you are confusing sometimes. Earlier in the week I set up an OkCupid account because Seantaclaus was mentioning it on twitter and was saying it was fairly cool and I figured, fuck it, it's gotta be better than what I'm doing now. Still have no clue what I'm doing with that, but what the hell, flirting and friendliness and shit. Well, my inner depressive is still being shouty about how I'm doing it all wrong but hopefully I'll get better at turning that down. Unsurprisingly, most of the interesting guys are in the Twin Ports (Duluth/Superior) or the Twin Cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul). The local guys are either into outdoors stuff all! The! Time! Or they're … just no.
Hate: nothing at the moment, I think. I know... that my dad and uncle think a dusty table or dusty piece of paper on a dusty table is a good replacement for a cutting board. So gross. And sad. More annoying than hate, but there you go.
Love: At least I got to listen to music while painting, and since I'm into electro-pop at the moment, lots of goofy dancing around when a song was particularly good.
Pissing me off: It would be nice to have boundless energy. Don't think that'll happen anytime soon. Exhaustion has been hitting fairly hard. Never managed to take any photos, as I ended up sleeping until it was time to pack and leave.
Sep 19th 2011
@ trini- Ta for tapping my name into your post. I need support from any genuine person at the moment.Glad your enjoying your electro at the moment. I've always loved that sound.It makes me feel like i'm listening to some amazing soundtrack from some hardcore uncut sci-fi metal monster..me not talking about ewoks or shit.e.g When Uncle Warren kicked the shit out of god via The Authority.I love the word shit!
@ argos- love the pic of you and the cat.Sometimes the unspoken empathy from a cat,dog,rat etc can far outway the verbal attempts us homo sapiens attempt.
It's 8.15 in the Bush, west London. Bit of sun in the sky..which is ok but because I'm proud to say i'm a Northlander berserker i love it when the rain hits the city and all the suits run for cover and all their poxy IPhone 999z get all wet and...hate the fuckers! They whinge when it's to hot and they moan when it's cold. They will be useless to us when the apocalypse comes.They will be breakfast when the dead walk the earth.I hope i will still be inside my carcass when the shit hits the fan.
I've had a bit of kip.It's been a few weeks since i knocked the evil Nazi methadone shit on the head.I just sent a lazy(E)mail to my old man who resides in Oz telling him to not believe the hype.That state sponsored garbage is worse to withdraw from than the heroin.I don't know if it's appropriate for me to go on about my drug problems yet feel it is as i'm not trying to make it all shiny and cool and let's fuck baby. The needle has fucked my legs which is a bitch as I love running,dancing,acting out etc. Still..sigh...i've had my time in the sun and at the moment i'm really grateful that i've got me eyes,ears,mouth and dick.
Take care kids.
Soviet Rocket No. 9
Sep 19th 2011
Hang in there flecky. In a strange way, I actually enjoy your musings about the underside of London.
Not much to report from me. I actually like going to the Senator's office, better than my actual job. To the point I should get ready now and I'm not.
till asking the question of where are all the desirable females. It'd be much easier to buy and sell through ebay, like they were commodity, but alas. I'm over the point of loneliness, I've found myself much better at entertainment, than another human being.
Right now I'm fighting with my new computer to actually connect and download from steam, which seems to need the touch of a internet Jesus.
Keep safe all.
Sep 19th 2011
I had a really cool idea for The Red Bee and no time to get near it.
Still, that's born of this freelance writing/design thing actually taking off for me, so: shrug.
Sep 20th 2011
Morning all. I'm glad to hear you're hanging in there, even if just. To join in on the love life angst theme, I, in a fit of loneliness, last night reached out to my ex. Not the wife, but the woman I dated after the divorce. I'd just come out of a ten year long mind-fuck of a relationship and totally freaked out when I realized that the chill, no-need-for-definitions relationship I was in was turning into something serious (after about 10 months). When I tried to talk to her about how she felt, she told me what she thought I wanted to hear and I ended it. That was about a year ago. While I've dated several people since then, none for more than three dates. @trini - For what it's worth, I'm also rockin' the okCupid, with meh results.
I feel geographically isolated and drive an hour and a half to hang out by myself in a bar with people in it. On the up side, I get a lot of writing done. The down side... the long drive home means I don't actually drink that much and that I have time for morose thoughts. My cat hasn't come home in about a week, so we're facing the fact that she was probably eaten by something. I'm going to have to try and explain where Mia is to my daughter. She's three and I don't think she'll get it. Things are still a mess with the ex-wife and with the custody situation up in the air I'm not going to be leaving my mom's any time soon. I really don't want to go back to court and have a nasty custody battle, but the kid is going to need to live somewhere full time when she starts school.
Thanks for listening.
Sep 20th 2011
@trini best of luck. I've never really had much luck with OkCupid. With the combination of being unable to define myself in a few paragraphs and only seeming to attract students who are only interested in an open relationship, I decided to give it a miss and meet people the old fashioned way (which is funny since I'm an introvert).
So near the middle of the week and not much is happening. My coworker is on vacation so I'm doing stuff that I don't normally do and am kind of worried that I'm doing it wrong. That combined with a lack of proper sleep has given me the wonderful lip rash, a bright red (and I must stress NOT CONTRACTIBLE) pencil moustache triggered by anxiety that burns like hell for 1-2 weeks.
I spent most of my night yesterday at City Hall watching the Executive Committee meeting in action. While it was refreshing to see such civil spirit among the 365 speakers, it was discouraging that their concerns and love for this city are being ignored by a Mayor who clearly does not give a shit and has made it clear that the people going to this meeting are "not the right kind of Torontonian" (ie someone who is against libraries closing, 2000 childcare jobs being cut, services that take care of disabled and elderly folks cut and many MANY more). So, I honestly don't think it will do much good. The last meeting didn't do much good. Bah.
And on top of that it is currently Toronto Beer Week with some really awesome events going on...that I can't go to. Because of money. A lot of the interesting stuff costs $35+ to get in and still charge for the beers, which is understandable, but considering I make $50 a week and most of that goes to bills, it is far out of my price range. Ah well.
But on the plus side of things I have tea and will be visiting a friend in Cambridge, ON this weekend. I'm looking forward to it.
Sep 20th 2011
*blinks* Shit, y'all, hang in there-- Not sayin' shit's going to get better, because I don't know y'all, but I can say that at least you'll get used to how shitty shit is now, if nothin' else.
Heh. Now I feel kind of guilty that my biggest worry this past week was gettin' drunk enough to black out and wake up wearing pants I didn't know I owned. Also, if you have had to deal with a drunk and obnoxious individual recently, allow me to apologize for them, as I channeled that archetype pretty stronglike.
To all you lonely sons and daughters of bitches out there: Hey, hold heart, I recently entered into a relationship with a girl who I've been dancing around (and who has been doing the same to me) for years now. I'm an ugly, dirtynasty asshole-- There's good odds on y'all being far more eligible than me, so don't get all pissy and depressed. If anything, that's probably your main obstacle to not bein' alone anymore, honestly. People don't like sad people, to be quite blunt.
Sep 20th 2011
Alright Chaplains; here's the art space:
This is it. Our section is the second square of light from the left. We have that, and a semi trailer (like the one you see on the far right) which will be parked in front of our square.
With this, we shall conquer worlds.
This is the interior of the space. In addition to this, we'll also be working in a large semi trailer that will be parked permanently up at the dock.
The loading dock.
The loading dock door rope.
Me & the art partner inaugurating the space.
I cannot express how excited I am about the prospects having this space to figure things out in.
Sep 20th 2011
@oddbill: Yaaay! *throws confetti, does a happy dance, gets some balloons going* That's made of win, best of luck.
Sep 22nd 2011
Fook..laptop acting like a pregnant slug. I reckon even this crap will crash.I tapped in a load of mind bile hours ago and yet once again i had accidently activated Skynet. Got stupid little robot things flying round my quaint english council flat. Shepherds Bush is full of T10000 models killing all the white trash inbred swine that reside in the notorious White City. Drug runners are writhing in pain as they flare up. Gypsy mongoloids are trying to put their curse on metal yet are to stupid to realise that aint the way shit goes down. Early morning drunks clutch at their cans of Tenants ultra strong puke giving it "You fackin' cant..i'll get my uncle on ter yer you robot shit!". They all die..
@oddbill: You cool git! If i had a artspace like yours I would be in heaven..or hell!i quiver to think of the demented stuff i could get up to.
My detox is going ever so nicely.The pervert in me seems to enjoy the pain. Me and Desolation Jones have loads in common.I feel like i've had about 3 hrs kip since march..reckon by end of november i will be a model citizen and finally get a wife,kids,a big posh car,a job in the city and be able to parade around Notting Hill all super positive dressed in the shite fashion i see a load of the kids wear. Fooking posers..wearing Vans on their feet and they can't even skate and those stupid brown drainpipe trousers with all that excess space at the crotch that makes them look like they've shit themselves and their wank hair cuts.I love taking the piss out off them as i cripple the street. I hobble up to them on me crutch and say "Mate,do you speak english? yes? Nothing personal..I'm a tramp..yet that is a naff look you got going!". It's fooking great as they go all red faced and say it's not.I just stumble away laughing me heed off in full on Joker mode.Probably going to get punched in the face sometime yet that would make it even better.
Fooking Narcotics Anonymous..not met one bastard who reads comics proper. Out of 70 or so people 2 spoilt posh Chelsea addicts have said "O yes..I am aware of the works of Frank Miller"and thats only because they saw Sin City.Don't even get me started on The Spirit. I love the Miller but c'mon..
Time for yet another coffee and a fag.
Stay frosty marines..
Sep 22nd 2011
I am extremely irritable today. That is all.
Sep 23rd 2011
Today was supposed to be get-out-and-buy-a-new-phone day, but the rain has made it a stay-in-and-update-tumblr day. Maybe sweep-the-floors day.
I just signed on to work during the Ontario election next month. I'll miss a copyediting class, which is too bad, but... actually I'm not sure why I got the notion to do this. There's a laissez-faire-ness about chronic unemployment, isn't there?
Sweet art-pad, Bill.
Sep 23rd 2011
Okay, so. Since I'll be off out of town for the weekend, I may as well write my week here.
: Hammered out what will probably be my recipe for my Pumpkin Coffee Ale (starting name "Percolatin' Pumpkin Ale). Due to budget constrictions and wanting to NOT have a panic attack concerning myself with grains and guessing how much .25oz of hops is without having a scale, I'll be using a malt extract kit and adding on to it. In this case allspice, nutmeg, cinnamon sticks, ginger, a clove or two, some fresh vanilla beans and maybe even some pumpkin (still on the fence, as many brewers I've talked to say that there is no difference in taste if pumpkin is there or not). The measurements and timing for the addition of those ingredients was the result of spending a few hours at the library with nearly ten books with recipes. I'm hoping this one turns out.
: Due to a middle of the night, half-asleep hallucination (which some might call a "vision", I got inspired to start a project devoted to photos taken during my most favorite of seasons, Autumn. It kicked off yesterday with
and by the end I'm hoping to put it all in a MagCloud magazine and have it for sale. We'll see how that goes!
I've also been discovering some of the lesser known works of Robert Mapplethorpe. After reading about him in Patti Smith's book Just Kids, I felt that I really had to check his work out and...wow. I think I may have flipped through his book Polaroids three times in the past two days. Definitely feeling inspired by his work.
Finally got my copies of the Weaponizer magazine with my photo on the cover, which was a thrill to finally see. Also a book on Ian & Sylvia Tyson was released this week with one of my photos inside which was also a huge thrill, as that will be put out internationally. I have to say, when I see my photos in mediums like that, it makes me feel that what I'm doing isn't a complete waste, which is helpful during my "why bother?" stagnation periods.
And on that note, I've been considering approaching book publishers to put my name on the list of photographers who are willing to do book covers.
, for instance, I think would make a great cover for a mystery novel.
: With the boosts brought on by the above, it's been real hard to be depressed. So...things have been very good! Money isn't great, but it's trickling. I haven't had a "argh, single" attack in a while and I've been feeling the desire to explore the world around me, which always leads to exciting adventures.
Yep. Stuff is definitely going well here.
Sep 23rd 2011
Seems like all is continuitous in Whitechapel this month. I hope you're all doing well.
White whine is about to happen, but I don't care. I'm complaining about someone using their whiteness for incredible vapidness.
This is a Native American Literature class. Sure, that's fine. Hey, I'll even give you the "Oral Literature" argument unopposed. Can't get very far without it and I want to learn. The instructor is not that smart. Fine, that's fine, just read the material with your head down. Learn on your own, don't trust anything she says.
Then come in the broad generalizations. Then come in the complete lack of conclusive argument. Then comes the redefinition of the Truth to whatever we want it to be.
I can't fucking stand it. We're so lucky to live in a place that has education, and then the standards are so low that this woman can bullshit about how Native American myths are a "KIND OF" truth that we, as westerners, completely dismiss. YOU ARE A WHITE LADY IN AN AMERICAN UNIVERSITY BEING PAID TO TEACH THE SUBJECT YOU ARE SAYING WE DISMISS. The astonishing self-centered-ness it takes to complain about this frustrates me to such an incredible degree I can barely contain myself. I am at a point where want to challenge everything she says for the simple fact that I know she would be unable to answer my questions. And I am a person that tries very hard to be a respectful student. Yet here I am posting on Whitechapel in class about how awful it is to be subjected to this waste of university resources.
She has never had a cohesive lecture, and she has never been able to draw a linear thesis across any set of information, even when she is using examples directly out of the book. And on top of everything, she keeps using the word "Philosophy" to mean whatever she wants it to. Including, (verbatim quote),"Quantum Physics Philosophy." THAT'S SCIENCE NOT PHILOSOPHY. HOW DO YOU HAVE A DEGREE IN ANYTHING WITHOUT KNOWING THAT?
Rage. Rage. Rage.
Sep 23rd 2011
"Quantum Physics Philosophy."
Ah, that'd be your 'Natural Philosophy' then? So science = philosophy = religion and if we pray hard enough or sacrifice enough chickens or small children that cancer will just go away, and you're only disabled because it's a punishment for what you did in your last incarnation? By crikey, that makes it all so much clearer! (In case you were wondering, i speak hypothetically, neither of those ailments relate to me.)
Whitechapel i am bored! I sit here unmotivated and mopeing. This is not good! Do me a favour and give me a number between 0 and 24 and another one between 1 and 100 and i'll see what i can do with them. I an neither interesting, artistic nor particularly original, so don't expect too much. You have until about 05.00 BST tomorrow, assuming work doesn't get in the way, if it does, there's always Sunday!
Best wishes and sympathy to everyone who needs it and a very goodnight to you all.
Sep 23rd 2011
@roadscum 14 and 42.
Sep 23rd 2011
@roadscum: Your first number is pi. Your second number is Love.
Sep 23rd 2011
@ Fishelle: Ta, plans have been made and plots plotted. Results should be up in 24 hours or so, work permitting.
@ Alan Tyson: Excellent! That's lunch sorted then, i love a good pie!
Sep 23rd 2011
@roadscum: My work here is done, then. Carry on, citizen!
Still jobless. I've got an extremely understanding landlady, one of my best friends' mom, who's letting me slide a LOT more than she probably should, but it's still very disheartening to watch my supply of funds evaporate, knowing it could be a month or longer before I have another source of income. I've got close to a dozen tech writer and copy editor applications out there, and in the D.C. area there are plenty of cushy, supposedly well-paying government contractors who could hire me, but no dice yet. I've got a few other, minimum-wage jobs options open, too, but... I'm 23. I want to be getting into something that I can use to start saving up for a better life in a decade or so.
A roomie (and the aforementioned best friend) is up in New Jersey with a mutual friend, visiting a group of our other friends. I wasn't able to go because of money, and while I'm not exactly someone who needs to party party hearty every weekend, I am left in a town where I know next to no-one, and most of the friends I made from my last job are either at working new jobs or are in the same situation as I am - many of them worse, because their jobs were supporting a family. It's a little sad knowing that that I have no one in my phone that I can call up and say "hey, wanna come over for a beer and a movie?" I'm glad I left Iowa, immensely so, but the one thing that place had going for it was that I knew plenty of folks I could go out and have a bit of mindless fun with.
Got a call from my parents not quite an hour ago, telling me that my dad's mom, my last living grandparent, is in the hospital, probably for good. It's not exactly unexpected news, but it's not much welcome, either. No telling if I'll be able to make it out to Colorado to see her before the end. We don't really see eye to eye on a lot of things, mostly politics, but she's a good woman, and I wish I'd gotten to know her better.
I put the finishing touches on the longest piece of writing I've ever completed, and much to my surprise, it only needed a few quick, dumb fixes. I'm waiting to get feedback from a few of my first readers, but as it stands, I'm pretty happy with how it came out, and how fast - almost sixty pages in three days. Been riding that wave pretty high, lately.
I just stood up, and realized the jeans I'm wearing just about fell off my ass. This is a good thing - I've been wearing these jeans since probably sophomore year of high school, and they've always fit, if sometimes they were a little tight. Now, they're actually loose. This fact, combined with my first real good haircut in a while and finally figuring out which clothes look good on me, I'm, for the first time since I really became AWARE of my appearance, starting to think I might not look too terrible.
I song came out of nowhere the other day, and flattened me to the ground. You all know what I'm talking about, what that feels like. It was a very good feeling.
Sep 24th 2011
I finally finally FINALLY finished that writing project this past week. Now me and my writing partner just need to edit, get some beta readers to put eyes-on, format it, then send it up to Amazon for transmission to folks' Kindles.
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