Whitechapel - REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T03:03:50-07:00

Warren’s REMAKE/REMODEL meme is one of my favourite things. I plan to keep it running – a fresh one every Monday. Artists need a place to show off, Whitechapel should always be It. A handful of entries will be showcased on http://www.Bleedingcool.com at the end of each challenge.

THE RULES:

This is ART ONLY. Any pen-portraits, or crappy scribbles padded-out with words, will cause a deployment of the newly-trained Urethral Attack Maggots. And a banned account.

No stock-photo manipulation. No half-arsed bollocks. Anything deemed to be piss-takery will be nuked from orbit. Original photography is fine.

No more than ONE submission by any one person.

INSTRUCTIONS:

SPURT HAMMOND

Yes, you read that right.

This week’s Paragon Of Class is a swashbuckling space adventurer from the pages of Planet Comics whose name, believe it or not, is the least mind-boggling of the Naughty Nuances which accompanied his improbable adventures. I’m indebted to Kelly-Sue Deconnick and Jess Nevins for bringing his sneer-inducing existence to my attention.

”Spurt Hammond was a pilot who traveled between the planets of the Solar System.”

…aaand that’s about all you’re going to get from the EncycloNet on this guy. Fortunately for us the fine folks at Stupid Comics can shed a little more light. Note the extreme overabundance of Naked! Space! People! – usually male, often over-muscled, frequently colossal – and our tights-wearing hero’s habit of perving over the Same using “the spheroid of his astrograph.” Freud’s ghost just self-exorcised in overexcitement.

Ingredients: a space-jockey (fnar!) in a tight skirt (hyuk!) carrying a bulbous weapon (quak!), shooting (yuk-yuk!) to the rescue of scantily clad Star Queens (ooer!) via rippling Aryan spacehunks with too many arms. It’s bloody “Carry-On Up Uranus”, innit?

Let’s see how well Whitechapel handles Space Smut.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T06:06:22-07:00

Oh.

Yes.

Oh.

Yes.

Oh.
Yes
Oh.
Yes.
OH!
YES!
OH!!
YES!!

uhm . . . .

I'll make the time for this one. . . .

~R

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T08:18:07-07:00

In honor of the roast tonight, I was going to suggest we do Charlie Sheen as an immortal warlock, but this, this is so, so much better...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T08:20:46-07:00

Get out the plastic sheets, folks, it's gonna be a doozy this week...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T08:49:52-07:00

I shall check out each art submission wondering if ol' Spurt's gun will be big enough...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T08:52:26-07:00

Hope Pupato comes out to play with this one. :)

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T09:47:53-07:00

I'm almost entirely sure that Jess Nevins and Kelly-Sue Deconnick have made the whole thing up and have just been waiting for someone stupid enough to fall for their wicked private joke.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T11:12:37-07:00

This should be right up my... youknowwhat. ;)

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T12:51:51-07:00

Oh god. There is a new joy in my life now I know of SPURT HAMMOND's existence. It's almost enough to make me forget that I don't ever draw...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T14:34:54-07:00

That may be the best comic I've ever read.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T14:54:24-07:00

"Spurt Hammond, I command you to-" "WANK"

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T20:07:16-07:00

... I'll try to draw something if I can stop laughing.
>:) I expect you guys to come up with some great and horrible....things... for this one!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T21:19:06-07:00

The only change I made was to give him a sidekick.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-19T22:52:34-07:00

I cannot believe that he carries a skeet gun, it is just too perfect

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T03:24:13-07:00

There really was no way that I couldn't rise (fnar) to this challenge.

Spurt Hammond, space-jockey and hard rider, champion of the Solar System and equal opportunities rescuer/lover, ready to save a busty wench or a randy space-barbarian warrior king and satisfy their needs for... revenge. *ahem*

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T03:30:13-07:00

Off to a great start...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T05:09:39-07:00

@Bevis: I was going to ask how he fits that gun in that holster, but of course: it just takes a bit of lube. :)

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T05:39:36-07:00

Well there are two possible answers: 1) (the boring answer) He actually has a different smaller gun in the holder or 2) (the much more appropriate answer) It gets bigger when he's ready to shoot. :p

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T07:07:26-07:00

I didn't take the piss out of him I hope!
" alt="Spurt Hammond" />

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T07:57:17-07:00

From the Drawbridge Blog

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T11:52:56-07:00

This thread is already unbeatable...!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T11:59:47-07:00

Yeah, I broke the 'Whitechapel is NEVER safe for work' rule to look at this earlier...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T17:20:26-07:00

Damn -- people bringing their A game!

~R

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T19:26:09-07:00

Damn, people are putting out some damn fine contributions so far. The bar is set very, very, very high.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-20T19:54:40-07:00

haha, well done everyone.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-21T01:42:52-07:00

Here's mine...I sort of went 90s extreme comics homoerotic Cable elvis with this...I dunno...made sense to me me:

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-21T05:16:48-07:00

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-21T06:12:51-07:00

Verrrry cool!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-21T06:48:19-07:00

@mercurialblonde - wow! love that Sarah.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-21T07:15:07-07:00

Tim Hamilton: very Moebius take on it, nicely done!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-21T14:22:30-07:00

@ Tim Hamilton: Absolutely incredible!

Smut's not my thing so I came up with this...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-21T15:29:38-07:00

This thread's already one of the most amazing ones so far. Nothing like a bit of smut to set people's minds ablaze, tasteful or no.

In the meantime, I tried for something different.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-22T03:23:11-07:00

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-22T05:48:44-07:00

@KMCleod: wins again! Love your style, and sense of humor

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-22T06:59:53-07:00

Game on, folks...Loving the entries this week.
my take...an excuse to draw some T&A.

Spurt Hammond: Intergalactic She-man of Adventure!!!!! Saving the galaxy by day, having an altogether different "adventure" by night...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-22T07:17:19-07:00

Best I can do on a short week for me. Too obvious? Perhaps. Type/design porn for me.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-22T10:55:00-07:00

OH GOD ~~MAKE IT STOP~~ LET IT NEVER END

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-22T12:43:59-07:00

You are all mad bastards*.

*And by that I mean incredibly awesome.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-22T14:46:33-07:00

Oh, go on then...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-22T18:15:34-07:00

could this remake thread go for an extra week? Because this thread is awesome.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T01:19:34-07:00

Anyone else feel the same? Happy to extend if there's enough call.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T01:52:30-07:00

Yeah, I'd like to play - somewhat under the cosh with work this week though... extra week would be very welcome.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T05:03:01-07:00

I could use the extra week too, please...

The entries are all great, keep up the good work people!
@KMcleod: You never fail to deliver! Good job!
@Paul Sizer: Bal-Sac-7 will probably be my favorite joke this week; I've been laughing alone at work because of this :)

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T06:15:50-07:00

Vote for the extra week as well, this week's been a mess of delays and things taking longer than planned which has eaten all my spare time and into my actual work time.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T07:21:40-07:00

I have a painting up my sleeve if there's another week to finish it.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T07:46:19-07:00

Very well. This shall be a 2-week Spurt.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T08:46:04-07:00

is shall be a 2-week Spurt.

Hope there's no one gets a cramp...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T09:45:32-07:00

@mercurialblonde and D.Miranda--Thanks. Looking forward to the second week of FLESH GORDON vibes.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T10:46:20-07:00

This is so awesome, hahaha.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T12:12:51-07:00

Spurt Hammond shoots forth ...

Updated 28/09/11: ... Dives towards the planet Muff
With a bit more time to work on it, I've fixed the things that were annoying me about it and recoloured it.
I've also been mucking around with a stereoscopic view, see here

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T13:37:21-07:00

I could use another week to get it up.

So much win in the thread.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-23T22:35:09-07:00

Please place your entries for SkeetWeek part 2!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-24T03:09:47-07:00

Blimey! I have failed to notice that the fabulously talented @Matt Timson has come to play! Nice one. :)

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-25T01:02:01-07:00

Okay, here's mine. Probably won't make it to bleeding cool, but I had lots of fun doing it!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-25T01:37:54-07:00

I see this thread is popular. Not surprising with a name like "Spurt Hammond".

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-25T19:23:51-07:00

Hmm, there was a comic featuring 'The Wanker' which got written up in Cerebus somewhere during the 'Mothers and Daughters' arc. I see these two working hand in hand.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-25T20:47:59-07:00

@ scs

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-25T22:46:00-07:00

So glad a week was added! Can't wait to get on this.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-26T02:35:40-07:00

Ah, Paul Sizer, you magnificent bastard. Every time is gold. Solid (stupid-bastard-I-hate-you) gold!

Also: Kosmograd: A+

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-28T02:30:28-07:00

Inspired by @smileyfish's new ~~toy~~ friend. Everyone should have one. Yes...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-28T04:46:05-07:00

Thanks much, Nick. Your approval/rage is delicious. : )
Kosmograd: Figure in another A+ from me as well. Nice.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-28T10:34:29-07:00

Thank you so much Paul and Nick. I've tinkered with it some more, fixed the things that were annoying me about it.

Sizer always brings his A game.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-28T13:06:42-07:00

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-28T16:31:46-07:00

Beware Spurt Hammond's arch enemy: the Spurtosaurus!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-28T17:38:33-07:00

Ken Miller: King of Monsters!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-28T17:46:14-07:00

*Edited to update

also, one with a background (and boobs)

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-29T09:25:37-07:00

@ all: I fooking love each and every piece of work.I can't stop smiling.As i went into me kitchen just now i exclaimed out loud "Spurt fooking Hammond!" I was laughing out loud.To myself..

Spurt Hammond!

Shits with me till the day i die.

I thought i was the ultimate pervert but you lot..you..you..SPURT FOOKING HAMMOND! HE HE HE!!!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-29T14:07:07-07:00

I wasn't too psyched about this one, but then I got bored at work while waiting for documents to load. So here's a quickie.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-29T18:07:30-07:00

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-30T08:21:57-07:00

In space, no one can hear you...

Am I the only one who'll never again be able to think of a "Hammond Organ" with a straight face?

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-30T10:25:33-07:00

Not any more. :)

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-09-30T11:17:26-07:00

Alejandro-the hairy palms are a nice touch.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-01T15:35:57-07:00

Finally got around to finishing this...

It's a bit dark so some of the details a bit obscured, but bigger version here and plain inks here.

I had a quick look at some Spurt stories and couldn't decide to have him fighting giants or mooniacs, so I decided to do both before getting carried away and inventing some more sci-fi based villains yo oppose him.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-01T23:49:22-07:00

@Greasemonkey: We really like. It's sublime and classic style

'@NickDonald: Funny!! Love the Alien intro..

@Driseamail: Very sci-fi super..reminds me of a nightclub i used to work in..is that that bastard Bendix respawning as good old spurt? Just can't seem to kill that dodgy fucka! sigh...i'm still in love with Jenny Sparks...why,uncle Warren, why? She was only 100 yrs old! Bastard...

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-02T13:06:09-07:00

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-02T14:00:55-07:00

Splendid, splendid entries on this one. Looking forward to whatever Si has lined up next.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-02T14:47:18-07:00

A glimpse into the chaotic galactic meanderings of Spurt Hammond the Outlaw-ma & Zilla, princess of the Alpaca Ninja Clan...

Little lines might be my OCD; there's a bigger version here.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-02T15:01:46-07:00

Man, this thread is ending with a BANG! Nice ones, peoples!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-02T15:31:59-07:00

Borrowing the "liquid man" idea from DBed, and going 50s B horror with it. Because I go 50s B horror half the time. Life size version.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-02T15:36:52-07:00

@flecky: thanks man. I was a bit reticent about posting that piece, thought it might be too obscure.

@Miranda: love the fine lines. Every artist needs some obsessive traits.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-02T18:49:01-07:00

I wanted to do a color version of this but unfortunately didn't have the time, Hopefully the plain inks will suffice. I might color it this week just for fun so check back on my TUMBLR mid-week.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-02T21:23:19-07:00

@Greasemonkey: thanks!
@M.E.Walsh: I love your black and white work! Your images always look great!

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-03T00:21:17-07:00

Epic loveliness. Many congratulations to all participants.

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-03T08:27:40-07:00

@NeilFord Cheers mate- thought I might try and sneak in... :D

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-03T22:00:10-07:00

I sketched mine out, but never managed to find the time amid the sudden chaos that erupted last week to draw my Spurt and ejaculate the image through the intertubes to splash across all you waiting ~~faces~~ screens.

Am sad.
~R

REMAKE/REMODEL: SPURT HAMMOND

2011-10-05T01:31:16-07:00

A few favourites now up on Bleedingcool.com.

Great work, folks.