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  1.  (10310.1)
    Here is your judgement-free space to vent, rant, show-off, smug-it-up, scream silently into the face of Internet apathy, and generally trepan your pressurized consciousness after Another Tough Week.

    Instructions: Tell us about the last seven suns. Tell us what you hate, what you love, what's pissing you off. Tell us what's broken about the world, tell us what you want. Tell us how you plan to change everything, tell us what you're building in your basement, or, hell, just dance or play a tune.

    I, we, and all of us are here for you. Smash your wordvenom against us.


    I'll start us off. Based on one or two early rumours, which I sincerely hope are nothing more than that, I'm hearing that a stalwart of the comics and novel-writing worlds - as well as a respected member of various online communities I've been a part of myself, including the WEF - has left us. RIP Jens H. Altmann.
  2.  (10310.2)
    Oh, that's terribly sad. I liked Jens. I remember him from the WEF days.
  3.  (10310.3)
    Hate: How easily I get tired. I ended up not doing fun things last night because I couldn't manage to force myself to get off my ass. Trying to not hate myself for it.

    Love: Costumes, masks, and dressing up for Halloween.

    Pissing me off: Still haven't found an apartment. Every possibility so far has fallen through. Seems I am very capable of making a fool of myself, or too picky, or something. Also, it seems a co-worker has started to dislike me, and while I'm trying to not let it get to me, it is frustrating. It isn't the first time a co-worker has gotten cranky at me because I'm not an incredibly fast worker. I try my best and push myself hard, but I do get tired and sometimes my focus isn't there. Granted, these are also the same sort of people who get mad at me for using big words. Yes, I like odd things and find pretentious language amusing. I also like to abuse language with pop culture nonsense. Fucking hell.

    Broken about the world: Too much to list.

    Wanted: To not be a fuck up anymore. Seems unlikely.

    Things I'm working on: I'm finishing some masks that I'm using for my costume (cat burglar). The costume is generally finished otherwise, except I'm at a loss of what to do for a utility belt/bag.
  4.  (10310.4)
    A friend of mine at the local college was recently found dead. They think it was a murder. It's changed the feeling of Halloween for me and my friends. It's scary not knowing... Is there a guy out there waiting to kill again? Was this random? I... I don't know. It doesnt feel really real at this point, more a haze, as if when I wake up in the morning it'll just turn out to be the worlds worst Halloween joke...
    But I don't think that will really happen.
  5.  (10310.5)
    @Rootfireember: Wow. I'm very sorry to hear it. I hope whatever the cause is, it is the least sinister possibility. Just... damn.
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeOct 30th 2011
    Hmmm. Sunday evening, and I've managed to totally avoid starting work on an RPG project I've finally begun getting enthused about again. Maybe if I become a caretaker at a isolated wilderness lodge.

    @Rootfireember: I just heard one of my college buddies is having troubles, and have been feeling pretty bad about not being able to help . . . but losing a friend outright under awful circumstances like that takes the cake. I sure as hell it turns out to be a joke, but it not, hang in there and take care.
    • CommentTimeOct 30th 2011 edited
    I'm looking at two months where I'm essentially trapped doing three jobs at the same time. Last week the work days averaged to about 16 hours, including Saturday, and looks like that's how it's going to be 'till the end of the year. Getting nasty flashbacks from the insane entrepreneur years when I did 18 hour work days for two week stretches straight. I guess 2012 will see me as a sleep deprived trembling wreck of a human being :S

    Wouldn't be so bad, I guess, unless I was literally more broke than I was when unemployed. Adds a whole new flavor to the stress.
    • CommentTimeOct 30th 2011
    @Root *hug* I'm sorry you've lost a friend in such a terrible way. And you can't quite grieve until you know you don't have to fear for yourself and all the other folks near to you. Hang in there, keep your head on straight. I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

    Fighting to get my feet under me, to not be surprised & flatfooted when every day brings new demands. Even the ones I anticipated I don't feel quite ready for. How obnoxious. I really wanted to make more of this October, and it's been all I could do to just keep breathing. I do have a bit too much on my plate and there's not much I can do about that for a while. However, it's not so much that a truly competent person couldn't handle it, if with some stress. But I'm fighting myself furiously to not fall into my lazy patterns of assuming I don't need to get shit done until I absolutely do...and I don't think I'm winning. Ugh. How annoying.

    Tomorrow's Halloween and I want to get up the decorations I've been whining that the house needs. I could have done it this weekend but...didn't. I also have a really big Japanese test tomorrow night (mega suck that it's on Halloween; super uber mega suck that it'll keep me from the Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman event at the El Rey) and I'm freaked out about it, pretty sure I'm not ready for it. I could have studied before today but ...uh...

    My sister is getting married on Wednesday. She's fought tooth and nail to keep it low key, simple, etc. And yet somehow there's a lot of crap to do anyway. Thank the good lord she's going with simple. WE would all be insane & biting each other, otherwise. I'm resolved not to think about it now until after the test.

    I can't remember much of this week that just went by other than there was a lot of family and my dad was sick (he has a bone marrow biopsy coming up), and I've spent it feeling completely discombobulated by trying to find the right way to deal with everything that makes up my life.
  6.  (10310.9)
    @Root - Wicked sorry to hear about your friend. Saying "that sucks" just doesn't cover it.

    I'm going in a million directions at once right now. Work has been totally overwhelming for the last several weeks and probably wont let up for another several months.

    I'm still trying to work out the custody deal with my ex without having to get lawyers involved and that is going glacially slow. To me there is only one way to do things that is objectively in my daughter's best interest, but my ex "doesn't trust [me]" so we have to take a tiny step forward and then let her decide that it isn't really some ploy on my part to take her daughter from her.

    Yesterday in the shower, it occurred to me that some time last week was the 15th anniversary of the murder of a friend of mine so my Halloween started out pretty shite. Fortunately work didn't give me a chance to think much about it and I had a date to look forward too.

    The date... it was our third in just over a week. And with the exception of a few political differences (we tend to agree on my personal hot button issues) she appears to be my girl kryptonite. Last night while talking about hardcore bands of about 10 years ago, we realized she's the second cousin of one of my best friends growing up. To add some context, she's from Florida and I'm from just outside of Boston, so we grew up well over 1000 miles apart. We spent an amazing evening with beer and laughter that ended with us standing on the street, snogging in the cold. I didn't get home until about 2am and I'm exhausted, but excited about this shiny new thing in my life. While trying not to get too ahead of myself. It's only been about a week (and three dates and probably 30 e-mails and... See... need to chill out).
  7.  (10310.10)
    Getting my no-bullshit gaming/nerd blog back up and running has seen all of my extra time since about last Wednesday, I suppose. I started it last year, but then life happened and I couldn't maintain it, or keep on top of friends that wanted to help maintain it so it just kind of sat around collecting dust until the hosting plan died and I didn't have the money to renew it. I kept the domain registered though and a friend that was helping me before on it went ahead and paid for the hosting. So we're back in business. Looking at going live Thursday morning with about 8-10 articles. It's really looking good so far, like we actually know what we're doing. It's just been kind of stressful trying to write articles, design images for the articles, make sure the site is looking okay, etc. If any writers on here want to contribute stuff that would be awesome, I'm looking to monetize and be able to pay people within the next year if it all works out. I just have to keep telling myself that I can do it. I"m more of an editor/art director person and not much of a writer to be honest. I just hate most of the major geek/nerd/gaming blogs out there right now because they all seem to pander to money.
    Oh, and I decided that I'm not drinking for the entire month. We really can't afford ANY unnecessary expenses this month, and the $30-$40 I spend on beer in a month falls into that. It just means that I won't be sleeping until 2-3 AM every night and the wife is not going to be happy about going to bed alone. On the other hand, HEY MORE TIME TO DO STUFF!
  8.  (10310.11)
    @rootfireember - I hope your fear of danger can pass so you get to properly mourn the loss of your friend.

    @sellmeyoursoul - no. don't chill out. this is the part that is awesome. people are supposed to go mad and loose themselves like this, they just get conditioned to not do it anymore. That overexhuberant way that you were at age 16 is how attraction and affection is supposed to go. Revel is feeling so alive. Even if it crashes, it's too worth it to be so giddy over the potential of a person to not embrace it. A MILLION EMAILs!!!

    (i'm a bit of a ridiculous romantic though. maybe you shouldn't listen to me)
    • CommentTimeNov 1st 2011
    Right, so...

    GOOD: Got a few freelance jobs. One is a regular paying social media job and the other is a photo/film shoot of a Deadmau5 concert on Saturday. The latter involves me picking up some gear that lets me do timelapse photography (my camera will be left for about three days, with me coming in every 12 hours to change the SD card) and that's...pretty exciting. It was hell to find the gear, but I'll be picking it up tonight with test runs being set to go tonight and tomorrow.

    I also went to my first beer event on Sunday which was a LOT of fun, but in hindsight I should have brought a friend to watch over me and I should have drank a lot less than I did. When I miraculously got home alright I was in pretty bad shape. But I guess I'm good now. Still, fun event.

    Also got told that I might be on television in January. A lifestyle-type show is interested in having me come on and talk about beer and the thirsty wench. I'm to follow up in a couple of weeks and see if there's a confirmed date/time they have in mind.

    ALSO also, my beer, Pumpkin Patch Panic, turned out wonderfully.

    BAD: Well, aside from the events of Sunday seeming to really mess up my stomach (I get motion sickness very easily right now)...not a whole lot. Just general feelings of dread and feeling my singleness more and more as friends tell me about their relationships.
  9.  (10310.13)
    @Rootfireember: That's horrible - shocking when someone dies suddenly, Especially if there is suspicion that it was deliberate.

    @sellmeyoursoul: ha ha, yes what Rachael says! that's the fun part... Good luck with it all

    @oldhat: great news about the jobs, and about being on telly.

    I'm just treading water really. After one day last week where I felt really good, I'm back to feeling various degrees of rubbish. really, really frustrated today – I had no meetings in my diary at work, and was expecting to get a lot done, but just ended up totally unable to concentrate or focus on anything, lost a huge amount of time fiddling pointlessly with Illustrator, and ended up going home having achieved nothing. I've got a full day of meetings tomorrow, and probably am about a week behind were I need to be without anything like the energy I need to deal with it.

    In good news: my middle daughter started her new school yesterday, and seems to really like it – even though they seem to have some really weird morning ritual involving lining up and dancing to Abba. But she seems happy to have moved, which is the main thing. And we went to my oldest daughter's parents evening tonight, talked to her teachers for maths and English, and she seems to be doing really well – especially in her writing where she's a couple of levels ahead of where they expect her to be right now. So very pleased about that, as I was a little bit nervous of being told that she was a borderline sociopath, given the way she's been behaving at home...
  10.  (10310.14)
    @Rachael - I'm totally reveling in it. First kisses last night - Win! More please. But one horrible 10 year long relationship/messy divorce after the last time I just let myself completely go, I feel I need to periodically step back and remind myself that my brain is producing opiods to make me feel this way. High people don't always make great choices. (see my getting engaged while recovering from back surgery i.e. - on a lot of Percocet).

    @Oldhat - Um... relationships... kissing... who likes that? Bah! (I'll shut up now before I become yet another #robinleblancfacts statistic)
      CommentAuthorCameron C.
    • CommentTimeNov 1st 2011
    Last night at 1:44 am I sent my third ~30 page comic (This one is I think only 25 pages of story, though ;_; ) to be printed in the last three years. I started trying to do this right after I lost my job in December of 2008 and by 2009 started I was moved in with my father and trying to learn how to doodle. Now I've got over 100 pages of this comic done (Only like 9900 more until I make a good one!), have sold copies to people in almost two dozen different countries, and had a short comic I did reviewed quite nicely on The Comics Journal website.

    And this morning I signed all the papers and stuuuuuuff and I have video training sessions Thursday and Friday and a full shift on the floor Saturday at my new job. first in THREE YEARS AND IM SO EXCITED OMGUH.

    It doesn't look like it'll be too many hours, but I'm in a very fortunate living situation right now and it's close enough that I can walk to work if I don't wanna spend the gas. This should be enough to let me get by. Kinda nice 24 hours it's been D:
    • CommentTimeNov 2nd 2011
    I started plotting a novel today (not as part of NaNoWriMo).

    what the fuck is WRONG with me
  11.  (10310.17)
    Fist things first...

    @Root - Sorry to hear about your friend. that's no way for a person to go. Truly sorry.

    @Singularity Jones - Keep it up Jon. We'll shoot the shit when i next get down to London.

    @Oldhat - if you go on TV, YOU MUST PUT THIS ON YOUTUBE!

    Right now down to business....

    so Sigga finally went to the fertility doctor last week. And... it's actually fairly good news! apparently her reminaing overy is still functioning well. However It looks like Sigga's internal layout is pretty hostile to conceiving properly which may explain our difficulties. The doc doesn't want to waste time, so we go for blood tests later this week and then we're going to do some "Turkey Baster" fertility methods - sexy... This of course all costs money, one procedure costing approx $560 dollars. This means that i have to start writing like an aggressive motherfucker to earn some bread to pay for it.

    But it's still game on to produce the Golden child.

    Another thing happened to me recently. Last night i received this package from an old school firend...

    I had no idea what was in it. When i opened the package, i found a DVD with a note saying "Sorry it took so long. Remember this?" so i put the DVD on...

    It was a primary school production of "The Pirates of Penzance" and i played the part of the Major General. I was 11-ish and a decent boy soprano. Needless to say i died several lives of shame througout the showing. the wife nearly broke a rib in laughter. God i was a chunky child.

    Peple have asked me to upload a section - THEY CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES! I'M not falling for that one again. But to keep you off my back, here is a screenshot...

    Angelic eh? NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!
  12.  (10310.18)
    I'll be letting that collaborative site of mine (The Sticky Friends) expire in three days. It's... healthy to do. And it's pointless to keep. But it does feel weird. I'm a hoarder of online content, and I really do like most of what we created together, but... it's not something i should tie myself to anymore.
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeNov 2nd 2011
    Ahem. Is this thing on?

    I have an amusing story about my friend's child. His name is Jack and he's four and, predictably, went out for Halloween recently. Dressed as a car, if you must know -(a cardboard box with WORKING HEADLIGHTS- this is important, the boy's two principle obsessions are cars and light bulbs, for some reason.) Now, this was a bit tough, as he's four, strapped into a cardboard box, with lights and presumably some sort of power supply, so he had a hard time going up steps and ALL the houses in his neighborhood have steps up to the front door.

    So the first fifteen minutes of trickortreating, he's polite and all "thank you" and "please". After this, he'd bang on the door and declaim in a vigourous voice only a four year old boy could replicate "WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR ME?!"

    @ icelandbob - we always KNEW you were the Very Model, sir. How are you at Differential Calculus and Beings Animalculus? (You realize WE'LL NEVER LET YOU LIVE THIS DOWN and will heartly ridicule you for this, once you're shanghai'd to entertain us in Canada. Oh, how we'll laugh.)
    • CommentTimeNov 2nd 2011 edited
    ugh. spent two hours in a dentist's chair this afternoon getting another tooth pulled out & implant inserted. the first time i had this done, i was in & out in 45 minutes. this time, the dentist had to make sure he gets the second implant in at a different angle, plus deeper in the bone than the first one. so, there's lots of drilling, scraping, and endless novocaine injections.

    oh, and pain.

    holy mother of fuckin' jump-shot jesus. it got to the point where he had to inject novocaine inside the drilled-out hole onto the nerves directly.

    i'd post the yanked tooth on the SPIT thread like i did a few years ago, only this one isn't doesn't possess a root that's all green and has the insides all corroded out from the bacteria chewing away at the metal pin (although it's starting to go to that route, which is why i had it yanked). but as of this moment all my firewire & USB ports are plugged up with external HDs & my MBP's rendering non-stop a total of 93 videos in AE since... 21 hours & 59 minutes now. there's still 25 videos left to go. honestly can't wait to get this shit video job done & over with.

    oh wait... photobooth works! here's a crap pic for now:

    another yanked tooth

    i'm just happy my fiancée was there with me this time around.