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  1.  (10345.41)
    #Ridofchewingfingers

    I use to chew my nails all the time, the only thing that broke that habit of mine was getting braces. But instead of chewing my nails I started picking my lips, which I still do.
    But apparently it can be caused by something missing in your diet and I've known a person or two to break it by starting to eat the right thing. (I think one of them started eating more bananas to get potassium.)
    Mind you, that might have just been a placebo.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeNov 21st 2011
     (10345.42)
    @Soviet Rocket

    #ridofchewingfingers

    Do you do it all the time or you do it only under times of stress? Could be an impulse related to something like trichotillomania but instead of pulling your hair out you gnaw on your digits.
  2.  (10345.43)
    #SydneyAndAuckland

    Greasemonkey and Kay - I haven't been around for a few days thanks to major computer problems, but big thanks for all the info. I've pretty much got my plans all nailed down and if I wasn't so severely socially phobic I'd offer to shout you both a beer when I'm in town. Please enjoy the theoretical/figurative beers I've just sent both your ways, and if you even need info or advice about the shanty town on the edge of the Indian Ocean that is Perth you need only ask.
    •  
      CommentAuthorGreasemonkey
    • CommentTimeNov 21st 2011 edited
     (10345.44)
    Cheers mate. I'm living in Toronto these days with my Canadian wife, but the good thoughts are appreciated. (I'm also originally from WA, and my sister still lives in Perth).

    Let us know how the Sydney leg of your trip goes.
    • CommentAuthorOda
    • CommentTimeNov 21st 2011
     (10345.45)
    #GoodHappyPillsForOdaElisabeth

    Hi lovely people. I could really use your help. Does any of you have a wide experience with antidepressants, or know a lot about them? I have Borderline Personality Disorder so it's not for Treating Me And Making Me Sane Forever, but every autumn I also become terribly depressed and this year is worse than any other year I ever had. That may be because lots of unrelated shit hit the fan, but the standard "sad all the time, no energy to do anything, dropping out of school again, don't want to do anything" formula still applies. I could use some drug to take like, half the year? Thing is I've actually been on antidepressants once and they made me FAT and zombie-like and that's NOT worth it. I do NOT become less depressed by gaining 10+ kilos on Cipralex or another SSRI. So. Do any of you know of a good anti-depressant that does NOT have a history of making people gain weight? So that I can have a doctor prescribe it and I can try it out? General opinions and advice on antidepressants and the situation are also welcome.

    Thanks. <3
    • CommentAuthorKosmopolit
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.46)
    #GoodHappyPillsForOdaElisabeth

    St John's Wort, a herb, has been demonstrated to be as effect as anti-depressants for mild to moderate depression.

    So far as I know, it isn't linked to weight gain.
  3.  (10345.47)
    #SydneyAndAuckland

    One last bit of info, given that you mentioned you like history - this article has some recommendations to that end. And right now theoretical beer is probably better for me than the real thing anyway, but cheers for the thought. :)
  4.  (10345.48)
    #GoodHappyPillsForOdaElisabeth

    St John's Wort, a herb, has been demonstrated to be as effect as anti-depressants for mild to moderate depression.


    But don't take alongside regular antidepressants as the combination can be harmful...

    I'll post more on this later, at work at the moment, but the 'depression or zombiepill' dilemma is very familiar and not an easy one...
    • CommentAuthorMrMonk
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.49)
    #GoodHappyPillsForOdaElisabeth

    The dilemma of SSRI (or other drugs) and weight gain is one that I, also, know. It was especially bothersome, since SSRI did little to nothing to help me.

    Suggestion: if this is a seasonal disorder, find a peer-support group to get you through the season. I'm fortunate in having a number of groups, religious and secular, available to me. It's very helpful to talk about things with people who know where you're coming from.

    I find that the better groups will typically have a few trained group leaders (peers, not professionals), and a medical adviser (professional) who comes in from time to time to talk about special topics. The groups often have connections to others who can help you if things get seriously bad.

    N.B., there are no magic pills. Check out St John's Wort or other "natural" remedies before you try them. All of this stuff has side effects.
    • CommentAuthorOda
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.50)
    #GoodHappyPillsForOdaElisabeth

    I can live with zombie, as long as it's not fat zombie. St. John's Wort would fuck up my birth control. :\
  5.  (10345.51)
    #GoodHappyPillsForOdaElisabeth

    I think everyone reacts differently to these things, so the caveat is that what works or has worked for me won't necessarily work at all for anyone else, but I'll share my experience in the hope that it's useful... Whatever, I really do feel for you, as it's not a nice position to be in, having to make a choice between rotten symptoms and medication that brings its own problems...


    Cipralex is, from what I can tell, a pretty similar thing to Citalopram, which I've been on and off for the past three or so years - before that I'd taken venlafaxine and prozac for about 7 years. My weight has fluctuated quite a bit during that time, but usually edging upwards, I think since going onto antidepressants long term I gained three stone. I came off them for about 8 months in Jan this year, and lost over a stone in that period, without an awful lot of effort.

    From what I've read of citalopram, it's not been found to cause weight gain. Now, that doesn't reflect my own experience, and I was really reluctant to go back on the blasted things in August because of it, and also, eh, other things which are known to be side effects not conducive to having babies...

    But I'm not sure if the drugs themselves had caused the gain or the fact that I'm so chilled out by them that I'm not burning off huge amounts of energy by twitching or being way more wired than is healthy. Have you tried to figure out why you gained that 10kg? Could depression have made you avoid eating to a degree that lifting it through medication caused your appetite to return to an unhealthy degree?

    For me, having lost a third of the weight I gained over the last decade, I'm trying to be really mindful not to put it back on, keeping to a pretty strict calorie intake and trying hard not to eat mindlessly, which I'd got into the habit of. So far it's working and I'm staying more or less in the same place, edging back down slowly. So it might be possible to stave off weight gain with discipline.

    My partner and I have had a lot of arguments about my use of SSRIs, none of which are that helpful to either of us, as she finds that they change my personality and make me very cold and unemotional - but I've found them to be very effective for me particularly against anxiety and panic. Low mood is another matter, and I do really hate the feeling of being a cold, spocklike being. But it's better than the alternative.

    I also got a bollocking from the doctor for cycling on and off them - that's pretty silly apparently and they shouldn't be stopped abruptly.

    One thing that I am trying at the moment is CBT - I'm finding the approach of trying to see how behaviour, thought patterns, mood and body are interrelated and working on aspects of behaviour to influence the other areas is helping me - working to identify things that I've formerly enjoyed or found pleasurable and retreated from in depression - and reintroducing them as far as I can. Planning things and tracking them is helping too to bring back motivation. I don't know if there are any counselling services that offer this that are available to you? Don't think it would work for everyone, but it appealed to me because it seems very practical - there's no 'tell me about your mother' stuff, just things you can actively do.

    Exercise, even if just walking is known to help too - when I went through a very severe depression about 10-11 years back (was off work for months, imagining telephones that weren't there, that it was winter outside in July, weeks of insomnia under a blanket on the sofa, no fun at all!), it did help in the end to just walk places, or even dance. Also, as I started to recover, making a schedule and planning my days as if I was at work REALLY helped me pull out of it - the 'work' I set myself was things that I wanted to do - learning shorthand, html, guitar scales. It was all diarised and I 'went home' at a certain time - this helped break the insomnia and get back to a normal, more healthy routine than catnapping and wandering about supermarkets at 3am...

    Finally, there are dietary things you might want to look into - the 'potatos not prozac' idea of reducing sugar intake and using food at certain times of the day to boost seratonin levels - I've found food and booze do have a high impact on mood, and it's worth the effort to understand and tweak these to best suit you.


    Sorry for long ramble, but think @MrMonk is right - in that there are no magic pills, but there are a lot of approaches and strategies, all of which might be effective if you work at them. And at least you have an understanding and awareness of what's going on, which I think is really important in helping to deal with it
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011 edited
     (10345.52)
    #longdistancerelationships

    Alright, so. As all of you know, Alan and I have decided that we're goofy over each other and want to make a long-distance relationship work. As it is it's not SO bad...he's about a 9 hour drive away and the chances of us seeing each other more are lookin' up. But the times in between are hard, especially now that our feelings for each other have deepened and we want to be a part of each other's lives on a more regular basis.

    So folks who have done long distance relationships and made them work...got any tips?

    And YES, we've been told about wanking on Skype, so don't bother.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBeamish
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.53)
    Have you tried wan... Oh, just read the end, never mind.
  6.  (10345.54)
    I was in a relationship that went long-distance for a while and survived it. Kind of the flip-side of the wanking-on-Skype component was what to do about physical sex between conjugal visits. This doesn't work for everyone, but what worked for us was to say that it was OK to get it elsewhere when we were apart, as long as we each kept that no-strings-attached. And we talked about it to each other, because we found that hot and it totally undercut the notion that there was any "cheating" involved. But if either partner isn't comfortable with it, drop the idea immediately. Your Mileage May Vary. Limit One Per Customer. Void Where Prohibited By Law.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.55)
    to clarify, not looking for sex advice. The wanking comment was a joke.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.56)
    to clarify, not looking for sex advice. The wanking comment was a joke.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.57)
    to clarify, not looking for sex advice. The wanking comment was a joke.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.58)
    to clarify, not looking for sex advice. The wanking comment was a joke.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.59)
    to clarify, not looking for sex advice. The wanking comment was a joke.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd 2011
     (10345.60)
    Apparently, she really meant that it was a joke. ;)

    Anyway, yes, I had a LDR for two years which worked until we were together. Schedule "dates" times set aside for the two of you to chat or get together online. Communicate often, drop e-mails and what not. Do things for each other that you would normally you were apart but closer (i.e. you see a cool book you think he should read, buy it and send it to him).