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: OPEN MIC - the Spleen Venting Thread (25th Nov - 2nd Dec)
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Nov 29th 2011
@Finagle, reminds me of that Office Space character that works with the love interest at the cafe. That terrifying smile... xD
Today, I was caught by ticket inspectors with a concession ticket and no concession card. I don't know how they know! I have paid full fare all year and never seen a single ruddy inspector, but the one week I don't have enough money and go for a concession instead... this always happens! Are they psychic or something!? Now I have a huge fine. The ironic thing is that if I'd used concession tickets all year, I would have actually come out on top, because I wouldn't have any more fines, because they NEVER SHOW UP WHEN I HAVE THE RIGHT TICKET.
And then I get home to find everything covered in brown dust, because the council killed off the grass in our park and ~haven't gotten around~ to putting in the new grass, so all the topsoil has blown off in the wind. GOOD WORK, LOCAL GOVERNMENT.
Nov 30th 2011
Hello Whitchapel,I hope everyone is fighting to the bitter end against all the shit that life has a creepy tendency to assault us with.And assault us it does.There's no hiding from it.It's sink or swim in this motherfucking game.If you are doing badly your either alone or people will use you.If you try your best people judge you and the sick ill fuckers around will suck all your positivity out off you until your head is pounding with pressure and you wan't to scream and kill 'em all.
I like people.I really do.I wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it.Yet some...i want them fucking dead.And if it wasn't against the law i would be fucking killing left right and centre.I shit thee not.If you'd lived my life then i dare say you may feel the same.Rapists,abusers of children,racist sexist bullies,creeps,money crazy cunts of big corp' evil.I want them all to burn.
Anger and rage is a precious gift.Keep it.Don't let any bastard ever tell you what to feel.Listen to advice.Suggestions.Good stuff.But if your going through a hard one and any shit says "Stop feeling sorry for yourself" then go to war.Verbally dismantle the stupid idiots.If they are a true friend they should admit they have no right to say crap like that.But if they retort with more bile then it's time to drop them.Be they lover,friend or family.
Life is far to short to allow yourself to people please the weak ones.Fuck victims.They make me sick.I will defend to the last anyone who is trying their best.
Yesterday was a truly awful experience.I'd had a great weekend at my crazy chick thing but the problem with relationships if you are a lonely person like me leaving them and returning to reality can be hideous.It's easier to be a loner in life even though it seems most foul.I was so cold yesterday.Freezing.I found it hard to get out of bed.I'd made a stupid mistake and missed a important appointment about the status of my liver.I've got this pain in my chest that feels like i'm going to have a stroke anytime.Shit means i got to spend more time in the N.H.S houses of torture.And this aint paranoia.When they find out you've been or are a drug addict there is a good chance they will treat you like crap.Yesterday i was full of dread and despair.It was pissing down with rain and pitch London grey when i went to the chemist to get my meds.I didn't want to live and i didn't want to die.I didn't want to use and i didn't want to be clean.
No matter how bad you feel it will pass.You may need a little help from friends,like the Beatles said,to make it smoother.Cool people.Like you lot.
Today the sun has broke through the murk.I'm going to work at the clinic to kick some ass.I'm going to sing in the street.If i find something funny i will laugh.And if the world suddenly implodes and it's something i can't control then so be it.Not giving a shit can save your life at times.Take it from a mean old bastard like me.
Ok.More music.One more coffee.A fag.Pull on me rags.And then it's time for the killing to start.Let's just hope a don't get blood on my new trainers.If that happens then shit!!...London will feel the true extent of what i'm capable of.
Hang ten Whitechapel.
Nov 30th 2011
Just winding down before bed. No hassles this week although it is getting hot over here and it's not even summer yet..cycling to work in the next couple of months is gonna be sweatastic and also the hot laundry as well. I can't wait for the weekend. Hoping to be able to draw faster tomorrow.
Nov 30th 2011
the plight of the domesticated mom who has to do business in the evening. I gotta go out to the two bars that refuse to answer my repeated emails and the phone call i made a few hours ago, then I have to go to walmart on the way home for milk and toilet paper....haha!. I'm getting pissed though. it's so unprofessional not to respond like this. all i want is a NO! FUCK YOU!...something...really...so i'm going out to both of them tonight. if one accepts. awesome. if both do, then I'll just do two shows with separate themes...
so my dj/business partner apologized and invited us to thanksgiving. it was good and fun, and we got along pretty well. Then a bunch of people and family betrayed him and he's got very few people left besides us. i really hope this peace lasts. I think he's starting to see where he misinterpreted my actions...
i just really really don't want to have to do this whole drama crap all over again...i just don't have it in me anymore.
Nov 30th 2011
Hey folks. It's Alan... I figure it's probably a good idea to change usernames for this. Which, in a way, makes things suck even more. See, I LIKE being part of the Whitechapel Real Name Club. You guys are, hell I know it sounds corny, some of the best people I know. Family, in a lot of ways. I wish this weren't a necessity.
Disclaimer: This was written on "really? you call yourself a porter but I can see RIGHT THROUGH YOU so you can't REALLY be a porter" number 2, in rapid succession.
I heard all the time about the hell that working in an office can be. I was expecting high stress levels, a lot of expectations and responsibility placed on me, I was expecting to hit the ground running and plow right into the work that I'd been hired for, which was hired to write, edit, and design, and to do that for a purpose which I really do find worthwhile (can't say exactly what that purpose is, but suffice to say it's actively working towards improving and maybe saving peoples' lives). I am ready to roll up my sleeves, get that keyboard out, and kick ass while laughing maniacally.
And for the last three days, I've done nothing. The days drag, I spend most of my time analyzing what my predecessor (poorly) did in the hopes that I'll pick up on how things are done, wishing every time someone comes by my office that it's someone going "hey, if you got a second, got something I want you to do for me..." or even just "hey, you're the writing guy, yeah? Could you take a look at..." Its the ultimate First World Problem - I'm getting paid, but I haven't been asked to produce anything. I can't do that, though. I'm a writer. I have to write. And if I can't work on my own stuff at the office, the least I can do is to write what, as I understand it, I was hired to write. Hell, I even have, to the best of my ability, to no response from anyone when I send it off.
It's only been a few days since I started, but I'm already getting a sense of dread from things. Now, this is my first office job. Maybe I'm expecting too much, or expecting precisely the wrong thing. Maybe this is what it's like with everybody. Look, I know, I KNOW, that there are people on this very forum who still can't find a job, and I've got no real right to complain about having such a relatively cushy one as this, but... I felt so lucky to get this job, and now I feel like I don't really have a job. I completely understand that "we want to work! let us work!" mindset now - I thought I did before, but no, not really. I don't want a lazy job. I want to be thrown to the wolves with nothing but a loincloth and a sharp stick, and to return to the village with a wolf pelt cloak. Right now, I feel like I've got a claymore, but all the wolves are on another continent.
My problems don't count for much compared to some of you guys. I really do know that, and believe me, you guys are heroic just for getting through another day. This place keeps me laughing, gasping, and most important, it keeps me weird. I am so glad to be welcome here.
Nov 30th 2011
So, do any of you lot have livejournal (or is that just way too 90's of me)? Or perhaps would want to? I like the rambling here, I like reading everyone's venting, and I like the opportunity to vent as well. But it'd be fabulous to have a place to vent and talk to you folks somewhere that I could easily delete or make private my words, if the desire struck, and someplace that might be more condusive for ongoing conversation.
(and really, I feel i bitch and complain here a bit too much)
Nov 30th 2011
What about the blog function on here? I know it's sort of dead, but I think originally it was meant for that kind of information-sharing. Or am I wrong?
Anchorhead, we should totally have ourselves a new-job recap/vent-fest at the one-month mark. Actually I guess Robin's birthday is my one-month mark -- wow, that went by quick. New job. Yep. It's a toughie. I spent so many months safe from smalltalk and family-friendly jokes and picking up on the personality clues of complete strangers and actually trying to *convince* people that my ideas were *right*... It's weird being back in that situation. And, yeah, I promised myself I would never work for an hourly wage again, because my labour is worth more than what most people earn an hour. (Yep, I went there.) And, yeah, they told me they liked me so I assumed I had some security and now I've relaxed too much and have probably started putting my foot in it a little. Enh. At least I don't have to pretend to be passionate about alcohol or some such twaddle. But I still can't step into any old situation without wanting to change it somehow, give myself more of a challenge. Us Whitechapelers just aren't good at sitting still, it seems.
Also, I'll need your membership card back now. And the pin.
Nov 30th 2011
You can have the card. But... you don't want the pin back. Trust me. I've USED it for something.
Nov 30th 2011
(Srsly, bill's in the mail.)
Nov 30th 2011
Okay, I'm going to keep this short:
Things I want to do and why:
-Read threads like this on here more (as well as participate) because there's a lot of really neat people on here that I want to get to know better.
-Take more pictures. Sometimes your memory doesn't hold up and there are some memories that are worth holding on to, even if it's just through a picture.
-Fix my house some more. It makes me proud to be able to fix things around my house and make it look even nicer.
-Draw something in the next year. It's been too long and I miss doing it.
Nov 30th 2011
@Rachael: I have a livejournal, but if I start doing that again I'm going to have to drop twitter or tumblr or something. I dunno. Part of me is interested (and livejournal is perfect for what you want), but part of me knows what happens when I'm involved with too many online places at once.
@Alan/Anchorbeard: I'm afraid that most of the time office jobs are soulless, and often in the not really getting anything done kind of way. I hope you find out what the hell you are supposed to be doing soon. Are there any coworkers who could be potentially helpful that you could ask? Oh, and I believe
this episode of Black Books
is just about what you are going through at your job.
Nov 30th 2011
@AnchorAlan that sounds totally familiar to the office job I had for a while... Some/many days were just quiet as I sat around and looked for stuff to do and every day, once or twice a day, the most work-like thing I did was ask my manager if there was any work for me. There were plenty of other days when there was LOTS of work to do, so in a way it balanced out. Keep in touch with your manager so you know you're not doing it wrong (per the office's standards, there are no absolutes) and otherwise know that from the standpoint of your company you are but a tiny cog in a big machine. As long as you don't fuck up the works for anyone else they aren't going to be too fussed if you spend your time writing the Next Great American Comic ...or whatever.
@Rachael I check my lj every day. I also have a Wordpress blog that I try to use more. But I do post sloppy thinking thoughts on my LJ every once in a while.
Dec 1st 2011
@ Rachael: This mad bastard doesn't think you bitch and complain here too often.In fact i think you are the life and soul of the party.Your upfront and honest and if it wasn't for people like you i probably wouldn't have the courage to tap in word one on this thread.
I've got to be on form today.I'm sitting in on a meeting with reps from the fooking government on the big changes that are happening to the benefit system in good old blighty. So unfortunately i won't be able to take off all me clothes,lock the door,ass rape 'em all,tell them about the creatures that exist in the 5th dimension,debase their egos,do cognitive therapy on 'em,release my team of hideous,snarlin',mutated sex dwarves to dance around me as i cry wanking and stare at the ceiling saying "My god! Green is a different colour than purple but if you put then together in paisley patterns and stare at them on acid then you will see that we are all dead already"
The last time i did that the feedback was,frankly,a little disappointing.
What is wrong with these people?
Oh well,life goes on.
Horrible Warning Si
Dec 1st 2011
@Rachael -- there is no "too much". Open Mic offes a permanent bile-amnesty, and is possibly the only thread of its type anywhere online wherein members
entries as much as they post them. Don't be ashamed of using it.
Same goes for everyone.
Dec 1st 2011
first bar said" come back monday" second bar said "well did you try facebook?" "yes"...."email" yes..."umm...well...we don't have a phone"...."great...when is the manager in?" "oh...about ten minutes a day at most"..."nice..."
Dec 1st 2011
@Rachael - Vent away. It's what we're here for. Sad to say, since I'm usually only visiting WC at the office, this is one of the few threads I follow closely (since it's more or less safe for work).
@Wanchorbeard - Yeah. Office jobs are not always fun. I know in my entirely different professional experience, there is an expectation of months before someone is actually able to do work of any value. If you can find a way to stay keen and figure out how to help people do their jobs better, they're more likely to trust you with doing yours. No doubt you'll be complaining about being overloaded with work and looking back on the halcyon days of being paid to web surf fondly in no time.
Me? Well, I'm moving on from the break up. This week I kicked the girl out of my G+ circle and hid her from GChat so that I wouldn't see her name/face every time I do anything on line. That was a huge help and big psychological step. During the dark period last week, there my have been a blood sacrifice to Aphrodite. (Important Note: Make sure the knife is sharp BEFORE you leave the house or you won't get much blood without much effort.) Other than that, I'm getting pages of writing done. I have no idea what I'm going to do with this comic script that I'm writing, but that's really not much different from the one I just finished since my friend hasn't drawn a damn thing for it and probably never will. (Stupid best friends. Grrr!)
I'm not really making much progress on working out the custody issues with my ex-wife, but she seemed less than enthusiastic at my last attempt to move things forward and I don't want to push too hard or else she'll dig in her heels on principal. The kid's doing well, although overnight potty training is a nightmare since my ex doesn't bother and keeps her in pull-ups. This morning, she made it all night and then wet the bed when she first woke up, because at that hour who can remember if you're with the parent that expects you to use the toilet or not? Sigh.
Speaking of work, there's a ton of it and I best be getting back. Stay sexy Whitechapel!
Dec 1st 2011
@Anchorbeard - possibly teaching you to suck eggs, but my advice would be, if you're not being given stuff to do, be visibly planning and anticipating future work - creating a calendar/plan of stuff you'll be asked/expected to do, find out what's on the agenda for the next year even if it means sitting on people's desks and demanding to be told, researching the things you'll be asked to write about, getting to know how stuff works - what makes things tick and how to get things done. Have they set up an induction programme of getting you to meet all the people you'll need to deal with? If not, just go ahead and do it...
@Trini - That's one of my favourite black books episodes... I should stop modelling myself on Bernard Black...
Dec 1st 2011
@Anchorbeard - I am in a very similar situation. I've been hired by a software company to document how various software systems work for a client of theirs and I've never done anything like this before. I was tossed in the deep end without any real instruction, despite my reminders of "You know I've never done this before, right?"
I spend some days just reading existing documentation (and that pesky, distracting internet) and fretting that I'm not doing enough. I've turned in a grand total of two things since I was hired in September; one being a series of flowcharts so they would know how their own software worked and where the data was stored. I'm generally filled with anxiety that it will be discovered that I don't know what the hell I'm doing and the little I have done is utterly incorrect.
I also hate complaining about this job because it's paying me more than I've ever made and my bosses are very cool and supportive. I just want to do a good job and not be constantly anxious about what I'm doing (or not doing).
Best of luck to you adjusting your new gig. I'm planning on sticking mine out until I either lose my mind or they kick me to the curb.
(also, I stalk you on twitter as chiaslut, in case you weren't aware.)
Dec 1st 2011
Well... ok, folks. You did say I wasn't being too much. :D
So two weeks ago I had myself a day. I went walking around the West Village around 11 at night, and I bought myself a portable vaporizer and my very first vibrator. It's one of those wacky machines that spins, waves, and rolls beads around inside, and has one of those bunny vibratey rabbit things towards the base. I got home to try it out, and it seems that since I've only had sex 1.5 times in the past two years (and with a smaller sized man), my insides have... shrunk. Contracted. The fucking thing doesn't fit. "Well" I told myself "at least it's got the bunny thing."
And then the bunny died. Last night I found myself disecting the thing at 4 am, peeling back silicone from plastic, and wishing for a soldering iron and some electrical tape. Cheap piece of shit wore a hole in the wire coating AND came unattached from the connector. The big wiggly wavy phallic part works. But I'd need an active sex life to get me to be able to house such a beast. But if I had a sex life, I'd not really care about a vibrator. Goddammit.
I have been playing phone tag with my rheumatologist for over a week and I finally caught his call today. He's such a nice old man, who has complimented me on my voicemail message, and has been very interested in being quite thorough with my case. Today he asked me if I could write out my medical history with EVERYTHING, as though I were writing it to someone. Bwa ha ha!
I've already got one done
This week in my crappy writing class, I ran out of time to write my narrative five page essay thing, so I just found
one of my old stories on my old livejournal
and printed it out and brought it to class so I'd have something to read to my workshop group. It's filled with blunt smoking in urine soaked alleyways and such. Probably not the best choice. My writing group was entertained.
I just found out that my food stamps aren't refilling. I found this out AFTER I loaded my basket with stuff and had to buy all the crap anyway. Tomorrow I'll get to spend the day at Social Security AND the Food Stamp Office. Oh, joy. And on the first Friday of the month? Good god.
Who lives somewhere interesting that has awesome Christmas times and has a place I could crash? I'm looking to avoid the terrible Christmas Eve birthdays I always have. Or, looking forward to summer, who lives somewhere not hot in the summer months that has place I could crash? Or would need a pet sitter? I need to travel, but I'm poor, but I'm desperate to get the fuck out.
I'm totally tanking out of school. Ugh. I can't think straight. I feel like I'm wasting my time on this stress of school when I should be learning how to chill the fuck out and learn to allow my whim to take me over with art. ARGH! Why am I doing this? I could be painting or something, and instead I just.... I constantly feel like the dad in Igby Goes Down.
One wrong turn down a dark corridor of thought and I'm talking to myself and on the verge of tears, random phrases slipping from my mind to my lips, half imaginary conversations whispering out my mouth.
Dec 1st 2011
@Rachael *squishy happy many hugs* you are awesomes just so you know.
@Flecky you and I need to get together some time make pudding and then just start randomly flinging it at people- it will cheer you up no end.
So the past two weeks have been utter and total shit, dealing with other people's emotional fu (of the too much to handle variety) having crap of my own to deal with.
and was frankly getting to the point where i needed to punch someone... with a brick. I spent a lot of time trolling on here and sulking. Usually when i get that way I make hats, I currently have entirely too many actually and have run out of places to put them where they are safe.....
And I dance to cheer myself up. That lead to other problems like oh starting to loose circulation in my legs/feet... I've had two serious injuries to my neck/back and know too much bouncing around is a bad thing (trampolines mean no walking for two days.... as in legs no comply) so my legs have been in a pretty serious amount of pain the past two days with the toes falling asleep if i stand too long. Done the Dr. thing, there isn't anything to be done other than not jumping around like a monkey on crack- which i happen to like doing very much.
ALl the sulking and trolling lead me to wonder any one on here even remotely near Pennsylvania (US)?? I know all of one person here that is nifty as hell and only see at random events.
There is a serious shortage of awesomeness this-a-way.
Today was finally a ray of sunshine of fun and silliness. I took pictures outside in the fucking freezing cold, got shibari hog tied more pictures of and then went out for Vietnamese Pho yum!!
and FINALLY HAVE A WEB DESIGNER!!!! It is going to be a long and busy 6 months to get everything going but damn it i'm going for it and gonna have fun doing it.
Any excuse to buy more latex clothing is a good excuse.
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