Tue, 21 May 2013 02:24:30 -0700 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/ Lussumo Vanilla 1.1.4 & Feed Publisher http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317022#Comment_317022 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317022#Comment_317022 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 05:16:04 -0800 Horrible Warning Si
THE RULES:

1. Recount a tale on the below topic. You have 300 words. Anything more than that will be flambéed with the righteous heat of Deletion. Repeat offenders will be banned.

Linking to a longer version of the story, or posting subsequent chapters, or anything which indirectly pushes it past that 300 word limit, will be similarly nuked.

2. Read – and comment on – the other entries, before you post your own. Partly that’s because you’ll look like a plum if your story is a rubbish shadow of someone else’s. Mostly it’s because you’re not an impolite shit, are you?

[3. Additional emphasis: “Topic.” TOP-IC. That means your anecdote should revolve around a specific subject, yes? The one below, in fact. Not just any old tale you care to share. Deviation = maggoty pee-hole disaster.]

THE LEGAL CRAP:

By telling us your story, it’s in the public domain. Don’t get pissy about that.

Right now you’re in a pub, surrounded by writers, artists and socialites. If you recount an interesting tale to entertain and endear yourself to your fellows, you do not get to bitch about it if a twisted version of the same tale shows up 30 years later on the other side of the planet. Stories are contagious. My advice? Be honest. Don’t make shit up. Don’t treat this like a fiction thread. It’s a chance to entertain and move us with your life experience. That’s plenty good enough.

THE TOPIC:

"Dear Holiday Season: I hate you with flame, and here is why."

[Let me repeat, for the sake of the dinlows out there: YOU HAVE 300 WORDS. Lack of net access prevented me from being heavy-handed over the previous thread. No more free passes.] ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317067#Comment_317067 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317067#Comment_317067 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 16:59:10 -0800 Flabyo
It is my birthday on Christmas Day.

I could go into more detail, but you've probably worked most of it out already. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317113#Comment_317113 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317113#Comment_317113 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 01:58:29 -0800 Labyrinthine
Here's one from the vaults (do remember that all conversation is primarily in Russian):

My grandad occasionally has a resurgence of religious feeling, and insists at the last minute we get together to do some Jewish holiday or another “properly.” One Passover, a few years ago, was such a time. He had lit a candle in the window and was wearing a jaunty white headpiece which kept falling off. He also insisted on loudly mispronouncing some prayer or another at dinner. Meanwhile my mother was desperately trying to feed my brother his (totally not kosher-le-pesach) porridge, an event which escalated into him crying and her yelling at him and trying to shove the spoon in his mouth, still to the tune of grandad's incomprehensible Hebrew, and my grandma and I just shared this Look. It went something like "you've gotta laugh or you'll cry."

Then my grandad started going on about how we were supposed to have an egg, and bitter herbs, and a shank bone, whatever that is. So I rolled my eyes, got up, pulled a raw egg, an onion and a random piece of meat (raw) out of the fridge and dumped them on the table.

"And apples! Apples and honey!"
"Grandad, that's for Rosh Ha Shana."
"Apples! Ira, pick up my hat, it's fallen down again."

Next time I turn my back, what do I hear but a crack and the following:

"Whoops."
"What's the matter?"
"The egg's raw."
"I thought it was boiled?"
"...it's not."

The egg was now sitting drippily in a bowl on the table.

Naturally, we all cracked up laughing. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317123#Comment_317123 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317123#Comment_317123 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:34:16 -0800 Slick http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317128#Comment_317128 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317128#Comment_317128 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 08:59:07 -0800 oldhat
- When I was a kid the stress of the season would get to my parents, leading to a very loud argument and my dad leaving the house (and eventually coming back) on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (just before dinner was ready). That always ruined things for me.

- We don't do the trees anymore because my brother, who was severely disabled and adored the christmas lights on the trees, passed away. There's always a touch of sadness this time of year.

- I always end up buying my parent's presents to each other since neither totally knows what the other wants. This triples my shopping stress. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317153#Comment_317153 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317153#Comment_317153 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 15:15:58 -0800 Alan Tyson
I've got some good ones, but I need to think on just the right one to put up. Hmmm... ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317154#Comment_317154 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317154#Comment_317154 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 15:19:28 -0800 Purple Wyrm
I slammed into the ground, almost breaking my jaw and my right knee. The exercise bike followed, smashing me in the small of the back. A second later my pushbike - which had been leaning against the exercise bike - joined in, whacking me in the back of my head.

I lay on the ground swearing loudly for several minutes before dragging myself free.

I walked with a limp for the whole of January, and the exercise bike was a write off.

(believe it or not, I hadn't had a drink all day) ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317198#Comment_317198 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317198#Comment_317198 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 02:14:33 -0800 flecky http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317208#Comment_317208 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317208#Comment_317208 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 05:17:30 -0800 government spy
Didn't get to be with my family on Christmas due to work.

After the holiday they were vacationing in Florida, and on their way to the airport to come home, they were in an accident that put everyone in serious condition, and killed my grandfather.

After a month of helping people get out of the hospital, I had to fly home to my parents house and help make it handicapped accessible because my Pop wasn't going to be able to walk for some time.

Upon checking in with my mom, to get more instructions on what needed to be done with the house, she told me that my Christmas presents were upstairs in her closet, and I should open them when I get a chance.

So, it's like late February, I'm in my parent's house with a bottle of whisky and I'm opening Christmas presents. Its one of those moments where you start laughing, and then you realize that you sound completely insane. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317228#Comment_317228 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317228#Comment_317228 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 07:52:11 -0800 flecky http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317264#Comment_317264 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317264#Comment_317264 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:41:29 -0800 JP Carpenter
Not one of our better family occasions. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317482#Comment_317482 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317482#Comment_317482 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 01:22:42 -0800 flecky
When's the film coming out? Remember to invite me to the opening night.I'll be on the door handing out the vomit buckets.

Hardcore xxx shit mate! ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317501#Comment_317501 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=317501#Comment_317501 Fri, 02 Dec 2011 05:29:10 -0800 Timbo
I am still glad the fairy lights were unplugged though. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=318368#Comment_318368 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=318368#Comment_318368 Sat, 10 Dec 2011 06:34:21 -0800 flecky
Xmas cake!! ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319231#Comment_319231 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319231#Comment_319231 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 17:43:02 -0800 MikiM
Enter part of the Miki-saga:
------------------------
A few years ago, I was pregnant. Having never been pregnant before, I decided to give it a shot. I found myself just casually ignoring the fact that in a few months, I would be a mother. After three months pass, I find myself excited (“HOLY SHITFUCK, THIS IS REALLY GOING TO HAPPEN!”). Halfway to term, one morning I get up to go to class. My crotch is wet. I reach down and think, “I’m going to be the pregnant lady who pisses herself for months until the baby is born.” I smell my finger… it smells sweet. Amniotic fluid.
I proceed to call my MD. I am to come in right away. Ultrasound: 1/10 of the amniotic fluid left. They tell me that I’m likely to spontaneously abort. I go home on bedrest for a week, hoping for a miraculous reaccumulation. I’m scheduled to go back in a week later – 3 days before Thanksgiving - since the baby would be severely brain-damaged and is not viable if no change occurred.
A week later, induced. MD tells me it was just going to come out on its own at any time and there is no way that the baby would survive the process. I ask for a fuckton of pain and anxiety meds and won’t allow any non-medical staff in the room. I’m the only one to suffer this tragedy as a live viewing. Three days later, begging to have it cut out of me – I deliver after the MD dilates me manually. I had to do the FULL labor maneuvers to get him out, no surprise shitting of baby.
The resident is still in the room fifteen minutes post-birth. I ask why. She tells me, “he’s still alive.” 41 minutes later, dead baby. Day before thanksgiving. Fuck the holidays. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319245#Comment_319245 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319245#Comment_319245 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 21:02:57 -0800 Rootfireember
I hate hollidays. Not just because stress brings out everyone's inner asshole, but because family and friends of the family tend to die between thanksgiving and new years, and usually around Christmas. This year the death was an uncle, and an elderly friend of the family. At other times, it's been great aunts, grandparents relatives, and most of the people in my family who I felt I could really understand. One year the Holliday disaster was my stepdad's friend having his gun malfunction, and the pieces flew through his hand- all at a shooting range the night before Christmas. Don't ask me to explain Christmas eve at the range, it was a macho guy thing and has stopped.

It makes me edgy until a few days after new years, when it's "safe" again.
People keep telling me to get over it. That death happens.
My grandfather used to say "green Christmas, full graveyard" and laugh a funny- sad laugh.
He died a few years back, on new years, a few hours after the ball dropped.

As a child, I thought he was just being creepy and morbid. As an adult, I find myself repeating the phrase, only thinking it should be "Christmas season, full graveyard". ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319262#Comment_319262 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319262#Comment_319262 Tue, 20 Dec 2011 02:37:15 -0800 Rachæl Tyrell
Question: If we have more than one tale of holiday doom, can we make more than one post? One for each story relating to the topic? ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319273#Comment_319273 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319273#Comment_319273 Tue, 20 Dec 2011 07:45:18 -0800 RenThing
I hear you. We got news that our first child had a cystic hygroma (found in .1-.3% of the pop) a week into December. The ultrasound doc, who was the gentlest she could be, told us that in her experience she's never seen a fetus survive one as bad as we had. We had further tests done and we were told on December 23rd the kid had Downs at least and was most likely not going to survive. After a lot of soul searching my wife decided she couldn't go through delivering a dead baby and we had a DNC on the 28th. Between the 23rd and the 28th was Christmas with both of our families where we had to put on a smiling face and fake being as happy as the rest of them (they were looking forward to being grandparents very much) and we only told them after the operation. Worst Christmas ever. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319329#Comment_319329 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319329#Comment_319329 Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:54:51 -0800 MikiM
Anyhow, at least it sounds like you had another, hopefully healthy. :) ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319353#Comment_319353 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319353#Comment_319353 Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:38:54 -0800 RenThing http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319573#Comment_319573 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319573#Comment_319573 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:48:09 -0800 razrangel
I want to like holidays. But they tend to let me down. Nothing disastrous, worthy of a story, other than my parents used to get into epic fights that would roll well into January, sometimes to their anniversary in February - which made birthdays in between ever so special. I dunno. People get so heated up for MAKING a holiday special the specialness of the holiday gets ground under sometimes. Some yummy things to eat & drink, exchanging tokens of affection, peace on earth, you know...I don't ask for much. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319574#Comment_319574 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319574#Comment_319574 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 22:00:17 -0800 glukkake .

This feeling extends to birthdays & Valentines & just about all holidays. It was one of my favourite things of the past 7 years, getting to celebrate my boyfriend's birthday instead of Valentine's day (same day) so that we just couldn't feel bad if people didn't make it out but we got give an awesome gift of friendship and fun to all of our friends who did make it out. This year is going to be so weird... ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319575#Comment_319575 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319575#Comment_319575 Thu, 22 Dec 2011 22:04:19 -0800 Fishelle
I have a brother who has a form of early onset dementia. He stopped functioning like normal in his early twenties, and after a few years of struggling with this and trying to find some way to help, my parents decided that the best thing would to have him permanently committed to a hospital. They've been unwilling to accept the diagnosis, and wanted him to be somewhere he could get more tests and treatment.

Anyway, every year on Christmas Eve we go to visit him in the hospital and try to have a good time. Often we go to the most exotic restaurant we can find open at the time (slim pickings in Provo, Utah). Then he tries to run away or do some other similar thing. After he's opened presents (some of which he throws back at us because they are unacceptable), we head home. The night ends with at least my mom in tears, and the rest of us just not knowing what to do.

I know it's not really my brother, but this disease that's consumed him that makes things so difficult, but...

This year, he said he wanted to come home for Christmas. My mom said he was sounding better on the phone. I'm not really looking forward to this. ]]> http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319754#Comment_319754 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10363&Focus=319754#Comment_319754 Mon, 26 Dec 2011 00:24:08 -0800 flecky
I think i was nineteen at the time,addicted to heroin,broke and homeless.The public transport was stopping around five p.m on Christmas Eve where i "lived" in the north of England and the weather was cold as hell.Basically i was fucked.

This was in the eighties and there was a lot of smack coming in from Iran.My ex-girlfriend was having a relationship with a Iranian guy who had smuggled in a substantial amount and i somehow managed to worm my way into his good books to get some on credit.My plan was to deal most of it and have enough to keep me well for a few days.Having done this i needed somewhere to have a fix and sort the crap out into different sized deals.It was getting close to five and the only place i could think of going to was a mate's flat a few miles outside of Newcastle.He was in rehab and i had some way to get inside his place.

So i jumped the last train and travelled to a really rough council estate.All grey,foul buildings that no-one in their right mind would want to occupy.And it was dead.Not a soul in site and the streets where iced-up.I'd shoplifted a box of Complan food-drink which was my xmas scran for the next few days.Complan and water...

Anyhow,sometime into xmas day evening, i'd done in most of the smack and next thing i knew the Iranian guy and some other mean bastard where banging on the door looking for me.I skulked in the bedroom shitting myself.Eventually they left and i thought i'd treat myself to yet another fix.

Oh no...some dust,grime or whatever had found it's way into the syringe and i had what is called a dirty hit.Your head explodes with pain.You start shaking feeling like your going to die.I ended up in a chair watching Some Like it Hot on a black and white portable t.v.Boxing day came.No money.No smack.No transport.I was getting sick and walked about nine miles.I went to this house and who was there?The Iranian guy's mad friend who politely informed me i had a few days to pay up.Somehow i managed to.Fuck knows how.Everyone left the house leaving me in my misery.Around twelve at night i crawled to a dealers flat and begged a fiver's worth of gear.

Yep,that was a lovely xmas for me.

Mind you,the Complan food-drink tasted rather nice.I think it was vanilla... ]]>