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  1.  (10397.1)
    Here is your judgement-free space to vent, rant, show-off, smug-it-up, scream silently into the face of Internet apathy, and generally trepan your pressurized consciousness after Another Tough Week.

    Instructions: Tell us about the last seven suns. Tell us what you hate, what you love, what's pissing you off. Tell us what's broken about the world, tell us what you want. Tell us how you plan to change everything, tell us what you're building in your basement, or, hell, just dance or play a tune.

    I, we, and all of us are here for you. Smash your wordvenom against us.
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      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2011
     (10397.2)
    This week I discovered Scrivener. Holy cats, it's a powerful prog, very helpful.

    That's all. I swear to God, I am the dullest person on a board full of magicians and sexpriests.
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      CommentAuthorFinagle
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2011
     (10397.3)
    New manager starting at work this week, replacing the guy I knew who hired me and who I'd been buddies with forever. I may have to do actual work for a while.

    Curses.
  2.  (10397.4)
    Fucking fuck. Still totally broke, stressed out, looking for work...

    ...and looking like this. Got some goddamn face plague that dried the skin around my eyes badly enough for it to break, and makes my eyes be a shade of really fetching pink. I look like an angry garden gnome who's been drinking for two weeks, smoked a really hefty blunt and fallen face first on the asphalt.

    Talk about making a good first impression in an interview. Oh, and talking about interviews, I had to make my making-of interview looking like this, in full fucking HD.

  3.  (10397.5)
    Love story:

    Last december, I graduated from art school. I was determined to move to another city, looking for better job opportunities. I had to save money, so I would work for some time before moving. Just then, I met this girl. And never felt anything like what I felt for her. Never had that kind of relationship. We were really great together. But I was afraid that I would stuck in my hometown because of her, so I never was truly open to her, I always told her that what we had would only last until I parted. And she never wanted that, but she never made any attempt to persuade me to stay. The day came and I took a train to the big city. But we kept talking by phone, almost every day; too many "I miss you", "I love you". vBut I was very much on my own, like I took her for granted. That was 3 months ago. Then, one day, she stoped talking me. She became colder. And I started to loose my grip; started to became obbsessed, calling her, demanding her an explanation. I admit that she did not behaved in the best way. Anyway, I droped my job, buyed a ticket and returned for her. We arranged for a date yesterday. We met. Had dinner. Talked small talk. Then I told her why I returned, that I did not see how much she meant to me, that I wanted to return to make things right, things like that. And she told me that it was not a good moment, that she already met someone else, that it was a very difficult choice for her, because she missed me really much, but didn't knew if she had to carry on with her life, then she met this person, and she didn't knew how to tell me things, she got angry that I started to become demanding, etc. We talked a lot. And I confessed her my love. And, at the moment I told her that, I felt good. It felt right. And I realized that, because she meant so much to me, that I had to let her go. It was the right thing to do.
    So, that's my story. I finally met true love. But I realized that to late.
    So in a few weeks. I'm going back to the big city, to carry on with my life. To grow up and move on. But one thing I'm sure: I've never loved anyone that way, and I will never stop loving her. I will always love her, and that feels so right. It's hard to explain, to describe how it feels. But at last I know that I can grow up and become a man, for real. And I don't need to close the doors of my heart anymore. And for her, I will close that door, it is necesary, but I'll never lock it.
  4.  (10397.6)
    Got to go get a testicular ultrasound on Wednesday. It's probably not cancer, but it could be cancer. But it's probably not. But it could be.

    Fun.
    • CommentAuthorPooka
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2011
     (10397.7)
    getting myself caffeinated and mentally prepared for my phone interview with the Social Security Department for Disability.
    I don't have to play up the pain and lack of physical ability. I'm a mess....my whole body is fucked up in some way or another. I can't work on someone elses time table. hell, i have to struggle to get out of bed to get the grocery shopping and bills payed every few days. leaving the house is generally an ordeal especially in this miserably cold Ky winter weather.
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      CommentAuthortaphead
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2011 edited
     (10397.8)
    I have received news, and now I feel the urge to have a drink or 10.

    (Mind you, the news is objectively good, but subjectively rather complex.)

    Once I'm done with this level, I'm switching the gameplay options to CASUAL for 2012. The achievements ain't worth the trouble.

    ETA: And christ, I wish you people get all the breaks you need. I keep getting stunned in this thread, and language fails me badly, but damn. You guys are my internet family, and all too far away. Hugs, sympathies, and best wishes.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2011 edited
     (10397.9)
    Internet cripple attack.My legs seem to be working today which is a ok thing.My spelling and understanding of the english language are hitting a all time low,which is pretty embarrassing when i talk to my mate who can speak about 10 languages and do the Times cryptic crossword in a few minutes flat.It's pretty scary to observe but the lad is wasting away playing tunes at some trendy shit upmarket nightclub where the booze and the powders abound and the punters are a bunch of fickle Chelsea judgemental snotty nosed creepy West London trustafarians and awful market barrow boys who will have you over at the slightest chance.Insecure uniform wearing football fans who think the match is the the meaning of life.I hate football drunken gangs of wanking mindless pissed up craptocity.Getting a few cans in crowding round their mates massive TV reeking of testosterone and expensive body piss called aftershave.

    And if anyone thinks Notting Hill and Ladbroke Grove and that stupid thing called the Portobello market are cool and chic and bohemian then let me put you straight.They are not.I used to work on a stall there and lived all over that shitville.It is a mess of lunacy,drugs,stupidity and sad as fuck people trying to look cool in a area of London that once had a bit of underground class to it but has now been raped by property grabbing stinks.Stupid shops selling those instant as you wear false faded transfer T shirts of The Clash,The Rolling Stones,The Sex Pistols,The Beatles,Jimi Hendrix etc.Retro grabbing confused tourists buying crap so the can fuck off to their pukeholes as it gets dark to keep it all nice and safe.

    Why the hell did i tap that all in?

    Shit man!!
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      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2011
     (10397.10)
    Just got some really weird and unexpected news from the family. Nobody's sick or dying or anything like that, thank the stars, but apparently my family is a little more dramatic than I took them for, and as a result I'm incapable of doing something that I'd really want to do, been planning for all week.

    Yeah, I know, all-aboard the vague train, choo-choo. Just a little too strangly to really articulate it at the moment.

    You hang in there, guys. You're all The Good Ones. You all deserve better.
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2011
     (10397.11)
    My boyfriend of just over a year got a Christmas card in the mail from his mother back in Poland today. It was just addressed to him, not to us. Way to feel accepted by the family. I've already been frustrated by the fact that he knows my family so well and I hardly know his. Hell, this will be his second year spending Christmas with my family. Granted, his parents in a different continent, but I'd have thought his mother would at least make the effort to include me as a recipient to her Christmas card. This fucking blows.
  5.  (10397.12)
    @Fauxhammer: I'm neither a magician or sex priest, and am probably just as boring. (If not moreso.)

    @Vornaskotti: Ow. Looks uncomfortable.

    @JP Stargazer: Awwwwwww.

    @Purple Wyrm: 0_o I'm crossing my fingers for you.

    I pretty much have no right to vent as things are going generally ok right now. I'm sure that will change sooner or later, but until then, I'm going to appreciate that my life isn't being too shitty. So a general update will have to do.

    Went to a Mary Kay party Saturday, not because I had any interest in the makeup (overrated and overpriced IMO), but because it would mean me being social and making friends. While everything makeup related made me want to roll my eyes, it was fun to meet new people. Made some friends (I hope), and afterwards we went to a local bar, chatted, and one of the women tried to set me up with a guy. I'd actually met him before, but I'm currently not caring whether or not things happen, or if I'm really into the guy all that much. Eh.

    Apartment progress is progressing, and hopefully Xmas weekend I'll start moving into an apartment. I'll probably also have significantly less internet access, so I should get more of my personal projects done instead of wasting my time away with pretty distractions. I've also started a writing project about past experiences, which I have yet to post on time. And KPatrickGlover is being incredibly kind and beta reading/helping with editing so I don't make and utter fool of myself. Don't know how long it will last, but while it does, hopefully it will be interesting reading.

    Aside from that, there simply isn't much to say. Also, my brain feels like it's melting.
    • CommentAuthoricelandbob
    • CommentTimeDec 13th 2011
     (10397.13)
    @Purple Wyrm - Fingers crossed for you too man. I'm sure it'll be ok
    @JP Stargazer - Yayyyyyy and stuff.
    @Argos - Unfortunately in-laws suck generally in my experience.Hi everyone....

    First of all thanks to everyone with the kinds messages from last week. It was very much appreciated. Big loves to you all.

    I arrived back in Iceland last Friday. I wish i could bring you some messages of cheer, but alas it's not looking that way.

    My time last week with the family proved stressful and draining. Mum was moved out of the hospital and into the local hospice. the original plan of getting her better and moving her home by this weekend has been totally nixed. In fact, due to her mobility issues, she won't be coming home for Xmas/new year either. This has been hard news for us all to swallow.

    In terms of my mum's cancer, it's looking more bleak by the day. A lot of what we have have to go on is basically reading between the lines as the doctors & nurses will not give us anything concrete. But they have said that it's "aggressive" and that her cancer is "advanced". Although they have said that it's due to her mobility, the reality is that they don't usually have people in Hospices for a long period of time. It's now generally believed she'll be lucky if she lives till the end of February. We've had to have the "funeral plans" and "what are your wishes" discussion, which ironically went better than expected, but it had been tough on everyone, especially mum. The fact is that, even though she's being very stoic about it all, she is scared of dying. You can see it on her face and in her voice. She broke down when she was talking about us growing up, and she said that she was so worried for my brother and I, and kept saying sorry for all the mistakes she made with us. And that's the hardest thing for us both to deal with.

    We've booked flights to get back down to the UK next week. I'm getting along with it as such but it just feels like i've got a fog surrounding my brain. I'M not really getting much sleep and it's taking every ounce of will not to break down or fly off the handle in a rage at everything.

    But i am back at work. At least i have something to take my mind off it all...
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      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeDec 13th 2011
     (10397.14)
    I'm so sorry to hear that, Bob. Let us know if we can do anything, yeah?
  6.  (10397.15)
    @icelandbob: Me mum also had cancer, finished her therapy this year. I think I know how you must be feeling. So I'm sending all of my most possitive energy to you.

    Love story update: right now I'm hating her guts. I'm on that phase. Two months?? Is that how much we were in love?? Just enough so she starts banging another guy two months after I left??!! Two fucking months?? Love sucks, right now.
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      CommentAuthortexture
    • CommentTimeDec 13th 2011
     (10397.16)
    @icelandbob Can't imagine what you must be going through. Thinking of you, try and take it easy man.
  7.  (10397.17)
    @bob - that's horrible news - really sorry that you're going through that.
    @purplewyrm - good luck, hope it's good news.

    I'm just really bad tempered and stuck in neutral at the moment. Was doing really well a couple of weeks ago but got ill and went backwards, just had a week of work where I've been really wanting to make progress on a whole bunch of projects but I just can't focus at all - spent hours yesterday shifting invoices from one side of the desk to the other and getting stupidly frustrated. I did an entry for the Dredd remake/remodel thread, which wasn't exactly showstoppingly brilliant, but was hugely fun, and the first thing I've drawn in literally years - I stick it up and my fucking website gets hacked, not a big problem in the scheme of things but just one more damn stupid crappy thing - it's like whenever I pick a guitar or camera or something like that up, something stupid and crap happens to counterbalance the progress I've made - I drop it and break the socket, or my PC goes haywire, I drop a lens, that kind of bullshit just seems to be a kind of negative fucking midas touch. Feels like I'm posessed by the ghost of Basil Fawlty sometimes...

    Partner's dad is still in a critical ward - been moved off intensive care, which is good, but doesn't look like he'll be out of hospital for some time. Just hoping his mind is still there when he gets out. I think she's pretty shocked at seeing the extent of his illness and how he's declined - she hadn't seen him for two and a half years.

    It might be the case though, that if her mother can take the girls on Saturday night, that we can go out together for a meal with friends - which if it comes off will be the first night in over nine years we've spent on our own, and the first time in five years we've socialised together, which is quite a big deal. Think it'll do us good...

    peace to all...
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      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeDec 13th 2011 edited
     (10397.18)
    @bob so sorry to hear that, mate...

    Well, I managed to get me a dose of food poisoning and have spent today taking the day off. I HATE sick days and end up walking around the house doing stuff, which makes me worse in the long run and...blah.

    Weight is still an issue right now and I'm getting pretty depressed about it. While I've been told that I appear thinner (thank the boxing for that) I spent so long looking at the numbers go down that that's the only thing that's going to calm me down. And lately I've been seeing them go up and I don't...I really don't feel great about it. It's not even that much weight and yet I'm feeling like a big giant blob and am really not fond of my picture being taken nowadays. I don't know...the past little while for some reason haven't been good for me with self-esteem in regards to the looks. Bah. I hate that it's such an issue with me.

    As for more weight-related first world problems, I got my father a cookbook that I know that he wants, but would impact the progress he's already made. After we talked and he said that he really hoped we'd all cut down this year for the holidays, I've decided to return the book and look for something else. Just sucks because I know he'll love it but...yeah, probably bad for him in the longrun (it contains fried EVERYTHING).
  8.  (10397.19)
    @Oldhat: you are fine, and I'd totally go out with you if I were young and single.
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      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeDec 13th 2011
     (10397.20)
    @oldhat: Don't forget, you're probably putting on some muscle mass through studying The Sweet Science, which will make the numbers on the scale a less reliable indicator of your fitness.