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    • CommentTimeDec 23rd 2011
    Funny story: I awoke, got my glasses, looked at my clock.



    I wake up my wife, who calmly--well, as calmly as circumstances would allow--reminded me that we are indeed not working today.

    I'm up anyway. I'm an early riser.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeDec 25th 2011 edited
    Maybe it's a sign.My booster ran out on my mobile.If anyone from my past sends me a TX wishing me a happy xmas i will rise snarling and send them such shit that will hopefully make them never attempt to get back in-touch with me ever again.

    It's a common thing.You get your life back on track and people actually resent you for it.Shit,it may sound petty but this cold-as-ice-cow want's to meet up to get two poxy burnt discs of Game of Thrones back off me.Unlike me and my sad dongle she's got unlimited broadband but that's not the point.I gave her money,food,drugs and loads of my time.Sick,weird bitch is just using it as an excuse to worm her way back into my life.I'm keeping them.I hate lying but i think i'll tell her a team of insane voles broke in and nicked them.

    Right,i've had my xmas dinner;Oatmeal,toast and Marmite.

    I'm off to stalk around Holland Park and Notting Hill.Hopefully the streets will be dead.A shop may be open so i might get some second-hand comics and books.

    I know this thread is meant to be closed but it would be nice to see some word-vomit slashed against Santa's fat,red,bloated face when i get back.
    • CommentAuthorPooka
    • CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
    well, here's some word vomit. I'm pretty pissed and upset. this christmas I've had to sit by and let everyone else do the present buying. I didn't have any money myself. I didn't get to get my husband anything. Well, i got high jacked and brought out to his mom's for christmas. I don't travel well, and I've been sick. No one's helped keep me fed and that's a pretty bad thing. no one eats around here dammit. maybe once a day...stomachs killing off granola bars.
    last night i found out that because we left home, one of my best buddies had to spend chistmas eve alone, and my other best bud's step dad through a giant fit and ruined his families christmas so having a key to my place, he went there. I didn't get his message until this morning, but the poor boy's sitting at my house alone and I'm stuck here. On top of all that, i got word that one of my ex friends (knew the boy for ten years, he screwed us over and a lot of other people and was kinda a prick for a number of years), was getting involved in the occupy wallstreet stuff. trying to help people, protesting big gov and all that fun stuff...improving his life in general...
    so i mentioned it to my hubs this morning and he went off all pissed off that I was falling for his bullshit. we got into an argument about it. he's appologized for going off on me, but my christmas is pretty much shot at this point. I was just happy that he might be improving himself, instead of being a pos like he was before. I didn't intend to cause a big hubs hated him because he stole from us, but I had been friends with the guy for years before things went bad....

    I want to go home so very badly but i'm stuck here until after the whole family shindig. couldn't even go home if I wanted to because my truck is dead and we had to ride in with my hub's mom.
    Oh good...real food... not gonna get sick yay!

    dammit I want to go home.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeDec 25th 2011
    I am now 35. And drunk. Oh so very very drunk.
  1.  (10397.145)
    Happy Birthday! And a happy drunkening!
  2.  (10397.146)
    Had an over all fantastic christmas with the adopted family- for two nights in a row we were fed steak that took up the entire plate and was the thickness of some peoples legs- a bit much....

    the family discussion stared up about one of the daughters friends foster kids, and how much trouble they are having with her. Now this is my adopted family since i was homeless for the better part of a year, they joke that I'm their foster kid (was after high school was kicked out of the house a week before graduation). They started discussing how black families and mexican yadda yadda racist speal (which in and of it self was making me uncomfortable) but then they started saying that well they end up living like such and treating their kids like such and so on and so on bad crap. This is me sitting at the end of the table and getting up and leaving to the other room. Funny that little white girl me went though all of that crap they were talking about same as with those "other" kinds of family.
    It bothered me on a few levels- they have never known what it was like to be actually poor at all so for some reason white people living in poverty is alien to them (their house scared me the first time I was in it- it is that big), the cobbled half truths with severe racism falling in there, and well the fact that talking about things in such a context never occurred to them that it might bother me- it seemed almost unthinkingly callous. I think because my hubby and I are doing pretty ok for ourselves they forget where I was when they helped me out. I'd like to think I was being overly sensitive about the last part but I just couldn't help thinking over and over- white family's can and are just as much of assholes as everyone else....
    • CommentAuthorPooka
    • CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
    so i'm never going away for christmas again...
    on top of arguing with my husband at his mom's house, that evening I had found out that one of my best buds was stuck at home by himself on christmas eve...
    then the next morning I got a message from my other best com-padre saying that his family went nuts and he had no where to go but my house. luckily he had a key, but once again, another of my friends was miserable and alone on christmas because we agreed to leave town overnight. I felt so awful...I'm never leaving home on christmas again. If someone wants to see me, they can come by my house...I hate not being there for my friends when they need me...

    so...i worked things out with my dj. We're friends again and working together and all that. We've got a new understanding to our relationship I think, and i'm hoping we can maintain this friendliness. we're bickering about a girl we both like but it's nothing serious...just kinda friendly jabbing...neither of us truly want to corrupt the girl, she's too awesome and innocent for that, but we still pester the hell out of each other about it.
    He thinks I'm greedy because I'm bi....he doesn't like bisexual people, he thinks you should choose a sex and stick with I explained to him that sex with a male and sex with a female are entirely different experiences for me. I desire different things from my partner and I play different roles. Maybe I am greedy but I just don't feel fulfilled with just a guy or just a girl. I'm always wanting both experiences....meh...

    @comicbookbunny that sucks. my family is a bunch of white bread bland socially upright christian folk who I rarely go visit for similar reasons. I remember the last time I was there my uncle talked about how proud he was of swindling an old lady out of a lot of money by selling her land with a vague acreage estimation.
    There's an underlying current of unease when they are together. Thing is about my family, I'd feel better if they'd talk about controversial things, but they all have sticks up their asses and the conversations generally tend toward the mind numbingly bland. On occasion someone will venture into something interesting, but it's usually quickly shot down by my ninety something year old granny who used to joke about buying me a little colored boy to play with when I complained I was bored, and she's get absolutely disgusted and horrified if "the gays" come up, or anything at all ...not white bread and we sit for hours...staring at each other...everyone afraid to talk about anything that would make the others think less of you...
    I...have never fit in with that group....which is why i haven't seen them in about three or four they guilt trip me every holiday...sorry...not gonna drive three hours for husband hates the lot of them...i don't really blame him. there's buried secrets in that family I'll not go into online, but it's weirdness that I just don't wanna deal with...
  3.  (10397.148)
    Bought my 12-year-old daughter a really sweet Alienware laptop, and she could only speak on the phone with me for just a few minutes because she was so busy playing with it. I guess that's the best compliment right?

    Woke up this morning and I had emails from her that she had created some sort of cartoons overnight. Haven't been able to look at them yet (work) but might post them later.

    Sidenote: Her mother hates me so much, but even complimented me on my choice of laptop for the kiddo, she's a programmer (and sometimes speedfreak) so I guess that means I did a good job, right?
  4.  (10397.149)
    @govspy- I think it means your gift was a hit. ;)

    Dogsat all Christmas. Finally leaving the dogs for coffee in a few, then going home to give the cats some love. Since I'm sure they've been driving Gary batty for Christmas.

    Spent yesterday watching dr.who. First time I've done it since a kid. It was fun, and between that and the irc chat, Christmas didn't feel so horrible. Didn't feel Christmassy, but it also wasn't anywhere near as stressful as a traditional one.
  5.  (10397.150)
    I had my family Christmas at my sisters. We spent Friday night and did the whole stockings/presents thing Saturday morning. Then I dropped the kid off with my ex and went home. Actual Christmas day was quiet. I woke up with an idea of how the orchestration needed to be for the intro to one of my songs. I've been blocked on the damn thing for months, but just got up and deleted what I'd already done and started fresh. I think it works and I'm moving on into the verse. The orchestral piece of that song is the last major bit of songwriting that needs to be done for the album I've been working on for the last two and a half years. I'm dropping a half completed song because honestly, I'm in a different place in my life and don't want to go back into the dark post divorce headspace that the rest of the album comes from to write lyrics for the last song. Then it's a few overdubs, laying the vocal tracks on a few songs and mixing. I can't wait to be done.

    In the afternoon, I went to the beach and got my feet wet. Apparently, the water line didn't account for the odd really big ankle coating wave. From there I went to see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I'm thinking I may need to blog about my reaction since it touched on a lot of things I've been thinking about lately regarding writing. At the moment, I'm thinking the post will be titled Two Rapes Don't Make A Right. Or maybe instead of writing that, I'll actually get some work done on my comic. That would be crazy.

    This morning, I was clearing brush until my back started bothering me. After three back surgeries, I'm a little paranoid about that. I went in to take some Advil and Tylenol and, without thinking, took all the prescription drugs that I take first thing in the morning instead. I realized that about 10 seconds after swallowing. So now I've overdosed on a couple of drugs. I have no idea how they are going to affect me. I take one of them at night too, so I'll just skip that, but the other... Crap. Speaking of writing, I'm going to take a shower and then go do some.
    • CommentTimeDec 26th 2011
    Woke up around 9:30am Christmas Eve, wandered into the office to say hi to my boy, and he says "look at your snake." Ended up my poor Frankie was dead. Great start to Christmas. We were going to put him out to freeze before we figured out how to bury him, but when we moved the box he was in, he actually moved. Called every vet in the city, and the only one who does snakes was not on call. Nobody would even try to help him. Ended up driving him to a close vet hospital just so that they could put him down. I felt terrible, because 1) He died on the way there, and 2) After doing some reading online, it seems he had been suffering from the illness for at least 3 days, but we had no idea that what we were seeing were symptoms. I mean, a Ball Python that is lethargic? Not as if that's unusual. I guess it helps a little bit knowing that there is no cure for what he had, so I couldn't have saved his life, but I just can't help but think about the poor snake being offered food and love, and him slowly dying.

    I know that most people would say it's just a snake, but DAMN I loved that snake.

    On the plus side, I managed to suck it up in time to have a wonderful Christmas with my family. Wonderful amounts of food, excellently thought-out presents for and from everyone, and lots of drinks and laughter. I'm lucky to have such a close and inviting family - I know others aren't so fortunate. I wish all of you the best, even if Christmas wasn't.
  6.  (10397.152)
    I am still fucking sick.

    I was feeling much better yesterday. Today, not so much. Maybe its because I put up Christmas decorations, or maybe its because the antibiotics aren't what's making me feel better. Maybe my improvement was from the whole garlic cloves I swallowed that same morning. This would make sense, if I have a systemic fungal infection. Goddammit. I'm itchy EVERYWHERE.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeDec 27th 2011 edited
    @ Rachael:Sorry you still feel sick.

    @ sellmeyoursoul:What you did with your meds reminded me of the times i'd forgotten i'd already taken my dose of methadone(probably because i was so mad i didn't know if it was night or day) and i ended up double-dosing myself which really pissed me off as i despise the shite.

    Me,all i want to do at the moment is swear and curse.I'm in that awful place where you feel so depressed that all you want to do is sleep but when you get your head down it's foul.Hyper-surreal nightmares involving my mother,college,homeless projects,crack,losing and finding stupid possessions...A plastic child's toy gun.I could go on and on about my dream-scapes but will reserve that pleasure for my shrink next week.

    I've been doing a bit research and from experience i know my recovery from addiction is going to take years.I'm not just moaning here.I feel like utter crap all the time.I guess i'm doing good on the detox front.Down to 1mg of Subutex.Fucking around with the odd downer when it get's too much so i've got to watch that...

    I keep telling myself it will get better but that's like telling a cow that's about to have it's throat slit that it's going to taste nice as a quarterpounder.

    Ah,fuck it.Please nuke London for me,America.Just give me a hours notice so i can go on a rampage.
    • CommentAuthorPooka
    • CommentTimeDec 27th 2011
    @ampersand I'm really sorry to hear about your snake. i have a four year old ball python that i've had since she was a baby and I'm very much attached to the spoiled rotten little snake. If you own a snake you very quickly find out that they all have distinct personalities, temperaments , and can be affectionate little critters.
    It sucks to lose a pet... :(
  7.  (10397.155)
    So, this is still going, then?


    Well... it seems I might finally be not sick with the throat death. I really do think that it wasn't the antibiotics at all that cured me, but my decision to ingest two raw cloves of garlic a day and suck down massive amounts of ginger tea. However, I seem to be growing more and more uncontrollably itchy. I keep scratching wounds in myself when I try to sleep.

    Also, I'm finishing up school, and as much as it was bumming me out a few weeks ago, the idea of dropping out, at least for a semester, is filling me with utter joy. I think, until I get my brain and hormones straightened out, that it's a bad idea for me to take on things that cause me a lot of stress. Clearly, it effects my overall health. I think I'd greatly benefit from some time off just finding myself again and making things.

    Gasp. I can't even imagine what it will feel like to not have school hanging over my head, not have Disability issues looming, and not be afraid that I will end up homeless. It's all very exciting.

    Also.... Y'know how there are those people in the world who are emotional vampires, the ones that suck the life energy right out of you? And y'know how you spend so much time with them, and that perspective, that you think the world is a grey place with terrible people all? Well.... sometimes you are lucky enough to get snapped the fuck out of it.

    I think.


    Maybe I'm starting to internalize the notion that "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."

    Or rather, what I always have been from the beginning, underneath the terrible terrible happenings.
    • CommentTimeDec 29th 2011
    Boyfriend got laid off from one of his part-time jobs today. Not fired, laid off. They changed the hours around and he was only part-time there anyway, but still. He'd been working hard and he was good at it. Granted, he never liked the job so it's sort of a blessing in disguise, but it's an awfully good disguise.


    @Rachael, now, this may not be my place? But the idea that you're taking tons of antibiotics whenever you can get them, from a medical standpoint, seems a little odd. Just cuz that tends to breed super-bugs in your body (whatever is left behind is what hasn't been killed by the antibiotics you understand, so the next gen of those buggies is also resistant to the antibiotics). I just worry about you is all. Be careful.
  8.  (10397.157)
    Oh, I'm not just taking them whenever. The antibiotics I had been on previously were for the Lyme, and were prescribed. I only ever ordered the exact same drugs I'd been given by doctors. This last bout was a Z-pack, which is what I am given every time I've ever gone to the doctor for the past 10 years with this recurrent tonsil madness.

    I'm rather wary of antibiotics myself. I hadn't wanted to be put on ANYTHING, but after nearly a full month of being sick, well... I was willing. Hoever, realizing that the garlic probably helped moreso makes me want to steer clear of the antibiotics even moreso.

    But thank you! Concern is comforting. I'm sorry about your boyfriend. At least it didn't happen right before Christmas? :/
    • CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
    Dear homeless man standing outside the laundromat down the block as I do my laundry:

    KNOCKING ON THE WINDOW TO GET MY ATTENTION AND MAKING KISSY FACES AT ME IS NOT OKAY. ESPECIALLY AFTER I MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I'M IGNORING YOU. Also not cool: leering at me as I walk past when I leave and then following me halfway down the block.

    On the upside, I decided to duck into a coffee shop so that I could "lose" him, and the coffee shop below my house has very very nice staff.
    • CommentAuthorPooka
    • CommentTimeDec 30th 2011
    erg...been researching some new symptoms...think i might have systemic scleroderma instead of psoriatic would explain a bunch of my stomach and acid reflux problems....guess i'll try to find a doctor to get me tested...either way the treatment is about the same, and my body wouldn't be able to tolerate it so...bleh...
  9.  (10397.160)
    So my ex-wife... Kinda crazy. Proof? Here's a text exchange we just had.

    Her: (from completely out of the blue) You don't have rabies do you?
    Me: Huh? Not that I'm aware of. Why?
    Her: Some guy on the cape does
    Me: Ok.

    So let me ask you, whitechapel. Do you have rabies? 'cuz I heard someone on the Earth does, so... um... is it you? If so, please keep your bites to sensual nibbles.