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      CommentAuthortonymoore
    • CommentTimeDec 3rd 2007
     (104.1)
    i grew up out in the sticks in Kentucky without much money. i was a wimpy sickly little kid and had little interest in sports, but i loved to read and watch TV and draw.

    My mom worked a lot, and was a widow with me and my little brother, so we spent a lot of time with our Grandparents. my uncle was 19 when i was born and still lived at home with my grandparents when i was really little, and i spent a lot of time with him when i was young and in many ways he became my male role model. He was into comics, computers, model rockets, Kurt Saxon, Star Trek, and horror movies and basically everything i love today.

    being young and living so far from town and on a farm, i had the time and solitude to get into things a lot of parents would be mortified by. electrical experiments, fire and explosives, and poking at dead things in the woods.

    i learned about sex the same way i learned about most things, by hearing others talk about it and then looking it up in the encyclopedia when i got home.

    Also, i was in the gifted students' program, and all my friends were the same kinda outcast as me. horrible at sports, and breezed through school in ways that often made others seem to resent us.

    So yeah... isolation, curiosity, and time, and the general influence of a nerdy uncle.

    -T
  1.  (104.2)
    Perhaps it's because I preferred reading to playing when I was a child? I really couldn't say.

    -D
  2.  (104.3)
    Fat foreign kid raised by a hippy dad and a slightly OCD mother in a bible thumping little village in West Cork.

    So I started watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.... Fill in the 13 year blank (or something to that effect) between that and me posting on Whitechapel, and you probably know pretty much everything about me.
  3.  (104.4)
    I was an introverted kid. I hate bringing these things up, because when I say it out loud it sounds like some sort of plot to a bad TV movie, but I think they're factors in what got me to where I'm at.

    My real dad went to prison when I was about 1, my mom left him, and it was just me, her and my grandparents. My grandfather died of cancer when I was 9, more introversion and confusion. We lived in a pretty crappy neighborhood, so I kind of stuck to myself. I read a lot, watched a lot of movies, and skipped a lot of school as I got older. My real dad and his dad were both murdered (probably something drug-related) when I was 12. We found out about it when it came on the evening news that night. Lots of other weird incidents, always kind of antisocial, went to a few shrinks, had low self-esteem, social anxiety, blah blah. As corny as it sounds, good books and good music is what made me embrace being an oddball.

    Now as an adult, I'm the opposite. I've got great people skills, I'm ambitious, and confident. I'm still weird, but I'm happier that way. I still have quite a tremendous amount of misanthropic feelings, but who doesn't today? The awkward teenage years kind of fuck with you, but if you survive those, you really outshine most of your peers. A lot of people I knew seem so miserable with their lives now.
  4.  (104.5)
    I don't think it's so much a process of "becoming weird" so much a process of not "learning to pretend to be normal". Brain chemistry had the upper hand in my development, and while I learned how to control the impulses my brain was sending me, because it took so much effort to do so, I didn't even bother until I hit high school. This never particularly bothered me, as all of my friends were different in their own ways, and we all just turned a blind eye to each others' quirks.

    That said, I was given several Carl Sagan books, quite a bit of Heinlein and Marion Zimmer Bradley's Mists of Avalon at the same time in Junior High and it was all downhill from there. I would never have quite the same view of logic, religion, gender and sexuality as the rest of reality seems to expect me to. I think my way is more fun.
  5.  (104.6)
    @Vespers: Are you being serious?

    Yes. I learned at a young age I define myself, not someone else's opinion.
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      CommentAuthorVespers
    • CommentTimeDec 3rd 2007
     (104.7)
    Damn, man. That's truly awesome. I mean, I dunno how I woulda reacted at 5, but I know for a fact that if someone said that to me now, I'd take it as the high praise it truly is.
  6.  (104.8)
    @Vespers: I was too shocked and puzzled to reply at the time.
    • CommentAuthorThe Skoot
    • CommentTimeDec 4th 2007 edited
     (104.9)
    I don't think there was anything that made me weird. No offence to my parents, who did as good a job as you can expect raising me and are in themselves normal (or as 'normal' as you can be), but I honestly believe that I was somehow born this way.

    As for what made me realise that I was weird? I was a social pariah until past my twentieth birthday, shunned by everyone, unable to participate in any conversation fully without people talking down to me, telling me how I'm wrong or just plain ignoring me, and just generally being thought of as weird by everybody. Finally something snapped in my head, and I figured that if people thought I was weird, then I'm going to fucking well embrace it, for god's sake. Since then I've crafted (and am still crafting - it's a very fluid process) a facade that I use in real life that allows me to be weird enough to satisfy my inner self whilst still being socially acceptable. It's not easy, and it's taken it's toll on me, but it's helped me to survive amongst humanity.

    Of course, on top of that there's the constant feeling that everything around me is wrong, which I was unable to process properly until about a year or so ago, which meant that it came out of me as an intense self-hatred.

    This is sort of off topic now, but it's so hard to look at people and know that you can't know much of what they're thinking unless you spend most of your time with them.


    Oh god, I know exactly what you mean. There are times when I'll look at people walking past me on the street and try to realise that they're all individual human beings completely separate from me, or look out of the window and try to see that there are different lives going on in each building, and I just can't get my head around something that big. I have no idea how anyone can live in this world - truly live in it, rather than just sleepwalk through it - and not be weird for some reason or another.

    EDIT: Woah, big post. I guess I had some venting to do ;).
    • CommentAuthorjensen5
    • CommentTimeDec 4th 2007
     (104.10)
    Weird Al Yankovic

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