Not signed in (Sign In)
This discussion has been inactive for longer than 5 days, and doesn't want to be resurrected.
  1.  (10419.61)
    Wrote a sad prison story today.
    • CommentTimeJan 14th 2012
    Gov spy- I think you will be the one to finally make me get the interweb in the house, cos I can't be reading that at work and blubbing at my customers!
    @ Rachael- that's great news, hope the year continues to bring more of the same.
    As for me, things are moving in surprising directions with the coffee shop but I'm not going to share until I know for sure what is going to happen for fear of jinxing it.
    hugs all round.
  2.  (10419.63)
    Found a decent crepe place within walking distance of my apartment.

    @Rachael: Fanastic news! Sending good vibes, as always.
    • CommentTimeJan 14th 2012
    @Rachel - Awesome! *high five*

    @fauxhammer ACH Fucking suck! I hope you & everyone are alright. Been through enough wrecks on my own - even when I'm ok the situation is still a big crapfest to deal with. Here's a *vile hug* for you.

    Did pretty much nothing today. Why? Well I started drinking yesterday around 930 at a cheapo bar, waiting for people more than hour late to their own party. Naturally kept drinking after they showed up. Continued drinking in the wee hours when we relocated to their house and was trashed enough in the predawn hours to partake of a little MJ - which I haven't done since college.

    So yeah, I've either been unconscious today or moving very, very slowly. At least I finally got in a shower.

    It's been a great day. }:>
    • CommentTimeJan 14th 2012
    Tempted to start a renegade Open Mic since what I have to contribute isn't especially hug-worthy.

    After a multi-hour comedy of bureaucratic errors while trying to renew my health card yesterday (yes I just moved and no I don't insist on being sent paper bills -- why am I being punished for being reasonable and conscientious? Why haven't you noticed the 21st century, dear government?) I finally got the diagnosis: that weird spot on my back I noticed a few days ago is officially a full-blown infection. So I cancelled all my blood-letting and wrestling plans for the day, because I'm disgusting and no one should ever touch me again. Then after about six hours of feeling sorry for myself I came back to reality and took a picture. And then the people on the internet (who are apparently also unable to have exciting Saturday nights) liked it a whole lot. So that was nice, I guess.
    So now I'm post-processing a bunch more shots from the rope-bondage thing, and obsessively watching every Youtube video with Mark Lamarr in it. (Marry me.) And, you know, eating peanut butter from the jar, and all that other stuff you do when you're trying to distract yourself from being OH SO ITCHY
    (Hey didn't I just go through this ridiculous itchy skin thing a month or two ago? Yes. Yes I did. What the fuck? you ask. What the fuck, indeed.)

    Also I spent several hours transcribing a fifty-minute-long interview which was mostly solid gold, then having to cut it down from 5,000 words to 1,700. Which is probably still 700 too many. I guess we'll see.
  3.  (10419.66)
    Yesterday was one of those kind of low-key awesome days. On Friday night spent some time writing and reading in a bar, then off to home and to bed after a short session of Crimson Alliance with the fiancé. Slept like a damn ton of bricks, the kind of sleep that follows after unwinding from horrible amount of stress. Up late and refreshed, out into the world to a great art exhibit with Russian avant-garde from the early 1900's, which really hit the spot with me. Something about the clear colors and the cubistic shapes they preferred just appeals to me. Of course, RUSSIAN CUBO-FUTURISM just sounds pretty damn cool :)

    Upstairs there was another exhibition, this one was from Akseli Gallen-Kallela, who's a rather well known Finnish painter from the same era. A lot of his work is about Finnish nature or about the Finnish national epic Kalevala. I'm not nationalistic as such, but seeing those paintings live, especially the Kalevala ones, made me go surprisingly misty and get a lump in my throat. (Kalevala has actually had surprising amount of influence in fantasy literature via Tolkien, who picked some of his stories almost directly from there. Found an English translation of the book online, for those who are interested.)

    The high art was followed by dinner in Ilves, which is a bar/restaurant attached to the biggest and oldest rock club in Finland, and that place usually leaves you waddling out carefully and looking for a maternity clothes store to contain your aching gut. It was followed by some low culture indeed, the second film I almost walked out of ever: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. It was so fucking dumb it was embarrassing, and not good entertaining kind of dumb, but just dumb-dumb.

    An evening of video games, West Wing and good reading, feeling really happy and content, and relaxed. The latter hasn't had a big place in my emotional inventory for far too long.

    Life is good.
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012 edited
    Welp...It's 5.53am and I'm on a train heading for NYC where I'll be doing a very quick transfer to the train heading back to Toronto. I'd sleep, but there's a businessman speaking in phone voice about the trends of "Black America". So with my current awake time I may as well give a little update.

    This past week was fucking amazing.

    To elaborate a bit more, it was wonderful seeing some of the sights that Washington, DC and the good state of Virginia have to offer. The museums, the four-hour walks in the city, the beer (Dear LORD, the beer. Highlights included a Dogfish Head World Wide Stout that had been aged for 1 year!), nerding out in the Library of Congress' Photography archives (I'm considering my library card there the ultimate souvenir) and hanging with Alan and meeting with his friends (one who threatened me with death if I hurt him!). Oh! A fun thing was discovering a hotdog place on Capitol Hill called DC-3 and getting a free "Spicy Special" hotdog for free because the Food Network show Hot Spots was filming there and needed people to interview while trying it out. They ended up having enough people, but I still got the free dog and impressed the Food Network people by saying the special, which was stuffed with chili peppers, could have been hotter.

    And on that whole relationship front, happy to report that things went well. I knew that in this week we'd see a bit more of each other on a day-to-day (and more human) basis and I was a touch worried how that would go. Turns out we're still pretty crazy about each other, so hooray! Going out to dinners aside, the best moments I had were laughing at his jokes as he drove me to the morning commute bus, watching Mission Hill or The Untouchables with him, waking up/falling asleep in the same bed as him and, this was awesome, BREWING with him (and this recipe of his creation is exciting us all. Less than 24 hours and it was bubbling every two seconds!).

    And while I'm already missing the hell out of him, I'm happy that I have someone like that in my life.

    Right, may need to think about packing this computer. My stop is near and I need to prepare to do a dash to get a really good seat with leg room.
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
    The new semester starts Tuesday, it is the first of three for the year and by the end I will have a piece of paper that says I have an Associates Degree in Network Administration. Then I will start the hunt for a job that is, vastly, different from where I am currently at, I am very excited for this. It will be a long, and grouchy, year that will end very well. Aside from that I've been very tired, all the time, even after sleeping a full night, which I know has to do with my weight problems (read being very fat), but between work, school and my duties at church, I do not have much time for much else. That being said, I have, since I started being food conscious, lost nearly 100 pounds. The rotten part is that I am still fat, just less so now.

    @oldhat and @anchorbeard I am so very happy for the both of you and wish you the best. I can honestly say this the first time in years that I've seen a relationship start on message boards and twitter after reading the twitter back-and-forth thinking, they should probably just get together.
  4.  (10419.69)
    @oldhat - that's really cool, wishing you both well.

    Did the best thing for a scattered mind today, found a big sodding bloody hill and marched to the top of it. Harting Down on the South Downs, not been there before, but it was a sunny day, and you could see ships in the English Channel from the top of it.

    Back to the purgatory of work tomorrow, but at least I got some fresh air.
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
    Theatre nerd like whoa. Reading a fantastic, weird new play called ROADKILL CONFIDENTIAL that I am absolutely convinced is right and perfect for my company. It's funny and dark and asks some pretty hard questions. Then we sat around after for an hour to talk about it and it was just a fun exercise (for me) in nerding out about theatre criticism, literary analysis.

    Then on the way out I was handed a big old project to nerd up over the next week. Anyone who's ever read Jean Genet, absurdism, and in particular Theatre of Cruelty, knows these are some seriously dense subjects. And, better yet, I have to get as deep into the history of the French-Algerian war and as many aspects of Alegerian (and Moroccan) culture as possible. Dude, I was asked to go be nerd! }:>

    Now if only there were some pay in all this...
  5.  (10419.71)
    Just when I thought last weekend couldn't get more awesome, it did. I've struggling a bit with creative stuff and it's been ages since I've really "fallen through the screen", but that's what happened yesterday. I lost a damn hour, just writing and coding, without realizing where I was, totally engrossed in the process. It really has been ages since that kind of flow has happened, I was and am so happy I could dance.
  6.  (10419.72)
    Wrote about saving someone's life. Also: lots of vomiting.

    Also, someone reminded me of the food loaf.

    Food Loaf

    This is what happens, if you're in solitary confinement and you act like a jack ass. Normally officers serve your meals on a tray through a very small food slot. If you try to assault the staff with your utensils, or throw food at the officers, or generally act inappropriately involving your meals, you will be served a food loaf.

    I have not seen it during my time with the Feds, but back when I worked at a Texas state facility, it would consist of whatever the regular meal was, baked into a brick-shaped food loaf. That meant if the meal was spaghetti, green beans and mashed potatoes with jello for dessert, it would all be baked together. I can't imagine it would taste good. But there it is in all its glory.
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2012
    I'd eat it.
  7.  (10419.74)
    My new job is really nice, I'm again surrounded by talented and creative people in an interesting project, and my job is to poke my nose into every part of it to see what happens. I see a pattern forming here, and the pattern is good.

    I noticed this week, though, that the new job started a bit too quickly considering how brain-tired I've been, so I basically took a three day sickie for stress and work exhaustion and fucked off to the cabin. This was not skipping work, but a couple of legitimate sick days. I've been working on four jobs at the worst times throughout the autumn, including most weekends, and I got half a day of pause when switching jobs, so I think I really need to cool down my brain.

    So, arrived here yesterday night. Nice banks of snow everywhere. Fired up the sauna, faffed around on the net a bit - then an evening sauna to sweat out the demons, walking naked through the yard in a January night and slipping under warm covers in the cabin, next to a roaring fireplace, with a book and a laptop. Waking up in the morning in a warm comfortable nest under the covers to the sound of snow and wind storm howling outside.

    This defines coziness and relaxation.

    Sadly I can't really ski or go to the lake: when I went to make a hole for drinking water, the ice crackled and dropped down in an area few meters in diameter around me when I stepped on it, and whereas it's usually almost half a meter thick on that shore, now two good whacks of the ice spear made a hole. I don't think I'll be going somewhere where there's 50 meters of water below my feet...

    So, planning on spending the days coding a game, reading, playing IF, smoking fish and barbecuing meat, and poking my nose out if the weather permits. I think that come Sunday, I'll be one really mellow guy.
  8.  (10419.75)
    I found a dog wandering the street when I came out of work, got him on a porch, called the number on his tag, and got him back to his owner.

    That's all.
      CommentAuthorPeter Kelly
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2012 edited
    @Mostly Harmless - WIN! That was the shortest, happiest story I've ever read.

    @oldhat - Reading the joy in your posts as of late brings joy to me.

    Me? well posting under my real name makes it a bit awkward to share things at times...Frankly, i usually share too much and talking about work can be....bad for one's career at times. That said, I need to share this. (though I reserve the right to come to my senses and edit everything below out)

    My role at work changed about a year and a half ago and while it was a great move upward for my career at the time, it's since turned into middle management. I don't do any of the stuff I was hired to do (and am really fucking good at), i don't feel respected a lot of the time and when I was approached last spring about moving across the country for an amazing job I was more then ready to jump ship....then they offered the job to some one else instead.

    Which sent me into a 6 month spiral of frustration and anger and blah blah blah.

    Just before X-mas my wife verbally bitch slapped me, told me all the things I needed to hear (but didn't want to) and snapped my out of my funk.
    I've genuinely changed my attitude. I'm happier, and while not LOVING my job, I'm making the best of it and I'm nicer to be around (mostly).
    Tonight, I came home to a simple e-mail that came from across the country asking me if i was still interested in heading out there to do all the things I am really fucking good at doing. Now I haven't actually been offered the gig, and I don't know that I will take if I am, but I feel like a million bucks right now.
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2012
    This isn't so much vile hugging as grudging optimism.

    A while back I posted in an open mic thread that I have a paralyzed vocal cord. I also talked about how I used to be a singer. Well, I basically stopped singing because, shame on me, it was too fucking hard. It depressed the shit out of me that I wasn't as good as I used to be.

    (and I used to be GOOD. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but we're talking senior district choirs in high school, and even all-state once. As a soprano, and sopranos are a dime-a-fucking-dozen. I was in several singing groups in high school, had solos a lot, could sing insanely difficult stuff, and I had a 3+ octave range.)

    Well this is where I am now.

    I was listening to Call Your Girlfriend by Robyn and realized it was basically right in my old range. So I figured I'd record myself singing a bit of it as a "progress" report of some sorts. Some fucking progress right now.

    And I'll be honest, it's depressing as hell. The "lower" parts of that song are right on a break and my low voice has been fucked for years now. I'm not hitting notes. Granted, the microphone in my computer isn't doing me any favors, but still. It's really frustrating.

    However, it's something. I'm getting a little more clarity than I used to. Maybe I'll get back to being able to sing without constantly having to focus on my breathing some day. Besides, I only just started my voice therapy, and it's focusing more on speech than on singing. SO that's something.

    Ugh. Fucking fuck ass.
    • CommentAuthorBankara
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2012
    Ugh, just got out of an hour and half long argument with my sister, who is bi-polar and a recovering addict. I want to help her be OK but I feel like there is literally nothing I can do for her because she cannot fucking listen to anyone else and her entitlement, jealousy, pride, and anger are out of control. She is breaking up with her fiance because she cannot let go of her jealousy. There is no one else on Earth who gets under my skin like she does. It seems to be her talent with most folks, actually. The screaming matches that she got into with my mother when I was a kid put me off of raising my voice for a lifetime and yet she is so infuriating that all I want to do is scream at her, shake her, and tell to grow the fuck up. She is 11 years older than me and yet she acts like a 14 year old. I love her, she is blood, and she understands me better than most anyone but she infuriates me because she uses that knowledge against me. 8 years ago I walked into a crack house in LA with one of her oldest friends and after a week of visiting her I pulled together a crew of people who still loved her and staged an intervention and got her into rehab. She has been clean since and I give her massive credit because no one comes back from where she has been but she still expects the world to pat her on the back and congratulate her when what she actually needs to do is take responsibility for herself and her life and move the fuck on! I have a lot of friends who have been through the rooms and almost all of them have come out on the other side as better people so perhaps I am just perplexed at why she is the sole exception. She never recovered from our father's death when she was 18 and I try, I really fucking try, to be sympathetic but I of all people shouldn't have to be. That was my Dad too and I was only 8 fucking years old! I ain't perfect, far from it, but I don't expect the world to roll over on its backside for me and I went through the exact same shit as she did. I have fought, struggled, failed, gotten better, failed again, crashed, fought harder, and then come out on the other side of that shit only through sheer stupidity and perseverance and yet when I try to talk sense to her she cannot hear a fucking word of it.

    So, the fight began because I defended that same friend who helped me to save her, who just went through a bitter divorce and is heart-broken, but who failed to call my sister when she came to town on business because her job is super-intense and she simply cannot invite my sister into her life right now because of the superfly-TNT-atomic-bomb-shitting nightmare that my sister is. I defended the woman who convinced me that my sister's life was worth saving and she fucking excoriated me for it. Because she knows better than me. Always has, apparently.

    Why the fuck would I add this to this thread? Perspective, mostly. Venting, partially. Once the vent has run its course though I have to admit that as infuriating, frustrating, maddening, and hateful as my sister can be I am grateful for every fucking day that she is alive and it would break my heart right in two if anything ever happened to her. I have to step up now and be her big brother again. She would fucking KILL ME if she ever heard me refer to myself as such, but that is who I am. We got a long way to go. I aim to be there every step of the way. I love her, she is my family.

    I guess too, that I add this here because I could use the vilest, most base, and slime covered hugs that this forum has to offer. Thanks for listening, Whitechapel.
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2012
    You've got it, Bankara. Take care.
    • CommentAuthorBankara
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2012
    That's the idea. Thanks, mate.

This discussion has been inactive for longer than 5 days, and doesn't want to be resurrected.