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    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    I have no booze. It's very, very sad. Believe me, if I had any - especially any whisky - I'd be tossing it back as I certainly think after the last week I deserve it.

    But not after today. When I slept in til the afternoon and never really got out of my PJs.

    But so, the last week. A week ago Sunday my theatre company read a play that I thought was really cool. I had a lot of commentary for it. That's not altogether relevant to the ensuing week, it's just that's why I was in the room when people in the company asked me to research, do dramaturgy (you don't exactly do dramaturgy, you are a dramaturg, but I can't figure out better language when it's project to project) for a different play. They have been thinking about workshopping that play for a good month and probably solidified that a week before the reading a week ago Sunday. So... they could have asked me to be dramaturg quite a while ago.

    A dramaturg does a lot of things (and half the time the work includes job definition and parameters). But I basically work out what is in the play, what happens in it, what themes it touches one, what kind of play it is, what references it makes, what kind of structure it has and what (is anything) that can mean. I research its history, what may have influenced it (artistically and sociohistorically) and what it influenced, and I research the playwrite - his life, his interests, who he admired and hung out with and what people who admired and hated him had to say. I research the theatre criticsim and philosophy relevant to it...etc, etc. YEah it can turn into a HUGE project. And for a play like Jean Genet's the Screens, it definitely was.

    I spent a week shoving information into my head as fast as it would go on the French Algerian war, Algerian history in general, its politics, the various religions and cultures, famous people in its history and looked into how it's all perceived today. I read up a bit on Genet and several of the people in his intellectual and creative circle - Antonin Artaud, Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, Jacques Derrida, Peter Brook. And I studied their theories in the Theatre of Cruelty, Theatre of the Absurd, some Existentialism and the Surrealist and Expressionist schools of art.

    My brain is a mush. Saturday we went in to start the workshop and I offered my thoughts as I got them in to the conversations. We moved through the space, discovering our relationship to the story and text and started working out what WE could say or express through the play. I got home and crashed hard.

    I wanted to warm up and get some old voice acting lessons in front of me well before my voice acting classes on Sunday, but it just wouldn't come about. Sunday I pulled myself together and headed to my voice classes... Eight hours of acting. Ok, not straight through because it wasn't all me, but when I wasn't up I was paying attention to see what I could glean from the other students. By the end I was utterly fried. But you know what, I was also golden because I had totally realized a couple of objectives - I did well on pieces that suited me, got some direction on pieces that didn't suit me and had a fricken blast on dialogue pieces that the teacher had pulled just for me. WoooT. Was happy to tell him what a pleasure it had been returning to his class repeatedly. Big time awesomeness!

    Home and...more sleep. Eek. Today flowed by like water through sieve. Well it was nice to rest but I kind of had some stuff to do. Like review my Japanese from last semester so I'd be ready for class tomorrow. I had thought I'd take care of it earlier in the month but then...oops, there was all the dramaturgy. So I guess I hit the books tomorrow? Not sure when I prep for my next voice class then, or get rolling on voice auditions. *sigh*

    I suppose it's a good thing I'm not getting drunk tonight, but I wish I had just a nip of something fine.
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    I had a visit with my physician yesterday. All is well, aside from my blood pressure being high and the fact that I think she knocked my prostate off its moorings. IT'S A GLAND, LADY, NOT A FUCKIN' CUE BALL.
  1.  (10462.43)
    @rachel it's not the cooties. it's that the boys in your neck of the woods must be dumb for not chasing after you.

    I think I've delivered enough pizza. It's far past time for me to find another way to pay my rent, but I'm drawing a blank on a job that will pay the bills as well as delivery does on the same sort of time scale, save for bartending, which in new orleans generally requires this irritating thing called provable experience.

    Everything else is peachy. no major disasters looming, no problems I'm not already well aware of. Either something is about to change significantly for the better, or everything in my life is about to go down in flames. Not sure yet which is the more likely scenario, although experience has taught me to plan for the latter.
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    I don't have much to be upset about. Still treading water, and my job is annoying me more and more (the people there, particularly. Customers are difficult, and some coworkers just suck). But yesterday was nice. I made a lemon-rosemary coffee cake at my parents'; got to see the building they're building as a storefront, kitchen, and storage for their pick-your-own berry farm and climb the unfinished stairs to see the unfinished second floor (I kinda felt like a daredevil, as I don't go out of my way to climb things I could easily fall from), spent time w/ the fella that didn't involve us getting in a tiff about something, and I cleaned! It's kinda sad when I look back on it, but I just feel like there's so little in my life to feel okay about. Still, I didn't feel sad or restless yesterday, so it was nice.
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    I am wracked with all sorts of worry right now.

    Lets back up a bit: I am currently working on an indie video game at a startup company made by me and two friends (a couple) from university, though this has always been much more of their baby than mine. For the past 8 months or so I've done little else but work on this game. I haven't been paid, which is fine because I am lucky enough to be able to afford time on this project, and they haven't had any money to pay me with. Whatever, it's good experience and I'm hanging out with people I like doing the thing that I love.

    Recently, however, things have been ramping up quite a bit. Over the New Year is when we decided we should form a company, and since then we've all been working full time on this project. The problems start to set in when you realize that I have spent over 8 months on this, and they've spent around a year, and we are still working on the tools to make the game, rather than actually making the game. To this day we still don't actually have any playable content. Last night I finally spent some time thinking about all this, and that's when the worry started to set it. Worry that it'll be at least another year of full time (likely unpaid) work to make the game we have set out to make. Worry that one of the other two people (the one who actually works on coding with me) sees this more as a tech demo and a gateway into a paper. Worry that if I cut myself loose from this project I'm going to be losing two very good friends. Worry that if I don't, I'm leading them on under false pretenses.

    I'm really undecided on what I should do right now: whether I should keep devoting full time hours to this project, or I should start looking for work. Though at least in the sort term, I think I'm going to try and make something small that's a) unrelated and b) playable.

    Long story short: upper-middle class white guy worries about being able to make games full time.
  2.  (10462.46)
    @Morac - Talk to them now! I want to say don't worry, but I don't follow that advice myself so I can't tell it to you. BUT you need to be clear as to where things are going. And then, when you've talked it over, e-mail them what you guys talked about so it is completely clear what everyone expects from the project and each other. I've worked with friends (on much, much smaller projects) and I find having expectations written down ahead of time prevents all sorts of issues/assumptions.

    ME? I'm worried I've turned into the office bad guy. I've come in a tripped over the mess my coworkers have left, so I sent a polite e-mail reminding people to clean up. I've had to explain to people why drinking during the work day is inappropriate (not having a drink, I mean "DRINKING") and now how I've had to spell out that when some one speaks to you about your punctuality, the proper response is to come to work on time, not continue to arrive 30-40 min late everyday.
    I'm shocked at the attitude of some of my co-workers. Most of them are pretty awesome, and I work in a pretty causal environment, but I can not believe how people think they can take advantage of things.
    • CommentAuthorroadscum
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    @Rachel: For delicate clothes and suchlike, bagging them up and sticking them in a freezer at -18C for a couple of days should kill any unwanted invertebrates.
  3.  (10462.48)
    I have no whisky in hand; it belongs in the gut anyway.

    My job is killing me. It's in "IT" but it has nothing to do with the cool stuff, just turning pieces of paper that no one has ever looked at into digital files that no one will ever look at, and phone calls from whiny and infantile users who can't change their password every 90 days without someone holding their hand. Unsurprisingly, my doctor has just declared my blood pressure to be "a problem" (along with the 30lbs I've put on in the past 5 years). I can almost see 40 from where I'm sitting, and I'm stuck in a dead-end job that someone half my age could get... such as the fresh-out-of-school kid who sits next to me, who loves it because she gets to talk to people all day on the phone. And I hate talking to people on the phone. It's more money (and insurance) than I've ever made before, but that's it. I'd say to-fucking-hell-with-it, but between my age and the responsibilities I've picked up (e.g. a couple people depending on me for a place to live), my old "career" of delivering pizzas and selling whatever isn't really an option anymore. The bright spot in my life these days is making comics... but that's a money-losing proposition for the foreseeable future.
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    @Peter Kelly: Thanks for the advice. I think the bone that I am choking on right now is that I really don't want to be the guy to tell them that the past <i>year</i> of work isn't going to amount to anything other than that intangible fancy known as "experience".
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    @rachael giving 'em a good wash is a good thing. don't want to be wearing clothes & then have a dead bedbug fall out of a sleeve into your tea. And while D.E. is bad for your lungs, it's not INSTANT DEATH bad. Especially not when your lungs are candy coated in a fine tobacco tar from years of smoking. I dismantled & dusted & bagged up my office chair in the dust for a month on the fire escape & when i brought it back in I just wiped it down with a damp cloth and kept on trucking. I'm sure there's still a bit in the crevices even now, but I've never had a reaction to sitting on it. Fucking bedbugs. Yell at our landlord. Also, don't forget, you can possibly steam clean a lot of the dust away on more delicate items that can't be tossed in the wash.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    @Morac - you have to talk to them. Don't be confrontational, there's probably fair chance they might be worrying about the same things. But if you don't clear the air it'll just be much worse further down the line. With any project like this, you do really need to think in terms of having some stated up front contract. Even if all it states is 'we work for nothing for a year, then we revaluate. If it folds, this is what each of us owns from it'.

    And you're not working for 'free' really. You're working without pay, with a view to there being some pay in the future. Something like that has to be in black and white, no matter how good a friend they are, or there's potential to be taken for a ride despite the best intentions in the world.
  4.  (10462.52)
    I think I'm late, but fuck it, I'm a bastard what does what he wants when he wants. No whiskey (the office frowns on that - plus it is the family of booze that my stomach will not tolerate, ever since I abused the JD on my 20th birthday). So a while back, I bitched about my right hand going numb. I finally saw a neurologist last week. Apparently my C6 and C7 nerves are responsible for the numbness/tingling. I get to sleep with a neck brace for the next two weeks. He also thinks I may have the beginnings of carpel tunnel (although the tingling goes up to my elbow, so not really) so I'm also wearing a wrist brace for that time period. If it doesn't get better, there will be more tests, etc. The fact that two nerves are involved is really freaking my shit out. If it were one, there could be any number of sources, but two, in the same region sounds like my degenerative disc disease is back and in a shiny new location. I had a few good years. I really don't want to suffer through chronic PAIN again (as opposed to the residual chronic pain that I have now. Constant pain, but only an annoying level of pain, not the can't get out of bed without narcotics type of agony that I lived with for about five years). Hopefully I did just tweak something and the braces and Ibuprofen/Acetaminophen cocktails I've been taking make this go away. At least for another several years.

    Oh, and work's been crazy busy (hence my overall quietness on the internets lately). The good news is, I'm getting promoted. Not in a more money sort of way, but in the more responsibility and visibility sort of way. Hopefully, that will lead to more money down the line.

    Stay well Whitechapel. Cheers.
  5.  (10462.53)
    I have a job interview tomorrow um AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh i just put my resume up last night.....
  6.  (10462.54)
    @sellmeyoursoul - I had similar problems, which led to surgery several months ago to fuse two of my vertebrae and stop pinching the nerve. It's still not up to spec, but at least the business fingers on my drawing hand no longer twitch and drop stuff when I try to use them. One note about your diagnosis: sometimes they'll say "C6 and C7" referring to the nerve between those two bones, so unless they were really clear about it being two nerves affected, double-check what they mean by that.
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2012
    @comicbookbunny - Rock it the fuck out! Money has been such constant source of ARGH for me and mine that it's almost hard to notice anymore. Like the leaky faucet I've learned to sleep through, until it gets far far worse that's just the state of affairs until something positive breaks. But i really hope this time the idea that the economy is turning around a little and friends are picking up more work is a real thing. Break a leg, chica, you deserve it.
  7.  (10462.56)
    @Morac - Better to be that guy, then them not having any idea. Flabyo is right though, avoid being confrontational about it but don't let this continue much longer. It'll drive you nuts (and being able to have awkward professional conversations is something you want in a relationship like this)

    as for me, Christ almighty what a day.
    The guy I had to talk to about his punctuality? He revised his invoice to reflect what he "thinks" he worked but he also adjusted the rest of the week to reflect him coming into work late. To be clear here, I talked to him twice, and now he seems to be planning on coming in late everyday for the rest of the week.

    And then I ran into my brother on the way home from work, only to find out he's lost his 2nd job in 2 months. That guy can not catch a break.
  8.  (10462.57)