Whitechapel - OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T11:42:55-08:00

All right, my slithery emorats. We're going to try something different.

I'm going back to my original plan of letting the OPEN MIC thread sit open for a week. I think it was doing some good, letting people get things off their chests. But it was veering into the territory of Self Absorbed Whingewank, with none of the support/affirmation/lewd jokes we all also need to counteract the Bleurgh.

(I may initiate a one-night-only "anything goes" chat-style thread in the near future.)

So from now on your performances at the steely Whitechapel microphone will ALL and ALWAYS be divided into three sections.

1: The Boo. The Get-It-Off-Your-Chest. The "I've-Had-A-Shit-Week-And-I-Need-To-Vent". Your chance to scream silently into the face of Internet apathy, and trepan your pressurized consciousness. Deposit your spleen here.

2: The Huzzah. Wherein you tell us something which goes just a teensy way to mitigating the effects of the psychic turd you just laid on our heads. Perhaps it's a tiny hint of hope in an otherwise bleak situation. Perhaps it's an unrelated Thing Which Happened which made you smile rather than frown. Shit, maybe it's just a silly joke. Show us you can cope as well as carp.

3: The Applause. You will choose one of your fellow whitechapellers, from THIS SAME THREAD. Doesn't have to be the person who posted before you - just someone whose story touched you. And you will offer them a word of advice, or comfort, or support, to help them with their own SECTION 1 Whinge. Doesn't have to be much. A sentence, a word, a bloody emoticon - whatever. Just a paltry donation to the art of Thinking Of Others, mmkay? And try to avoid schmaltz, please, or the Urethral Maggots will feast anew. Circle of life, kids.

Naturally, the first person to respond here is excused from Stage 3.

No idea if this'll work or not. But if it doesn't work it'll be failing for all the right reasons.

I, we, and all of us are here for you.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T14:00:45-08:00

Ok- here goes
THE BOO-
My girlfriend's step sister was knocked off her bike two weeks ago and received some serious head injuries as well as more than one damaged vertebrae. It was touch and go for a few days but thankfully she has regained consciousness and though she is facing a long road to recovery we're thankful that there is a road at all!
my business partner's boyfriend has just been diagnosed with Lymes disease which sucks hard.Thankfully the doctors believe he will respond well to the anti biotics and I hope so too.

THE HUZZAH- As I've mentioned before I have recently been trying to work out a way for me and my colleague to take over the running of the coffeeshop where we work.
After several unfruitful iterations of a business plan we have finally settled on a scheme where we could all benefit.
Essentially we have been given control of the menu and reinvigorating the look of the place in return for a decent commission on any increase we make in the profits.
I really couldn't have asked for a better deal especially as it means I don't have to borrow tens of thousands of euros from my family.
Sure it means I'll be working six days a week for quite some time but as I'm finally getting to do the "nice things for nice people" dream I have always had I really couldn't let that bother me .

If you are interested in what we're going to get up to , I 've been spending quite a bit of time on the Amsterdam Coffeeshop Directory forum trying to spread the word of the changes we're making. You can see it here if you're interested.( it drops into mid thread when I introduce myself)
so Huzzah indeed

Finally, APPLAUSE for Si and this new spleen venting format, looking forward to seeing how it works.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T14:05:35-08:00

1. Since the last open mic, my parents made a big fuss about a piece of art I made and posted online. (It's on an old artist's thread if you want to know the piece.) My mom threatened to cut me off financially if I didn't take down the blog. So I did. Since then, she's given me money but we haven't had any pleasant conversations or anything. I've only spoken to either parent once, briefly on the phone and obviously not pleased with them, yelling a bit in the one case with my mom, in the past couple weeks. Just been feeling out of sorts since then. I haven't had any great ideas for more art. And even if I did, I don't know if I've got enough fight left in me to really make anything that says how I'm feeling and show it to anyone.
Since I'm still in need of money, even with parents help, and because it's fun I did a nude modeling job yesterday for a photographer friend. I started my menstrual cycle mid shoot. So that was embarrassing. We ended early because I don't know how to use tampons. He still paid me, and so I feel a little guilty about that, too.

2. The photographer I was working with was super nice and understanding about everything. It wasn't the first time this had happened to him, and he knew how to deal with it pretty well. Also, of the hundreds of nude ladies he's seen and shot in all these years, I quite possibly have the best boobs.

3. @Si Thanks for the thread.
@nelzbub Good luck with everything! I hope the health of your loved ones improves. And congrats on getting to chase your dream.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T14:35:36-08:00

Fishelle- cheers
I'm not one with the vocabulary to discuss matters artistic, but I must say I've always enjoyed the art you share here. I think the obviously personal nature of what you produce is a large part of its appeal.
Please don't let your parents judgement put you off exploring your obvious talents.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T15:34:41-08:00

THE BOO: Think I may have risked a friendship by seeing my friend sent off safely after he overdid it on the booze last night. In those situations I am very uncompromising and go on sort of a mission to make sure that they are safe. My friend...more saw it as me not trusting him and not allowing him the dignity of finding his own way home. As a result of him getting mad at me trying to make sure he was safe, I got a little mad too. Now he's not picking up his phone or answering texts. I know I did the right thing, but I'm just worried that he'll continue to not see it that way. He's an old friend and I'd hate to see something bad come from something like this.

THE HUZZAH: Got a bonus at work, which is going right in to savings. Enjoying the hell out of video games and taking on some cooking experiments today. Looking forward to it.

THE APPLAUSE: @Fishelle, I've e-mailed this to you before, but once you get out of school and sustaining yourself financially, you won't have anyone to answer to for your art (not that you should be answering to anyone for it in the first place). It will get better.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T15:54:24-08:00

The Boo: Dick of a week, folks. Dick of a week.

The Huzzah: I have a short week this week. Writing, cleaning, internetting for Thursday and Friday.

The Applause: @oldhat, better have him pissed and safe.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T16:22:36-08:00

The boo: Working, pretty much, full time, while going to school full time is pretty draining and I really need a rest. Maybe sometime next year. Speaking of work, I'm pretty damn tired of doing the same shit everyday, which is why I am going to school, and in 11 months I will be job hunting. That is still along way away, to me at least.

The Huzzah: I made the Presidents list for the Fall semester and I have finally broke the 100 pounds weight loss mark.

The Applause: (almost wrote applesause) Fishelle, I LOVE YOU.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T16:36:54-08:00

1: The job-hunt. Had three interviews on Friday; only one place seemed like it might be any fun. Dropped off another resume yesterday. Don't expect to hear back. Meh.
More importantly, my academic references for my masters applications continue to be completely fucking MIA. If my applications don't get seen because some unexpected life circumstances came up I am going to be super pissed. I just hate the fact that a "complete package" requires work by other people. Accept me on my own merits, people. Fuck.

2: At the same time, my masters apps have been SO MUCH FUN. Writing proposals from scratch with no idea for a topic in two days? Damn, I miss school.
Also, my apartment is amazing. Got some pictures with which to adorn the walls. Started peeling the seven layers of paint in the bathroom. About to finish off the kitchen (for now, until I decide-on/find-on-a-mistint-shelf a trim colour). Living room is done as much as it needs to be to host a party. Bedroom is a disaster but I keep the lights off in there. Doing laundry is somehow spiritually cleansing these days. Also, I've been having some great sex. Just sayin'.

Applesauce: Fishelle, seriously, that painting is great. You should start an art blog anonymously, just to have it around, and then put your name on it when you get your independence.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-05T22:05:28-08:00

I was just about to post angry elsewhere and suddenly thought: I wonder if there is a WC SPLEEN thread open? Thank sweet baby Horrible Warning for you, WC SPLEEN thread. Oh, ok, speakeasy thread. Yeah, whatever.

To the henceforth strictly demarcated tripartite business:

THE BOOOOOOO
Dealing with childish druggy fuckwits and their aggressively urgent personal ego issues? No longer my idea of a good time. Fuck you and the horse that you so desperately wish you rode in on. I WILL KILL AND EAT YOUR PUTATIVE HORSE. Probably. (I most likely wouldn't)
Ultimately, some folks just need to recognise that taking a lot of drugs is no substitute for developing an actual personality. FFFFFUUU- etc etc.

THE HUZZAH
Went for dinner with a clever, funny, kind, strange and heart-stoppingly beautiful woman last week and had an amazing night. In mostly unrelated news, the Total Destruction Event Horizon appears to be receding for now; straight A's for last term's work.

THE APPLESAUCE
@nelzbub - Congrats and best of luck to you in this venture, keep that menu feasible.
@oldhat - I don't trust any of my friends, but I still find myself forced to trust them not to hate me for doing the terrible things I occasionally have to do to them, somehow. What choice do we really have?
@Fauxhammer - No useful thing to impart, just best wishes for you and yours.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T03:50:46-08:00

THE BOO: I have the SARS.

THE HUZZAH: My course is going well, getting better marks than I ever got in undergrad, and I got permission to do the new Weaponizer Magazine as my Editing/Publication project. Just bagged an interview for the mag with a writer, someone pretty amazing and high profile, which I know will get many of the denizens of this forum pretty excited. It's good to be in this position, getting good feedback for my work, but also incorporating what I do for the love of it into a course which gets me academic credit. I wonder where we go from here? Anyway, I'm looking forward to selling some magazines hand to hand this time. OH and another huzzah, next week there will be A Visitor to Glasgow, need to hit up City Creed and Will Couper and whoever else I can find to celebrate this person's arrival. I'm being cryptic because I don't know if it's a secret that he's here?

THE APPLAUSE: Hooray for City Creed's success in romance! Hooray for Oldhat's valiant drunk-shepherding! I did the same thing for a mate the other night after he fell over in my flat. Hooray also for Fauxhammer! Keep on keeping on, brother.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T04:09:08-08:00

Rockin

The BOO I've been unable to get myself on a useful schedule for a month (call it a new year's thing) and I've wanted to so I could get something done in accordance to with my goals instead of random things people threw at me. But it's been failing horribly. I go to bed in the wee hours, sometimes at sunrise. Makes it impossible to do anything whatsoever before noon, which as often as not wastes the day. Then when I look at the next day I can't figure anything out for it but to get up first thing and attack. For instance: tomorrow I have to clean the bathroom. I mean have to. It's been way too long and now the toilet is screwing up, necessitating a visit from the plumber which means either show off how nasty it is, or get to it. So ok. That. And plus I should finally get to the gym and activate that membership that's been sitting around. And I need to go to the library, either to return a bunch of books or renew them. And I ought to study Japanese, I haven't and class has been in session for two weeks now - it's not going to get any easier. And in the evening I have a meeting with my theatre company. Oh, and some where in there I need to fit in all of my voice stuff: practice, auditioning and writing to a couple pros. It just feels like... no fucking way.

I'm tired and have a ton of work to do and no idea where to start and the pile just gets bigger all the time.

Another thing: I wrote to a teacher/voice pro over a week ago and never heard back. There was some meandering talking in the email and some direct questions. And fuck I know, I know it's pointless to get all fussed at hearing nothing. But it's hard as fuck to not second guess myself right now. Did I piss him off? Did I come off as an idiot? Maybe he didn't get it - either in sense that the email didn't get to him or in the sense that it was incomprehensible. I'm trying to get over myself. But fucking flustered and feeling really let down by myself. I dunno. I can say "whatever" and shrug, but the anxiety just won't fuck off.

The HUZZAH I have a lot to get done. i'm not wallowing without direction and wondering why I'm even here, alive. I'm a little bit stressed out but I'm not confused and horribly depressed. Sweet. Last Monday my theatre company pulled off a presentation of a project we broke ourselves over and it was just purely for the sake of art. It was raw and creaky and it cut and it swayed and was bloated on one side and too wiry on the other but it was some serious art, motherfuckers, and it was good. 24 hours ago I was at a party (at this point in time it is 4am) and still hanging by the fire with another hour before I would leave. It was Piquarius, the annual party to celebrate all Pisceans and Aquarians jointly. It's always a mad, trippy, epic affair as only giant, rollicking parties thrown by Burners can get. Gotta love a party where surviving all by itself becomes an objective. }:>

The APPLESAUCE Allana, I know well the misery of applying for jobs. Maybe network with professors, TAs and maybe any classmates with whom you're still in touch. Maybe they can give you a good lead or two or maybe they know of other good resources so you can keep your options open as well as keep people talking about you. Also, I am jealous of your great sex. };>

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T07:26:58-08:00

I feel like I've been avoiding these for ages. I dunno, I just haven't felt like sharing. But I think I can manage it this week.

BOO: Listless, as always. Always feeling like I'm meant for more, but not knowing how to get there. It isn't as crushing as it usually is, but that's because work has been kicking my ass and that's a good distraction. It's finally getting busier in the store, but the only thing that means is that even though I'm a cake decorator (and that was a fucking year-and-a-half challenge to get them to give me the position), they still expect me to be a clerk part of the day, too, to make sure the counter is covered, since they "don't have hours" and can't cover their fucking asses. So I get fuck-all done. It's frustrating, and I come home w/ hip pain and back pain and the other day some nerve got pinched in my neck so bad I had to stop every 10 min. and cry. I have to take time off, or I'm going to mouth off to the wrong people...

HUZZAH: ...but I do have vacation time, now, so that's a possibility. Already know I'm gonna use part of it to go to Heroes Con later in the year, which'll be cool. Also, the fella and I got our tax returns today and yesterday, respectively. I can get a new computer, and get new shoes, and a new toothbrush, and new glasses, and other things I need but always put off because we end up w/ so little money at the end of the week usually. Overall, I'm in a more optimistic headspace than I normally am. It's nice.

APPLESAUCE: Thanks to Beamish for introducing the "applesauce" thing and making me smile (also, mazel tov on the weight loss). To everyone chasing after their dreams, keep fucking going for it. To Si, thank you for the new format. We all seemed kinda lost there for a bit, but I think this'll be good for us. To Texture, I think if he had the time, he'd be blabbing about his trip right now.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T09:15:03-08:00

Well! A lot changed in a day, so here we go...

THE BOO: Money problems. Self-worth problems. Self-image problems This [not contagious] rash on my upper lip that may be caused by anxiety or be due to the mild case of psoriasis I have [both are plausible] is back. It lasts 2-3 weeks and I end up just feeling so hideous with it. This thing has been getting more and more frequent in appearances and it's bugging me. A doc appointment is coming up, so I'll work it out. As for weight...hahaha. Yeah.

THE HUZZAH: Friend I was worried about earlier texted me saying that he feels like an absolute ass and apologized for crossing a line with me when I'm only trying to make sure he's safe. All is well. I've also been playing a copy of Portal 2 he loaned me and dear LORD is it entertaining.

The more I talk about it with him, the more I'm REALLY excited to go to Chicago with The Boy in the Spring. It'll take a lot of willpower to not steal one of his fedoras and talk like Elliot Ness.

THE APPLESAUCE: @texture, no, he's being pretty vocal about it. At least on twitter. :P

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T10:01:46-08:00

Boo:
Meds and I aren't doing well. Sick andnbrainfuzzy, and forgot them last night while dog sitting. Now prone to random crying jags and massive bouts of self hatred. Woo! My brain hates me, so do the meds'

Huzzah:
Dog sitting. And watching the Asterid ep of Fringe while dog sitting. The boys are good company for naps and tv watching, even if they show their love by squashing me. They got peanutbutter in their toys, too.

Applesauce:
Hugs Britt, Hatter and pretty much everyone who has had a shitty week. At least we've made it this far!
@texture- take care of our Andre!! Give him a hug for me, damnit!:)

Anyhow. That's all. Nap time for roo.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T10:36:44-08:00

Boo:
Haven't written much in a while, but managed to write a little more just recently. Hoping the well isn't prematurely running dry.
Falling a little short in the going to regular AlAnon meetings, but I'm trying.

Due to me paying all the bills solo while my lady was in rehab, I can't afford the ring I wanted to buy her so I could propose by our 4 year anniversary on Leap Day. I'm really bummed out about it. I had some amazing plans for our anniversary, I think now it'll just be one really nice dinner.

The girlfriend successfully guilted me into staying on the day shift. I hate the day shift. But otherwise I won't be home during the evenings, and that was prime drinking time, so I really need to be home during that time. I dunno. I think I have a nostalgic desire to be on evenings, the 3pm-11pm shift, but I don't think I'm that guy anymore. That's weird. I used to be a stay-up-until-dawn type guy, now I'm up-at-dawn guy.

Also; I'm fat.

Huzzah:
Did my taxes for the first time ever. Back in 2003 when my daughter's guardian first filed for child support, the court decided that I owed $15,000 in back support. Nevermind that I had been paying my daughter's mother child support previous to that; if it's not through the court, it's a gift. Anyway, now that my last bit of tax return went towards my debt, I've now paid off all but $2,000. We've agreed the entire amount will go towards college, and within the next few months, I'll be debt free. I have a strange feeling once I finish paying off the back support, she'll finally let me have custody. I'm okay with that. Hell, I'll still pay child support even if she gives me custody. It'd be worth it.

Applause:
@Oldhat: I'm jealous of upcoming Chicago trip. I'm planning on going in the fall, bringing my lady to meet my parents, but so wish I could be there sooner. Chicago springtime is fairly cool this time of year. I say go with the hat-stealing and gangster talk. Also, good on you for being responsible and getting someone home. In my opinion, it's not about them. It's about feeling that you know you did the right thing, instead of doing nothing and questioning yourself afterwards, "Why didn't I do something?"

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T13:50:38-08:00

BOO

House, car, children are falling to bits and need fixing. We have no shower, still, after 15 months, the boiler is on the blink, the conservatory roof apex has fallen off so we've got buckets and towels everywhere, there's damp in one daughter's bedroom and various bits of fence, carport, gate, study and garage are showing increasing signs of dilapidation or collapsing altogether. We're still living in piles of boxes even though we moved in two and a half years ago, which is starting to really piss me off, but a) partner won't deal with any of it, and b) she won't let me deal with any of it either. So we're in a kind of domestic chaos status quo...

I managed to smash a headlight and put a big dent in my car door last week, and my smallest offspring got pushed off a slide at preschool by Someone Else's Child (the very worst sort) and has had her front tooth smacked right into her gum. Not sure yet if the tooth will survive, I know it's a baby tooth but worried it'll leave her with dental problems, and for some reason I seem to be far more protective of her than the older two and really hate seeing her in discomfort.

And I have another fucking cold.

HUZZAH

Weight finally started going down again, 3lbs gone since Friday, which is awesome. Getting far stronger mentally, finish CBT in a couple of weeks and now feel far better equipped to deal with the chronic depression and keep it at bay. I also bought a Pod amp modeller for my guitar, so I can play and record in the house during the week - been practising like crazy and am getting the skill back again after letting it rust for far too long. Am off work next week - it's half term so I get to spend it with the girls.

APPLAUSE
@Roo - it's a pain when you have to weigh up which is worse, the medicine or the illness, but usually it's the illness - hang in, and I hope it gets less brainfuzzy for you.
@govspy - envious of the whole 'debt free' thing, but that's entirely of my own doing - good luck with custody
@nelzbub - ace news for the business, hope it works out
@all have a good week...

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T14:11:00-08:00

Teh Booz: Starting a new job tomorrow at a dental lab. I am very good at my job and am validated on how much they like me (there was serious drama where i had been layed off before... serious drama- let me do my job people I care not about your weird crap) It is an unheathy job to work at, you breath glass every day. I'm going to wear a mask see how it goes. Yes we need the money, yes they will pay me well, yes the hubby told me I was more than welcome to leave when I wanted to. I'm just doing my best not to be full of apprehension. I'm likely going to have to pick up my own supplies if I want >actual< supplies and not oh we scrounged this up. And EVERY person that owns a lab ends up being a total ass crack- they seem nice in the beginning but magically are a dick after a bit a real serious dick that takes it all out on the employees.

Huzzah: Things with the hubby are good we found out some stuff about him that is good that he is still processing about his brain. It makes a lot of sense and helps A LOT. His teeth We hope will be done by early march. This has been a long road and i so want to see him smile happily. Went to a convention this weekend to vend make up the cost of everything but had the best time evers!!! Met Sellmeyoursoul and geeked out totally, got a batman dress, and someone gave me the smiley psychotic button! Saving up money to buy a very good camera to take likely so so pictures of cool things I have in my head- want to bring them to life on the models, and To finally get the website going.

Applause:
@Allana Keep trucking on sweetie- it was 2 plus years before anything opened up in my market I'm glad that you are keeping at it and school is making for the happy! :D

@Government spy- maybe an interim ring?? I may be able to help you out with this depending on what you were looking for as the ring. I HATE to see you not be able to do this and as silly as this sounds I just so happen to have two rings just sitting around- I am horridly allergic to gold (the copper they use in it actually). One is diamond and the other is amethyst.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T14:15:08-08:00

Quick @jp- going to doctor about it this week. Prolly need to slowly ramp down meds and try something new. But been chickenshit about seeing doctor because he seemed upset the meds weren't doing great last time. Time to find my courage.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T15:54:40-08:00

I'm changing up the order because I'm a loose cannon that doesn't play by the rules. (And you've only got two days until retirement).

Huzzah:

The game I am working on finally has something to show! I can't stress how huge this is for me. I've been working on this game since May of last year, and we're finally getting to the point where we actually have stuff to show for it. Attempts to wield ourselves like an actual company are also becoming more successful (getting some business cards and the like).

Boo:

I'm in the middle of a depressive episode right now, which makes appreciating all the above rather difficult. It may not sound like much of a boo, but the depression is making me feel like crap, and knowing that I should be feeling ecstatic is making me feel even crappier. Attempts to do any sort of creative writing never seem to get off the ground, either (probably because of aforementioned brain crap), which just compounds this cycle of shit-feeling. Bleaaaaaargh.

APPLE-SAUCE

@Roo: I hope this all works out soon. Crappy brain stuff is crappy.
@Govspy: Congratulations on your impending debt-free life! Also all that other mushy stuff.
@Oldhat: Given how highly everyone here thinks of you, you really shouldn't have any sort of self-worth issues. (Of course, these issues cannot be dispelled so easily, but at the very least I can try).

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T18:41:18-08:00

APPLESAUCE

@nezlub: Jesus, that's awful. Bad enough that anyone should have to sit in a hospital waiting room once in a single month. Glad to hear the two recoveries are coming along, though. Yikes...

@fishelle: More or less what My Better 'Alf said, with the added opinion that, even if your parents don't necessarily approve of what you do draw, they should at least be happy that the have a child with talent and the will and skill to do something with it (especially if it's something as therapeutic as that piece appears to be). Again, once you're out, all of that will seem so fucking silly, you really will laugh about it. Trust me.

@oldhat: I'm about to crawl through the internet-eyes and say naughty, naughty things to you. So there's that.

@Fauxhammer: It's okay if it was a dick week, because you're neither a pussy nor an asshole, so you've naught to fear. (Yeah, yeah, I know, that was a bit silly, but my point, I hope, comes through nevertheless)

@Beamish: I'm in almost the exact same spot as you, minus the night classes. Right there with you, brother. One day, things will be better for us.

@allana: I wish I could come up there and hire you as my Executive Snarkometer and Assistant Street Guide. I'd probably only be able to pay you in homebrew, but... well. Hang in there, kiddo.

city creed: Amen, father. Amen...

texture: ... well, shit, dude... I am sorry to hear that! Motherfuck...

brittanica: Believe it or not, it's really good to see you around here again.

Roo: Gosh, hon... if it's any consolation, I miss the Skype meetups. Way too much.

govspy: If you can swing it at all, it would be super-fantastic to meet you while The Lady and I are in Chicago. Obviously, I understand if that's not a possibility, but at the least, I promise whatever watering hole we end up at, we'll raise a glass to you and yours. On that note, any picks for good places for a young couple to hit up in town?

JP Carpenter: For what it's worth, you're a good dad. A bad dad wouldn't even think twice about future dental problems. You're doing alright. Also, yes, FUCK COLDS. Fuck all diseases of the lungs and sinuses, for that matter.

Comicbookbunny: I hope the new job works out a bitter better than you expect. And, you know, it might. Sometimes jobs'll surprise you. One of the cooler experiences of my life was working a summer camp populated by gangsta-wannabe suburban ghetto kids.

Morac: Sometimes, all it takes is a bad swing of things, and nothing looks bright and good anymore. I know. Been kinda that way myself, lately.

BOO FUCK FUCK BOO FUCK

Work is... hell, I've been experiencing Groundhog Day for the last three months, or at least it's really starting to feel that way. Nothing ever seems to get FINISHED, and we've just been handed an assignment which has so many flaws and gaping holes of logic, but which we're unable to change or improve upon. There's some hope that my duties will swing over to more of a professional blogger, which would be cool, but honestly I'm not holding out a lot of hope for that, either, if only because, again, nothing seems to ever be accomplished with this job, it's always perpetually at the 85% Complete point. The money is good (the money is very, very good) and by this time next year I will be very glad I took it (I don't plan on staying past then, however), but for right now... right now, I walk out of the office every day with a stone in my stomach.

I'm very ready to go see the doctor. I've been suffering some kind of nasal and throat congestion which has been making it very hard to sleep, and when I wake up, there's so much crap trapped in my esophagus that I sound like the Godfather when I try to speak until I swallow a half-shot of mouthwash (or, as I did this morning, rum) to burn it all off. Yeah. Sick days be damned, I think Wednesday is doctor day.

FUCKEN ALRIGHT HUZZAH, BABY!

My record collection continues to grow. It's a little thing, but it's become sort of a nightly ritual to put an album on right before I talk to oldhat, listen to the A side, then listen to the B side after I've gotten off Skype with her and am getting ready for bed. Also, though I wanted to hold off to avoid infected it with my nasty, nasty head-meats disease, my first solo homebrew (well, sort of - oldhat helped) is ready to be bottled any day now. Here's a link to the label design. I'm going to be, I'm sure, a very proud papa.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T19:37:20-08:00

The BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:

My mood has taken a godawful nose dive, my focus is shot all to hell, and my self esteem has gone so far down the shitter that it's made friends with the mega-crocodiles that I'm pretty sure inhabit the sewers of Brooklyn. I'm prone to fits of crying if I don't watch myself, and stress zits are popping up left and right. And I feel like I'm doing NOTHING right at my job. And focusing for more than three seconds is tremendously difficult.

And the singing is still a struggle. Less of a struggle, perhaps, but the strain of re-learning how to sing is tremendously depressing and sometimes I cry. I didn't do much of it at all last week because my mood was being such an awful fuck that I wasn't sure I could really handle the disappointment. (Terrible excuse, I know)

And I keep grinding my goddamn teeth. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if it weren't for the fact that my mouthguard, to correct teeth grinding, is causing another much more expensive dental problem. More on that once I've gone to a goddamn dentist.

The HUZZAH!

As a response to the horrible cloud of doom and gloom that hangs above my head most days, I've become totally militant about going to the gym. It is my medication. I managed to go 4 times last week, and am going for another 4 this week. I would do 5, but I have plans Thursday and Friday. Speaking of those plans....

The end of this week will mark 4 years with the boy. This is a wonderful, good, fantastic thing that is still wonderful, good, and fantastic.

The tasty, tasty applesauce:

@Morac, hang the fuck in there, dude. I can definitely sympathize. Try to remember that your mood is not something you can control, and that it won't respond logically to happy things. It could even take the happy things that happen and use them as an excuse to not feel good. Regardless, not your fault, but you can do some stuff to try and offset the depression. Try setting really small goals for yourself writing-wise. Get some exercise every day. Hell, make sure you take a shower every day. It sounds like a little thing but basic hygiene is totally something to be proud of. Anything you can do to disturb the cycle. I'm not asking you to break it completely, just offset it a little bit.

(You probably know all this already, but sometimes it's nice to hear it from someone else)

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-06T20:07:27-08:00

The Boo: The depression has been a bit of a bitch lately. Also, I've been really tired lately. Just about everything else that is a bummer is related to those two.

The Huzzah: I am going to go on a date! At a coffeeshop. Considering the rarity of this sort of stuff, very happy times indeed. Also, did some cooking today and made some delish Aloo Gosht Curry (Meat and Potato). Granted, I used pork, so part of me is very weirded out (the recipe is from Pakistan), but it's still super tasty and I've got portioned out leftover, Yay food!

The Applause:
@Nelzbub: Best of luck with the coffeeshop. I'm looking forward to hearing how things go.

@Fishelle: I have to admit my brain broke for a moment when you mentioned that it wasn't the first time that happened with the photographer. I've never even thought about that sort of stuff before. Huh. Also, major hugs about the drama you have to deal with from your parents. That's ... yeah... really not cool.

@Oldhat: Awww the self-image/etc stuff is so... not fun. Been there a lot myself. *hugs*

@Beamish: I don't envy you, keep up the good fight. Also, kick ass on the weight loss!

@allana: Are there going to be photos of the apartment? It sounds exciting and very cool. My bedroom is also a disaster, which I will have to fix at some point, as apparently guys actually notice if they are messy.

@texture: SARS. Damn. But all the other stuff is super cool! Yay!

@razrangel: *hugs* You can do it!

@everyone else: Hugs, y'all are awesome, and I might get around to responding to most of you when my brain meats recover. I think. But I'm still reading and thinking y'all are awesome.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-07T13:22:08-08:00

El Boo: Like seemingly so many of you folks, I too have been stricken with teh depression lately. Last week saw a three-month relationship circle the drain on the same day as I finished a project (see, Huzzah), thus triggering artistic post-partum. We call that the one-two punch here in the States.

Le Huzzah: Handed off the script to a project I've been developing since last summer. Ultrasylvania is being illustrated by eleven different artists, and the initial artwork I've seen knocks me aback. We were all assembled in a room filled with Cintiqs on Friday and... I felt... so fortunate.

Mmm... Applesauce:

@dorkmuffin: Awesome on the gym front. Keep it up!

@trini_naenae: Yay on the date!

@everyone-with-the-depression: Speaking for myself, these things come in waves and are transient. It's reminding myself of such that gets me through. If you're less fortunate, if you live with depression everyday, just remember that there ARE people out there that love you and care for you. Everyone means something to at least one other person. Never forget it.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-07T14:33:51-08:00

Y'know, Mister Carpenter, you should really hire me as an au pair, the fix-it-y type. Not that I know anything about roof repair, but I could learn. I'm certainly good for Children's Bodyguard stuff. (And god knows, given the pictures you've posted, I'd love to be wherever you are.)
Seriously, though, living out of boxes is probably worse than living in a state of general disrepair. I'm lucky that I'm unemployed and have all this free time to root around in my toolbox (and in the yard -- spent three hours doing garden upkeep yesterday. In Canada. In February. Zomg), but even if stuff was still busted and gross I'd have unpacked and tried to make myself at home. I'd tackle the boxes, and your partner's refusal, before anything else.

Renee, yeah, pictures should be in order (except the one thing I haven't done is paint anything, so everything's a really awful colour right now). And you don't have to worry too much about messy spaces intersecting with boys -- they really only notice dirty underwear and crumbs in the sheets. Most times not even that. Just clear a path to the bed and you're set.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-07T14:52:07-08:00

@comicbookbunny

Tell me more... pictures of rings, how much they'd be, etc. I'm thinkin about it...

email me? agentyoung at att.net

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-07T17:12:31-08:00

APPLESAUSE:

@nelzbub - Christ. I hope things go well with the health of those around you. Those are both big bitches of things to deal with. Regarding the Lyme Disease, there are websites that are devoted to finding Lyme Literate Doctors, because it can be terribly tricky to blast the evil out of your system, and there are a lot of cases of people just taking a few weeks of antibiotics and then left to deal with the remaining infection without any medical support.

@Oldhat - Your drunkard wrangling skills are unparalleled.

@Fishelle - I think Allana's anonymous blog idea is a wonderful one!

@JP Carpenter - I think Allana is also right about getting your shit out of boxes. Environment has a HUGE effect on the brain and mood. CLEAR THE CLUTTER! Go go go go!

@dorkmuffin - I understand entirely. Having to retrain my eyes and hands to work, getting angry at the world because I should be SO MUCH BETTER, and that if my goddamn body would just listen to my brain, I'd be fucking fabulous by now, well, yeah, its frustrating as hell. For a long time, every time I sat down to draw, I'd cry. But you've got to start somewhere, y'know? And even though you aren't at the point you SHOULD be, you do know that you are still better at singing than most, right? All the effort and joy you've poured into your art does still show, even if your body is fucking with you.

The BOO:

Everything SEEMED to be going well. I had a boy. I was financially on top of things. I discovered that the fancy hospital I've been trying to get to for nearly a decade (and which doesn't take ANY insurance plans for the expensive surgeries I need) DOES in fact only take Medicare, which I would start being covered under starting February.

And then, in two weeks time:

The boy started avoiding me (after I got drunk and told him about the brain surgery I'd need, I think), and has continued to do so without explanation for weeks.

My apartment got bedbugs and I was the blood host of choice, my ankles got raw from scratching, a great percentage of my clothes were ruined by being roasted in the drier to kill the bugs, my bed and boxspring were thrown out, my lovely 1972 striped brown velour sectional couch was dumped on the street, my back is in constant severe pain from sleeping on an air mattress, and basically all the work I'd put forth in the year I'd lived here to make this a nice place was dashed in a few days of gutting and cleaning.

I was ignored by a roommate who first waited to the last minute and then thought it necessary to take hours-long television breaks and naps when we had hours before the exterminators arrived, and didn't manage to complete basic tasks like removing rug or curtains in time for their arrival. By day TWO of exterminators arriving, and said roommate STILL not bothering to do anything unfinished from the previous day, I got quite angry and yelled a lot, and in doing so, it's been decided that I have to find another place to live. This isn't such a bad thing in itself, as my brain feels really fucked with when I'm lied to or dismissed regularly, and I should probably live with people who are more adult and respectfully clean in lifestyle. However, I have to make sure I have no bedbugs before I can move, and it's the lax attitude of my roommate towards the bedbug eradication process that caused me to be so upset in the first place.

Said roommate also managed to lose my rent check two months ago, and then didn't deposit last month's two-month rent until less than a week before rent was due again this month, which has left me suddenly about $900 more poor than I thought. My own fault for not keeping on top of my transactions, but WOW that seriously sucks. After rent, I've got less than $50 to my name for the entirety of the month. That last $900 was supposed to be my "rent buffer".

Also, it turns out that Medicare, the medical coverage they give to me because I am on Disability, is paid for by taking money out of my monthly Disability payments. So I've got even less to live on than I'd thought, and I've no idea how I'm going to stash away enough money to move, how long that will take, or where I will end up.

Just to get on the WAIT LIST for subsidied housing (which can take 10 or more years to get finally called) is impossible in most places. Many districts have just closed the wait list for years, because there are too many people still waiting. I called a dozen different disctricts in New Jersey, and none of the lists are open. There is low income housing in NYC, but they have minimum income requirements, and I am too poor to qualify. I tried to see if I could get more financial assistance, but the govt only considers the gross amount I'm getting on Disability, not taking into consideration the amount they take back out for my medical.

Yeah, so just about everything that I thought I had going for me in January immediately went to shit.

(sorry. that was a pretty long bitch-list, even for me. thanks for letting me rant for a bit. )

HOORAY:

I might have some places to move, either temporarily, or on a more permanent basis.

I do have some checks coming to me from some freelance work.

The bedbugs have forced me to severely thin out my belongings, which makes moving easier.

I seem to have some friends I hadn't expected, which is a nice suprise.

I am going to see Die Antwoord this weekend as my birthday/christmas present from my best friend.

Without the couch in the apartment, and with my own strike on being the only cleaning person of the apartment, the livingroom has become a chaos shitpile where I can now stick my easel and (hopefully) paint during the day with total impunity, and enjoy the free time that I now have with principle keeping me from wanting to clean up the common spaces, and being too broke to feel guilty for not going out and doing things in Manhattan.

The vibe in the apartment is actually rather friendly and we are all getting along. Perhaps it was a storm cloud that had to break.

Even though this month has been seriously of the suck, I'm not actually doing so bad in the head. I think some of that has to do with feeling that there are people in the world who... like me. Having friends, even superficial ones you don't know well, really goes a long way.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-07T17:26:57-08:00

@goverment spy- shoot me an email at Comicbookbunny@gmail.com will give you the details ect.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-07T17:36:36-08:00

What the hell, I'll play.

THE BOO: Forced unemployment. The government's dragging its goddamned feet with my immigration, so I can't legally work in Canada.

THE HUZZAH: Broke through a pretty severe artist's block a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm a couple of weeks away from completing the best work of my career.

SWEET SWEET APPLESAUCE: Here are some positive vibes for everyone dealing with the depression:

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-07T22:34:58-08:00

BOO: My neighbor is sick. The other night she called my fathers girlfriend, a nurse, and her and my father came over to the apartment complex to get her. She couldn't even get down the stairs and could barely speak. There was stuff in her lungs, a LOT of liquid. I visited her in the hospital today and she seemed significantly better. However, she might have breast cancer. As it turns out, she might have had it for a few years now and instead of doing ANYTHING she turned to BS herbal stuff. Just a few hours ago I was with my dad and his girlfriend in the neighbors apartment. It was a mess. Dozens of filthy dishes, piles of trash and stacks of old magazines and things like that. She has no kids, just a sister. I've known her for 15 years.

HUZZAH: School starts next week. I'm pretty excited, though I'm taking fourteen freaking units. But I'm looking forward to all the classes and I don't think it'll be too much. I've got three confirmed people to doodle stories for me, to be collected in a Scrambled Circuits issue this year. I'm waiting to hear back from a couple others, but I'm already looking for some other options, in case those fall through. I'm finishing up getting the stories ready to give to them to doodle and I'm terribly excited. Two people from Whitechapel, even. I'm determined to make this the absolute best it can possibly be D:< I've got a few hundred to spend in textbooks, another 65 for a parking permit, and some other BS bills to pay, so I wish I was able to pay the artists more than I am. But it's all one big giant motherfucking huzzah B) My little brother started working again this week, too, after about two months of not being able to because of his car door/hand injury. He can't seem to get the disability he is owed ~_~ but, at least, he is able to work again! And he has a new car, after his last one was destroyed in a wreck (A week before his hand injury >< ) and he's only six hundred in debt after all that.

APPLESAUCE:
@Rootfireembers: but we luv you :D
@greasemonkey: OMG EYE BEACH BALL THINGS O___O
@Brian Schirmer: Ultrasylvania sounds freaking cool, hope to one day see it (or just a room with a dozen artists armed with cintiqs...)

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-08T06:49:34-08:00

@ concerned people - Thanks, I don't really have SARS! I just get really fucking bad chest infections three times a year because I am an asthmatic and a heavy smoker. So it's self inflicted... and I do not deserve your sympathy.

MORE YEE-HA: Been reading submissions for the new Weaponizer Magazine all day, and hot damn, there are some talented people on this forum! It's such a privelege to read stuff before anyone else does... I feel like I have the cheat-codes to the fiction-verse.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-08T11:08:48-08:00

MOAR BOO: I am about to go blind of a headache.

MO' HUZZAH: I'm feeling more and more certain--absolutely certain--that 2K12 is my year. My fucking year.

MORE APPLESARS: @texture: I cannot wait to read this magazine. Even were I not in the magazine, I would lay down many quids for the pleasure.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-08T12:21:48-08:00

Delicious Applause:
@Rachæl
I just moused over your name in order to copy and paste your correct spelling and I gotta say: Your user pic is very alluring! Bangs and wonderful composition and color palette! Also, Make sure to get good and heady for the Die Antwort concert and suck all the energy you can from that fucking show. Just try and bleed the audience and the band dry! (it's why they preform, afterall) I know when I get beat on a lot (like it sounds you have), sponging greedily off places of infinite energy is a great pick me up. [sorry if this sounds mad]

@Texture
You Ship to the U.S. ?

@Flecky
Whenever I hear this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPKPNyjExtk
I think of you. It makes me miss living off the canal in Leamington Spa, and all the wooden back alleys I'd run shitlessly through on my way to friend's houses back way when.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-08T13:52:41-08:00

@Allana, Rae - ha ha - child bodyguard/au pair would be great, think you'd be a great role model! We have a bit of a circular logic problem with the clutter - it doesn't get dealt with because there's nowhere for it to go, there's nowhere for it to go because it exists and is taking up all the room. Most if it isn't mine - I dealt with all of my stuff within two weeks of moving, but she seems to deal with it at a rate of one box a month, if it's a good month, and as it's not mine she won't even let me touch the boxes in case I break something in them... We'll get there in the end, I just have periodic Basil Fawlty style rants about it and then just blank it again for a while.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-08T15:17:49-08:00

GETTIN' MAH APPLE-SAUCE ALL OVER YOU:

@Anchorbeard and @The Dorky One: Thanks for the thoughts, guys. They actually helped a fair bit. I've been dealing with depression off and on for a number of years, but even so it always helps to have someone say "Buck up, soldier. You'll get through this". Your words have been in the back of my mind all week.

HARRUMPH:

Still haven't heard back from the Microsoft, who I sent my resume to exactly one week ago. They're opening a game studio here in Victoria, and I would really like to work for them. I'm not entirely sure what a good timeframe would be for sending out a follow-up email. Also, the usual set of hypochondriac worries, but that's nothing unusual.

HURRAH:

Finally on the upswing from the depressions. Video game development is continuing at a reasonable pace, and I still love doing this. We've managed to get the game to a reasonably playable state, which is awesome. Preliminary (and very crude) playtesting is suggesting that the really enjoyable part of what we have made really isn't what we thought it would be originally. I'm having to re-evaluate the work I am doing, but overall the game is going to be better because of it.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-09T05:05:23-08:00

@Fauxhammer - cheers mate. Good news is the unit price will be lower than last time. In the region of £5.

@phill_sea - considering a couple of options for US orders, including parallel uploading to an American POD comics site, or uploading to MagCloud (which would, unfortunately, up the cover price), and just hand-mailing them myself from the UK... either way I want to keep the price plus shipping for US orders under $15... will have more concrete info next month

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-09T09:49:57-08:00

El Malo
I switched software companies at the end of last year and started an ill-fated stab at being a systems analyst at the request of a former coworker turned successful CEO. The client was less than happy with my efforts and replaced me after a little over three months. My boss assured me that I still had a job and I've been working on learning some automated QA systems and doing odds and ends kinda things ever since. It's been a month and my actual job definition is still in limbo. This has provided me with a constant low- to medium-level anxiety, which in turn feeds my depression when it rears it's head. It's wearing me down. (The number of people here suffering from depression is reassuring and a tad frightening.)

El Bueno
My family and I are happy and healthy. I'm exercising regularly, which helps stave off the anxiety and depression a bit.
I do still have a job and am being paid; including benefits.
I've even been drawing again for the first time in ages (on my Toshiba Thrive in Photoshop Touch). Cartoony robots mostly, in case you were curious.
I bought a sweet print from Robin/Oldhat for my girlfriend for Horny Werewolf Day.
I'm going to to PAX Prime this year with some great friends (my first convention of any kind!) and hope to have a Whitechapel crossover event with Morac and anyone else who's going).

Salsa de manzanas
@All of us with the Depressions - It's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in this. Cliched, yes, but helpful all the same.

@dorkmuffin - OMFG! Your fella is wearing a Yob shirt! I love Yob. They're local fellas and just opened for Tool.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-10T18:23:30-08:00

@allana: Bummer about the walls. Regardless, exciting times! Good to know the male half of the population is forgiving about room tidiness as long as they can get to my bed. :)

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-10T18:58:13-08:00

HE IS! We saw them in July when they came through New York. It was awesome!

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-11T06:44:56-08:00

BOOO!

My truck is kinda messed up so I haven't been able to leave the house without someone's help. It's very frustrating because I only have two friends with cars and one of them is my assish dj friend, who rarely has time to help, and the other lives on the other side of town. i hate having to depend on someone else...the lack of sunlight and exercise is telling on my health. I had to give up all acidic and spicy food and drink..ends up the GERDs that comes with my disease has damaged the little muscle that keeps the stomach acid where it needs to be. I've been living with constant heartburn for weeks now, and until i get my disability pushed through, i probably won't be able to get the procedure done to get it fixed. the arthritis has gotten really shitty too. the pain is making me bitter and upset easily...
i've been feeling very lonely lately. i met a girl online through business relations and found out she lives close. She was going to get all artsy with me yesterday but canceled because of the snow we got. i was pretty disappointed. she's quite talented and beautiful, and has great taste in music and videogames heh...
i hope that she'll come over to visit soon. i'd like some pleasant company. last night my dj friend brought over a female friend of ours who was turning eighteen that night. it was an okay time hanging out and talking nerd stuff like we do, but the dj ended up making a few offhanded remarks that set me off and i ended up barely sleeping last night...a couple hours i guess...

The Big Ol' HUZZAAAHHH!
I finally got my show put together and it seems like it''s going to be a pretty good time. I have an amazing list of artists involved. I'm just gonna put these...riiiiiight here:

Craig Boldman:

Billy Boyd

Ray Coffman

Nicolas Floyd

JD Hazro (he hasn't supplied me with an art site yet but he's a very talented tattoo artist and friend of mine)

Maus:

Kenn Minter:

Stevie Moore:

Raymond Casper Mueller (wonderful graffiti artist with a big heart. he's donating almost everything from the show to our charity)

Geoff Murphy:

Joseph Napier (extremely talented fella i've known for around ten years now. he married one of my best friend's mom's )

Ashley E. Sporing

Jared Stacy:

Dick Starr:

Billy Tackett: (I'm proud that I hosted one of Billy Tackett's first shows, and since I've met him he's attended every show i've put together for the last six or seven year. :)

Tim Tyler:

Stephen Vickers:

Sal Villagran:

Scottie Watson:

yeaaaah...I love these guys. a lot of them I've known for years and some are new contacts. I am really pleased by the range of talents I've gathered together. i hope that posting this here will help get them a little attention :).
I can't wait until march...I'll get to watch some really talented folks create (which will be an awesome learning experience for me), people will be having fun because of my efforts, and that makes me happy...plus we'll be coming together to earn some cash for the american cancer society. My dj is warming up to the idea of the show. he still refuses to do a full stage show for most of the event, but he's doing the mc work and the auctioning..also said he'd dj an afterparty if i could get the bar's side room for it (thankgod i don't have to do any mic work..i hate speaking in public)
So I had to speak in public the other night lol...after months of being fairly hermitish, I was whisked off to a magazine staff's meeting to do a little presentation I was not remotely ready for in front of a crowd of graphic design artists. They claim I did a fine job. my dj, who accompanied me and bailed me out when I felt I had floundered, made fun of me for being a socially awkward event organizer. He doesn't get that I put the shows on to promote others, not myself...heh, but I was happy for the chance. they featured my event in their magazine! yayness!
After my show, I have another one the weekend following, which is a big toy and comic con that a friend of my husband's and ex business partner is putting together. I don't like the guy very much but i do want to make money, so we're signed up for two tables. A number of weeks after that it's off to Botcon in texas. Not as vendors officially but we always take a few tubs of toys to sell while we're there, and we always end up selling all of it. It will be a blast. an absolute blast...about a month after that i'm signed up to be an art vendor at a pagany gathering my old friends are throwing. that as well should be fun, if i can find someone to assist me...
THE APPLESAUCE:
@oldhat tea tree oil three times a day with a hypoallergenic moisturizer may help the psoriasis. I have it too pretty bad and that seems to help.
@everyone with depression SUNLIGHT! this miserable winter weather is what is bringing a lot of us down. we're not getting enough vitamin D. it's kind of a silly notion but we should all either get a sun lamp or spend the cash on a tanning bed visit now and then in the winter. there's a number of health (both mental and physical) that are helped by a small dose of uv.
@morac videogame? I am eager to learn more...

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-11T13:49:32-08:00

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-11T14:29:27-08:00

When fixing typos tomorrow, please also edit to follow the magnificent new Three Act Structure, like EVERYONE ELSE ON THE THREAD. Or I shall deliberately not answer your question about Disenchanted, and may also set fire to the Internets.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-11T16:21:01-08:00

1. I really get annoyed when dudes scan me up and down, sizing me up. I feel like a piece of meat. Must be what every woman has to fucking deal with every fucking day. But this week made me realize that people don’t fucking get it. I’m not better than you and you ain’t better than me. We’re all in this together whether you know it or not. It’s the villains that own the world that want us at each others throats while they watch from their castles, sucking down caviar and gaining more power. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Then again, everyone just loovvves shooting each other so knock yourselves out and leave me out of it :P

2. Day ain’t over just yet but I FINALLY made a decent sale in this miserable store after weeks of nothing. SO I guess I can safely say I kicked this weeks ass just like I said I would. Something snapped Monday and I decided to be fucking alive. Got Space Shark back on track and made my smooth mother fucker impression on hot mohawked chick which sent my confidence/swagger through the roof! Hahaha, anyway I learned a lot. +1 manhood! Also +50 BALLS!

3.the Andre's Occupation of Europe Tour 2012 makes me happy.
@Roo - Hope you feel better. I'm glad you're getting paid to ART. I know that is something you've been wanting. I am teh jealouz ;D
@Brittanica - Glad you got some money coming in! It sucks being broke, I've fucking been there. I'm still afraid to spend all that I've saved, unless it's for gasoline. In my mind the wild west/road warrior days are already here so that has helped me learn to save money and hide it for emergencies. I quit trusting the bank!

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-11T20:02:35-08:00

1. I've had some bad runs of silkscreening of late and thus, have been beating myself up something awful for not executing something difficult that I've never tried before absolutely flawless. It's the perfectionist side to me, where I feel like I'm being super unprofessional that I haven't yet MASTERED this thing that I barely know anything about (when you really get down to it). So, lots of bad thoughts and moping and being angry with myself. It hasn't helped that I dialed back my vices and so now when I would most like to indulge them, it's unavailable. Which is to say, I haven't gotten wasted or laid in a proper while and this is all putting me on edge to the point of nearly having a breakdown on a particularly harrowing night this week that involved thinking I lost my client's product that I spent weeks creating while also being assaulted by many drunken vagrants and rich finance dudebros.

2. The good, of course. The good is that I'm embarking on a most exciting project that is on the verge of being something Really Good and could change my trajectory for a bit. And of course, when I get down to everything, I am running all of my shit & doing things proper, despite what some set backs might mean. Clients are happy, money is flowing, enjoying the company I've allowed to remain in my life, etc etc. Also, tomorrow (Sunday) in NYC is my Dr. Sketchy's session with two gorgeous models & Ben Templesmith (who I will try to convince to pose with a squid for the masses). So yes, right, even when things are bad, they always snap back into the right place after a couple days.

3. Andre's Occupation of Europe also makes me so happy. SPAGHETTI.FUCKING.ICE.CREAM! is my new war cry.
The applesauce going to all of you for getting through it all & especially Pooka for having an amazing event. I know you've been working damn hard on that event for ages & I'm glad it's happening.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-11T22:10:07-08:00

Right off the bat, I'd like to thank everyone who gave the lovely and helpful words.

Boo:
- Been feeling more introverted than usual. Some days staying in bed seems a bit more preferable than going out.
- Self-esteem still is as bad as it usually is.
- Been missing Alan a hell of a lot more than usual...just been getting down about it.
- Really worried about a friend of mine. She's kind of on the top of my list of "friends who will most likely kill themselves" and she hasn't been responding to any e-mails. This isn't really a new thing, but still. Worried. And feeling a bit depressed about it because this woman was one of the strongest role models I've had. We were best friends for years and she was the strongest person I knew and...well, I know that fighting your problems head-on can take it's toll, but I never would have thought that she'd be a shadow of the woman she was. Just...shit.

Huzzah:
- You'll be pleased to know that I AM fighting the introversion by making attempts at being social. Most recently I went to a friend's Jazz concert, which ended up being a lot of fun AND led to some paid work (the Jazz Quintet need photos and a group biography. I happen to specialize in both).
- Took some photos recently, which I kind of like.
- Yesterday I have decided that I'm going to get in to the habit of regularly getting flowers for my room. They really brighten things up beautifully. Currently I have some bright red tulips.
- I started up a facebook page for my beer blog, The Thirsty Wench and it's gotten a nice amount of likes in the two days of its existence. Excited about the possibilities of it.
- Today I went out just for the sake of going out. I knew I needed to, so I gave myself the mission of getting groceries, decent booze and the Too Much Coffee Man Omnibus (at a reduced price!). Even though it was about -23 degrees with the windchill (what I've come to call a "Saskatchewan Summer") I had fun walking around.
- Alan got a package I sent him filled with Maple cookies and a letter. Glad he liked both.
- Decided the diet could go fuck itself and bought a few veggie samosas for lunch and had some burgers for dinner. Mmmmm....
- And now, I'm sitting back in my room sipping on a Lava Smoked Imperial Stout and watching Evil Dead 2. I don't need to explain why this is wonderful, do I? IT'S EVIL DEAD 2.

So hey, more huzzah than boo!

Applesauce:
Andre's occupation of Europe also makes me smile.
@glukkake I really get excited when I hear about new projects from you. I stand by in saying that you're one of the hardest working people I know and the final results always show that. You'll be fucking awesome (P.S. The Vagina Dentata panties are my favorites out of my collection.
@Pooka SO fucking glad that the show is happening. I know how hard you've been working for it. Also, thanks for the Tea Tree Oil suggestion. Currently I'm using this cream that my dermatologist gave to me as free samples. It at least seems to be putting the rash at bay (Thankfully, my psoriasis is pretty mild, but this rash pencil moustache...really fucking sucks)

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T01:48:54-08:00

The Shits:

I am working so hard I literally see procedurally generated caves every time I close my eyes.

The Giggles:

I am working so hard I see procedurally generated caves whenever I close my eyes.

APPLAUSE

@Pooka: Me and a few friends are putting together both a video game and a small company (the latter mostly as a preemptive measure against any sort of legal difficulties or paperwork complications for the former). It's a physics based first person puzzle game a la Portal, but set in a cave system underground with a heavy exploration aspect built in. We're calling it Karst (which is a type of rock that is ideal for cave formation, apparently).

We have website, one of those tweety-box things, and even a Bookface page.

The procedurally generated caves I mentioned above are starting to look like this:

@Oldhat: I just threw another like at your facebook page. Good stuff.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T06:00:01-08:00

BOOOOO!

cute girl says "hey, i think your awesome...you wanna get all artsy with me?" I say yes...she says she'll come over...she does not. Pooka is sad faced...
i am desperately waiting for my tax refund. my truck is broke, my drier is broke (so my house is festooned with underwear and socks...on every hang-able surface.)
and i haven't really been out of the house in forevers. also..hip went stupid...must have strained it somehow while i was sleeping (i wouldn't care so much if i had hurt it doing something interesting)...hurts like a motherfucker every time i try to walk.
bitch bitch bitch...lonely lonely lonely...bleh bleh bleh...same old story i always have...i just wish i could find a girl to share my day with, instead of this asshole boy who keeps bringing me down (not my husband, he's great. doing the best he can to keep this poor old cripple girl happy...i'm talking about the one friend i see on a regular basis, yeah DJ boy...guh)...what makes it twice as annoying. he introduced me to a lovely young lady who had a crush on me...but the DJ decided he was going to warn me away from her (saying she was too innocent and did not need to be corrupted by the likes of us), then a few months down the road, after I've adjusted my behavior around her as to not encourage her crush, she turned her attentions on him, and now he's debating on reciprocating...after he told me to leave her alone...asswaffle...pure asswafflery...god dammit. i swear, as soon as i get a working car, i'm going out every night i can afford it to try to meet some people. I can't keep doing this. it's driving me absolutely batshit to spend every day just sitting here in bed with the same people every day (that...sounds dirty...but nooo, i just tend to stay in bed at home because it's the comfiest spot)...

HUZZAAAAH!
I've vowed to spend the day painting...you know I really can paint and one of these days when I get a deviant account or something like that i'll show you heh..
i am sooo god damned glad my show is on...you folks are the only ones who have seen my desperation and misery at trying to get it all worked out. I NEEDED it. badly. If I can't get friends to visit me at home, then I'll just put on a big party and have them come see me there. I'm kind of tickled a lot of folks i haven't seen in years are making the effort to come out. I know it's not a big huge thing...little dinky bar...only about two hundred folk capacity, but two hundred folk spending twenty bucks each will definitely get us to our goal.
My husband and I have been spending a whole lot of quality time together and it's been pretty nice. We've been working on some creative projects together including a sixteen years in the making roleplaying world/system (he's been helping me with it for the last ten years). I've started reading to him again and it's been a lot of fun. My hubs is legally blind so reading novels is really tiring to his poor eyes. He reads comics because it's not so rough on him, but I love sharing my books with him. He kept saying he was going to read stephen king's dark tower series (one of my favorite epic quests). after waiting ten years, I decided to read the whole series to him. This is going to be rough (acid reflux started kicking in after a few chapters), but it's been a lot of fun going back through the stories. I notice that there's a lot of details I didn't notice the first time through and it's pretty cool discussing the gn's telling of roland's past.
Ahh, and another sweet and wonderful thing, my hubs knew i was bummed out over the whole DJ/cute girl situation so he gave me one of my valentine's day presents early: a hardback edition of mark millar and steve mcniven's Nemesis. fun book :D
Oh...I had this box of crackers called "applause" brand crackers...and everyone that's seen it has thought it said Applesauce crackers at first...so I got a good chuckle outta that...

OOoey Gooey Crispy Crunchy Applesauce:
@oldhat i think i know what kinda cream your using. the trouble with psoriasis is that it stops responding to one treatment after a while and you have to switch up eventually, i've got four different treatments that I use, and each of them work for a while then stop. So if that cream stops helping after a while, try the tea tree oil. Oh, I'mma giving you a like on your facebook too. I need more entertainments for my face. :)
@morac gave your company a Like too :). I love videogames and one day hope to help my hubs get some of his concepts off the ground. I'll keep an eye out for more news as your game develops and share it with my geeky friends. :)

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T07:26:30-08:00

I am writing this on my Cleverphone in a warehouse canteen somewhere in the grey, frozen suburbs of north London, while I wait for tonights load for the London run. Please forgive me if this looks a bit odd, i'm struggling with the teeny tiny touchscreen.

The Bad:

Bloody medical niggles are driving me insane and despite much poking and prodding, the quacks are little help. The general unpleasantness is a near constant background presence and takes the edge off everything. Work is actually a welcome distraction, on days off i'm finding it very hard to motivate myself to do anything at all. I hate to admit it but I am actually feeling a bit lonely and beginning to worry that I might be drifting into another little patch of depression. There's a lot of it about.

The Good:

Work and finances are in good order and I have pleasing quantities of spare time to hand, I also have one or two ideas, perhaps even the beginnings of a plan. The world is not perfect but things could be worse, I just need to get up off my fat arse and GET ON WITH IT. Yes. Watch this space Whitechapel, I have plans!

The applause:

(This is difficult as I can't see where I am using this phone)

@ Fishelle: I've already told you how impressed I was with your work, it's a shame to see your blog disappear. Dealing with parents is often tough and i'm in no position to offer anyone advice on that one. I would say though that it helps if you can try to work out why they think the way they do, you don't have to agree with them, just try to understand their motivations. You might find it helps avoid more problems in the future.

And now i've got to go and move a lorry.

More later if I get the chance, but for now, Ta Ta.

Be strong Whitechapel, be strong!

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T14:11:07-08:00

Home again now and proper computer thing, bit tired but just room for more quick applause stuff before i sink into unconsciousness:

Oldhat, your pictures are wonderful and it's great to see some new ones, your self is most esteemed in these parts.

Trini, the date pic is most dashing, you make a fine looking couple - am i allowed to say suave?

Chris G, The Space Shark, he ROCKS!

John Carpenter, living out of boxes? There's a lot of that about too. i've been told that doing a bit at a time eventually whittles it away, i have yet to find out where it all goes though.

Everyone else, i am now too tired to think straight, just try to remember that when the depression tells you there is no hope and all is lost, IT LIES!

Now take care and be safe and happy you lot, i need to go and find a bed to fall into.

Nighty night.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T14:59:35-08:00

Before this closes, I just want to give applesauce to the folks that had kind words for me.
@nelzbub Thank you. I won't.
@oldhat You have been so good about keeping my spirits up in times of woe. I appreciate it every time, more than I can say. Really, you're a perfect stranger in a lot of ways, we've never met, and yet I feel like I could share anything with you. So thanks.
@Beamish I love you too.
@allana Thanks. I think that having my work be anonymous would sort of make it lose something that I really like. But I will continue to post other work on my blog, depending on the piece. And anything goes for gallery shows.
@Anchorbeard Thanks. I can understand why the piece makes them uncomfortable, but I still think my folks are proud of me. And you're right. The rough times will be over soon enough.
@trini_naenae I've always been terrified such a thing might happen. As much as it boggles the mind, I just can't stop laughing about it. I think that madness may be my next screenprint. Also, hugs back.
@Rachæl Tyrell I'd like my name attached to my work, but maybe it would be good to have it in a place my folks don't go. Maybe I'll just keep the more controversial stuff on the Whitechapel artist's thread and such.
@roadscum Thank you. I really do appreciate it. I really do understand where they're coming from. For now, it's just keep some stuff offline. Eventually, when I'm completely on my own and married and stuff, it'll be different.

And since I'm here, short little boo and huzzah.

I have 2 papers due tomorrow and I haven't begun writing either one. Also need to make an Artists' Book by thursday. Gonna be a busy week.

My sister's baking cookies. We're gonna go have dinner with a bunch of folks, one of whom seems to be crushing pretty hard on her. This makes me happy. My sister is beautiful and smart and every good thing, and she deserves more attention.

@everyone I wish I had time to respond to everything that's happening to you all. If you've posted it here, I've read it, and I wish you all the best.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T16:06:02-08:00

OK now i have an hour or so before i go to bed, here's my tale....

BOO!

Am not getting much sleep. Usually only make 4/5 hours a night. find myself filled with strange, morbid irrational thoughts. Such as last week i somehow convinced myself that something really bad was going to happen to Sigga and it had me up all night concerned and depressed. Also find myself getting almost hysterically angry at things i shouldn't be. This means that having a pint/session with friends is becoming a liability. I think i need to get some space from things.

HUZZAH!

As of yesterday, i am an Uncle! Yes my name is now officially Uncle Bob. My brother's fiancé gave birth to a 6lb baby girl, which despite a bit of blood loss went fairly quickly and smoothly. My suggestions n calling her Jamelia Beyoncé Mango Cluness are apparently falling on deaf ears.

And..... it looks like i may also soon become a dad too! Sigga is late and she took a test which appears to have come up positive! she is seeing the Doctor on Tuesday to confirm it, but .... oh fuuuuuuck!

And work wise it seems to be going fine. I'm getting lined up to run the music arm of the papers writing. This means i'll be responsible for the album and live music reviews. This may mean some extra money. Apparently people seem to read what i have to say about stuff,. This cannot end well!

APPLESAUCE!

Of course everyone in W/C deserves a shout out, but special Big ups go to Oldhat, Vertigo Jones, Chris G, Vornaskotti, Taphead, Rachæl Tyrrell, WORSETHANDETROIT, JP Carpenter, et al.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T16:51:31-08:00

ZOMGYES!!! UncleDaddyIcelandbob!!! I hope I hope I hope (because you've been hoping!) *knocks wood*

I can't help but think you'd be awesome parental/guiding figure. *grins*

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T17:55:19-08:00

@roadscum: You can say suave as much as you want. SUAVE SUAVE SUAVE SUAVE.

@icelandbob: I'm eagerly awaiting confirmation on the pregnancy because woooo! Congrats on being an uncle.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T19:04:55-08:00

1. Layoffs at work. I really can't go into things too much, but while no one I work with day-to-day was shown the door, and things look solid for my product group, it is still damn scary. I've survived eleven years of this stuff. It never gets less terrifying. There's a PTSD aspect to it. There's a certain pattern of meetings that I associate with trouble that leads to sleepless nights.

2. My mood improved dramatically by the end of the week, when it looked like purges were over. And in any case, through it all, I'm writing, writing, writing! It's just superhero RPG stuff currently, that I'll get a pittance for. But the few hundred a year I get for writing feels so important. I wish so much I could push myself over the hump and start writing fiction.

3. Kudos:

I'll single out Rachael for maintaining nerve while battling bedbugs and government spy for whacking away at debt and being a rock in a tough situation.

But everyone, hang in there and thrive.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T20:37:52-08:00

The Boo: The car failed its WoF (that's warrant of fitness). Now we have to fork out a lot of money for repairs so it will pass. And we have no car until it's fixed.

The Hurrah: I have been reaping the benefits of positive thinking. Like so many of the other people here I get bouts of depression. So I have been exercising some of the techniques I have been learning. When one of my old, familiar negative thoughts intrude, I stop it and replace it with a positive one. I've been using positive thoughts like a mantra to stave off the depression. And I've been using my meditation techniques more than usual (don't always find the time). And wouldn't you know, I feel so much more relaxed and less prone to stress than usual. Actually, I felt a bit hard pressed to find a boo because I was feeling more positive. The one about the car was the only one I had available.

Kudos: See hurrah. I see a lot of you have been talking about feeling depressed and stressed.Use a positive thought like a mantra and see what happens!

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-12T22:57:13-08:00

Okay, look, Si, you seem like a nice guy, so I'm just going to point out once real quietly that a bunch of us were all "Hey limited-time Open Mics were aaaaaaaaaaalright" and then you were like "Cool, I'm game, let's do that again" and now ... we're not, again. Because what our venting really needed was to be compartmentalized, with headers? I just.... Just because we're trying your new format doesn't mean it's succeeding. You can suggest, but you probably shouldn't demand.
I am maybe not the most open-minded person on the planet these days, yeah. But it's just that we had this conversation already.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (closes Sunday 12th)

2012-02-13T01:06:17-08:00

@Allana. A "conversation" allows both sides to be aired. What you're referring to is a request-for-change, which I listened to. I then proceeded to listen to a series of alternative views - completely contrary to your own, don't-you-just-hate-it-when-that-happens - via this site and via Twitter. Yes, a few people want Open Mic to run for a single day - a lot more people want it left open longer, which is why we're back to a week-long vent. The new 3-act gimmick is included specifically to prevent the major complaint of the previous week-long threads: that it risks turning into a moanfest. Frankly I think it's been rather successful.

I will continue to fiddle with it, because I'm allowed. You can politely suggest what setup you'd prefer, because you're allowed. My polite suggestion to you is that you don't start confusing your own preferences with entitlements, and that if you just can't stand the idea of your fellow boardmates being allowed to express themselves for a whole week, the other thing you're totally allowed to do is Not Let The Door Hit Your Ass.

Enough. Open Mic will now take a break, because I'm pissed off.