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  1.  (10532.1)
    Something very different this week. Yes, it’s shameless. No, that’s not a problem.


    SATURNALIA OF SADISM


    THE RULES:

    -- This is for ART ONLY. Any pen-portraits, or crappy scribbles padded-out with words, will cause a deployment of the newly-trained Urethral Attack Maggots. And a banned account.
    -- No stock-photo manipulation. That’s a particularly pertinent rule this week. No half-arsed bollocks. Anything deemed to be piss-takery will be nuked from orbit.
    -- No more than ONE submission by any one person.

    -- Note that, unlike the usual routine, you have only until Tuesday (13th) to complete your entries.


    INSTRUCTIONS:

    HOLLYWOOD CROSSED

    By now you’ll be aware of the impending C-DAY on March 14th, during which Avatar – publishers of wrongosity and benefactors of This Here Board – will release various tasty tales set in the Crossed universe.

    One of them is by me. A webcomic, completely free-to-air (along the same lines as the long-lamented Freakangels), about a bunch of people trying to build a doomed little community on an Island off the coast of Scotland.

    It’s called Crossed: Wish You Were Here, and you can find out more about it here, with a big waffling Spurterview about the same right here. It will Be Good.

    So far so shillbaggish. But I figured it’d be fun to mark the launch by Crossifying the R/R thread.

    Ideally I’d like to pick one or two entries every day over the next week-and-a-bit, and persuade the Avatar guys to include them on the Crossed-blog as part of the rolling P.R.. No promises, but maybe that’ll make things a bit more immediate than the usual wait-‘til-the-end drill. That said, the best of the bunch will still go up on Bleedingcool as always.

    SO WHAT’S CROSSED ALL ABOUT?

    Simply: a worldwide infection – or virus, or godly curse, or who-fucking-knows-what – which marks its sufferers with a blood-red cross on their faces, dissolves their senses of morality and calm, and restores them to a state of pure, childlike, primal viciousness. They live only for fun, and they pursue it in the cruellest, stabbiest and most downright evil ways possible.

    This isn’t a story about the end of the human race, it’s a story about what happens to the human race when the veneer of civilisation is peeled away.

    AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DRAW, SI?

    I think this’d be a good time to exercise our collective Drawing Real People glands, no?

    I want you to imagine you’re stuck in Beverly Hills during the first 48 hours of the Crossed outbreak. I want you to draw me the Crossed actor, musician, or worthless celebrity skinwaste of your choice. I want to see Charlie Sheen bludgeoning Ashton Kutcher to death with a crackpipe. I want Crossed Oprah using her back-fat to suffocate babies. I want Crossed Arnie and Sly working together to snap anorexic actresses in half over their knees, while Crossed Leonard Nimoy uses his pointy costume-ears to pluck out Shatner’s goggly eyes.

    Just for one week, let’s be shameless. Let’s be excessive and ridiculous and dark. Let’s be gloriously NSFW. Call it a holiday from art, a festival of debauchery, a Saturnalia of sadism.

    Let’s have some Guilty Fun, m’kay?
  2.  (10532.2)
    You really shouldn't use the phrase "guilty fun" with me.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeMar 5th 2012
     (10532.3)
    Oooh... this is going to hurt.
  3.  (10532.4)
    This thread is going to be all dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks. yay!
  4.  (10532.5)
    don't forget the masks of human skin people. and skull fucking as well!
    • CommentAuthorkmcleod
    • CommentTimeMar 8th 2012
     (10532.6)
    crossed
  5.  (10532.7)
    (modified to protect more sensitive souls from Things They Don't Want To See)

    It's a Remake/Remodel!
    It's a Current Events Commentary!
    It's a Frothy Dessert Topping!



    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to drawing actual porn. :)
    • CommentAuthorScottS
    • CommentTimeMar 8th 2012
     (10532.8)
    @Jason A Quest - yeah. That's what I needed to see before I go to bed.

    ...

    ...

    bastard.
  6.  (10532.9)
    Whoa.

    Well that's... yep... that's there.

    Let's maybe try and avoid showing *actual* rapeyiness in subsequent entries, y'all.
    •  
      CommentAuthorkperkins
    • CommentTimeMar 9th 2012
     (10532.10)
    He did warn us Si.
  7.  (10532.11)
    When you ask for shameless, excessive, ridiculous, dark, gloriously NSFW debauchery and sadism.... :)
    • CommentAuthorALE
    • CommentTimeMar 9th 2012
     (10532.12)
    I want to see Charlie Sheen bludgeoning Ashton Kutcher to death with a crackpipe. I want Crossed Oprah using her back-fat to suffocate babies. I want Crossed Arnie and Sly working together to snap anorexic actresses in half over their knees, while Crossed Leonard Nimoy uses his pointy costume-ears to pluck out Shatner’s goggly eyes.


    "But no celebrity buggering, that's just creepy". L M F A O
    •  
      CommentAuthorPhilip
    • CommentTimeMar 9th 2012
     (10532.13)
    In all fairness, you were asking for it.. *deletes own rapey-murdery submission* Sigh.
  8.  (10532.14)
    It's more a fear of getting the site shot-down than the eyepain, fwiw -- we have no "I'm over 18" thingy at the front end, after all, and people are a lot weirder about tackle-sightings than goregush. But, yeah, don't stop what you're doing if you've already started. Just, ah... ixnay on the erect ockcay, as much as possible. And even then, I'm sure it's fine.

    ...for a given value of "fine".
    •  
      CommentAuthorFredG
    • CommentTimeMar 9th 2012
     (10532.15)
    On a lighter note:

    Crossed

    I was working on an illustration of a Kardashian (the hot one not the man one) beating the snot out of Paris Hilton, but figured they're both just one bad PCP coke snort away from doing this in real life, so who would be the last big star you would expect to crack. Herbie. And who wouldn't be pissed after being forced to go from Monte Carlo to NASCAR, take it out on those that started it all.(I like to think that Walt's head is thawing out in the trunk)
  9.  (10532.16)
    AWESOME.
  10.  (10532.17)
    @Jason A Quest - yeah, that's pretty cool, but needs more Santorum
  11.  (10532.18)
    Oh, I don't want to get into politics. Too controversial. ;)
    •  
      CommentAuthoreDave
    • CommentTimeMar 9th 2012
     (10532.19)
    @ fred G I would like herbie smashing mickey on a T shirt please can I have that thank you very much please and thank you.
  12.  (10532.20)
    Took a break from my thang to pump this out this afternoon. I am appalled at my own restraint, no dicks or half eaten fetus to be seen anywhere!
    Happy Birthday, Mister President