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    • CommentAuthoricelandbob
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2012 edited
    Same here Magnulus. I wish i met them too (silently Sobs and stuff.....)
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2012
    Come to New York City, bros.
  1.  (10533.83)
    this thread makes me all squishy :D I really like reading happy things about cool ass people
    @oldhat bring on the cutesie!!! <3

    Bouncing off the walls about my new place i dont' move in for another month but i managed to get a good amount of needed furniture on the cheap! I loves me some deals. I'm restoring a victorian sofa, loveseat and chair. The sofa is definitely going to be done french provincial. I really like to do stuff with my hands no matter what it is. I'm all artsy fartsy and decorating and restoring things are horrays! for me. Also have a paid modeling gig lined up for april it involves pedal cars so i'm all sortsa happy about it. hehe
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2012
    I wish I could make there be a Whitechapel field trip to NYC. I've been missing that town like a motherfucker. And all you awesome people congregating there now... where were you in 08? Well.. At least I met Glukkake... }:P
    • CommentTimeMar 29th 2012
    @Comicbookbunny Yay restoration of old stuff and being taken pictures of on pedal cars! :D
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2012 edited
    Today was again rather weird, but since I like weird, it goes under good.

    I had one of these dreams where I had to take an surprise exam that spanned multiple pages which just kept turning up after I thought I had them all, and I had to complete it with a computer whose keyboard kept changing shape while I had to be constantly on the move, trying to overhear the class where all the answers were given while trying to flush uncooperative enemies out of the airlock and felling trees on a road so the charging tyrannosaur rexes would't catch me, and all the while a passive aggressive guy kept whining at me. And the test was made by Community's Señor Chang.

    The dream was turgid with symbolism.

    At work my room is a nexus of ventilation ducts, which is usually a good thing - there's this zen hum that is a really calming sound. Today they were cleaning the ducts, and I can tell you that a bunch of guys who look like UFC fighter ramming vacuum hoses into sheet metal ventilation shafts doesn't make a soothing noise, so my concentration was pretty close to zero. I decided to take an extended lunch break and headed out, just to see a vent in a ceiling duct open and a dude peer out. Apparently they were crawling around in there. That is more or less when I decided that the work day was over :)

    Afterwards I took a walk around the department and realized that the whole damn floor is full of ventilation ducts that are big enough to crawl in. Unfortunately the only access point I found was right in the middle of the central lobby...

    Currently I'm sitting in a nice coffee, sipping some wine and hammering down bugs on the game, that's getting closer and closer to being publishable. Happy panda is happy.
  2.  (10533.87)
    Afterwards I took a walk around the department and realized that the whole damn floor is full of ventilation ducts that are big enough to crawl in. Unfortunately the only access point I found was right in the middle of the central lobby

    At least you can make a Star Trek style escape if someone ever locks you in a room...
  3.  (10533.88)
    Awwww, you guys! YAY! Meeting people is awesome. (I think I should start planning some kind of extended tour of the Canadian and European WCers.)
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2012
    You can tour me any day, Rachæl. :D

    We have a second bedroom, so you're more than welcome to pop by in Edinburgh.
  4.  (10533.90)
    Found out my credit score doubled recently...

    It's not perfect, but I'm so much closer to having all my old debts paid, at this point I might actually qualify for a car loan. I haven't owned a car since 2001, except for breifly owning a beater last year for about a month.

    Still not ready to buy a car just yet, but I'm planning on it this coming fall.

    Car ownership is just one step on the plan of getting custody of my daughter. Everytime I move forward on this, it all still feels so far away. I'm getting crazy nervous because things are working out, and I don't know how to deal with that. In a crisis, or when things are falling apart, when I don't have two pennies to rub together; I'm your guy. I can do amazing things when the shit hits the fan. Things working out makes me get scared.
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2012
    Things working out is a sign of your amazing doings from when the shit was all over the place and in the fan's rotors. You'll get there, man! As Commander Taggert would say: "Never give up, NEVER surrender!"

    I did a photo shoot with some people off Model Mayhem yesterday, and had a blast. They were very nice and seemed to enjoy the shoot as well. Really looking forward to seeing the shots, which I will, of course, upload and post when I can.
    • CommentAuthorBankara
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2012
    Hello again, Whitechapel. It feels like ages since we've talked, let me start.

    I haven't been here much in the last month and it feels like I have devolved into lurking, staying close but not saying much. I haven't posted here or in the SPIT or photography threads in a bit because I have been taking a little personal time. Life has been weird, I have been hesitant to comment on any of the recent developments for fear of jinxing them. Or else I have been too close to events, too blinded by them and confused to be able to say anything definitive. Elaborating on anything felt a little disingenuous when I myself could not honestly say that I knew what was happening.

    Over the course of the last month I have had to come to terms with some pretty heavy feelings that I had thought over and done with. The love that I had considered lost-at-sea-and-presumed-dead showed up on my doorstep and I had to contend with how I felt about that. No small amount of emotion there, and the list of reasons for welcoming her back into my life is as long as the list of reasons not to. My philosophy of late has been to say YES to everything but here I encountered a stumbling block; do I say yes to something I dearly want but that may prove catastrophically devastating to the peace of mind that I have taken great pains to carve out for myself? Am I being a hypocrite or worse a total chickenshit if I deny my feelings based on fear of getting hurt?

    I decided that acknowledging the enormity of the feelings involved warranted the opportunity and space to explore them in. I am still plagued with doubt and have been very upfront about making my doubts known and understood. I feel good about all that was accomplished during our all too brief period of reconciliation and it continues to feel like I made the right decision. The main problem is that we live on different continents and no productive kind of relationship can weather that condition. We haven't seen each other in 3 years for more than a month at a time. That problem may work itself out soon enough but I had to ask the question of whether I wanted it to. I am coming around now to that possibility, returning to life as spring starts to warm the earth, and realizing that if I let fear dictate how I feel and act that I will never accomplish any of the big, amazing things that I want from my life. So I am relinquishing fear, embracing possibility (including the possibility that I will have my heart fucking shattered again), and moving forward out of the morass of the past and into some fucking sunshine!

    Thanks for listening, Whitechapel. It feels good to get alla that crap offa my chest and I feel like I can be here now without reservation. Speaking of sunshine I am going to go ride my bike around in some of it now. Cheers!
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2012
    if I let fear dictate how I feel and act that I will never accomplish any of the big, amazing things that I want from my life. So I am relinquishing fear, embracing possibility (including the possibility that I will have my heart fucking shattered again), and moving forward out of the morass of the past and into some fucking sunshine!

    I may borrow those wise words to help inspire my girl who is having a crisis of confidence with her career aspirations, if you don't mind of course?

    enjoy the sunshine.
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2012
    @Bankara, just remember that your happiness is top priority. :)

    So, during day 2 of intense pain of the insides I got a call from the company doing the internship asking me when I can start. Pretty interesting, since I got the impression that I didn't get it. Huh.

    Looking at my schedule, but I start next week. And they're fine with me missing in action for a few weeks (Chicago and LA), so hey. Awesome.
    • CommentAuthorBankara
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2012
    Thanks y'all, sunshine was lovely, 10 miles round trip with some rock climbing in the middle. @nelzbub, any wisdom imparted form my lips is purely coincidental and my attorney has instructed me to advise people not to take my advice. Your mileage my vary but feel free to share. I went through the same thing battling with crippling bouts of lack-o-confidence in getting my photography business off the ground. Nothin' worth doin' is easy and grit and perseverance (not to mention a fair amount of stubbornness and idiocy) will get you further than anything else.

    @oldhat, the way this whole thing has shook out has reminded me of the importance of not losing sight of that ever again since that was the root of the problems that started this mess. Also, congrats on the internship and good luck! I started one a few weeks ago and if all goes well it will become a full time staff position. I am pushing hard for that since I have been living hand to mouth as a freelancer for the last several years and some stability would go down nicely at this stage of my life. Also, health insurance would be amazing. Not all of us are lucky enough to live in a country where your hockey and strip club related injuries are covered by the state.
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2012
    @Bankara all honesty it's kind of silly that one has to learn that one's happiness should be their priority in the first place. And generally the learning of that lesson follows one monumentally bad moment.

    And yeah, the hopes are that this internship will lead to something in way of a career. Still not too sure about it, but it's something that could lead to me getting a place of my own (freelance just isn't working anymore). And while we do have health care covered, a good drug plan and dental coverage would be pretty awesome.
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeApr 2nd 2012
    I found out that my college buddy's daughter isn't going to have to go through the slog of Chemo.
  5.  (10533.98)
    Well our fucking troll of a cat has been found safe (ish) and returned back to our home. He was found IN THE NEXT TOWN about 20km away. He's very skinny, very hungry and he smells a little.

    Apart from that, he's safe and sound. the little bastard...
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2012
    My son turned one this Sunday. It's kind of amazing and disturbing that it's already been a year.
    • CommentTimeApr 4th 2012
    @bob: Shoulda called the Trollhunter.