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Main Junction: [Closed] ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes April 2nd)

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  1.  (10536.1)
    Bring us your ontological queries. Bring us your relationship problems and the courage to be laughed at. Bring us your need to know that word, y’know the one, it’s on the tip of your tongue, what the fuck is that word, oh god oh god.
    Bring us your yearning for solutions to mathematical dilemmas, beer-related uncertainties, genitalia-piercing indecision and demands for perspective. Bring us embarrassing questions regarding the removal of blunt objects from nether regions – it’s for a friend, honest – and bring us probing global challenges about How Those Other Guys Live.

    Bring us research enquiries, cultural quandaries, opinion-baiting on relevant world events and Shit You’ve Always Wondered About.

    Ask Whitechapel – anything.

    And Whitechapellers? Be a brick and answer back, eh?

    INSTRUCTIONS:

    When posing a question, be sure and include a representative #hashtag. When answering a question, head your answer with the same tag.

    An example:

    Q. What is the true nature of the threat posed by the #UrethralAttackMaggots?

    A. #UrethralAttackMaggots.
    Horror, horror, only horror, pure horror, unmitigated horror, constant and endless horror, for those who Fail To Follow Instructions.
  2.  (10536.2)
    #5minutes

    Dear Whitechapelens

    Which would you prefer to think about/hear someone talk about/hopefully laugh about...?

    The day I blew up a landrover
    How I take my coffee
    Well known scifi/fantasty books/series misunderstood
    Goth by the M5
    or Musicians...

    ?

    Help me... you're my only hope ... well OK not my only hope but quick and useful (and utter, utter darlings each and every one of you (batseyelashesineffectively, gives up grins and offers gin/scotch/vodka/beer/cyder) mwah!
    •  
      CommentAuthorFinagle
    • CommentTimeMar 7th 2012
     (10536.3)
    #5minutes

    Landrover. No question.
    • CommentAuthorWood
    • CommentTimeMar 7th 2012
     (10536.4)
    #5minutes

    Also Landrover. The other stories might be more fun, but this is the one that _looks_ more fun.
    • CommentAuthorWood
    • CommentTimeMar 7th 2012
     (10536.5)
    #Deadline

    I'm looking for a way to purchase old issues of the UK Deadline Magazine (remember the 90's). I don't live in the UK myself (I'm in France). I've already bought a few from ebay or amazon, do you know any other online retailers who might sell them ?
  6.  (10536.6)
    #5minutes

    If I specified that the misunderstood scifi started off as a treatise on how Dirk Gently sounds more like a porn star than a detective...

    Does that change anyone's mind?

    (landrover is the most written/rehearsed of the lot though - it involves a teenaged girl (me!) and some fertiliser)
    • CommentAuthorOddcult
    • CommentTimeMar 7th 2012 edited
     (10536.7)
    #Deadline

    I think I have some Deadlines somewhere. I'll look them out for you.
  8.  (10536.8)
    #5minutes
    I'd recommend always going for the piece that is the most rehearsed (unless you're sick of it and/or the crowd will have heard it before). Not having to actually read during a 'reading' makes it much easier to be engaging.
  9.  (10536.9)
    #5minutes

    Explosions always win, especially if the person telling the story was involved in some way, so definitely go with that.

    As for the Dirk Gently bit, if I'm not mistaken, the fact that it sounds like a bad porn name was part of why Adams chose it for the character. Could be interesting, but H2G2 related conversations have a bad habit of circling in on themselves and turning into endless debates on the significance of the number 42. A pleasant way to waste an evening, but rarely productive.

    As for how you take your coffee, if you can beat the maker of this stuff, you might have a chance. Otherwise, "So, this one time, I kinda sorta blew up a Land Rover."
  10.  (10536.10)
    #5minutes

    Well that scraps the dirkgently theme nicely...

    But that link is a-maz-ing (devoured, bookmarked, yes the sort of thing I was going with...)

    I really have blown up a landrover... :-) (in the 80's. aged 15... with fertiliser... about 5 miles from a nuclear power station...)
  11.  (10536.11)
    #5minutes

    I'm amazed you even had to ask! Explosion!
    • CommentAuthorjonah
    • CommentTimeMar 7th 2012
     (10536.12)
    #solarflare

    I'm jamming out on my music gear. How much should I worry it'll explode? I just switched to battery power, but some are dying and I'd like to plug stuff in.
  13.  (10536.13)
    #5minutes

    Land Rover! Asplode! Can you share here? Are there pictures?
  14.  (10536.14)
    #5minutes

    I'd assume the royal navy have pictures, but I don't have access to those...

    (plot thickens doesn't it!)
  15.  (10536.15)
    #5minutes

    Put us out of this misery! Tell! Please!
  16.  (10536.16)
    #solarflare

    Don't worry. It's just a solar flare.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFinagle
    • CommentTimeMar 8th 2012
     (10536.17)
    #solarflare

    If anyone suddenly develops superpowers from the flare, I trust we will hear about it here first.
  18.  (10536.18)
    #solarflare

    Where do I stand to obtain these 'superpowers'? Can we chose what or are they just randomly assigned?

    Mind you I already have a couple... maybe I shoudn't be greedy?

    #fiveminutes

    If you are in or near London next Monday (12th) you can come and hear for yourself... Or wait until later next week... (might be Tuesday if I was OK, or later in the week if I've had to drown my sorrows and completely unpick the act and start again...)

    Oh heck... expect to see me on the vile hugs thread in the wee small hours of tuesday morning (here) then...
  19.  (10536.19)
    #shinsplints

    I'm pretty sure I've got shin splints from jumping rope every night for the past ~two months (pretty severe pain after a couple minutes of jumping now, and applying pressure to my shins also hurts like hell). I'm going to take a week or so off of that to let the muscles in my shins unfreak themselves, but I don't want to do without any sort of cardio in that time period. Running is obviously out. Does bicycling further irritate/whatever shin splints?
    •  
      CommentAuthorFinagle
    • CommentTimeMar 9th 2012 edited
     (10536.20)
    #IdentifyCat5Pinouts

    Hi all;

    Can anyone identify the following wire/cable type? It seems that the only wires run are Orange, Red and Blue. It does not seem to be a normal Cat5/Cat6 Ethernet cable, and there seems to be a lot of it on the site I'm at.

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