Whitechapel - OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T04:17:37-07:00

The Rules:

The THREE ACT SPEAKEASY is here for you to vent, to express, and to learn. This is your chance to perform -- but you're also in the audience, guv, and are expected to behave as such. So your skits at the steely Whitechapel microphone will ALL and ALWAYS be divided into three sections:

1: The Boo. The Get-It-Off-Your-Chest. The "I've-Had-A-Shit-Week-And-I-Need-To-Vent". Your chance to scream silently into the face of Internet apathy, and trepan your pressurized consciousness. Deposit your spleen here.

2: The Huzzah. Wherein you tell us something which goes just a teensy way to mitigating the effects of the psychic turd you just laid on our heads. Perhaps it's a tiny hint of hope in an otherwise bleak situation. Perhaps it's an unrelated Thing Which Happened which made you smile rather than frown. Shit, maybe it's just a silly joke. Show us you can cope as well as carp.

3: The Applause. You will choose one of your fellow whitechapellers, from this same thread. Doesn't have to be the person who posted before you - just someone whose story touched you. And you will offer them a word of advice, or comfort, or support, to help them with their own SECTION 1 Whinge. Doesn't have to be much. A sentence, a word, a bloody emoticon - whatever. Just a paltry donation to the art of Thinking Of Others. And try to avoid schmaltz, please, or the Urethral Maggots will feast anew. Circle of life, kids.

Naturally, the first person to respond here is excused from Stage 3.

Begin.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T04:50:20-07:00

Hey look third post here in nearly, what... three years.

I should not be doing so. First, well I am sure about five people or so here even know who I am anymore. Second there are complex reasons I should not post here that go beyond that. But it's 4:30 AM everyone I know is asleep or not yet awake (or on the other side of the world and hard to contact) and I have just hit the point where denial manages to become depression. And it seems I bare enough affection for this place that in a desperate need to say this somewhere else I decided too do so. I am sure I will regret it in the morning, or possibly be yelled at about it.

But, I need a forum where I once used to be very honest and open and well....

See, my mom's funeral was two weeks ago almost exactly now. And sometime today I hit the shift where the idea stopped feeling surreal, which it did the second we left the viewing and has since, and it fell on my like a ton of bricks.

See, I did not even really like my mom. Loved her sure, but like? Well we had a problematic relationship at best and really the best thing that came out of a period in my life I do my best to forget these days ( and yet here I am posting on WC) was me redefining that relationship in a way that allowed for me to slowly rebuild a workable relationship with my mom to the point we could at least talk occasionally. And we did, maybe once a month or so.

And during that time, it turns out she was lying to me and my dad - a lot. They are separated and I am a country length away so it was not easy to check up on her and she had self destructed well past anything I could have imagined based on phone conversations. Eventually to lead to untreated pnemonia, body wide sepsis, massive organ failure and on March 2nd her death. I was there we took her off life support, as was her wish. Longest hour of my life really, and my second time back in GA since I left, the first time only a few weeks before right after she was found collapsed.

During that time I reconnected with my favorite cousin and had two of my best friends on the planet with me most of the time. And managed to connect with some of my familly on my dad's side I never really have before. So it was not an isolated time and since then I have contacted a number of people I have lost touch with. Breaking down barriers I put up a few years ago for various personal reasons. One friend has said she thinks I may have come out of this is a very positive way.

She may be right. But it's the middle of the night and the entire thing has just landed on me again and well, I just need to say how much this all has sucked...somewhere. Without waking anyone or calling anyone who might be just getting up and readying for work on the east coast.

So, yeah third post in years. Last one I said I would not make a habit of this, that was about six months ago I think. Still suspect I won't, but I just needed to ramble somewhere that I once upon a time associated with rambling.

That is about it.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T05:17:40-07:00

Mate - I'm not even going to play Comedy Dictator and pick you up on the Open Mic Format Violation. That doesn't matter.

Be aware that we are Reasonably Decent Humans, and you can vent, scream and cackle as much as you need round these parts.

Feel better, and don't be a stranger.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T06:14:20-07:00

Thanks for that Si.

Sorry anyway for being off format there even if, used to the old style threads (I think all my old posts show on this name and not my real one as I posted under at the time, and yes on search they do. Fuck there were a lot of them. I do sometimes miss all that).

Just needed a place to clear my head really.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T07:02:08-07:00

Any familial loss is going to be really depressing and heavy and hard. Eventually, fortunately, the weight gets bearable.

Best of luck to you while you're readjusting.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T07:46:15-07:00

The Oh Jesus Mary and Good Saint Joseph Terror Shits

I got my first bad review yesterday. It was a four-star review on Amazon, and the general theme was good, and the points the reviewer made are both valid and helpful, but man it stung. A lot of the points were due to typographical errors, which were on me, and one of my characters. I went in on this project with a buddy, and that shrieking australopithicine self-hating part of my brain is saying that I let him down. My logical mind says that the errors are fixable, and I'm proud of the story the reviewer pointed out, and it's just the beginning for me, but I just can't resist getting inside my own head on it. Time to nut up and leather up the skin. Which brings me to

The Marvelous Awe-Inducing Joy Pukes

People bought the book! It's only about 80 people all told, but it is a start, and it is money coming in. Does that make me a professional? Does that mean I can introduce myself to other people that I meet as A Writer? Probably not yet, but it's all a good sign that my feet are pointed in the right direction, and they are indeed moving. That feels wonderful.

The Applause

@TechnocratJT: You heal up however you need to. Your job right now is to get to your new normal, and it will come.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T08:39:08-07:00

@ TechnocratJT - Take care, man. You're remembered very fondly (I may have mentioned you as one of the people who pushed me sign up here in the first place), and it's always good to hear from you even under awful circumstances. And condolences, lots of.

[shall return on format later tonight]

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T09:36:11-07:00

Fucked

Work this week is going to be a bit nuts as the rest of my worksite is running around like a mad man with his penis on fire because the government is doing a three-year inspection starting next Monday. All in all the things at my work are very good, I'm proud to be working here and there's nothing shady going on, but, still, it's the government. And when people start getting firey crotch stress, they tend to send that on down the line.

Other than that the kid is still coughing for what is going on two months straight and I think he's passed it on to me because now I've got a dry cough. I knew that kids get sick fairly frequently due to the immature immune systems but god damn I'm thinking all children should be locked up by the CDC until they're thirteen just to protect the rest of us.

Woots

Other than those two things life is pretty much grand. Wife and I had a conversation about money and plans, two topics that make the old baggage in the emotional closet rattle, but it went well. We're in a decent financial situation and if we can be good about money this year, and she manages to hold on to her job (my wife has been laid off from every job since she's moved up here from San Diego, typically six months to a year into said job) then we can be really good next year. However, that means the rest of 2012 is going to be pretty dull and we had to cancel a trip to see some friends next month.

Applesauce

@TechnocratJT

Plenty of us early-adopters still around. Someone needs to shout the new kids off the lawn (figuratively speaking of course). My sympathies on the passing of your mother, mate, and just remember to take your time getting over it.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T17:56:00-07:00

BOOs and Huzzahs Together!: kind hard to distinguish which go where...
So...things got...weird for my art and music show. My new dj canceled on me. The morning of my show, my old dj (who I had at least gotten back onto semi-friendly terms with) emailed me with a "well, I guess I won't show up to the show. no offense, but you already replaced me, so there's no reason to be there" kinda emails, so in a flurry throughout the day , via emails, he and I worked a deal out, got the programs he needed onto my laptop and he showed up to do his job...which was very little...but he did what I needed him to do well, and didn't cause a single bit of trouble. In fact, he rescued me...which will come up in a moment.
So half my artists canceled, like they do...but that was okay because not only was the bar not open when we needed it, but they hadn't cleared out the side room like I had requested, so I only had half the space. So the night went okay to start. I snuck off with some friends back into an alley for a few minutes breathing time, and when I went back I went to the bar to order some food. While i was sitting there I noticed a horrible smell...looked down, and saw a giant great nasty gob of dog poo all over my boot and the bar stool....so I went to the bathroom and cleaned up, then realized there was poo on my pants...from the bar stool. So I ran outside and found my husband. "CHRIS. THERE'S POO ON ME! TAKE OVER! I GOTTA RUN HOME!!" we both found my Dj "_____!! TAKE ME HOME! I GOT POO ON ME!!!" so me, him and three of my artists/guests jumped in his car (I don't know why we had an adventuring party) and ran back to my house so I could change. I got back and everything was cool for about an hour. The artists were drawing and people were having a good time. We had some good tunes for the background music and everything was chill,then the lights went down and the UK basketball game came up on the stage screen. we got pissed. I yelled, I bitched, I made them shut that shit off and we put our first band on. God damn they were good. I mean...okay. This kid who sings in Sun Street, I met him when he was about thirteen or fourteen. I was friend's with his older brother, who I had met when I first started college. I heard him sing and play guitar here and there over the years and I knew he was in a few bands here and there over the years, but I didn't realize exactly how good this kid has gotten. the bands name is Sun Street, and I'm going to plug them whenever I get a chance. It's a kind of psychedelic rock band. Really groovy stuff...the boy can wail on a motherfuckin guitar....
anyway...so yes...Sun Street blew me away. My other two musical performers were also very kick ass at what they do. We had an awesome kid that goes by Solar Bear who does chiptunes with a game boy. Really fun, perky, exciting music that got all the kids jumping heh...then we had these sweet guys that have a crunkcore/hip hop group called Future K!dz. they were all really awesome and everyone enjoyed the hell out of the music. so we didn't make our goal, not remotely, but everyone had a great time, and I was contacted by one of my artists who wanted to collaborate with me on an artistjam kind of event (at one point we had a giant sheet of paper that had dozens of artists contributing to it. My husband did an optimus prime! :) I met the cute artist girl, but I guess that's not going any where...eh well...i'm sure she'll still be one of my artists and that's cool. local directors Jerry Williams, Claude D. Miles, and Eric Butts came out to say hello and hang out for a while and I ended up selling one of my art pieces to a unicyclist who had just moved to town. Music was great...bar...was not so great...
alright, so not a lot of money was made but a lot of fun was had. I also got both my psychological and physical exams done for my disability case...and now all I have to do is prepare for my friend Jerrod's big ass comic and toy convention he's hosting in Lex next weekend...then a month later I have to deal with going to botcon in Dallas texas and I'm kind of pissed off at Hasbro. I know they have the right, but as a transformers fan I'm upset about their decision to completely ban all third party toys and merchandise. Two years ago Hasbro's official stance was " If you (the fans) stop mentioning third party items, we don't have to address them". Apparently the fans wouldn't shut up about them or some things have changed, but they announced that any vendor caught with third party items on the floor will be kicked out. This is upsetting to me. A lot of the cooler items are third party items (because it's of figures Hasbro wouldn't waste their money making). It's also not like Hasbro loses money at botcon either. They don't sell figures, they sell tickets. Individual vendors are the ones concerned with what's selling on the floor. It's their asses on the line. Hasbro made it's money with ticket sales and vendor fees. sigh...anyway...that's my toy collector/vendor rant.
It makes shopping the floor a hell of a lot duller. It's not like the vendors won't bring the items and just sell them in the lobby or from their hotel rooms...

I apologize I didn't follow the format exactly. I will give my post in two parts since I am out of time. My applesauce will come later.... *don't flog me*

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T19:03:31-07:00

Boo:
I think I lost my programming book, leaving it after the last head-frazzling exam. Still waiting to find out about it. Getting used to the brain meds, but the vengeance of the old is still upon me. "Brain Zap's" (feels like random shocks to your headspace), mind-wandering when it shouldn't be, occasional bouts of dizziness and nausea remain... along with the added WTF of ....me cutting my tongue fairly badly (though not quite hospital badly) on a soda straw. Seriously. I got my ass kicked by a fucking soda straw. *Might* try voice chat tomorrow after class, depending on how it feels, and depending on which of you folks is up.

The Good:
I did good on that last exam, even if I was frazzled and stupified by new meds. :D
Made friends in an online depression support group, too. It's easier to talk there about some things; some things only really make sense if you've been there, and it keeps me from ranting here, which I guess is a good thing.
Also, patched up a afghan of mine; I'm going to felt it a tad, just to make sure it will never get cranky again, in a bit; washing machine is in use.

Applesauce:
Thankyou for not chewing JT out, Si.
JT- missed you posting here, but understood the break; glad to see you back again.
Fauxhammer- Typos get EVERYONE. Usually after you've pushed the publish button, realized 3 months down the line, and you can't figure out how the hell you missed it. Don't let it get you down! Just fit the errors, re-upload (there has to be a way to do that), and march on.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T20:24:41-07:00

The gnarly:
Work has completely managed to take over my life. I literally don't have the spare time to launch a web browser at the office anymore and I end up with piles of stuff I should be doing when I get home at night. That of course means I've been AWOL here and on the social networks that I once frequented. I miss you glorious bastards!

Tonight I spent a couple of hours at the pub "writing." While I like having interesting conversations with random people, I only got one panel written in all that time. Not page, panel! That wouldn't be such a big deal, but I don't remember the last time I put in a good several hours of solid word work.

The gnarly!:
So much... I got promoted last Monday. It appears the extra effort has been noticed and I'm a manager now. While I haven't seen it yet, that presumably means more money.

Had I had time, I would have spent the last couple of weeks bitching about my ex-wife getting a pit bull puppy that she was in no way able to train properly enough to have it around my daughter, but she's apparently come to that conclusion and has gotten rid of it.

I have a first date next weekend with a very promising lady. I don't want to make too much about it, but she seems excited to be dating me and that's always nice.

@oldhat randomly tweeted me last week because she'd realized I hadn't been around and wanted to check in. That gal's a class act (like I have to tell you that).

Applesauce:
@JT - Condolences. I'm pretty sure no one's taking attendance or keeping score.Welcome back, even if it is just to notice how much shorter the water fountains are than you remember them.
@Fauxhammer - That's enough sales that you likely sold one to someone who doesn't know you. That's fucking amazing. Can I start collecting toenail clippings for what I assure you is not some jealously fueled voodoo doll scheme?

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-19T22:35:59-07:00

The Boo: What if I don't have one?

The YaYs!: My wife, her mom, and I have been looking into the history of our house. We've managed to figure out that my wife and I are the 4th family to live in our 120 year old house. The original owners built it (I kind of thought that but was never sure). The wife outlived the husband, when she passed away they had owned it for 48 years. It looks like it was left empty for a year or so, someone bought it in 42 and started renting it to the family we bought it from in 43. In 46 they bought the house from him, and when they passed away one of their daughters bought it. We bought it from her nephew (she had to go into a home) last year.
So, by my math, that means my wife and I have to live here for nearly 50 years just so that we're not the people that lived here for the shortest amount of time...

Applesauce:
Fauxhammer -- No matter what there will be people that don't like something you write and they'll tell you. Don't worry about it. Take it as a compliment that they cared enough about it to tell you that they didn't like it. And hey, at least this one was constructive rather than something as pointless as "This book is boring, don't buy it. It sucks." (I've seen reviews like that on Amazon before.)

PS: I love laying on the floor and staring at my ceiling:

But I need to fix the paint... The last time (and, by the looks of it, the time before) they didn't use painters tape and weren't overly careful with avoiding the bottom of the trim around the top, the baseboards, door frames, etc. That will be a very long job.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T02:14:03-07:00

aw, fuck: Looks like this week I will finally stop working at the building I've been working in for about five years. Been working in the other store closer to home on Sundays. I am already feel like I won't fit in. The area is mainly hispanic and every customer(s) that pops in is pushing a baby stroller or wrangling kids and the men have some macho/complex bullshit chip on their shoulder. Basically you have to like futbol and believe in dios to fit in. It seems like everyone wakes up hating their life and then decide to walk the boulevard all day looking to inflict their negativity on you. And already some shitbag kid in the area was trying to buy beer in the morning at 7Eleven and forgot his i.d. so he asked me to buy it for him. I ignored him and took my coffee. I will never take anyone who calls me "dawg" in human public seriously ever fucking ever. I really hope I don't lose my fucking mind having to work there from now on. But hey there is actually a lot of cute girls out here so that's good I guess. I've been thinking about the eventuality of death lately and how I'm not gonna be able to make my dreams happen and it makes me panic for a minute. I just want to keep my mind sharp and locked on saving up money and concentrating on my art and not getting seriously hurt and just get through this fucking year in one piece.

yay?: Went to WonderCon last Friday. It felt like a warm up for SDCC except I had no friends to hang with and there was nothing to do outside the convention center. Anyway, it was an honor to give money to Dustin Ngyuen and Mike Mignola in person and show my appreciation. Also; Glen Danzig was there selling his original comic art. I stared at his Jack Kirby art and it was an emotional moment for me. I could feel the power from the pages. Then I shook Danzig's hand and told him it was an honor to meet him and look at his collection and left, everyone else was getting fanboy boners around him and asking for a photo op. I also met Fiona Staples and she was super nice but didn't have anything at her table for me to throw money at. Ted McKeever was cool and nice too. I am not familiar with his work but I saw this big print he was selling and remembered Cameron wanted it so I bought it so I could send it to him. Turned out Ted got them made last minute and I was the first to buy one and got 1 out of 50, woot. Turns out he favors the Pigma Graphic #1 marker pen like me =D Anyway, I tried to get outta there 20 minutes before the end of the show and ended up on the top level of the wrong parking structure! I used my camera to zoom in on another structure and two guys came up behind me yelling "Don't jump! It's not worth it!" I turned around and they were storm troopers lolololol.
Anyway, I left feeling charged up about COMICS and pretty sure I have KirbyDanzigMignolaNguyenMcKeever powers for a limited time ^___^
Also my friend I've known online since 9th grade is probably going to be in town maybe Saturday so we're finally going to meet up for a brief while. She is the crazy person who got Space Shark tattooed on her. It should be nice to finally meet now that we're older and kinda wiser about life.

sauce: TechnocratJT - Good to know you're staying strong! Your name's always sounded familiar but I didn't know it's been so long since you posted. Don't be a stranger!
Fauxhammer - Awesome news! F that one reviewer (but also learn from it?), people are buying a thing you made!!
Si - Good job on making me not look at a dolphin the same way ever again.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T15:09:56-07:00

BOOOOOO

Work is insane, 12 hour days and weekend work. The (brilliant) graduate trainee who has been helping me has moved to her next placement, right at the moment where my magazine goes to press, so there's been a horrible continuity breach, and I've had to put it to bed without knowledge of all of the conversations that have been had about things, and that hasn't been pretty. Also financial year end, and the inevitable and humiliating exposure of my inability to run a multimillion pound budget is nigh... ('can you just not look at the report that says we're overspent - look at the one that says we're underspent instead').

Home life has been hugely stressful over the last two weeks. Partner is, I think, pregnant. But after the loss she suffered last year, and subsequent medical consultations, she doesn't believe it's viable, or that she won't lose it again at any minute. This isn't easy to deal with at all - she's terrified, I'm terrified - especially of the pain it will cause if it fails again and we're back to square one. I don't know what the truth is - she's going for a scan this week (so may know a bit more), but a combination of work stress and the worry over that sent me into a total emotional meltdown last Friday - I feel very vulnerable right now and am going to have to work hard to prevent another depression, having only just climbed out of one. A close relative may have MS too, which I'm devastated about. One Damn Thing After Another.

HUZZAH

I'm off next week. I might just get the chance to recover a bit. And garden. And play guitars and take pictures Also, although the older girls are at school, there'll be a day when my littlest isn't at pre-school and I can take her out and have her all to myself for the day. She says she wants to go on a boat trip again, so that might be cool. My middle daughter is really responding to her extra reading lessons, and I'm really pleased with how she's doing.

APPALL/APPLAUSE

JT - sorry about your mother.
@RenThing - thanks for recommending 'Nurtureshock' - have started reading, very interesting and some good insight there - particularly around praise, which I can see having a real impact. Cheers.
@Roo - brainzaps aren't fun, no. Really really no. They don't last though, keep remembering they don't last.
@Pooka - I have a phobia of dogshit like nothing else. That would have had me in therapy for PTSD.
@Warped Savant - If I had that ceiling, I'd lie on the floor and stare at it too.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T17:40:09-07:00

Hi everyone....

Sorry for not being around so much, things have been busy over here. I need a place to get it out. WC has always been a better place than any.

THE BOOS

Today Sigga miscarried and we lost our child to be. It's was a devasting thing to happen really as those who know will remember we've been trying for a kid for a long while now. Sigga had rung me up earlier today saying that she was bleeding a bit and getting cramps. The doctor told her to go home and get rest, and if it got worse to call them and come into the hospital. Then halfway through my shift (about 5,30pm) she rang in tears. the cramps and the bleeding had quickly gotten worse and she wanted me there. I rushed home to find her curled in the bathroom sweating and shivering. She had just miscarried the foetus and there was blood everywhere. I called her sister and took her to the hospital. After an hour or so, They gave her the once over and said that there was a mild infection, but despite everything that had happened there was nothing worse going on. Antibiotics, pain meds and a ride home.

She is now in bed trying to sleep. She's had a few cries tonight (i may have shed a tear in the bathroom). When i cleaned up the bathroom, i actually saw our child in the toilet after she passed it through. I wish i could say i saw something, but all it looked like was a red stringy turd. I flushed it down the toilet.

....

Right now, how do i feel? Numb. Numb punctuated by sparks of really hard anger at everything i can get my hands on. i'm keeping it in check, but i'm feeling this overwhelming urge to destroy something beautiful in life. This is not a ghood time.

The Hurrahs

Not really feeling much of that right now. Once we get past this, i can fill people in on some things...

APPALL/APPLAUSE
@TechnocratJT - Hey man, hang in there. I get what you're going through, I really am. when our mum died over the new year, my brother and I found out that she pretty much had a weird second life (before she met our dad), that both of us never knew about, as well as some pretty sordid things that we really shouldn't have been told about as well. As people here have already said, don't be a stranger. Si has pissed us all off yet!

And everyone else - just be too evil to die and things will be fine, OK?

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T18:02:34-07:00

Bob, I am so sorry to hear that. You two will be in my prayers.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T18:12:55-07:00

JT, Bob... guys, that is awful.

That's all there really is to say about it.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T18:31:29-07:00

Oh jeez, Bob...I'm so sorry for the two of you.

If there's anything I can do, give me a shout, yeah?

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T18:38:58-07:00

Oh, Bob, I'm so sorry for you and Sigga. That's a horrible thing to have happen. I can't possibly imagine.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T19:16:14-07:00

Bob, please give both yourself and Sigga a long, warm hug from me. Transcontinental, electronic long hug; it's the best I can do, and I hope it helps a bit.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T20:00:09-07:00

Bob, I am so, so sorry you and your wife have to go through this. Jesus. You take care of each other as best you can, but if you need any more support and love, we're ALL here for you. Every single goddamn ookie one of us.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T20:37:23-07:00

Echoing the above, with much force. Damn. Much love to you both.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-20T22:16:55-07:00

@Bob
-Sorry you've had to deal with such crud. Condolences, e-hugs, and suchlike.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T01:01:22-07:00

@Bob - Damn, that's heartbreaking news and I'm so very sorry for you both, it's a horrible thing to have to go through. Very best wishes and hugs to you and Sigga.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T01:09:13-07:00

@Bob:

You have my condolences. You are a sound and solid bloke, try not to forget that. I hope the future brings you the good fortune you deserve.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T01:37:45-07:00

@Bob - hold fast man. Don't let it break you. Let it out, cry, smash things if you've got to - just don't let it colour your world. Remember who you are and who you will be.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T02:01:26-07:00

Jesus, Bob, I'm sorry.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T03:47:33-07:00

@Bob: Like everyone else, i'm sorry to read your tragic news and i hope your good lady gets well soon. I'm glad you are there for each other.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T09:28:55-07:00

@Bob

Jesus, man. My wife and I lost our first child too. I know you're going to be there for Sigga but make sure you take some time to grieve for yourself too.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T11:28:56-07:00

@Bob - Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. As another person who's gone through this, I second Ren's advice.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T14:31:14-07:00

@bob that's so sad... I'm so sorry for your loss man...

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2012-03-21T14:44:17-07:00

Bob, thinking of you and Sigga, sending big love your way. Sorry for your loss. Stay strong for her and look after yourself too.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-21T15:09:20-07:00

Goddamn. what a fucking kick in the face. Big mondo spirit hugs from the Weirdo Out West. I'll be thinking of you & sigga. I know you've been trying for a while and we've been cheering you on because there's no doubt you two could make awesome parents. remember we believe in you. PLease take the time for the grief but let it own you. You're too bloody brilliant. *hug*

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2012-03-21T16:07:42-07:00

Bob - echoing everything above. Thinking of you both.

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2012-03-22T02:21:43-07:00

@Bob, my deep condolences to the both of you and thank you for yours.

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2012-03-22T03:49:34-07:00

@ bob, words fail.

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2012-03-22T14:45:06-07:00

Bob- My thoughts are w/ you two. I wish I had more to say; I'll just have to second everything that everyone else has said.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-22T15:53:59-07:00

Hi everyone

thanks so much for your words. They really do mean so much. Sigga is feeling a bit better today. She has been plied with chocolate, Desperate Housewives and The Good Wife and lots of cushions. She's admitted that she has cried a few times today while i was out at work but she's holding together well. We´ll get over this and still produce the heir to my fortune! It's just going to take a little time that's all.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-22T16:23:51-07:00

@Bob

It's a cold comfort but many first pregnancies end this way. In my close group of friends there were three or four miscarriages among the lot of us and every couple affected that way went on to have kids. Take care of yourselves.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-22T21:20:20-07:00

@Bob, it sounds like you're doing everything right. Keep on keepin' on, and make sure to take care of yourselves in the meantime. Thanks for the update!! I was definitely thinking about you all for the past couple of days.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-22T21:56:27-07:00

@Bob I think I got a little something in my reading your update. *sniffle* just a little hayfever, I guess. Go on and make your biological imperative proud, good sir.

Soo... my shit. Reordering for my own editing ends.
THE OH HELL YES, THAT'S WHY CHEWED OFF THE RESTRAINTS THIS MORNING! Something has got me this week that's making me try. Try like a motherfucker. It's kind of amazing because there have been setbacks and unforeseen costs aplenty, but they've barely made me slow down. There was a moment of stupid fever-like depression. Coming on suddenly, giving me the shakes and making sure I can't trust my own mind. But as soon as I could press on I did. Have now hit the gym twice this week and have plans to meet a trainer for another go 'round tomorrow, making it three times. Got in a private coaching that smacked me around some and let me know just how much work I have to do AND that I still want it, oh how I still want it. Hungry. Yes. Driven... aw yeah. Flubbed a bunch of Japanese stuff in class and it just made me turn around and study more. I'm going to get this bitch down. Heading in to production on a new play. Resources have foiled me for getting it done, but I push on. I will make the world bend to my will, that I might get shit done.

THE FUCK YOU TOO, UNIVERSE. Stepping out of my comfort zone is already tough enough, when it also carries a price tag that just seems to be salt in the wounds. The horizon is looking pretty fucking costly and that's JUST to get my career going. WTF. I have to spend so much money so I can have a chance at making money? (And so, the life of a freelancer.) But that's how it is. Moving on from where I am - I have to do it. ARGH. But extra coaching costs money. And my car insurance has gone up by a third. And gas prices keep jumping. And when I wrap up Japanese 204 I'm looking at either private classes somewhere or begging one of the local University of California campuses to let me in - and then pay through the nose for their classes. I don't know how much it is per unit right now, but people have been protesting/occupying UC Berkley for months because of the jacked up rates. (also my only choices are Irvine and UCLA, neither of which are palatable to me)

Fuck. I just don't know how I'll make there be the money. My mom has been helping me out but she budgeted much less than what I'm looking at now - because I told her to. Just... ARgh.

THE CHEERING SECTION Um... Bob you are a beautiful human creature. Your issue should cover the earth until we lesser mortals are extinguished. Err.. Or suchlike. JT... *hugs* That's all I got. Because the world is stupid but my arms are strong.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-23T05:02:54-07:00

Well...

The Crap: Shit, Whitechapel, I need to moan. I've been through some bad times in my life, but recently things have been torture. My mental and physical health have demolished me to the point where i've been almost unable to get out of bed. I've been isolating myself as reality and life in general are either dull and pointless or just a surreal nightmare.

I guess it's a combination of getting old, recovering from a life of using, and momma-nature having a good fooking laugh.It's not the despair I can't handle...it's the hope! I can resign myself to the fact that i'm damaged and accept that i'm bound to feel awful. Strangely enough, doing this gives a bit of comfort. But when i get a bit of get-up-and-go and try to do something, only to end up a quivering wreck in the street, well, that would destroy anyone. I don't care what anyone i know or have contact with says. I've packed in the voluntary work I was doing at the treatment centre as their negative, bitchy, unreal attitude around addiction was sapping me dry.

Seriously, if i listened to my key-worker's suggestions i would never have gotten off the methadone. Supposedly, things where meant to be changing with the services provided: they were meant to be orientated more around recovery and less around keeping people on maintenance but it's all been nothing but a load of lip-service.
Sigh...I'm looking forward to being done with with them and to just leave them to their constipated ways.

The Not Crap: I'm not using, still reducing the Subutex, and i'm feeling a bit stronger BUT i can't afford to get complacent. If i can just accept the hell i'm in and not act out on it then, hopefully, things may get better. Shit, it's the best i can do. Unfortunately, i'm only human.

The Not Crap At All: Good to read your last post, Bob.

Raz: Glad you didn't succumb to the fever of depression. It is a stoopid vorld!

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-23T05:48:41-07:00

Hang in there, Flecky. Hang in there, everyone.

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2012-03-23T06:07:42-07:00

This - THIS - is Whitechapel at its best.

Bob, Flecky, and all you others in need: you ain't alone.

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2012-03-23T06:26:45-07:00

True dat, Boss.

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2012-03-23T21:15:23-07:00

The WHAT THE FUCK GODDAMMIT

In the immediate now, my boyfriend watched a man get pushed in front of a train earlier tonight. It's totally fucked up, but in some way I feel like he's going through some really horrible New York City rite of passage. It's actually pretty horrifying to think about.

My mood is stupid. All the goddamn time. And I don't fucking sleep well.

The AWWWWWWW HELL YEAH

It was nice out? I guess?

OH AND I GODDAMN MET TAPHEAD. HE'S JUST AS ADORABLE IN PERSON.

The Clapclapclapclapclap(on the back? With hugs?)

Of course, Flecky and Bob. @Technocrat, I hope you're doing alright. Echoing previously posted sentiments, but hang int here and take your time. Grieve in your own way.

Seriously. Hugs all around.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-23T21:53:16-07:00

FFFFFFFF-
Still recovering from cold and not feeling good about it. Hot and cold flashes. Bah. ALSO! I have an ear infection with a cause that the doctor is unsure about. But she gave me a prescription for some eardrops. Which I found out from the Pharmacy have been discontinued. And after two calls to the clinic to get them to give my pharmacy an alternate medication ALONG with the pharmacy themselves calling, they haven't done anything. So here I am. Working in the Canadian music industry on CANADIAN MUSIC WEEK and I can't fucking listening to music because I have a stabbing pain in my ear drum.

And brain tumor news. Ha! That whole thing. Fun times in a medical sense.

Also got in to a bit of a FemRage about something. If I feel up to it I'll post more in the blog section but generally I'm...I'm just fucking sick of these "Wha? WOMEN in the _______ Industry?? CRAZY!" articles. Mainly set off by an article involving female brewers. I'm just...I feel that recognition of women in particular industries is important but not surprise that they are in that industry in the first place, you know? And to have those "OMG women doing stuff" articles written by women just bugs me a bit more. I went in to a long rant about it on twitter. I think all the things going on led to me going off the handle with that, but just...fucking sick of it.

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Alan will be in Toronto soon. Am thrilled about that.

The doctor, sympathetic that I have no drug plan (that's right, Americans, us CRAZY COMMIES only get the doctor appointment for free, not the medication prescribed) I got a free bottle of about 50 Ibuprofens to ingest for a week to help the pain in my ear.

I (or I should say The Thirsty Wench) have been invited as a special guest to a beer pairing dinner. Some of the dishes will be: Beet salad with orange goat cheese & Belgian endives with Fruli and Stiegl Radler dressing, Belgian poutine with Delirium Tremens, miso gravy and cheese curds and Beer braised beef short ribs in Affligem Abbey Ale. It's a $100 event and I'm thrilled that I've been invited to attend for free all because one of the people leading this dinner reads my blog.

Looks like I'll be leading a round table teaching...thing on music publishing in a conference in LA next month. Will try not to embrace my Charles Bukowski Barfly mode (which I have vowed to do at least once in honour of the man) for that.

Wow, looks like I'll be seeing a LOT of Whitechapel folk at C2E2 in about three weeks! AND I'll be meeting Erik Burnham! The ONE writer for the Ghostbusters comic that actually seems to fucking GET the characters and this setting. Seriously, check that comic out. The cartoony art takes some getting used to, but the writing is freakin' SOLID. If you're a trade hunter, the first one is out now and I fully suggest getting it. GO.

WOOO I'M HERE FOR YOU!
@Dork, was that the L line? Oddly I think even I heard about that...so sorry that your boyfriend went through that experience. And I hope the person who did the pushing got tackled and arrested.

@Bob, Glad to hear that bit by bit things are getting better. Once again, I know I'm miles and miles away but if there's ANYTHING I can do, let me know.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-24T06:28:21-07:00

THE POOP IN THE PUNCHBOWL
Kind of selfish on this one, but my adjusted job at the university has made me have way less time for creative stuff on my own, as evidenced by you all not seeing me around here as much. Pretty insignificant in the scheme of things, and only temporary, so shut up Sizer, and quit yer bitchin.

THE CHEESE ON THE CRACKER
Seeing so many people really open up on this thread. It's good practice to see other people talk and share how they go through the less awesome parts of life. It's also good to remember to be thankful when so many things go right. This place is still a really vibrant community, and I thank all who keep it alive and pumping.

THE CHERRY ON THE SUNDAE
Next week, get to take the wife to NYC to see Thomas Dolby in concert and wear the backstage passes I designed and sit in the TIME CAPSULE trailer that I visualized. The crowd at this show is going to be an insane mix of cool and weird, and I cannot wait to dive in. Plus; I get to show the wife how to PROPERLY see the city and go to cool places.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-24T08:09:07-07:00

@Oldhat, yep. Guy hasn't been caught yet. Apparently the guy who got pushed was just some college kid or something and a drunk guy decided to start a fight with him.

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2012-03-24T08:48:04-07:00

@dork Yeesh...that's horrible. And when I heard about it it was someone making suicide jokes and being annoyed that a jumper ruined their night. If only they knew, I suppose...

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-24T09:04:27-07:00

@ dorkmuffin: I thought the same as oldhat and hope this person is apprehended. It's horrible, that. I can imagine how your boyfriend is feeling as i've been witness to some atrocities through living in a busy city. In some ways it's more distressing when it's something you couldn't have helped to avert or maybe jumped in to prevent.

Hoping your sleep gets better, too.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-24T09:15:19-07:00

The Dark Depths of the Soul

Can't look at the news without becoming insanely angry and disgusted. Every headline seems dismal, the poor get poorer, the rich get richer. I don't think I've ever been so cynical and bitter about our 'leaders', not even in the dog days of the Thatcher/Major administrations. I'm in quite a foul mood, and a lot of things are annoying the fuck out of me.

The Light at the End Of The Tunnel.

This doesn't fit in either Boo or Huzzah, but my partner would have been due today with the baby she lost in September. She'd been dreading today. We've planted a rose in the spot where she buried it, in the garden, and placed a solar light there. I don't know, it kind of makes me really uncomfortable to dwell on it like this, I'm just a total mess of conflicting emotions about the whole thing, I handled it all so damn badly and it just throws my failings as a person into sharp relief. But it helps her. @Bob - I've shed a few tears for you today, it's just awful that you've had to go through this and I hope you can both stay strong through it.

I have a week off work, am regrouping and recovering, trying to work on the garden and on my music and photography. Just a sorting out week. Have my last CBT session on Tues, go through my recovery and relapse plan... really want to try hard to keep on an even keel for a while and hopefully come off medication fully at some point. And the weather's beautiful, and things are beginning to flower. That's good to see. Am meeting my grandfather for coffee tomorrow, I don't see nearly enough of him, and especially not on his own - his wife (my grandmother died in 1979) is a very formidable lady, and tends to take over when they're together.

The Egging On

@Dorkmuffin - that sucks, hope they catch the bastard. @Oldhat - have a great time with Alan and hope your ailments get better.
@Flecky - keep hanging in there, that you're still standing means something.

I'm off for a hot bath, make myself look good, then might go shopping for Fine Cheese.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-24T09:18:16-07:00

@Oldhat - I get caught up due to train deaths usually once a week. People always make that joke, and it's damn heartless - every fatality was a person, and every one of them means someone who won't come home, will be mourned and missed. Yes, it fucks up your commute/evening, but for christ's sake have some fucking humanity.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-24T09:52:33-07:00

Weirdly, NYC has had an unusual number of train deaths in recent weeks.

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2012-03-25T05:03:10-07:00

@at the everyones- my goodness this seems to be a pretty shit month for a lot of us here :( I want to give Internet hugs to all of you and make you all yummy Pho and good tea
@Flecky you kick the worlds ass, I'm aware it is trying to shit on you while you do it man- but keep kicking it hard with big boots. You have gotten this far it is an hard won accomplishment but it means you better than all that fucked up garbage weighing you down.
@old hat- the fem-rage reminds me of the whole women are the weaker of the species bullshit. I've always said to those who think women are weak, come here let me show you how weak I am with my foot up your ass. I agree with how stupid pointing out the whole women are actually interested in this thing? idiocy. I've worked in several male dominated work places where I was literally the only woman there and enjoyed showing up the new guys who had the mentality of "oh let me help you with that" moving around and just doing my job at them ;)

The woot: I have a house to move into that I"m unhealthy excited about decorating tho I have to wait an entire month to do so. So I'm spending that time cramming my brain with how I exactly want the house. The kitchen is HUGE which I fell in love with when I first walked in. There is still the outline of an old hearth there that they just put the stove right into it- looks so neat.
The job is going well, things seem to be amicable with the was-band (he decided he likes that much more than ex-husband) He is helping me get a refrigerator for the new place (you figured if you rent there would be a fridge apparently having to get your own is not uncommon this is new to me.....) and a washer and dryer. So we shall see how that all works out.

The oh noes: Not sleeping at all, people keep harassing me to find out what happed with the whole thing "OMG you two seemed oh so very perfect and happy oh gods no- you didn't try and fix it well enough ect ect" Other people trying to lend and ear "if you need someone to talk to!" just to find out what happened. Some of my friends are genuine others are just being annoying. Other friends are suggesting and saying things to me that glaringly point out how very little they know me..... I'm a lot better when those who do know me just let me know "i'm not going to ask what happed but if you need anything I'm here- and do you need help moving" because knowing me well this is a situation where I'd very much want to be left alone about and am not in the mood be bugged. On the note of being bugged, it now seems the time where everyone is crawling out of the fucking wood work to ask me out on a fucking date..... seriously that is just tacky! I don't think it's been two weeks since it became fully widely known. I had one "friend" RIGHT after I told him he called me back up and asked me out on a date. Give me a little space you weird fuckers.... *sigh* Slightly random and i think somewhat unrelated. I've been told yet again I'm very intimidating- I'm rather on about this. I completely and honestly don't know why and people's explanations leave me more puzzled. It has been said a lot.... For the most part I consider myself very self aware and this is not an aspect I see about myself no matter from what angle I take it from. I think the reason it bothers me so is I am not really sure what behavior in me is causing people to see me that way. :/

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-25T07:02:21-07:00

I've been told yet again I'm very intimidating- I'm rather on about this. I completely and honestly don't know why and people's explanations leave me more puzzled. It has been said a lot.... For the most part I consider myself very self aware and this is not an aspect I see about myself no matter from what angle I take it from. I think the reason it bothers me so is I am not really sure what behavior in me is causing people to see me that way. :/

My un-educated guess: you are a very distinct and visually impactful person (translation: you're really pretty) and lots of times people assign some level of dominance to that. It's true for both male and female, in my experience. I've often assigned my being hesitant to interact with someone based on the fact that they look really good, and therefor must be supremely confident and have no worries and certainly must have no time to mess with or tolerate me. Which when you say it out loud like that reveals the problem; the problem lies with the viewer, not the person that they think is intimidating.

So, two ways to deal with that; 1. don't worry about it, and 2. don't feed into it.
Having never met you face to face, I can at least infer from your writings here that you are a pretty engaging and gregarious person, very outgoing, the one who starts conversations, isn't afraid to laugh loudly and will swear if required. All great traits; don't lose any of them. But if you are worried about people being intimidated by you, think about stealing some thunder away from that pre-conception, give people a hook to get involved with you when they meet you, practice low levels of self-deprecating humor. I'm the biggest creampuff you'll ever meet, but I also realize that talking to big 6'-3" bald guy in black may not be the easiest if you don't know me, so I always steal the thunder and give someone a topic to talk about to me ("Man, this kilt is a godsend in this heat.", "Wow, could they make this airplane seat smaller?" "Does this bald head make my ass look big?"). I stopped running myself down too much years ago, but a low level of humbling yourself to a person that you just met can be a great way to engage them and figure out how they communicate best, which is the biggest way to put the kibosh on someone feeling intimidated.

Just my 2 nickels, Bunny. Thanks for sharing.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-25T07:22:58-07:00

@Bunny -- Sorry to see that people are trying to be such voyeurs. Hopefully it's just a moment of weakness for them and they get past it. For the people that are saying you did something wrong / didn't try hard enough: They don't know what it's like to be in your shoes. They're wrong, they can't possibly understand. They're not worth losing sleep over. I'd offer to help move, but you're kind of on the other coast... That's weird that rental places don't come with appliances. I've never heard of that. What happens if your next place does? Oh, word of advice: Make damn sure that you have something signed saying that the appliances you have to buy didn't come with the place because otherwise the people / group renting you the place could say that they were there before.
As for the guys asking you out... what can I say? Some guys are really dumb. They don't understand that doing something like that is just plain wrong. They believe the bullshit they see on tv / hear from their buddies and that someone recently single is vulnerable and easy. Now, I can't claim to know you at all, but you are not someone that I would think of as being vulnerable. Keep staying strong, you'll be fine. I have faith in that, and in you.
People are probably intimidated by you because you're self aware and confident. A lot of people aren't use to that and they don't know how to deal with it. Try not to let someone's opinion of you bother you. If it makes them not want to talk to you / makes it so they can't get to know you as well as they could otherwise, that's their loss.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-25T09:14:31-07:00

BOO

Still no gigs, but no matter, I've started recording new material anyway. I'll come back to Europe with a new album if nothing else.

Also, it'd be real nice if Air Berlin got on with refunding that hellishly expensive little surprise I stepped into in Berlin. The automatic reply warned me about their "heavy workload", once I'd actually sent an email to a different address than the one I was given back in Germany. Bah.

HUZZAH

New York is still totally amazing, and I got to meet dorkmuffin, who is totally awesome. And the Pyrrhon/Cleric/Torrential Downpour/Dysrhythmia gig was sooooo gooood. It does you good to get pummeled with spine-meltingly loud music from time to time.

HUGS

Christ, looks like we all need more than a few sympathetic arms around us. I once again find myself at a loss for words, but believe me, you're all in my thoughts. (And that goes for Doug, too, dork.)

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-25T11:14:03-07:00

got nothing but hugs for all that need them. good luck with your woes and worries.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-25T16:29:04-07:00

I'll do this quick before it closes.

I honestly cannot handle any more of this homework business. I have 2 critiques tomorrow morning, and 2 layers of a screenprint and an etching still to finish before then. I think I've spent more nights in the studio in the last 3 weeks (one of which I was in NOLA, so I couldn't then) than I did all of last semester. There's a pillow and blanket in my locker in the art building, and I'll probably be using them again tonight. Then there's the not art class, which is always worse because I have no interest in it.

In good news, I went to visit my old college town a few days ago, and got to see some people I love and missed. My little brother, old roommates, old teachers, everyone was lovely. I went down mostly to see the art show of my ex boyfriend, and was really nervous about it. But he seems to actually be genuine about wanting to be friends now. He gave me a couple of prints, my 2 favorites in the show, and just treated me like the girls I rode down with. I can't even say how happy it makes me to be able to be something other than miserable around that boy. On the downside, I've been asked a few times if we might get back together (um, NO) but being friends is good.

Night before last was mostly in the studio, but I left to see visiting family an a newly opened fancy mall that's a block or two from my apartment. Basically I left the studio just so I could get some food and grab some watercolor paints I'd forgotten that morning, and my parents and older brother happened to be there. My mom asked what I was working on, and with some hesitation I told her it was a print about the maturation lesson I'd had in 5th grade. She sort of freaked out at me, and I just cried and shut myself off in my room the rest of the time they were there. My brother was kind enough to stand up for me, but it didn't do much good. It's just gotten so tiresome to try and defend my art to her. I don't even want to try anymore. It's not even a particularly bad piece. No nudity or sex or violence or blood, just a clean pad and some distressed young girls who just learned something terrifying about themselves.

When I got back to the studio I called my ex because I needed some positive reinforcement. He was as helpful as he's ever been, and I really appreciated it. Since my one best friend is off on a Mormon mission, I haven't had anyone I can just call up out of the blue to talk to when I need someone. I have friends, but no one that I feel particularly comfortable bawling in front of. I'd missed that. There's my sister, but we'd talked about parent issues the night before and she was there for the particular argument. I'm glad he was there when I needed him. I just hope it lasts.

Special internet hugs and applesause to Bob, JP Carpenter, and Dorkmuffin's boy. Bob, I really really hope that it works out next time. You seem like you'd be such a great dad.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-25T17:06:08-07:00

@Fishelle, I hear you, this semester has brought me so much more homework I really wish I wasn't in school, it is dragging my attitude back down where I did not like it. Sure, I know, plug on and it will be over, but it is sucking the life out of me. My BOO matches yours.

HIGH: My cousin got married last. He is, and this was strange to me (growing up with him), the lesser nerd in their relationship. Much of the ceremony was LOTR themed and I loved it, then the dinner music kicked in, which was mostly Amon Tobin and other electro, it was wonderful, for me, not my Dad, whom was being driven up a wall by it.

Applause: Everyone, I love you all, I want the bad to be better and the better to best. Please let my hope juju seep into your pores and lift your souls.

No back to the fucking, devil, math homework. Be with me oh Count Basie.

OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes 25th March)

2012-03-26T09:27:16-07:00

Aaaand... we're... OUT.

New thread in a day or two. Might do a 24 hour bilefest before then, as the whimsy takes me.