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    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012 edited

    I have no ability to focus. Sorry for the epic moan.

    EDIT: Reading back that incredibly solipsistic poor-me rant I just posted, and I'm not deleting it because it felt good to spew, but just to let you know that I've gone away and inhaled a big vaporous bag of STFU and am now working again. Work is all that counts, never stop. AS YOU WERE.
  1.  (10576.2)
    I missed the premiere gala of Iron Sky, the film I was working on for two years and involved with since its inception in 2005, because I was just sick enough that I didn't dare to leave the house. That was a kind of a bummer.
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    @Rachael, not really. It's the only school of its kind in Canada. There are two others in America and the rest are in Germany or Belgiam. And really, as much as I can't really afford to move somewhere within Canada, I SUPER can't afford to be an international student. The cost is several times more and I don't have the benefit of being able to take out a student loan.
      CommentAuthorJay Kay
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    @Flabyo: It's to learn C++. The stuff I'm doing right now is arrays, but I'm a little lost in general with the whole concept.
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    @texture: Like I said, if you need anything, just shout. Weaponizer, in a very real sense, saved my sanity, giving me the encouragement and discipline to start writing again, let alone even entertaining the possibility of making writing my work, and if I can repay that in any way, I will.
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    Shit man, that's nice to hear. I'm diving back into the site again next week. Perhaps it will save my sanity too! KEEP WORKING!
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    Had our cats put to sleep this Monday. What a Shite day. That was the whole reason I didn't want cats, I knew eventually I'd be the one to have to take 'em to the clinic.

    But the missus snuck 'em in and I couldn't very well take 'em back to the rescue whence they came, so two years later I'm paying $150 to have 'em put down. Miserable way to spend my birthday money.

    Then yesterday, the clinic called and asked if they could try and adopt the friendlier of the two (the other had respiratory issues, and was old). So sure, says I. Keep my cat named Hope alive.

    Semester's almost up, not yet registered for summer classes.

    Son is teething.

    Yard needs tending.

    Soul needs feeding.

    Up side:
    Octopus full body tattoo line work to be done tomorrow, price be damned.
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    @Root - You are so far down on my list of heads to explode I'd need an excavator to find you, sorry.
    @Rachael - You need trephination like you need a hole in the head. *rimshot*
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    I just want to stop goddamn coughing.

    Carry on.
  2.  (10576.11)
    I have my benefit tribunal on Tuesday - been to 2 before and had the decision reversed in my favour but I'm still bricking it.
    Looking through the decision sheet/report from my interview (seriously, how do they expect to get accurate readings on an illness in a half hour interview?) I find stuff that's just wrong.
    Most glaring is "Lives alone and prepares his own meals" - well, no. Ever since I've been ill I have lived with my increasingly ageing parents and my Mum is the one who makes sure I get a dinner. Left to myself I'd probably only manage one dinner in 4.
    I'm bloody terrified of it all going tits up and getting turned down. Not because of the reduced money - I can live on that - but just because they say I'm fit to work won't make me so. Finding any kind of job that I can fit my condition around is hard enough, having to do it no matter what I'm scared will put me back where I was during the first year of this: barely able to get out of bed and almost never leaving the house.
  3.  (10576.12)
    Hey all good luck with the bad times, life's tough weird, making things helps.

    In the past three nights I have had three different apocalyptic nightmares in which the world was given fair and direct warning against an immediately impending doom but chose neither to believe nor respond until it was too late.

    I just needed a place to mention this so I can stop obsessing and get back to making things...
      CommentAuthorJay Kay
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012

    Holy crap--I don't remember all the details, but I had a weird, apocalyptic dream last night too.

    Also had a talk with my teacher, have a few ideas on different directions to go on, I just need to talk with my folks about it first.
  4.  (10576.14)
    @ all - I'm sorry to read about all your hard times and @icelandbob, I'm really sorry to read about yours, sir. Time will heal.

    My only FUCK YOU WORLD is that people who can represent you well in the business of the world all tell you "focus on just one thing" like you're a fuckin' ant.

    I AM A HUMAN and I know how to: calm a horse; feed stock; build a house; wire electricity into that house; grow food; build a larder; build a freezer; build a boat - by all of those things, you'd think a fuckin' agent would think "Ah yes, he's smart enough to write and act for an international company (because he's already done so) so I'll represent him."

    You'd think that.
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    Holy shit, major ((HUGS)) to everyone in here, some of you guys especially really need it. I've read everything posted in here so far and just wanted to send some hugs to everyone.

    My life is actually really stable right now, but also not much is happening. I've been really low on having a creative drive for some reason, so I haven't been really creating much of anything. Went through a brief period of seriously questioning my self-worth. Though I've actually been able to hold that feeling off by making origami, it's proven to be quite the meditative process.
    • CommentTimeMar 28th 2012
    Don't let the bastards get you down.