Whitechapel - ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Horrible Warning Si — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 04:02:16 -0700

Bring us your ontological queries. Bring us your relationship problems and the courage to be laughed at. Bring us your need to know that word, y’know the one, it’s on the tip of your tongue, what the fuck is that word, oh god oh god.
Bring us your yearning for solutions to mathematical dilemmas, beer-related uncertainties, genitalia-piercing indecision and demands for perspective. Bring us embarrassing questions regarding the removal of blunt objects from nether regions – it’s for a friend, honest – and bring us probing global challenges about How Those Other Guys Live.

Bring us research enquiries, cultural quandaries, opinion-baiting on relevant world events and Shit You’ve Always Wondered About.

Ask Whitechapel – anything.

And Whitechapellers? Be a brick and answer back, eh?

INSTRUCTIONS:

When posing a question, be sure and include a representative #hashtag. When answering a question, head your answer with the same tag.

An example:

Q. What is the true nature of the threat posed by the #UrethralAttackMaggots?

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Horror, horror, only horror, pure horror, unmitigated horror, constant and endless horror, for those who Fail To Follow Instructions.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Rachæl Tyrell — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 05:28:39 -0700

Well, I'd asked two questions right before the closing of the previous thread, so I'd like to say:

#insectsong

While Taphead did find me some great audio recordings to hold me over, where can I order a collection of katydids, cicadas, and field crickets? I've found crickets online, but they are feeder crickets and do not make a lot of noise. I want to try and create summer sounds in my back yard.

#fonts

@Ariana - Thank you for the advice! I knew of monospaced fonts, but the letters are still of different sizes. Is there a term I can use for mono-sized fonts? Is that a thing?

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

dorkmuffin — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 07:54:04 -0700

#Fonts, @Rachael, I'm not sure what exactly you're asking. Do you want all the caps to be the same height? Every single letter to be the same height for lower case and caps? Regardless of what font you use, you're going to have to adjust the position of the letters to be evenly spaced (for the non-designer-types, this is called kerning).

Off the top of my head the fonts I can think of (not free) are House Gothic & Filosofia Unicase. Those have the same height across all letters, lowercase or not. The term for that is a unicase font. For all caps, Neutraface, Futura, and Gotham are some nice sans serifs with some kick ass capital letters.

Again, it's a litttttle unclear what you're getting after. Do you have a drawing of something approximately like what you're trying to accomplish? That'd probably help.

AND NO. NEVER EVER EVER EVER STRETCH FONTS. Bad. Bad bad bad bad! (I know you didn't want to do this, but it was suggested in the last thread, and like tap mentioned, it makes anyone with a design background start twitching because it NEVER looks good)

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Rachæl Tyrell — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 08:11:04 -0700

#fonts -

I'm not sure how else to explain this. :/

I need it so that the O is perfectly centered in the word FOX, so I need the letters to all be the same size. I guess should use the term width? Preferably a geometric font, because I'd like the O to be a perfect circle. I don't know how else to say it. I did try googling the term "free mono-width", and all that returned was a "monowidth ocelot" font, which technically does what I need, aside from it not being a geometric font.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Ariana — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 08:26:56 -0700

#fonts

I need it so that the O is perfectly centered in the word FOX, so I need the letters to all be the same size.

Do you? Because it sounds like you really just need the F and the X to be the same size. Which, if you want a free geometric typeface, is probably the best you're going to be able to do (without altering the letters yourself). I'm guessing that, as Caroline mentioned, the issues you're having with many free fonts is that the kerning is all screwed up -- the O is sitting closer to the F and the X is all the way over to the side, or the O is nestled so tight into the X that it looks like they're getting, ah, a little intimate. That's the sort of thing designers need to deal with allll the time -- just adjust the letter spacing on either side of the O by hand.

(I haven't slept in... a while, so I got a bit goofy there at the end of putting together this example image...)

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

dorkmuffin — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 08:45:05 -0700

#fonts

You can also play with different fonts here (the ones I mentioned are a good starting place and Fontshop does suggest other ones). I can email you if you have more specific questions. This is the type of question that can be hard to ask if you don't have a pretty thorough typographic background. I'll email you.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Rachæl Tyrell — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 08:57:23 -0700

#fonts

....Yes? Yes! I do just need the F and X to be the same size! YES! I hadn't thought of it that way! Oh huzzah! I had been futzing with the kerning of some of the fonts, but this opens up a much broader scope. Oh, I feel silly now.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Ariana — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 09:02:47 -0700

#fonts

Oh, I feel silly now.

Happens to everyone at some point -- you get an idea for a specific design, and don't realize until about halfway through that if you'd just focused on one part instead of the whole thing, you could have saved yourself hours.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

glukkake — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 15:32:37 -0700

#insectsong
That might be a better question for the Googles than us. Also, I'd just like to kindly remind that if you're introducing a bunch of animals to an area, especially crop eaters, then it's also likely that they can become at worst a pest in the area and at best, a quick meal for local predators. While it's nice to think about insects running wild in the backyard, music recordings or keeping them indoors with you where you can provide for them is a bit of a better investment, no?

I bring this up just because I remember once as a wee child thinking it was fun to raise caterpillars to butterflies, then released them and they utterly destroyed several potted plants we kept. Sigh.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Rachæl Tyrell — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 16:28:24 -0700

#insectsong

@glukkake - I did try googling for as many different phrases I could think of (as I'd hope anyone would before posting a question here), but I could find nothing beyond feeder crickets, which are not the "black field" crickets that are indigenous to this area that make the chirping sounds at night. The idea that letting them free might result in disaster had occurred to me, and I'd intended on asking whatever business I could find that sold such creatures what they'd recommend, and possibly I'd keep them contained in a few terrariums outside. However, field crickets ARE native to this area, so they'd not be pests (anymore than fire flies), and that's why I was trying to find specifically those insects. Why won't the world let me have nature in the city?!?!!!

#fonts

@Ariana - oh thank you again! and Thank you for the kerning picture! (and oh yes, many hours) Still, I must hunt for a font with equal width F & X, as the asymmetry of a broader X will irk me to no end, especially with the angled X creating an optical illusion of closeness engulfing the O. But huzzah! Oh, the possibilities!

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

dorkmuffin — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 22:01:06 -0700

@Rachael, do you know how to convert fonts to outlines in Illustrator? If you reeeeally want it, you can convert the font to an outline and then extend the F.

I wouldn't recommend it, I don't think you need it, but it's definitely doable. I think the kerning so that the X hugs the O nicely could make up for the issue you seem to have of the O being centered. That said, there are some more condensed fonts out there that I bet have an X the same width as an F.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Rachæl Tyrell — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 23:02:06 -0700

@dorkmuffin - Yes. Little as I know my way around illustrator, I do know that. You are right, that could be a fixydoo. Hmmmm. Oh, the possibilities! I'm a bit overwrought with decision now. :D (thanks, people!)

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Argos — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 08:52:26 -0700

#makeup

Just got back from a weekend trip to Boston, so I was offline for a while.

@Glukkake - thing with my skin is, I already DO cleanse it daily, exfoliate occasionally, and drink ALL THE WATER. A regular cleansing routine for my skin means the difference between huge, very infected and very red blemishes, lots of blackheads with some flakiness and shiny oily skin, and a smaller, less irritated and infected blemishes, less blackheads (that are also easier to extract), not quite as much oiliness, and soft & supple moisturized skin. I've even had an aesthetician compliment my skin because it was so well hydrated despite the fact that it was totally broken out. So yeah, unfortunately, a good skin care routine doesn't make my skin go from broken out to clear, just horribly broken out and irritated to kind of broken out and not so irritated. bah :/

@Rachael - that video is awesome! Thanks :D

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

glukkake — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 11:21:33 -0700

#insectsong

http://www.livefoods.co.uk/index.php/reptile-food-livefood-bulk-c-120_94 this is UK based but it was the first thing I pulled up.

edit to add: if you order from them, I might wanna toss you some extra cash to pick up some squishy worms for Harvey. I love feeding him new things.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Rachæl Tyrell — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 10:24:38 -0700

#insectsong

@glukkake - HOORAY! You are the Finding Things Master! Oh, this is PERFECT! *dance dance dance*

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

flecky — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 15:49:18 -0700

#insectsong

Today's news:

Environmental authorities are at a loss as to how to combat a new strain of "super crickets" that are currently devouring Central Park. The source of these meter-long creatures is, as yet, not confirmed. Rumour has it, though, that a mad UK scientist may have been responsible for the outbreak, but he refuses to leave his laboratory to pass comment. If you see any of these abominations of nature feasting do not, we repeat: DO NOT approach, or their master may squish you as she dances.

In other news, Harvey has been seen munching on the innards of bulbous worms of an exotic origin. Inside sources say he loves 'em and wants more.

I know, I'm sorry etc. Think yourselves lucky you don't live in my head.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Warped Savant — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 19:09:16 -0700

#CatScratchFever

The new cat (new to us, she's 6 years old) isn't so frightened anymore, but has now started to lightly scratch the doors / door frames... My house has 120+ year old hand carved doors. I do not want this scratching to happen. What can I do to stop it? What's wrong with de-clawing a cat? (She's purely an indoor cat and I'm really ignorant about cats. It's my first one.) Are there things that I shouldn't do that I might otherwise do due to my ignorance?

EDIT: I checked, declawing is awful.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Greasemonkey — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 19:55:24 -0700

#CatScratchFever

Getting a big scratching post and spraying it with catnip or honeysuckle extract, then gently showing the cat how to scratch the post, can sometimes work. There are little glue-on caps that you can put on the cat's claws as an alternative to declawing, if the door-scratching continues.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Warped Savant — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 20:28:32 -0700

#CatScratchFever -- Thanks, GreaseMonkey. We have a scratching post just inside one of the rooms and she usually uses it... maybe she wants a taller one though.
If it doesn't stop PDQ I'll try the claw caps.

FYI: This is one of the doors and the fireplace... Thankfully she hasn't shown any interest in the fireplace yet. (Both hand carved by the master carpenter that built the house back in 1892. It's one of the oldest houses in the area.)

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Rootfireember — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 20:51:56 -0700

#catscratchfever

Declawing is generally looked down upon as it mutilates the cat's paws. Kind of like removing our fingertips. It's a painful procedure, and removes a way for the cat to protect herself should she accidentally get outside.
Going for the claw-covers is something I'd try, along with a variety of scratching posts, or simply more of them. Some cats like some types better than others. Best of luck.

Also: Omfg LOVELY woodwork.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Greasemonkey — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 20:53:34 -0700

The door and fireplace are fucking amazing. Nice place you've got there.

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Paul Sizer — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 21:16:05 -0700

#FONTS

Excellent type advice from Dorkmuffin and Ariana.
I was looking at fonts tonight for similar reasons and did a (VERY!) fast exercise to see how your name would look in my front-runner circular font for the evening, Akzidenz Grotesk.
The "geometric" version is just that; not a font, just the letter shapes made with all same width lines (I fixed a few in my "F"), perfectly circular "O" and a perfectly symmetrical "X".

These are very bold examples, which does alter how a font will visually kern and space amongst its letterforms.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

dorkmuffin — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 21:18:44 -0700

YES. AKZIDENZ GROTESK!!!

For those that do not know, it is a lovely font that was what Helvetica was modeled on.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Paul Sizer — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 21:32:52 -0700

When I put them all together, the geometric one sets off so many of my "type spider senses" for why it's best to work with really well designed fonts.
I love Akzidenz Grotesk in all of its weights; plus, it's a fun name to say.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Purple Wyrm — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 21:51:25 -0700

#catscratchfever

Keeping in mind that I've never owned a cat, or any lovely woodwork, how about putting up some kind of removable covering? Some nice-looking, thick fabric pads attached with adhesive velcro strips for instance. The upper sections could be left uncovered so you can appreciate them, and you can easily remove the padding when you want to show off the carving.

(Potential problems - cat being smart enough to rip coverings down, cat deciding coverings are even more fun to scratch, fastening mechanism damaging woodwork.)

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Fishelle — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 22:04:05 -0700

#catscratchfever

I also have never had a cat, but have heard that putting sandpaper or tinfoil or some other unpleasant thing to scratch up will make the cat associate scratching that area with unpleasantness. Perhaps you could try some of that.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Warped Savant — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 07:02:42 -0700

Rootfireember -- I went and picked up another scratching thing last night along with a few toys. And thanks, I love the woodwork through out the house.

GreaseMonkey -- You should see the ceiling...

Purple Wyrm & Fishelle -- I looked at some different things to cover the frames with but I'd be too worried about the adhesive ruining it more than the cat would. I might try a few things with green painters tape and see if that is strong enough. Sandpaper seems like a good idea because I wouldn't imagine that the tape would have to be very strong as I can't see a cat scratching at that for long before giving up. I've also heard things with a citrus smell deters them so I may try that too...

She hasn't used the scratching thing yet, and doesn't seem to remember how to play with toys. I think, sadly, she was mostly ignore by the first owner and completely ignored by the second and therefore doesn't really know how to be a cat right now. Original owner told us that she's not very social, doesn't come up to people, doesn't sit on laps, etc. Second owner said that she avoids people and doesn't like being pet / scratched... My wife and I have had her since Friday night, she loves getting attention, usually comes into the living room a few times every evening to get attention and is starting to hop up onto our laps and stay there for a bit. (The first day she mostly hid under the dining room table but would come out if we started to pet her, so long as we stayed in that room, second day she was going between the kitchen and dining room a lot, now she still prefers those two but has come into the living room to get attention. She still won't go upstairs though.)

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Argos — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 08:01:32 -0700

#catscratchfever

In my experience, you have to (gently but firmly) scold them (say NO loudly while carrying them away or something, nothing traumatizing) if they trying using the fancy stuff while giving them an alternative they can use. They don't always like scratching posts, but some do. My cat back home with my parents likes using the carpet, I noticed you have wood floors but maybe you can get some rugs or small sections of carpet and see if she'll use them? Edgar's cat specifically only uses the coffee table we have in the living room and ignores everything else, so maybe a cheap piece of wooden furniture you don't like, and she'll get attached to that one. I personally find that most cats love scratching furniture like couches (which is why my mom had to train our cat to use the carpet and not the nice couches), so if you're not as attached to those maybe you can let her stake a claim on the couches - cats really will do fine as long as they have A THING to scratch, they don't always go scratching everything. You'll even notice they'll always scratch the same spot on the sofa (our cat that uses the coffee table only ever scratches the legs that are closer to the TV, never the ones closer to the couch).

They do also sell these sprays you can spray on furniture that is supposed to deter cats, and my sisters says it kind of worked for her cat, so that might be worth a try as well.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

rough night — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 13:08:42 -0700

#catscratchfever

A lot of what pets respond to is your smell, which means, unfortunately, they're more likely to scratch at your favorite things. It might help to put an old shirt on top of or at the base of the new scratching post - that has helped people I know both in carrier-training pets (lining the cage with an old t-shirt) and getting a cat to change her favorite sitting spot (by a window where she could look out instead of on top of the couch, where his allergic friends sat).

And that really is some stellar woodwork!

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Rachæl Tyrell — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 17:58:31 -0700

@ Sizer - omigosh, that's fabulous! Thank you thank you! :D

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trini_naenae — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 18:30:28 -0700

#catscratchfever

What we (ok, my mom) do is have a cat scratching post (covered with carpet), that we encourage Watson to scratch, next to the chair he likes to scratch (so we catch him scratching the post, we tell him NO, move him to the post, get him going on that, and then tell him he's a good kitty). And yes, sometimes there's a weird location thing going on. You can get special nail clippers for cats, which clip off the very tip of the nail. You have to be careful not to clip too much off because there are blood vessels/nerves or some such in the nail. Usually when he is scratching at a door, it is to get our attention - the door is closed and he wants to get in/out and be fed at 5am or some ridiculous time. Since my parents got tired of being woken up at wrong hours of the morning, he's stuck in the basement, and there are pieces of plywood propped up against the door, so that if he scratches on anything, it's the plywood instead of the door. And my, that woodwork is something special.

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glukkake — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 21:41:34 -0700

@flecky I loooooove you <3

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Rootfireember — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 23:23:39 -0700

#catscratch fever
-I've taken care of cats like that before. Undersocialized and under mentally-exercised. That being said, cats are creatures of instinct and most are hunters. Look for toys that can mimic the actions of prey. Like.. basicly the things that are anything on a string, with a wand at the end for you to move it with. When in doubt, an actual piece of yarn may work, though you'll have to be sure the kitty doesn't EAT it.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Kosmopolit — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 02:29:36 -0700

#catscratch fever

A really, really stupid question: are you sure the cat isn't trying to open the door?

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curb — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 04:42:09 -0700

#catscratch fever

Reading everyone's answers with much interest here - we became cat owners a few weeks ago, and our little miss is very fond of scratching our sofa too! As Renee suggests, if you are careful you can trim the very tips of the cat's claws, but in my limited experience this is effective for a few days at most - we clipped Poppy's claws last week, and now she's very much up to full sharpness again! From what I've observed so far, gentle behaviour modification is the way to go. Poppy had also been fairly neglected when we got her, so for us the most important thing has been getting her to a point where she's happy for us to groom her. Fortunately, that's just meant lots of stroking, talking, and play, and now she's at the stage she'll happily bed down on our laps. Which is just lovely.

So: It's been a little while since we had a pet owner's thread round here - would anybody be interested in doing one again? Or would it just be me posting pics and making squee noises like the big soppy bastard I am?

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Warped Savant — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 07:10:44 -0700

#catscratchfever

Argos -- The floor is all carpeted (with the red carpet you can see in the picture of the door). What you're seeing in the picture of the fireplace is the concrete slab in front of it.
Thanks for the idea about an old shirt. She doesn't seem attached to our scents yet, but I'll definitely give that a shot to see if it helps at all. I looked at some sprays at the local pet store, but everything they had was for fabric. The varnish on the woodwork is really thick and liquid seems to just bead off of it. The second time I caught her I think I was a little too hard on her... she was just being a cat. That being said, I don't think she's done it since. It's hard to tell though; I'm grew up with a dog that would know when she did something wrong and would act accordingly... this cat seems to think she's done something wrong though so her running and hiding isn't a sign of anything other than her being her.

Trini -- We moved the scratching post just inside the room of the frame she was scratching as soon as my wife thought she heard her doing it and now, whenever she's scratching her post, we pet her to try to encourage her / teach her that it's good to scratch that. We have a pair of clippers but the cat has oddly short claws that don't come out far enough to clip them. And believe you me, we have tried.

RootFireEmber -- She is terrified of the fur on the stick. She's started playing with her toy mouse though, so that's a good thing. We're hoping that she warms up to the other toys and starts being a cat.

Kosmopolit -- No, I thought of that, but the door is open, she can go behind it, and I'm pretty sure she's only scratching at the frame.

Curb -- Trimming the claws is a fairly constant thing (I've never had a cat, but my wife has grown up with many, many cats in her family.) Our cat is warming up to us and coming into the living room quite often now. She's more comfortable with me than with my wife (she loves it when I brush her, usually runs away when my wife tries.) She doesn't like laps yet, but it looks like she's getting closer.

Pet Owner Thread sounds like a might fine idea.

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Argos — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 07:58:04 -0700

Oh, derp, so you do have red carpeting there.

And I'd be down for a pet owner's thread.

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JP Carpenter — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 07:29:06 -0700

#laptopsoundcard

Ok. So, heeding the warning signs that my aging Tosh was giving up the ghost (well, certainly the power socket had gone for a burton as had most of the screws so the thing was a bit old and rattly to say the least), I bought a new tablet, a Lenovo ThinkPad x201. It's lovely, but as it has an Expresscard slot instead of the older Cardbus, I can't use my beloved Echo Indigo anymore.

One option is to buy a new Echo, the express card version, while they're still making them, I just wondered if any of the musicians on here had any recommendations for any highly portable (as in so portable you could work in a narrow train seat with them), high-quality audio interfaces.

What I'm broadly looking for, is something with 24/96 ASIO drivers, and just a single input and output. They would have to play nicely with both reason and sonar.

From looking at the audio stores, the Echo still looks like being my best bet, but intrigued to know something else out there!

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city creed — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 08:26:51 -0700

Just stopping in to salute and celebrate JP's use of the expression "gone for a burton", which I don't hear nearly enough these days.

oh wait, also, #catscratchfever - the lovable little night-murderers abhor the smell of all things citrus - put some lemon juice in a mister and spray it on the areas of special clawing interest.

Another thing, animals that make visible scratches like that are often marking their territory with a sign that says "I AM VERY BIG AND SCARY" - if your scratching post is too short, or doesn't scar up nicely then it's not going to satisfy their primal need to terrify everyone and everything in range.

ETA: I just went and doublechecked this advice and apparently it's citrus oils that cats don't like, rather than citrus juice. The oils are mainly found in the peel rather than the flesh, so a mister full of lemon juice probably won't actually work.

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Rachæl Tyrell — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 23:14:05 -0700

Another question. Possibly self indulgent.

#changingofname

I have been considering this for a long while; legally and artistically changing my middle name, and then going by a more androgynous moniker. I am not religious, and the middle name of Nœl links me to something I am not a willing part of. What if I went by:

"R. [my name here] Fox"

and started my creative endeavors again from scratch? Have nobody know that I am me? (well, except you guys, I suppose.) Not that I have such a wide audience, but I have carved out some degree of fan base. Is it a bit late in the game to be doing this? Only harming myself?

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Jason A. Quest — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 03:28:14 -0700

#changingofname

No need to go thru the hassles of making the change legal... just start using the name you want to use. I don't know about the rest of the world, but in the US a simple DBA (Doing Business As) registration is all you need to accept payments issued to that name, and the rest is just a matter of using it. Meanwhile your driver's license and tax forms and electric bill all still have your legal name... But who cares? Of course if the answer is "I do", then go ahead and find an attorney who can tell you how to do that. But for purposes of public identity, all you need is to do it.

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Rachæl Tyrell — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 04:20:59 -0700

#changingofname -

I've already researched it, and the legal matter is actually quite easy in the state of NY. That's something easily google-able. It's not a matter of legality and process that I'm asking. It's the idea of actually going by a different name and changing my artistic identity midstream. (Do please read my question before answering. "How" was never an issue.) The idea of having a more asexual name is appealing, but I am unsure if to do so would be frivolous and harming to my career aspirations.

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Kay Orchison — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 04:44:29 -0700

#changingofname

I changed my name. Never did me any harm as an artist. I was quite young though I suppose, hadn't been going long. I say just do it anyway, unless you've still got some some truly epic publicity out there with your birth name on it. Promoting yourself is hard enough. Promoting yourself under a name that has bad associations for you, harder still. Why saddle yourself with it?

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Jason A. Quest — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 05:51:20 -0700

I was simply suggesting that you consider skipping the legal change (it worked for me), and volunteering a little how-to info in case you didn't know. Like I said, if you've already decided that option is unacceptable, feel free to ignore the suggestion.

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oldhat — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 10:41:48 -0700

#changingofname

"The idea of having a more asexual name is appealing, but I am unsure if to do so would be frivolous and harming to my career aspirations."

Unless you change your name to a statement or something with a lot of verbs, I guarantee that you'll be thinking more about your name change than other people will. I don't really see how it could be damaging. As far as career goes, you could make it so that when someone googles your old name, your site with the new name comes up.

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rough night — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 12:12:22 -0700

#changingofname

As someone who is also changing her name for artistic and professional reasons, I'm obviously biased, but I say go for it. It has only ever been good for my career - though I had an incredibly common name before changing it, while yours is lovely and eye-catching whether you change it or not. I don't think you need to take this as restarting your creative endeavors from scratch, either. Make the announcement in such a way that your fans and friends all know that you're doing it, discuss it with any who have (reasonable) questions, and I see no reason why it wouldn't a smooth transition. When I started introducing people to my new name, they took to it quickly, with a few philosophical discussions about it, but no major complaints that I know of. Even my parents understand, once we talked about my reasons for doing it.

I've taken my time before starting the process of a legal name change, though, and have simply signed my work, introduced myself, and built my identity on internet forums, with my new name. Changing it legally will be handy mostly for banking convenience, and it will be satisfying to have what I now consider my real name on my ID and other cards, but practically speaking, it has not been a burden to ease into the name change slowly. It's also given me the chance to be 100% sure that this name is a good fit, and I don't need to change anything else about it before getting the full, legal change.

One thing - when you change it, practice signing it a lot. I waited until shortly before I had to sign a stack of prints all in one evening before getting my new signature down, and that was... stressful.

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Rootfireember — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 13:06:46 -0700

#changing of name
-DBA is how I would do it; that being said if you go the legal way, don't forget you'll have to get forms to change it for your banking stuff, credit card, library card, you know... all that crud, so it can be a hassel. I do understand the lure of changing your name; and have been contemplating it myself. (esp my last name, which has bad associations in the area).

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Rootfireember — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 16:48:11 -0700

#EvilSunItchies
Sooo.. I went out without sunscreen the other day, and got a nasty itchy rash from the sun trying to kill me via interacting with my antidepressant meds. I'm on day two of it itching like a sonofabitch, and while it looks okayish, it still itches. A lot. Seeing as it's supposed to be a stupidly hot summer in the middle of nowhere, does anyone know of anything other than aloe that I could use to stop the itching? I've tried a bunch of anti-itch bugbite type creams and they haven't touched it; aloe helps but I have to CONSTANTLY slather it on. so. uhm. yes. Any ideas, before I claw my arms/hands off due to stupid sun itchies?

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Purple Wyrm — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 17:15:04 -0700

#EvilSunItchies

It depends on what's actually causing the itchiness, but have you tried over the counter antihistamine tablets? They're generally sold for cold/flu/allergy relief, but if it's a histamine reaction causing the problem, they should shut it right down (or at least dampen it a bit).

If you've got a chemist/pharmacy/drugstore handy then dropping in asking the pharmacist for suggestions would be a good idea too. Make sure you explain that it's caused by your meds, and that you've tried a bunch of solutions which haven't worked.

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Greasemonkey — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 17:29:08 -0700

#EvilSunItchies

There are anaesthetic sprays that work miracles on painful/itchy sunburn. The one I've used in the past is called Solarcaine, but the brand names may be different in your neck of the woods.

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flecky — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 17:45:08 -0700

#EvilSunItchies

There's some good American shit called Lanacane. Medicated body powder, 100%-talc-free. It's available over the counter over here in the UK. It may help with that.

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Rootfireember — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 18:12:28 -0700

@flecky- tried lanacane last night. Didn't work ;( thanks for the suggestion though

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Purple Wyrm — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 20:33:17 -0700

#DoPeopleStillUseTVs?

Being an old fart who can’t get his head around this ‘downloading-bit-torrent-interwebs-communism-RIAA-will-eat-your-soul-raaaaar!’ thing, I possess an LG LED TV. I’ve had it for a few years and until recently it’s worked just fine, but now switching it on results in the following behaviour…

Screen starts off light grey and gradually mottles to black over a period of about two minutes.
The top half of the picture displays – frozen – for about half a second, then vanishes with a loud ‘crack’ sound.
After four or five of these half images and cracking noises the picture and sound finally come in and it works normally.

Obviously it’s screwed and needs some kind of repair or service, but I’m wondering if anyone can give me any idea of exactly how it’s screwed and around how much the repairs are likely to cost.

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Warped Savant — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 21:29:09 -0700

#DoPeopleStillUseTVs?

The problem that you are likely to encounter is that most modern electronics are designed to be thrown away and replaced. As for a price... well, that will depend on where you are and how many shops in the area repair televisions. Your best bet is to give a few of them a call (assuming tv repair shops even exist.)

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Birds_Use_Stars — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 21:53:54 -0700

#laptopsoundcard

If you like the Echo, I'd say go for it. I can't think of anything in expresscard format used for music at this point at all except for the UAD SOLO, and that's not at all what you're looking for I'm sure. Basically the music world is all USB with some Firewire stuff kicking around these days.

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Purple Wyrm — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 22:34:56 -0700

#DoPeopleStillUseTVs?

@Warped Savant - The problem that you are likely to encounter is that most modern electronics are designed to be thrown away and replaced.

You're right, but I'm hoping it'll be something like a burnt out capacitor which can just be popped out, and a new one popped back in. I can't really afford to shell out for a new TV right now, and without being bathed in its nurturing light on a nightly basis I shall most likely shrivel up and die :)

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Greasemonkey — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 02:28:47 -0700

#Deepwaterhydroponics

I'm building my first ever deep water hydroponic system (otherwise known as a bubbler) this week. I have plenty of experience with top feed hydro systems, but none with bubblers. Does anyone have any hints or tips, or know of any good tutorials? (Most of the weed culture sites have schematics, but there's a fair bit of conflicting information). In particular, can I grow using just rock wool as a medium, or do I need to use gravel?

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oldhat — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 06:22:36 -0700

#isitsafe

So my parents will be heading off to South Africa next month. They land in Johannesburg and are then taken to a reservation outside of Pretoria where a music festival is going on.

Considering I don't know too much about the climate of things in South Africa and because the internet is...well...the INTERNET and feeding me stories off kidnappers who follow people from airports and tourist murders/rapes, I'm worried. Especially because my dad manages to pull of the large, clueless and stubborn American tourist act REALLY well when travelling.

So for any friends that have been to South Africa, is it safe?

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Warped Savant — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 06:51:14 -0700

#isitsafe

I haven't been there myself, but a couple of years ago one of my female friends went to South Africa by herself when she was 25 (or so). She said she felt safe, but she was always a little wary and would always be aware of what was going on around her.
Maybe someone else can give you a more personal, recent opinion though.

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trini_naenae — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 10:35:33 -0700

#isitsafe
I'm speaking as someone who has been all over the world and have had friends who grew up (more or less) in Johannesburg. As long as they have someone to pick them up at the airport and take them to the music festival (which is what it sounds like), they are probably fine. Johannesburg is a very dangerous city, but they're passing through, and ultimately, as long as they have a local to guide them around, they should be fine just around anywhere, regardless of how dangerous it is. (And honestly, any major American city can be dangerous too, if you're clueless and go into the wrong areas and act like an obnoxious tourist.)

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oldhat — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 10:47:51 -0700

#isitsafe

Actually, it does look like they'll just be passing through now. Okay.

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Foamhead — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 07:24:35 -0700

#namethattune

Sorry to deposit this on you but it's been driving me potty since I heard it last night.

For those of you who can access BBC iPlayer, can someone please tell me what the incidental/background tune that starts at around 2.15 is, pretty please with a cherry on top?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01kw8h4/Our_World_Miami_Justice/

(sorry, doesn't appear when I try to post it as a link)

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abbeysbooks — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 14:54:16 -0700

Whatever insects you want in your back yard for their sounds, find out what they like to eat and lure them with that. I don't know the food for crickets except my collection of books.

As for cats scratching. They do it for attention. When my cats scratch me, as soon as it hurts, I stop them. I never play rough with them, so they are gentle. The only one I couldn't stop scratching was a declawed one I adopted. She was desperate to feel that I think. Declawing is very very painful. Just because they don't scream and cry doesn't mean they are not feeling the pain. It hurts.

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256 — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 15:14:42 -0700

@Foamhead - It's "Life's What You Make It" by Talk Talk.

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Foamhead — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 15:40:06 -0700

@ 256: Of course it is! I think the part of my brain which held that info was re-tasked to obsess over wondering what it was the moment I heard it. Cheers, fella.

(ETA 2 mins later: from 1985. Only. Twenty. Seven. Years. Ago. No surprise I couldn't remember the bloody thing.)

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Argos — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 12:09:23 -0700

#ComicCons

How are people's experiences with comic-cons that are not in San Diego? For various reasons which I won't list because I'll go into rant mode, this year's SDCC is the first one I'm going to that I'm actually not that excited for. I think mostly I'm sad that it's become more of a party theme than a way to connect with writers and artists whose work you like (I was just reading an article about SDCC after parties). I'm more interested in panels and running up to a comic creator and telling them how much I love their work and why and all that fangirl-ing stuff, and discovering other comics I might like by just roaming around the aisles. However, Edgar says he's heard that other cons, while not as huge as SDCC, are also crowded as fuck, but I imagine it can't be nearly the hassle SDCC has become. Thoughts? Experiences? I'm mostly interested in ECCC since it's on my coast, but I am also curious about C2E2 and NYCC since those are cities I want to visit eventually.

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oldhat — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 12:16:16 -0700

#ComicCons

I enjoy comic cons, but I also have a social anxiety towards crowds that causes me to have a panic attack until I find somewhere spacious and reasonable quiet. That said, C2E2 was quite spacious and enjoyable, allowing you to stand around for a while and chat with cartoonists. I had no problems there and it was just wonderful!

NYCC however...VERY crowded and I freaked out. I know one person got punched by me and another was elbowed which caused them to fall down (The latter being because he shouted "Amazons! I love amazons!" and pulled me out of the crowd and wrapped his arm around my shoulder when I was trying to get out and find a Quiet Space.

FanExpo here in Toronto is another good one, and got so much better when they increased the space of the con.

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Argos — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 12:26:03 -0700

#ComicCons

ah, i might stay way from NYCC then. I don't get anxiety, but I find that SDCC is much less enjoyable for me now that I find myself fighting through crowds to get from point A to point B, where previously I used to be able to just meander about and discover things along the way, and discovering new things to read and people whose work to check out is one of the prime things about the Cons for me. So if I can't do that, well some of the fun is taken out. Thanks!

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Fishelle — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 16:06:04 -0700

#ComicCons

The only one I've ever been to is ECCC. It was pretty low key compared to what I imagine SDCC is like. There were plenty of people, but I didn't get too claustrophobic. Also met a couple of my favorite artists. I emailed one of them after meeting her, because she said I could. And then she wanted to do a print trade. Which we did. So I'd recommend it.

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Argos — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 16:55:49 -0700

Hooray! Good to know, I'll definitely go check it out at least once if I can get the chance. I can do ECCC one year and C2E2 another. Maybe I'll brave NYCC, not sure, but if it's as crowded as Oldhat says it is I might just stick with SDCC, heh. These are all cities I do want to see at some point, so the cons might be the perfect opportunity for me to do so. :D

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rough night — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 17:35:24 -0700

#ComicCons

While Dragon*Con is not as much a comic con as it is a geek culture con, it does have a pretty impressive room full of comics creators who you can talk to and from whom you can buy stuff directly, and has plenty of comics related panels. It's crowded, sure, but I understand it's nowhere on the scale of New York or San Diego (though I haven't been to those), and you do usually get the opportunity to say a few words to the artists, especially if you go straight to the comic area early. I got to stammer some words of appreciation to David Mack, and if a shy thing like me has time to tell him I love his work, more socially adept folks might actually be able to have a short conversation.

Walking in crowds is still going to be less than ideal - it's pure Bourbon Street at Mardi Gras in the walkways between the hotels and the mall, but it's a bit less distressing, especially if claustrophobia is part of the issue, if you travel between buildings at ground level, and eat at the food court during non-peak hours.

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Greasemonkey — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 18:06:43 -0700

#ComicCons

Comic Shop Guy from The Simpsons and his clone brothers make up large proportion of the crowd, so be prepared to avoid what Colleen Doran once described as "Mr Stinky-Pits and his Armpit Juice".

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Spoon — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 20:58:24 -0700

#NewComicConintheNeighborhood

So we have a somewhat local comic convention that's in its second year and has been building up steam, and I was wondering what advice you all might have as far as events the con can feature, or what you enjoy seeing at cons. Names of artists and writers, especially.

It's been a while since I've been here to the forum, and so I'd also like to throw here that I've missed it terribly and have been enjoying reading the content :)

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Purple Wyrm — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 21:29:57 -0700

#GymNoob

For years I've been muttering to myself that if a gym opened up somewhere convenient to me I'd sign up and get in shape. This has now come back to bite me in the arse as a 24 hour gym has opened up next to me. Literally right next door to my apartment complex. Derp.

I am a socially anxious, badly overweight nerd who has never set foot in a gym in my entire life. The sight of all those fit, athletic people on their treadmills gives me the heebie-jeebies. But I know that if I don't suck it up and start getting some regular exercise I'll continue to swell up like a walrus until I keel over and die (it would also be nice to get some of those endorphins everyone keeps talking about...)

So, how should a complete noob approach the wonderful world of gym based exercise, and what should said noob expect once it is successfully approached?

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Steve Toase — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 04:44:44 -0700

#ComicCons
Obviously I'm a bit geographically distant from you all over the pond. I went to my first comic con last year, Thoughtbubble in Leeds UK. I loved it. It runs the same time as the Leeds Film Festival. One of the reasons we went over was to see Uncle Ellis's Ghost porn biography thing.

What hit me with Thoughtbubble was the high level of creativity in the room. So many people working on different small projects. Big names such as Bryan Talbot (Who is a very humble chap). This year our own Si is going to leave his greasy fingerprints over the whole endeavour. In all honest I came out fired up with ideas and inspiration.

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Argos — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:06:24 -0700

#GymNoob

I personally hate gyms and work out at home. However, things that i find make gyms easier:

1) If they have group classes, sign up for those. You'll have an instructor teaching you proper form & technique, and while it might be intimidating at first to be with other people, you'll build confidence and then learn to just not care that they can see you. I used to be really embarrassed in yoga classes when my shirt revealed my belly if we were doing inverted poses, and I learned not give a fuck when I realized that everyone else is too busy doing their pose to notice me.

2) If you can afford it, hire a personal trainer, one session is all you need. Be honest and say "hey, I'm only hiring you for the one session, can you show me how to work out properly and effectively?" Sometimes they'll even give you a workout plan to use for a couple weeks.

3) Try and find an experienced gym buddy. You might be unfit, but I personally find that people are willing to help out people below their fitness level who are genuinely trying to get healthy. I made a friend though one of my college classes who was a gym buff, so for a while i did weight with him and he told me what exercises to do for the body parts I wanted to work on and how to do them properly. And I had someone to talk to and hang out with while i was there.

4) If you can't get into a class, hire a trainer, or find a buddy, look online for sample plans (Spark People has great workout plans and a list of various exercises you can do, as well as how to do them), and scour youtube videos for how to use various machines properly. That way when you're at the gym you're not looking at a machine like an idiot (that's where i get self-conscious at the gym, trying to figure out how to use something), and you already know more or less what your workout plan for that day is. Cardio machines are less intimidating.

If you're just starting, honestly I would start with light to moderate cardio so you can start getting your heart into shape, with some weights here and there to get your muscles going. You don't want to jump right into super intense exercise and burn yourself out, or worse, injure yourself. Start off walking on the treadmill, or using the elliptical, and after a couple weeks, start adding jogging intervals (e.g. walk for a minute, jog for 20 seconds, repeat), and then you can increase the jogging intervals and work your way up to just jogging. If you hate running (like i do) try a stationary bike and do the same. I personally LOVED spinning classes and they get your heart into shape fast.

For weight training, if you're going the traditional route, you want your weight to be somewhere where you can do 8-12 reps with proper form, but get tired enough on that last rep that you almost can't hold form. That's a set. Do 3-5 sets with about a minute rest in between each set. Personally I like to do circuits because they're more efficient, but the thing with gyms is that if you leave one weight station for another to move onto the next part of your circuit, someone might take your spot, or the next machine won't be available, so you kind of just have to stay at the one machine until you've finished your sets.

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dorkmuffin — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 14:13:25 -0700

#GymNoob

All those fit, athletic people who give you the heebie-jeebies? Not to be feared. The only thing they're thinking, if in fact they're thinking anything beyond what they're going to do next in their workout, is, "hey, look at that out of shape person trying to get fit. Good for them."

Argos just gave you some of the best advice. Seriously. Argos, you are a rockstar.

And @Purple Wyrm, If you have the option, I'd definitely consider springing for a few sessions with a trainer, because those people can generally gauge your level of fitness and they can help you structure a routine based on goals you provide. Classes are good too, because most people look like assholes in group classes. Especially something like Zumba.

Unless it's a yoga class and there's that one dude who is REALLY REALLY REALLY into it, and then they're a different brand of asshole. :-P

Edited to add: If you're sheepish, you could start out with just doing cardio at the gym and then doing some body circuits in your house on a yoga mat or a towel or something. Body circuits include sit ups, push ups, jumping jacks, etc.

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Argos — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 14:25:06 -0700

#Gym

I once had a yoga class with a girl who was REALLY REALLY into it, and in the process of getting certified to become an instructor. She pretty much just ignored what the instructor was telling us and doing her own thing, and the instructor had to pull her aside several times and tell her that if she wasn't going to do what everyone in the class was doing (and thus distracting the other students), that she needed to leave. Eventually she finally went with it, but you could tell that she really just wanted to do her own thing and was only there to get the instructor to sign her sheet so she could get her certification. But I've only had that happen once, all of my other yoga classes have been filled with awesome people. It helps that most of the ones I've taken were 8 week long classes offered at my college (though open to the community), and you had to sign up for the class, so you were always had the same group of people in your class and would eventually get used to them all. No having to deal with new people EVERY TIME.

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Greasemonkey — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 16:25:19 -0700

Still need help with my hydroponic project - anyone have any experience?

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Purple Wyrm — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:19:00 -0700

#GymNoob

@Argos and Dorkmuffin - Thanks! Your advice makes the prospect of getting in shape lot less intimidating.

One thing I forgot to ask about though was footwear - my shoe collection consists of one pair of old, beat up docs and one pair of slightly less old, slightly less beat up docs. I suspect that neither are exactly gym-suitable.

My options are to go and buy a pair of cheap-ass sports shoes from a cheap-ass department store, or drop in to an actual sports shoe store and get something a bit more expensive and presumably better for my feet. I'm tempted to go with the former for purely financial reasons, but wonder if I'd be doing more harm than good.

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dorkmuffin — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 20:04:26 -0700

#GymNoob

There are plenty of inexpensive good gym shoe options. I'm lucky enough that my mom lives near a New Balance factory store, but you can hunt around online for good deals on shoes. I'd recommend finding a good shoe in a store, one that is maybe 50ish bucks or less (in store) and then trying it on. Look for that shoe online later. If you happen to be near a Bob's, those have decent deals. But be prepared to drop at least $40.

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nelzbub — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 09:39:14 -0700

@ greasemonkey- all my experience is with soil methods but I'll make a couple of inquiries with folk around town.
A web forum that could help is grasscity.com

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Greasemonkey — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 10:11:29 -0700

@Nelzbub - cheers!

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glukkake — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 18:46:47 -0700

#gymnoob
related-ish but, I'm annoyed at the current state of my body where some things are freakishly thin and unshapely and others are flabbier that I would like. Were I rich, I would suck one part out and slap it on the other. Until that time, I am doomed to trying to start and maintain an exercise regiment. I've heard mixed things about trying to lose fat/tone up just one certain area (waist/stomach) and also like, how do I make things bigger? Like, my calves are slender like a grasshopper and I would like them shapely. I walk all day every day (probably a mile minimum), I eat relatively healthy when I do manage to shovel food inside me. Once a week I do ridiculous amounts of exercise while screenprinting but have yet to see any improvement to arm/back muscles. Is this a thing that requires trainers and the like or is there just internet research I could dig up on targeting areas? Gah, I am having an irritated month at my body and the things it is doing.

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Argos — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 19:07:57 -0700

#gym

Doing a quick answer cos I'm leaving for dinner with a friend, but when I have more time I will go into more depth about strength gaining & getting lean and whatnot.

Okay, so, you CAN spot train muscles to make things bigger. If you target x muscle, x muscle will get bigger. However, you can't lost fat in only certain spots. So if want your abs to show or want smaller hips, you have to lose fat overall. Again, Spark People has great resources for looking up exercises. You can also do searches for specific body parts. For example my triceps are really weak - I can do regular pushups but not tricep pushups, so I recently googled exercises that specifically targeted my triceps. In short, to make things bigger, strength train those muscles. More resistance/weight = bigger muscles, while more reps of smaller weights = smaller but more defined muscles.

Honestly, I've never used a trainer. In 2010 I was 30 pounds heavier, couldn't do ANY pushups, and was generally very out of shape. I am still overweight but pretty healthy at this point, and I am WAY stronger than I used to be. I have never used a trainer. Just be careful and make sure you pay attention to form so you don't injure yourself. The nice thing about trainers is they can spot what you're doing wrong and tell you how to fix it.

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Rachæl Tyrell — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 19:14:05 -0700

#gymnoob

@ Glukkake - If there were a way to make your calves thicker, I'd leap at it in a heartbeat (I've always been annoyed at my disproportionately skinny calves to the curvey rest of me). I think that's what most men tend to be self concious about; having skinny calves, and it's just really hard to make them big. I dream of Crumb legs! I mean, skinny-calf people could work it out a lot, but it'd make for that tennis ball muscle thing, not a uniformly thick calf. Anyway, like Argos said, you can't lose weight in targeted areas, but you can TONE in targeted areas, and cheat at it, by strapping a TENS unit to yourself on the desired area! I've done it for my abs because I need to build core muscles but I can't really do most traditional stomach exercises with my crap spine, and I really got great results that were visibly noticed by others.

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Kosmopolit — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 06:14:16 -0700

#gymnoob, I'm in almost the exact same situation.

I have many of the same concerns and insecurities but abotu two weeks ago I got up the nerve to actually visit my local gym.

I was wearing fairly old board shorts and a t-shirt and ceap-ass sneakers.

Nobody gave me a second look and it was all far less stressful than I had anticipated.

YMMV. of course, but I say just go for it.

Remember too that many gyms open really long hours so you could alwasy go at 5 AM or 11.30PM when they're probably almost empty.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Argos — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 12:43:13 -0700

#molasses

hmm, so I was gonna put this in the Cooking thread but it's doing that whole "I don't want to be resurrected" thing.

Anyway, I gave up dairy recently in hopes that doing so will improve my acne issues. As a result, I'm looking to other sources for calcium, and have heard that blackstrap molasses is a great source of calcium. I bought a bottle of it today, tasted it, and I really like the flavor. So now I want to know - what are some uses for blackstrap molasses? I know i can use it for chili, beans, with chicken as a glaze, with oatmeal as a sweetener, and for baking (but I'm hoping to not to only use it for baking). What are some other things I can use blackstrap molasses with? Anyone know any good recipes?

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

oldhat — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 12:58:56 -0700

@argos

Beeeeeeeeer.

Make a stout!

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Argos — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 13:29:16 -0700

YES

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Comicbookbunny — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 16:51:53 -0700

So if anyone can be arsed to read it:

I had an incident with a model in my chair while I was doing her make-up poking her fingers rather hard into my lady bits unbidden (they still hurt...). DID NOT WANT.
So the whole post is the story and the question is why the fuck is there a double standard where a girl doing that to another girl (or even poking a guy) is over looked
but if a dude did it he wouldn't walk home with all of his fingers.

#Doublestandard

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Greasemonkey — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:48:20 -0700

Sexual assault is sexual assault, regardless of who's doing the poking.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Warped Savant — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 18:09:59 -0700

#DoubleStandard

Bunny, that's terrible that anyone would think that's okay. Part of the problem would be that a lot of people see girls doing things like that as 'cute' whereas a guy doing it is 'creepy'. If, as you said, she's already known for this type of behaviour, maybe you'll hear from a few other people that have had the same problems with her. Now, I don't have any experience with something like this, but you would have to figure that in not too long, people won't want to work with her and therefore she'll have to find a new career.
Or, if it's bad enough, charge her with sexual assault. Regular people might not think anything of it, but a judge sure should see why it's wrong and not just write it off as a young girl being cute.

Totally unrelated: As always, beautiful pictures. You're a gorgeous woman.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Soviet Rocket No. 9 — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:23:03 -0700

Alright Whitechapel I have a life problem that I need your help with,

I've been a member of a national club (which I don't know if I should name), which normally deals with community and business relations (helping out with some trash clean up, painting a day care, that sort of thing). I never thought of it as religious even when we normally have a prayer during meetings, heck we have a committee named "Human & Spiritual Values" which I took to mean as accepting (the club that is) of those with a belief and those with not, until a incident which took place tonight.

I also need to point out that I am a proud atheist. I dislike religion for their continued crimes against humanity and getting away with it, because it's "all for the greater good". I lovingly read Hitchens, and like to read about history not for the viewpoint of "our founding fathers were Gods among men", but as "well...shit we were just making it up and hoping for the best, and goddamn it! It worked."

A gentleman whom I'll name "Bob" is a retired pastor who is a member of our chapter. He's spoken before about Christian martyrs using a videotape from a organization he's a member of. The video to me was the equivalent of those "Kony 2012" videos, brutal, dark, made to make you feel nothing but pain, but lacking in a serious voice. Like a finger pointing and saying,"Feel bad white people! Feel bad for what you have!" I did not confront Bob about this, but I told him afterwards that he missed a very important Christian martyr. He respectfully acknowledged, and I moved on. I did it in a non confrontational manner, and I did not want him to be alarmed. I believe that was the impression he had received too.

Flash forward to tonight: Bob speaks again, this time about a organization called "the Alliance Defense Fund" a legal group which courts itself a "conservative NAACP". He spoke of a particular incident (this is also heresay, from here on), in which a college student was asked by her professor to go out in public with a member of the opposite sex, and do things (such as hold hands, kiss, etc.) to see what it 's like to be looked at. She refused, she told him this. He filed a class 3 compliment (most serious) against her, and he dropped her from his class. She went to a faculty review board. She was refused a lawyer and her parents to be with her. She asked was very personal questions (do you believe that all gays are going to hell, some more but I cannot remember), and left crying. Her degree was withheld until she renounced. She sued with a lawyer from the fund and won. End heresay.

The part that bothered me was afterward a lady, whom we'll name "Mona", started talked about the homosexual agenda, that gays are bad, all sorts of hateful things. Then another person joins in, then another, then another, and then our chapter President, who we'll name "Diana" joins in too. The entire time this is going, I'm feeling a mixture of emotions, mostly white hot anger, as to why these people are saying this. I've always believed in standing up for myself, but at the same time, I believe in being a gentleman and not stooping to a low level. I was angry that these people were talking about something like this. I've only been a member for less than a year, and I've never shared my beliefs with anyone. I wanted scream and shout, but chose not to, since it would spin everything into a vortex that I don't know I could escape from. I also should add that Diana is my boss at my job for the past eight years, and has never seemed bigoted to the customers or employees. She and I are a different political spectrums, but it's never been a problem and we have a very familiar easy going relationship.

Afterward (thankfully Diana knows how to keep things on track, she kept from it being the ultimate shitstorm of shittyness) the meeting was adjourned, and everyone got up to talk to everyone. I left without a word, disappointed, tearful, and rageful. I like to think that I left a gentleman. The problem (thank you for staying for so long, there is a point) is that I'm so hurt that I want to quit. The stopper is that Diana works with me, is very emotional, and would want to know why. She would seriously want to know, and I need to know how to handle this gently and with grace.

How do I be a gentleman and exit, and not let it fall into a void of no escape, where I damage a meaningful relationship?

#Leavingwithoutbeingadick

EDIT: Comicbookbunny. Do not feel guilty for standing against a wrong. A wrong is a wrong, no matter how big or how small.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

city creed — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:39:58 -0700

wow

@comicbookbunny that sounds awful. You dealt with it firmly and with far more grace than it's reasonable to expect, more power to you.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Purple Wyrm — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:47:06 -0700

#Leavingwithoutbeingadick

My advice (for what it's worth) would be to be totally up front about why you're leaving but...

a) Remain calm and unemotional. Resist the urge to start yelling, screaming or crying. Be polite (if cold) but firm.
b) Don't get drawn into any kind of debate. Don't try and justify your position or change her views. Simply state that you're leaving, the reasons why, and that it's not open to discussion.
c) Resist the urge to score points or get one up on her. Your aim isn't to "win" - it's to make your views clear and leave with a minimum of fuss.
d) Make it all about you. Don't say "Your views are wrong", say "I disagree with your views". It may be a bit of a coward's option but it will allow her to internalise the issue as being something wrong with you as opposed to something wrong with her and hence be less threatening.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Warped Savant — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:36:18 -0700

#Leavingwithoutbeingadick

"...I'm so hurt that I want to quit." Just to be clear: You mean you want to quit the group, not quit your job where 'Diana' is your boss, right?

Are there other things about the group that you don't agree with? Are you able to find something else that you enjoy that would make you unavailable on the night that the group meets? I know what it's like to want out of a group but you don't want to offend anyone due to them being friends / co-workers.
I still haven't figured out how to do it properly...

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Foamhead — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 01:05:57 -0700

#ChromeandUnkyWarren'sWebpage (aka #IronyIHazIt)

Does anyone have an idea why this might be happening whenever I re-open Chrone?

It's just one of a dozen tabs I have perma-open (inc. Whitechapel) spread between two windows but this cropping has started happening only to warrenellis.com for the last month or so. It's easily fixed by opening it again in a new tab but was wondering if it might be indicative of more than a new-found shyness on Warren's part?

It's a Windows 7 Home Edition with service pack 1 machine, btw.

Thanks.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

city creed — Thu, 19 Jul 2012 08:34:06 -0700

#Leavingwithoutbeingadick

This is a sticky situation, I don't envy you.

Let me preface this by saying I'm not in the habit of giving (non-culinary) advice, mainly because I worry about being responsible if it doesn't work out. Ultimately, the course through this that you chart yourself is the only one worth taking. So let's just think about it a bit instead. I apologise in advance for the length of what follows but your story strikes a chord with me somewhere, I guess my own experience has analogues.

Ok so, I'm going to start with a couple of sets of claims based on my reading of your original post.

1) Diana is someone you like and respect as a person. You value your professional and social relationship with her highly. You don't wish to jeopardize an important friendship with melodramatic ideological flouncing.

2) The nature of your disagreement with the group is not a simple matter of where each of you lies on the political spectrum. (Please take a moment now to consider what the real difference is, what specifically happened in that meeting that upset you, and then unveil the spoiler below to see my guess)

It was a profound objection to the group being used to foment hatred and fear.

I think that if you agree the truth of these two sets of claims (reword them if you like) and focus your mind on them as reference points then you'll not go far wrong steering by them. They might conflict some, but they are not in principle irreconcilable.

Anyone who uses an expression like "the gay agenda" in earnest has abandoned meaningful political discourse for paranoid rhetoric. They are angry and scared of something they don't understand and those emotions feel more true to them than a reality that challenges their comforting, simplistic assumptions.
If I heard someone I love saying such a thing I'd try to honestly engage with them and show all the ways that believing in such a thing is the symptom of a terrible poison, I'd never let it go unchallenged. But pragmatically speaking, it's just not worth my time and energy to confront every single person I meet whose views I find obnoxious. It's also a Wheaton's Law violation.

You are a strong and wise and kind person Soviet, it's in your writing, stand in that power. You can call it being gentleman-ly if that works for you, though others have similar qualities and don't frame it that way. You resist bystander effect and groupthink, you can clearly hear the voice of your own morality calling you to positive action. These are not universals, far from it. I'm sure the people of the group, and particularly Diana, see these qualities too and value them. Any negative judgement you pass on them is going to hurt. That's always worth avoiding.

When you come to speak to Diana next, recognize openly to her that her friendship and respect is very important to you. She also has strength and wisdom and kindness if she managed to get that meeting back on track after it descended into lunacy. Let her know you see that. Share with her a bit of what you said above about how much the meeting hurt and upset you and try to explain to her why. Let her realize before you say it that you are going to be leaving the group. She might be angry or disappointed and want to negotiate, or accepting and understanding. There's no way to know until you have that conversation, so don't frame her response in advance, just show that you are listening to whatever she has to say.

Be firm - your conscience has called this one.
Be loving - a nourishing friendship is more important than shaming people.
Be well.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

shannon.gilly.3 — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 00:36:32 -0700

#molasses
Make buttermilk biscuits using any good recipe you can find, serve them warm, dip them in the molasses. greatest. breakfast. ever.

also, rum, if you don't mind bending a few laws about distilling etc.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Argos — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 08:11:57 -0700

But I gave up dairy T__T i.e. no can do buttermilk.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Rachæl Tyrell — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 01:35:28 -0700

#doublestandard

Ten years ago, I had an exgf who physically attacked me. I refrained from retaliating. I ended up with a swollen lip and scratches across my face. Of all the mutual friends we had, only one actually took my side. Everyone else simply kept out of it. Had she been a man, the reaction would have been drastically different. The double standard is atrocious.

I think that keeping strict standards of professionalism, refusing to accept sexually agressive behavior and explaining to others how and why you have such personal barriers and choose to no longer work with some people might put some those in your industry off for the time being, but in the long run you will earn yourself a far more respectful client base.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Kosmopolit — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 04:26:22 -0700

#double standard

20-odd years ago my brother narrowly escaped prosecution for punching his ex-wife in the face.

It helped that she'd run at him holding a large rock over head while screaming "I'll kill you!".

The police did ask why he hadn't resorted to a less violent form of defense and he explained that he was hampered by the cast on his arm - which his ex-wife had broken a week earlier when she attacked him with a hammer while he slept.

Don't get me wrong, men are far morely than women to be the initiator in domestic violence - but there are wexceptions.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Osmosis — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:27:00 -0700

#newupdateoldquestion

A while back I asked about removing bluetac stains from walls, in advance of moving out of a flat and hoping for my deposit back. The Whitechapel consensus was sugar soap. I did my bit; moved out; came back the day after to scrub and clean and hoover. I'm pleased to say I got my deposit back in full, and I'm now living in a lovely new house with friendly, social-life-enjoying housemates, and will never have to see my odd ex-housemate or my scumbag landlord again! Thanks Whitechapel!

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

curb — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 00:34:30 -0700

Congratulations! The elusive full return does exist then!

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Nygaard — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 13:57:16 -0700

#Leavingwithoutbeingadick

Might help to know that this stuff (the "gay agenda" babble) are a species of conspiracy theory. This weird family of ideas generally does not go very deep. They're the result of various social echo chambers - such as a religious discussion group - amplifying the work of rumour, hearsay and professional shit-stirrers. They tend to be quite shocking to people from outside the echo chamber, who have not been habituated to the particular brand of bullshit the people who are "in on the secret" have trained themselves to believe and tell each other. "Groupthink" is a good google keyword for the phenomenon :)

It seems to be a pattern that people pick bits and pieces of these mutant belief structures up like dogs with ticks whenever they gather in small groups; when they do not feel that they have much of a personal stake on the issue, everyone else seems to believe the same thing, and their skills in critical thinking and thorough examination of the implicature of statements are a bit rusty. That people quote these crazy things does not usually indicate that they have internalized, or even thought much about, the actual core beliefs of the ideaplex.

In other words, they do not really believe that gay people are inherently inferior to other people and organizing to drag everyone down to their level, or, to take different conspiracism, that all Mexicans and Catholics are in on a conspiracy to outbreed US protestants. They do not actually believe that muslims are secretly trying to create a caliphate in Europe, and that white people have to take up arms and form a violent resistance. Conspiracy theories ultimately really do imply these batshit insane things. People who've stuck with and invested in their crazyness for a while, and connected the dots from the more innocent periphery beliefs, really do believe this vile paranoid shit about other people. Some of them even act on it. Conspiracy theories look innocent enough on the surface - at least to people already inclined to dislike the idea of, say, homosexuality, or worry about immigration. It's usually well-educated, reasonably sane middle class people who go off on this kind of mental adventure. But the core beliefs, the things you have to believe about the world for the theory to be consistent with observed reality, are always a shambles of ad-hoc rationalizations wrapped around a core of undiluted psychosis.

While the general elements of a conspiracy theory (an enemy, a secret pact, a "magic bullet" etc.) seem almost completely interchangeable, the structure of conspiracist belief has remained remarkably consistent over several centuries. So there are conspiracy theories about almost everything - every celebrity death for the past 60 years, about pearl harbour, about aliens - about aircraft condensation trails, for crap's sake - but the patterns are always similar, just fill in the blanks. Worryingly, a lot of these ideas appear to be deliberately fabricated, by people who want to further political goals (such as birthers) or make money (Holy Blood/DaVinci code, DIana). I'd be more inclined to see these people as pitiful victims than dangerous fanatics.

I wouldn't be too confronting; people who have made an untenable and ultimately ridiculous position part of their social identity can react very badly to having their bubble popped.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Soviet Rocket No. 9 — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 04:57:36 -0700

#Leavingwithoutbeingadick.

UPDATE: Told Diana that I was leaving due to gas issues (each meeting was a 45 minute drive for me) and left it at that. She was reasonably upset, but that's all that happened. I didn't want to confront with the issues, since we still have to work together. It's just odd that a in one minute a person seems reasonable and the next they're not. Very cult like, and I think Nygaard said it best as groupthink. But that's a discussion for another time.

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

DavidLejeune — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 18:10:38 -0700

#blogname

So now that I'm out of work and made of nothing but time, I am mentally revisiting a thought I had a while back about starting up a video game blog. While previously I was going to call it 'In the Trenches' as it was going to be from the perspective of someone in one of the lowest rungs of the industry (i.e. Me), now that's not really usable because A. The Penny Arcade guys have their 'Trenches' comic about video game testers, and B. I'm (hopefully temporarily) not actually in the industry anymore.

So now I'm stuck on what the hell to call it, so I'm looking for ideas or suggestions.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

taphead — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 18:56:10 -0700

#blogname

A variation of "Toad Farm", as in (I am but a) mushroom + Mario/geek culture + farm? Test lab nerd reference?

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

rough night — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 01:02:05 -0700

#blogname

"Level One Game Designer" or the like?

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Flabyo — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 04:50:29 -0700

#blogname - 'I love the smell of pizza in the morning'

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Finagle — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 07:21:33 -0700

#paypal

I have a friend who wishes to accept Paypal payments for services in the U.K. She is concerned about her personal Information being shared. It seems to me that you can take out a PayPal business account under a pseudonymous business name, and have your real name and address hidden from the recipient.

Can anyone verify if this is the case, and whether PayPal cares if it is a properly registered U.K. Business?

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Littlepurplegoth — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 18:16:30 -0700

#paypal

If you hide this info your business is not operating legally within the EU. Sorry. You can be xx trading as yy though (the accepted format for a sole trader). You must have full contact details available somewhere on your website. This need not be a home address/number, but it must be an address you can be contacted through.

As for 'properly registered' we don't have those requirements unless there are drugs, medical devices, or financial services involved (a few more,but that's the gist). Or is your friend proposing to set up as a Ltd company? There are different rules for that :-)

Lots of info out there - contact business link or local Trading Standards for specifics, some info on the CAB website as well. Beware of anyone who wants cash for business advice though!

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Kosmopolit — Thu, 09 Aug 2012 20:33:44 -0700

#XL crashing

In my day job we use Microsoft XL extensively. Because we have to e-mail documents to multiple wholesale customers who have different computer set-ups, we use the Windows 95/XP or 2003/2007 XL formats as our internal working formats.

We have a persistent problem with XL crashing. It's intermittent (of course) and there's no real explanation as to why it happens just one of those "Microsoft XL encountered a problem and needs to close") worse it does this repeatedly crashes, restarts recovery, crashes, restarts. Usually this happens when we're using the "sort" or "filter" functions on large spreadsheet files (as in 12,000 lines by about 8 rows of data.)

We're losing a LOT of work when this happens (maybe once a month on average.) We've upgraded the computer, added extra RAM, upgraded to Windows 7 and nothing seems to prevent this happening.

Any idea what the problem is?

I'm thinking it may be lack of forward compatibility between different versions of XL but any help would be appreciated.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Steerpike — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 16:07:54 -0700

#XL crashing

Just to be able to rule things out, does work use a lot of macros or add-ins?

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

DavidLejeune — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 17:36:44 -0700

#XL Crashing

Also, what version of MS Office are you using? 2007, 2010? 64-bit or 32-bit? 12,000 lines is a fuckload of data for one sheet (I assume it's on one sheet and not 12,000 total for the workbook), and if you're doing it on a 32-bit system (or 32-bit Office on 64-bit Win7) that could very well be the issue.

Have you tried other spreadsheet software like OpenOffice Calc or Google Spreadsheets? They both export to Excel 97-2003 format. I'm going to sound like a Google shill, but Google Spreadsheets is fucking awesome. Especially if you have a lot of people internally that make changes to the spreadsheet before you send it out to your clients, since everybody can edit it simultaneously and see what changes are being by who in real-time, and it saves and archives after every change, so if you need to revert you can.

ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

Kosmopolit — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:03:57 -0700

Thanks for replying to an old thread guys.

There are no macros involved and the problem shows up with other smaller files as well.

We are using Office 2010. We use OpenOffice for some tasks but there are some things that are just much easier to do in XL and we've noticed some glitches in Openoffice that are as bad or worse - for example occasionally copying absolute values when its supposed to be copying equations.

I'll take a look at Google spreadsheet. We currently use Dropbox to sync files across different machiens and different offices but we're running into problems with that as well.