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Main Junction: ASK WHITECHAPEL -- the You Can Haz Help Now thread (Closes 22nd July)

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  1.  (10734.1)
    Bring us your ontological queries. Bring us your relationship problems and the courage to be laughed at. Bring us your need to know that word, y’know the one, it’s on the tip of your tongue, what the fuck is that word, oh god oh god.
    Bring us your yearning for solutions to mathematical dilemmas, beer-related uncertainties, genitalia-piercing indecision and demands for perspective. Bring us embarrassing questions regarding the removal of blunt objects from nether regions – it’s for a friend, honest – and bring us probing global challenges about How Those Other Guys Live.

    Bring us research enquiries, cultural quandaries, opinion-baiting on relevant world events and Shit You’ve Always Wondered About.

    Ask Whitechapel – anything.

    And Whitechapellers? Be a brick and answer back, eh?

    INSTRUCTIONS:

    When posing a question, be sure and include a representative #hashtag. When answering a question, head your answer with the same tag.

    An example:

    Q. What is the true nature of the threat posed by the #UrethralAttackMaggots?

    A. #UrethralAttackMaggots.
    Horror, horror, only horror, pure horror, unmitigated horror, constant and endless horror, for those who Fail To Follow Instructions.
  2.  (10734.2)
    Well, I'd asked two questions right before the closing of the previous thread, so I'd like to say:

    #insectsong

    While Taphead did find me some great audio recordings to hold me over, where can I order a collection of katydids, cicadas, and field crickets? I've found crickets online, but they are feeder crickets and do not make a lot of noise. I want to try and create summer sounds in my back yard.

    #fonts

    @Ariana - Thank you for the advice! I knew of monospaced fonts, but the letters are still of different sizes. Is there a term I can use for mono-sized fonts? Is that a thing?
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012
     (10734.3)
    #Fonts, @Rachael, I'm not sure what exactly you're asking. Do you want all the caps to be the same height? Every single letter to be the same height for lower case and caps? Regardless of what font you use, you're going to have to adjust the position of the letters to be evenly spaced (for the non-designer-types, this is called kerning).

    Off the top of my head the fonts I can think of (not free) are House Gothic & Filosofia Unicase. Those have the same height across all letters, lowercase or not. The term for that is a unicase font. For all caps, Neutraface, Futura, and Gotham are some nice sans serifs with some kick ass capital letters.

    Again, it's a litttttle unclear what you're getting after. Do you have a drawing of something approximately like what you're trying to accomplish? That'd probably help.

    AND NO. NEVER EVER EVER EVER STRETCH FONTS. Bad. Bad bad bad bad! (I know you didn't want to do this, but it was suggested in the last thread, and like tap mentioned, it makes anyone with a design background start twitching because it NEVER looks good)
  4.  (10734.4)
    #fonts -

    I'm not sure how else to explain this. :/

    I need it so that the O is perfectly centered in the word FOX, so I need the letters to all be the same size. I guess should use the term width? Preferably a geometric font, because I'd like the O to be a perfect circle. I don't know how else to say it. I did try googling the term "free mono-width", and all that returned was a "monowidth ocelot" font, which technically does what I need, aside from it not being a geometric font.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAriana
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012 edited
     (10734.5)
    #fonts

    I need it so that the O is perfectly centered in the word FOX, so I need the letters to all be the same size.
    Do you? Because it sounds like you really just need the F and the X to be the same size. Which, if you want a free geometric typeface, is probably the best you're going to be able to do (without altering the letters yourself). I'm guessing that, as Caroline mentioned, the issues you're having with many free fonts is that the kerning is all screwed up -- the O is sitting closer to the F and the X is all the way over to the side, or the O is nestled so tight into the X that it looks like they're getting, ah, a little intimate. That's the sort of thing designers need to deal with allll the time -- just adjust the letter spacing on either side of the O by hand.



    (I haven't slept in... a while, so I got a bit goofy there at the end of putting together this example image...)
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012
     (10734.6)
    #fonts

    You can also play with different fonts here (the ones I mentioned are a good starting place and Fontshop does suggest other ones). I can email you if you have more specific questions. This is the type of question that can be hard to ask if you don't have a pretty thorough typographic background. I'll email you.
  7.  (10734.7)
    #fonts

    ....Yes? Yes! I do just need the F and X to be the same size! YES! I hadn't thought of it that way! Oh huzzah! I had been futzing with the kerning of some of the fonts, but this opens up a much broader scope. Oh, I feel silly now.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAriana
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012
     (10734.8)
    #fonts
    Oh, I feel silly now.
    Happens to everyone at some point -- you get an idea for a specific design, and don't realize until about halfway through that if you'd just focused on one part instead of the whole thing, you could have saved yourself hours.
    •  
      CommentAuthorglukkake
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012
     (10734.9)
    #insectsong
    That might be a better question for the Googles than us. Also, I'd just like to kindly remind that if you're introducing a bunch of animals to an area, especially crop eaters, then it's also likely that they can become at worst a pest in the area and at best, a quick meal for local predators. While it's nice to think about insects running wild in the backyard, music recordings or keeping them indoors with you where you can provide for them is a bit of a better investment, no?

    I bring this up just because I remember once as a wee child thinking it was fun to raise caterpillars to butterflies, then released them and they utterly destroyed several potted plants we kept. Sigh.
  10.  (10734.10)
    #insectsong

    @glukkake - I did try googling for as many different phrases I could think of (as I'd hope anyone would before posting a question here), but I could find nothing beyond feeder crickets, which are not the "black field" crickets that are indigenous to this area that make the chirping sounds at night. The idea that letting them free might result in disaster had occurred to me, and I'd intended on asking whatever business I could find that sold such creatures what they'd recommend, and possibly I'd keep them contained in a few terrariums outside. However, field crickets ARE native to this area, so they'd not be pests (anymore than fire flies), and that's why I was trying to find specifically those insects. Why won't the world let me have nature in the city?!?!!!

    #fonts

    @Ariana - oh thank you again! and Thank you for the kerning picture! (and oh yes, many hours) Still, I must hunt for a font with equal width F & X, as the asymmetry of a broader X will irk me to no end, especially with the angled X creating an optical illusion of closeness engulfing the O. But huzzah! Oh, the possibilities!
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2012
     (10734.11)
    @Rachael, do you know how to convert fonts to outlines in Illustrator? If you reeeeally want it, you can convert the font to an outline and then extend the F.

    I wouldn't recommend it, I don't think you need it, but it's definitely doable. I think the kerning so that the X hugs the O nicely could make up for the issue you seem to have of the O being centered. That said, there are some more condensed fonts out there that I bet have an X the same width as an F.
  12.  (10734.12)
    @dorkmuffin - Yes. Little as I know my way around illustrator, I do know that. You are right, that could be a fixydoo. Hmmmm. Oh, the possibilities! I'm a bit overwrought with decision now. :D (thanks, people!)
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJun 26th 2012
     (10734.13)
    #makeup

    Just got back from a weekend trip to Boston, so I was offline for a while.

    @Glukkake - thing with my skin is, I already DO cleanse it daily, exfoliate occasionally, and drink ALL THE WATER. A regular cleansing routine for my skin means the difference between huge, very infected and very red blemishes, lots of blackheads with some flakiness and shiny oily skin, and a smaller, less irritated and infected blemishes, less blackheads (that are also easier to extract), not quite as much oiliness, and soft & supple moisturized skin. I've even had an aesthetician compliment my skin because it was so well hydrated despite the fact that it was totally broken out. So yeah, unfortunately, a good skin care routine doesn't make my skin go from broken out to clear, just horribly broken out and irritated to kind of broken out and not so irritated. bah :/

    @Rachael - that video is awesome! Thanks :D
    •  
      CommentAuthorglukkake
    • CommentTimeJun 26th 2012 edited
     (10734.14)
    #insectsong

    http://www.livefoods.co.uk/index.php/reptile-food-livefood-bulk-c-120_94 this is UK based but it was the first thing I pulled up.

    edit to add: if you order from them, I might wanna toss you some extra cash to pick up some squishy worms for Harvey. I love feeding him new things.
  15.  (10734.15)
    #insectsong

    @glukkake - HOORAY! You are the Finding Things Master! Oh, this is PERFECT! *dance dance dance*
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeJun 27th 2012
     (10734.16)
    #insectsong

    Today's news:

    Environmental authorities are at a loss as to how to combat a new strain of "super crickets" that are currently devouring Central Park. The source of these meter-long creatures is, as yet, not confirmed. Rumour has it, though, that a mad UK scientist may have been responsible for the outbreak, but he refuses to leave his laboratory to pass comment. If you see any of these abominations of nature feasting do not, we repeat: DO NOT approach, or their master may squish you as she dances.

    In other news, Harvey has been seen munching on the innards of bulbous worms of an exotic origin. Inside sources say he loves 'em and wants more.

    I know, I'm sorry etc. Think yourselves lucky you don't live in my head.
  17.  (10734.17)
    #CatScratchFever

    The new cat (new to us, she's 6 years old) isn't so frightened anymore, but has now started to lightly scratch the doors / door frames... My house has 120+ year old hand carved doors. I do not want this scratching to happen. What can I do to stop it? What's wrong with de-clawing a cat? (She's purely an indoor cat and I'm really ignorant about cats. It's my first one.) Are there things that I shouldn't do that I might otherwise do due to my ignorance?

    EDIT: I checked, declawing is awful.
  18.  (10734.18)
    #CatScratchFever

    Getting a big scratching post and spraying it with catnip or honeysuckle extract, then gently showing the cat how to scratch the post, can sometimes work. There are little glue-on caps that you can put on the cat's claws as an alternative to declawing, if the door-scratching continues.
  19.  (10734.19)
    #CatScratchFever -- Thanks, GreaseMonkey. We have a scratching post just inside one of the rooms and she usually uses it... maybe she wants a taller one though.
    If it doesn't stop PDQ I'll try the claw caps.

    FYI: This is one of the doors and the fireplace... Thankfully she hasn't shown any interest in the fireplace yet. (Both hand carved by the master carpenter that built the house back in 1892. It's one of the oldest houses in the area.)
    Dining Room Door
    Fireplace
  20.  (10734.20)
    #catscratchfever

    Declawing is generally looked down upon as it mutilates the cat's paws. Kind of like removing our fingertips. It's a painful procedure, and removes a way for the cat to protect herself should she accidentally get outside.
    Going for the claw-covers is something I'd try, along with a variety of scratching posts, or simply more of them. Some cats like some types better than others. Best of luck.

    Also: Omfg LOVELY woodwork.

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