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    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2012

    There are plenty of inexpensive good gym shoe options. I'm lucky enough that my mom lives near a New Balance factory store, but you can hunt around online for good deals on shoes. I'd recommend finding a good shoe in a store, one that is maybe 50ish bucks or less (in store) and then trying it on. Look for that shoe online later. If you happen to be near a Bob's, those have decent deals. But be prepared to drop at least $40.
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2012
    @ greasemonkey- all my experience is with soil methods but I'll make a couple of inquiries with folk around town.
    A web forum that could help is
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    @Nelzbub - cheers!
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2012
    related-ish but, I'm annoyed at the current state of my body where some things are freakishly thin and unshapely and others are flabbier that I would like. Were I rich, I would suck one part out and slap it on the other. Until that time, I am doomed to trying to start and maintain an exercise regiment. I've heard mixed things about trying to lose fat/tone up just one certain area (waist/stomach) and also like, how do I make things bigger? Like, my calves are slender like a grasshopper and I would like them shapely. I walk all day every day (probably a mile minimum), I eat relatively healthy when I do manage to shovel food inside me. Once a week I do ridiculous amounts of exercise while screenprinting but have yet to see any improvement to arm/back muscles. Is this a thing that requires trainers and the like or is there just internet research I could dig up on targeting areas? Gah, I am having an irritated month at my body and the things it is doing.
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2012

    Doing a quick answer cos I'm leaving for dinner with a friend, but when I have more time I will go into more depth about strength gaining & getting lean and whatnot.

    Okay, so, you CAN spot train muscles to make things bigger. If you target x muscle, x muscle will get bigger. However, you can't lost fat in only certain spots. So if want your abs to show or want smaller hips, you have to lose fat overall. Again, Spark People has great resources for looking up exercises. You can also do searches for specific body parts. For example my triceps are really weak - I can do regular pushups but not tricep pushups, so I recently googled exercises that specifically targeted my triceps. In short, to make things bigger, strength train those muscles. More resistance/weight = bigger muscles, while more reps of smaller weights = smaller but more defined muscles.

    Honestly, I've never used a trainer. In 2010 I was 30 pounds heavier, couldn't do ANY pushups, and was generally very out of shape. I am still overweight but pretty healthy at this point, and I am WAY stronger than I used to be. I have never used a trainer. Just be careful and make sure you pay attention to form so you don't injure yourself. The nice thing about trainers is they can spot what you're doing wrong and tell you how to fix it.
  2.  (10734.6)

    @ Glukkake - If there were a way to make your calves thicker, I'd leap at it in a heartbeat (I've always been annoyed at my disproportionately skinny calves to the curvey rest of me). I think that's what most men tend to be self concious about; having skinny calves, and it's just really hard to make them big. I dream of Crumb legs! I mean, skinny-calf people could work it out a lot, but it'd make for that tennis ball muscle thing, not a uniformly thick calf. Anyway, like Argos said, you can't lose weight in targeted areas, but you can TONE in targeted areas, and cheat at it, by strapping a TENS unit to yourself on the desired area! I've done it for my abs because I need to build core muscles but I can't really do most traditional stomach exercises with my crap spine, and I really got great results that were visibly noticed by others.
    • CommentAuthorKosmopolit
    • CommentTimeJul 15th 2012
    #gymnoob, I'm in almost the exact same situation.

    I have many of the same concerns and insecurities but abotu two weeks ago I got up the nerve to actually visit my local gym.

    I was wearing fairly old board shorts and a t-shirt and ceap-ass sneakers.

    Nobody gave me a second look and it was all far less stressful than I had anticipated.

    YMMV. of course, but I say just go for it.

    Remember too that many gyms open really long hours so you could alwasy go at 5 AM or 11.30PM when they're probably almost empty.
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJul 16th 2012

    hmm, so I was gonna put this in the Cooking thread but it's doing that whole "I don't want to be resurrected" thing.

    Anyway, I gave up dairy recently in hopes that doing so will improve my acne issues. As a result, I'm looking to other sources for calcium, and have heard that blackstrap molasses is a great source of calcium. I bought a bottle of it today, tasted it, and I really like the flavor. So now I want to know - what are some uses for blackstrap molasses? I know i can use it for chili, beans, with chicken as a glaze, with oatmeal as a sweetener, and for baking (but I'm hoping to not to only use it for baking). What are some other things I can use blackstrap molasses with? Anyone know any good recipes?
    • CommentTimeJul 16th 2012


    Make a stout!
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJul 16th 2012
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  4.  (10734.12)
    Sexual assault is sexual assault, regardless of who's doing the poking.
  5.  (10734.13)

    Bunny, that's terrible that anyone would think that's okay. Part of the problem would be that a lot of people see girls doing things like that as 'cute' whereas a guy doing it is 'creepy'. If, as you said, she's already known for this type of behaviour, maybe you'll hear from a few other people that have had the same problems with her. Now, I don't have any experience with something like this, but you would have to figure that in not too long, people won't want to work with her and therefore she'll have to find a new career.
    Or, if it's bad enough, charge her with sexual assault. Regular people might not think anything of it, but a judge sure should see why it's wrong and not just write it off as a young girl being cute.

    Totally unrelated: As always, beautiful pictures. You're a gorgeous woman.
  6.  (10734.14)
    Alright Whitechapel I have a life problem that I need your help with,

    I've been a member of a national club (which I don't know if I should name), which normally deals with community and business relations (helping out with some trash clean up, painting a day care, that sort of thing). I never thought of it as religious even when we normally have a prayer during meetings, heck we have a committee named "Human & Spiritual Values" which I took to mean as accepting (the club that is) of those with a belief and those with not, until a incident which took place tonight.

    I also need to point out that I am a proud atheist. I dislike religion for their continued crimes against humanity and getting away with it, because it's "all for the greater good". I lovingly read Hitchens, and like to read about history not for the viewpoint of "our founding fathers were Gods among men", but as "well...shit we were just making it up and hoping for the best, and goddamn it! It worked."

    A gentleman whom I'll name "Bob" is a retired pastor who is a member of our chapter. He's spoken before about Christian martyrs using a videotape from a organization he's a member of. The video to me was the equivalent of those "Kony 2012" videos, brutal, dark, made to make you feel nothing but pain, but lacking in a serious voice. Like a finger pointing and saying,"Feel bad white people! Feel bad for what you have!" I did not confront Bob about this, but I told him afterwards that he missed a very important Christian martyr. He respectfully acknowledged, and I moved on. I did it in a non confrontational manner, and I did not want him to be alarmed. I believe that was the impression he had received too.

    Flash forward to tonight: Bob speaks again, this time about a organization called "the Alliance Defense Fund" a legal group which courts itself a "conservative NAACP". He spoke of a particular incident (this is also heresay, from here on), in which a college student was asked by her professor to go out in public with a member of the opposite sex, and do things (such as hold hands, kiss, etc.) to see what it 's like to be looked at. She refused, she told him this. He filed a class 3 compliment (most serious) against her, and he dropped her from his class. She went to a faculty review board. She was refused a lawyer and her parents to be with her. She asked was very personal questions (do you believe that all gays are going to hell, some more but I cannot remember), and left crying. Her degree was withheld until she renounced. She sued with a lawyer from the fund and won. End heresay.

    The part that bothered me was afterward a lady, whom we'll name "Mona", started talked about the homosexual agenda, that gays are bad, all sorts of hateful things. Then another person joins in, then another, then another, and then our chapter President, who we'll name "Diana" joins in too. The entire time this is going, I'm feeling a mixture of emotions, mostly white hot anger, as to why these people are saying this. I've always believed in standing up for myself, but at the same time, I believe in being a gentleman and not stooping to a low level. I was angry that these people were talking about something like this. I've only been a member for less than a year, and I've never shared my beliefs with anyone. I wanted scream and shout, but chose not to, since it would spin everything into a vortex that I don't know I could escape from. I also should add that Diana is my boss at my job for the past eight years, and has never seemed bigoted to the customers or employees. She and I are a different political spectrums, but it's never been a problem and we have a very familiar easy going relationship.

    Afterward (thankfully Diana knows how to keep things on track, she kept from it being the ultimate shitstorm of shittyness) the meeting was adjourned, and everyone got up to talk to everyone. I left without a word, disappointed, tearful, and rageful. I like to think that I left a gentleman. The problem (thank you for staying for so long, there is a point) is that I'm so hurt that I want to quit. The stopper is that Diana works with me, is very emotional, and would want to know why. She would seriously want to know, and I need to know how to handle this gently and with grace.

    How do I be a gentleman and exit, and not let it fall into a void of no escape, where I damage a meaningful relationship?


    EDIT: Comicbookbunny. Do not feel guilty for standing against a wrong. A wrong is a wrong, no matter how big or how small.
      CommentAuthorcity creed
    • CommentTimeJul 18th 2012

    @comicbookbunny that sounds awful. You dealt with it firmly and with far more grace than it's reasonable to expect, more power to you.
  7.  (10734.16)

    My advice (for what it's worth) would be to be totally up front about why you're leaving but...

    a) Remain calm and unemotional. Resist the urge to start yelling, screaming or crying. Be polite (if cold) but firm.
    b) Don't get drawn into any kind of debate. Don't try and justify your position or change her views. Simply state that you're leaving, the reasons why, and that it's not open to discussion.
    c) Resist the urge to score points or get one up on her. Your aim isn't to "win" - it's to make your views clear and leave with a minimum of fuss.
    d) Make it all about you. Don't say "Your views are wrong", say "I disagree with your views". It may be a bit of a coward's option but it will allow her to internalise the issue as being something wrong with you as opposed to something wrong with her and hence be less threatening.
  8.  (10734.17)

    "...I'm so hurt that I want to quit." Just to be clear: You mean you want to quit the group, not quit your job where 'Diana' is your boss, right?

    Are there other things about the group that you don't agree with? Are you able to find something else that you enjoy that would make you unavailable on the night that the group meets? I know what it's like to want out of a group but you don't want to offend anyone due to them being friends / co-workers.
    I still haven't figured out how to do it properly...
    • CommentTimeJul 19th 2012
    #ChromeandUnkyWarren'sWebpage (aka #IronyIHazIt)

    Does anyone have an idea why this might be happening whenever I re-open Chrone?

    It's just one of a dozen tabs I have perma-open (inc. Whitechapel) spread between two windows but this cropping has started happening only to for the last month or so. It's easily fixed by opening it again in a new tab but was wondering if it might be indicative of more than a new-found shyness on Warren's part?

    It's a Windows 7 Home Edition with service pack 1 machine, btw.

      CommentAuthorcity creed
    • CommentTimeJul 19th 2012

    This is a sticky situation, I don't envy you.

    Let me preface this by saying I'm not in the habit of giving (non-culinary) advice, mainly because I worry about being responsible if it doesn't work out. Ultimately, the course through this that you chart yourself is the only one worth taking. So let's just think about it a bit instead. I apologise in advance for the length of what follows but your story strikes a chord with me somewhere, I guess my own experience has analogues.

    Ok so, I'm going to start with a couple of sets of claims based on my reading of your original post.

    1) Diana is someone you like and respect as a person. You value your professional and social relationship with her highly. You don't wish to jeopardize an important friendship with melodramatic ideological flouncing.

    2) The nature of your disagreement with the group is not a simple matter of where each of you lies on the political spectrum. (Please take a moment now to consider what the real difference is, what specifically happened in that meeting that upset you, and then unveil the spoiler below to see my guess)

    It was a profound objection to the group being used to foment hatred and fear.

    I think that if you agree the truth of these two sets of claims (reword them if you like) and focus your mind on them as reference points then you'll not go far wrong steering by them. They might conflict some, but they are not in principle irreconcilable.

    Anyone who uses an expression like "the gay agenda" in earnest has abandoned meaningful political discourse for paranoid rhetoric. They are angry and scared of something they don't understand and those emotions feel more true to them than a reality that challenges their comforting, simplistic assumptions.
    If I heard someone I love saying such a thing I'd try to honestly engage with them and show all the ways that believing in such a thing is the symptom of a terrible poison, I'd never let it go unchallenged. But pragmatically speaking, it's just not worth my time and energy to confront every single person I meet whose views I find obnoxious. It's also a Wheaton's Law violation.

    You are a strong and wise and kind person Soviet, it's in your writing, stand in that power. You can call it being gentleman-ly if that works for you, though others have similar qualities and don't frame it that way. You resist bystander effect and groupthink, you can clearly hear the voice of your own morality calling you to positive action. These are not universals, far from it. I'm sure the people of the group, and particularly Diana, see these qualities too and value them. Any negative judgement you pass on them is going to hurt. That's always worth avoiding.

    When you come to speak to Diana next, recognize openly to her that her friendship and respect is very important to you. She also has strength and wisdom and kindness if she managed to get that meeting back on track after it descended into lunacy. Let her know you see that. Share with her a bit of what you said above about how much the meeting hurt and upset you and try to explain to her why. Let her realize before you say it that you are going to be leaving the group. She might be angry or disappointed and want to negotiate, or accepting and understanding. There's no way to know until you have that conversation, so don't frame her response in advance, just show that you are listening to whatever she has to say.

    Be firm - your conscience has called this one.
    Be loving - a nourishing friendship is more important than shaming people.
    Be well.
  9.  (10734.20)
    Make buttermilk biscuits using any good recipe you can find, serve them warm, dip them in the molasses. greatest. breakfast. ever.

    also, rum, if you don't mind bending a few laws about distilling etc.