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  1.  (10758.1)
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012 edited


    Some pictures I took went up on a music site. I'm pretty proud of them, esp. this one:

    I also think that, given the super quick turnaround and the fact that I thought I was only taking photos until I showed up and found out I was writing as well, the writing wasn't too atrocious.

    The site that I posted it on is pretty notorious for having bad commenters, so I've gotten my fair share of hilarious shit so far. My favorites are currently a toss-up between "Caroline is getting some good mileage out of that journalism degree." (... the one that I don't have) and a lengthy comment pointing out what was wrong with the writing that was .... written pretty terribly. The commenter may have made one or two good points as I do tend to be a little verbose, but uh, they're almost entirely negated by the fact that s/he ... can't write.


    Mood is failing. Not singing enough. The two are probably related.


    Pre-emptive for errybody.
  2.  (10758.3)
    Three-Act Good/Bad/Applause is a beautiful thing and actively encouraged, but not compulsory for the 24 Hour Bilecannon.
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012
    I didn't get a chance to post a picture of her before the Pet thread got sunk, but my other cat, Tygra, who lives back home with my parents, is all kinds of sick and dying. She's 13 years old, I've had her since I was 10 and remember witnessing her birth - she was my then-cat's daughter. She lived with my sister and brother-in-law for a few years after she was born and then came back to my parents' when my sister got divorced, and she quickly got attached to me, and ever since she was always hanging out either on me, on my homework while I read, on my laptop keyboard, basically anywhere near me. She grew up with me.

    Anyway, about a year or two back she got this cat vaccine that apparently some cats have reactions to, and it gave her cancer where they injected it (apparently enough cats have gotten reactions that they're not giving the vaccine anymore). She developed a tumor on her right leg and she became underweight, weak, and very low-energy. She was an indoor/outdoor cat who used to spend most of her time outside, and now she's always inside because she doesn't have much energy. Anyway, the tumor got so big that her skin started bleeding, so we got it removed a couple months back, but now you can feel that it's growing back :( Her health is much worse. She can hardly jump because they took a chunk of muscle from her leg when they removed the tumor, so if she ever wants to get anywhere she has to call for someone to pick her up (she can still jump down), she's becoming incontinent, and she hallucinates. She'll be grooming or doing whatever and stop what she's doing to hiss at the air in front of her. Never did that before.

    Anyway, part of me wonders if we should put her down, but she doesn't seem like she's in pain, and she HATES the vet, so I want her to go calmly when she does. At this point it feels like there's not much we can do but just wait for her to actually go. I've been trying to make more trips home lately so I can see her now and then, she gets so happy when I go home and just wants to hang around with me. Poor girl.

    Applesauce: Hooray for Caroline's photos being published online! But booo for the crappy comments, though it does sound like they're coming from the kind of people who aren't worth paying mind to anyway.
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012
    Some notes:

    -My computer is busted.
    -I got hammered two weekends ago and sang metal in Guitar Hero.
    -I'll be in NYC for two nights in September, getting hammered.
    -My eldest cat has a shaven belly from an ultrasound. Cat skin is WEIRD
    -I am reading Dracula, and have Carmilla loaded up next.
    -My headshrinker is keeping me stable on my brain drugs.

    @DM: Fuck 'em!
    @Argos: I'm sorry to hear about your friend. She'll let you know when her time comes.
  3.  (10758.6)
    Positive: I'm going to have eye-lasers at the end of the week.
    Negative: In order to have said lasers I'm not allowed to wear my contacts, so I've been wearing scratched, wrong-prescription glasses for about a week now and my head hurts enough for me to kill people.

    @Fauxhammer: I'm not really sure what it is about cat skin that makes it weird, but I agree that it's definitely weird. Is it just that it's still sort of fuzzy to the touch even after it's been shaved flat? Or is it that it's saggy and ripply?
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012 edited
    The only things I really have to bitch about nowadays are the my earphones finally died, I've been neglecting the gym and that I've been incredibly tired all the time lately (the last one partly being the reason for the second one).

    Solutions though. Will be stepping up by getting a pair of Bose AE2s, which sound like they'll meet my sound requirements AND last through the hardships of living in my chaotic purse.The gym...I'm HOPING to go tonight, but we'll see how I am. Literally I've been falling asleep on the train for the past couple of weeks. Weight is a concern, but since I've been eating healthy and walking lots, I'm glad that I haven't gained anything. Haven't lost anything, but at least haven't gained anything.

    Apart from that, the TV experiences were a lot of fun and I look forward to this podcast that apparently wants me on. So that, I've been playing games for a bit, discovered the wonderous stupidity that is Karl Pilkington and some Atrial Fluttering has been happening lately which makes me quite happy. So it's been good!

    @argos, so sorry to hear about your cat. I hope the pain is as minimal as possible.
    @dorkmuffin ROCK ON!
    • CommentAuthorRenThing
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012
    DAS GUD - Life, overall, is going well. Family is good and healthy, the spawn is walking and heading quickly towards walking, and work is normalish.

    DA BAD - Kid is going through a phase where, randomly, he wakes up in the middle of the night screaming inconsolably. Trying to let him cry it out doens't work so well as he's gone an hour or more crying and the only thing that seems to work is "resetting" him, basically getting him up, staying up with him for at least another two hours, and then trying to put him back to bed. This is not so fun at five in the monring.

    The only other bad thing is the well of my inspiration is dry and has been for months. Which is irritating because I have a submission to an invite-only anthology due by the end of August.

    @Argos - I'm sorry about your cat. 8(
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012
    I'm at a point where I can't differentiate good from bad so here's a big bleeeeeeeeeergh:

    Real life: Just got back from Orange County the other day where I was visiting a friend. It was, overall, a nice trip, but one of the three people I went with was being a total douche a lot of the time. Where the two of us would defer to our host for whatever to do, the third would complain constantly about any change in plan that was not his own, and any idea that he had to do was defensibly what we "should" do because it was his idea, and were someones want to not adhere, they would have to defend their position. Our host was his sort-of girlfriend, so she was extra-anxious to please him, and this anxiety would cascade through her friends, so half the group would be irrationally attentive to his whims that would not consider any want but his own. This quickly became tiresome.

    But I got to give blood for my cousin's 15-month-old's operation tomorrow, which is great! I am unsure of my blood type, so I just gave a pint and let it happen. If I match, I match, and if not, some other kid gets me blood. So that's awesome.

    Surreal life: I'm beginning to feel very uncomfortable at my school. Over summer I started a job on campus, and I am realizing more and more that the administration is a wholly corporatized environment with ethics and goals dissimilar to my own, enough that I revile them. I am paying tuition to pay insanely high wages for people that are bankrupting my school. And i hate that a lot. And I might be around for the fall, which would be awesome (just want to see the world burn), if it didn't handicap my ability to get into grad school. Fuck these people.

    I've never hated the Fourth of July as much as I did this year. I was on a hill in Anaheim watching fireworks, which is awesome! You can see the fireworks in Orange, L.A., Anaheim and Disneyland--it's kind of the best place I've been for that stuff. But the only feeling I could muster was...fuck these people. I'm the least American I've ever been in my life--I am coming to a point where all this holiday means to me is shame in being an indulgent, undereducated, uncompassionate asshole. "Proud to be an American" means, to me, "I am ignorant of the greater context of American ideology & political actuality over its history." I'm not trying to start any kind of flamewar or anything, so sorry if there's offense packed into that. Nothing personal, fellows!


    @Argos - Kitty woes are tough. I feel for ya. GL.
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012
    @tedcroland, I know a lot of people who get pretty mixed emotions around the 4th, myself included. It's tricky to reconcile all the shitty parts of our country with all the good. That said, I feel like many intelligent people worldwide with some pretty complex feelings about their own country. A national holiday celebrating the birth of said company always seemed like a pretty good time to reflect upon that to me.
  4.  (10758.11)
    Steam of consciousness splurge... on bus in London, rain, more damn rain, have a bloody cold that won't go...

    Partner's dad is in hospital again, pretty ill. Don't smoke kids. It screws you up... her mum is bracing herself for him not coming out, it'll probably happen sooner rather than later, and if he makes it out this time, one time he won't. I don't want that to happen until we've had a healthy baby, sounds selfish, but I want us to be able to get through the rest of her pregnancy without anything else traumatic, as aside from the grief, they've  got other family complexities to work through which i know will be really difficult for her.  

    Wrote a lot about my eldest daughter getting bullied on the last open Mic, think the last few days have been ok for her, which is good. Just hope it stays that way... need to try and help her with social skills a bit, don't think she's all that great at getting people on side, and can be a bit abrasive. That's probably my fault...

    Mostly I'm quite happy at the moment because I have new toys... absolutely loving my new galaxy, it's the most awesome phone...and the new tablet laptop too, a lot of the annoying niggles I'd been putting up with seem to have gone, and for once not
    replaced by new ones. Have felt way better organised and way more productive over the last few weeks, still battling with diet and exercise, but the weather isn't helping there.

    @oldhat, I got a set of shure se315s a few weeks back, awesome earphones...

    @Argos - hugs, sorry about the cat
  5.  (10758.12)
    A national holiday celebrating the birth of said company always seemed like a pretty good time to reflect upon that to me.
    (emphasis mine)

    @dorkmuffin's presumably Freudian slip pretty much sums up my cheif complaint not just with the good ol' USofmotherfuckingA, but western (and spreading) society in general. So Ted, you're not alone in your less than full throated enthusiasm by a long shot.

    That said, I'm integrating into the N.W.O. quite nicely and have very little bile to spit. Got up at 5 am and was still 5 minutes late for my 8 am meeting. Bugger. I guess I get up a bit earlier tomorrow and Thursday. I'll probably only get to see my daughter for about an hour or so at bed time because of these meetings and my suck ass commute. That said, I normally work from home when she's there, so I should STFU. Also, I have her until Saturday evening instead of the usual Thursday, so I will get to spend some quality time with her this week.

    It appears I've blown the three act format. Call me avaunt garde or something. Hugs most vile or bile-splatter most lovingly to the lot of you!
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012
    Worked from 5am to 2:40pm today. Dead tired. Felt like I was trying to keep my head above water, I was so busy. We have a negative banking balance til tomorrow night. I'm way behind on getting all the financial aid stuff I have to do for school done. The apartment keeps getting messier and messier and it takes all my willpower some days just to get through part of the dishes. The cat has fleas now, and they seem to bite me more than they bite him.

    So, I'm not in a great state right now.

    At least the fella and I are both off work tomorrow, and we can't afford to leave the house, so maybe we'll get some stuff done.

    @Argos-*hug* It's tough seeing age and sickness take its toll; I hope she goes peacefully, and I hope she understands how much you care about her.
    • CommentTimeJul 10th 2012
    @Tedcroland - Where is home usually? I actually live in Anaheim, though I've been in LA for most of the past month and change to run my play. Spent the 4th at my sister's in Orange. From her back veranda we watched fireworks from Disneyland and the Angel's Stadium. And yeah, mixed feelings. Although I tend to feel them much more on days associated with military stuff (Veteran's & Memorial)... it would take forever to get through it all, but the short version is there are a lot of vets in my family, including my brothers and I feel that a lot of the stuff we've asked our military to do has been no better than bullying.

    Anyhow... bilecannon. I'm so relaxed right now it's hard to think of what to put my back against and push from. We closed our show, Roadkill Confidential on Sunday. There are a couple of follow up things to take care of, including striking the set and the wrap party but it's really all over now. With few exceptions no one is entitled to my time any more. No one can ask me to do stupid shit for them anymore. No one can get cross with me when someone else doesn't give them the respect they think they deserve...

    Of course this means I'm well and truly unemployed. I have nothing on the docket. At all. I'm trying to get it together, to sit and articulate the list of crap I want to get done with my life, immediately and between now and kicking the bucket. I love doing theatre, do I want to do more? Should I try to grow my abilities then (understand that's time & money) or keep it on the side while improving elsewhere? I want to get back on track with voice work - not even want to, must. And the Japanese...? where did that end up.

    So...yeah. Trying to find my way back to shore, get something solid under my feet. Not sure how to begin, much less proceed. *sigh* freelancing.
  6.  (10758.15)
    I'm kind of in a hate hate relationship with my life right now. Still living in Phoenix and passionately hate everything about this city. A few weeks ago I got kind of drunk and allowed an incredibly stupid thing to mostly happen. A result of that is that I kind of freaked out and the following friday drove all through the night back to California (and the night drive from Phoenix to LA is even more boring than the daytime drive, amazingly) and slept in my car at the beach, swam in the ocean the next morning, ate proper seafood for lunch, went to a limited release movie, and then a friend had a spare ticket to Thrilling Adventure Hour so I got to see that. All of this was about 1000 times more awesome stuff done in a less than 24 hour period than I do in six months in Phoenix, but then I had to come back. So I hate Phoenix even more.

    Work is frustrating as hell because the departmental management doesn't understand just how disadvantaged we are by being so far away from the main corporate office in California. I started a dialogue with the new VP about it, and he seemed surprisingly receptive, but my department is pretty low on the priority list of shit he has to deal with right now, so I don't know if he'll ask around the other departments for their opinions about bringing us back (which I'm pretty sure they're mostly for the idea) or ever come back to the conversation.

    I'm tempted to jump ship and move back home now that the lease on my apartment is up, but I'd have to secure a new job at another company, and that means learning a new company culture and going through the whole process of people figuring out my in person sense of humour and to leave me alone and let me work because I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, DAMMIT. And that's all a pain in the ass. And frankly I'm kind of tired of working in QA and would like to get more involved as a producer or in creative or something. I really missed a trick by not applying for an assistant creative producer position last year.
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2012 edited
    I am moving to a new state, with my mother. I don't have a job lined up. I'm worried that the people I'm moving in with are secretly horrible, because I've only ever spoken on the phone. And it's going to be rough, because I am not a nice person, even I don't like myself, so I have to be super extra kind and abiding to compensate for my inevitable terribleness. And mom is getting nuttier and nuttier, and I have to be extra sane to keep her in check. And I'm a little worried that this isn't going to work out and that I might get super depressed and do stupid things. my brain isruled by fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

    worst of all, i'm whining about my problems on the internet. it's helping a little..but what if it gets to be a habit?