I love the "somehow got stuck in his intestines". Unless the dude swallowed it I'm pretty sure there's only one way that could've gone. Maybe he gave the whole "I slipped and fell on it!" excuse.
THERE'S A POINT WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STOP PUSHING, DUDE!
@RenThing You'll notice he didn't give any excuse : It is clearly stated that he "inserted it into his body to enhance sexual pleasure". You've gotta respect that kind of honesty, even if it took him 5 days to go to the ER. Probably the 5 longest days of his life.
I suppose there'll always be some part of you thinking, "It'll come out soon. Stuff comes out that way all the time, why not this? I'll wait another hour."