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Main Junction: OPEN MIC -- the Three Act Speakeasy Thread (Closes Nov 18th)

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      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeNov 8th 2012
     (10874.1)
    Peeeugh!: I feel like I have been accosted by the least-appealing version of The Devil Himself, and that he has had his way with me via my belly button. His putrid, fiery, spunk-disease has collected around each of my joints, and threatens to fester there for days, at least.

    I also have the flu. These things may or may not be related.

    Further bulletins as events warrant.

    Wheeee!: I taught some friends from work how to brew last night, and ended up making a spiced apple brown ale which has already undergone fermentation. Woke up this morning to the wonderful sound of "bloob, blup, bleep!" coming from the kitchen.

    'Eeeeeeeey!: The flu is keeping me from forming any more coherent sentences, so there's this: You all are still the coolest gang of bastards on the internet, and I am proud to know all of you. Yeah, even you.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.2)
    .... wow.

    not a good day

    ... my mom passed away today. Quite suddenly.

    My dad's in bits. So am I but ...

    I dunno.

    not a good day.
  3.  (10874.3)
    @hex - that's awful news. I'm very sorry for your loss.
  4.  (10874.4)
    my mom passed away today. Quite suddenly.

    Wow, sorry to hear that, Patrick. You have my sincere condolences, and Catherine sends hers as well.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchiaslut
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.5)
    Oh man. My condolences to you and your family.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.6)
    Oh, shit, Hex... I'm sorry to hear that, man.
    •  
      CommentAuthortaphead
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.7)
    Ooof. Condolences, Hex. Take care.
  8.  (10874.8)
    @Mr Hex: Woah. I am so sorry to hear it.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.9)
    So she loved animals. So if you wanna donate something to take care of animals who can't take care of themselves, then do that. Don't send flowers. I appreciate your best wishes. Doing what I can, trying to be strong, like she taught me. SHE TAUGHT ME WELL. AMAZING woman. You all woulda loved her. (Believe me, she was of our tribe.) Haven't properly cried yet but when I do, it'll be worse than circa the last time she had to change my pants for me.

    I drove my sister home from the hospital, across town. (On a scant 3 hours sleep and a slice of toast and a NUCLEAR EXPLOSION.) While we didn't do the Full-On Chuckles the Clown, there was much (?! Not THAT much) mordant laughter, black humour, etc. When we passed by Mount Pleasant Cemetery, my sister waved at all our relatives already there interred and implied to their long-dead souls that they'd soon have company. It broke the moment. I also made my dad laugh and may be well on the way to cutting my useless brother out of the will. His comment? (My brother's, natch.) "I am sorry for your loss." WHATTA CUNT. Didn't I say? DIDN'T I JUST SAY?

    Anyway. Tough to lose a parent. IT KILLS YOU A BIT WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR MOTHER.
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.10)
    My condolences to you and your family, Hex. I'm so sorry. There really aren't words for how unfair that is.
    • CommentAuthorFishelle
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.11)
    Oh man, Hex. I'm so sorry to hear that.
    • CommentAuthorallana
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.12)
    Patrick, I'm so sorry. Tough to lose a parent.
    I'm around this weekend. If you need anything, let me know. (Otherwise I'll pressure you for drinks in December.)
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.13)
    @ allana - HOW ABOUT LOTS OF SEX? NO? Bad time, I understand.

    ... might make ME feel better. (Nudge, Nudge)

    Oh, COME ON! If YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT DEATH, YOU'RE TOTALLY DOING IT WRONG!
    • CommentAuthorallana
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.14)
    You don't even want to know how bad our jokes got after my dad died. Morbidity is the only way. Though bereavement sex was pretty good, too, if I recall... (tears = lube amiriteguise)
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.15)
    When my ex-girlfriend's dad died (THE WOMAN I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED AND DONE ALL THAT CRAZY CRAP WITH .... but DIDN'T), MAN, I was dancin' like Comedy Bojangles,takin' people's minds off SHIT. Felt GOOD, I got to do that for me own dad, if only for a few minutes, he laughed. LAUGHED. WITH ME, rather than AT me.

    11:35.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.16)
    AND I SWEAR TO JESUS CHRIST ON THE CROSS, THE VERY NEXT PERSON WHO TRIES TO MAKE SOME KIND OF JOKE TO ME WILL DIE IN A WAY THAT WILL MAKE WARREN ELLIS' BALLS SHRIVEL UP IN ABSOLUTE FEAR. I AM SO NOT JOKING , YOU WOULD REPORT ME TO THE AUTHORITY IF YOU COULD SEE HOW ROCK-SERIOUS AND DIAMOND-COVEREDHARD I AM.

    Si? LOOKIN' AT YOU, MATE. Warren woulda chimed in HOURS AGO, busy as he always was. Thirty cents on the dollar? I'M WORTH MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Ariana? You move on or what?

    ... fuck alla ye's. I'M DRUNK.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2012
     (10874.17)
    ... I don't get some kind of gentle answer from the Management before I finally crawl into the fetal position and cry myself to sleep, then this place is dead to me. NOT THE PEOPLE, just the place.
    •  
      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeNov 10th 2012
     (10874.18)
    Aawww I'm awful terrible at gallows humor, though I laugh my ass off at it...

    Well...my night was awesome till I read this and I now I feel like shit for having a good time. But you know what Hex? I'm glad you're here. And so I'm glad of your mom being your mom. Because she Did It Right. With you at least. You'r bro...well there's one in every family, give or take.

    Also I'm still tipsy from our post opening night bourbathon. nom.
    •  
      CommentAuthortexture
    • CommentTimeNov 10th 2012
     (10874.19)
    Ah shit, mister hex, so sorry for your loss.
  20.  (10874.20)
    Hex....
    Deepest condolences my friend.
    I'm around (on line or in person) if you need anything,

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