Not signed in (Sign In)
  1.  (10874.141)
    Sunday is open for me at the moment.
    •  
      CommentAuthorallana
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2012
     (10874.142)
    I'll be heading home on Saturday, most likely, but I can do Friday night.
  2.  (10874.143)
    I'm going to a Christmas concert Friday, can't make it then.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2012
     (10874.144)
    BOXING DAY. fun ala Etobique, should thou be so inclined. (BRING LIQUOR.)

    (I'll make sure there's lots here but it's allus good to have MOAR.)
    •  
      CommentAuthorPeter Kelly
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2012 edited
     (10874.145)
    HOT BOXing day you mean!
    Been celebrating that for a couple of years now
    (maybe we should start a new thread...to sort out where/when/if we are drinking)

    here

    Apologies for derailing this thread....
    •  
      CommentAuthorVornaskotti
    • CommentTimeDec 20th 2012 edited
     (10874.146)
    Yay:

    This autumn has sorely tested my limits: I've been broke enough not to be able to buy food at times, so stressed and overworked my memory's been blanking out and I've been sort of a high-functionin narcoleptic, dozing off whenever there hasn't been anything to do for a minute, and the future has looked more or less vague and uncertain, since my work ends... tomorrow, actually, and I had nothing in store incomewise for next year. And here comes the awesome part - I just got a phonecall from a certain large entertainment company in Finland known for their irate avians, the last company I had a work application in, and they offered me work. Very interesting work that looks like a perfect match for my skillset, pays nicely and is in a place where a lot of people I know work in and like it. They were even cool with my AESD dive school eating away some weeks during the year. I got the phone call on my way to the office to finish my second-to-last work day here, and the feeling of a thousand tons of insane stress, tension and uncertainty falling off my shoulders was almost physical. The light in the end of the tunnel was indeed a disco ball, not a train.

    Things are going great otherwise. I've met some great new people and gotten to know old friends and acquaintances better. This includes a couple of new female friends, one of whom is great company of bio and science geekery, the other is your classic bad girl. I've had a blast chatting with them, watching movies, talking genetics and biochemistry, scream-singing Finnish music in the morning hours powered by cheap booze and pure weird, going to watch roller derby and hooting like baboons... I've had fascinating conversations with a third new pal who's been traveling all over the world with her camera, making documentaries, getting shot at, getting accidentally married and all in all having adventures which are hard to believe right up until she shows you the scars. Fascinating people, great company.

    Been also asked out for a date by couple of ladies. I love women who take initiative like that, I'm not much for coy passivity. Might be that there's a geocaching or urban exploration themed date scheduled for the Christmas holidays.

    EDIT: ...aaaand I got invited to a date to a high-end jazz/gospel concert for free, and a course mate in the dive school is giving me a lab scale microscope for the price of a few beers. This is not a bad day.

    Nay

    I'm more or less a self-contained unit and I don't really need that much social contact, I just tend to enjoy it. Although life has been active, socially too, a few times this year coming to the empty and cold as fuck apartment has gotten into me. I'm not rushing into moving in with anyone, I'm having a long hard think if I'll even want to live with someone for a long time. Nevertheless, when the week or the whole month has been a massive crapfest through and through, having the potential to come home to someone and fall asleep curled together, or have someone there when the stress makes you snap awake heart racing like hell in the morning hours, was something that would've been welcome. Looks like I'll be spending the Christmas alone at home, which sounds like a bit of a bummer, especially since it looks like I can't really afford proper foods or anything. Noodles from a cup it is, then. Well, I have Netflix, Spec Ops: The Line and Dishonored, plus my novel to finish, so I think I can keep myself entertained.

    You

    Uh, so much crap going on with people, but good stuff too.

    @flecky, 90 days, fuck yeah - keep those milestones coming and zoom past them like a motherfucker!

    @trini, @oldhat, @JP and others - I'm trying to radiate a bit of this excess good mojo I'm experiencing now to your direction! Things can and will take a turn for the good again, sooner or later. Also the yay-sides were great to read, people have so much fun stuff going on. Like the beer book, yay to that, for example!
  3.  (10874.147)
    @littlepurplegoth

    Thanks - I think things have turned the corner thank god - we got some really good support in the end from the hospital breastfeeding advisor, and it's slowly getting back to how it should be, she's putting on weight and everybody's calming down several notches. Wouldn't have happened had they done the tongue tie at birth, like they do up the road in Chichester, instead of sending us home, telling us there was a 6 week wait to have it done on the NHS and letting us pay £95 to have it done privately leading to the ensuing problems... probably going to complain to the hospital trust about that...

    @roadscum - sorry- that's a really sad thing to happen and a harsh way to find out.
    • CommentAuthorroadscum
    • CommentTimeDec 23rd 2012
     (10874.148)
    Well, it's a funny old world.

    On Tuesday morning, returning from a night delivery run, an 18 tonne Scania, driven by a bloke i knew with the son of another bloke i knew sitting beside him, hit a bridge support on the M25. The driver, still belted into his seat, was ejected through the windscreen, the driver's mate was knocked unconscious. On regaining consciousness, the driver's mate, badly shaken and concussed, climbed down onto the roadway and found the remains of the driver beneath the cab. At this time the driver was still alive.
    The driver's mate is currently hospitalised with minor physical injuries and rather more severe psychological ones - it's one thing to see this kind of thing in the pages of a comic, another thing entirely to see it happen to the bloke who's sitting next to you. Kay, the driver had a wife and two kids, i didn't know him that well, just a bloke i worked with, a really nice guy, someone i'd chat to about crap routes and difficult drops while we waited to pick up our paperwork in the traffic office. He's dead. Horribly dead.
    Life goes on, the lorries go out, stuff gets delivered and collected, they come back in. There are awkward silences and things no one wants to talk about. There is a tin on the counter in the traffic office with a slit in the lid and 'Kay' written on a paper label stuck on the side.
    Even in jobs where you might expect that kind of thing, the armed forces, the police, losing a comrade is painful, but you know it comes with the job. When your job is delivering clothes to girlie dress shops it's fucking unbearable.
    Christmas is coming, everyone wants to have a good time, peace and joy and all that. Shit happens, we try very hard not to think about it. That is easier said than done.

    Everyone: if there's something you want to do, do it, don't leave it to tomorrow, sometimes tomorrow never comes.

    I am upset, i hope you can understand, but i am still breathing and that is good, that is very good indeed and i am grateful for it and the chances that offers me.

    Right, i'm going to go away now and try my very hardest to have the best damn Christmas i can, something i hope the rest of you do too.

    And Janos, that video; ha bloody ha.
  4.  (10874.149)
    Argh: It's fucking hot. 30+. I can't sleep and the pills tend to stop working when that happens. I'm picking fights on the Internet again. I feel like Hell. Starting an elimination diet in the new year to try and figure out what the hell is causing all these miscellaneous symptoms. Trying to give up caffeine. Failing badly. Like, a pint of espresso for breakfast badly. Bus engine needs a full rebuild - the cam noise is pretty extreme now and I'm worried that if I take it up to the farm this summer I'm going to wind up chucking the cam gear through the case. My mother-in-law rolled her car, and is alive but very frail and sore. She will need a lot of assistance the next few months and is going to have to stay with us over Xmas.

    Well: My youngest made this, with only a very, very small amount of advice and some camera-holding from me. He's six. I'm totally blown away. Also, I'm still off the piss. 10 months.

    Yo:

    @Roadscum

    So sorry to hear it mate. It's an awful thing to have happened. Throwing a sort of informal office wake - just hang around after work for snacks and raise a glass to the dead - that sort of thing can help clear the air and let people move on. I'm pretty horribly experienced with shit like that, so I can tell you it does help a bit. Nothing helps a lot though, only time. And I'm pretty astounded to even hear of another guy called Kay, there just aren't that many of us.

    @Flecky

    Fucking awesome brother! Power on!

    @all y'all: Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeDec 24th 2012
     (10874.150)
    Just sayin', it December Whatever.

    NO TROUBLE AT ALL!

    I APPARENTLY HAVE FANS. (WHO knew?)

    SOME people like me. ME! I KNOW, RIGHT?! Who in their right mind would EVER like ME? NOBODY I KNOW, but apparently, I'M WRONG. Which is a nice feeling, strangely.

    Some of those fans are actually related to me. OTHERS ARE NOT and live in far-flung places. FERSLUGGINER.

    FIFTY TONS OF BLACK TERROR

    Fuck, I hate Christmas. I hate being myself. I HATE IT HERE. Now I have an idea how Spider Jerusalem or Desolation Jones feels. IT AIN'T "good".

    I BRUNG PRESSIES!

    @flecky - for you, a magic whistle. Blow it whenever ya need strength, of which you already have in spades, mate.
    @roadscum - um. Kind words? I'm so sorry. Me and Death got to know each other this year. Your situation is perhaps worse. Hug your kids or somebody.
    @EVERYONE - I know it may be a bit de trops to wish you all a Happy Jesus Day but what the fuck.
    •  
      CommentAuthorVornaskotti
    • CommentTimeDec 24th 2012 edited
     (10874.151)
    @roadscum: Ah oh shit man - and speak of a poor choice of video considering what happened :/ What I heard from this event in the video was that nobody got hurt and that it was a miracle save, but you know, I think I'm just gonna take that down now :/
    •  
      CommentAuthorglukkake
    • CommentTimeDec 26th 2012
     (10874.152)
    The Boos:
    Bought a fancy dress for way too much money and am living in shame/regret over it. Lots of loathing that that money could have gone to a number of better people/projects/things. Am trying to figure out a way to sell it for at least some money back to make amends. I have a shopping problem, I think.
    To continue on the death vector, I spent earlier this month at a funeral for my aunt. It was weird, because she was the closest (location) relative but we hadn't spent any time over the past few years. Me just being selfish with time/space. Seeing my distance with her family during the funeral compacted with my trip to the rest of the family in Peru last month and now just has me reconsidering my self-imposed isolation and inability to relate to humans in general. Selfish girl that I am, still can't figure out a way to get back in with the family.

    Also I am fucking sick again.

    The Yays:
    Xmas with my immediate family was good, if unfortunately brief thanks to sickness coma. My favourite gift was a gift to myself, where I had magnets installed into my finger tips. One big one on my left ring finger for cool party tricks, one smaller one in my right finger for sensitivity and to not get in the way of using my hand. Right now they're both bandaged up and I'm typing with only one or two fingers at a time and picking things up with three fingers like a t-rex.

    Also, my very good friend is taking me to Reyjkavic in late Jan/early Feb. I'm trying now to convince everyone else to hop a flight (apparently tickets were relatively cheap).


    @roadscum - I'm so, so sorry about your loss. That's horrible. I hope your holiday was spent with lots of people loving each other.

    @mister hex - and you as well. Been following your month and it's heart breaking. Hoping things start getting on the up for you!
    •  
      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeDec 26th 2012
     (10874.153)
    yokata:
    Christmas day was so pleasant at the house with the family it was almost confusing. By the end of the very sweet day I was almost restless because there was nothing to fight against. Parents got along, sis and BiL stowed their sniping, niece was overjoyed with her presents, food was tasty, sugar was flowing...well hell it was almost exactly what the movies said we should get, including the phone call from OB on a horrid line from jail. I feel like I spent too much cash, but that's par for the course for the season, right? It went into giving stuff and not sitting back like a bum and just receiving, and also bringing in good food and wine to share. It isn't where I want to be, but somehow it works.

    dame:
    But it isn't where I want to be. And I can fool the outsides and make the show look like it was intended that way. But I know the show that is in my head and my life doesn't look anything like it. And that discrepancy sends me to bed for wayyy longer than necessary. Have I ever ranted here about how much I hate sleep? I really hate sleep. I'll skip the rant, but just remind that sleep gets in my way, demands way too much of my life and has this whole obnoxious system for tricking me into seeking even more. Fuck sleep. I need to work. But I never get to it. Instead, today for example, I just keep sleeping. I wake up and realize there is work to be done but some how laying back down and snoozing for a few more hours is what I end up doing. Ugh.

    Like making a show of ordering salad when out with people, but sneaking cheeseburgers in private, the body won't be fooled. I can get along on the face of things, but in private everything is a mess and getting messier. And getting up and doing something about is proving more difficult every day.

    ganbate:
    @roadscum - I'm sorry you have to go through this, and sorry as well for the man's family. *hug* I have been trying to keep in mind the "don't wait until tomorrow." It's really important, isn't it? What else is there, though? Living your life and being a boon to others, that's really it.
    @glukkake - You sure the dress won't have other uses? There is some kind of worth in having a frock that you know _works_ even though I have friends who feel that dressing up is just for getting men to look at you, I don't buy it. But...well if you don't want it in your closet then I hope you get a good price for it. Travel safe to Iceland and say hi to Bob for all of us!
    • CommentAuthorDarkest
    • CommentTimeDec 27th 2012
     (10874.154)
    I am returned. Who'd of thought the work I do would keep me away from here.

    Down:

    Not much bad to report right now, for once.

    UP:

    Niche Comics is a year old, have been doing very well selling things on Amazon, head is in a good place, social stuff is happening, bands I want to see are playing locally.

    Side to side:

    Still catching up with goings on around here so just a generic "Stay strong" for now.
  5.  (10874.155)
    Flecky - you are awesome, mate!

    Vornaskotti - I had a similar Christmas Day. I was supposed to trek into NJ and have dinner with a friend, but I have had the terrible sickness that's infecting everyone these days, and I couldn't risk infecting my friend's sickly mum. However, being that my Christmases are generally terrible, it was quite nice to just quietly hang out at home, even if I didn't really have any food (aside from the leftovers I'd splurged the last of my money on for my birthday the night before).

    Glukkake: I've been wondering similar things with my family, though given the conservative politics of most of them, I'm not sure how much I really care.

    OdaElisabeth - I got yer caaaaard!


    HOORAY!

    I patched things up with my fellow, making him understand how easily smothered and scared off I am. Immediately, with that small shift (and probably giving me a chance to miss him), upon rekindling things, everything has been insanely awesome and extra sexy, and I immediately began to feel that emotional tug I felt was missing before. Scary, to say the least, but unable to pull away. Also, the best and coolest birthday present I ever got. swoooooon!

    GODDAMMIT, I'm CURSED:

    TMI: Well, during a recent checkup, there's been a questionable test result. Now we both have to go and get extra special stuff done, and NOOOO sex til we figure it all out. It's like fucking torture. Literally.

    For years of testing I've been all happy about testing clear and free. The thing is....

    Even if you have a standard screening for sexually transmitted diseases, it may not include HSV unless you specifically ask.

    Remember, however, that HSV-1 is a very common virus and there is an 80 percent probability that you will test positive for it. If you are a sexually active adult who has had multiple partners, there is a 20 percent probability that you will test positive for HSV-2.


    At least we are both being supportive of one another through all this, and being a team in getting to the bottom of it, angry at the way the medical community handles this crap. Not really the way I wanted to bring in the new year.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2013
     (10874.156)
    'Lo, All. Wally Balou here, with our patented Man In The Street Interviews. Excuse me, sir? LOOK, JUST TAKE MY WALLET! DON'T HURT ME! aND DON'T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON HER~

    First? Happy New Year to all concerned.

    Second? Been not bad. Got thru xmas. Not FUN but not too bad. Got thru. My muy macho mustachio'd Domestic Goddesshood helped, a bit. What can I say? I'm Sex On Legs, Unless I'm Riding My Bike.

    Got FANS. STILL got fans. WHO KNEW? (Um. I did, sir.) [Very good, corporal. Pipe down now, the grown-ups are talking].

    Have PROJECTS. Viable ones! Not just lobbing potatoes over the bloody horizon. Terribly excited at the sheer possibilities.

    Third? DOES ANYONE ELSE MISS WARREN? WHY DOES HE HATE US? I'll cut my pinkie off, given half a chance. Just to prove my devotion.

    Yoked to a stove. No time to see MY FRIENDS. Miss them.

    OH WELL.

    @flecky - our Sacred Friend. Bless you in all you do. You're a good'un.
    @rachael - noice on the sexy bits. Too bad about the sexy bits. Don't worry, sexy bits have a way of working things out.
    @everyone else - yes, well. Do I really have to say it? MUCH LOVE AND ALL PEACE to each of you.
    • CommentAuthorroadscum
    • CommentTimeJan 1st 2013 edited
     (10874.157)
    Evening all,

    Bad:

    Well i've told you the worst bit, doesn't really get much nastier than that, all other grumbles of mine pale into insignificance before that one. Sort of puts things into perspective. Like a steel toe cap to the head. I was a little shocked at how hard it hit me, i suspect it provided a conduit for the myriad other more minor but irritating niggles to flood out and wash me away.

    Good:

    They didn't. I'm still here, breathing, and annoying taxi drivers and traffic wardens. No bin is safe!
    Christmas went better than i could have imagined, as did KK's brother in law's birthday do afterwards (they usually get on so well that survival is i possible in the deepest of blast proof bunkers). New year was quiet but good in a 'getting a bit old for all this, pass the Glenmorangie' sort of way, and today was spent hunting old Tudor gatehouses out in the wilds of the Essex marshes with KK and my new camera which i am liking a lot. Finished the day with a fine meal in a fine country pub, dropped KK off back at hers and spent the evening drinking and chewing the fat with my mate El Tone via the modern marvel of skype, using two empty cocoa tins and a bit of string for a broadband connection. Oh and i told work to go away and play with the beasts of the field when they phoned with a job yesterday. Had the contract company on the phone before i'd even finished and they begged, they actually begged. Told 'em to go away too. Bloody hell! I have learned to say NO. Petty i know, but treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. It's nice to be popular. And have a week or two's money in the bank. Smug fat bastard? Yeah. But it's good to enjoy the small pleasures when they land in your lap.

    Ladders and life-rafts:

    Janos; thanks. I was rather upset and perhaps a bit less rational than usual, thanks for bearing with me, it helped, it really did.

    Badbear; Hang on in there kiddo! I know NOTHING, but i strongly suspect that the more seriously one takes a disorder, the more serious it becomes. I'd love to be clever enough to offer worthwhile advice. I'm not, the best i can say is just keep going, all things pass eventually. Be strong!

    Roo; I do so wish i had the chance to sit down and explain a few well established medical facts to your parents. I hope they manage to learn how to understand what you're going through, i hope you manage to endure it and come through in one piece and stronger than you were before.

    Rachael; Hurrah on your getting back with your gentleman friend, all sounds very good to me. I'm hoping that the test thing turns out to be a false alarm, but even if it isn't, HSV need not be a serious thing. It's about time you had some serious good stuff in your life, i'm hoping this fellow of yours is it, i really am.

    Hex; you have fans? Of course you have fans! You are one singular gentleman. And you can cook, which is good. I am hoping the excitement of possibilities turns into the satisfaction of achievement - go for it sunshine!

    Flecky; hang on in there sunshine! Beat boredom with books! Libraries are your friend! You don't need to be taught to learn! Whatever else happens, keep on going!

    Everyone else; you are strange, you are wonderful, you are whatever you are, i'm glad you're here and i wish you well, all of you.

    Right, i'm drunk, i wasn't when i started but i am now. I really must learn to type faster.

    Goodnight.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeJan 4th 2013 edited
     (10874.158)
    OH, FUCK YOU:

    - Had a photo gig that went well (in which I got paid and the client picked photos that he liked) but felt...off. This was a shoot where there was no pre-meeting (something I insist on having) to get to know what a client is after and the whole time throughout the shoot he gave a very disappointed feel to it. In the end I presented him with over 20 pictures, one of them being one of the best portraits I think I've taken, but he picked my three least favourite to use for his current thing going on and made a point of saying he doesn't want to keep the remaining photos on file. It's a mix of "was I just not good?" and "the customer is always right". I feel like I went wrong somewhere, but the client is remaining shtum and I'm done my business. Ah well.

    - Realized that I either have to go to bed dead exhausted for the next little while otherwise my idle thoughts lead to depressing things and leave me staying up until 4am crying or some other horrible thing. Miss POS. Bah.

    - Weight. Hahahaha. Yeah.

    OH HEY, A NICE CUPPA:

    - Despite the thing with the photo job I DID get paid and am saving most of the money...though I did by a few things. Namely a personal item that I've had my eye on for over a month and a beer kit of the White House Honey Porter.

    - On the course of losing the weight. Just walked 15km (about 10 miles) as a matter of fact...

    - Feeling good about this year.

    BARTENDER, ONE FOR MY FRIEND HERE:

    Roadscum, Keep that chin up, man.

    Rachael, Glad you two sorted things out, though not so glad about the std stuff. Hope things turn out for the better.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2013
     (10874.159)
    I'LL CUT YOU, MAN!

    Have had NO TIME to see my friends. None. Zero. Nada, not a sausage. Bugger all. I'm stuck in a frozen suburb that only rarely receives transit service and I drink FAAARR TOO MUCH to bother with driving a car.

    Oh, yeah. DRINKING. I have been drinking WAY TOO MUCH, even for me. Currently, there are seven full cases of empties to be returned and they're piling up like corpes on the Choisin river. 2013 really shouldn't be another year-long bender. The way every year since 2001's been. (After 9/11, I started drinking like a godd-damn pro and have seen no credible reason to stop.) I gotta knock the Bukowski shit on the head.

    Work is shitty, shittier all the time. I got a five cent raise. Five cents. Yeah.

    Had a number of stupid rows with my dad. About Native Policy. About my drinking. About other things, stupid things. And yet, dinner better be on the table! This alternates between him telling me how he never woulda made it without me, how great I am, how lonely he is, how the doctors Won't Help Him, (yeah, his health's iffy. Just what I need.). I'm yoked to a stove in a shitty suburb, drinking my life away.

    HEY, MAN. BE COOL.

    Am closer now than I have been recently to enjoying the company of a naked woman. I've only seen her clothed thus far but from what I can tell, she looks pretty good clothed. And she seems quite amenable to the whole unclothed thing. We'll see, watch this space etc. But she's really cool and smart and I kinda think she's got money. And she's my age and a widow. Who knows, ladies, I may soon be off the market.

    Writing proceeds. I SET UP MY OFFICE. Gonna see some SERIOUS SORCERY NOW, sunshine. Even the cat likes it.

    My aforementioned dad ain't all bad. And he's practically fallen in love with my buddy who comes over to drink. (My buddy's a more "reg'lar guy" than me and can engage the Old Man in ways I can't or won't. So the Hockey Lockout or business or stuff I laugh at, they discuss. And it's helping my dad.

    Also, yesterday, THIS HAPPENED - Fish on Friday (My dad's catholic, I figure "what the hell, it's simple".). So I do my pre-heat, get everything ready, place the fillets - five of them, important - on the baking tray and pop in oven. (Sweet potato fries, too.) Set my timer. 12 min a side. Timer works and goes off - I turn the fish - onetwothreefourfive - back in oven. (Give the fries a shake, reset timer, good to go.) I go back to flirt on the computer for five minutes, have a smoke, should be done, I attend. I was right, timer goes off, get the veg ready, the Sweet Potato fries, get the fish - there are only four of them. But there were five? I was sure, certain, ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE there were five. Where'd the other one go? I didn't drop it; I can count to FIVE and have done since I were a wee lad; there's only four. Dad didn't eat it, he's dozing on the couch. There's no one else in the house, the doors are all locked. The cat, for all his prowess, hardly reached into a 450 degree oven for a snack. So where'd it go? Not in the oven. Not on the floor. Where'd it go? (I guarantee every word of this is accurrate and true.I have no reason to lie.)
    You tell me, man.

    SOLID - Oldhat, I miss ya so. I'd hug ya but you'd punch me.
    ROAD - take care of yourself.
    Jon Carpenter - Good lad, good dad.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFishelle
    • CommentTimeJan 5th 2013
     (10874.160)
    So, yesterday I was told that I should quit making art about the boy that broke my heart because it was getting "unhealthy and creepy". I've been trying really really hard with the art I've been making and with everything else to be understanding and kind. I've been making a real effort to avoid being vindictive or hurtful like I was with the last boy that broke my heart. But maybe just making things about him, even things that don't put him in any sort of bad light at all, is hurtful too. And I just don't know what to do about that.

    Also, I sort of had a bit of a breakdown about feeling obligated to love other people more than they loved me because I had to go to a birthday thing for my niece the last weekend of my break that was mostly spent at my parents house, after only the one sibling that I live with made any sort of effort to attend my big art show. It's really sort of dumb, and I expected it. But man. Would've been nice if my family cared at all about the things that are really big and important in my life. Even if it does mean walking through a gallery with a bunch of paintings of naked men and LGTB art. And it's not like going to a birthday party for my niece was bad. I just feel like I don't get a choice in little things like that, and I don't have it in me to not give others a choice when it comes to anything in my life, no matter how important.

    And fucking school starts up again on monday. I'm not ready for that. At least I don't have to worry about keeping a scholarship this time. I could get C's and still graduate. I probably won't, though. I'll bust my ass and exhaust myself like I always do.

    Looking on the bright side of life, I got homemade ice cream today.
    Also, my other niece who's birthday is at a different time this month, came (along with her family, of course) to visit for the holidays. She insisted on sharing a room with me, and wriggling into my bed to wake me every morning, even though it's been almost half her life (2 years) since I saw her last. She said she loved me more than her stuffed horse, and that I was her favorite. I don't think I could adore anyone more than that kid. I'm so glad I got to spend that time with my sister's family. It's nice to be able to love someone and have them love me back, especially so innocently and wholeheartedly. For all the frustrations I have about my family, they really do help an awful lot.

    Back when Warren did this on Saturday nights, he encouraged us to put a face with the name. So I'm going to do that tonight. Here's me, eating a cupcake that was much too sweet, and utterly too cute to eat without a photograph of it first.
    Photobucket

    roadscum, I'm glad to hear you're handling things okay. No shame in coming back to vent on an off day of course, but I hope they are few and far between.
    Hex, hang in there, man. And congrats on the possible ladyfriend.
    Oldhat, can I just say how utterly devoid of taste that guy must've been? That portrait is phenomenal. Also, you are beautiful and talented and even though I hate that you've been depressed I cannot begin to express my gratitude for crying with me these last few months. I really really hope that your life gets to be the very best at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later.
    Everyone else: You have my love. I would really like to go through and talk to you all individually, but my laptop has a habit of overheating and shutting down, so I'd better call this done for now.