Whitechapel - Advice From Your Jobs Thread Sat, 25 May 2013 18:45:30 -0700 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/ Lussumo Vanilla 1.1.4 & Feed Publisher Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344771#Comment_344771 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344771#Comment_344771 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 15:50:41 -0800 oldhat
What bits of advice would you give someone who plans to or is just starting to work in your field (day job, night job, creative job, any job you do)? If we have to plant a scenario on it, let's say an intern has been assigned to you and in between the corruption and coffee runs, you have to teach this kid something that no schooling, only your experience can teach them.

Might help to tell us what you do before giving the advice as well.

Go.

To clarify: I don't mean the "How do you make it in the _______ business?" type of advice, but more of the handy little tools that have helped you over time. A way of dealing with clients, or avoiding an easily made mistake, say. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344776#Comment_344776 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344776#Comment_344776 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:10:55 -0800 mister hex Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344781#Comment_344781 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344781#Comment_344781 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:51:15 -0800 Stoto Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344783#Comment_344783 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344783#Comment_344783 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 17:04:58 -0800 dorkmuffin Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344784#Comment_344784 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344784#Comment_344784 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 17:10:52 -0800 oldhat
Don't feel like you have to write a good review just because you were given it for free to review. Honesty, especially if it's tactful, pays off.

Perfect example I recently reviewed a beer where I said it missed the mark that it was going for. I got an e-mail from the brewery's rep thanking me for my honesty and essentially "we were thinking the same thing". If it's shit, say so. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344786#Comment_344786 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344786#Comment_344786 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 17:24:53 -0800 Finagle Rule #1: Clients lie. They lie by commission, by omission, out of ignorance, and from not wanting to bother you.

"So, you rebooted your computer when it told you to?" "Oh yeah yeah yeah, I did."
"So how long as the antivirus been popping up and telling you it is out of date?" "Oh, uh, I don't know, I just noticed it."
"Did you happen to click on that link in the spam email?" "Noooo, no no I would never do that."

LIES. Trust, but verify. Use your own tools to check out the client's system and never actually trust that what they said is true or accurate. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344792#Comment_344792 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344792#Comment_344792 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:33:44 -0800 cjkoger Lie to Me again after reading that. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344793#Comment_344793 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344793#Comment_344793 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:38:27 -0800 cjkoger Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344797#Comment_344797 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344797#Comment_344797 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 21:24:48 -0800 RenThing
1. Develop a poker face. Then refine it. Polish it more. Refine it further. Get it to the point where trained psychologists who actively work with the most criminally insane envy you, where poker all-stars wish to study your skills. Get it to the point where you could listen to the most horrible shit without showing any emotion because, I guarantee you, in the course of your career in HR you will hear some of the most pathetic, lame, passive aggressive, whinging, entitled bull shit imaginable and, if you do not possess such a weapon's grade poker face, you will break down and laugh at the person who is talking to you.

And, unfortunately, that is a bad thing in HR.

2. Learn to divorce yourself from your job. Just like a writer needs to not take rejection personally, you can't take the sometimes unfortunate stuff that needs to happen personally. People being let go, like them being hired and not being the right fit for the job or being laid off, sucks. It really, really sucks and you can sympathize with the person but what is happening to them is not because they were bad, or did something personally wrong; it is, as the damned saying goes, unfortunately just business. It does suck but that's what happens sometimes and, eventually, it'll happen to you too (and happened to me).

That being said, if you are the sort, enjoy your slice of schadenfreude pie when someone who deserves it gets what's coming to them. Just do it quietly and to yourself.

3. Learn to keep secrets and learn to not give anything away. HR, at least US-based HR, deals with a lot of sensitive, personal information. If you are a busy body who can't keep their mouth shut then you need to find another area to work in.

On the other hand, learn how to tell about the outrageous things you learn in such a way that you maintain that confidentiality because later that could be really great material for doing stand up or a book about the trials and tribulations of working in HR.

5. For fuck's sake, buck the stereotype that HR people are lazy shits who A) don't know what they are talking about, B) then talk about things they don't know anything about as if they knew what it was they were talking about, and C) when someone asks for something fucking do it. I'm tired of being judged by people's shitty experiences with other HR people.

6. Many managers will not like you. Period. Why? Because it is your job to tell them why they can't do the thing they want to because it violates some employment law or company policy. Learn how to navigate those managers and how you can eventually get them on your side (the word "but" is great here; "No, we can't do it that way but if we did it this otherway then it would be fine.")

7. No one will read your emails, learn to live with that. Last year I sent four emails to the entire company telling them when benefits enrollment would end and I still had a handful of people tell me they weren't aware, despite said emails and physical paperwork sent to their home with that date.

8. Learn to love parts of your job. For me I love hiring new people, getting them set up with benefits, and doing employee training, among others. HR is a lot of tedious bureaucracy and paper pushing mixed in with occasionally rushing about stamping out fires, stress, and sometimes having to do things you'd rather not. Combat this with actual, legitimate enjoyment for what you can enjoy, otherwise you will burn out.

9. Finally, come to understand that your role is to take care of your coworkers as best you're able. Sometimes they won't help you by not helping themselves, sometimes they won't appreciate the things you've done for them, and those times suck but other times they will appreciate it and that is awesome. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344798#Comment_344798 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344798#Comment_344798 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 21:29:20 -0800 Purple Wyrm Important Thing to Know Number 1: Graphic Designers don't know jack shit about designing for the web.

Of course there actually are vast numbers of Graphic designers who know exactly what they're doing designing for the web, but the odds of your client hiring one of them are miniscule. You're going to end up with designs prepared by someone who thinks about everything in terms of A4 pages and colour separation, and you're going to have to make them work! ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344822#Comment_344822 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344822#Comment_344822 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 12:20:46 -0800 oldhat
- If it's meant to go on a web site, keep it under a page and a half (one page is best unless they've had so much going on in their career). If you're adding the bio to a press release, make it half a page (with the other half going to the point of the release as well as a picture and header). Press or potential clients aren't planning on loading the bio in their e-reader, making themselves a cup of tea and reading through it at their leisure. In most cases they have several other bios to go through along with the rest of their workday. My general rule for people writing their own bios is "after a concert someone comes up to you and says 'I have five minutes, who the fuck are you?'". You have to sum up what you do in that time. That's what the bio should be. Don't use two paragraphs when one or two sentences will do.

- Choose your battles. If you're editing someone else's bio you will be cutting out a LOT of stuff to make it read better, flow smoothly and be less boring. The client will not like that. So figure out what you REALLY REALLY think should go and build a case for it and prepare to agree to keeping things in or compromising on an edit. For instance, I had a client who had some medical problems and went on for two (yes, TWO) pages about it, talking about her various illnesses and even naming the doctors that helped her. It was useless for the purpose, but what she went through gave her sort of a new lease on life and drove her to do what she loves. So I did talk about it, but I cut it down from two pages to about a paragraph.

- Take criticism as it comes. Correct on points that you agree with. While you're the one writing the bio, you're writing it for someone else and it is kind of a joint effort.

- Always ALWAYS write a 200 word version. You'll never know when the client has to apply for something and a 200-300 word bio is needed.

- It's okay if you suck at writing your own bio. I had to create a short blurb on myself to a publication and the best option was: "Robin LeBlanc lives in Toronto, has a cat and is probably an alcoholic. She wants to bring back the exclamation 'Boy Howdy!' and likes Face/Off". Thankfully I came up with something a bit more professional. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344823#Comment_344823 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344823#Comment_344823 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 13:00:11 -0800 roadscum
Trust no-one. Especially when they tell you you'll be finished by lunchtime.

Be nice to Traffic Wardens - it shocks them so much that sometimes they forget to give you a ticket

Sat Nav is an instrument of the devil, do not allow it into your cab. Learn to get yourself lost, do not rely on a machine to do it for you.

The roads are full of idiots. Remember sometimes one of them is you. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344825#Comment_344825 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344825#Comment_344825 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 13:23:37 -0800 William Joseph Dunn Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344829#Comment_344829 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344829#Comment_344829 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 15:37:50 -0800 Oddcult
This is intended to be a candid article giving my thoughts on PR after a few years in the business. It's probably a bit cynical, but it may well end up either saving you money or helping you out, one way or another.


There’s an awful lot written about PR and how to get coverage in the media and a lot of people will try to tell you all about it. Most of it is nonsense designed to get you to pay an agency to do it for you and then misdirection and trickery to make the PR agent's art seem somehow magical, arcane and beyond the ken of ordinary mortals.

However, in the same manner that Penn and Teller reveal how their magic tricks are done (that is, they reveal the simple ones but keep the really good stuff well hidden), I’m giving away a few secrets, so that (like P&T) I can convince you that I know the game inside out, and unlike all those other guys that’ll bluff and bluster you, you can actually trust me to tell it to you straight.

So here we go.

The first harsh truth is; no one cares about your press release.

Sorry, but you need to get your head around this before you’ll have any sort of a clue about PR.

Don't bother sending out a press release to try to promote whatever it is you want to promote. No matter how pretty it is, or how informative, or how many times it’s rewritten and tweaked and made beautiful, your press release won't work.

At least, not to any hugely useful extent, anyway.

Press releases work best when there’s already some interest there. Which is why they will get some attention if you’re a government department (so long as you aren’t one of the really boring ones, but are one with bombs or spies or that produces legislation that people will get very upset about and riot over) or you’re Elton John. Then, sure, go right ahead. But if you’re not at that level, or you’re in one of the boring government depts, then no one cares.

Physical, printed, press releases sent through the post will almost always be classed as junk mail. Don’t bother with them. These are usually just a way for agencies to up their expenses claims, anyway, as printing, postage and stationery costs will be bumped up on the invoice. If you retain a PR or Marcomms agency that posts out press releases, it's ripping you off. If you run an agency that does this, shame on you.

So, email then.

Mass-emailed press releases sent to multiple addresses, even if you put these in the bcc field, will almost always go in the spam bin. However, that doesn’t mean don’t email. It’s definitely the best way to start. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Oh, might as well mention one golden rule right now - never cold call journalists. It can kill any potential future working relationship you could have with them. If you catch them when they’re busy and try to tell them about something fairly banal, they won’t want to hear from you again. If you do it regularly, they’ll stop taking your calls completely.

However, that also doesn’t necessarily mean ‘don’t call journalists out of the blue’. If you’ve got something interesting and know that whoever you’re going to be talking to will be interested, that’s a different matter. But sitting and calling every journo on a list a media database has spewed out, to try and sell in a story on the off-chance that a tiny percentage of them might be interested is a stupid idea. It’s something PR agency bosses love getting lower minions to do, so they can bump up their contact sheets and say that such-and-such a journo said they were ‘interested’, just because they didn’t slam the phone down immediately, but it’s really just a demoralising, pointless waste of time for all involved and PR people really should stop it.

But, come on, let’s be positive! There are ways to get results! ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344830#Comment_344830 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344830#Comment_344830 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 15:39:48 -0800 Oddcult

The first thing to do is research your targets and make a hit list of places you’d like your PR to reach. Do this very carefully. Spend as much time thinking about it and checking titles and journalists and whether they're relevant as you might on your super-pretty press release. Use existing contacts. Don't bother with newswires, or anything like that. Time spent planning can be much, much more beneficial than the scattergun approach of spamming everyone that looks even slightly like a good target.

Now – this is one of the biggest secrets that I’m going to give away. Listen carefully:

A polite one line email, which should be in PLAIN TEXT ONLY summing up what you're offering, sent to a very small, carefully focused mailing list can get you far more coverage, and billable coverage at that, than the kind of thing that most boutique agencies offer, which is a whole set of beautiful press releases sent out to a massive mailing list.

These beautiful press releases, with lots of pictures and flowery borders will get stuck in spam filters and lead to your email address being blocked and marked as a spam source, and even when they get through, they'll usually get ignored on time conservation grounds.

Don't put images into your initial email. In terms of html it's probably okay to include one link only, to relevant web content. That doesn't, however, mean you should say ‘hey, check out this website!’ and leave it at that. Make sure the web page it goes to is relevant and tailored towards your desired end result.

Once you've got some interest from journalists THEN you send out the press release, if they ask for it or want more info. But don't fill it full of hyperbolic and exaggerated crap and don’t ever, ever, ever use the words 'the world's leading', or anything similar even if you know you’re the world leader in your field. If you are, you won’t need to say so. If it’s vaguely debatable, then don’t say it. It’s a bit like d-list celebrities asking club doormen ‘do you know who I am?’ If you have to try and push the point, you’re trying too hard. Journalists are hard-bitten cynics as a breed and will mock you for it. That is, if you’ve even caught their attention in the first place. And there are a dozen ‘Bad PR’ blogs run by bored hacks that will love to post your hyperbolic press release to take the piss out of, and you probably shouldn’t try counting that as billable coverage in your client report (although, if you manage to pull that one off, do let me know, as it would be quite funny).

Anyway, back to the press release - add in INTERESTING AND RELEVANT quotes, if you have to. Not 'we're delighted to...' stuff, or crap like that. Informative quotes that are relevant to a human interest angle only are acceptable. Company MDs or CEOs love to be quoted in press releases, but they generally don't have anything useful to say, other than how delighted or proud they are about whatever it is you're promoting.

Which no one cares about.

Find an angle, then write something for them that actually comments on important issues, or a human-interest angle, in an useful way. If there isn't anything worth saying, leave out the quote and let the actual relevant information stand on its own.

DO NOT let them put their 'We're so proud... world's leading... dedicated team... delighted to...' crap in there. Journalists play quote bingo with press releases. Don't encourage this. Be harsh with your boss. Make sure the boss knows who’s really in charge when it comes to talking to the press. Boss type creatures are always ‘delighted’ or ‘taking this matter extremely seriously’. Which, most people these days are savvy enough to know is shorthand for ‘I’m too boring to say anything original, interesting or useful’ or ‘Yup, we were caught utterly by surprise and we’re trying to crisis manage this on the hoof.’

When writing quotes for senior staff, don't be cute or clever. Don't use puns, clichés or jokes. Unless you're a genius like me and can write outstandingly brilliant ones.

If it's the B2B or trade press that you've had the interest from, then you write the whole story for them, and put what you want in there, making sure you keep to their word limit and they’ll print it for you as they’re the laziest of the lot (love you really, guys!) but and here’s another golden rule - DON'T FORGET THE BLOODY SALES TEAM'S CONTACT INFO AT THE END! That's the whole point to B2B. Don't leave that out and you're halfway there.

If you’re aiming for the general media, or lifestyle/consumer press, then the give the journo the basic facts and an UTTERLY OUTSTANDINGLY HEARTBREAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL IMAGE, saved as a hi-res jpg. Then they'll write the review or feature themselves and it'll be a lot better than the copy in your press release, as there's a reason they're journalists and you're in PR.

(HINT: it's because they prefer to see their name in print and believe in the craft of writing, rather than having a desire to earn the actual proper money that PR types can make. Not that I'm earning anything decent at the moment. Sob. Weep.)

Aaaanyway...

One thing that you should do, however, is to get a web address quoted - and for a retailer where someone can actually BUY the product from, or get directly in contact. A journalist will bung in a good picture over and above anything else, so have some good ones. They'll always slap in a decent picture in preference to words, if they can get away with it. DON'T photoshop them, other than for very basic corrections or to tidy them up. Sticking your product in the hands of a model shot from an image library is outstandingly naff too. Just don't do it. There are blogs that will post bad photoshop jobs to mock too. And again, this doesn’t count as billable coverage. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344831#Comment_344831 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344831#Comment_344831 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 15:40:52 -0800 Oddcult
Sticking to the above tricks will get you coverage worth hundreds of thousands in terms of the amount you would have to spend on advertising, in order to get the same number of column inches. Or, you could pay me a few hundred quid to do it all for you.

Further to this: If you want to get your product, or story or whatever, all over the Internet, then here's the trick for doing so. I’ve giving away a really big secret here. Well, it was a big secret few years ago, but people are now catching on. Anyway, here you go:

Do your homework on blogs that cover the sector you're promoting. Pick one that's got fairly low traffic, but is quite niche. Contact the author. Offer him or her an exclusive first look. Give them a really nice picture. Send them a sample and tell them they can keep it. If they don't bite, try another, but if the blog's actually active, they always will. Make sure they include a web link, either to a retailer, or to your client's website (and remember, if you want people to buy something, and it's on sale already ALWAYS link to a retailer, not the manufacturer) Then when they've put their piece up, submit it as a link to digg, reddit, and also all of the other high traffic blogs which let their readers submit tips. Find a few current Top 100 Blogs lists and then get yourself a private email address and submit that sucker to other blogs and as many sources that take tips as you can. News begets news. And there’s no harm in helping it along. But you’ve got to pretend someone else started it, not you. Do be a bit subtle here, please.

You’ll get an existing blog story featured on bigger blogs and higher traffic websites far more easily by helping it along the way virally than you'd be likely to get a press release featured if you approached them directly. That's just how the web works. It's fairly simple to play the game, and you can get about fifty grand's worth of advertising equivalent spend, just by taking an afternoon to follow blog links and clicking about. It even looks and feels like slacking off by websurfing, so it's fun all round. Just don't get too sucked into the other content on these sites and spend too long on any one of them.

Oh - another tip - if you're going to do this, then it's also worth search engine optimising your links. Try to get the original piece to include a link that actually features the product or company name in the link text. Often if you send them an HTML link that's already set up they'll cut and paste it into their feature, and then you've essentially got someone googlebombing for you, as you ...encourage... the spread of the feature around the web. Acutally, ALWAYS think about how to SEO any and all links you're releasing into the wild. It pays off.

So, forget traditional PR and marketing tactics - the above is wisdom that will get your product, book, band, worthy cause, interview, or whatever, a whole load of coverage for very little outlay. And yes, I’ll do all that for you too, for a reasonable fee, if you’re too busy.

A couple of other points before I go:

- TV programme researchers will blag samples of anything and everything you're offering. Make sure you're talking to an actual production assistant and discussing schedules when something will be likely to actually appear before sending out samples for TV coverage. However, if you're not far away and can deliver stuff to the set yourself, do it anyway as it's always fun to see what's going on and actually to chat to people you usually only email. Making friends with the runners can sometimes be advantageous as they tend to go up in the industry and might be production assistants or even producers before long.

- If there's a big trade show that your company or client is attending, you'll get far more interest from journalists who DON'T go than from ones that do, unless you're Apple or Sony. That is, if you offer (via the magic, polite one line email) to send them a cut down PDF version of your press pack directly, instead of expecting the journos that actually do attend to visit your stand or pick up a press pack from the show's press office, which they will then ignore amongst all the other freebies and crap they've picked up. That way they can file a story and make it look as though they've been to the show, even when they haven't. They like that sort of thing.

That's it, really. There is more, but I’ve got to keep some stuff back. And in case you’ve missed the subtle hints I’ve been dropping throughout this piece, if you want someone to do PR for you, I’m available and cheap. Okay, maybe not that cheap, but I’ll get you better results than you’d get by paying a hundred times as much on advertising or to a big agency that pulls the kinds of sneaky, invoice bumping tricks I've warned about. Which, you have to admit, does make me pretty good value.

Of course, if you're one of those big agencies, and want to give me a few decent clients to handle for a decent salary, then I've got no problem whatsoever removing this piece from Her Majesty's Internet and pretending it never happened. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344832#Comment_344832 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344832#Comment_344832 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 15:41:02 -0800 longtimelurker
You forgot #10:

Make peace with the fact that you are basically the boss's spy. Develop a cunning and a ruthlessness worthy of "Dream Team"-level defense attorney, maybe more ruthless. Provide cover for when the boss fires qualified people to be replaced by patronage hires. Deny the company's actual reasons for doing anything at all times.

And above all make recommendations for hire for positions you have never held yourself based on five-minute telephone interviews. GLORIFIED SECRETARIES!

(Line up the urethral maggots, Si. Christ alive, that hurts. Fuck it though, it was worth it.) ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344833#Comment_344833 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344833#Comment_344833 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:06:48 -0800 Magnulus
If you have ANYTHING else that you would be as happy making your living off as acting... Do that.

If your primary reason for wanting to be an actor is to be famous... Quit now.

Work hard. Every time. If you don't, you waste everyone's time, including your own. No one wants to work with a time waster.

Be nice. Respect every single person on set/ in a stage production. Including and especially "low-ranking" people like stage hands, runners, secretaries, PAs, etc. If you don't give a shit about social concerns, give a shit about the fact that treating ANYONE badly could come back to bite you in the arse. The runner could spit in your gingernut latte, the secretary could not forward your calls, the stage hands could "forget" to set props. But generally: It's just good to be nice.

You most likely will not make any money for a long time. You most likely will not make much money at all for the rest of your life.

When you bag that cushy commercial gig that pays more money than you've seen in your entire career: Save it. Do NOT buy a car. Do NOT buy a Retina Macbook Pro. You will need that money when you don't get another gig for five months. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344841#Comment_344841 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344841#Comment_344841 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:12:37 -0800 struthersneil
1) Nobody wakes up and decides "I'm an international assassin now" and puts an ad in the paper. Those who do are usually mopped up by the police. Your first jobs will probably be through friends--insurance jobs, minor political assassinations, things like that. After that things will escalate pretty quickly, especially if your friends happen to work in cartels.

2) The jargon you hear in movies is all wrong. Try to forget it all and just talk like a normal human being in meetings. We don't talk about 'wetwork', 'hits', and so on. We call it 'whacking'. You will be paid to 'whack off' various individuals in hotel rooms, the back seats of limos, alleyways, etc.

2.5) Similarly, don't waste your time coming up with a clever codename. You only need English, Spanish and Russian-sounding variants of your actual name.

3) Don't wear black, come on. Amateurs wear black. It's not about looking like a badass. Between the tropics I wear a white linen suit with a magenta polo neck. Further north I like a good fur coat. Blue overalls will get you in anywhere. Smile now and then.

4) Don't be afraid to talk about work on the phone, or online. Just keep conversation light. Nobody likes a paranoid assassin or a paranoid customer. The government isn't out to get you. (Later, half your jobs will be government jobs.)

5) There's a saying amongst whackers: "Nobody cares, and they especially don't care in Africa!"

6) You can assemble a rifle in marketplaces and public squares around the world as long as you have a big ugly camera pointed at yourself. There are multi-use tripods that will take a rifle mount as well. Again, remember to smile. Nobody likes a sullen whacker.

7) Have another job and work your hours. Pay taxes. If your other job is in international haulage, all the better.

8) Develop stashes of weapons within (at most) a 12 hour drive wherever you find yourself doing most of your work. Don't take guns on planes, they've totally cracked down on that. There are a number of EXCELLENT border towns and villages in Eastern Europe (for example) where you can rent houses for a couple of thousand euro a year. For another few hundred you can have a friendly policeman keep an eye on it for you. These are solid connections to make as they often lead to quick and easy local jobs. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344842#Comment_344842 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344842#Comment_344842 Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:12:40 -0800 DavidLejeune
1. Just because you're essentially getting paid to play video games does not mean it's acceptable to get shit on by your superiors. Don't take shit from anyone. If you're a lead/supervisor and the project manager is demanding endless overtime just for overtime's sake, push back. If the fix rate build to build is low and the build schedule is infrequent the only thing overtime is going to do is burn out your team and waste the company's money.

2. Your job is telling people when their shit is broken. More often than not, the people who you tell this to are not going to be happy about it, no matter how nice you are. Don't worry about them liking you, don't not tell them about issues because you're afraid of pissing them off, and under no circumstances become a yes man.

3. If you're at publisher level QA: establish a standard workflow for the bug database and apply it to all projects, regardless of developer (if you're in a position to do so).

Most important:
4. Communicate by e-mail as much as possible, and keep those e-mails. Paper trails are important. Especially when you have to reconcile conflicting information from Production, Marketing, and the Developers.

5. If you're a lead/supervisor: buy your team snacks occasionally, and not just on pay day. Unexpected baked goods are good for team morale. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344857#Comment_344857 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344857#Comment_344857 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 06:54:01 -0800 Finagle Protip #2: The customer is usually wrong. Find out what they are really trying to accomplish, instead of trying to solve what they're actually asking you.

Client: "Hi, I've got ADSI Edit open and I'm trying to edit a user account in active directory, how do I do that?"
WRONG ANSWER: "Oh, sure, just go to Search and type in the email address..."
RIGHT ANSWER: " 0_o Yes, you can edit an account that way, but why are you trying to...?"
Client will be trying to do something simple like edit the email address. A little knowledge is dangerous, and the local "IT expert" in an office will often bizarrely chose the most incorrect, roundabout and dangerous way to get something simple done... ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344859#Comment_344859 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344859#Comment_344859 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 07:27:21 -0800 Jason A. Quest Rule #1: Clients lie.
Protip #2: The customer is usually wrong.Ditto. With #2, people will often ask for shiny (and expensive and resource-wasting) stuff they don't really need. Ask "what problem is this intended to solve?" If they can't answer, they don't need it.

My one dealing-with-people tip that isn't based on cynicism is this:
When someone asks for something impossible for you to do, don't say "no"... say "yes, but...."
Can you drop what you're doing and fix this for me? Yes, but only if ___ says it's OK to drop his request.
Can you build me a new web site by Monday? Yes, but I'll need 5 experienced people to work on it and unlimited overtime.
Can you get this package to Paris in time for lunch? Yes, but that will require highjacking an ICBM.
That way you're never being obstructionist or uncooperative or negative, and you're leaving it up to them to actually make it possible. And if they do... then it isn't impossible after all. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344860#Comment_344860 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344860#Comment_344860 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 07:43:53 -0800 roadscum Can you get this package to Paris in time for lunch? Yes, but that will require highjacking an ICBM.

Now that sounds strangely familiar. Funny how so much of this applies to such widely separated industries. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344866#Comment_344866 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344866#Comment_344866 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 10:56:15 -0800 Vornaskotti
Hah, that is so relevant and I agree on most parts. I've been in the both sides of the issue, as a professional journalist and also as a PR/publicity minion. In the latter I tried to do stuff that wouldn't annoy the journalist me, and I think I'm echoing a lot of what you said:

- Keep the press releases simple and to the point. Ditch the "mutual masturbation quotes", ie. having two representatives spew platitudes about how they are sooooo happy to work with the sooooo talented other guys that once the door closes, they'll start french kissing just out of happiness of working together. Nobody in the history of journalism really uses those quotes. And no fucking photos in the press releases, m'kay? If there are quotes, they should be interesting. Even controversial.

- Make press sites clear and concise, no fucking flashy animated Flash galleries or other shit. A journalist is a pissed of arsehole who just wants to write that piece of news or that article, and not watch a fucking horrible overdesigned piece of shit page do stupid animations. Clear information. Easily downloadable photos with no bullshit watermarks. Making it clear the photos are free for everybody to use for every frigging journalistic purpose. No photo galleries with restricted sign ins. I mean what is wrong with people? "No, you can't have easily accessible quality photos of our product, no sireee, now here's a hoop, that's a good journo, now jump." ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344869#Comment_344869 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344869#Comment_344869 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 12:04:24 -0800 Oddcult Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344876#Comment_344876 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344876#Comment_344876 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 14:28:30 -0800 arklight Amazing thread!


That is all......

Heri Mkocha
https://www.youtube.com/thearklight ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344888#Comment_344888 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344888#Comment_344888 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 18:59:30 -0800 government spy
1. And I can't stress this enough, if this is your dream job, if the number one thing you want to do is be a prison guard, you should probably seek help in some sort of professional psychiatric facility. If you're gung-ho, and wanna be a SUPERCOP, this is not the place for you. You will be miserable, and you will make everyone in your life (family, friends, co-workers, inmates) equally unhappy.

2. However, if you're in the military, and are looking for a civil service job where your experience and skills can be put to good use, plus you understand command structure and want many of your current benefits to continue, the Federal Bureau of Prisons is actually a good choice. Provided Bullet point #1 doesn't apply to you. Which, if you're in the military, it probably does.

3. Don't get stabbed. Probably should be higher on my list. This includes, don't argue with inmates in front of other inmates. If you don't want to get stabbed, treat them like human beings who deserve respect. Because, well, they are, and they do. If you back an inmate into a corner and disrespect them in front of their friends/gang members, they will act like the nastiest peices of human trash you can imagine. But if you talk to them privatlky, they will show intelligence, compassion, and compliance, and then return to their buddies telling them how they told you to fuck off. But they still did what you wanted and you controlled the situation, which is the point.

4. Don't have sex with inmates. You'd think this would be unnecessary to tell guards. But it is necessary. So necessary.
5. If you bring in contraband for inmates (drugs, aclohol, cigarettes, food, weapons, cell-phones, etc.), you will make more money in one delivery than you can make in a year. But you will get caught; the inmate you're smuggling for will rat you out for a sentence reduction.

I'm sure there's more, but that's my top 5. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344889#Comment_344889 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344889#Comment_344889 Sat, 01 Dec 2012 19:24:40 -0800 magnusisasillyname
1) Practise every day at the thing you want to do. Doesn't matter what it is, but do it, a lot.

2) Associate with people working towards the same goal as you, you will learn from them and they will help drive you forwards.

3) Become ok with making mistakes. The way to learn to juggle is to drop a ball 1000 times. This is the same in all things. The more times you get something wrong, the closer you are to getting it right.

4) Be prepared to be undervalued, and cherish the times that you're not.

5) If they want you to get changed in a toilet, you get changed in a toilet, at least you're doing what you love, and if you're not, do something else.

6) Kinda the same as 2) but network like a motherfucker, know everyone and...

7) Be prepared to do anything.

Today I was a jester in Selkirk in Scotland. Lots of tiny cold pink faces laughed at me. It was a good day. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344940#Comment_344940 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344940#Comment_344940 Sun, 02 Dec 2012 22:09:09 -0800 RenThing
I've actually, thank fuck, never worked at a place like that. Well, except once, which was this shitty little answering service in Santa Cruz. One of my best mates and I worked the swing shift together and ended up quitting a week apart because we were tired of the BS. The owner/general manager tried to tell me that I actually couldn't quit because I'd made some kind of agreement to stay on at least a year. When I asked her to produce the document I must have signed with that agreement on me the story changed to where it was an "understanding" we had at the time I was hired and that she wouldn't have hired me otherwise.

I did not restrain the laughter that flowed fast and free and beat feet to the bank to cash my final check before they could cancel it. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344946#Comment_344946 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344946#Comment_344946 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 02:09:15 -0800 Flabyo
Videogame Development!

I've not often been given people to mentor, but when I have I've always concentrated on teaching them how to work better with the test department. As David says, it's very easy for people to assume that test are there to pick fault in everything you do, and far too many developers I've worked with end up in an 'us vs them' situation. That just leads to pissed off people all around, and ultimately bad product at the end.

Point #1: Development and Test are the same team. The aim here is to work together to make the best game possible. This is not a competition, neither side 'wins' when the game is done.

Point #2: To that end, when you're dealing with test, drop the snark. Yes, you're going to get the odd bug report that seems insanely picky, or comes out of misunderstanding the game design. That doesn't make it acceptable to send it back with the equivalent of a 'fuck off'. Be the guy that test like working with, who asks politely for more information if something doesn't repro. There will be times when working on some horrendously hard to repro bugs that you will need test backing you up when you talk to management, and they're not going to do that if you're always being a dick to them.

Point #3: Take the time to learn what the different bug resolution options actually mean and when you should use them. As a developer, the only resolution choices you should select personally are 'claim fixed' when you fix it, or 'not repro' if you can't. If it's 'by design' then it's one of your designers that has to resolve it that way, they're the arbitrator for game design, not you. If it's any other kind of 'won't fix' (for example, the risk/reward trade off is too dangerous) then that's a production or lead coder call. Pass it on to the right people with enough information that they can see your reasoning. Nothing annoys a tester more than when a bug comes back resolved 'by design' with no explanation as to why, and even if you do explain they're right to protest if you're not one of the games designers.

Point #4: The goal when in final bug fixing isn't to fix every bug given to you. Your goal is to have no bugs in your bucket. This seems a little like buck passing, but there's nothing worse than sitting on a mis-assigned bug for weeks when it should've been with someone else. Get into the habit of at least skim reading each bug as it arrives and immediately moving it on. Use compilation down time to try and repro bugs you haven't looked at yet, if the repro is difficult (or even impossible) then you can bat it back to QA to get more information BEFORE you start to actually invetsigate it seriously.

Point #5: More of a company wide thing this. Make sure that your QA department can do full videocapture of bugs for their bug reports. This has only been an option in recent years, but it does WONDERS for your ability to fix obscure issues. Because quite often the thing causing the problem isn't written down by the tester in the report because they don't know what to look for (and never will, they don't know how the game actually works, only how it's meant to appear to work). If your game allows full input recording and playback, that's even better cause the bugs will repro with no human intervention...

There's loads more, but that relationship between development and test is SO critical, and so many younger devs struggle with it (the next thing that younger staff struggle with is when they have their first bad press reviews, but coping with that isn't really something you can teach...) ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344963#Comment_344963 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344963#Comment_344963 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 10:14:37 -0800 Peter Kelly
1. Plan for your/your department workflow based on what you are experiencing, not on what anyone else tells you wil be happening soon. (More staff being hired don't exist until you meet them, Equipment coming "next week" will take 6 months, & this "Hump" we need to get through never actually goes away.) Deal with what you are experiencing, and adjust constantly.

2. React to facts not to speculation. I still have serious issues with reacting to "I Head that...." rather then waiting for the facts to come in from a reliable source.

3. Point out any issues/suggestions to the appropriate people and then let them go. Getting frustrated or angry doesn't help and in fact often makes things worse (I have issues with this one as well)

4. If anyone gives you instructions verbally, e-mail them a summary and get them to confirm. Prevents any chance of miscommunication and Once it is writing, you can refer to it weeks/months/years later. I've found every time I've done this, there has been no issue and when there is an issue, I wish I had done this.

5. If you work in TV, there are is no such things as a crisis. Worse case scenario is a tv show doesn't go to air....and while that is bad, really...what does it matter? It's tv. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344964#Comment_344964 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=344964#Comment_344964 Mon, 03 Dec 2012 10:46:55 -0800 Jonny Ho
I've been working as a bartender for about 11 years now, from huge chain pubs to small independent operators focusing on cocktails and similar fanciness. A couple of things stick out.

1. Telling someone that you're not going give them any more alcohol isn't a fun job. If you're taking that as an opportunity for laughs, you're doing it wrong.
2. A good bartender is there to help people have good times, not to get them drunk.
3. If you end up working in a cocktail bar, there's a decent chance you'll end up knowing more about spirits and drinks and the history of both than your customers. That's not their fault, and it's not a stick to beat them with (metaphorically speaking).
4. Prep - it's your friend. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345014#Comment_345014 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345014#Comment_345014 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 06:17:23 -0800 badbear
@Oddcult - I've already found your advice useful and passed it on to a writer I know who is trying to get their work noticed. Thanks!

I'm not sure I've got any advice myself... My husband however has just quit what he terms "the moral bankruptcy" of online advertising and has poured some of his copious knowledge into a website for the benefit of people who want to get some hard cash out of their internet ventures. Not much good for you creative types I imagine, but one of you might know someone who would find it useful...

www.theonlineadvertisingguide.com

(It's brand spanking new so if anyone has feedback I'm sure it will be gratefully received.) ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345016#Comment_345016 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345016#Comment_345016 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 08:09:33 -0800 Morac Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345031#Comment_345031 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345031#Comment_345031 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 19:38:42 -0800 Greasemonkey
1) Don't skimp on the hygiene. If your plants become infected with spider mites or black mold, you can lose months of work and thousands of dollars' worth of product, so clean up all the old dead leaves and other dirt and debris before starting a new grow.

2) Join a growers' forum online, and take advantage of the expertise of people who have years of experience (read the FAQ section first).

3) If it's your first time growing, the easiest hydroponic system to build, operate and maintain is the deep water culture or bubbler. You can make one out of a Rubbermaid tub with a lid and an aquarium air pump.

Build your own bubbler system.

4) Do your homework. You will need to know what type of lighting, nutrients, temperature, pH and humidity your crop requires, and how to regulate all of these. Hydroponics isn't particularly difficult to learn, but without a good knowledge of these basics you're going nowhere.

5) Do the rest of your homework. What strain of plant do you plan to grow? How tall does it get, and how quickly? Does it grow low and bushy or tall and lanky? How long does it need to be vegetated before being switched to a flowering/fruiting cycle?

6) Invest in a handheld magnifier in the 50x-100x range. The 420 Scope is the standard amongst home growers in my neck of the woods, and sells for around $25. Excellent for keeping track of the health and ripeness of your crop.

7) A carbon filter like the CAN 2600 sells for around $55, and will eliminate smells when connected to your exhaust duct.

8) Light-proofing your grow area is of critical importance. Your crop requires uninterrupted dark periods in order to flower and ripen.

9) You're going to be connecting electrical wires and water pipes in close proximity to one another, and doing basic construction and assembly work. If you don't have any experience with this type of work, maybe you need to find another hobby before you electrocute yourself or start a fire. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345055#Comment_345055 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345055#Comment_345055 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 11:28:31 -0800 Steve Toase
It's not going to be like Indiana Jones

It's not going to be like Time Team

It's not going to be like when you were at university.

You won't stop work when it's raining unless it becomes a serious health and safety issue or risks damaging the archaeology

It rarely becomes a serious health and safety issue or risks damaging the archaeology

Most building work happens in summer because compo doesn't go off when it is really cold so you will often be working in autumn winter ahead of sites starting.

At other times you will be working alongside builders. They are not below you just because you have a degree. They are not below you because they did not go to university. They get paid more than you, but they work fucking hard for it.

Your trowel is for cleaning your mattock with.

Be prepared to travel to get work, especially in the early years.

You can make a living from it, but it will be short term contracts.

Don't act like a dick. It's a small profession. People talk and when you say that you've worked for a particular unit they most likely know someone there and will ask them about you.

Clay is a pain to dig. When it's wet it smears, when it's dry it cracks and you can't see the cuts or divisions between the contexts.

You get to be the first person to see objects lost 1000/2000/5000 years ago.

You get to stand around on a lot of building sites watching not much be found.

Snow is better to work in than rain.

It's better to be out working on site when it's snowing that sat in the metal freightliner with no heating.

On away digs Thursday night is serious drinking night.

Always clean your tools before putting them away.

If you find a machine driver who can float a JCB bucket properly hang on to him.

It's a bloody cool way to make a living. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345060#Comment_345060 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345060#Comment_345060 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 12:23:03 -0800 Doc Ocassi
Don't touch the shiny bits. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345073#Comment_345073 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345073#Comment_345073 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 19:53:42 -0800 Mike Carey
Clean cuts might heal quicker and prettier, but they will bleed longer than rough cuts, or tears. If it's bleeding enough to worry you, tourniquet the fucker, and mark the time. The limb has at least three hours (probably).

If you don't have anything like Quik Clot or similar, and desperately wish you did, pack coffee grounds on/in the wound under a bandage. Caffeine is a vasoconstrictor, and the grounds themselves aid clotting.

If your emergent situation triggers anyone's asthma, caffeine's vasoconstrictive properties are again your friend. Strong coffee, an energy drink, whatever you have. But it doesn't work miracles; you're gonna want to use a calm voice, and thell them some stories to take their mind off the situation long enough for the caffeine to do it's trick.

No ingested caffeine for wound care. It spikes blood pressure, and that pressure can pop a scab, or prevent one for a while.

All the movie bullshit about manning up and using some weird, home-spun cautery only causes a lot more pain in the short-term, and will kill your ass dead with infection in the long.

Trying to dig a projectile out of your hide in the middle of an emergent situation is a terrible idea. It's plugging or pinching things that will bleed once it's gone. Save that for after, when you have a minute, and you're ready with bandages, and maybe a belt.

Crazy glue is poor-man's Dermabond. It holds a wound together, and helps slow bleeding. It's easier and miles more pleasant that trying to give yourself stitches.

If there is anyone else available, never give yourself stitches.

Fuck stitches if glue or bandages will hold.

Any sufficiently deep wound, you pack with something sterile. If the surface heals over an open wound, you're begging for an infection.

Like stitches, packing is something you're better having done to/for you.

Anything you don't clean is begging for an infection, however minor. Alcohol, salt water, salt, or sugar... If it stings, it's probably cleaning. Sugar's temporary, though.

Once a wound smells like bad cheese, shift your tourniquet up to the next major joint.

Obviously, these border on last resorts. But not all modern life takes place in cell range, or driving distance to a hospital; it can behoove those who don't professionally engage in violence to learn more peacefully applicable lessons from those who do. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345075#Comment_345075 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345075#Comment_345075 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 20:53:02 -0800 Purple Wyrm Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345077#Comment_345077 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345077#Comment_345077 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 21:48:46 -0800 Mike Carey
If you're talking about the tape as a bandage, you're looking at a similar problem, but yes, it could still work. Best bet would probably be a strip along the wound, and a couple perpendicular to, to fight the natural tension of the skin.

Limbs can be wrapped, but if you're not intending to tourniquet you might want to be very careful about how tight you're wrapping.

And you'll want to immobilize the joint above and below. Otherwise, the nature of skin is to shift and move, and you'll lose the bandage quick. Immobilizing the body is harder, but you can patch the area to try and make up for it.

But mine was hardly an exhaustive list, and I certainly haven't learned everything that can be done. Bottom line is that if it works, and doesn't cause any more harm, then that's your answer. I haven't tried to bandage with duct tape, but if it was all I had at the time, you can be damn sure I'd think of it, and give it a shot.

I love me some duct tape for splints, though. Cordage, straps, they work, and if I have to, I'll use 'em. A strong tape works, and keeps the supports from shifting, and I don't give a shit if the next level of care cuts it right off. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345078#Comment_345078 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345078#Comment_345078 Wed, 05 Dec 2012 23:03:24 -0800 Purple Wyrm
Your posts kinda remind me of what my Dad was told in Air Force reserve first aid training. If someone's bleeding out, don't obsess about washing your hands - infections can be treated with antibiotics, death due to blood loss can't be treated by anything. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345082#Comment_345082 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345082#Comment_345082 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 00:30:51 -0800 Mike Carey
Same goes for sucking it up and applying a tourniquet. Lots of people shy away from it, thinking it's immediately a lost limb. Even if it was, and it's not, they're still alive.

And CPR. Everyone I ever trained, I told to expect, maybe try, to crack a rib. First, if you're doing it right, it's inevitable. Second, if you don't perform CPR, he's dead. Cracked ribs don't just hurt like fuck, but are inconvenient as shit, and for a while; I'll take that over dead, every time it's offered.

Edited to add:
If you ever do try it, drop a line, let me know how it goes. It's handy stuff to have around anyway, and if it's got more viable applications, that's only good to know. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345083#Comment_345083 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345083#Comment_345083 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 01:21:57 -0800 Vornaskotti
It's damn solid advice to tell people just to try something, especially in a CPR situation. I have only basic level first aid courses done, but it's really worth remembering that fear of doing something wrong should not keep you from CPR. I mean, if the fucker isn't breathing and doesn't have a pulse, he's essentially dead already, so what's the worst that can happen? Another 20 years of miserable life if you manage to restart him :) ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345088#Comment_345088 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345088#Comment_345088 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 07:41:48 -0800 allana Over the summer I watched a car accident and got the instinctive-call-911 part down, but wouldn't have had a clue what to do after that. A cyclist's belt-tourniquet ended up saving the victim's life, and I wish I'd had the werewithal to figure that out independently. I'm not sure where you're from, Mike Carey, but what kind of first-aid training would you recommend for that sort of thing? St John's or what have you? I definitely want quick and dirty tips, not for the faint of heart. Obviously I should take CPR, but is there something specifically for emergency/ad-hoc situations? Or maybe wilderness or something?

Also, holy crap, CPR cracks ribs?! See, there's this stuff you just don't know. Why isn't emergency first aid taught in primary school, hell. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345090#Comment_345090 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345090#Comment_345090 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 08:38:06 -0800 Wood Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345104#Comment_345104 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345104#Comment_345104 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 14:53:14 -0800 Purple Wyrm then you start with CPR.

I think :D ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345105#Comment_345105 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345105#Comment_345105 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 14:58:26 -0800 Mike Carey
Finding training for the down and dirty stuff is hard. Many colleges, universities, and some trades schools, if they handle majors or classes that involve being the hell out beyond civilization, will sometimes offer courses in wilderness medicine. Something to stabilize, get a person ambulatory. Those classes are often open to the public, because there's few enough students making the course worth offering. If you're a student, and the campus has EMT services, they'll often take students, and provide training; EMT and First Responder training is remarkably expensive in many areas. Or you could enlist in the Navy, train as a corpsman, pursue FMF and other operational experience, and get the real ugly battlefield medicine schooling.

But knowing those who do any of these things, and asking the questions... It's not the same, but it can teach you things.

Vornaskotti, the approach of, "This guy is dead already, nothing I can do can make him much worse off." is the most valuable perspective you can give to someone who might have to respond to an emergency. If you sit and watch, and worry about what might happen, he stays dead. Give it a go, and he might just have a chance.

Wood, you nailed it. CPR doesn't really save anyone's life. It just makes sure the brain and the heart get a dosing of oxygen. It keeps them save-able until a higher level of care. And the issue of actually restarting the hard is complicated. Despite what every popular depiction teaches us, shocking a person with no pulse won't do a damn thing. It's essentially there to steady or reset a rhythm when it gets ... off. But without a rhythm, it doesn't do anything. CPR can give you a temporary rhythm, and the defibrillator can take it from there. Without the CPR, the defib is a waste of time, and without the defib, the CPR is unlikely to get him up and send him on his way.

Edited to add:
Purple, it's possible to restart the heart. It's unlikely to take, without a defib to "set" it, but it's possible. But leave off the whacks, go straight to the compressions. The steady rhythm is your best bet at sparking the response for which you're hoping. And you're already looking at breaking a couple ribs... don't punch his ass while he's down, too. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345106#Comment_345106 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345106#Comment_345106 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 15:07:21 -0800 Mike Carey Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345109#Comment_345109 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345109#Comment_345109 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 16:46:50 -0800 Greasemonkey The Medical Emergency Thread ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345117#Comment_345117 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345117#Comment_345117 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 18:37:00 -0800 Rootfireember
1) never assume someone in a low wage job is uneducated and stupid. You will be pranked.
2) good luck finding the dehydrated h20.
3) never leave your drink unattended.
4) if you think something is too stupid to have been said or done, you are probably wrong. If you heard your coworker say something insane, you probably weren't mishearing things.
5) onions on the floor are deadly.
6) don't open that bucket that's been hidden in the back for a few days and has a funky smell.
7) DO NOT TRUST mystery milkshakes from a suddenly nice coworker. Those aren't Oreos, they are olives. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345122#Comment_345122 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345122#Comment_345122 Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:51:25 -0800 RenThing Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345174#Comment_345174 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345174#Comment_345174 Sat, 08 Dec 2012 14:56:26 -0800 oldhat Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345188#Comment_345188 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345188#Comment_345188 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 05:04:45 -0800 nelzbub
Learn to lift heavy objects properly and put said learning into practice whenever there are heavy objects to be lifted.

My spine still hurts from the tonnes of Harry Potter I shifted back then.

If you happen to work in a bookshop it is handy to know that most major suppliers, when dealing with damaged stock, will accept the title page from the front of a book along with a relevant claim form and give credit for a new copy, leaving the damaged copy to supposedly be "destroyed" by you.

From my brief stint as a courier driver in London- don't.

Echoing some of Greasemonkey's wisdom from upthread - invest heavily in carbon filtering for your home gardening projects - a worn out filter can really fuck things up.

From my many years working as a bud tender in Amsterdam - it really isn't the "BEST JOB IN THE WORLD DUDE!!" as I am often told by visitors.

Try telling me that when I'm cleaning puke from behind the radiator for my eight euros an hour

While loosely in the neighbourhood of that point (and possibly apt for the medical emergency thread as well) If you are ever taken unwell through the use of cannabis, sugar is your friend.

The classic weed "whitey" can be quite a scary experience and usually happens when consuming on an empty stomach. A rapid drop in blood pressure brings on feeling of nausea, sweats and dizziness- by this point you will have taken on a very pale coloring as all the blood rushes to your vital organs- it is not unusual for people to faint and sometimes vomit.

The key thing to remember is that you are going to be fine and to stay calm, try to drink some sugar water or some kind of sweet, non-carbonated drink and don't be in a rush to stand up and go anywhere. Generally the worst will pass after half an hour and from then on you are just stoned and you may as well try to enjoy it.

When consuming cannabis edibles, bear in mind that the onset of effect is delayed but longer lasting once it begins, be careful not to consume too much. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345193#Comment_345193 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345193#Comment_345193 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 07:30:37 -0800 LokiZero Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345194#Comment_345194 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345194#Comment_345194 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 08:06:57 -0800 Steve Toase Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345200#Comment_345200 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345200#Comment_345200 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 12:59:43 -0800 Greasemonkey When consuming cannabis edibles, bear in mind that the onset of effect is delayed but longer lasting once it begins, be careful not to consume too much.

It's impossible to repeat this warning enough. Expect a delay of an hour to an hour and a half for the effects of edible weed products, with a peak about two hours after consumption. Never, ever make the rookie mistake of waiting half an hour, deciding nothing's happening, and then scoffing several more edibles in an attempt to get high faster; you will find yourself descending into the most fucked-up and terrifying bad trip of your life, coming at you in ever-increasing waves of intensity. (You can't actually die from a weed overdose, but you'll be convinced that you're dying). ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345213#Comment_345213 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345213#Comment_345213 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 17:05:34 -0800 Jason A. Quest Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345216#Comment_345216 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345216#Comment_345216 Sun, 09 Dec 2012 18:38:02 -0800 Kay Orchison Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345237#Comment_345237 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345237#Comment_345237 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 06:57:29 -0800 Internaut
1.) Be thick skinned
2.) Recognize that everyone has a sob story
3.)Pretend the money we're handing out for pawns and buys is your own. (this is probably the easiest one to get and one of the most important.) Would you want to give someone 150 bucks for a laptop with 1gig of ram, windows XP and a 250gig HDD? I wouldn't.
4.)Learn and love gold and silver stamps.
5.)Always, always test to see if the item works. It seems like common sense, but selling someone a thing, and then they call angrily 30 minutes later when they get home and it doesn't work? It will ruin your day and theirs.
6.) Stick to your guns-If you're confident of a price or a decision about someone's pawn and/or buy, stick to it.
7.) Be Honest and straight forward.
8.) Become as familiar with as many brands across as many products as possible.
9.) Comfortable shoes. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345279#Comment_345279 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345279#Comment_345279 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 05:49:08 -0800 Mike Carey
Whether you're performing basic clerical taskings, or rucking 50+ pounds of gear through shitty mountain terrain, footwear is an essential consideration. Take the time to figure out what kind of feet you have: wide, flat, pronation-prone, whatever. Buy comfortable footwear that fits well, and mod them as appropriate with insoles, shanks, as you might need.

From infantry to physician assistants to green-grocers, wise and experienced men of all walks and backgrounds have advised me never to skimp on shoes/boots.

It can be shocking just how much improvement you can see in posture and comfort by taking care of your feet. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345284#Comment_345284 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345284#Comment_345284 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 07:13:05 -0800 Oddcult
In any and all jobs, don't skimp on paying for decent footwear. Black goretex lined combat boots are appropriate for a wide variety of situations, as they can stand anything you throw at them and go anywhere, but also be cleaned up enough to go with a suit, and you can run in them if you have to as well.

The rule really, is to spend money on the things you use every day and make do on the things you use rarely. So; shoes, bags, underwear, phone, laptop, tools, get the best you can afford. Shit you use rarely, skimp on it and don't spend out on stuff you just keep for special occasions. Fuck 'collectables' of all types. You don't need them. Spend the money on shoes and stuff that makes your day to day life easier. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345294#Comment_345294 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345294#Comment_345294 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 09:22:56 -0800 RenThing
In my working career I've worked in two call centers. The first was an answering service which businesses contracted with so we'd essentially take messages and give information to callers who called the businesses after said businesses were closed. The second was an in-bound call center for patients trying to leave messages for their doctors, schedule appointments, call advice nurses, and get information; this was for a giant medical care provider in California whose name rhymes with "Sizer".

1. Dress up your work space - If you work in a call center where you have your own desk, or even if you share your desk, put up some things so you're not looking at bare gray or beige fabric walls all day. Pictures, posters, some flowers, something to stimulate your mind because a little distraction can go a long way.

2. Bring something to do - There will be times when you don't get calls depending on your call center; be prepared to fight the boredom.

3. Develop a thick skin - People can be assholes but people have less of a tendency to be a complete prick to you in person. Unfortunately for you, you're not in person and so an old lady who probably would be kind and understanding while seeing your face as you try to explain how you can't help her will curse you out in such a way as to shrivel your soul, crush your spirit, and teach you the true meaning of vulgarity if you're on the phone. Working in the patient call center was even worse because you take that factor, plus the possibility that the person is being dicked around by their doctor, AND throw in they're sick? Yeah, they've several large bones to pick with the company and, by God, you're the closest thing to a perfect punching bag: a representative of the company whose face they don't have to see and they'll never talk to again. They will be mean, probably cruel, and some few will even be some definition of evil; learn to deal with it.

4. Follow your procedures / The customer is always wrong - The answering service was the first place I worked at that had the policy that the customer is always wrong. Why? Because the business contracted with its customers to provide VERY specific service and if the customer asked to go outside of the parameters that the customer set up, then we'd get in trouble. If the apartment building we're answering for specified no calls to the apartment manager for lock outs, don't fugging bother them about a lock out even if the person on the phone starts ranting. If a person mentions an emergency symptom on the phone (like numbness in the left arm and chest pain), put them through to the nurse even if they don't want to. I had a situation once where I followed procedure and lied to a patient who said she was suicidal and told her I was putting her through to psychiatry like she asked (I didn't, I put her through to our nurses like I was supposed to); when she invariably tried to get me fired the recording of the phone call showed I did exactly as I was supposed to and my employer and my union stood behind me on that. The callers will try to get you to do things that will get you in trouble; don't do it.

5. That being said, do what you can for them up - That being said you're still there to provide customer service. If a customer says no after hours contact but the caller has an urgent request, make sure you put into the message that its urgent. If your caller needs an appointment, do everything you can to get them one even if it isn't with their regular doctor (if that's ok with them and their doctor). Are they having trouble talking to a specialist? Call up that department and see if you can't get them connected through a back channel if possible. I hated the patient call center job to the point where it required two hours of decompression afterward before I was fit company for my wife but the times I made a sick person's day genuinely better and brought them some small amount of relief was worth it. Unfortunately, those times were outweighed by all the other bullshit.

6. Get out before you burn out - I can't tell you how important this is. My two experiences in call centers found the work to be pretty soul crushing to where I would tell people, and believed it myself, that I hated my life while I was doing those jobs. I saw people who had been at those jobs two or three times longer (or more) than I was and they just didn't look like they had any joy anymore. Maybe it was different at home or off shift but when you're spending at least a third of your day at work there should be something, anything, that you enjoy about it. And if your job is to provide good customer service, treating every call like you're attacking your most reviled enemy isn't going to be the way to do that.

7. Find a good manager and do everything you can to work for them - I don't know what it is about call centers but most of the managers I've met who work in them are absolute shite. Luckily, when I worked at the patient call center I worked for a good manager who took the time to try and help her team do better, offered constructive criticism rather than negative (or no) criticism, and stood by us against upper management if we were clearly in the right (rather than simply throwing us under the bus). Find them, cultivate that relationship.

8. Leave your work at the office - Seriously. Some call centers, I'm sure, are more stressful than others, but learn to leave that shit at the door so you don't take it home with you. I never mastered this skill, I wore my irritation home like a badly fitted sweater, but if you can do this then you can probably survive a call center better than I did. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345311#Comment_345311 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345311#Comment_345311 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 18:18:12 -0800 trini_naenae
And I'm seconding RenThing's #7. A good boss/manager goes a long way. I'd rather be paid less and have a good boss, than be paid more to work for people who make me miserable. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345312#Comment_345312 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345312#Comment_345312 Tue, 11 Dec 2012 18:58:51 -0800 Jason A. Quest 6. Get out before you burn out - I can't tell you how important this is. My two experiences in call centers found the work to be pretty soul crushing to where I would tell people, and believed it myself, that I hated my life while I was doing those jobs.Have you been eavesdropping on me?
8. Leave your work at the office
That's been the silver-lining part of my current job. Punch the clock, and forget all about it. Except now they have me "on call" one week out of the month. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345346#Comment_345346 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345346#Comment_345346 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 16:44:03 -0800 RenThing Have you been eavesdropping on me?

No, and ignore that chip implanted behind your ear.

That's been the silver-lining part of my current job. Punch the clock, and forget all about it. Except now they have me "on call" one week out of the month


Don't go corporate if you ever hope to retain this. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345664#Comment_345664 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=345664#Comment_345664 Tue, 18 Dec 2012 07:22:26 -0800 Scrymgeour 8. Leave your work at the office
That's one I've struggled with for years now, and It can really really burn you out. I ended up with a stammer, was pulling my hair out, and still to this day cant handle an aggressive phone vibrate as it sets my heart pounding from a particularly nightmarish boss
so also

7. Find a good manager and do everything you can to work for them

My two cents:
If your ambition is to become a great bartender, firstly have a long hard think about it. The hours are terrible, the pay (outside of the US) is terrible, and the clientelle are varied at best.
Secondly try try try, never ever give up an opportunity to try something new, a product, a cocktail, equipment, a bar, because the only way to progress is to get good. You need to be making yourself a cocktail, trying a new spirit etc. every time you'd normally have a beer.

ETA: I know my point and comment 8 from the previous post are contradictory, but in the beverage industry your work needs to be your hobby or you're in the wrong career ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=346021#Comment_346021 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=346021#Comment_346021 Sat, 29 Dec 2012 06:29:57 -0800 Darkest
1) Always have a pack of sandwich bags or ziplock bags. Preferably near the cash register, they've been really useful.

2) Be read to pass up a whole load of awesome stuff in the previews catalogue. Try to keep to a budget when you do your monthly order.

3) Be prepared to let people down. The customer will expect you to be able to get things in five seconds before they came in and sometimes that will not be possible. Explain it to them and always give your self as big a margin of error as possible.

4) Read Warren Ellis' bad signal etc. great advice in there. Especially about the sofa.

5) Keep your order spread sheets simple and name them something easy to keep track of.

6) Keep as broad range of stock as you can. Your job is to provide not "educate". Don't belittle anyone's choices. Instead recommend something to them.

7) Is someone new to comics? Don't know where to start? Ask them why they wanted to start reading comics. What tv do they like? What games? etc.

8) Wheaton's Rule.

9) Bee nice to your suppliers. Just because Diamond own's the world right now does not mean you can do without a goood working relation ship.

10) As above make everyone feel welcome with the layout. Don't block the windows. Lots of light and space, common sense layout. I have a large number of customers who I wouldn't normally because A) my shop is family friendly and B) they feel comfortable there. ]]> Advice From Your Jobs Thread http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=346042#Comment_346042 http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10916&Focus=346042#Comment_346042 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 00:40:50 -0800 Greasemonkey
1) Plywood and gesso are your best friends. You can buy a 3'x4' Craftwood panel for a few bucks, give it a couple of coats of white primer (or cheap plastic house paint if you have leftovers from renovations), then either saw it into smaller pieces or use it for a large single painting. You can get larger panels which work out even cheaper by the square foot, although they can be a pain in the arse to transport home.

2) Custom framing costs ungodly amounts of money. Learn some basic woodworking skills and build up a toolkit for yourself, and you'll save a shitload of scratch. A tenon saw (short saw) for framing, long saw for plywood, claw hammer, set square, nail punch, about a dozen adjustable clamps, a few packs of assorted nails and a bottle of carpenter's glue will see you right for most jobs. If you're painting on plywood, you can cut strips of lumber for the frame, paint them, then glue them straight onto the edges of your work (this is where your collection of clamps proves indispensable).

3) Premium paints are absolutely worth saving up for, when you're producing work for sale. They have richer, more vibrant colours because they contain more pigment than the budget brands, and they're much more hard-wearing and don't readily fade in the sunlight. If you've wondered what the 'schedule' price chart for artists' paints is all about, it's directly related to the cost of the pigments used; schedule 1 is the inexpensive stuff like titanium white and carbon black, running all the way up to schedule 6 and 7 for some of the exotic reds like rose madder and DPP Scarlet. There's an old post here with more about paint.

4) Don't stack your paintings directly against one another along the wall, you'll scuff the shit out of them. ]]>