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      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeDec 17th 2012 edited
     (10923.21)
    @dork and what gorgeous photos they are!

    Progress with counselling, I guess. Doctor says the referral has been made. I'll get a call next month and then it will be 3-6 months before anyone can see me. I'm not a priority since I'm not suicidal or self-harming, so hence the wait. But I've been told that counsellers often feel a bit burnt out having nothing but high-risk folks in, so they might take me on earlier.

    Feeling encouraged. The biggest thing is that I do like having that one hour venting period every two weeks. Even if things are going great, it's nice to talk to someone who doesn't have a horse in my race. Or something.
  1.  (10923.22)
    -dorkmuffin

    Beautiful stuff! I really love the Fiona Apple shot.
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      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2012
     (10923.23)
    @oldhat--I have to go, but I'm a little nervous. Going to my psychiatrist--a no-nonsense Indian lady--is easy. It's quantifiable, scientific. My brain does X, she prescribes Y, I'm in and out in fifteen minutes. Talking about my feelings is something I'm not wired to do, and it makes pulling the trigger on making an appointment hard.

    Plus I have to go for anger management, so that makes me feel awesome.

    I got shitfaced last week, all by myself, after my wife went to bed, because the idea of talking about my frail human emotions makes me spiral.

    Can't we just plug something into the skull, and have the brain work like it ought to?
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      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeDec 18th 2012
     (10923.24)
    @faux, well, I like a counseller who can talk with me and call me out on being an idiot if I'm being one. I don't like telling people I know the problems I'm having because I get this fear that I'm boring the crap out of them (caused by a few pretty shitty friends telling me so) or I just want to focus on the pause in the shit to have good times with them (because good times ARE good and I'm happy about them!) or (and this happened a lot) frankly not knowing how to turn an hour long combination of sobbing/screaming/crying in to words that would properly do how I'm feeling justice.

    When I'm with someone I don't know whose job it is to listen to me (and it's their job because they want to help people) I'm better at articulating what's going on and do a pretty good job of analyzing it all and coming up with a healthy decision. Really, it's just me ranting and figuring it out on my own while the counseller is there to put in her two cents on if it's a good thing or not.

    So I'm with you, it can be tough as hell and nervewracking to let shit out. But if CAN help to at least get it out. I find that even if the problems don't get solved, letting out my frustration with them can be enough to get me even again.
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      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeDec 19th 2012
     (10923.25)
    @trini - yay! We keep telling you you're a cutie!

    Finally voice acting workout. Not a coaching - paying someone to kick me in the ass until I improve (very necessary, very useful, somewhat painful, temptingly demoralizing), and not a workshop - sometimes time on the mic, but also lessons/lectures/Q&A that I've heard all before. Just a workout, get copy, hop in the booth, get direction, take after take until it's good.

    Only downsides were that the kids taking the workout talked about their own anime habits nonstop. Really I just felt out in the cold, not part of the hardcore culture of the younger anime geek set. But that's ok. They're sweet...and easy to tune out.

    The director was Tony "Rick Hunter" Oliver and he's a pretty sweet guy with a zillion credits to his name in acting and directing. He made sure to talk to me after the evening (evening Hah! we went past midnight which is was awesome on his part and the support staff, including engineers) and kept patting me on the arm and encouraging me to break out, get out of my head and really push myself to let go of timidity and go nuts. }:> I've gotten that note before but that was the kindest, warmest version. }:>

    Just feel really great...once again. I love this stuff. I really need to kick my ass and get my career in gear. But even a bad day in the booth is better than any day at a desk ever was so... that's all there is to, right?
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeDec 20th 2012
     (10923.26)
    The clients in rehab put on a panto yesterday - The Wizard of OZ. I expected it to be utter crap, but it was brilliant. The more it decended into chaos, the more funnier it was; back-drops falling down, people forgetting their lines etc.

    I'm proud of 'em!
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      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeDec 21st 2012
     (10923.27)
    For the first time since 2008 I was able to buy a few Christmas presents for other people. I haven't had the money to spare in the years since then. I just hope I can make it through the month on the last bit of my pay. It's gonna be close. But I'll be able to give people stuff! I won't be a bum giving hugs and baking treats that someone else bought...! Yay!

    (*ouch* my wallet)

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