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Web Nuggets: [Closed] AROUND THE NET -- January 2013 and possibly beyond

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    • CommentAuthorKradlum
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.361)
    They had arse eels on River Monsters last night. These particular ones were about 5' long, thicker than your arm, and lived in New Zealand (I think). They were described by an eyewitness as swimming up a sheeps anus and eating it from the inside out. They also had a similar, but much smaller, South American style species.
    • CommentAuthorMWHS
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.362)
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.363)
    Photos of all the best-in-breed dogs from the Westminster Dog Show. WHOSAGOODPUPPY.









    Also holy crap, I want to own all of the dogs in the working breed section.
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.364)
    If Bernese mountain dogs weren't prone to health problems, I'd get one for my next dog.
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.365)
    @StefanJ, look into the Greater Swiss Mountain dogs. They're healthier, live longer, and are basically the same size/color (they might be slightly smaller?). They just have a short coat.

  6.  (10955.366)
    Smells like inbreeding in here.

    I insist that AROUND THE NET remain free of genetically subnormal kennel-club living-in-pain Frankensteinia henceforth. ON PAIN OF MAGGOTS.
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.367)
    Penance:

    Old timey kissing advice.



    Like a bee that settles on the fragrant pistils of a flower, and sips in the nectar for honey, so should you sip in the nectar from between the lips of your love. And it is nectar. For there is in this mingling a symbol of the holy communion of the spirits of two soul-mates, joined together in the bonds of an indissoluble love.
  8.  (10955.368)
    Chubby Checker hasn't heard of the Streisand Effect. Or maybe it's a cunning Reverse Streisand. Who knows?
    • CommentAuthorStefanJ
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.369)
    @Dorkmuffin: A guy in my old neighborhood had two of those! They look sturdy and alert.

    But . . . I'll probably end up with another lightly used shepherd mutt.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.370)
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.371)
    @StefanJ, that's the way to go. Those guys need happy homes, and as Si mentioned, aren't inbred little puppies prone to horrible health problems as a result of KEEPING THE BLOOD PURE.
    •  
      CommentAuthorEd Jackson
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.372)
    I don't think that dude has to be forced to eat anything.
  13.  (10955.373)
    I initially read that as "Man Forced to Eat Bread" - which I personally think is a far better headline.
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.374)
    ^^until you posted that I didn't realize is said beard. I was trying to figure out why anyone would force someone to eat bread, and why that would be horrible unless you are dorkmuffin.
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.375)
    True story. That'd be ugly.
  16.  (10955.376)
    •  
      CommentAuthorFoamhead
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013 edited
     (10955.377)
    Redditor BoredBoarder8 created this map when he was having a difficult time grasping the size of the moon. Using a known distance, the continental United States, as a reference point, he extrapolated the data onto the moon.

    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeFeb 14th 2013
     (10955.378)
    The Coming War: A Military Doctor’s Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan

    Scenario #7
    During a winter night in a defensive position in Afghanistan, you do not wish to leave the warmth of your sleeping bag to masturbate in the remote, frigid, infested jack shack. Perseverant, you decide to masturbate. Unfortunately, you lack the traditional "happy sock" in which you would normally deposit your ejaculate. Climax is imminent. Where will you deposit your knuckle babies?

    Field-tested solution #1: One can remove his polar-fleece beanie hat and use it to catch and isolate his load from his body and bedding.

    The rub #1: Laundry is nigh-impossible; it's below freezing everywhere you go; and you're going to want to wear the hat. If you choose the warmth of the beanie, you must choose whether to wear your beanie butter side up or butter side down. Your choice will either publicize your perversion or test the limits of just how dirty your hair can become.

    Field-tested solution #2: If one is particularly thin in stature and confident in his muzzle velocity, he may choose to simply jizz into the far distant regions of his sleeping bag and sleep soundly in an isolated zone of the bag that is calculated to be semen-free.

    The rub #2: In an infantry unit, everyone is issued a sleeping bag—nearly all of them used. While talking loosely about your new technique, you confirm the blood-curdling fears of everyone else who sleeps in previously issued gear. You will single-handedly crush the morale of your unit for no less than eight days and nights.
  19.  (10955.379)
  20.  (10955.380)
    WE GOT METEOR!



    Completely different than the one that's going to buzz the earth later today. Bad Astronomy has loads more detail.

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