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  1.  (10956.1)
    The Rules:

    The THREE ACT SPEAKEASY is here for you to vent, to express, and to learn. This is your chance to perform -- but you're also in the audience, guv, and are expected to behave as such. So your skits at the steely Whitechapel microphone will ALL and ALWAYS be divided into three sections:

    1: The Boo. The Get-It-Off-Your-Chest. The "I've-Had-A-Shit-Week-And-I-Need-To-Vent". Your chance to scream silently into the face of Internet apathy, and trepan your pressurized consciousness. Deposit your spleen here.

    2: The Huzzah. Wherein you tell us something which goes just a teensy way to mitigating the effects of the psychic turd you just laid on our heads. Perhaps it's a tiny hint of hope in an otherwise bleak situation. Perhaps it's an unrelated Thing Which Happened which made you smile rather than frown. Shit, maybe it's just a silly joke. Show us you can cope as well as carp.

    3: The Applause. You will choose one of your fellow whitechapellers, from this same thread. Doesn't have to be the person who posted before you - just someone whose story touched you. And you will offer them a word of advice, or comfort, or support, to help them with their own SECTION 1 Whinge. Doesn't have to be much. A sentence, a word, a bloody emoticon - whatever. Just a paltry donation to the art of Thinking Of Others. And try to avoid schmaltz, please, or the Urethral Maggots will feast anew. Circle of life, kids.

    Naturally, the first person to respond here is excused from Stage 3.

    Begin.
    •  
      CommentAuthorFauxhammer
    • CommentTimeJan 6th 2013
     (10956.2)
    Boo: Sick, a little depressed. Tired.

    Huzzah: Novel is clanging along, Gun Machine is a pisser, still dropping weight, have new boots. Alles gut.

    Applause: All of you. You intimidate me, and that keeps me going. I work to be worthy of this community.
  2.  (10956.3)
    Yin

    The mancave is leaking quite badly, there's a big damp patch in the ceiling and the noticeboard that I bought a few weeks ago for the wall has warped and swelled up… my books are showing signs of mould, as are other things in there. I've tried getting up on the roof to sort it out, but not sure if it's salvageable. Can't afford to have anything done to it, at least not for a couple of years unless I win the lottery or get a huge payrise.

    Trying to fight off the jackdaw tendencies and save money (well, at least hurl it in the direction of my creditors). But I WANT ALL THE THINGS.

    Weight. Bad. Gone up too much. Really need to make it go the other way.

    Yang

    Pretty chilled. Bonding well with the baby, takes a while, I find them a bit of a culture shock when they're newborns (and they don't do anything, dammit), but she's starting to thaw my ice cold heart. Started working on music again for the first time in ages. Work not too awful, very hectic as usual, but slowly getting things done, and took full advantage of the quiet period over Christmas when there was nobody in the office.

    The Flowerpot Man

    @oldhat - carried over from the last thread, but yeah, it does kind of suck when you do work for people and they prefer your least favourite pics, or are indifferent. But I guess at least you got paid…
    @fauxhammer - huzzah for boots...
  3.  (10956.4)
    Horray for cool people: @Fauxhammer you have THE BOOK!! i don't you lucky bastard hehe and new boots win always. @JP ack! leaks congrats much on the baby! i'm sure it will totally sink in being a dad :D

    Good: I'm working a shit ton on a ton of projects- yes this is good. I have project B which is a club sort of thing i have a building that i'm currently in the process of finishing up the floors on and such so things are trucking along there, hats, Day job of doom (which i walked out on a few weeks ago begged me back gave me a raise then more responsibilities as a manager...), Secret project is on hold, And generally working to get moolah to do a FECKING huge project involving art and gigantic awesome buildings. Yes I live but mostly just post really quick to the face book. Horray I'm vauge as hell. I have a new roommate he's a jedi and quite cool.

    Bad: saved for last since well there has been a bit of it as of late. I'm having too many of my close friends let me down and are trying to be too much in my business. I've been told that I shouldn't be hanging out with my ex-husband because it sends mixed messages and confuses other people?!?! WTF. Well that will not be a problem since last friday he just decided to be a complete fucktard at me in a room full of people by ripping my camera bag out of my hands.... There isn't much to the story save for the fact i'm not talking to him and there was no reason for it. I'm currently very depressed and dealing with health issues that may involved an operation- feeling lonely and want to play baseball with someones foot.... I"m kinda at a loss not ever having gone through a divorce and having tried everything I can to be civil and stay friends. Let me tell you how awesome it was taking care of him through his health problems and now i'm having them he acts like a complete ass-hat. *sigh* Hello whitechapel it's been awhile I vent at you complete with bad spelling and grammar- miss me? I need a fucking hug. I think I might go to the range this week and shoot zombies.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeJan 9th 2013
     (10956.5)
    @ comicbookbunny - not sure where you live but I wanna move there just to hug you and shoot zombies down at the range. Or at least visit. But I only travel local. Saves gas. (I ride a bike.) What I'm saying is what I said will never happen. But I'm there in spirit, darlin.

    *smiles!*

    PROGRESS ON THE SANCTUM. Redesign for convenience and maximum cool-itude. Oh, my stars and garters. Whitechapel, this is the room you'll spend a spare night in, should you find yourself at a loss for drink. (No bed yet, feel free to use the floor, though.) NO FUCKING. Sorry. (Alright, maybe a bit.) This is my office now. This is my kitchen. This is my liquor. This is my copy of SWANK. (Can I take a look at your copy of SWANK? Not yet. Soon, though. Soon.)

    Apparently, I'm somewhat in demand. Haven't put (too many) foot wrong (sic). As were like. Been somewhat inspired and lively and feeding and tending cats will tend to do that to a man, oh aye. Can't say I'm wrong. Well, you could, if you wished to be known as "Lefty" the rest of your poor miserable life.

    *Um. Which Leads Me To ...*

    one day and likely soon, I'm gonna say the wrong thing to the wrong guy and get the shit kicked outta me.

    I'm serious. I lip off like a madman and I'm frankly surprised I haven't been beaten up yet.

    Merely one of the reasons I don't go out much.

    Still chained to a stove. ANOTHER REASON I don't yeah yeah.

    All in all, could be worse. Two months today. Getting up and gettin by.

    *barfly, set em up, willya?*

    - jc - this too shall pass. Think of all the magic yet to be discovered.
    - faux- ME?! INTIMIDATING?! HAVE WE EVER MET?! I DON'T THINK SO! What I *meant* to say was, how are you? (See what I mean?)
    •  
      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeJan 9th 2013
     (10956.6)
    Right so...

    Boo... The past week I've either been scheduling like mad, working with a director and producer who are discombobulated and different degrees of freaking out or trying to ignore all of it by playing possum. Is that how I planned to spend the first full week of the year? Why, no. But if I don't do and if I don't run interference for all the meltdowns between staff and cast, no one will. The obnoxious thing is, I'm not even in love with this play like the director and cast and producer and everyone else is. It's pretty. There is some fine detail that it's brought out that is nice to look on. But I'm here because they pay me. And I work my ass off because of... I don't know. I guess you call it professional pride. Or I hope you do, because otherwise I've gained all this weight, given myself all these gray hairs and burned through so much cash and wasted so much for no more than "the show must go on" psychosis.

    I'm trying to rescue whatever days I can to read out loud to myself, to record and practice voice work at home and practice my Japanese and even hit the gym more. But it's all haphazard, which from experience is just a great way to make sure nothing happens. I'm trying like fuck to take myself and my life more seriously and just take care of my own shit first but... fuck. I'm getting really sick of putting out other peoples fires - and I'm really getting sick of this director having anxiety/passive-aggressive meltdowns every time something goes wrong. If he did fucking quit, like he keeps threatening, I'd actually be a lot more free to just get everything done. Grrr... That's the grumpy way to look at it. He's actually the visionary and the one who's in love with the play and the reason the audience and critical reaction has been so great, and hence why we even have an extension. But, seriously I can't take his anxiety any more.

    Cheers... If nothing else this is more work. And that means I get paid (even if it's a pittance). I otherwise had nothing lined up for an income. On the drive to rehearsal today I was fretting about my computer power cord that seems to be trying its best to die on me. I have no other way to charge my laptop that doesn't like to go into hibernation properly. The only other power cord I have that suits it isn't designed to charge the battery. Just to give me enough juice to run. And as I was driving the truck was running rough as it warmed up. I thought my mom got an oil change for it, but it's not reacting like it did. So I have to check that out, but it may just be the high mileage is demanding a tune up (like I could afford that };p) and also the housing on the passenger side mirror broke and so that shakes about a lot.... And all in all I was driving and thinking of making a Tumblr of all the broken shit in my life, and just post one item a day. Ripped clothes that I still use, crappy old laptops, hand-me-down heaters, wobbly this and taped-up that... I'll title it "Today's Sob Story."

    HAHA I totally forgot this is the cheers section. Maybe it's a cheer because I thought of something kind of on the verge of being artistic, rather than just whining to myself and my Twitter followers. I just need to think of something actually artistic to say about it all.

    Anyway, a little bit of cash and I'm not making it by being stuck in an office. I got in some Suzuki & Viewpoints training on Monday and it felt good to get back to my body and find out what it's up to. If I can scare up more monies I'll maybe take an ongoing class in a couple of weeks.

    Applause...
    @hex YES on the making the Sanctum you're own. I want pictures when all is said and done.
    @Bunny - *hugs* I know friends can be a little troublesome when you're trying sort shit out, but they really truly mean well. Having been that friend that is just baffled when someone is going through a split - the trouble is I really want to be supportive of my friend's feeling but if they go back and forth between the ex being a dear friend and asshat...I don't know what position I should take. And I know - I do know! - that that isn't what the friends want, exactly, but that's what my feeling is. So...tune them out if you need to, or cultivate one or two people who are really good at listening and let them know how they can really support you.
    @JP Yay Baby warmth! }:>
    @FAux - yes! Boots! And the rest...yes.
  4.  (10956.7)
    Bad:
    Let's just say my boss is a bit scary and I'm only getting enough hours (kinda) because people keep calling in sick. And the drama and backstabbing and shit talking and... at this point, I try my best to keep my distance from it all and just do my fucking job. The boss overstepped her bounds with one of the other workers and he's going to go to the union reps. It's certainly going to be interesting. She threatened me with a writeup (again) but I figure it's just not worth worrying about. I'm going to keep my head low and observe. Maybe things will change for the better? Oh drama! And of course, my bank account is very sad right now. I really need to not be spending as much as possible.

    Good:
    I'm going to have like five days in a row or so off. Bad for my paycheck, but good for my sanity. And getting things done! And I'm finally getting some website progress going on. I can get back to working on cleaning my apartment and working out on the wii fit. I'm seeing my therapist on Friday - haven't had an appointment in a month, so there's a lot to catch up on. My dad is actually making shelves for my artwork in the basement, and they're actually kind of decent. Nice to see things go in the right direction for a change.

    Sharing is Caring:
    @Fauxhammer: I hope you get well soon! And glad to hear that there's progress going on with the novel. Yay!

    @JP Carpenter: Glad for the baby bonding. Wish I had useful advice for fixing stuff up, but I'm no good at that stuff.

    @Comicbookbunny: I wouldn't even know how to deal with what you're going through. Though your "vague" project descriptions sound totally badass.

    @mister hex: Kudos to not being beat up yet? This is me guessing here, but it feel like you've got a lot of pent up frustration/rage/whatever that needs a bit of venting? I wonder if there is a way you could get all of that out, with all the bad shit you've been having to deal with, especially lately. Delighted to hear that your Sanctum is becoming fabulous, and that you're in demand. Being in demand sounds like a nice feeling.

    @razrangel: It amazes me how much you put up with at that theater. Is there any way to put your foot down there? That said... the fact that you are still managing to work on your own personal stuff is great! It might not seem like enough, but keep it up! You can do it! Maybe to make it easier, create a level of importance to the projects, and focus most of your remaining energy on the most important ones? I'm hoping the best!
  5.  (10956.8)
    The Boo-I reviewed for and gave my State end-of-course tests this week. Most of my students didn't bother paying attention and a lot of them did not pass. Fortunately, most of them failed at a high enough level that they get to take expedited retakes which means I get to pull all of them out of class next week (while I figure out a movie for the kids who passed to watch) and review with them all over again while sitting on the floor out in the hall and killing my back. I love teaching, but this is one part of my job that I really can't stand, testing sucks. And it scares the shit out of me that we have legislators who want to tie my students' test scores to my job evaluation.

    The Huzzah-My honors class did really well on their test and I was the teacher in the history department with the most perfect scores, 2. This tells me that I indeed don't suck as a teacher and that I did cover all of the content, and that there are some students who care about what they're learning. I also seem to be sticking with my 365 project and have some pretty good photos so far. And lastly, I've only got 2 lbs of holiday weight left to lose and I've almost made it to week three of my couch to 5K program.

    The Applause-@ComicBookBunny-Congrats on the many projects, being busy can be a pain, but it means that you're being successful and so I see it as a good thing ;) Hope all goes well.

    And I wish everyone else here well too.

    Day 5 The Bad side
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2013
     (10956.9)
    PROGRESS UPDATE - Still haven't been beaten up, which is good. Also, had a wonderful time with a very nice woman. I shan't bore you with details, as I am a gentleman but suffice to say, life is a wonderful thing, sometimes.

    Writing continues. I'm not bad at this whole "Quality Lit" thing. It helps somewhat that I don't take anything seriously. TOO seriously. (Yeah, I have fans. I can hardly believe it but there it is.)

    Not much bad at the moment. That will certainly change, not for the better but why worry? Why wonder?

    @cara- nice to see you again! You always struck me as a fine educator.
    @ everyone else - you people are My Tribe.
  6.  (10956.10)
    Huzzah: I have returned and escaped hospital captivity. Also ordered a new crapphone that will hopefully work better than the current one that freaked out on crisis day adding a lot more drama to things by disconnecting phonecalls a lot and not letting me answer them! New doctors are like crazy supportive and I have a LOT of therapy and new meds and shit. New meds are hot pink, so no more vanishing tiny white pills into the carpeting....
    Boo: Stepdad is a jerk; but that's nothing new. Stomach also hasn't been not upset since Crisis event, :P But at least I'm allowed caffiene (Which goes in Huzzah I guess?)
    Applause: dunno where to start with this. Just want to give everyone e-hugs, thanks for the emails and texts and stuff while I was gone (Didnt have access to the phone so I couldn't answer or read anything until friday). Still reading through everything and getting back into the swing of RL, the Internet, etc.
    • CommentAuthordnewling
    • CommentTimeJan 13th 2013 edited
     (10956.11)
    The Boo: Shoulder hurts like hell. I think my old shoulder wrench injury has flared up again. I shall have to sleep in the lazyboy again because the shoulder makes it difficult to sleep in bed.
    The Hurrah. I booked in some massage therapy and can hardly wait for it! Trouble is, my appointment is not until tomorrow.
    Fauxhammer: Keep on with that novel! Are you going to publish it as an ebook or going for printed copy?

    Update: shoulder is feeling better, but I am still going to keep that massage appointment.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2013
     (10956.12)
    The Starting Again

    Since being made redundant last year I'd basically just been sitting around relaxing and trying not to think about having to get back to the working world at some point. My pay out was good enough to be self sustaining for at least a year, possibly longer if I force myself to be frugal, so there wasn't any real need to panic and leap into a job straight away.

    But my word the boredom strikes after a while doesn't it? I've picked up a whole bunch of reasonably expensive Mac gear and decided to start teaching myself how to code for the iPad. I don't have any specific goals just yet, game design is something that I tend to mess about with a lot before settling on something, but just being back in front of the keyboard tapping in code (even if it's just tutorials and basic 'Dummies' book stuff) is scratching the itch and improving my mood somewhat.

    The Not Quite Right

    I am, however, becoming increasingly sure my head isn't quite right. I've never had any proper discussion with a medical professional about the way my brain sometimes feels so I've no idea if this is mild unipolar or bipolar depression, or even something else entirely.

    I have days where minor details lock my brain into long periods of worrying. For example, my heating is running all day at the moment cause it's cold and this flat is a crappy single glazed heat leaking mess. For some reason, if there's a gap of more than about 10 minutes between each run of the boiler (it flicks on and off rather than running all the time) then something in there makes a clicking 'heat expansion' kind of noise. I'm pretty sure there's nothing broken, it passed it's safety inspection in November and it's been doing it for longer than that, and I have a CO alarm (and the sheer stress over why I bought that is another story entirely) so I should just be able to ignore it. But I often can't. I have to work with headphones on some days so I can't hear it.

    Some days I just feel like staying in bed, just sort of staring at the ceiling for hours. Others I have to just get out of the house and walk and walk until my mind calms down and I can think clearly again.

    Part of my thinks this is just the stress of trying to go solo in game development getting to me, but I do wonder if I need to chat about this with my GP in case there's something more brain wrong going on.

    The Others
    @Cara - it really is utter bullshit how a teachers performance grades are tied so tightly to those of the kids. Some kids just simply can't be taught, and it's hardly fair to blame the teacher for that. Teachers in general get treated so badly these days, many of those I know who went into the profession have long since quit it.
  7.  (10956.13)
    Bad: Website/business stuff is at a standstill until printer sends proofs and prints. I've been waiting... well, it's not been a month - yet. I'm getting tired of being the nagging costumer. I actually want to spend money guys! Help me spend money on you by sending me proofs so I can order prints and stuff! Ugh. At least if I lived in the cities I could go to them face to face. I've also been a lazy butt and spent half a week at my parents loafing around and using the computer.

    Good: I submitted an application to be a bank teller, motivated by my crazy boss leaving a message on my phone that made no sense and me expecting the worst. And the message was only relevant to that day so I guess I'm not fired/written up or whatever? I think? The galleries are up at my website (reneeondine.com), and I have a shop at etsy, but it's not live yet, because I don't want to look like I have prints to sell when I don't - yet. Nothing is where it should be yet, but things are going where they should. At least I've gotten some shit done. I might be doing some data input for some people and getting paid for it?

    Others:
    @Cara: I could rant so hard about how mental the US public education system is (especially the students are bored as all hell/don't care and we actually expect them to remember stuff?) and I haven't been in HS for ... 9 years? And my understanding is that things are even worse. So sorry you have to actually try to deal/live with it. Glad you have an honors class though. At least they're interested, right? Crossing fingers for you.

    @mister hex: Happy to hear things are going in the right direction. Hurrah hurrah!

    @Rootfireember: New better Doctors! Colorful pills! Better phone! Yes! I'm hoping you get more control of your life with your new doctors' help. You're worth it.

    @dnewling: woo massage!

    @Flaybo: Considering that I'm generally underemployed, I do know the feeling of having too much time on my hands. Glad to hear that you are using it to learn to do cool things. I hope that you get a handle on the crazy. I've found that change of location tends to help - sometimes doing something as simple as going to a coffee shop or library really helps. Best of luck!
    • CommentAuthor256
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2013
     (10956.14)
    @Flaybo - if you feel like you might need to seek help - always, always do it.

    (I was going to elaborate on this, but that's basically it. And maybe just remember that you don't have to take any of the treatment routes they suggest, if you don't want to.)
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2013 edited
     (10956.15)
    JUST PLAIN ROTTEN! - Been feeling ... a lot like Flabyo the last few days. Work on the Sanctum has stalled almost entirely and I've been enjoying the sound of my own fucking voice a bit too much. I feel overwhelmed by stupid quotidian tasks that, were I in a better frame of mind (or any kind of mind at all), I'd snap off in a trice and have time for a cup of tea. Oh, and I broke my glasses, BOTH PAIRS and completely botched the repair on one pair so they're bound for the ceremonnial eyeglasses shrine I "maintain". The other pair I managed to salvage but it now looks like I have an antenna the picks up Rigel-7, whilst simultaneously filtering out harmful cosmic rays or something.

    OH, IT'S NOT AS BAD AS ALL THAT! - .... my glasses actually look kinda cool. I needed new ones anyway and these were fairly cheap so I could live with 'em till I actually GET A RAISE (I'm supposed to "act surprised") so I'll have some extra money plus it's my birthday soon, my dad'll kick in a few bucks. Anybody makes any snarky comments, I'dd just babble on like David Tennant for a bit about tachyons and stuff and then I'll punch them in the throat.

    I have another date on Friday night. Pizza and a western over at her place. (She likes westerns.) So that'll probably be a lot of fun. (Having seen her wine cellar [not a euphamism - she has a wine cellar], as well as her capacity for alcohol, I'd daresay it will definitely be a lot of fun.) We've been chatting pretty much all the time and I find my thoughts drifting back to her, quite frequently. So that's nice, it's been a while since I thought about someone a lot.

    GETTING SOFT IN ME OLD AGE -

    @Flabyo - Yeah. I get it. Sucks. My problem is INaction- I just sit there and go "whaddamIgonnado?". I'm now Chief Cook and Bottlewasher. I feel like Uncle Charlie from My Three Sons. No wonder William Demarest was so irrascible. Chin up, ol' mucker.

    @ roo - glad to see things looking up. That trend will continue.

    @trini - ya take the good/ ya take the bad/ ya take 'em both / and then you have .... what? Hope you get the job, honey! Fingers crossed for ya!

    @ everyone else (there's a lot of lurkers and people I forgot. I blame all those pesky concussions.) - "The French have a saying - 'Chercez le jambon.' 'Look for the ham'. Loosely, it means the ham is worth finding. Any vegetarians, feel free to replace 'pamplemousse' for 'jambon'. " Au revoir.

    EDIT TO ADD - ALMOST FORGOT - THIS!


    YEAH.
    •  
      CommentAuthorGreasemonkey
    • CommentTimeJan 17th 2013 edited
     (10956.16)
    WHO'S THE BOSS

    Eyesight still messed up. Can't see a damned thing up close without reading glasses, where two years ago my vision was better than 20/20 in both eyes. Petrified of going blind

    BREAKING BAD

    Hugely productive January so far. I'm developing an idea with a view to making it into a business, and it's going extremely well.

    BATMAN ANIMATED ADVENTURES

    @Hex: need stuff like glasses repaired, drop me a note. I'm kind of a prodigy at fixing broken shit.

    @everyone battling depression: A mellow, high-CBD strain of cannabis (not the strong, spinny, euphoric/paranoid strains like White Widow, Chronic etc) can work miracles in low doses. Run a quarter-ounce through a coffee grinder until it's reduced to a fine green flour, then combine with four cups of dry cookie mixture. Add whatever liquid is necessary, stir well, then bake into a single slab on a cookie sheet. Cut into one-inch squares while still warm. The resulting cookies shouldn't make you feel very high, but the CBD will act as a strong mood lifter. Suggested strains are Northern Lights (awesome) and Purple Kush, but most pure indica strains will do the job nicely.
    • CommentAuthorSteve Toase
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2013 edited
     (10956.17)
    Shit flinging monkey
    Since my little boy came along my writing has slipped. Not his fault, just trying to get my sleep patterns in sync. I used to write every day, now maybe four times a week, though it's getting better. I'm currently working on this longer project. Most of my previous work has been short, flash fiction and I'm finding every time I write anything on this it feels either too short or like it is wallowing and, well, boring. I know I need to translate my style, which if I can be immodest I think works ok, to the longer form, but I'm not quite sure I've got it nailed.

    The cute owl fledglings.
    I love working at home. I love being around to see me boy and that I can put my work aside for a few moments to go and grab a hug and that in a month I'm going to be a stay at home dad. Also I've written some of my best work since he came along. I've had a story accepted into a magazine that has been on my target list since I started submitting fiction a couple of years ago. Life is sweet.

    The Petting Zoo
    @JP Carpenter As a fellow new parent I admire anyone walking this path. If anything like me you'll have found new soul in the house has changed everything and nothing, which is an odd tension. Are you looking forward to all the cool stuff you can introduce them too to?
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJan 18th 2013
     (10956.18)
    Bad: I've had tinnitus for like a week and a half straight now. I've always had it, but it's usually low enough I don't notice it or it comes and goes. Though it's still soft enough that ambient noise drowns it out, last week it was bad enough it was giving me trouble sleeping. I was genuinely worried I would never experience silence again.

    Still don't have a job, and at this point the wedding is coming up soon enough I'm tempted to just put off job hunting til after so I don't have to juggle wedding planning with adjusting to a new job, and I also don't want to have to ask for time off right off the bat from being hired. But then, I also don't want to be the lazy sod who's not job hunting :|

    Good: While still present, the tinnitus is less present today than it has been lately. I'm wondering if it was an effect of the weather since San Diego was colder this past week than we're used to. My skin is really dry as a result and my friend said she was having pressure headaches, so maybe I had pressure tinnitus? Today I got to experience silence :) While in the living room it suddenly occurred to me that neither the heater nor the computer fan were running and there was no ear ringing/buzzing to replace them (unless I plugged my ears). While there was still minimal ambient noise, this was a real blessing for me and I soaked it in.

    Wedding planning is coming along nicely, met with out caterer and furniture vendor at the venue yesterday and plans are going swimmingly. I finally got a bar tender booked. just have to work on decorations and centerpieces now. Also my face has finished healing and is back to looking normal - no more huge, bright red, scaly patches scattered across it.

    Hugs: @Steve Toase - sorry you haven't been able to write as much lately, but it's also super rad that you're a stay at home dad. I'm sure your kid'll appreciate it when he's older. I was lucky enough to spend a lot of time with my parents when I was growing up and looking back on it I really appreciate it.

    @Grease - hope your eyes do okay! I have shit eye site but I've been near-sighted since I was a kid, so it's not as scary as going from 20/20 to bad eyesight in two years. I hope it mellows out.

    @Hex - Hooray dates!

    @Flabyo - Definitely seek help if it's on your mind. Was one of the best things i did for myself when my depression got really bad a few years back (right around when I joined WC, actually). Once you go you might find you don't need it as much as you thought you did, or you might end up using it a lot, but either way it's better than not going and wondering what's up.
    •  
      CommentAuthorVornaskotti
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2013 edited
     (10956.19)
    Haven't been in Whitechapel properly in a while, on account of a fuckton of things happening. Good things :P

    \o/

    Okay, I'm slowly starting to believe it: looks like the suck is over, and all the effort that culminated shortly before last Christmas paid off. After years of wrangling it looks like more or less everything - physical, mental and fiscal - is either already handled and in order, or heading there fast - and there was a bonus. The very day I decided to stop actively dating I got asked out by, let's call her Adventure Girl. In the less than month we've done an incredible amount of stuff together, from pretty awesome Helsinki underground tunnel exploration through gallery tours to gospel concerts, geocaching trips, cooking + scifi movie evenings, and what have you. There's an amazing amount of synchronicity with us, and feels like we managed to slip into each others' comfort zones in an uncanny way. Well, this is just the beginning and I'm very much trying to avoid getting ahead of things, but all the signs point to very good. Also, it's doubleplusgood that my happiness isn't hanging on this one good thing, it's just the icing and the cherry on top of a life starting to turn out all right.

    The year started with two weeks of AESD diving school. There's been doctors' lectures and illustrated barotrauma, some indoor training and then surface air training in a freezing mine lake. This has meant waking up at 5am and coming home at around six, with some work waiting to do, but I didn't really mind. It was all kinds of awesome to get to put on something that felt like a space suit and go hop around an alien landscape and move big ass blocks of concrete with lift bags.

    The new job starts on Monday, so far everybody I've talked to has said good things about working in that place. Experience has made me quite wary of getting too enthusiastic about a new job, but here the good pre-vibes coming from people are uncommonly strong.

    /o\

    My novel is due to be published in June. The third draft should've been ready by the end of the year, and now I promised I'll finish it by the end of this month. I just don't have the time an the mental space. A novel takes a shitload of RAM in my head and I never have the time to really suck it in as a whole, so I've tried to do corrections that feel mostly cosmetic and really superficial. That goddamn book is the last lynchpin to swivel my life around by and abandoning it or even postponing it is not an option. I'm sick and tired of forcing myself to do things by the skin of my teeth, and a novel certainly shouldn't be done like that, but gahh. Man's gotta do etc.

    My pinky hurts. I know, it's not really on the level of a gunshot wound or a sword cut on the pec, but what makes me worry about this a bit is that it might be decompression sickness. Or then I just sprained a finger that was totally numb from cold (which, by the way, increases the chance for DCS). Have been diving with wet gloves since I haven't had the money for anything else, and +1-2C (= ~16F) water does a number on your fingers. When they are numb, there's no proper circulation, the nitrogen doesn't evaporate = bubble time... I noticed the pain after some 15 meter dives where there was exertion. Sprain or DCS, fucking impossible to tell :/

    !!!

    @Flabyo: Go and have a chat with a professional. The weird thing about this is that sometimes just a visit or two can make an enormous difference, it really does happen quite often. And if not, that's not a failure either - need to take care of yourself, man.

    @Bunny: Go go go with the project, it is indeed awesome :) And uh, well meaning friends compounding a difficult situation by bringing their own insecurities there. Gah :/

    @mister hex: Hah, know that feeling - the amount of piss I give to people on a regular basis, it's incredible that I've had the shit kicked out of me only a handful of times :)
  8.  (10956.20)
    The bad
    Computer is acting up. Had to reinstall OS, and I didn't have a working DVD drive, so I had to go buy one. Now it seems I need to upgrade my OS (which is long overdue) but I am so far out of date I need to install slightly less out of date version (snow leopard) before I can upgrade to the current one.
    And now that I have disk of Snow Leopard, it's telling me I can't install it. Bah. Hate this kind of bullshit.

    The good.
    I'm transitioning into a killer job starting on Monday.
    It could be seen as a demotion, but it'll mean I return to editing tv full time. Editing is my passion, and before the current gig (in middle management) I was always a bit of an ass about how I liked what I did for a living. Truly loved my job.
    going to appreciate it this time, and not be so much of an ass about it
    Well, I'll be back at it starting on Monday with some training, then on to a couple of webisodes of a new travel show in Feb and then full out editing a scripted comedy series in March/April.
    Working on a scripted comedy has been my goal for 10+ years, so I am VERY excited about this.
    Show looks to be solid. It's low budget with a tight timeline (6 half hours in 8 weeks), but the producer has a good, realistic plan on how to make the show work and where he wants it to be this year, next year and the year after that.

    The Love
    @Hex: seems like been someone's sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
    @Faux - Hope you're feeling better at this point
    @Trini - Word drama is the worst! Its bullshit you feel you have to put with. Hopefully there is a way to avoid or resolve it soon.
    @Vorn - Things seem to be looking up! But please, get the hand looked at. I know a couple of people who waited to long to get minor things looked at, and they turned into much bigger things then they needed to be.
    @Everyone - apologies for the lack of personal note, but thanks for posting. Made my boring job a lot more interesting that last little bit.