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      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2013 edited
     (10956.21)
    :(

    - Managed to actually scare myself on Tuesday, which brought on sort of a lockdown mode on social media and other things until I got down to yellow alert.

    - Agreed to meet up with a new friend for drinks (a reader who I ended up seeing at a few beer events) and was looking forward to it until she told me at the last minute that she's bringing her partner. Her partner was the type of person who is pretty sweet but dreadfully shy and so therefore can only really communicate by practically having sex with her lover in front of me. Normally this wouldn't bother me too much aside from feeling alienated, but considering one of the causes of the depression I'm in right now (which my friend knew about) it...just wasn't something I could handle then and there. Nor was the view she held that monogamous people were victims of brainwashing by society and we'd all just be happier if everyone was polyamorous (have no problems with polyamory but DO have a problem with people who feel I'm an uncultured subhuman for being comfortable with monogamy). By the end of it the friend apologized for a terribly awkward evening and I apologized for turning in to a bit of a rude bitch. I don't think I'll be invited out by her again and am not sure I'd go even if I was.

    - Not sleeping much and when I do I get nightmares. Blargh.

    - Still waiting for call from clinic for the intake survey that will get me on the 3-6 month waiting list for counselling. Finding it weird that I'm on a waiting list to get on a waiting list.

    :)

    - Am now on Yellow Alert.

    - Ordered all my ingredients for the beer (which I'm calling Manor House Intrigue). With luck I'll be brewing it next weekend. Picked up some dried chamomile flowers for it (I'm adding about 1oz to the beer while it boils) and dear GOD it will add a nice sweetness to the aroma and taste. Really looking forward to it.

    - Went to the gym for the first time since August this week. Felt amazing.

    - Losing weight is slow going, but it's starting to go down. Phew.

    :D

    @trini ugh, work drama. Your boss sounds crazy. Hope you get the bank teller job!
    @Flabyo, when in doubt, seek help. Good luck.
    @Peter, ugh computers acting up. My iMac's DCD drive went kaput in the summer. Stupid things...
    @argos, keep us posted on the tinnitus. Hope it goes away soon.
  1.  (10956.22)
    @oldhat-be patient on the weight loss, if you lose it slowly it has a better chance of staying off in the long run.
    • CommentAuthorDarkest
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2013
     (10956.23)
    Steps backward: Haven't been sleeping properly (though i'm working on that), Health has been bad for a while, lack of proper exercise activity and clawing my way out of bad habits for the umpteenth time. Now the snow is gone the ground is a god damn walking hazard. Round here. Haven't revised as much as I should for driving theory test. LUXury problems though.

    Steps forward: My god for the past few weeks I have been content, or happy or something. The Joy has returned leaving me to focus on the important things. Shop is ticking away nicely even If Diamond could stand to hurry the F up with my comics. I have a Young Avengers craving. Will be 5 and twenty on tuesday. Also there is a girl I like who I'm friends with (She has this long copper red hair...) I asked her out at new years eve and she said she'd think about it (!). Given that I've literally had ZERO experience in the whole romance/ infatuation field this goes solidly in the win column.

    Also I was listening to an old interview and my voice doesn't sound too bad.

    Around the world:

    Perceiver Whitechapel, wouldn't know what I'd do without you guys.
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2013
     (10956.24)
    GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA! FLASH! DATELINE!

    SHITSVILLE! - Could've gotten laid last night. Didn't. Could've. Kinda fucked it up.(No pun intended, believe me.) We had a lovely time but upon chatting today, she sensed I was tense and said I should relax. She said this a few times. She's a remarkably intelligent and perceptive woman. She calls me a weirdo and says she is attracted to me. She said some other perceptive things. So I'm not sure if this is a bad thing or just because I'm kicking myself because I got invited to dinner and didn't eat, metaphorically speaking. Short answer is "I'm an idiot who's waaay outta practice." Get that confidence higher, soldier! That's a bloody order!

    AWESOMETOWN - ... is where I LIVE, man. REAL concrete progress on the Sanctum - oh - just glancing around me - one small wee corner and then it's ready. READY. (I have a Silver Surfer Action Figure. And an Abraham Lincoln Action Figure. I have spinner racks and excellent comics. I have shelf porn like y'all never fucking SEEN, man.

    Hooked up speakers today (FINALLY!) AND SO NOW CAN HEAR MUSIC THE WAY IT IS MEANT TO BE HEARD. A small victory, m'sieur. Grant me one small victory.

    Also? I think I have an ACT. Like, something I could do ON STAGE. Stand-up-ish but very conceptual. It plays upon my facility with accents. Posh, Received Pronounciation versus ... well, normal people talk, for lack of a better term. Which is kind of the act in a nut-shell (no pun intended, believe me). The Posh Git has his head in the clouds all the way up his arse and the batman(note the lower case - en't that KIND of Batman, sorry!) is the voice of sober logic. Well, logic, at any rate.

    MAILBAG!

    @ oldhat - Can't wait to sample the Manor House Intrigue.
    @Peter Kelly - WHISKEY. IN THE SANCTUM. SOON. SOON! (Also, Ian's - Feb 23rd, we're shooting for.)
    @Darkest - nice one, mate.
    @Flabyo - the Tribe has spoken and the Tribe is probably right.
    @Vorn - Go to a fucking doctor, for fuck's sake. It's probably nothing but why wonder.
    @everyone else (and you all know who you are) - May the Source be with you.
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeJan 19th 2013
     (10956.25)
    @Oldhat, crossword puzzles help me get out of my own head. I'll repeat to myself that I'm going to be okay and then try and get myself to do crosswords, since they require me to think. If you're not a crossword person. try sudoku. Something like that.
    • CommentAuthorDarkest
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2013
     (10956.26)
    @mister Hex- Cheers.
    •  
      CommentAuthorallana
    • CommentTimeJan 20th 2013
     (10956.27)
    Patrick, sounds like you'll get another shot. This time you'll be READY!
    OMG call me and tell me EVERYTHING, let's gossip like teenage girls.


    The ups: This is the first weekend I haven't spent a day and a half doing house-repair-type things and the rest of the time doing laundry and catching up on my sleep. Admittedly I spent all last week going to bed at 9pm because my body couldn't get its shit together.

    The downs: My body can't get its shit together? Think I'll start hitting the gym after school so at least I'll have an excuse to pass out like an old granny. I'm already behind on school reading because of it. But, meh. My marks are quite well-ish, and I'm not worried.

    The somethings: Next week I'm getting a roommate. By that I mean a bedmate, by that I mean my boyfriend is moving in with me. From another city. To here. To be with me. Uhhhhhhm. We'll see how that goes.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeJan 23rd 2013
     (10956.28)
    ...

    Well, this is kinda of unfortunate. I had been planning to move in with a buddy in Towson, Maryland, which while only two hours' drive north of where I'm currently living, was more than far enough away from northern Virginia for my purposes. With the exception of some cool co-workers and an endlessly awesome and understanding roommate and friend, this place really has not been terribly good for me, emotionally or financially. I was looking forward to getting out and discovering somewhere new, even if that new place was just a small city outside of Baltimore.

    Unfortunately, the guy I was going to move in with currently has a roommate. That guy had previously said he was going to move out, and this would have been great, because he's kind of an irresponsible crazy person with an equally irresponsible crazy girlfriend, and he hasn't made life all that easy for my buddy and prospective roommate. So, naturally, the guy reneges on his word, and decides he's going to stick around until August, and due to the terms of their lease, there's sweet fuck all my buddy can do about it. Now, I can stick out another six months here, but still. I was hoping for an adventure, even just a small one like moving to a new town.

    !

    On the other hand, I started publishing my novel online, and I've been getting a lot of really nice feedback from readers, both old friends and people who were just trolling the "writing" tag on Tumblr and happened across it. No matter how bad a day I've had at work or no matter how depressed I feel by just sitting around the apartment, a nice comment on that damn book makes me the happiest person on the planet, if only for a little while. It's even more marvelous to consider that as recently as ten years ago, something like this just would not have worked.

    " "

    oldhat: I've said it elsewhere, but I'm gonna say it again - that beer you're making is going to be awesome, and I'm gonna do everything in my power to get up there and snag a bottle once it's ready.

    Mister Hex: Lack of bedspring-squeaking aside, it sounds like you had a good time with a cool gal, and knowing that makes me smile.

    Allana: I wish you and your roommate/bedmate/boyfriend the best!
    •  
      CommentAuthortaphead
    • CommentTimeJan 23rd 2013
     (10956.29)
    Been a while since I've last done this, due to see below.

    -

    My seasonal funk was once again deeper than on previous years, and exacerbated by thoroughly abysmal finances. November was the pits, and oh hey! depression! thanks for showing up and making me not want to get out of bed ever. The lack of romantic involvements certainly hasn't helped. I'm beginning to forget what other people look like without their clothes. Boo, hiss. It would seem more than a bit reserved and slightly depressed fellas aren't in high demand, who knew?!

    I feel like 2012 was -- apart from the absolutely thrilling American journey -- the year where I lost the plot, so to speak. Stuck in a rut, not getting anywhere, etc. (And, to sorta reiterate the earlier point, I still think that sleeping alone is the most stupid thing a human being can do with their time, and that's not an exaggeration.)

    +

    A few weeks back I had a chat with my employer/landlord and that generated such a tremendous feeling of relief that I think the change in atmospheric pressure disrupted weather patterns. Long story short: slate cleaned, and a new apartment smack dab in the center of the city with a better floorplan and cheaper rent. And a basement storeroom large enough for me to totally convert into a guerrilla workshop, so I guess I'll actually start designing and building more guitars! (Which is fitting, I suppose, since the area is occasionally referred to as the Design District. Nothing but hipsters and design boutiques, but I think I'll survive.) The Barry was a pretty awesome first baby, and it actually spawned a few orders right off the bat...

    Also, a friend clued me in on the February Album Writing Month thing, which spurred me on to announce that Taphead Album #2 (titled PEARL) will be coming out in March. So there, now I have a deadline. This is the cover for reasons.

    !

    @Hex - I look forward to one day stumbling drunkenly into the Sanctum. Also yay ladythings!
    @Roo - I'm sending you best wishes so hard it's ridiculous.
    @Robin - Major transitions (be they related to occupation, relationships or whatnot) are rough, and you've had them do a nasty pile-up. Small steps, maybe? Anyway, very many hugs your way, my dear. (Also BOO at proselytizing polys, BOO.)
    @Allana - Thumbs up for the arrival of bedmate!

    @Everyone -



    Hope this finds you well,
    R.
  2.  (10956.30)
    BAD:

    SEVERE lack of money, and it taking three months to pin down a doctor willing to do much needed medical tests and now not getting said appointment until the end of February. Also, there's a lack of sex and I'm not sure how indefinite that might be. Which is tragic.

    GOOD:

    So far this month, I've seen: Mummenshanz, and in doing so fulfilled a dream of childhood; The Relatives (psych-gospel) while volunteering at a mini-record fair for WFMU, which was amazing in that they got EVERYONE in the venue to actually dance (which just doesn't happen in NYC anymore); and Neurosis at the Brooklyn Masonic Temple, a venue I'd never been to before, and afterwhich my ears were ringing into the next day.

    I also went to the James Jean art opening (the first fancy art opening I've been to in my adult life!), and then just today I attended a screening of the animated Dark Knight Returns adaptation, which was AWESOME, because Andrea Romano was there.

    Through my recent volunteering at my beloved NJ radio station WFMU, I've met (and drank with) a handful of the DJs, and the station photographer. I've now managed to be partially in charge of updating a section of the website! Hooray!

    While it's taken me a long time, and it will continue to take time, I did get the fancy elite "only takes patients that he deems worthy and interesting" doctor to agree to take me to perform the very complicated and somewhat dangerous tests to see if I've got Myasthentia Gravis. I also have an appointment to go back to the Genetics doctor in February.

    OTHER:

    @trini- Good luck with the website wrangling. I'm in much the same boat.

    @JP - my dad was much the same way. When my little half sis was born, for months he was just poking at her asking "when is she going to be fun?!"

    @Roo - Supportive doctors who see that your family isn't helping you are SUCH a fucking godsend. Hooray!

    @Hex - Hendrix is always a good idea.

    @oldhat - weightloss sucks. I got the fellow to try the kind of diet that I try to adhere to. He went to the doctor after three months, and he's down nearly 20lbs. Me? half a pound. WITH medication. Dammit.

    @taphead - send me your mailing address.
  3.  (10956.31)
    SO. I'll start this off with the bad:
    My stepdad is bonkers, and is hell-bent on blaming everything on me, and saying nothing I do will (ever) be good enough,how he wants my money since I obviously have it hidden somewhere (Because all poor folk have scrooge mcduck swimmingpools of money), how I should read his mind, etc etc. Total lack of sanity in his rants. It really feels like there will be a divorce between my mom and stepdad soon; as when he's not freaking out about me, he's freaking out at my mom. Which adds to my stress, and yeh. Not good.
    It was bad enough that in adition to spending some time at a friend's for most of the night before last, that I had to leave at dinner time last night, and have been staying away from the house since then.

    TheGood
    Going to be spending most of my time away from the house, and at a friend's house, whenever I can; and my shrinks and therapists and stuff are trying to keep me sane and if not happy: more stable.

    Trying to sort out what I'll sell at my Etsy store, got another scarf finished (YAY ONLY TWO MORE TO GO), and generally trying to take time to try to see the good in life. I'm trying to figure out things I can do that ARENT tourism dependant.
    ALSO: Our area is trying to get mental health first aid courses started :)
    http://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org

    @Hatter
    Glad you're out of lockdown mode.
    @Alan
    -YAY WRITING
    @Rach - good luck with the tests. I'm hoping and crossing my fingers that things do get better for you, and the doctor stuff gets sorted out, and they can fix the stuff that's been bothering you somehow.
    @taps- Be sure to put up pics of the instruments and stuff you make :) :) :)
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeJan 24th 2013 edited
     (10956.32)
    Fucking lost my post and I'm out of time here, so I'll have to fill this spot tomorrow. Anyway, I'm still alive!

    Later!
  4.  (10956.33)
    Hmmm. Seems like a good time as any for an update. But first, to everyone else:
    As far as I can tell, I didn't get the teller job. Teh suck. But for the moment, the drama isn't too bad, and I got myself a second (but very part time) job doing data entry/shipping assisting/general computer things for a guy who is selling stuff via etsy, and his wife who was doing the business side of things can't anymore. Probably still to get back on the job search wagon (boo), but it should help a little with finances.

    @mister hex: Glad things are going with the lady. I'm sure you'll have a second chance. If she's anything like me, she'll end up pouncing or being super obvious if you don't get on with it soon enough.

    @Greasemonkey: Aside from the expense (etc), doesn't weed tend to make you want to eat a shitton and lay about doing nothing? Those are two things I need to avoid if anything, so while the weed might help some people, I imagine it would just make things worse for others ultimately. Unless that kind of weed has a different effect? That said, glad to hear your art is selling well and sad to hear your vision is not doing so well. I hope you figure something out with your eyes.

    @Steve Toase: Glad that parenting is being a joy for you. I imagine with time you'll figure out a new routine for the writing.

    @Argos: I wish I had sensible life/time management advice, but well, I don't. I do hope that whatever happens, the wedding and everything else goes fabulously. Also, looking forward to all the photos.

    @Vornaskotti: Holy shit get your pinky checked out dude. Other stuff sounds great/you can do it, but that pinky stuff is freaky.

    @Peter Kelly: I hate it when computers are finicky. But, job awesomeness woo hoo! That's super exciting.

    And now I need to run, so I'll have to do a part two tomorrow.
  5.  (10956.34)
    @Trini: There are two main psychoactive compounds in cannabis, Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and Cannabidiol (CBD). THC is more abundant and causes most of the recognized 'stoney' effects of smoking weed (munchies and laziness included), while CBD actually appears to have anti-psychotic and anti-depressant properties. The idea for therapeutic purposes is not to get high, but to consume small regular doses of CBD as a mood stabiliser. But yeah, the effects of cannabis can vary widely depending on the individual and on the strain of weed (there are at least hundreds, possibly thousands of different strains due to growers selectively breeding plants in the search for a better high). It can be extremely beneficial in some cases, but not all.
    •  
      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2013
     (10956.35)
    The week as was - theatre, more theatre, theatre training, then voice acting practice then more theatre, also bleaching my hair, then bleaching it more, then dyeing it...not dyeing it more because I'm out of time, out of money and fucking sick of dealing with my hair (but it could use more dyeing), cooking for the family, a million and one problems getting back to the theatre and making everything go right, drinking, cleaning up after everyone at the theatre, and finally getting back to the couch away from home.

    Up down and sideways? Uh. Let's see.

    Up: I haven't had a wild color to my hair in a long time. The bleached copper-blond was actually pretty shocking but I don't look good in it. But it was startling enough to be fun. But I wanted purple so onward with the dyeing. (I didn't get purple and it was a pain in the ass and began the fall of several dominoes leading to feeling down in the dumps, but I'm trying to keep this part cheery.) Mom is making some rumblings about buying me a new laptop computer. I could really use it. But I almost could really use a smart phone even more - I've been salivating over the Galaxy Note 2 since November - since my current phone is a Razr that's not even as good as my no-longer-produced Samsung flip was before I dropped it. ARgh... sorry, trying to find silver linings and I keep getting distracted by clouds.

    I have generous friends that still let me crash on their couch. I've fallen asleep to the sound of rain the last couple of nights. I made spaghetti yesterday and my niece came in while it was cooking and told me she loved the smell and gave me a hug. I have both seasons of Ghost in the Shell and the Solid State Society movie now. I kept pushing myself forward. Didn't get productive, exactly, but I was never just lying around.

    Down: The blues have been hard to fight off. Not the good Motown, Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson stuff, I mean depression lite, that's just stupid whiny, self-disgust, stressed, anxiety-riddled, find all the bad and ignore any good shit kinda blues. There's a lot of broken crap in my life, or shit that falls well below spec. But on top of that my brain has to go and remind me at every second how much my life sucks and how I suck and how it'll never be any better for me and how I should just give up now because fuck it.

    It doesn't help that shit hasn't been great. The hair didn't turn out the way I wanted. Fucking figures. Dealing with it all week meant skipping any effort to work out because sweat undoes so much prep work. Ended up making spaghetti because it was impossible to get the family together otherwise, and still brothers couldn't attend. And sis and my mom yelled at each other most of the way through and mom just yelled more when I clapped my hands over my ears and dad took that as approval to be a passive aggressive jerk and we're all just fucking dicks in my family and I'm afraid I'll forget how to not be a dick and I'll only be good at yelling like my mom because that's the only way to get people to take me seriously because when I try to be patient and reasonable people think they can just be cute and trample my boundaries and ignore my limits and demand more of me and when I ask them not to go there they think they'll just go there through a different route because I can't actually mean they shouldn't go there, right? And so they go there and I get fucking pissed and then they get pissed that I got pissed and I think if I had just raised my voice at the beginning instead of trying to be understanding we wouldn't be here and I can't remember which is better, to work for peace and harmony or to be RIGHT, GODDAMMIT.

    Tonight was fucking hard at the theatre. Everything fucking went wrong. An actor was super super late and I should have realized it sooner and sent someone to get him. And the tech wasn't there for me but I had to brutalize it to get what I needed for the show. And the actors are chummy with each other and I feel a little frozen out but it's seriously not their fault, I just am not One of Them and I'm just hurting myself trying to force it. And I'm stressed and tired because of everything and I just want to have a good time, but it's not coming because the bad brain is in effect and I want it to go away so bad I can't stop crying because it won't.

    Sideways: @Root *hug* *hughughug*
    @Fleck Always glad for signs of life.
    @Rachael - Andrea Romano is the shit!! I am always assured that her name means quality, her track record is friggin spotless! Naturally I dream of the say she'll cast me in something, but that day is far, FAR in the future. I got to shake her hand several months ago and just standing there she intimidated the heck out of me!
    • CommentAuthorchris g
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2013
     (10956.36)
    F*CK: Well a few days ago I don't know; maybe my eyes fucked with me because it was night and didn't bring my glasses, or I slipped up for a split second but I misjudged my exit on the freeway and slammed right into the curb that guides the exiting cars, drove over it and ended up in the on-ramp for incoming cars. Luckily no cars were coming so I pulled to the shoulder to see what the FUCK happened to my car. My two front cheapass hubcaps flew off and got lost and the right front tire blew out. I could've called AAA and waited but I'm stupid and thought I was close to home as it is. So it took about thirty minutes driving my trembling car back into town and knew of a tire place that wasn't closed and had them change my emergency tire for $10 bucks (and then got a replacement for $35 the next day). When I got home I felt like drinking so fucking bad but I'm so close to a year of not drinking so I calmed the fuck down and made some tea and crunched a couple of bayer aspirins. My steering wheel is off by a centimeter and I'm not fucking DEAD so I am glad about that shit. I assume after being shaken around inside a vehicle the body will feel fucked up but I feel regular and I did some wrestler neck bridges for a few nights to start strengthening those areas. That is probably my way of trying to get stronger from something that didn't kill me. Didn't make me stranger though =\

    YAY?: Other than that shit I only get to work at my old job for 2 days a damn week, the rest of the time I list whatever shit I don't need anymore on 3bay so I guess I am hanging in there.
    Also I started this new tumblr here so I can hit the ground running this year with ARTS and it's been fun for me so far. I can still do arts for the love & fun of my craft even though I know I realize I'm not good enough to 'make it' in comics or whatever the fuck. That sounds defeatist but it is one realization. Maybe I need to regroup and re-strategize a way to forge my own path in comics. Never ask permission! Anyway, feeling pumped about drawing and art and making MOAR all the time.

    Hey, YOU!: Roo: Glad you are safe at a friend's place and getting help. We care about ya!
    Oldhat: good luck with the weight! At the beginning of 2012 I was at 187 but now fluctuate between 166-170 but that is probably because I quit drinking and getting burritos for lunch every other day. Now it's just tea and oatmeal because I'm extreeeeeeeeme!
    •  
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2013
     (10956.37)
    THE SUN IS SHINING - It is. Bright, cool but not the bitterly cold we've had recently. Sky blue as a robin's egg, distant wisps of clouds. No wind. Nice.

    Had a date last night. When it was dark. A lovely meal (scallops wrapped in double-smoked bacon, shrimp, tomato and bocconcini salad, baby spinach greens with orange slices, cheese, smoked salmon, wine). We never actually got around to watching the movie. Neither one of has any tattoos. A good time was had by all. Several good times, as a matter of fact. In addition to being INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT (youngest female Full Professor in Canada, I believe and up for a national position as
    head of some important academic body), an excellent cook (the aforementioned meal) and a genuinely GOOD PERSON, she is Our Type of People. I read her some of my poetry (YOU CAN STOP LAUGHING! I HAVEN'T LOST MY EDGE!) and it was very well received. So you can all stop worrying about me, I can hit a small object that is thrown at me with great force and lob it over the horizon like a Soviet potato.


    THE SUN IS SHINING.

    "IF THEY MOVE? KILL 'EM!"

    My computer is fucking up. And for every step forward, I seem to take three steps sideways, one back, fall down, hurt myself and then get up and take another step forward. I really gotta stop falling down so much. Also, conquered the Lingering Mongolian Death Flu but it seems like a pyrrhic victory, at best. There's something wrong with my foot. If IF it is what I think it is, my posts shall become increasingly morose.

    Her perfume is still all over me. She even drove me home. Ah, life. You don't ALWAYS suck, do you?

    TO ALL MY FRIENDS!
    @roo- sending good love and energy. We all care about you, very much and want only the best for you.
    @trini - weed's not for everyone. Neither are pills.
    @chris - hope you and your car are okay! That we came THIS close to losing the creator of SPACE SHARK is a thought I'd rather not entertain.
    @oldhat - yer the best, baby. Never forget that.
    @flecky - keep goin, me son. Nice to hear from ya.
    @everyone else - I love you all.
  6.  (10956.38)
    Time for part the second.
    @Greasemonkey & mister hex: Good to know that there are variations of weed that have different results. Would that type and usage of weed work for me? Maybe. I think I'd rather stick with the pills for now though. If the weed works for other people, that's great. Ultimately, I'm glad I got the added information anyway - I prefer to know why a certain method works, and what the downsides are, and if the typically assumed side effects apply. I'd be just as skeptical with a doctor prescribing anti-depressants without going into detail about the side effects, especially if they are commonly known to add to the problems that add to the depression (Prozac can cause weight gain, a lot of SSRIs make you tired, etc). I've lost my creative drive, and I'm fairly certain a good chunk of it is the meds I'm taking, but I'm willing to give that up for now if it means I can work on fixing the rest of my life.

    @oldhat: Your friend sucks. You deserve to be treated better. If she makes you feel alienated by her opinions even when you're in a good mood, I think she's the rude bitch, not you. I hope you spend more time with friends who actually know how to act like friends.

    @Darkest: Good luck with the redhead! Also, fucking snow, I hates it.

    @allana: I sleep like 14 hours a night if I'm allowed, so um... I think I'm more like a granny than you are. Not that it's a competition. Have comfort that you don't sleep about 14 hours a night? Best of luck with your roommate/boyfriend.

    @Alan: Gah bad guy not moving out grrr! Well, I hope the next six months aren't that bad. Glad to hear novel stuff is going well.

    @taphead: Sorry to hear that things are being shitty, especially in the lack of relationship area. This too shall pass? I wish I had clever ideas for that sort of stuff, but um... I'm a bit of a shut in a good chunk of the time.

    @Rachael: The WFMU stuff sounds fun. I'm crossing fingers for you that you get all the medical stuff sorted out.

    @Rootfireemeber: As shitty things are with your Stepdad and your mom, I am so glad to hear that you are getting away from that shit, at least sometimes.

    @razrangel: Keep at it, you are doing good work. I wish your family didn't fight so much.

    @chris g: Glad you're still with us. Stay safe.

    @mister hex: Woo hoo funtimes!

    Bad:
    My schedule has been in flux lately. A guy quit at the crazy job (no shock), people keep calling in sick, and sometimes I'm the one filling in. I generally don't mind, but one time I got a call at 8:45am that they needed me at 9am and I already had stuff scheduled that day and so I had to do some crazy split shift stuff to make it all work. It's also been crazy cold and there's been lots of snow and some of the places I have to drive involve windy roads. So my car has gotten stuck in the ditch twice (in one day!) and I should get new tires but I can't afford to. I also can't afford to call a tow truck either. I'm hoping the weather mellows out seriously, because this shit sucks. Winter cannot end soon enough.

    Good:
    More hours does mean more pay, so hopefully this means a better handle on my finances. Therapy seems to be going well, and I'm been feeling ok for a while now. Most everyone seems to be fairly understanding about the crazy of my job, so at least I'm not being blamed for it. And it seems that the crazy that is going on isn't focused on me at least. And according to the wii fit I've been using, I've lost some pounds. Hopefully I can keep it up.
    •  
      CommentAuthordorkmuffin
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2013
     (10956.39)
    @Rachael, I WAS AT THAT NEUROSIS SHOW. WITH JOANNE LEAH. AUGH WE SHOULD HAVE MET UP.
    •  
      CommentAuthorGreasemonkey
    • CommentTimeJan 27th 2013 edited
     (10956.40)
    @Trini: Weed is broadly classified into two species (there are a couple of others which are mostly used industrially for fibre production); the Sativa types which tend to have more THC and have mostly recreational effects, and the Indica types which contain more CBD and will probably dominate the therapeutic market once the pharma companies get the go-ahead. High-CBD indica strains can be very effective in the treatment of depression; my favourite heavy hitter is Northern Lights, which many Canadians and northern US residents consume as a remedy for winter depression. As for dosage, the recommended method is to start with a small amount (either smoked or eaten depending on your preference, say one drag on a joint or a quarter of a cookie) to let you get a feel for the effects, then gradually increase the dose until you feel your depression lift.

    LEAFLY is an excellent resource. It has reviews of hundreds of different types of cannabis, and a tonne of other useful info.

    @Hex: very happy for you, my friend.