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  1.  (10989.1)
    The REMAKE/REMODEL meme is one of my favourite things. Artists need a place to show off and Whitechapel should always be It. A handful of entries will be showcased on Bleedingcool at the end of each challenge.

    Pontifucks

    THE RULES:

    This is for ART ONLY. Any pen-portraits, or crappy scribbles padded-out with words, will cause a deployment of the Urethral Attack Maggots. And a banned account.

    No stock-photo manipulation. No half-arsed bollocks. Anything deemed to be piss-takery will be nuked from orbit. Original photography is fine.

    No more than ONE submission by any one person.

    In a slight twist to the regular rules, each image should be accompanied by a text caption of ONE SENTENCE ONLY, in the form of a note describing the portrait’s subject for All Of History. More on this below.

    INSTRUCTIONS:

    EXTRADIMENSIONAL PONTIFEX

    Yeah, it’s time to pick a new Pope.

    Luckily the papal conclave has taken the advice of the hip young brand-management firm it hired and grudgingly accepted that the extant College of Cardinals is a shower of corrupt withered gargoyles with dubious moral records and an unhelpful insistence upon secrecy. And smells faintly of pee.

    Even more luckily, the Vatican’s world-renowned Science Division has just successfully invented the means to travel between dimensions. ‘Huzzah!’ quoth the Cardinals. ‘Let us outsource to a new pope – an exciting pope, a strong pope, a pope to unite the world beneath the soothing guilt-infecting mantle of the Cult of the God-On-A-Stick and his Dear Old Mum – from across the myriad of realities!’

    YOU. Yes you. You get to choose.

    Will it be the charisma-emanating Pheremex III from the hormonal Vatisphere on reality DR3quark? The warlike BLOODMITRE IIX from the grim meathook FisherConquests of the 26th Century? Or homely Wendy-The-First, who got round the mean old “No Chicks” rule by eating a quantum wafer and transubstantiating into a vast genderless astral NunNebula (currently orbiting Saturn)?

    Your task: You, oh artist, have been charged with producing the first official Pontific Portrait.

    You will accompany it with a single line summary of your Pope’s magnificent reign, as if culled from the Annuario Pontificio, of the form:

    POPE’S TITLE & NUMBER; dates of reign; Pope’s place (and reality/timeline) of birth; notable act(s) or legacy of reign.

    You have two weeks.

    AMEN.
  2.  (10989.2)
    Ha! Oh wow... welcome back R&R, this is going to be something special
  3.  (10989.3)
    Ah... the days when small furry pontiffs from Alpha Centauri, were real small furry pontiffs from Alpha Centauri!
    •  
      CommentAuthorPaul Sizer
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2013
     (10989.4)
    Ladies and gentlemen, let's get blasphemous! Time to show people that Whitechapel can still light the fuse...
    •  
      CommentAuthorFoamhead
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2013
     (10989.5)
    Cardinal, poke them with the soft cushions!
    •  
      CommentAuthorcurb
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2013
     (10989.6)
    Sacrelicious! Can't wait to see what all you talented people turn in.
    • CommentAuthorIsaacSher
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2013
     (10989.7)
    I am SO checking on this thread every hour now.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJehrot
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2013
     (10989.8)
    Hooray!
  4.  (10989.9)
    Is the correct answer not X-Men nemesis and super-villain Mojo? Watch the smoke signals to find out!
    •  
      CommentAuthorMorac
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2013
     (10989.10)
    I'm not sure Mojo is disgusting enough for the job.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAlan Tyson
    • CommentTimeFeb 12th 2013
     (10989.11)
    That sounded like a challenge to me.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMorac
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2013
     (10989.12)
    I'm pretty sure I have some gauntlets here somewhere. I keep them around for throwing down.
    • CommentAuthordnewling
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2013 edited
     (10989.13)
    It's great to have the R&R challenge back. And I must say this challenge makes a change from remaking comic book characters or comic book concepts.

    But one piece of advice: be mindful of Catholicism and be careful not to submit anything that might offend, even unintentionally.
    •  
      CommentAuthorjohnjones
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2013 edited
     (10989.14)
    But one piece of advice: be mindful of Catholicism and be careful not to submit anything that might offend, even unintentionally.


    If that's the standard, no one's going to be able to submit anything. Hell, the title of this thread would potentially piss off a bunch of people art unseen. I mean, I get your point and people shouldn't go out of their way to piss off Catholics. But at the end of the day, R/R (and, really, all art) is about free expression and people being pissed off has to be a price we're willing to pay or there won't be any free expression.
    • CommentAuthordnewling
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2013
     (10989.15)
    I am sure nobody would intentionally piss off Catholics here, and certainly not with urethral attack maggots around. It's the unintentional pissing off I'm worried about. So I'm having to think really hard about mine.
  5.  (10989.16)
    But one piece of advice: be mindful of Catholicism and be careful not to submit anything that might offend, even unintentionally."

    Wow. You wrote that? Really? I think Si might have already done that here :
    has taken the advice of the hip young brand-management firm it hired and grudgingly accepted that the extant College of Cardinals is a shower of corrupt withered gargoyles with dubious moral records and an unhelpful insistence upon secrecy. And smells faintly of pee.Even more luckily, the Vatican’s world-renowned Science Division has just successfully invented the means to travel between dimensions. ‘Huzzah!’ quoth the Cardinals. ‘Let us outsource to a new pope – an exciting pope, a strong pope, a pope to unite the world beneath the soothing guilt-infecting mantle of the Cult of the God-On-A-Stick and his Dear Old Mum – from across the myriad of realities!’
    •  
      CommentAuthorFoamhead
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2013
     (10989.17)
    "Wow" just about sums it up for me, too. I've seen everything from hilarious to nauseating to profound on WC (occasionally all at the same time) but I think that was about the most surprising thing I've ever read here.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJ.Brennan
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2013
     (10989.18)
    Cross-Posting from Ryan S Thompson in Around the Net, no maggots were initially deployed: Not intentional

    But on the subject of religion in art, I think artists are perfectly within their right to piss off religions, the backlash may be the point. But artists should never have to worry about the unintended effects of their art when producing it. It isn't Thalidomide. Religion's tendency toward outrage is hair-trigger at best. Short of submitting pieces to some sort of bowdlerizing religious sensitivity board it would be impossible to avoid unintentional offense. Offense shouldn't come into it. In this R&R satire is part of the goal. Anybody that takes the papacy seriously would take some sort of offense.
    • CommentAuthordnewling
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2013
     (10989.19)
    Isn't there a character called Superpope? A cartoon character with the Vatican's blessing I think.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBeamish
    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2013
     (10989.20)
    I think you are thinking about Battle Pope. A Robert Kirkman/Tony Moore comic.