Whitechapel - Jokes2013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/
Lussumo Vanilla & Feed Publisher
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348880#Comment_3488802013-02-23T22:45:56-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Alan Tysonhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1299
So, a friend recently asked how I was liking my new haircut.
I told him, "well, it's growing on me."
Your move, Whitechapel.
I told him, "well, it's growing on me."
Your move, Whitechapel.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348881#Comment_3488812013-02-23T23:24:43-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00brittanicahttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2296
One of my favorites, I heard at a gig by a steampunk band. I may have been the only person in the audience to laugh at it:
How do you make a soul singer out of a duck?
Put him in the oven until ...
How do you make a soul singer out of a duck?
Put him in the oven until his Bill Withers.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348884#Comment_3488842013-02-24T00:47:20-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00tapheadhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2284
How many soundguys does it take to change a lightbulb?
"Sorry man, I don't do lights."
"Sorry man, I don't do lights."]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348887#Comment_3488872013-02-24T01:34:53-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Dextrahttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=279
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I'm not leaving.
I'm not leaving.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348890#Comment_3488902013-02-24T02:41:54-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00curbhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1334
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well, first the lightbulb must want to change.
Well, first the lightbulb must want to change.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348891#Comment_3488912013-02-24T03:24:20-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Purple Wyrmhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6726
What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
An ambulance. Seriously guys, he's got a freaking shovel embedded in his head!
An ambulance. Seriously guys, he's got a freaking shovel embedded in his head!]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348892#Comment_3488922013-02-24T03:42:57-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Cat Vincenthttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=447
Since this is Whitechapel, here's one of the filthiest jokes I know, said to be a favorite of Alyson Hannigan of Buffy fame:
How do you stop a dog humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck him off.
How do you stop a dog humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck him off.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348898#Comment_3488982013-02-24T04:59:19-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00BadBeasthttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=10877
What do you call a black man who flys a Jumbo Jet?
A Pilot! What are you, some kind of fucking racist?
A Pilot! What are you, some kind of fucking racist?]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=348965#Comment_3489652013-02-25T00:21:44-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00J.Brennanhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1028
How many Nice Guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw.
None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349051#Comment_3490512013-02-25T19:56:11-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00arcanerhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2374
And now a filthy joke for your enjoyment.
Rumor has it that the formula of Crisco is being changed.
Fisters everywhere are up in arms.
Rumor has it that the formula of Crisco is being changed.
Fisters everywhere are up in arms.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349056#Comment_3490562013-02-25T22:22:11-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Birds_Use_Starshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6144
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, quadriplegic boy get for christmas?
Cancer.
Cancer.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349057#Comment_3490572013-02-25T22:37:04-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Kay Orchisonhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=10078
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but I could never figure out how they got in there in the first place.
Two, but I could never figure out how they got in there in the first place.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349059#Comment_3490592013-02-25T23:37:43-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Morachttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=10266
I'm just going to leave this here.
]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349074#Comment_3490742013-02-26T07:40:02-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00magnusisasillynamehttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=10358
What's the difference between a truck load of sand and a truck load of dead babies?
You can't pick up sand with a pitchfork.
You can't pick up sand with a pitchfork.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349075#Comment_3490752013-02-26T07:40:22-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00magnusisasillynamehttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=10358
What's got two legs and bleeds?
Half a puppy!
Half a puppy!]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349079#Comment_3490792013-02-26T08:26:10-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00RenThinghttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=155
A man walked into a bar.
Ouch.
Ouch.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349081#Comment_3490812013-02-26T08:59:06-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00oldhathttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=75
The Bartender says "We don't serve Tachyons here!"
A Tachyon walks in to a bar.
A Tachyon walks in to a bar.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349083#Comment_3490832013-02-26T09:18:58-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00RenThinghttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=155
A piece of string walks into a bar.
The bartender shouts, "Oi, we don't serve your kind here!"
The string walks outside and twists itself into a bow before walking back in.
Pissed, ...
The bartender shouts, "Oi, we don't serve your kind here!"
The string walks outside and twists itself into a bow before walking back in.
Pissed, the bartender shouts, "Aren't you that string I just kicked out?"
"No, I'm afraid not!" the bow replied.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349089#Comment_3490892013-02-26T12:16:57-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Alastairhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=287
oscar pistorious wanted to change his bathroom door but his girlfriend was dead against it
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349095#Comment_3490952013-02-26T13:17:13-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00StefanJhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=961
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
"One for me," he tells the bartender, "and one for the road."
"One for me," he tells the bartender, "and one for the road."]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349096#Comment_3490962013-02-26T14:09:34-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00kmcleodhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=191
A grasshopper walks into a bar.
Bartender says: "Do you know we have a drink named after you?"
Grasshopper says: "You have a drink named 'Schlomo'?"
A baby seal walks into a ...
Bartender says: "Do you know we have a drink named after you?" Grasshopper says: "You have a drink named 'Schlomo'?"
A baby seal walks into a club.
How many old people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Ten. One to screw it in, one to hold the chair they're standing on while they screw it, and eight to stand around reminiscing about how nice the old bulb used to be.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349099#Comment_3490992013-02-26T14:41:31-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00mister hexhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4411
Robot walks into a bar. Bartender says "we don't serve robots."
Robot says - "Someday you will."
Robot says - "Someday you will."]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349101#Comment_3491012013-02-26T15:29:30-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Ben Klumasterhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=2723
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in, the other to hold the peni-fathe--shit.
Two. One to screw it in, the other to hold the peni-fathe--shit.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349104#Comment_3491042013-02-26T16:40:01-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00G. Foylehttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=3863
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
A stick.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349122#Comment_3491222013-02-26T21:01:37-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Mark Rhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=198
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Cause it was dead.
Cause it was dead.]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349127#Comment_3491272013-02-26T22:29:25-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Lazarus99http://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=3143
What's grey and comes in buckets?
Elephants.
Why do elephants have four feet?
Because, when you come in buckets, 8 inches just isn't going to cut it...
Elephants.
Why do elephants have four feet?
Because, when you come in buckets, 8 inches just isn't going to cut it...]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349132#Comment_3491322013-02-27T01:24:42-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Purple Wyrmhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=6726
Why did the possum fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the monkey
It was stapled to the monkey]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349178#Comment_3491782013-02-27T14:55:30-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00cjkogerhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=7065
@mark and @purple work. Haha. Oh God, thank you for instantly transporting me back to 7th grade.
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349395#Comment_3493952013-03-02T01:40:26-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00curbhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=1334
"Doctor, I'm having trouble with my hearing"
"Hmm, can you tell me more about the symptoms?"
"Well they're a yellow cartoon family, Homer is the father ... ...
"Hmm, can you tell me more about the symptoms?"
"Well they're a yellow cartoon family, Homer is the father ... "]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349429#Comment_3494292013-03-02T19:47:59-08:002013-03-02T19:49:50-08:00Paul Sizerhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=44
Told to me be Ramona D. Flowered (# 7exb, get it?), one of the Killamazoo Derby Darlins...
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing! They were both stuck up bitches.
I know, ...
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing! They were both stuck up bitches.
I know, I'm sorry...]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349446#Comment_3494462013-03-03T06:16:50-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00Finaglehttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=5254
So one day a hunter goes into the woods, looking for bear. Lo and behold, he manages to bag one. When he gets up close to the bear feeling triumphant, he feels a tap on his shoulder. A huge ...
A year passes. The hunter has trained and passed the year recovering from his trauma and becoming a badass. He ventures into the woods once more. Spotting the trail of his prey, he carefully and quietly stalks his trail, revenge on his mind. When he feels a tap on the shoulder. The grizzly is standing there. "Well, buddy, back for revenge are you? Well I'll tell you what, same deal as before...I open up your throat right now, or you turn around and bite the tree." Gritting his teeth, the hunter does so.
More years pass until the hunter has trained and equipped himself to Batman-like levels. Returning to the woods once more, he stalks his tormentor in the shadows for days, doubling back and laying many traps. As he places the last one, a tap on his shoulder. Mr. Bear once more. The grizzly looks down at the hunter and shakes his head.
"Say buddy, you don't really come here for the huntin', do ya?"]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349458#Comment_3494582013-03-03T12:21:56-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00mister hexhttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4411
So Sister Mary Wonderful is a nun in a small village and each day, she takes a stroll through the town, waving at everyone, smiling at the children and the shopkeepers and all who dwell under the ...
One day, as she's on her walk, she passes by an alley and a drunk jumps out as she passes and punches her RIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD
and says "YOU'RE NOT SO TOUGH, BATMAN!"]]>
Jokeshttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=10996&Focus=349461#Comment_3494612013-03-03T13:30:50-08:002013-05-21T09:55:24-07:00vandalhandlehttp://freakangels.com/whitechapel/account.php?u=4586
did you hear about the magic tractor?
it turned into a field