Vanilla is a product of Lussumo:Documentation and Support.
1861 to 1880 of 1895
I am vengeance. I am the night. I’m upset about the Batman version of “Jingle Bells.” You know, the one where children replace the normal chorus with one about me, Batman. I’m Batman.Not only are the lyrics insulting, they’re riddled with inaccuracies.Here are the traditional bat-lyrics:Jingle Bells, Batman smellsRobin laid an eggThe Batmobile lost a wheelAnd the Joker got awayHey!I will note the Hey! is optional. Let’s break this down line by line.Jingle Bells.That’s fine.Batman smells.You would think I’d have a problem with that line.YOU WOULD BE WRONG.Of course, I smell. I spend hours fighting, sweating, and bleeding in tight constrictive body armor. I am rank. I am like a thousand filthy locker rooms filled with a thousand wet dogs.I am your worst olfactory nightmare. And I like it that way.My goal is to strike terror in the hearts of criminals. I can’t really do that if I smell nice. I don’t want to pop out of the shadows, grab some punk, and then have them say, “Well, he looks scary but he smells like lavender.”That’s just stupid.I don’t want Catwoman to be able to track me through the city because she can pick up a faint odor of cinnamon and nutmeg.I’m not a fancy coffee drink. I’m Batman. Let’s move on.