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      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2013
     (11086.1)
    Yeah yeah resolutions are for New Years, to be forgotten within the first week of January.

    But! this year we're trying something different. This time we are - or I am, at any rate - going to check in and stay honest about how this shit is or isn't getting done. The only way to hack a life is to just fucking do it. So ...here goes.

    If you're new to these threads No sweat! Forget about January and New Year's Resolutions and all that crap and demand better of yourself today!
    ------------------------------

    FFFFfffffffffffuuuck. If it couldn't be more obvious by the great delay in getting this thread posted, May didn't go very well for me, in particular the last third of the month. In fact, I was doing quite well by mid-month and was even seeing some progress around. Damn. DAMN. I hate how I eagerly undermine myself.

    I'm scared to weigh myself because I know I dropped a couple pounds by the middle of the month and was even imagining I saw some definition in my extremities (where I lose fat first - as if that was what I needed! thanks, biology.) But it's come undone now and I'm deeply unhappy about it. I want to hit the gym a few times and eat salads before I dare go near the scale.

    Same minimum of Japanese.

    Was reading out loud for a little while but let it fall off shortly after attending a workout. The workout was fascinating. I noticed ages and ages ago that other people think I perform well when I feel out of sorts and uncomfortable. I come away thinking everything flubbed and then get congratulated. I'm still working out where to put that and what to with feedback. You'd think I'd be better at this - it's feedback I've been getting since high school. I have a few clues but I should do more than just think. *Sigh*

    Outside? Why would I want to go outside? Oy vey.

    *sigh* I hate accountability.

    You?

    ---------------------------------------
    Refreshers: Top of the Year
    Month 1
    Month 2
    Month 3
    Month 4
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJun 3rd 2013
     (11086.2)
    Exercise I finally started working out, huzzah! I'm still not quite at every day, and in fact I haven't worked out in 5 days now, ugh, BUT, for the most part I've been able to work out more days out of the week than not. Weight went down a few pounds and then up to where it was, pushups are still hard, but I can do jump lunges now and I can hold a top-of-pushup-position plank for 2 minutes, so there's that. Working on shoulder strength since I can't hold an elbow plank for more than 40sec before my shoulders start screaming.

    Practice making artStarted learning to draw, huzzah! Still not at every day practicing, but I'm for the most part chugging along and doodling and doing drawing exercises and trying to draw still life. Gonna do an art supply run soon to get a sketchbook and actual drawing pencils so I'm not only using a standard #2 mechanical pencil.

    I've not been making origami lately so, maybe once I get tired of drawing exercises I can go back to that for a bit to vary the arts I practice.

    Get a Job Paperwork for that temp job is still being processed but seems to be moving forward. Still not the the clear, though.

    The other two I've cleared - survive wedding planning (though I still need to send out thank you cards) and getting my driver's license.

    May was good for me, it saw a start in the goals I was lacking to start on. June is going to be more effort into making those solid habits as opposed to fleeting flirtations with good habits, and possibly (hopefully) learning to keep up those habits while also working. I know a lot of people can't seem the effort to workout once they get a job, and I worry that'll be the case for me since it's a physical job. Not physical enough to be a good workout, but enough that even on my 4-hr volunteer shifts I come home tired from being on my feet and bending over for 4 straight hours. Mostly the back is tired from cleaning out fish tanks.
  1.  (11086.3)
    Concrete:

    - Finish the novel.

    This is going well. The novel is in the publisher's summer catalogue, the covers are almost ready, and the editor is sinking her teeth to the language in a week or so. This looks like it's bloody happening.

    - Do another IF-game.

    Waiting for the book. This may end up turning into "start an another novel"...

    - Get my AESD research diver certificate.

    Still going strong. Been managing to do all the courses and trying to squeeze the time to work on our actual experiment which we're setting up.

    Personal:

    - Slow down, fucking finally.

    This is doing really really well. I've dropped most of my extracurricular unpleasant projects, gained a ton of free time, and promptly filled it up with awesome relaxing stuff to do. I love it when a plan comes together. Feeling all calm, collected and unstressed in a way I didn't think even possible. If this persists for a month or two more, I think this could be chalked under "done".
    • CommentAuthorsteevo
    • CommentTimeJun 4th 2013
     (11086.4)
    1) Get back to work on the novel - Failed at this in May.
    2) Do at least one short story every month - Finished this one, shopping it now.
    3) Start exercising more - Lose! Ungainlier than ever.
    4) Become a better public speaker - I'm working on this, slowly but surely.
    5) Quit smoking - Nope.
    6) Slow down the drinking - Noooooope.
    7) Read moar books. - About the same as April.

    @Argos - I also started learning to draw this month. Just bought like 12 pencils and 8 pens of varying characteristics. The local 'Hobby Lobby' (which I didn't even know was a thing until about 2 weeks ago) had a 40% off sale on all of their sketchpads so I bought 4 of them in different sizes and paper types. Coincidentally, I've been trolling around Whitechapel for the last two weeks (since I started teaching myself), looking for fodder to try to draw and one of the pictures I chose, was your pic on the Draw Each Other thread. Don't worry, I won't show it to you, you'd come to NJ and punch me through a wall. But thanks for inadvertantly helping me to learn. Drawing is fun.

    @Vornaskotti - All you do is win, win, win.
  2.  (11086.5)
    @steevo:

    I'd say that karmically I'm just getting some counterbalance for some really shitty years, and I'm grateful for every minute :)
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJun 4th 2013
     (11086.6)
    @Steevo - haha! awesome :) Don't worry, I drew my husband the other night and while I showed it to him as I progressed, I refuse to show him the finished product. I haven't gone into the Draw Each Other thread yet since I'm still trying to work off of still life. Glad I was able to inadvertently help you!
  3.  (11086.7)
    Finish Game: Started to get back into this. Doing some code revisions to clean it up a bit, changing how some of the UI works (long press to zoom now works on cards that can't be played, planning to change the whole targeting mechanic so that rather than clicking on target then clicking on card you'll just drag the card over to the target). Then it's implementing the Google Play Games stuff for multiplayer (which looks pretty straightforward, going by the documentation). I've also taken some other steps toward releasing it, like registering as a Google Play Developer, so Whisky Neat Games is now actually a thing (I still need to make a logo and stuff). Once the multiplayer stuff is implemented I plan on releasing a beta, so if you've got an Android tablet of some kind please add Whisky Neat Games to your G+ (remember that?) circles so that I can actually have beta testers.

    Get Job That Pays What I Deserve: Not having a lot of luck with this one. Been over a month and haven't heard anything from guy at other company re: position there, so I've pretty much lost hope that anything is going to come of that. Going to go to an IGDA-LA pre-E3 schmooze event next week to try and get myself out there a bit more, but I've never been fantastic at networking. Going to try to apply at some more places again. Giving serious thought to applying to companies up in the Bay Area, even though I really don't want to move up there. Dad has started to ask me to start paying rent, which is fair, since I've been living there much longer than either of us anticipated, but I still don't know what my average monthly net is with my current expenses. April and May were much further apart from each other, net income wise than I would've expected. I'm also looking at buying a health care plan out of pocket (since the one offered through the staffing agency was garbage and not worth what they were charging for it), which will take another chunk out of my net.

    Spend Time With Friends: Swings and roundabouts on this one. Been hanging with Miki and pals frequently, and my Thrilling Adventure Hour friends when I go to TAH. Still only seeing TOWIMWTS for a few seconds at lunch once a week or so. Which is still the high point of my week.

    Get In Shape: Still running most week nights, still trying to eat healthier. The sporadic heavy overtime weeks make this really hard to do consistently, since by the time I get off work I'm too burnt out to make myself a decent dinner or go for a run. Still going to the beach twice a week, but the bike ride plan hasn't happened yet because Sycamore Canyon is completely burnt out. No apparent sign of weight and/or girth loss, but I know if I stick with it it'll become a bit more apparent in another couple of months. Started a new route for the run that's a little bit longer and a little bit harder, so my stamina should increase better. The other problem is that I'm getting shin splints again, which makes running really hard.
  4.  (11086.8)
    1. Art goals (consolidated)
    I got a portfolio scholarship that will cover about half my tuition, which is fucking awesome. I also got a Pell Grant, which will cover another good chunk, so I only have about a third left to pay with my own money and/or federal student loans. I went to the school yesterday and gave my letter of intent. They gave me a t-shirt. I feel really good about all that.

    2. Reach target weight and get blood pressure in control.
    My pants are falling off, and I can wear all the ones I put at the bottom of the drawer a few years ago. I bought a belt. My blood pressure is acceptable, but not ideal.

    3. Plan my website for selling prints.
    My mom talked to a gallery owner in my hometown, and we showed her some of my work. She wants me to keep in touch (the gallery owner, that is, though mom probably also thinks I should call more). That's not website stuff, but it is nice. The website progresses not at all. Etsy occasionally sends me friendly emails about what I could do to finish my shop.

    4. Learn to drive, get my driver's licence.
    Starting to wish I didn't make this resolution.

    5. Socialize more.
    I took a trip to my home town with two of my favorite people, and I've started seeing friends every Friday to watch terrible and/or odd TV shows. I'm also applying for jobs, and that's kind of like socializing.

    @Argos - I like Dick Blick for art supplies. While the website doesn't have the visceral enjoyment of fondling all the papers and pencils, they have really good prices and frequent sales, and the customer service is excellent. I also recommend woodless graphite pencils. I love them so much. Their greater heft and smooth surface feels really good in the hand, and they give one greater flexibility and control over line quality and shading... I'm talking about art supplies with a creepy tone again, aren't I? Sorry about that. This is probably why the local Art Center hasn't called me back about my job application.
    • CommentAuthorArgos
    • CommentTimeJun 4th 2013
     (11086.9)
    I thought your tone of describing art supplies was just fine! Thanks for the recommendation :)
  5.  (11086.10)
    I thought I was jumping on late, but it turns out I'm really terrible at remembering resolutions, here's what I said in January:

    See more of my friends - Kind of done this, not quite as much as I'd like but getting there.
    Start up the vegetable garden - Done! Everything went in about a month later than it should have, but I am going to have enough garlic for everybody by autumn.
    Get this house finished the way we want it - vaguely possible, keeping plugging away.
    Sell more prints in new places - I've got an entire new direction on the go and there's at least one shop in Edinburgh interested, I'm getting a few more pieces together and then there will be mass bombardment of every print workshop and relevant gallery in the UK.
    Stop spending three hours a night on the internet - come on now, let's not get too hasty here.
    New one: Finish that kid's book - it's at least two years since I started this, and I've had a set of three-quarters finished pencils lying around for about a year and a half. Time to get the damn thing finished, right?
    I'll be back in November...
    •  
      CommentAuthorglukkake
    • CommentTimeJun 7th 2013
     (11086.11)
    1) My Own Projects - Seekrit Kickstarter project is to launch on 6/21. I have my item, am wrapping up all the film shooting on Sunday, just need to finish the mockups of additional rewards and it's sooooocloseeeee. I've shared with a few people what I'm working on and so far everyone is super excited. All I need to do is finish up everything in the next 2 weeks. Eep!

    For everything else, I've decided to just keep things on hold until the end of the month. Focusing on one project at a time seems to be the best way for me to actually get things done.

    2) Draw Something Every Day - Still no. I don't know why I can't do this on a daily basis. But also, I picked up a job colouring an entire graphic novel, plus I do sketches for the Kickstarter and then I've been picking up a number of side gigs... but I feel like these are all excuses and I should do better. Right.

    3) Stop Being Behind the Scenes - This morning I went to a TV casting for a friend's potential upcoming project. They liked me on film. Apparently all the practice doing public speaking and being in front of the camera is helping me. I'm still shit at putting my words in order and getting ideas out concisely but, it's a start. I'm leaving being in charge of Sketchy's NYC (staying in charge of the other global stuff though) in order to focus more on my own projects. It'll be a couple months before I fully transition but it's been a long time coming and I'm actually kind of relieved to move on. It does also put more pressure on me to fill that time with new projects, as opposed to just accepting it as time off. Working on other peoples' deadlines is always so much easier than my own.

    4) Don't Procrastinate Spiral - I've had more downtime this month than in previous ones, so I don't recall having anything that I felt particularly terrible about putting off aside from a few items I just didn't get to because of my most recent trip. I do, however, have a bunch of projects that I need to *finish* right now, as opposed to doing all the work up until the fine details. Getting everything together is my task for the next couple days.

    5) Keep Traveling - NOLANOLANOLANOLA! I finally got to go down for a week and just returned to NYC yesterday. It was amazing and wonderful and I'm trying to remember every fantastic thing that happened so I can write it all down in my blog. I feel like I didn't take enough photos, but then again, that kind of just means that I got to enjoy what I was doing. Also that a lot of the things I was up to couldn't be photographed. Amazing. No travels planned for now. I want to return there for Halloween again and again in February, but everything will depend on how said Kickstarter does. In the meantime, I have a ton of work to do this summer.

    6) Start exercising regularly - I have a lot of debt right now and couldn't afford a gym membership. I did swim nearly every day I was down in NOLA and have been screenprinting an awful lot, but still... need to get onto at least walking/stretching/basic aerobics when I'm at home. Birthday month is always a lazy month.
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      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2013
     (11086.12)
    I haven't fixed anything yet. Half way through the month and I'm still floating around, useless in my own life.
  6.  (11086.13)
    @razr - One of the things that kept me from losing weight for so long was the impulse to avoid the scale. Weight fluctuates whether you're losing or gaining, but when it took a temporary uptick, I would always get discouraged, give up, and stop weighing. I got a fitbit for Christmas last year, though, and started to actually log my weight every day because I'm addicted to charts. It was really heartening when I realized that my weight isn't random when I try to diet and exercise, but rather on a very slow and fickle progression downward. So, in fact, I'm not terrible at losing weight, I've just always given up when it started to go up again (which it still does, every few days, before it starts going down again). Once I realized that, it made it a lot easier to set goals and reach them, and watching the little chart take its turtle-like pace downhill really made a difference. I'm not saying you should buy an expensive exercise toy, but keeping a log of your weight for a few months might help.

    I'm afraid I don't have any advice on the more important stuff; I'm not good at self-motivation either. If I were, I wouldn't need to go back to college. I wish you the best, though, and hope you rock your language and speaking goals.
    •  
      CommentAuthorglukkake
    • CommentTimeJun 14th 2013
     (11086.14)
    @razrangel - have you tried setting alarms for when you should be doing something? Kind of like setting a school schedule, give yourself an hour for whatever goal it is you're aiming to do. Even if it's just like, "do exercises to youtube video" or "read japanese out loud". Maybe see which hours of your day tend to be the ones you're more likely to be floaty/uninterested in things and schedule it for them. That way, it'll be kind of a reminder that you can stop doing whatever is distracting you (like if you've fallen into a TV show marathon or are just deep in a funk and being mean to yourself) and just try doing your other thing for an hour. Set a timer to know when to stop and give yourself an hour break after. Also works as a reminder that you just turned the alarm off and didn't do anything that hour, ie: alarm says 'take a break' but "I've already had a break".

    Or, y'know, that way you also just put one or two things to do per day and you don't suddenly feel overwhelmed that you've been essentially hitting snooze and now you're 5 hours and 5 tasks behind what you've been wanting to do. Start small. One thing, one day a week, one hour block for it. Keep adding until you reach your level of saturation.

    I use my google calendar with all its email alerts and beeps and popup warnings to remind myself to get a task done, and to tell me when I have an hour before I need to be somewhere to remind me to pick up the pace if I've just been fucking around like, shoe shopping on the internet or something (which I've spent too long today doing, eep!) I'm good at self motivating, but I am bad at reminding myself of what I *should* be doing on any given day that isn't in my inbox. Alerts are a more tactile and intrusive way of reminding myself.
    •  
      CommentAuthorrazrangel
    • CommentTimeJun 17th 2013
     (11086.15)
    shite... I meant to respond on Friday but my post crashed then and I forgot to get back to it! YEah, when a day is normal that is the process I try to take just to get *Something* done. Actually worked out kinda ok on Friday. One hour per subject, like in school, but with bigger breaks in between (facebook didn't exist when I was in school };p) and I could actually do a little bit.

    Then immediately went off the plan for three days - weekends n shit - heading back tomorrow. Gym, voice work, some Japanese, writing. Let's just see.
  7.  (11086.16)
    1) Wii Fit/Health/Weight Loss: I have been asked 4 times at work when I am due. Already. So no, this is not going well. And I'm wearing my under-bust corset every day that I'm working now. Which is tiring, but I'm tired of people thinking I'm pregnant because I have a big pot belly. Fuck. Trying to improve my diet and exercise, but being poor and busy isn't helping.

    2) Work on Website/Sell Art: Le sigh. Maybe by next month I'll get my life back in order enough to actually work on it. Also, lack of time, due to (4) and (6).

    3) Consistently Clean Apartment: This is one of the few things that is actually getting better. My bathroom is actually clean! The mountain of dishes is shrinking! (Kind of.) There have been some serious setbacks, like all of the stuff that was in the upstairs at my parents was thrown in the garage (where there is risk of water damage etc) so I ended up having to put it all in my apartment, so there's piles of stuff in my living room (booo!) that needs to be gone through. And I need to do some filing and shredding in a serious way. Well, there's still my art stuff in the basement and some stuff in the closet of my sister's room, but I won't have to deal with any of that stuff for a while at least.

    4) Job Stuffs: New job is going fairly well, and I'm working 38 hours a week, so work isn't causing me to be on the verge of a breakdown (yay!) and I have a steady income (yay!). But. There's always a but, isn't there? But, the job is temporary, and the place I'm working at is a box store famous for being evil, and it looks like the hire people temporary, let them go when it ends and then re-hire them after two weeks is a thing that they do, and are going to do more of. Which is incredibly frustrating, because if I was on permanent status, I could get things like insurance and benefits. I probably should continue to look for jobs just in case. In the meantime I'm trying to get as many hours as possible (getting overtime whenever possible, which is only happening because they're desperate), and being as amazing of a worker as possible.

    5) Work on mental health/be well enough to date: Therapy is going well. Meds are working. Dating/social stuff isn't happening, but I'm too busy/poor anyway.

    6) Get my finances back in order: Life is expensive (dentist! mechanic! gah!), but things are getting better, slowly but surely. It's just painful as all hell in the meantime.
    •  
      CommentAuthoroldhat
    • CommentTimeJun 18th 2013
     (11086.17)
    1. Write the Beer Appreciation book. - On hold until I find a fucking job.
    2. Lose weight. - No. I'm pretty upset by this.
    3. Use the slowcooker more. - Still on hold as my slowcooker actually broke.
    4. Make beer. - Not yet, but soon.
    5. Get a part time job. - Kind of? Freelance has been kind of taking off.
    6. Continue to be there for certain people. - As much as I can, I guess.
    7. When growing season hits, ROCK THAT GARDEN. - Although bugs are eating my leaves, the garden is coming along. The hop vine has grown about four feet and JUST starting to wrap around my fence.
    9. Try and get out a bit more. - Yep.
    10. Look in to what is needed to start a bar. - On hold while I look for work.
    11. Drinking. We're cutting that down significantly. - Doing well with that, despite having a fridge of beers.
    12. Counselling. Get it. Sort that fucking head out. - "Why don't you fix that leaky roof?" "When it's raining it's too wet to fix it and when it's dry it's just as good as anyone's house."
    13. Be as awesome, strong and amazing as you know you are. See yourself as others, especially POS, see you. - NOPE. Getting better at it though.
    14. Keep doing Thirsty Wench stuff. - More posts starting up and it looks like I'm judging a fun event for Ontario Craft Beer Week.

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