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  1.  (11149.1)
    It's Thursday! It's mid-afternoon in London! It's another wrongheaded morning in Mericky! It's who-the-fuck-knows-when in Australia! It's time for more Crossed Hideosity!

    Episode 59, live and free-to-air.

    Remember: Not safe for work, not safe for minors, not safe for people of a nervous disposition, not safe for oyster, not safe for BLAZE SPLASH, not safe for Jast Eensa.

    IDEAIDEAIDEAIDEA
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      CommentAuthorddavie
    • CommentTimeAug 29th 2013
     (11149.2)
    That was a horribly incapable bunch! Guns vs spear and nary a bullet hits but the plussie hits "Dave" right in the fuckin' chest...guess one had a bit more practice than the others! (REALLY can't wait to see the rest of Shakey's sentence!)
  2.  (11149.3)
    an infected jumping out of the boat whilst screaming "SALMONLEAP!" is definitely one of my favorite parts of the series so far.
    damn, I want to see what happened with the Nun and how she got that way. show us the rest of Ashook/Nun/early Shaky adventures!
  3.  (11149.4)
    "Salmonleap!" -- my little homage to Pat Mills's "Slaine", there.
    • CommentAuthorNo Fear
    • CommentTimeAug 29th 2013
     (11149.5)
    Looks like Shaky will be leading the Crossed to the flotilla. Nasty, very, if that's the case. And really, really keen to see the 'origin' of the crossed nun.
    • CommentAuthorBadBeast
    • CommentTimeAug 29th 2013
     (11149.6)
    I caught the Slaine reference Si. You should think about Jackson having a warp spasm too, seeing as he's away with the fairies half the time. And Shaky (as chronicler) could turn out to be Ukko.
  4.  (11149.7)
    People who are not jaded to the Crossed is one of the most surprising things to come out of the series.

    Very suspenseful, and mad artwork. Jolly good.
  5.  (11149.8)
    good stuff, like always si.
  6.  (11149.9)
    I guess I didn't think Shaky was planning anything nearly as diabolical as leading the Crossed to the flotilla. More that he was pointing out that anyone who wanted to leave Cava and join up with the flotilla was going to be well and truly fucked if the Crossed ever attacked the flotilla. That little sortie showed that they're not all that experienced in fighting.

    Cava might be a a boring mudhole, but it's defensible, and the people at Cava are better equipped at fighting Crossed. Leaving might not be as appealing as it might've seemed before.
    • CommentAuthorblighty
    • CommentTimeAug 30th 2013
     (11149.10)
    @Mister Arioch I think you have a good point. The obvious thought would be that Shaky would be planning to lead the Crossed to the flotilla. And the fact that it was a cliff-h anger, last panel kind of thing makes it even easier to come to. But Si has been much more subtle and surprising (to be honest, I think WYWH is getting close to Breaking Bad territory in terms of setting up great cliff-hangers and then resolving them in unexpected but awesome ways). And this would also be kind of a leap of evil for Shaky (more in the character of Harold Lorre!). I would hazard a guess that Shaky is either wondering about where all the Crossed had gone since the flotilla hadn't seen them for so long (if they had been in sight of land for a while, then I would think it inevitable that at least a few Crossed would notice and investigate), or he might do something like put a note in Chekhov's envelope setting up a meeting somewhere where the flotilla people could see it and be frightened enough to move to Cava.
    • CommentAuthorgoliard
    • CommentTimeAug 30th 2013
     (11149.11)
    I posted this a couple weeks ago, and didn't get any responses, so here goes again:

    What if That's Not The Nun?

    What if someone pulled a Hannibal, cut the nun's face off, and stapled it over his/her own?

    This would answer the question of how a "non-crossed" could behave the way "The Nun" does, as well as a few others that have been brought up.

    Proud of myself for thinking of it, even if none of YOU lot are. And if I turn out to be right, I shall bite my thumb at the entire collective!

    Comments welcome. . .
  7.  (11149.12)
    A face stapled over a face does not look like a natural face. The only way this could work was if that detail is accountable to an unreliable narrator too.
  8.  (11149.13)
    It's not a face stapled on a face.
    • CommentAuthorMrBogey
    • CommentTimeSep 1st 2013
     (11149.14)
    So it's glued then, right?

    Just kidding. Lots of people are speculating all kinds of wild stuff now. At this point, I've learned to not stick my hands out on the roller coaster as I'm tired of seeing all these hands cut off by people sticking them out with their guessing.

    It seems like a lot of the mythos of the Crossed universe is still being built. I imagine it'll get more specific till Ennis does the origin story and nails down precisely what it means to be Crossed. You've already done a lot with the evolution of the mythos, as is.Till then whether the nun is "true Crossed" or a variant, pretending, or what is just onanism.

    What's interesting to me is the nature of the infection and how it turns people. Reminds me of a short story released a while back called The Screwfly Solution where aliens used a virus to flip a few genes in the male DNA to make sexual aggression and violent aggression the same. The whole idea is with men brutalizing the objects of their sexual desires instead of sexing them up it'd be the end of all humanity in less than one generation.

    Can't wait to see how this all turns out.
    • CommentAuthorTee
    • CommentTimeSep 2nd 2013
     (11149.15)
    No? Super glue then
    Lol
    • CommentAuthorHaggy
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2013
     (11149.16)
    This isn't speculation, just a dream I had the other night where I was talking to someone at some town hall looking place. He was reading Wish You Were Here too and we were talking about how cool the chapter was (obviously a future chapter from another reality) where the plusfaces attacked the flotilla with a telesquirt apparatus they had rigged to a boat, the telesquirt tanks filled with piss and shit and blood and gore bits. We talked about it in great detail but those details have faded.
  9.  (11149.17)
    @MrBogey-
    from what I understand, we'll know more about the origin of the infection come Badlands issue 50 - I hear Ennis is going to pen a tale about the origin. ARGH - only ~20 issues until then :(
    • CommentAuthorBadBeast
    • CommentTimeSep 5th 2013
     (11149.18)
    How perfectly apt. Shaky and Theresa share an epiphany moment in the Church. A cracked stained glass window with the sun shining through it, and suddenly they both realise that Sister Theresa Slashface is in fact, The Virgin Mary. Of course, they don't both believe that, but the idea is planted in memetic iconology, to germinate, and grow. This could very well be the start of Shaky's rather sad and desperate obsession with Theresa. After so much horror, Shaky's mind needs something 'Holy' it can cling to, something that isn't going to creep up and rape him to death in the night, or worse. The chick he's been White Knighting since before the Gamekeeper's 'struggle snuggle', turns out not only to be a Nun, but is actually The Sainted Holy Virgin herself, Mary, Mother of God! Thereby assauging the guilt he feels for his sexualating what the gamekeeper had already trampled with his filthy boots, then marked as his own with surgical eloquence on her face.

    In that moment, something in Shaky deifies Theresa. And at the same time Theresa sees it happening, on Shaky's slack jawed and momentarily open face, and she LIKES it. , She realises she wants, no, she NEEDS to be worshipped, she NNEDS men to lay down their machismo, their sexually driven aggression, and their filthy raping penises before her, in HER Holy service. This is the only way she can ensure she never has to endure the filthy lusts of men like the Gamekeeper again. She must disempower ALL potential rapists, whether Crossed, or simply horny chancers like her newly Sainted Apostle, Shaky, subservient to HER Holy will.

    This idea must have germinated in her already cracked mind (She WAS a Nun before the Crossed, remember?) taken hold, and become a raging fire of need. So much so that in the very instant this Virgin Mother of a HellWorld was born in the sunbeam of epiphany, and snagged her first Disciple Shaky, In that moment of Pentecostal dynamism, was born a link. A link of desperation, born from a World who's every other Sacred thing has been smashed to shards and violated. Desecrated by the Crossed, all previously puissant and benevolent Gods now lay dead and scattered, their raped bones bleaching in the Sun like so much carrion. A new Joan, of a very leaky and barely floating Arc, rising like a phoenix from the ashes of a dead World, bereft of all hope. A Unifier, to bring all men together in her Holy sight. Can you see where I'm going with this? Right off at my usual speed fuelled tangental arc of wrongness I expect, but don't judge me.

    If I was any good at this, it would be ME creating this post apocalyptic rape zombie ridden Hellworld and not Mssrs Ennis, Latham and Spurrier. So it goes. It's a dirty job, and someone has to do it I suppose. I'd have probably stuffed it up anyway, with Aliens, or superpowers or some other tired old trope. Keep up the good work Spurrier, and keep it at this kind of pace and standard, your end of term report will be glowing with every accolade the industry can chuck at you. Maybe.
  10.  (11149.19)
    Jesus. Here I am watching the news, watching the two biggest critics of the Iraq war, Barack Obama and John Kerry, going on and on about how we need an EXACT SAME THING ten years later in Syria.

    Then I read Crossed and watch free-lovin' hippie Tabitha talk about a first-strike offensive. I know the story is written weeks in advance and was probably plotted out years before, but unless Si is psychic or something his stuff is touching on mainstream issues right now in ways I don't think we're seeing anywhere else in any media.

    But anyway, this isn't a news thread, so let me stick to the story. Once again I find myself coming close to hating Shaky. Calling Elisa and Des "simple?" Well, excuse me, Mr. Auteur.

    But in the final analysis, I wind up giving Shaky a pass, again. Barely. It's a testament to the strength of the narrative. NOT Shaky's rambly whines, which are often grating. No, because of the way THE STORY IS SET UP, within the framework of the Crossed universe.

    It is the law of the jungle that the fittest have the best access to food and shelter. By floating in on their ships, the castaways have offered a glimpse of a much better life. Then they had the audacity to dictate terms of trade. You can only do that when you're standing from a position of strength. Especially when you're dealing with people who kill the Crossed before breakfast on a daily basis.

    And sure, we can say. What about being fair and ethical? That's all well and good, when you only have yourself to feed. But the prospect of a starving infant would drive anyone to full desperation. And THAT is what Tabs and Shakes are facing. It may be horrible, wrong, evil, blah blah blech. It's also TRUE and AUTHENTIC, if you expect the story to be taken seriously.

    And I'm sure there will be reversals along the way, which is also true and authentic. Very interested to see how it plays out. Jackson himself is still an x-factor.

    As for the other holy moment, I laughed hard at that. Only Shaky would try to make a move on the nun at a church, to be interrupted by a divine miracle. He wants sex and she has a vision of Madonna, not the eighties kind. (Sorry BadBeast, you're better at this kind of humor than me.)
    • CommentAuthorBadBeast
    • CommentTimeSep 5th 2013
     (11149.20)
    The last time anything like Mama Theresa's Cult of Frothy Crossed happened in Britain, didn't we pack them all on leaky ships, and point them Westwards?

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