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    • CommentTimeSep 2nd 2013
    Welcome to the bar.

    You can think of myself as a bartender, keeping the place clean while the boss is out of town if that helps. And Taphead is the local musician who will play a song to match your mood. know, whatever.

    Here's the place for you to tell us how you've been and what you've been up to.

    Here we go.

    The Rules:

    The THREE ACT SPEAKEASY is here for you to vent, to express, and to learn. This is your chance to perform -- but you're also in the audience, guv, and are expected to behave as such. So your skits at the steely Whitechapel microphone will ALL and ALWAYS be divided into three sections:

    1: The Boo. The Get-It-Off-Your-Chest. The "I've-Had-A-Shit-Week-And-I-Need-To-Vent". Your chance to scream silently into the face of Internet apathy, and trepan your pressurized consciousness. Deposit your spleen here.

    2: The Huzzah. Wherein you tell us something which goes just a teensy way to mitigating the effects of the psychic turd you just laid on our heads. Perhaps it's a tiny hint of hope in an otherwise bleak situation. Perhaps it's an unrelated Thing Which Happened which made you smile rather than frown. Shit, maybe it's just a silly joke. Show us you can cope as well as carp.

    3: The Applause. You will choose one of your fellow whitechapellers, from this same thread. Doesn't have to be the person who posted before you - just someone whose story touched you. And you will offer them a word of advice, or comfort, or support, to help them with their own SECTION 1 Whinge. Doesn't have to be much. A sentence, a word, a bloody emoticon - whatever. Just a paltry donation to the art of Thinking Of Others. And try to avoid schmaltz, please, or the Urethral Maggots will feast anew. Circle of life, kids.

    ALSO, because we haven't done it in a while and because we are all old and forgetful, show me a picture of yourself if you want. I'd like to put a face to the words. And no cross-posting from the SPIT thread, either. I'll know.

    Naturally, the first person to respond here is excused from Stage 3.

    • CommentAuthorTee
    • CommentTimeSep 2nd 2013
    How about a stiff drink to down all those rules ;)
  1.  (11154.3)
    The Boo: I really have nothing... life is pretty awesome.

    The Huzzah: A family has pretty much adopted me as their son. They're really awesome. Three daughters and a son, one daughter that I'm the most like is my age (mid-30's), the other one that I talk the most is just younger, the other two siblings are close in age. My wife and I have been going there for dinners (sometimes relaxed dinners, sometimes family dinners with grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.). I've been invited over when just the dad and his son-in-law would be there to watch movies... I've never really felt like I've belonged in a group of people before so it's pretty freaking awesome. We get together to play games, go for walks, go to the pool... It's making me more active, I watch much less TV, and, with how positive they are, it's making me a happier person.

    So I guess this means that the next person to respond doesn't need to applaud either...
    • CommentAuthorsilvercat
    • CommentTimeSep 4th 2013
    I could use that stiff drink.

    The boo: flat fucking tire first thing in the morning when I was already running late (because I hate getting out of bed.)

    But-not-entirely-boo: my neighbor who is a sweetheart was out to help me change it instead of calling AAA. And I screwed up the math when I was paying bills, or something, and have an extra $800, which means I don't have to put it on my nearly-maxed credit card.
  2.  (11154.5)
    I could use a spleen venting. Or a this-is-my-life babbling.

    I am sick of being broke. I think I'm going to get caught up on stuff and then on Friday, the exhaust pipe that attaches to the engine got unattached and started dragging on the ground. While I'm the next town over. I figured it out pretty quickly as the car suddenly became really really loud and there was this scraping sound, so I ended up having to drive with an obviously about to fall apart car on a highway for like 20 miles. Fuuuuun. Luckily I got a hold of the mechanic quickly and got it to his shop so he could have a look-see and told me that my car was indeed not going to drivable until he could work on it. And that he was behind on his various appointments so he'd have to call me later for a proper estimate etc. Well, today I finally found out that it would cost around $300, and that he hopefully would get it done before the 23rd. So, I have canceled my dentist appointment (filling) for around the end of the month, and rescheduled for early January, because the way my budget it looking, I'm not going to have the money until then. And it looks like for the next two weeks, my two day weekends have ceased to exist.

    At least I can drive my mom's car for the time being, but this does inconvenience the rest of my family. I'm pretty much done with the paperwork side of SNAP benefits, so I should have a card arriving in the mail in about a week and a half, which will mean that I'll have some help with buying food. I'm losing weight and have even gone down a size, but it's slowing down because I'm broke so I'm having to eat the less healthy stuff in my cupboards.

    @Warped Savant: That's awesome! Glad to hear you found some good people.

    @silvercat: I know, right? (I hate getting out of bed too.) Yeesh, car problems are really a pain. Glad you have an awesome neighbor to help you out, and super glad to hear that you're richer than you thought you were.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeSep 5th 2013 edited
    Just give me a water. Anything stronger and the consequences will be horrific.

    At the risk of breaking the Whitechapel Prime Directive...


    Intermittent periods of psychotic rage and sobbing. Mass self-pity around feeling so ill at the moment. Antibiotics - mission failure! Doctors - frustrating and useless! Desire to self-destruct - initiated! Head-unit feels like sickness dwarfs have rammed tampons into my nose and ears and pissed into my brain. I have goddamn brain-fog all the time. This node has health issues that are seriously rupturing it's reintegration on this planet.

    Requesting evacuation. Indigenous population are irritating and not worthy of the hunt.

    Isn't life beautiful:

    No, not really. MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!

    @all: *throws £20 at the bar* Have a drink on me. I'm fucking off to drink herbal tea and smoke fags. I live in a bloody dry-house!

    EDIT: Seriously, though, these melting headaches and stuff are almost making me give in. I really don't want to come back to this site moaning that I've relapsed. I was outside a meeting last night trying to get people to go for a drink. What was I thinking?! Booze = inhibitions down. Next stop: a crack-house, or something equally horrible. I now see my using as some sort-of crap career. A crap career that I was very good at - and I've retired from it. I wasn't one of these serial relapsers; I was out-there most of my life. I'm nearly a year clean, but my past is not done with me. Still, when I look at the people at the local drug treatment agency, where I'm trying to help-out, I guess I can see how good I'm doing, even if it doesn't feel like it most of the time.
  3.  (11154.7)
    Flecky -- You can work through this! Yes, sometimes it's really going to suck... and sometimes it won't suck quite as much. In the end, though, you'll break through and it will all be worth it.

    We have faith in you, we are here to support you. If you need anything, let people on here know.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeSep 8th 2013 edited
    @Warped Savant: Thanks. I feel like I'm holding on for dear life at the moment. On the whole, things are just one big suck!

    I found a bag of weed on the way to a meeting last night. I know - moaning about finding free grass *sigh*. I stuck it in my pocket, thinking about having a spliff on my bed in this dry-house I live in. But I had to look at the bigger picture. Doing that might have...shit, probably would have, led to a bit of paranoia. Which would have led to booze. Then...see where this is going? So I had to sling it; fucking shred it into a piece of muddy land at the back of the meeting; destroy it. Because If I left any trace of it I...dunno. Goddamn pity, really: it smelt like good shit :)

    Yeah, and I shared about it in the meeting. And they were all, like: "Well-done!" Bastards! :)
  4.  (11154.9)
    @Flecky Awesomeness with your self control. That big pictue versus in the moment thought process is key (and really fucking hard sometimes) I have no experience with what you are going through, but fucking bravo!

    Things have been great for me, mostly.
    Biggest bad was talking to a financial advisor at the bank. He got all my bills into one place, and I felt like I had finally taken control of my finances. Then I found out, he didn't put all my bills into one place, he put most of them in one place. The end result was for the first time ever, I owed more money in a 2 week period then I had. I go to get things inorder and they got worse.
    Basically this guy helped me long term, but fucked me for the end of Aug/start of Sept. and his response when I asked for advice. "Sorry"
    Financial advisor tells his client "Sorry"?
    So now I'm talking to other banks, because, fuck that guy.

    Biggest good was I finally shot some of my web series. Raised $2000 via indiegogo in June, and then had building supplies donated, which was going to be the biggest expense!
    Long story short, I now have a green screen set up in my garage/office, along with professional lights AND a spaceship.
    Shot 9 episodes last weekend and will start editing them this weekend.
    It's a simple little series, but I've had more interest in it then anything else I've ever done (been interviewed a couple of times and approached by a company in NY about distributing it)
    Crew were friends and the actors were fantastic.
    So happy with it so far.
    But it's a lot of work, so I haven't been around these parts much all summer.
  5.  (11154.10)
    Been a while, and life's been a proper shit lately so here goes:

    The shit (AKA LIFE):
    Still unemployed. Going on three months now. Had an interview for QA Lead at Obsidian that I thought went fairly well, but at the same time I felt it was unlikely I'd actually get the job. After nearly three weeks I got an e-mail confirming that I did not get the job. I applied for QA Lead at inXile around the same time as I applied at Obsidian, and never got any response whatsoever. I've been going through Craigslist applying for software QA jobs and game QA jobs at smaller companies and getting no response. I have zero income at present. I am paying four hundred dollars a month to my dad and step-mom for lodging. That plus other expenses means that I'm bleeding through my savings at a rate that I am not at all happy about. The other day my dad told me that he is getting pressure from my step-mom to make me move out (despite the four hundred a month in rent), because she wants to be able to use the room I'm in for her daughters and their new kids to visit. To be honest, I'm not super keen on staying here for various reasons, but I don't exactly have a lot of options for lodging on account of the lack of income/employment. My initial plans re: getting certifications fell apart because I haven't been able to find any good free study aids online (specifically, I need a whole bunch of different sample exams so I can identify the stuff that I already have a good handle on from work experience and my own philosophy versus the stuff that I need to study up on), and the test is $250 so I can't afford to fail it. I haven't gone to any networking events because A: I am really really bad at networking, and B: I'd have to spend money on drinks for myself, and I'm trying not to spend money on going out drinking. My dad's also pressuring me to learn geographic information systems stuff because there's apparently going to be a big demand for GIS specialists in the near future, and I've perused his text book and it seems simple enough. Unfortunately, I ALSO perused a couple of GIS jobs sites, and it's always a supplementary skill to a degree; so I'd need, at minimum, a bachelor's in geography, or finance, of forestry, or whatever AND to know ArcGIS to get a GIS job. So, my rope, it is nearing the end. OH, and I have a bald spot that appeared back in April. It's not changed size and it's not in a location that is consistent with male pattern baldness. I've been to a dermatologist and he injected some stuff into my scalp and the bald spot is still there, so I have to make another appointment, which means spending more money that I'd rather not.

    The Less Shit:
    I was riding my bike a lot (tapered off a bit due to weather and depression) and I think I dropped a fair amount of weight. I don't have a scale so I can't put a number on it, but I went out in my fancy clothes, and a waistcoat that the previous time I'd worn it I could barely breathe in actually fit me comfortably (still snug, but that one has always been a bit snug). My other waistcoat was actually loose enough that I tightened up the strap on the back.

    I'm doing a bit more work on my game, but my art issues are still keeping progress slow. I almost want to do a kickstarter or an indiegogo or something to hire an artist (I really think Zoetica Ebb would be perfect for it), but I am so terrible at selling myself that I don't think I'd get any money. I really need to make some sort of breakthrough on the code that'll re-energize me, but all the other life shit is just keeping me down.

    @Peter Kelly: I am super jealous of your webseries success.
  6.  (11154.11)

    The creation situation. I've had it in my head all summer that I wanted to make a series of mini comics, starting off with explaining the manners of New York City, explaining that New Yorkers aren't rude, we just take our own breed of etiquette fucking seriously. I've been plotting and taking notes while in the subways all summer. My intention was to have them ready to give away to people in the subways and in parks once the horrendous summer cooled off. For the past few weeks, instead of working on it like I wanted, I've been scouring and cleaning my apartment, and then breaking myself from the exhertion. (I've really been putting forth all my energies into making my apartment a comfortable place. I've been incapable of relaxing or thinking clearly with the cockroaches.) Finally, a little over a week ago, I sat my ass down and started collating all the notes I'd taken and figure out what size and format I'd use. THAT DAY I discovered that a book has been published of comics about New York City Etiquette and Tips, and our own John Skylar had his essay on the topic published in the Huffington Post (and was interviewed via video?).

    I'm frustrated. At myself, mind you, not John for writing something I was overjoyed to read. I was on the same wavelength, and was also going to create something about it, but instead of doing so I was stressing out and working on making my environment livable. I feel like I'm wasting my life and time scrambling towards stability and being nervous and poor, and not getting to CREATE.

    Stability is underrated.

    I need a space to work. My bedroom is tiny. There is some area I can use in my apartment for art making, but it's crowded shared space in a walk-through area. I would just create when my roommate is at work, but he works a third shift and I don't want to be THAT constantly nocturnal. His sleep schedule is erratic as well, so there is no telling when I can have the space to myself during the day. I gotta find some art space. Free art space for the disabled? I don't know such a thing exists, but I'm searching. It's maddening. I feel so .... artistically confined.


    Well, this has been a good kick in the pants reminder to stop just talking and thinking about things, and pretending in my head that it's the same thing as DOING. I can still do my original idea, just shift it a bit. Perhaps it's beneficial that etiquette and manners are something that's been brought to the forefront by others. I had other topics in mind, as well. Regardless, I've got to get off my ass and finish it.

    Going gluten free (at the suggestion of two of my doctors in the same week) has actually been beneficial. I do not feel often nauseated as I had been for ..... months? longer? and my feet don't hurt! It's amazing! I went walking for three days in a row and my feet haven't been throbbing in pain afterwards! not at all! I'm really impressed and confused at how effective it's been.

    I cooked some awesome meals this week, too. I impressed myself.

    I've been having some wonderful times with my boyfriend lately. Nothing out of the ordinary, just.... really enjoying each other.



    Doctors ARE useless. Especially when there's an addictive past.

    When I stopped drinking a while back, and ran into old friends, they COULD NOT wrap their heads around the notion that I wasn't drinking. They couldn't fathom me as a not-mangled mess. I've the benefit of non-addictive genetics, but I do have a lot of crazy and obsessive compulsion in my family. I spent my late teens and almost all of my 20's being constantly fucked up on whatever came my way. There was nothing I didn't try. I was THE party girl. Most of my friends from that time are a wreck, and have lost themselves in addiction. It felt really really really weird for a long time being clean, and almost as if I'd lost my identity. There was something really comforting about having that same rabid quest every night; HOW WILL WE GET WRECKED TONIGHT?! It was, in it's own way, direction. What really kept me going and helped me along being clean was, honestly, the feeling of superiority that I got from it. The more I witnessed people being wrecked around me, the more I saw elements I didn't like. I could see the emotional carnage of the bars at closing time. I could go home at 4am sober as a judge, looking at all the poor wrecks passed out in their own piss. The longer I didn't indulge, the less attractive getting wasted became. I started to appreciate more and more the idea of being sharp.

    I know my experience is FAR different and less dramatic than yours, but.... keep at it, man. The longer you stay on this path, the more alien your old life will be. You are doing FABULOUSLY.


    You should apply for food stamps. It's needs based, so if you have no income, and can get your dad to write out that you are paying rent on a monthly basis, then you could get food stamps. It's $200 a month. That goes far when you are jobless.


    Hoorah for Food Stamps!

    Warped Savant & Peter Kelly:

    Hooray for things being good!
  7.  (11154.12)
    Boo: old cat died.

    Hurrah: bought a new one.

    I tend to stay out of this thread because it doesn't seem fair to the people that use their real names. The thread is real people talking about real problems and here I come with an anonymous name and a background and way of life very different from the arty types.

    But lately I've been listening to a lot of Michael Rivero (link), and recently he fought off an attempt by the IRS to confiscate his means of making a living, which pissed me off. He's not my usual type of pundit but he reminds me a LOT of Whitechapel folks and his most recent comments about the economy I find interesting. I hate the idea that there are people out there that make the economy bad on purpose, but the evidence is hard to deny.

    And I've noticed quite a high number of Whitechapel residents are broke. I know something about being broke and I know something about being a broke Creative. I'm in a good position now, but I wonder if it would be presumptive to offer advice here. This is a thread for empathy, not advice, but it's not in my personality to ONLY offer empathy.

    So mostly I lurk. I do feel for all of you, though.
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2013
    Man, what a weekend. Here's my New York Open Mic.

    Fuggedaboudit: I got to see good friends, some I haven't seen in a while, some I've never met before. When they say that friends are the family you choose for yourself, these are the kinds of relationships you're talking about. Saturday (up to a point, please see below) was a blast--fried chicken in Koreatown, drinks at Ginger Man, good times. Sunday was lower-key: brunch at Brother Jimmy's, Forbidden Planet, got some new gear at Uniqlo, then had supper at Alchemy and stayed up bullshitting. Monday was very interesting. My writing partner and I are working on synergizing our brand and putting ourselves out there--blogs, postcards, a podcast, things like that.

    Giddaddaheah: I blacked out Saturday, which was scary. I entirely overdid the drink and puked on one of my friends. I was supposed to meet dorkmuffin at St. Vitus, but that was impossible. All in all, it was embarrassing, and definitely a wakeup call for the next time I go out.

    Ey yo: Rachael-I hear you on the workspace issue. I write at work on my lunch, and I can bang out 1,500 words on a good day, but that's a hard hour limit. Flecky--Keep on truckin', mang.
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2013 edited

    I'm frustrated. At myself, mind you, not John for writing something I was overjoyed to read. I was on the same wavelength, and was also going to create something about it, but instead of doing so I was stressing out and working on making my environment livable.

    I've read that a couple of times now and I'm wondering...why don't you just make it anyway? It's not like NYC etiquette hasn't been discussed before the book and article and last I checked, neither of them featured your perspective on it. And since it's a personal project, you have the luxury of not having a small window of time to put it out (though I think that making a deadline for yourself, with no excuses on breaking it, is something that is important). And I'm wondering why you even have to shift it a bit to change?

    I mean, fuck, I'm writing a beer appreciation book for beginners. You think that's something that EVERY SINGLE BEER WRITER in the world isn't already doing right now? Look in the bookstore and online, they're everywhere and there's clearly no shortage of them. But despite that I'm writing it anyway because it's in MY VOICE and I want to do it.
    • CommentTimeSep 17th 2013
    @rachael--if I had a dime for every time some MIND GANGSTER psychically ripped me off, I'd be a rich muthafuqqa. If that's your project, you have to see it through, because yours will be different.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeSep 18th 2013
    @Rachael: I hope you can find some free art-space. Schemes like that exist in this relatively little town I'm staying in now. Anyway, I guess sometimes it doesn't matter what the subject matter is. As Fauxhammer and oldhat said, it's your project, your voice, and it will be different. It's not a very good example, but loads of people have created, say, Superman or Batman or bloody X-Men comics. The majority of them are, in my opinion, pretty crap. But now-and-again, something can come along that is pretty brilliant. Like yours will be.
  8.  (11154.17)
    Thanks guys. Yes, I had planned on doing the same original idea for the most part. Unfortunately, my initial idea was to do work towards something rather exactly like this book. I mean, really really pretty much exactly the same thing. I was just going to have a more hands on approach and make smaller pamphlets and give them out until I made enough to compile together in a book. My plans have changed. But I'm alright with it.
    • CommentTimeSep 20th 2013
    The Boo
    Stress is monumental. I know it's because I'm not good at being flexible. Rigidity has played a big role in getting me here. And it's just going to get worse. Sis, her husband and daughter are moving in with us. I already live with my parents and two brothers, one of whom is schizophrenic. I keep feeling upbeat, like we'll be having sleepovers nonstop. I associate going to my sister's apartment with fun and drinking and silly movies. I think I'm feeling fey. It won't be like that here. Really, it's going to be eight people of varying degrees of stubborn, immature, crazy and frustrated. And we're all related. (except for Toby. poor Toby.)

    Oh and they're bringing a cat and a dog; we have no pets.

    The Huzzah
    Uh.. let's see. PIcking up more theatre. That's not what I wanted to do but it was in front of me and some of it even promises money.
    A breakthrough on a blog post. Still not ready, lots more that need writing and hammering, but the first part has cleared draft 2. Feels good.
    Going to go see some good theatre on Sunday. May soon get to see friends I rarely see.
    The weather is no longer nasty. Got back to the gym twice this week & twice last week.

    I'm coasting, mainly.

    Rachael - TOTALLY feel you on feeling confined. Sometimes just taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly feels like an act of radical creativity, it can get so hard to pull off.
    David - getting work to show up and stay put is a hoary bitch. There's just nothing for it but to plug away, stay tuned in, keep your chin up and a bunch of other bullshit. Everyone else is going through much the same.
    Peter - Huzzah for making stuff! Woot!
    Flecky - Good on you. Keeping clean is a full time job and you're holding to it. That's a good man.
    Trini - even a little weight loss is good for you, bonus you get to feel great about yourself because you earned it! Yay!!
    Warped - You lucky bastard.
  9.  (11154.19)
    (i wanted to add happiness to the hug thread, but it's sinking. poo. should I add it here?)
    • CommentTimeSep 21st 2013
    It's a Saturday night, let's do this.

    Ups: Got a new microdermal today. Pix as soon as I rinse the blood off. Bit of an impulse buy, needed to shake myself up a bit. Also my student loan came in and I did the math and it made me very happy, so it's a reward for a long summer of ramen noodles and sober fun. Seriously, I can't believe I can pay off my credit balance without dipping into my scholarship/rainy-day-fund. Pumped.
    Other stuff is also great: school feels like an absolute breeze, I've got interesting projects in the near future, a cool research-asst job that's gonna teach me a lot, and a great SO that enables my burgeoning Magic: The Gathering addiction.

    Flats: There's a very slight chance that I've bitten off more, academically, than I can chew. Whoop, we'll see.

    Sauces made of apples: Still pumped about how many people on the forum are polishing off novels and art shows and webseries and what-have-ya. You guys are amazing and I'm always awed at self-determination and stick-to-it-ive-ness. Ladies who are thinking that their books aren't worth writing because they're not totally unique ... unique things end up in infomercials. Unique is not a token virtue.