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    • CommentTimeOct 1st 2013
    Yeah yeah resolutions are for New Years, to be forgotten within the first week of January.

    But! this year we're trying something different. This time we are - or I am, at any rate - going to check in and stay honest about how this shit is or isn't getting done. The only way to hack a life is to just fucking do it. So goes.

    If you're new to these threads No sweat! Forget about January and New Year's Resolutions and all that crap and demand better of yourself today!
    I was trying to claw my way out but circumstances fucked everything up. Not only have to start all over again, have to start from a severe disadvantage. In a large-ish house with eight other people, sharing my bedroom with a kid who has a 9pm bedtime. No other place for me to go to be alone. I have very little money, no real way to get out of here.

    Oh anyway.. this isn't a whinycomplainy thread. This is the gitterdun thread. I've had to put aside my goals for a little bit to get the house and my room and my life ready up for this. Today I hit a wall, depression, freaking, crying... But I also went to the gym.

    So. My life is still mine. so fuck everyone and fuck everything. Tomorrow's another day.

    Well you guys can't be much worse. Speak up...
    Refreshers: New Year's
    Month 1
    Month 2
    Month 3
    Month 4
    Month 5
    Month 6
    Month 7
    Month 8
  1.  (11170.2)
    I keep not getting to this thread before it sinks. The last time I posted was in May.

    1) Exercise. Get in shape.

    I had been doing really well with this when I was on prednisone, and was going daily. These days, my head and neck have been in almost constant pain, the rest of my body exhausted and ouchy as well. It really does all depend on what medications I'm on and that is dependent on what doctors I see. It's a bit out of my hands at the moment, thought I AM seeking out a new and better pain management doctor.

    2) Get diagnosis. Make myself better.

    Yeah, well. That's been on my to do list since 1993. I'm dilligently going to doctors, and I'm going to try and raise up the money to get my DNA sequenced at It's only $100 (which is a massive amount of money to me right now), and while it doesn't directly say what genetic disorders I may have, you can download your raw data from their site and then plug it in to other apps that interpret it. (We totally live in the future!) I might be close to a diagnosis, given that the doctors seem to think it looks like Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.

    3) Draw. Paint. Make physical art. Get opening.

    Nope. Nothing. No drawing, no painting. I'm upset at myself for that. However, I do have that whole "my right hand isn't working" thing that's been acting up a lot. Whatever. It's still laziness and fear.

    4) Perform. Get on stage and/or audio recordings. Somehow.

    I've now been on WFMU live a few times, and went in two weeks ago to record some stuff for a Dream montage show one of the DJs is creating for later this month. HOORAY! I also might be considered for a host of something, but I'm not sure if that's still on or not.

    5) Get LASIK

    It seems that LASIK is very very bad for people with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Which I might have. So I guess I have to nix that idea. However, I am looking into getting contacts so that I needn't wear my eyepatch.

    6) Find a place to live that suits me / improve where I live now.

    The entire apartment has been rearranged, every single item has been cleansed and wiped down, there is sunlight and air, AND I have just about completely eradicated the cockroaches!!! My boyfriend bought me a bed, so I feel more like a human being. The downstairs nieighbors gave me a key to the basement so I can sit in the backyard (which I try to make myself do every day, at least for an hour or two.

    7) Lighten my load. Scan, sell, sew, purge.

    I just got a bunch of awesome clothes from my boyfriend's roommate, so it's been much easier to go through and get rid of the older clothes that are looking shabby.

    8) Website wrangle and get business cards.

    I made the one website, which was a "please hire me" site so that I could have something up, but not have to worry about disturbing potential clients. However, the real hurdle in my proper website. Going through my artistic stuff and figuring out what I want on the site and how to arrange it is.... daunting. I've been procrastinating, but at the same time, I think I've been saving it for a project to obsess over during indoor weather times. Right now I just want to sit outside with my laptop constantly.

    9) Enjoy living in NYC as much as I can. Get outside. Go to events.

    I did go out a lot in the spring, for my standards. However, money got tight for the fellow, and really, I'm riding his coattails when it comes to financing outings for the most part. I did take him to NJ a few times though!

    10) Learn how to actually relax.

    This has not happened. HOWEVER, being that there are almost no cockroaches in the apartment, I'm feeling amazingly relaxed in comparison.

    11) TRAVEL before I lose my fucking mind.

    I was off to a good start with this one, having gone to Detroit and Tampa earlier this year. There was supposed to be a trip to LA with the fellow, but he got dicked by a client and money got too tight to go. We might go this winter. We'll see.


    I'm working on something. I have some things in the works.

    13) Write. and/or make comics.

    So... I had this grand idea to make instructional guide mini comics about manners in New York City, mostly about the subway and how to walk on the sidewalk. And then, the SAME DAY I finally sat down to collate the notes I'd been jotting all summer long, I saw that someone had published a book via Random House all of little comic diagrams of etiquette and tips for New York City. And then, I saw that our own John Skylar was going to be live video feed interviewed by the Huffington Post about his essay "New Yorkers Aren't Rude, You Are."

    I rethought it. I am reworking it a bit. It's not really the kind of writing I had intended whatsoever, but that will come.
  2.  (11170.3)
    1. Art goals
    I have a real study space now, but school is exhausting and I am constantly worried about money and time. The work I'm making for school is teaching me useful skills, but the final products aren't as good as I'd like.

    2. Maintain target weight and get blood pressure in control.
    I should really buy a scale.

    3. Plan my website for selling prints.
    One week until fall break, when I plan to get that done, along with a bigass list of other non-school things that have been piling up.

    4. Become as effective a bike commuter as possible.
    I smashed up one of my brakes and had to ride around with only one working brake for a while until I could get it fixed. That was uncomfortable, but I did not get hit by cars, so that's good.

    5. Socialize more.
    I have friends and am seeing an exciting girl. This is nice, but also exhausting.

    p.s. I am exhausted. Really fucking tired and stressed.
    • CommentTimeOct 7th 2013 edited
    Sorry for the whole novel. September was quite the month...

    1) My Own Projects - Euuuughhh... having problems with the factory for narwhals, so it looks like I'll need to find an entirely new one. This will delay the project by at least a month, which means I'll miss my October projected deadline. It sucks, but there's really no salvaging how badly the original factory fucked up. Fingers crossed I can get them out by Christmas. On the plus side, I have a bunch of screenprinting gigs to make up the loss of cash, and plans to print some merch. I also have been receiving all the non-skewer rewards in the mail and those are about ready to go out so I don't feel like a *total* disappointment.

    APE is also a bust. Between 5 different things going wrong in trying to secure my badge/table/seller's permits, then my table mate had to drop out before she killed herself with an overload of work. I took that as a sign to drop it. And it's pretty good, considering that with the factory problems increasing my expenses, I would be severely pushing my bank account to afford to do everything. Despite missing out on another convention, I still have a nice backlog of things I had planned to produce that I can now make for the holidays, once all the other work is squared away.

    Oh, and I started a very silly iPhone app side project that is moving along quickly. I actually need to get my ass in gear to make sure *I'M* not the one holding everyone up, though it's a thing I'm doing in my spare time (heh). It started from a silly conversation on Twitter, and should hopefully be something you will all love (except, I guess, if you don't eat meat).

    My main thing is just making sure I don't overwhelm myself with what's going wrong and begin to ignore it in favor of shiny, new projects that aren't in flames at the moment. Or only working on the day job stuff because it's easier. I find that's my main vice when it comes to work focus.

    2) Draw Something Every Day - Nope. But I am at least writing down things more, doing shorthand sketches to myself to remember everything I want to do. I was crippled for a good week and a half with the flu last month, combined with some pretty epic depression and daily anxiety attacks... I was a mess. I'm hoping that I slid my brain back into place a little bit and don't fall into my old bad habits.

    3) Stop Being Behind the Scenes - SPX involved meeting a lot of nice people, although I didn't see it translate into anything particularly new for me. I felt really disorganized and rushed getting there and our table was so crowded (with three of us there) that I just couldn't turn myself *on*.
    Last week I ended up running a private Dr. Sketchy's at a conference that I had hoped to hire a proper instructor to run, as they wanted a demonstration on drawing for the hour long session. I couldn't get anyone to come out so I ran it myself. I was told I did a good job, but I still feel like I was incredibly unprepared, especially when things went wrong and tripped me up.

    I am reminding myself that this is about the 4th time I have *ever* given a talk/hosted a thing. I have never really had public speaking gigs save for what you guys have been seeing me do all year (and one way back in 2011 that I still can't bring myself to watch the video of). I'm going to fuck up for a while, so I'm trying not to be so down on myself.

    4) Don't Procrastinate Spiral - Nope. Triggering depression/anxiety to the point of contemplating going to a clinic and finding medication. Flu! General badness and way too much work to do turned me into a shitty worker last month. I'm making up for everything as best as I can and hoping it doesn't come back to bite me.

    5) Keep Traveling - APE is canceled. Part of me wishes I could get out of town for NYCC, just because I'm trying to avoid someone I know I'll run into. And partially that I feel like I still haven't done anything of note this year, so hanging around with everyone at the after parties just makes me feel like some groupie as opposed to a peer. But that's my insecurity talking.

    I did, however, get out of my area for a few hours over the weekend and took a (small) dose of mushrooms and ran around with a rather fantastic body high in a corn maze. We hid behind as they were closing up and then got to travel around alone in the darkness. We found a guard tower and climbed up to the tippy top and cuddled in a pile of people while watching the cows and sheep in the distance muddle around. It was the best kind of vacation.

    Going to NOLA at the end of the month for a week & trying to convince more people to come meet us out there. Halloween in New Orleans will be a nice treat after the rest of this hectic month.

    6) Start exercising regularly - I'm getting so faaaaattttttt...
  3.  (11170.5)
    See more of my friends - oh dear god I still have jagermeister coming out of mine eyeballs
    Start up the vegetable garden - I've just about eaten it all, definitely going to try it next year when hopefully we'll have a real spring
    Get this house finished the way we want it - ha ha haaaa
    Sell more prints in new places - I've started throwing paint around, and have a one-man cafe show in three weeks, for which I have decided to make all the frames. Bring on the terror!
    Stop spending three hours a night on the internet - pfft
    Finish that kid's book - back-burner'd with prejudice
  4.  (11170.6)
    1) Wii Fit/Health/Weight Loss: Last time I got weighed at the doctor, I had lost 10 pounds, so I'll take that as a win. Have probably gained weight due to very bad eating during the move, but it shouldn't be too hard to get back to the eat healthy thing.

    2) Work on Website/Sell Art: Not really happening at the moment. Need to get back to doing this stuff.

    3) Consistently Clean Apartment: Well, I just moved to a new place, so while I have boxes everywhere, it's not dirty either. I mean, I've swept the floors and cleaned the kitchen/bathroom areas a little, and once I get the kitchen and clothes situation figured out, it's just a matter of figuring out if I really want/need the stuff that's in the boxes and dealing with them. So it seems doable. I think.

    4) Job Stuffs: Work is good. Apparently I'm so awesome with customers that I'm going to be training new cashiers. I wish I was making more money etc, and I'm probably going to have to find a second part time job because soon I'll become a permanent worker, which means no more full time hours (because while the store I work at is generally good people, the actual company is kind of evil).

    5) Work on mental health/be well enough to date: Emotionally, I've been good lately. I even randomly went to a local bar last night and got free drinks! (I paid for my own tea though.) Except! Cue pathetic laugh. The silly infatuation with a co-worker, who I somehow rather stupidly ended up gossiping about to a customer, and said co-worker found out kind of, and now I need to explain/apologize and probably openly admit that I'm basically infatuated. Bother. It's not like I really expected anything to happen, or really wanted to make anything happen, but the infatuation was mildly fun when under control. Now that has to be squashed. Probably. Unless the unthinkable happens and he actually wants me or something. Anyway. That. I wish navigating male/female romantic relationships was something I actually knew how to do, because it really is a pain in the ass otherwise.

    6) Get my finances back in order: Well, as long as nothing happens, I'm probably going to be ok. Maybe. There isn't really much I can do beside cross my fingers at this point.
    • CommentAuthorrough night
    • CommentTimeOct 14th 2013 edited
    Resolution 3 complete -
    Thank you, glukkake, for pointing me in that direction!
    • CommentTimeOct 14th 2013
    @rough night WHOOHOO! Congrats on such a lovely shop!
  5.  (11170.9)

    - Finish the novel.

    Done. Out on October 5th.

    - Do another IF-game and try to win some more competitions.

    This is in the maybe-bin. I'm not stressing out about this.

    - Get my AESD research diver certificate.

    Yesterday was the final skills test for the school, a whole day of doing rather strenuous and challenging shit underwater, with a nice three hours of sleep. Passed it with flying colours, which came as a bit of a surprise for me. Now it's just a matter of some paperwork and that's it. Professional diver, then, huh. Spent 1,5 years as a researcher in university, now I'm in what's essentially a trade school and there's four papers in the pipeline with my name in them, the first one will be presented in December. This went well.


    - Slow down, fucking finally.

    And now we are here. To be a little bit dramatic, this morning I woke up to a new phase of life, my face looking approximately like this: ^_____^ I've done all the shit that has been buzzing like a bunch of hornets in my head. My calendar and todo hasn't been this empty since 1995 when I was unemployed. I don't feel the need to scramble and run anywhere, which has been sort of a constant companion for me. Oh, not that I'll go all sedentary, but now it's the time to concentrate on everyday adventures, the great relationship I have, friends, all that - and do things that feel good.

    So, my New Year's resolutions have been met. For fucking once :)
  6.  (11170.10)
    @glukkake Thank you! I'm really excited about it!

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