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    • CommentTimeFeb 21st 2014 edited
    @allana: I was going to ask for a link to the whole article, but after rereading your comment, I see it's not anywhere online. Bummer. I hope stuff works out overall. Maybe find a way to move back to Toronto asap? I feel like I'm stating the obvious in that Montreal is clearly not a good place for you.

    @Vornaskotti: I'm with allana and oddbill's article - studying multiple disciplines makes it possible to see connections one would miss otherwise. Also, note that during the Renaissance, artists etc were expected to be engaged in multiple disciplines. Granted, they also had patrons, so they didn't have to take up an extra job to pay the bills often (or the extra discipline paid the bills).

    @JP Carpenter: I hope that you get the car stuff, the roof stuff, and the finances under control. How, I don't even, but something. If you were in the US, I'd say maybe you could go through all your stuff, see what you can get rid of and try to sell it or something, but I don't know how that works in the UK.

    @Rachael: Part of me is tempted to say that regardless of how spacey the both of you are, just removing the stress of shitty roommate should make your life better, and maybe living with your boyfriend won't be so bad. Then again, I'm not so ready to move in with my boyfriend due to our mutual distract-ability (and lack of space), but it would certainly remove some serious money stresses. So what do I know? Regardless, I'm hoping for some serious improvements in your life as a result of not longer being around toxic roommate.

    Boo Hiss:
    I, and pretty much the rest of Wisconsin, am really really ready for the snow to go away. I almost wouldn't mind some of the cold if it just doesn't snow anymore. For a nice long time. We've been having so much of it, people are running out of places to dump the damned stuff. And I am tired of the shoveling the stuff. And my landlady is finding out that the roof absolutely must be shoveled off or ice will get in between the shingles, and then on the occasional lovely warm days, I get to search for containers and funnels and towels to deal with the inevitable leaking. And my gas and electric bill? I think more than seventy-five percent of it is just for the heating. Which is really expensive. And I'm already stressed about money! And of course, all of the above ads to my fatigue, which makes it even harder to not do important paperwork and shoveling and etc, which has the potential to make my life better. Which also means I've been struggling to force myself to do all the important paperwork etc, which would result in helping making a lot of my stress go away. (Insert frustrated scream.) To top it off, my very sweet adorable and wonderful boyfriend is very bad at remembering to take care of himself, especially in the dress warm enough for winter department. Which means he gets colds. And then doesn't really realize that he's sick, and then he kisses me (etc), and I get his colds. Which adds to the entire mess.

    Yay!: I'm learning to keep a better eye on boyfriend's health so I don't get sick. Also working on getting him to dress warmer. Probably won't be successful, but who knows. Maybe I'll be lucky. There are some fun things coming up, like I will probably visit the ice caves with my boyfriend, since they're supposed to be something spectacular, and we live in the general region, so we don't have to drive all that far considering. Also, all the tourist traffic from the ice caves is wonderful for the local economy, so at least there's one really good thing coming out of all of this cold weather (especially since this is usually a hard time of year for tourist based business). Overall dating experience has been very nice, and I actually had someone to spend Valentines with for the first time ever, and he liked my presents. I'm learning to balance my independence and this dating thing, and so far there haven't been any major catastrophes, and for this I am grateful.

    Edit, because oops, I forgot to add the picture.
    Couple Photos at His1
    • CommentAuthorheresybob
    • CommentTimeFeb 21st 2014
    Here in Boston.

    Tired of snow. Tired of Thundersnow. Big heaping glops of snow. Over it.
    • CommentAuthorMark R
    • CommentTimeFeb 21st 2014

    ...pretty much the rest of Wisconsin...

    I'm north of Milwaukee about 40 miles (West Bend) am in total agreement with you. I am hoping for a warm summer after this long, dark, unending cold. The first person I hear complain about the heat/humidity is gonna get throat punched. Stay warm up there...
      CommentAuthormister hex
    • CommentTimeFeb 22nd 2014
    @ TO ALL WHO WISH THE SNOW WOULD BEGONE, Canada stands with you. I hate this shit.
  1.  (11211.105)
    BRING YOUR SNOW HERE, the winter in Finland has been October November November March, March...
  2.  (11211.106)


    Seeing the doctor, I've been assured that the vascular asymmetry in my brain is minor and not cause for alarm (though it is a sign of migraine). In fact, the migraine specialist suspects that migraine is the cause for most if not all of my neurological symptoms. Hemiplegic Migraines. They make half of you numb, and all sorts of wierd symptoms. She says that I had migraines without headache for most of my life, and only now got the headache part.

    I don't know. Every specialist I see thinks I have what they specialize in. But if I've got Vascular Ehlers Danlos, this would make sense.

    Now I've got a whole different slew of drugs to take, and I'm not to take the Vicodin anymore, because even the tiniest withdrawal can trigger migraine. And that's just super sucky. It's the one weapon I've got against the pain that lets me kind of function when I really have to. Look at all this Vicodin I'm not allowed to use!

    Whatever. It's just getting worse, and there is evidently nothing that can be done about it, really. My right side will just get worse. I will never get better. My mind is just going to continue to get more clouded.

    Going to two doctors and a cafe on Thursday fucked me right up the next day. Last night got really bad with the headache and pain and stuff, and I had a serious freak-out sob over everything. I just... I missed my chance. My body is too fucked up for me to do so much of the stuff I promised myself I would still do later. And so so so many creative endeavors I'll never ever get to do because... I'm just not reliable. I just can't say that I'll be able to work hard or be on time or complete something by deadline or arrive somewhere or think clearly or that my body will work appropriately. I've long long long harbored the dream of once again acting somehow, but it's just not plausible, and that is.... well, now I'm crying again just writing it out.

    The idea that I might have a truncated life span was something I could take in stride, but.... I thought I'd at least be able to fix my right hand, or stabilize myself and get rid of the constant pain somehow. But I'm just at the whim of my masochistic body. Just... I have no say in when it decides to make me fall apart.

    Nobody will ever give me responsibility. I'll never be truly independent. And that's...... it's killing me.

    Whatever. I should stop writing about this shit. I'm sure you're all tired of hearing the same old shit from me. blah blah blah sickness pain sad me fuck off.


    After the headache doctor I went to the gyno and I'm gonna get some LABIAPLASTY! Hooray! I've honestly found this shit uncomfortable since I was 10 years old. It's not HUGE, it just rubs odd when I wear pants and is very uncomfortable. I'm quite looking forward to it, even if there will be non-disolving stitches.

    And being in Manhattan on Thursday, I decided to swing by an event that an old friend was performing at, which was really entertaining, and then he and I talked for hours!! I'd not seen him in 8 years or something.

    And since I was out in the world, I drew people on the subway and in the venue, which had been a long time.


    Trini: I wouldn't say my roommate is "shitty"; more like "frustrating" and "maddeningly passive aggressive". As far as the boyfriend goes.... he's been so broke since the end of October that those times where I'm bed bound and sick and he offers to go out and get me food, I hve to give him my food stamp card because he can't afford to buy me some soymilk on his own. And... it's not about money, it's a stability issue, y'know? I'm a mess. I don't know if it's fair to ask someone who is hardly staying afloat to take care of me, and I'm not sure if he's up for the job, and I know I can't take care of him.

    Also, OOOOooooOOOH! Ice caves!!!


    Hooray for finishing things! I like your take on things, and I, too, have been trying to have a similar attitude. Also, something I was just telling the fellow last night, it's important, I think, to not save "important" projects for later when you feel your skill level is up for the challenge or something, because the passion and creative interest in things often starts to fade, and you feel less connected to the project, or that it's less relevant to your life. Also, your Adventure girl aways sounds amazing.


    Thank you! Regarding your man-cave, can't you just cover over your roof with a tarp, and avoid the whole leaking thing? It's not a pretty solution, but it'd work! Also, maybe you could save yourself some pain if you became one of those commuting people that wears sproingy sneakery shoes to and from work, and just brings the nice shoes to work with him? Or even just keeps the nice shoes AT work? That's common around here. Also, HOORAY for vacation! You deserve it!


    Good luck with the teeth, man. That shit is gawd awful.
  3.  (11211.107)
    @Rae, it's got two tarps on it now, but the gales have either ripped them or otherwise disrupted them, not yet had the chance to get on the roof to see exactly what's happening. Doesn't help that it now appears to be flooded underneath, so I think some damp has come up from the floor... the weather here has been abysmal. To be honest, the whole structure is fast becoming a write off.

    I also bought some trail running shoes to go to work in, they should help once the leg heals.

    Yay for the good omens -I liked the train sketches you posted.they reminded me a little of Mervyn Peake's gormenghast sketches.

    @Alanna, vorn, that whole question of lots of broad interests versus one deep one is something I think about a lot.
    I used to be very single minded about what I did, whether it was drawing, music or photography. Now I've spread myself across loads of things and don't seem to have a grip on any. I have a friend who focused on video editing since he was about sixteen, and that's paid off with one of his edited films being shown at Sundance. I don't think I could stay that dedicated to something, but I admire it.

    Snow people- I'll take your snow over our wind and rain...
    • CommentTimeFeb 23rd 2014 edited
    Just to recap: I live with my parents. One schizophrenic brother and one brother just so socially maladjusted even an introverted fangirl like me gets irritated with him sometimes. Also my sister moved in last fall, with her kid, husband, cat and dog. In fact, I share a bedroom (and bed, it's really huge) with the kid. That's eight people and two critters of some consequence.

    Shit could be worse with crowding and limiting resources, definitely. But the state that we're in is still massively subpar. It's never freaking quiet except approximately from 1am to 5am, which I know because I'm typically awake those hours. And I've become mostly nocturnal because of all the nonsense the family puts up I can't begin to imagine how to handle my shit during most of the day. Best to be unconscious. But that sucks too because the world is largely diurnal and a lot of the stuff that I really could use getting done would happen best during the day, e.g. cooking, going to the store, taking a shower.

    But Jesus, seriously, from the time they get up around dawn to the time they finally sack out, they're shouting across rooms to each other, arguing with my shithead schizo brother (he alone makes for chapters of what I hate in my life)(I try very hard to be understanding and patient, but I fucking suck at this when I have to be around it every day), yelling at the kid because she refuses to get her crap done on time and frequently lies or disobeys her parents... FUCK.

    Goddammit I miss living alone.

    I'm only so good at taking off to a coffeehouse or library. I generally don't think about those options - and they're also only open during the day, natch. and it's a pain for various other reasons. (gah! I have to put on shoes! And pants!) But the bottom line is it reminds me that I don't live in my own place.

    VO Trio
    I've posted this pic all over the place, but it still makes me fucking happy as shit. Steve Blum (on my left) is one of my heroes, he's done a zillion characters, he's the Guinness record holder for video game appearances and is just one of the sweetest human beings on the planet. Troy Baker (on my right) is very pretty. I mean, um, he's a terrific actor, he's been in some of the marquee video game titles of the past couple years, he's really smart about what video games are up to and where they're going and is generally a fan and booster for the new(ish) medium.

    It's been a tough week for the ol' voice over career. On the one hand see above and ALL MY TEETH.
    On the other hand, I'm feeling pretty well cheated by a company. I wasn't counting on them hand me a career, but what it said on the tin was "we'll connect you with people seeking voices, you audition, if they like you they hire you." Nice. Small time, but nice. Except, actually, if I audition they stop connecting me. Why? Fuck knows. Some kind of attempt to keep from overwhelming the clients with crappy auditions. Except the clients set how many auditions they want to listen to. 200? Okay the project window closes either at a deadline or when they get 200. Only 20? Okay the project window closes when they get 20. The thing is we all assumed it would be the first 20. Nope. The service itself picks you to receive the audition. Again, if you audition a certain number of times in a week or a month then it doesn't send you any more auditions. Um. That is some serious horseshit.

    Why is this on my WAGGIN side? Because I also attended a monthly meetup of VO people from across the spectrum - curious high school kids, college theatre students, newbs like me, and pros making any level of VO income you want to note (you CAN make a lot of money on VO...though I would generally just say these folks can live on it, including mortgage payments). And at this meetup people got up and talked about this service and a few others that work the same way, and while they made me face the realization that my subscription to this service was in fact a waste of money, that I'm not alone, I don't suck. God it was good to be validated like that. And also I got to see some of my workshop classmates, which also made me feel a ton better. Some of them are really getting ahead - booking some great gigs, which is making the way for them to attend cons in other cities, etc. I'm so excited for them!

    So, yeah. All turned around and upside down.

    @Rachael - Um, good luck?
    @Trini - Whoa, I may have missed something. I didn't realize you had a full time BF! Yay! And sorry... I was aware you were getting frustrated with trying to date so I thought the last thing you tried fizzled out. Anyway, neato!

    All you people with the snow... Well I dunno. My reaction to snow is to go running madly in it like a caffeinated three year old. But of course I've never had to deal with it day in and day out. Because it doesn't snow here. At all. Ever. Mostly. I mean there was that one time, but that was like an hour and it wasn't even cold. Sometimes I do wish we could have some more intense weather, just to break up the monotony of sunshine but eh.... Although, if you should like to ship us some of your rain we would gladly accept that, kplzthz. 'Cause we're frickin dying without it.
    • CommentAuthorflecky
    • CommentTimeFeb 23rd 2014 edited
    @Rachael: Hang in there, mate. I keep looking at them Vicodin - I would gladly neck the lot at the moment, what with the damage that twat of a dentist has done to me, but, 'cos I'm a fucking good boy in recovery, all I can take at the moment is paracetamol and ibuprofen. I feel like killing people in this fucking house I live in - with petrol bombs. I'm...fucked! Anyway, I get a small sense of comfort from just accepting that - I'm fucked!I dunno, just hang in there. I don't really know what I'm saying, 'cos I'm insane with pain.

    Sorry to break format, moderators supreme!

    EDIT: A few days later - no murders, and I'm slightly better. I will survive all this stuff, because it's what I do.
  4.  (11211.110)
    Thanks Flecky!

    This has been rough. I've been blessed with genes of a non-addictive sort, but even so... being in constant body/spine pain and having something that would let me feel normal for a little while, something that would let me go out, something that would let me keep plans when I feel too awful.... it's right THERE... but it would make the brain melting migraine kick in. When I was in my early 20's I ended up with morphine pills and even though I ended up puking and not able to sleep, it was the first time I could remember that I was actually physically comfortable. For years I've been strong and was responsible with my 'scripts, taking a few days off every week to avoid momentum.... and it's been making me worse all along?! Now I don't get any breaks. I feel like my freedom has been taken away.

    Actually, I feel like Lisa, Jaime Summers' evil impostor in the Bionic Woman.

    I bawled a lot the other day. The chills and the sweats and the fever is rotten, but I'm hoping that with time, I'll even out. It hurts to move, but least I can be upright without my head feeling explody. I'm glad you are feeling better too, Flecky! :D
    • CommentTimeFeb 27th 2014 edited
    I've been rejected for maybe five things this week. A travel grant, a student award, a fellowship, and then another travel grant, is what I can remember offhand. The fellowship I didn't even get an interview for, which is a huge bummer, because I was super confident - it was essentially tailor-made for me. Something something very competitive blah blah.
    Meanwhile, I'm officially living alone in Montreal for the next two months. I know I'll basically just buckle down on school stuff and it'll be cool, but I'm still a bit upset.
    Still stressed about things that have sucked cumulatively over the past two months. Trying to get my tax return in as early as possible, badger my boss (for a research project) into scheduling a meeting, and generally be on top of all money stuff where possible.

    My relationship is still nominally intact, and I had a great time with his family. His hometown is beautiful and we started urban-planning for it.
    My school gave me a bursary to cover his unpaid rent for the next two months. Thank god, there was no way I was going to sleep well thinking I might be on tap for his rent.

    Just used up a bunch of air miles to rent a car for Spring Break. I don't have a passport, but that's okay, because I'm going to drive east and then maybe west and then I dunno. A whole week! With a car! Yessssssssss.
    (I had no idea the ferry to Newfoundland was 150$ with a car, though, so I guess I'm not going to get that far. Still, the east coast, I've never been.)
    The expense is going to be kind of painful anyways, but I really really really need to not be in Montreal for as much as humanly possible.

    Found a couple of old photos, edited, threw them online, got lots of votes. That's always nice.

    Come visit me in Montreal, I'm lonely and there's a spare room.
    But not this week, because I'll be driiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

    library selfie:
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2014