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    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.1)
    Yeah, I'm doing a thread...

    I have a feeling this one is going to get political, even more so than normal.

    The Russian girls seem to be getting booed by the Danish crowd every time they take to the stage, and we've got the usual selection of terrible ballads and ill-advised folk/trance fusion to look forward to...
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.2)
    Ukraine :- wind machines, man in giant hamster wheel. Bland. NEXT.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.3)
    Belarus :- average boy band, tortuous attempts to rhyme things with the word 'cheesecake'.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.4)
    I'm going to keep going even if no-one else joins in...

    Azerbaijan :- maudlin ballad, not that bad though. Also featuring a trapeze artists because Eurovision.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.5)
    Iceland :- colour co-ordinated chaps, catchy but also irritating. Clearly the favourite so far.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.6)
    Norway :- oh my, cheer up mate, it's Eurovision! This is so very earnest...
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.7)
    Romania :- they appear to think they're the Black Eyed Peas. They are not.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014 edited
     (11343.8)
    Armenia :- was apparently the early favourite, but it's just another earnest piano ballad.

    Wait, DROP THE BASS...

    Yeah, this has kinda gone down some dub step / orchestral fusion route.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.9)
    Montenegro :- rollerblading ballerina! Folky violins. But you hardy ever win this singing in anything other than English or French so...
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014 edited
     (11343.10)
    Poland :- 'one for the dads' as they used to say. It's the Polish Spice Girls. Really blatant tits and arse stuff.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.11)
    Greece :- I don't even know how to describe this. Several men bouncing up and down to a background of random noise.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014 edited
     (11343.12)
    Austria :- the bearded lady. Who knows how this will do.

    Hmm, passable Shirley Bassey style Bond theme stuff. I think this has the win.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.13)
    Germany :- Here's another folky one, if it lost the accordion it might actually be decent.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014 edited
     (11343.14)
    Sweden :- the actual favourite... I can kinda see why. Decent range on the singer. Very 'X-Factor' sound to it.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.15)
    France :- as per usual they're trying really hard not to win.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.16)
    Russia :- twins tied together by their pony tails. Slight 60s vibe to the track. Probably doesn't deserve the booing it's going to get at the end...
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.17)
    Italy :- are you ready to rock? Cause these guys aren't. Slightly ill-advised roman emperor outfits. This is really quite terrible.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.18)
    Slovenia :- 80's shoulder pads for an 80's power ballad.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014 edited
     (11343.19)
    Finland :- boy band time! if the singer was a little more confident this could take it. Plenty of stuff in the charts now sounds just like this. Very Maximo Park.
    • CommentAuthorFlabyo
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2014
     (11343.20)
    Spain :- Again very X-Factor, given she actually placed pretty highly in the UK X-Factor it's not that surprising. Doubt it'll win though.